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Daily Archives: September 1, 2015

There is always more than one side to a story.

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Funk & Wagnalls Standard Desk Dictionary – definition of the word, trust as (trust) n. A confidence in the reliability of persons or things without careful investigation.

Trust is something that we strive for in our relationships with people and in certain things. Trust gives us a feeling of comfort and security when we express feelings and concerns about our situations. It starts out as a child; we know nothing other than to trust our parents or guardians to keep us happy, fed, cuddled and safe from the “BoogeyMan.”

While growing up, we never consider the thought of losing trust in our friends and family members as they are the ones’ who we have spent many hours of building fond memories; ones that will carry us into our adult years, giving us so much to share with our children.

Being trustworthy is a positive characteristic that should be worn as a badge of honor. It is good to know that you can be trusted. It is good to know that you can trust another.

We live our lives giving and accepting trustworthy advice from not only our friends and family but from other people such as our doctors, bankers, educators and even our repairmen hoping for the most honest opinion and correct information regarding our circumstances and well being.

It is also something that truly has to start from within; know that you can be a good friend or advice giver to someone who is in need. Give unconditionally, your time and effort without it being confused with naivety.

Speak less of what you may not know about. Be a good listener.

When you are involved in a situation that may be good, bad or indifferent, be aware of what you say and to whom you say it to. Your words can be misconstrued and turned into a realm of lies and deceit.

But when that level of trust is cut down by a person or state of affairs, we are then given a reason to lower our expectations, cause doubt, build walls and blur our vision of the things that really matter. It has been said that there is a reason for everything. And a few of the reasons that someone will do something to another is because of hidden resentment, false pride, fear, greed, selfishness and lack of confidence in that person, situation or themselves.

Give others the benefit of doubt.

Allow people to make mistakes and admit to them. It is the one who does not admit to their poor actions and who falsely accuse others of the things they know they have done, that need to be condemned. And for that they can not be trusted.

There is always more than one side to a story and out of the two there is definitely one that is the truth.

There are times that a person or situation may cause you to lose trust if so, before it destroys a good thing, hear what has to be said, listen with your heart and mind and if you are involved in any way, accept your position without conviction. Be accountable for your actions. Never deny your involvement. Say what you need to say. Getting things out in the open, will hopefully keep the right doors open for healthy relations with others. It is a matter of trust.

Have faith that all will be reconciled. Move on and if not, one thing is for sure, as we live our lives and deal with people and circumstances there are things that are going to happen that may cause us hardship and despair, work it out for the better or worse. It truly can or may not be as bad as it seems, if so try to accept that “Pobodys’ Nerfect” (Nobodys’ Perfect, even so) remember that as we continue to develop relationships with people, trust your personal thoughts, words and decisions. No one person has control over the responsibilities of another.

Trust, it is the one thing that develops over time but takes a minute to destroy.

Pay it forward.

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By: Etea24

Article Directoryhttp://www.articledashboard.com

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Posted by on September 1, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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I WILL DO THE THINGS I FEAR UNTIL IT LOSES ITS HOLD ON MY MIND!

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WHAT PAIN OR PLEASURE WE LINK TO SITUATIONS AND PEOPLE DETERMINES HOW WE ACT AND REACT TO THEM. WE CANNOT ACT IN A MANNER THAT PROVOKES PAIN IN PEOPLE AND EXPECT RESPECT, LOVE AND COMPASSION FROM THEM!

 

People move towards pleasure provoking experiences and away from pain provoking experiences. They move towards people that make them feel good and away from people that make them feel worthless and defective. This law must always be kept in mind if you want to influence people in a positive manner.

It will be idiotic to constantly say and do things that cause somebody pain and expect loyalty and dedication from such person. How can you kick a person in the teeth and expect him or her to love and respect you. We might not always physically kick people, but some of the things we do, fail to do or say often cause more pain than a kick in the teeth.

 

Everything you do or refrain from doing is governed by your perception you have of such event. If you for example find it difficult to motivate yourself to do something that you know need to be done you will find “potential pain avoidance” at the root of you resistance. We usually select the potential pleasure route in all our actions and decisions. If we have any idea that we might be exposed to potentially pain we try our level best avoid such contacts.

