Daily Archives: October 14, 2014

Every one of us has an irrational/destructive emotional side to our personality.


Every one of us has an irrational and destructive emotional side to our personality. This dark side can sabotage your relationship in an insidious way.

Below are the most common characteristics of what Dr. Phil calls “bad spirits,” and how they can impact a relationship.

You’re a Scorekeeper
Competing can quickly turn a relationship into an ugly battle of one-upmanship. How can you possibly be a winner if it is at the expense of making the person you supposedly love a loser? Solid relationships are built on sacrifice and caring, not power and control. Competitiveness can drain the joy, confidence and productivity out of any relationship.

You’re a Fault-finder 
There is nothing wrong with constructive criticism if it is designed to improve the relationship. But it can often give way to constant faultfinding — in which you obsess over the flaws and imperfections rather than find value in your partner. Get off your partner’s back and you may see your partner moving toward you. 

You Think It’s Your Way or the Highway
If you’ve always got to be right, then you’re ready to fight till the end. No truer words were ever spoken, says Dr. Phil; you will fight to the end…the end of your relationship. You can’t be self-righteous or obsessed with control and do what’s best for the relationship at the same time.

You Turn Into an Attack Dog
When you get in an argument, do you have a killer stare, a harsh tone and hurtful words? Attack dogs may experience short-term gain, but the target of the abuse becomes filled with bitterness and resentment. While it’s easy to fall into viciousness, it’s much harder to repair the resulting consequences. 

You are a Passive Warmonger
Instead of fault-finding or engaging in character assassination, these toxic partners try to thwart their partner by constantly doing that which they deny they are doing — in such an indirect way as to escape accountability if they are confronted. A passive aggressive person is as much of an overbearing controller as the most aggressive, in-your-face person you could imagine — only they do it insidiously and underhandedly. 

You Resort to Smoke and Mirrors
Because you lack the courage to get real about what is driving the pain and problems in your relationship, you criticize your partner about one thing when you’re really upset about another. What is real never gets voiced, and what gets voiced is never real. The real issues will eventually burst forth in a torrid way.

You Will Not Forgive
When you choose to bear anger at your partner, you trap yourself in pain and agony — and the negative energy can crowd every other feeling out of your heart. If you wallow in resentment and refuse to forgive and move on, you will tear up your own life and your relationship. You can’t change the past but you can deal with the resulting feelings and hurt by truly forgiving. 

You Are the Bottomless Pit
Are you so needy that you constantly undermine your chances of success? Can you never get enough satisfaction, love, attention or appreciation? Your partner will be frustrated by never seeming able to “fill you up.” We all want reassurance, but an insatiable appetite for it never gives your partner any rest. Free yourself from the internalized sense of inadequacy, and find other ways to feel your self-worth and value.

You’re Too Comfortable
If you’re in a comfort zone, you are failing to meet your responsibilities in the relationship. You aren’t contributing, you aren’t stimulating, and you aren’t energizing. If you don’t make a move, it becomes easier and easier to stagnate.

You’ve Given Up
When so many bad spirits crowd your life, you cannot imagine there being any way out. You become so forlorn, lonely, isolated, negative, cynical and far from your core of consciousness that you believe you are trapped. Be strong enough to confront your problems instead of giving up. 


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Most of us have an inherent need to feel accepted and recognized by others. Even the most introvert and unassuming person want to feel that he or she is someone special for somebody. Go to any playground and watch toddlers in action. Observe what they do to get the attention of their fellow toddlers. They often, bribe, sulk and fight for the attention of other toddlers. They sometimes try and kiss, smile or talk their way into the heart of a fellow toddler. It sometimes happens that they feel that more dramatic and drastic attention arousal methods would have the desired results. A swift shot on the ear with a heavy toy often does the trick when more subtle methods failed.


People of all ages also do the most amazing things in an attempt to get recognition and acceptance. Just like the toddler example above they also often sulk, fight or cry for attention. I have seen men the size of mountains that become like marshmallows when they fall in love or when they want someone close to their heart to tell them that they mean something special to them. Most of us need to feel that we are someone special to the people that are linked to us in the game of life. We all still have a child in our heart that begs for recognition and attention. We often play-act that we are totally independent, but deep inside we yearn for recognition, acceptance and a feeling that we are special. Even the homeless people on the street want dignity and respect from society. They might be down on their luck, but deep inside under the layers of dirt they still yearn to be someone special.


If you want to exert strong influence on others you will have to keep this in mind. Treat people as if they are someone special and you will be amazed how you will make their day.



All of us need some form of recognition and acceptance. We might have a history of failures and disasters, but deep inside the flame of being special to someone continues to flicker in the dark recesses of our minds. If you can understand this inherent need of people, you will select your words with much more care. You will take your own priorities out of the way for a while and rather focus on the dreams and aspirations of the people that share your journey on spaceship earth. Acceptance costs nothing and can be passed on with unbridled abundance. I have seen people that are seriously overweight that yearn for acceptance. They feel that they are a person with similar feelings like everybody else under the layers of fat. They cry for acceptance notwithstanding their problem, but are usually shunned by most people. They also want to feel special to others, but often bear the brunt of people with a warped sense of morality. I have seen the elderly treated like dirt by even their own family members. Because they have reached an advanced age does not mean that they are useless and stripped of their self-worth. You can become a motivator and exert a strong influence if you can learn to look underneath the surface and see if you can discover the real person hidden by his or her own history of fear and rejection. The old and the young seem to have one thing in common and that is the desire to feel that they are special to someone.




