Daily Archives: September 7, 2015

Do you Love your Husband?

holding hands


A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband.

The women were asked, “How many of you love your husband?”

All the women raised their hands.

Then they were asked, “When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?”

Some women answered today, a few yesterday, and some couldn’t remember.

The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband:
“I love you, sweetheart.”

The women were then told to exchange phones with another person, and to read aloud the text message they received, in response.


Here are some of the replies:

1. Who the hell is this?

2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick or what?

3. Yeh, and I love you too. What’s up with you?

4 What now? Did you crash the car again?

5. I don’t understand what you mean?

6. What in hell did you do now?

7. ?!?

8. Don’t beat around the bush, just tell me how much you need?

9. Am I dreaming?

10. If you don’t tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.

11. I thought we agreed you wouldn’t drink during the day.

12. Your mother is coming to stay with us, isn’t she??



Do you Love your Husband?

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Posted by on September 7, 2015 in WISDOM



WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? – Answer – Stop looking for happiness from some outside source.










We tend to postpone our happiness because we have been conditioned that we can only be happy when we achieve a specific objective. The unpredictability of the times that we are living in make life a very painful experience for individuals with this frame of mind.

I once asked a young man in his mid twenties what would really make him happy? He responded and said, “I would love to retire and live in a small cottage close to the sea.” It was difficult for me to comprehend the long postponement of this young man’s happiness and then asked him, “What will make you really happy in your work?” He stared through the window for a while and then said, “I will only be really happy when I become managing director of the company that I work for.” You might think that this young man showed a lot of ambition, but I diagnosed him as a chronically unhappy boy.

It is good to have long-term goals, but it is better to learn to enjoy each step of your journey. Only when you learn to enjoy the current moment will you achieve real contentment.  

Happiness is not something that you need to strive for or that must be handed to you by someone else. Happiness is something that must be allowed to escape from your heart. Happiness is the ability to experience happiness notwithstanding what happened in the past or what might happen at some future date. 

If you knew that you have only one month to live, will you be able to enjoy every last second before your date with fate? If you are a person that is truly happy you will make the absolute best of the final hours of your life. You will give and receive love unconditionally. You will not waste time to accuse others of past mistakes that they made. What you will do is to live life to its fullest. Why then do we need to know that we will die soon before we actually live the final hours of our lives? Live each day as if it is your last on this planet and see what difference it will make. Stop looking for happiness from some outside source. Happiness is already in your heart; all you need to do is to release it.


The fear that something might be wrong with you is causing you to search for happiness in all the wrong places. Your beliefs that something or someone else will make you happy move your attention away from “here” to a place or destination away from yourself. It activates the perception that the “now” (current situation) is not the place where you will find happiness and that you can only expect happiness at some future time at a different destination or location.

Most of us are always busy pondering our “next step” and forget to appreciate what we already have. People search, struggle and strive, but never really arrive at their desired destination because they cannot get past the feeling that something is missing. I have met so many people that find it impossible to enjoy the present moment, the present company or their present partner because they feel that there is always still something missing.

The reason for this is because most people think that happiness must arrive from a source outside them. This perception is at the root of feelings of unworthiness and unhappiness. Most people are waiting for their friends, partners, children or employer to make them happy. This self-enforced feeling that something is missing and that happiness will mystically appear do not only put themselves under constant pressure, but also cause a lot of discomfort to the other players in his or her game of life.

I am convinced that you have met many individuals that are constantly unhappy. Such people also tell endless stories how people have let them down or how they have been taken advantage of. In short these people love to play the role of a victim and enjoy the moments of attention that it provokes in their listener. The problem with people with this disposition is that they are unable to see the whole picture. They look at things selectively and only see the things that will confirm and support their negative point of view.

When a happy person looks at a wonderful sunset he or she will allow themselves to be swept away by the kaleidoscope of colours and shadows. They might even experience a moment of deep respect for the creator. The habitually unhappy person will also look at the sunset, but will not even see the amazing play of colours. He or she might still be upset because his or her partner arrived late for their appointment.