Just think for a moment about this principle. When you see or think of certain people what reaction do they evoke in you? If a person activates any level of discomfort in you, you will always react and respond accordingly. An opinion is formed quickly and usually takes years to modify. Most people lives their live according to this law or principal. Once they formed a perception about something or someone it takes a massive jolt to dislodge perceptions. Because we are pleasure seeking entities we tend to run on tracks for the best part of our lives. We thus get stuck in a pattern and will continue to follow this path until the day we expire.

 

Leaders and champions are bold enough to break these patterns and confront their fears. They know that mediocre and substandard performances are caused by the avoidance of potential pain. You can never grow, learn and win while you remain in your comfort zone. It is only when you go beyond your comfort threshold that progress can be made.

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I WILL BECOME OUTCOME FOCUSED TODAY. I WILL DO THE THINGS I FEAR UNTIL IT LOSES ITS HOLD ON MY MIND!

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We often know what we need or want in life, but we hardly ever do something about it. The main reason for this is because we amplify the potential pain so much that it outweighs the potential pleasure that reaching our goal would provide us.

If you want to stop smoking or lose weight you have to make your perceived “outcome” so exciting and pleasure provoking that it will make the effort that will be needed to work through the potential pain part less dominant. You will never reach your desired objective while the fear of the pain outweighs the potential pleasure of the outcome. It is thus imperative that you desire your outcome more than the obstacle that you may encounter along the way. Only when you become excited and motivated about your outcome will you have enough staying power to hang in until the objective (pleasure) is achieved.

 

If you want to become influential, you will have to learn to use this law to your advantage. You will make it easy for people to be with you and do business with you. You will say and do things that will activate expectations of potential pleasure not pain. All your actions and reactions must show people that you respect their point of view and that you are there to help them to achieve their own objectives. Always remember that most people you deal with are running on preconceived tracks or perceptions.

 

Rene

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Assertiveness – When you Don’t get personal/over-emotional when you feel your rights are being violated.

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The feeling of personal power is key in all interpersonal relationships. Many people are not very clear about what assertiveness is and how it differs from aggressiveness. One main difference is that aggressiveness is about power over other people, while assertiveness is about being able to assert our rights and stand up for our thoughts and feelings while respecting the rights, thoughts and feelings of others.

 

Passive people habitually submit to other people’s dominance play, do not have clear boundaries, and are constantly being invaded by others. They tend to avoid conflict by not expressing their thoughts and feelings, avoid any sort of confrontations even when their basic rights are involved, which leaves them feeling – and being – victimized. At the same time, anger builds up in them, so when they do speak up, they tend to do it in an aggressive, attacking and blaming way rather than a constructive, solution-oriented, assertive way.

 

Aggressive people, on the other hand, attempt to impose their will on others, do not respect other people’s boundaries and are invasive and coercive. Aggressive people may get their way with some people at first, but in the long-run they alienate others, create a lot of stress in their social, family and work environment, experience a lot of failures in all interpersonal relationships and end up having no social support and feeling isolated and victimized themselves.

 

Somewhere in the middle stands assertiveness which is a way of communicating and behaving that respects the rights of all relationship partners. Assertiveness requires honesty, directness, self-confidence, knowing what your rights are and being able to defend them in positive, constructive ways. Learning to act more assertively will increase your sense of efficacy, of having an impact on your environment, your chances of having honest, straight-forward relationships, your chances of getting your needs met, will improve your ability to make your own decisions and get more satisfaction out of life.

 

Assertiveness is based on two important traits: relatively good self-confidence and good communication skills.

 

Self-confidence is built through our experience of effectiveness in the world. This effectiveness can be measured in many areas of experience, like academic or professional achievement, physical or athletic abilities, social and personal relationships, etc. Self-confidence is built from the inside out, meaning that we don’t expect others to provide us with self-confidence but we build it by giving ourselves credit for our strengths, virtues and accomplishments.

 

Good communication skills involve being a good listener as well being a good speaker and being able to appraise a situation in a cool-headed, non-defensive or fearful manner . Assertive communicators have developed some specific skills for standing up and speaking up for themselves. They have fewer conflicts in their dealings with others, and their needs are more frequently met, so they feel happier and more in control of life situations. Most people desiring to become more assertive start from a passive behavioral baseline and require quite a bit of practice in assertive communication skills before they can see any change in the power balance between them and other people. So start slowly in the beginning, and gradually practice more and more assertive communication skills.

