Your challenge is clear: To re-create your self, to become the person you want to be, living the life you desire, you must change the negative, contradictory, and outdated beliefs that are creating the unsatisfactory conditions of your life.
If you already believe in your ability to change, then this column will reaffirm and strengthen that positive belief. If you’re thinking, “People can’t really change,” this column will help you change your beliefsabout your ability to change.
Consider this: Your beliefs create your life; therefore, you, and only you, control your life, forming your experiences in line with your belief system. Because you can examine and evaluate each belief, and decide whether or not you want to keep it, then it follows that you, and only you, can make the changes you desire, by discarding those beliefs that do not produce the desired results.
You Control Your Life
You are the author of the “autobiography” known as your life. If you’re unhappy with some of the “chapters,” you must revise and rewrite them until you are satisfied, fulfilled. But first you must accept that you, and not some “ghost-writer in the sky,” are doing the writing.
Many people deny authorship of their life story. They begrudgingly accept some responsibility for their experiences – but only up to a point. Beyond that point, they tell them-selves and anyone who will listen, that their own life is out of their control. On the one hand, denying your role in creating the unsatisfactory conditions of your life is a convenient way to absolve yourself of responsibility for whatever you don’t like about your self. On the other hand, this behavior doesn’t reflect the truth of being, nor is it helpful in putting your life on a stronger footing.
Most commonly, the people who deny their part in creating the unfulfilling aspect of their lives claim that their life story is written largely by some “collaborator,” or “co-author.” Their “co-author” is called by many names. God, Fate, Luck, Karma, and the Stars, are among the most popular.
The truth is, you are the sole author of your life story. You see, we live in an orderly universe. The sun rises in the East every morning and sets in the West every night; gravity is a consistent, not whimsical, force. We are a part of – and not apart from – the universe’s natural order. In other words, either we control our lives, or we don’t. Either nothing is an accident, or everything is an accident.
Have you accepted responsibility for your life? Have you claimed the power and the privilege to control your destiny? If you haven’t, then you’re harboring a false belief about the way life works. You’re surrendering self-responsibility to whatever outside forces you believe are in control.
Take My Power….Please!
“Take my wife….please!” It’s an old joke.
People seem equally eager to give away the power to control their life, and that’s no joke. They find many ways to release personal responsibility. “I’m a victim of my past,” is a lament I frequently hear. When you accept this negative belief, you empower past experiences with an undeserved energy to create future havoc. And you miss a very important point: You are meant to learn from the past, not to allow yourself to be controlled by it.
One major purpose in life is to develop self-knowledge through experience, replacing the beliefs that limited past achievement with attitudes that will form a more perfect tomorrow. Your power to become the person you want to be, living the life you desire is in the present, and this power should be increased, not diminished, by what you’ve learned from past experiences – both good and bad. You aren’t a victim of your past, unless you believe you are.
“I must have been awful in a past life, because I’m sure paying for it now!” It’s amazing and distressing how often I hear this kind of self-indictment from people who consider themselves “spiritually aware.” Even more dangerous than surrendering control of your life to past experiences is accepting the false belief that past-life transgressions are causing your present challenges.
Karma represents the sum total of your experiences. It indicates fortuitous directions for personal growth and development. Karma doesn’t imply punishment, nor does it dictate current events. You aren’t a cosmic prisoner serving time for the crimes of some past life you probably don’t remember. The universe doesn’t judge and sentence anyone. Karma doesn’t unfringe upon your free will. Your life isn’t controlled by a karmic debt from this, or any, lifetime – unless you believe that it is.
A Re-Creating Your Self Thought: I was my first, and possibly, most difficult, student. Because I was capable of re-creating my self, I’m certain that you can re-create your self.
Far too many times, I hear something such as this from a Re-Creating Your Self reader or student: “I just can’t control my temper! `I’m always getting into arguments and fights, then, later, I feel terrible. But what can I do? I’m Aries, the Ram. Aries people are naturally angry, stubborn. We’re always ‘butting heads’ with others, especially with other Aries. So moaned a student who believed that his experiences were determined, now and forever, by a zodiacal sign. He was all too eager to absolve himself of control over his life.
A belief in astrology, as it is most commonly understood, can be just another way of saying, “Take my power…please!” But the belief that your life is charted by the positions and movements of heavenly bodies is jus that – a belief – and a false and self-limiting one at that. It’s not an irrevocable fact of life. Prove it for your self by opening a newspaper and reading your daily horoscope for a week, or by meeting one of the many Aries people who are peaceful and good-natured, not angry and quarrelsome. Your life is not controlled by the stars, unless you believe it is.
“My boyfriend’s negativity is creating bad experiences in my life,” confided a student. Five minutes earlier, she had laughed smugly, chiding people who blamed karma or the stars for the less than satisfactory conditions of their lives. Yet here she was blaming her bad experiences on her boyfriend’s perceived negativity. “He’s really powerful and strong-willed, like a Svengali,” she continued. “I just can’t resist doing whatever he asks.”
If someone is controlling you, it’s only because you have, on some level, willingly surrendered control. Either verbally or telepathically, you have told that person, “Take my power…please!” Your life is not controlled by others, unless you believe it is.
To whom, or to what, are you saying, “Take my power…please?!” Have you ever said something like this: “God willing, I’ll get that job,” or, “I’ll get well, if it’s God’s will.” Your life is no more controlled by God than by any other external force. If you believe in a Supreme Being, then understand: It’s God’s will for you to use the free will that S/He gave you. To do otherwise is to throw that precious gift back in God’s Face. Not recommended. When you believe that God manipulates and controls you, then you are diminishing the Supreme Being to little more than a Cosmic Buttinsky. Your life isn’t controlled by a controlling, punishing God unless you believe it is. And the same goes for the Devil: The simple truth is, He didn’t make you do it.
Once again, I’m here to tell you, you and you alone have the power, the privilege and the responsibility to control your life. Are you willing to accept this power, privilege and responsibility? Or do you feel the need to burden God, or some other external force, with a responsibility that is naturally your own?
A Re-Creating Your Self Thought: To whom, or to what, are you saying, “Take my power…please?!” More importantly, why do you want to hand over the responsibility for your life and all of its conditions to someone, or to some thing, other than your self? These are critical questions and I hope you will take time to meditate upon the answers within your self.
When I ask students, or readers of the book, to ponder these questions, I most frequently hear something such as this in response to the question, “Why do you want to hand over the responsibility for your life to someone, or to some thing, else?”
“It’s too much responsibility for me to admit that I’m controlling my life and all of its conditions. When things go wrong, it’s good to tell family and friends, ‘Well, “this” or “that” was out of my control.’”
Re-Creating Your Self By Christopher Stone