Daily Archives: October 17, 2014

Never be bullied by other peoples’ demands or opinions of you. Forget your story/whatever “reality” you think you’re stuck in.




The television reporter grabbed his videocamera and headed for the front door of our 97-year-old men’s clothing store. “Give me a couple of minutes to set up,” he said. “Then I’ll signal to let you know when you can turn the lights out on the sign.”



As the door closed behind him, my husband Steve and I looked around. Our Going Out of Business sale was over. Our third-generation store was about to move into the history books of our Midwestern town. We had been in this business for more than half our lives as owners, and my husband had been helping in the family store since he was a child. His grandfather had started it; his father had grown it; we had once thrived in it, and now we were closing it forever.


I expected to feel sad, or at least wistful. But for some reason, the part of me that I was leaving behind as the doors closed was one I was happy to give up. I looked around at the carnage of the sale and felt no regrets. No tears welled up; no chill ran down my spine.


Just years before, I had heard speaker Rosita Perez say there are seven words that will change your life: “When the horse is dead, get off.” This horse had been dead for years, and we had actually been dragging it along as we tried to move forward. As you can imagine, we weren’t going very far or fast doing that.


Although there were numerous reasons in the marketplace for why our business had declined, the real one is that neither my husband Steve nor I had our heart in it. Whatever creative energy we had once felt for it was gone. Instead, each of our work souls had found a new mate: his in photography; mine in showing others how to access new levels of energy and power. The store had not only become a drag on our time and finances; it was holding us back from being all we knew we could be.


Still, it took us 10 years from the time we made the decision to the actual closing of the store. We had all kinds of reasons for our slowness. Our kids needed to graduate from high school. His father wouldn’t approve. We hadn’t paid off all its debts. We didn’t have any other reliable source of income. But the real reason was that we didn’t know who we’d be without it. In spite of the fact that we didn’t like who we were with it—negative, scared, angry people—we had a hard time imagining ourselves as happy or whole without it. It wasn’t so much that the townspeople couldn’t imagine us without it; it was that we couldn’t. Whenever we thought “this is the year,” we found ourselves seized with fear and what came out was, “Maybe next year.”


Finally, we realized that we weren’t just losing money or time. It was our spirits that were running out. Every bit of joy we were finding in our other pursuits was being tempered by a “yes, but…” An edginess pervaded all of our conversations. Our first reactions to any topic were cynical or negative. We used the word “but” all the time. So it was clear that if the horse wasn’t dying, we were, at least spiritually.


So in spite of the store’s unresolved problems and in spite of not having our own ducks clearly in a new row, we let it go. I wasn’t sure what lay ahead, but I did know that I would never discover it if I was always looking behind me.


We were both going with the only things we did know. We knew we wanted to be happy. We knew we wanted every day to be satisfying. We knew that there were subjects we wanted to know more about. We knew there were people who would be fun to get to know. And we finally knew that it didn’t matter what other people thought about what we were doing, including his father.


So I decided to add on 3 more words that will change your life to Rosita’s original seven:


 “Be your Self.”


I recently read a great line that said, “When they say ‘be true to yourself,’ which self do they mean?” For what I learned in our store experience is that in all the years I was resisting closing it, I was listening to my small, scared self (little s), the one that some people call the ego. The one that regretted all my mistakes of the past and was terrified about the future


My true Self had no such doubts or fears. That’s the one I heard when my stomach wasn’t in knots. The one that tossed just enough coincidences my way to convince me that we were on the right track. The one that didn’t have any questions at all about what was right or wrong for me and us.



When we tried to run the store while pursuing our other passions, we were listening to both selves. And you can’t be both positive and negative at the same time. It had to be one or the other, So we took a quantum leap and chose happiness, even though we weren’t sure how things would ultimately work out.


I would love to tell you that we’re living happily ever after, but that’s not accurate. We are just living happily, day by day, not in spite of or because of anything, but just because we now know that no other approach works. We still have no idea at all about how some of our legal and financial issues will resolve. But this we do know: We have told ourselves, and the universe, that we’re ready to be happy by releasing our fear and unhappiness. And since we did that, both of our phones have been ringing with offers.