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Eye Test for the guys – Can you see the tower marked with a red arrow?


Can you see the tower marked with a red arrow?


eye test tower illusion Eye Test  Hidden Towerhidden object


If you can see the tower then your eyes are fine


Stress Test level with illusion


illusion quotes Stress Test level with illusion visual optical illusions Stress Test illusion picture exam

If you want to know your stress level

lets try this Stress Test level


Focus on the Red Dot and give us a like if the blue circle disappeared.

if you are under stress it will be difficult to lose the blue circle Because you can not focus

This is a practical demonstration of the word ‘focus’; when you focus on a thing, the remaining thoughts and objects should disappear.




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The black dot that can change your life. – We will in time evolve/understand how we are connected to everything/universe.




The black dot that can change your life

I want you to visualise a black dot on a blank page. Look at this black dot for a moment then draw a circle around the black dot about three inches away. You now have a black dot sitting in the middle of an enclosed circle. Stop for a moment and visualise this image in your mind. Now write next to the black dot – ME.


Close your eyes again and see this extended image in your mind’s eye. Now think of some of the people that are directly connected to you and draw a black dot within the circle. Put the name of the person next to his/her black dot. Now proceed to enter more dots for other individuals that you deem connected to you and add their names to the dot you allocated to him/her. You can stop once you reached ten individuals. Now close your eyes again and visualise your black dot in the middle of the circle and the other black dots that represent those that you decided are connected to you. It can be family, friends etc.


Please note that being connected does not mean that you are currently in a good standing with those you selected. There might be certain of your dots that you deem connected to you that you currently dislike or that you might not even miss if they could be erased from your picture.


Did you know that the black dot that you think represents you contain all the perceptions you hold about yourself. Every belief system and perception you formed since early childhood collectively make up who you think you are. Close your eyes for a moment and see yourself in your mind’s eye standing in the middle of this massive playing field surrounded by the images of those that you chose that are connected to you. See your physical body looking at the other black dots that now also took on the images of the individuals that you entered earlier. Some of them might be positioned fairly close to you while others are standing further away scattered over the playing field.



Try and focus on a black dot (you)


You have been conditioned since early childhood that you are your body and your history. I mentioned earlier that you have an endless range of perceptions that you made up about who you are as the years slipped by. The same holds true about all those that you are connected to. Every single person came to exactly the same conclusion about themselves and formed their own unique perceptions about an endless range of subjects.


I can guarantee you that not a single person on your chart have exactly the same perception about anything. Each individual will see religion, race, politics, sex, history etc. from different perspectives. Close your eyes again and visualise how you are surrounded with a number of individuals that might be connected to you, but that could be on a very different page about a wide range of subjects.


You are now ready to draw an additional circle around those that you are connected to. You now have two circles that surround the dot that represent you. You can place a large number of dots in this part of the circle because it will represent the many millions of people on this planet. Close your eyes and visualise this mass of people that are fellow travellers on space ship earth. Notice that each one of the millions has their own perception about who they think they are and about everything that they encountered since early childhood. You have different nationalities, races, nations, etc. that populate this zone on your playing field.


Now draw another circle around them as well. You are now in the middle surrounded with those that are connected to you and the millions that populate the next zone on your chart. Now write the word God a few places in the outer circle. The fact of the matter is that every person represented on this chart has their own unique perception about God. You have your own perception, but so do every other dot (person) on your chart. You might think that it stands to reason that huge numbers of those might belong to a specific church or movement and will thus have a similar God perception. (Christians, Muslims etc.) You will find that not a single person on your chart notwithstanding his/her religious convictions have a similar perception of God. Close your eyes and view the massive number of people on your chart, you included and how everyone is reaching out to God.


You can replace God with any other subject matter (politics, race, food, money etc.) and will discover that each individual on the chart of life have their own convictions and perceptions about the selected subject matter. It is a fallacy to think that we will reach a point in our history where everyone has the same perceptions on anything. It is thus futile to think that you have ownership about the “truth” about anything. I think it is safe to say that not a single person should at any stage conclude that his/her perception about any subject matter is the only valid argument.


We, the seven billion plus living entities on this rock in the universe are arrogant to the extreme. It is horrific to think how many wars were fought and how many millions died in the name of a specific religious or political conviction. It is crazy to think that your specific deity is the only path to some kind of afterlife where you will experience peace of mind and bliss forever and ever. Your deity is just a perception and cannot weigh more than any other person’s or groups perception as illustrated in this article. Close your eyes and view how certain individuals and groups attempt to convince the other players on your chart about their specific point of view. See how they use fear, guilt and force in their attempt to convince others that they are the only “intelligent” players on your chart. Look at their vindictiveness and the cunning methods they use in their effort to convince others of their point of view.


My dear friend you should by now grasp that nobody owns the “truth” about anything. The sooner all of us on this chart learn to accept each other unconditionally notwithstanding our convictions the quicker peace and prosperity will begin to fill our chart of life. We must treat others with love, patience and compassion. A person’s perceptions and beliefs should not become an issue that cause friction and disharmony. We are for some mystical reason on this rock in the universe and will in time evolve and understand how we are connected to everything in the universe.



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