Here are a few tips on what communication skills you need to develop and practice:

 

Maintain eye contact when you are in a conversation. This way you communicate a self-confident and honest message.

Be specific and direct about what you want, think or feel. Practice making statements like “I want to..”, or “I think…”.

Learn to say “no”.

 

Use your body language to emphasize your words. When making a demand or a request, stand up straight and speak in a loud and clear voice.

 

Don’t get personal or over-emotional when you feel your rights are being violated. Comment on the person’s behavior rather than attacking the person. Use “I” statements, instead of “you” statements that sound like accusations. Feel free to say, “I don’t like it when you yell at me” or “I don’t appreciate not being treated fairly”. Asserting yourself this way balances the power between you and the other person. Once you comment on the inappropriate behavior, don’t forget to request the more appropriate behavior that you would like to take its place, like, “I would like you to be on time when we have a date”.

 

Learn to reward people for positive behavior and establish a positive cooperative spirit in all interpersonal relationships.

 

Choose the right time and the right place for resolving issues, making sure that the other person is emotionally willing to start a conversation. Otherwise, whatever you have to say may be forgotten or overlooked.

 

Express your opinions honestly and do not hesitate to have a different opinion from that of other people even if those people are significant to you or in a position of authority – you still are entitled to your own opinions. “Own” your message, acknowledging that you opinion comes from your own perception of the situation, and your own frame of reference. If no agreement can be found that respects the opinion of both parties, then you can “agree to disagree” on the specific issue.

 

Practice leadership skills like making overtures to other people, offering positive suggestions to peers and colleagues in a positive, friendly, cooperative spirit, and supporting your own opinions, suggestions and proposals with clear and convincing arguments.

 

Ask for feedback. Encourage others to be clear, direct and specific in their feedback to you. This way, many misunderstandings in the conversation can be easily resolved and you also convey the message that you equally respect the opinion, feelings and rights of others as much as you respect your own.

 

Reward yourself every time you manage to overcome your fears and habitual passive reactions and are able to formulate an assertive response, regardless of its effect on the other person or the situation.

 

The important thing is that you keep practicing and reinforcing your assertive communication skills, rather than your initial effectiveness. It may be a new way of communicating for you, so it may take some time before it feels natural, but the more you practice your assertive communication skills, the more confidence you will gain and you will find out that not only is it really easy, but it’s also very effective.

 

 

Ismini Apostoli

ALSO READ

https://eagleman6788.wordpress.com/2012/11/03/being-assertive-10-tips-for-personal-power/

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False sense of Security? Sanitizer may be less effective at protecting health/preventing the spread of disease than previously believed.

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glasses

 

Frequent hand washing, along with the use of effective sanitizer, is important for staying healthy. However, some studies have recently found that the use of sanitizer may be less effective at protecting health and preventing the spread of disease than previously believed. According to a “Sanitizer Alert” published in the November 2006 Journal of Environmental Health, some products marketed to the public as antimicrobial hand sanitizer are simply not effective in reducing bacterial counts on hands.

Prior to the alert, researchers purchased alcohol-based sanitizer with approximately 40% ethanol as the active ingredient at a local retail store. Although the sanitizer’ labels claimed that the products reduce germs and bacteria by nearly 100%, researchers reported that they “observed an apparent increase (emphasis added) in the concentration of bacteria in hand prints impressed on agar plates after cleansing [with sanitizer].”

 

Subsequent and more formal hand hygiene tests were conducted to verify – or disprove – the initial findings. The researchers observed similar results in the follow-up tests and concluded that alcohol-based sanitizer with less than 60 to 62% ethanol did not necessarily reduce – nor were they effective against – a variety of germs and bacteria.

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READ MORE ABOUT THIS IMPORTANT ISSUE SO OFTEN NEGLECTED

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Liquid Gloves have a built in ANTIBACTERIAL system with a sustained antibacterial action. Ordinary hygiene soaps often display an initial sanitising action but soon after it dried on your skin allow the recontamination cycle start up again when you touch contaminated surface. Liquid Gloves are different.  It continues protecting your skin for up to 7 hours and more. You wear the protective properties of this product like a glove. There remain a continuous germ/soil blocking shield on you hands.

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http://www.liquidgloves.co.za/index.html

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