There’s a great line in the movie “The Natural” that Robert Redford says to Glenn Close. “There’s the life you learn with, and then the life you live after that.”


The life I’m living now is using what I learned, which includes: never be bullied by other peoples’ demands or opinions of you. Never let money be a reason that you do or don’t do anything. Forget your story, and whatever “reality” you think you’re stuck in. Don’t waste a single day of your life being unhappy. Listen to your gut. Acknowledge when you feel peaceful, and let go of anything or anyone that doesn’t make you feel that way. Wake up and be conscious of what you’re thinking, saying and doing so that you don’t create any more unhappiness for yourself. Accept conditions as they are, and then decide what you want to do about them. But mostly, be true to your Self, the higher self that comes forward when you’re not looking anywhere but here.


I didn’t need to wait to see the store’s sign lights go out. I had already turned my back on them, and was turned towards the light of my own heart. I just wish I had done it sooner.

I grabbed my purse and coat, gave Steve a quick kiss and said, “See you at home,” and turned towards the door. I knew that the whole world was waiting on the other side.


Robin L. Silverman        


By Robin L. Silverman

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Posted by on October 17, 2014 in WISDOM


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We rarely hear about the struggles and failures of the world’s most successful people.





We always hear the success stories but we rarely hear about the struggles and failures of the world’s most successful people. Here then, are 26 famous winners who started with a whimper.


1. Winston Churchill failed the sixth grade. He was defeated in every public office role he ran for. Then he became the British prime minister at the age of 62. 

2. Thomas Edison’s teachers told him he was “too stupid to learn anything.” Edison also famously invented 1,000 light bulbs before creating one that worked. 

3.Harland David Sanders, the famous KFC “Colonel,” couldn’t sell his chicken. More than 1,000 restaurants rejected him. But then one did, and today there are KFC restaurants bearing his image all over the world. 

4. R.H. Macy had a history failing businesses, including a dud Macy’s in NYC. But Macy kept up the hard work and ended up with the biggest department store in the world. 

5. Steven Spielberg was rejected from his dream school, the University of Southern California, three times. He sought out an education somewhere else and dropped out to be a director. 

6. Charlie Chaplin’s act was rejected by executives because they thought it was too obscure for people to understand. But then they took a chance on Chaplin, who went on to become America’s first bona fide movie star.

7. Marilyn Monroe’s first contract with Columbia Pictures expired because they told her she wasn’t pretty or talented enough to be an actress.

8. Soichiro Honda was passed over for an engineering job at Toyota and left unemployed. But then he began making motorcycles, started a business and became a billionaire. 

9. Vera Wang failed to make the U.S. Olympic figure-skating team. Then she became an editor at Vogue and was passed over for the editor-in-chief position. She began designing wedding gowns at 40 and today is the premier designer in the business, with a multi-billion dollar industry. 

10. Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper editor because he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas.” Several more of his businesses failed before the premiere of his movie Snow White. Today, most childhoods wouldn’t be the same without his ideas.

11. Albert Einstein didn’t speak until age four and didn’t read until age seven. His teachers labeled him “slow” and “mentally handicapped.” But Einstein just had a different way of thinking. He later won the Nobel prize in physics.

12. Charles Darwin was considered an average student. He gave up on a career in medicine and was going to school to become a parson. But as Darwin studied nature, he found his calling. 

13. Sir Isaac Newton was tasked with running the family farm but was a miserable failure. Newton was sent off to Cambridge University and became a physics scholar. 

14. Dick Cheney flunked out of Yale twice. George W. Bush once joked: “So now we know –if you graduate from Yale, you become president. If you drop out, you get to be vice president.”

15. The first time Jerry Seinfeld went onstage, he was booed away by the jeering crowd. Eventually, he became a famous comic with one of the most-loved sitcoms ever. 

16. In Fred Astaire’s first screen test, the judges wrote: “Can’t act. Can’t sing. Slightly bald. Can dance a little.” Astaire went on to be the most famous dancer of all time and won the hearts of American women forever.

