Book Review – Barbara Berger’s new book ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?

Barbara’s highly praised book – “Are you happy now? – 10 ways to live a happy life” will be released in the US, the UK and the other English-speaking countries on August 30, 2013!

 

For Barbara’s many readers around the world, the book is already available in Czech, Danish, Dutch, Estonian, Finnish, Greek, Hebrew, Hungarian, Italian, Korean, Latvian, Lithuanian and Swedish. And will be coming in Icelandic later this year.

 

Mind your own business

One of the main messages of the book is that if you want to live a happy life, it’s a good idea to mind your own business! Here’s a short excerpt from Chapter 5 which is called “Mind Your Own Business”. Enjoy!

 

“Minding other people’s business is a sure-fire way to make yourself unhappy. That’s why if you want to live a happy life, I highly recommend you take a close look at this mechanism and ask yourself whose business you are in?

   But what exactly do I mean by “minding someone else’s business”?

   Well when you mind your own business, you take care of yourself. You are in your own space, focusing on what is going on inside you and on what’s good for you. And you try to make the best possible decisions and take the best possible actions based on everything you know, feel, and love.

   When you are minding someone else’s business, you are in their space either telling the person in your mind or out loud to their face what you think they should feel, think and/or do. When you do this, you’re minding their business. And minding another person’s business is quite simply invading their space, unless they have specifically asked for your help or opinion.

   So try watching yourself during the day and ask yourself “Whose business am I in right now? Am I minding my own business or someone else’s? Who am I making judgments and decisions for right now? For me or for someone else? And who am I worrying about right now? Who am I thinking about, making plans for, or afraid for?”

   You might want to put this book down and ask yourself this question right now. Who’s in your mind at the moment? Who are you worried about right now? Is it your mate, your parents, your friends, your kids? And what kind of worry is it? Is it concrete and practical because you’re standing right next to this person and he or she is in a life and death situation right this minute and only you can save them? (Probably not because how can you be reading this book at the same time?) Or are you extending yourself into their space and making judgments and suggestions—in your own mind—that are not yours to make?

   It’s interesting to think about. And it’s interesting to observe as you go through your day and interact with your family, friends and business colleagues. This is a new concept for many people because it’s something we don’t learn in school. So few people are truly aware of what they’re doing. But if you want to live a happy life, the time to wake up and become aware of this mechanism is right now. The key to releasing yourself and others is to stay at home in your own business. Watch what you’re doing and when you find you are moving out of your own space, make the conscious decision to pull back your projections and ideas about what you think other people should or shouldn’t be doing. And stay home with yourself!

   When you start to understand this mechanism and begin to notice what you’re doing, you’re probably going to find that a lot of the time you’re everywhere except at home with yourself. If this is the case, don’t despair. Becoming aware of this mechanism is in itself a powerful impulse for transformation. And it works automatically because as you start to see what you are doing, your natural inclination will be to pull back your projections, ideas and suggestions about what you think is good for other people. Your natural inclination will be to let them decide for themselves. Because as you wake up, it becomes obvious that you can’t know what’s good for them anyway. In my experience, thinking that you can or do, causes nothing but pain and personal anguish.

   So all we’re left with is the question – whose business are you in? Theirs or yours?”

 

Here is a list of the 10 ways Barbara talks about in the book:

No. 1: Accept what is
The number 1 cause of suffering and unhappiness is wanting life to be something it’s not.

 

No. 2: Want what you have
The number 2 cause of suffering and unhappiness is wanting what you don’t have.

 

No. 3: Be honest with yourself
The number 3 cause of suffering and unhappiness is not communicating honestly with yourself.

 

No. 4: Investigate your stories
The number 4 cause of suffering and unhappiness are the scary stories you tell yourself about life and the world.

 

No. 5: Mind your own business
The number 5 cause of suffering and unhappiness is minding other people’s business.

 

No. 6: Follow your passion and accept the consequences
The number 6 cause of suffering and unhappiness is not doing what you want because you think people will disapprove.

 

No. 7: Do the right thing and accept the consequences
The number 7 cause of suffering and unhappiness is not doing the right thing because you’re afraid of the consequences.

 

No. 8: Deal with what is in front of you and forget the rest
The number 8 cause of suffering and unhappiness is shadowboxing with illusions instead of dealing with the reality in front of you.

 

No. 9: Know what is what
The number 9 cause of suffering and unhappiness is wanting absolute satisfaction from relative experiences.

 

No. 10: Learn to see beyond impermanence
The number 10 cause of suffering and unhappiness is believing we become nothing.

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MORE ABOUT THIS AMAZING BEST SELLING AUTHOR

https://eagleman6788.wordpress.com/2013/04/07/the-awakening-human-being-interview-with-my-friend-barbara-berger-by-tim-ray/