Most of us are young, inexperienced and extremely naïve when we start rearing our children. We raise our children on a trial and error basis. There are virtually no education or preparation available to young couples when they get married or when they decide to start a family. The first six years in a child’s life is his or her most important formative years. The “emotional” foundation put down in his heart and mind during this important period will become the decision “filter” that he or she will use for the rest of his or her life. It impacts on every aspect of his or her being if a child was “damaged” psychologically in these vulnerable years.
We think of child abuse and serious neglect when we read statements like this, but psychological and emotional damage can be caused by many other factors. Most of us do not know that everything that we do in life is motivated by a desire to experience pleasure or circumvent pain. This mechanism controls who you are and impacts on every other aspect of your life. This mechanism works on a subliminal basis and can make you or break you.
Your parents “programmed” you by using their own perceptions as base. They programmed their fears and preferences into your decision-making mechanism. You might fade under pressure or mentally hide in terror because of an unpleasant experience that your mother had in her childhood.
When you study the real achievers in life you soon discover that they broke the negative influences that their parents cemented into their decision-making mechanism. They look at each new project or problem in a very objective and realistic manner. They do not allow the automatic pain and pleasure system to kick in as it usually does.
Success is thus a ridding process. You need to get rid of your historical programs that are possibly outdated or that may have been warped from the start. Take each person, event or problem and focus on it objectively and in the moment. They rise above other people because of their wisdom and insight. Stop reacting automatically when faced with a choice and ask yourself, “What is the valid data in the moment?” Love your parents unconditionally, but stop projecting defective and outdated fears into your current moment.