17. After Sidney Poitier’s first audition, the casting director instructed him to just stop wasting everyone’s time and “go be a dishwasher or something.” He went on to win an Academy Award and is admired by actors everywhere.

18. Oprah Winfrey was fired from her television reporting job because they told her she wasn’t fit to be on screen. But Winfrey rebounded and became the undisputed queen of television talk shows. She’s also a billionaire.

19. Lucille Ball spent many years on the B-list and her agent told her to pursue a new career. Then she got her big break on I Love Lucy.

20. After his first film, Harrison Ford underwhelmed the producer and was told he would probably never succeed. But today Ford is the third highest-grossing actor of all time.

21. Vincent Van Gogh only sold one painting in his entire life, to a friend. He sometimes starved in order to create the 800 paintings he’d eventually do. Today, his works are priceless.

22. Dr. Seuss’ first book was rejected by 27 different publishers. He’s now the most popular children’s book author ever.

23. Henry Ford’s first auto company went out of business. He abandoned a second because of a fight and a third went downhill because of declining sales. He went on to become one of the greatest American entrepreneurs ever. 

24. While developing his vacuum, Sir James Dyson went through 5,126 failed prototypes and his savings over 15 years. But the 5,127th prototype worked and now the Dyson brand is the best-selling vacuum cleaner in the United States.

25. J.K. Rowling was unemployed, divorced and raising a daughter on social security while writing the first Harry Potter novel. J.K. Rowling is now internationally renowned for her 7 book Harry Potter series and is the first person to become a billionaire from writing.

26. Stephen King was initially so frustrated with his first novel, Carrie that he threw it in the trash. King’s wife found the manuscript in the trash and took it out. To date his 49 novels have sold 350 million copies.

Source: MindTrip Magazine


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Posted by on October 17, 2014 in WISDOM


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Most of our reactions are silly, a waste of time and meaningless.



When we detect something via one or more of our five senses “it is what it is” until we make up our mind what we are going to make of it and what we are going to do about it. Its status remains neutral until we “respond” to the event detected of that we possibly thought of.


Example – someone said something that and we proceed to lodge it in the “process pending” file in our subconscious computer. No rational and objective reaction can take place until we hit the process button. At this stage we only have unqualified raw data in our mental “in box”. We are most probably composed and don’t feel sad, angry, upset or rejected. We continue to sustain our “current” mood. It is only after we begin to process the input received that we detect a change in our mood. It is only after we filtered and judged the “input” that our brains release the appropriate chemical cocktail into our blood that it deem appropriate to the task at hand. This is when we begin to experience elation, anger, joy, sadness or frustration. We also then received a “spontaneously” action plan as part of the reaction protocol. Can you see that nothing happened until we pushed the process button? Let us look at a few examples of input that most of us experience often.


We are late for work. We think suddenly conclude that there is a conspiracy against us. We woke up to the fact that most robots are either out of commission or red.


Our partner makes a negative comment about a mistake that he/she perceived we made.


We receive a final request for payment of something we bought in a moment of possible “insanity”.


We read that there is a child dying of poor water quality in Africa every minute.


We hear on the news that our crime rate achieved new horrific record levels.


We see on the news that Malema outperformed himself at a political meeting with a new harebrain idea how even more funds can be extracted from those that he deem financially affluent.




ONE – Accept “what is”. Do not send the input for processing to the processing part of the mind.


TWO – Ensure that you fully understand the INPUT that you are confronted with. Ask question, and do proper research.


THREE – Now send this data to your conscious mind for processing.




What many of us fail to grasp is that there is no rule or valid reason to respond or react until you feel ready to deal with a task at hand. The best responds is often to not to do or say anything and remain detached emotionally. A series of out of order robots must be accepted as something that we can do absolutely nothing about. It will be silly and a total waste of energy to react like a mad man every time you are confronted with a red or defective robot. The outcome of such behaviour could produce a totally unacceptable outcome and can result in your getting arrested for road-rage. The same holds true with most of the examples that I provided earlier. Most of our reactions are silly, a waste of time and meaningless. We in a moment of insanity bought something that now put us under serious pressure. How will massive feeling a guilt, fear and anxiety make this problem go away?




Most of us have a tendency to write a whole script around everything unacceptable that we are faced with. We become the main actor on the stage in our heads. We to top it all also play the role of a victim in these dramas. Most problems that we are faced with can be resolved if we learn to cut out the drama part of our processing.




Accept what is – Don’t go into a “why me” mode. Don’t moan and fret while you think what could or should have been. Accept the current situations and deal with in when you are composed and have valid data to work with.


Accept that most of the stuff that we perceive as a crisis is silly and should not even be processed. Malema said something that you deem a threat. Understand that there is nothing you can do to modify or change what he said. All you are going to achieve is to mess up your blood pleasure and flirt with a heart attack.


Just observe what was said in a detached manner. Don’t make what was said good or bad or right or wrong. Become a dethatched observer and look at the whole silly game the same way you will observe a tree that you pass on your way home. All you see is a tree. You have no specific opinions about the tree. You allow the tree to enter your field of vision and allow it to leave your field of vision without thinking or making up stories about this tree. It is our reactions that provide the power to most of the stuff that we are faced with.


The earth will remain stable on it axis and the sky will not fall if you OBSERVE all input in a detached manner. Refrain from attaching any emotions good or bad to any input. You take back your power when you accept “what is” and stop processing every event as if your life depended on it. It is your ego that is causing most of the shit that you are faced with daily. Your ego must always react to everything and everyone. Your ego is the one that drag you through an endless range of unpleasant emotions and experienced daily.


The question that you need to ask yourself is, “Do I want to win or do I want to be happy?” Allow yourself to float downstream. Stop swimming upstream in an attempt to pacify your ego’s desire to retain control or take control.


This does not mean that I expect you to become a bowl of jelly. I repeat that we must “accept what is and observe “what is” in an objective and relaxed manner without saying or doing the first thing that comes to mind. Only take action when you are composed and have solid and valid data to work with.





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Simplify your life – Play the game of life straight down the line.





When you look around you today after you read this thought you might see things in people that you never detected before. I am going to remove a misconception that has been blinding you for the best part of your life. If you want to remain in your previous hypnotic state I suggest that you stop reading right now.


Most people, yes even family are often takers and can be labelled as “something for nothing” players. The next time a person turn on the charm or laughs for an old stale joke told by you, you should ask yourself the following. “What benefit does this person want to extract from me?” Most people today are not really interested in you or your well being. They tolerate you, befriend you, visit you not to enjoy your company, but rather for what they can extract from you.

They often first try to get whatever you have on offer for free. If all the charm, sulking or even faked friendship fail to do the trick they often revert to subtle or not so subtle emotional blackmail. I have seen these rituals many times in my life.

Some people call it a “deal” I simply call it greed. Most people want instant success, wealth, growth and careers today. Very few people are prepared to pay the price in full for their hopes and dreams. They feel they achieved some kind of victory if they can get you to pay for their dreams and aspirations.

Their friendships are often an empty and worthless network of members that parasite on each other. Their fake smiles and role played compassion is just as devoid of true feelings than the hart of a prostitute. Look around you and see if you can detect the good weather friends that sip your whisky and frequent your parties. If you blindly take people at face value you are setting yourself up for failure. See people for what they are and stop hoping for true relationships that are built on trust and integrity.


People that exert a positive influence are usually deeply interested in people. They always strive for a win-win deal with everybody they meet. They do not fake their way to success or manipulate people and set them up for a clever sting operation later. They love it when everybody gets a fair deal and share equally in what is on offer.

They speak their mind. If they feel upset by something you said or did, they tell you and not your neighbour. If they give you their hand in friendship, you can actually bargain on their loyalty. Many people do not like them because they feel threatened by them. They know they can see through their games and tricks. They do not like their direct approach and hate their honesty.

They may not sit in the front row in church on Sundays, but they often have more spirituality in their little finger than the “something for nothing” fakes in their whole body. Simplify your life and play the game of life straight down the line. You might not be selected as “Actor of the year”, but you will at least keep your dignity and self-esteem in tact. People with honest intentions and integrity are as rare as virgins in a brothel.





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