I often tell people that you must not only listen to music, but feel the music as well. When you become a person that live your life in the now you usually become optimistic and appreciative. Unhappy people live in the past or the future. They usually drag trainloads of bad experiences with them. They find it impossible to let go of past failures and setbacks. They also cannot stop worrying what might happen in the future. While you are still busy congratulating them with their new job they will already speculate about things that could possibly go wrong at some future date. I am sure that you might think that this type of person should be classified as a perpetual pessimist, but I see people like this everyday. In fact I do not know a lot of people that I would classify as happy. When you take a careful look at all the things we do and strive for you will discover that our yearning to be happy is behind most of our actions and decisions.



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Posted by on September 7, 2015 in WISDOM



Do not allow your past to hold you at ransom.




A man that cannot find enough compassion in his heart to forgive is a fool. We all make mistakes, but the fool continues trying to convince everybody that he is flawless. When you master the art of forgiveness you enter a safe harbour and gain peace of mind. An energy bubble surrounds each one of us. This energy field is charged by your predominant focus at any given moment in time. People can sense when anger, grief or revengeful thoughts are trapped in this energy field. You need to sanitise this invisible energy bubble that accompanies you wherever you go if you want to improve your health or lifestyle. Letting go of the past is a good place to start. The key to a clear energy field is forgiveness. Not only forgiveness of other, but of yourself. Do not allow your past to hold you at ransom. Forgive yourself unconditionally and get on with the game of life. Even if the mistakes that you made in the past shook the world in its foundations you still need to put them behind you. Remember you are not the mistakes that you made. You are not your history. Let go of the past or unconditionally accept the current mediocre role or position that you are in. You cannot cross the bridge of life if you continue to keep your one foot on the yesterday’s side of the bridge. If you want to cleanse yourself you will have to forgive yourself unconditionally. You must see past mistakes as stepping-stones. There is nothing you can do about past mistakes and poor choices that you made. Forgive yourself and learn from your mistakes. Be gentle with yourself. Only when you can become your own best friend will you begin to make real progress in life. If you want to forgive a person for what he or she has done to you, you will need to erase his wrongdoings or no real forgiveness can take place.




Posted by on September 7, 2015 in WISDOM



The urge to win is sometimes so strong that it clouds our mind and judgment.



Assist people to achieve what they really desire if you want to make friends for life, become awfully rich or become very popular. Our expectation and hope drives us forward and helps us to overcome serious setbacks.


Attempt to make the right and best choice on a moment-to-moment basis. If you are going to wait for the perfect moment or until you have all the data, you might never make up your mind. Remember that your in-basket will still be full even on the day you die.


Attitude plays a vital role in everything you do. A poor attitude can never produce good results. A poor attitude is at the root of most failures. A poor attitude caused more marriages to fail and relationships to break down than all the other reasons put together.


Avoid head on confrontations or disputes if you can. There are usually no winners in such ego driven fights. The urge to win is sometimes so strong that it clouds our mind and judgment. An obsession by both parties to win usually lead to a major loss for at least one of the parties.


Avoid people that have the tendency to make their problem yours. By appearing helpless or lost, they con you into taking ownership of their problems. You are not a garbage truck that are contracted to remove everybody’s garbage (problems).


Avoid people that promise you the world, but do little. When you rely on an “empty promise” person, he will cause you endless problems. Good advice is to do things yourself if you want to make sure that they are taken care of.


Avoid saying things that could make people feel idiotic or inferior. It might give you a short-term ego boost, but in the long run, you will create an army of enemies that would love to even the score.


Avoid the misconception that people want to hear what is right and just. They want to be fed what they feel suits their current purpose. Give people what they want and you will be richly rewarded. When you help people to achieve their own objectives, they are usually more susceptible to yours.


Balance and decency is in during periods of success. When instant gratification becomes our main objective, we rapidly slide into the abyss of failure and discomfort. The wise man mastered the art of projecting himself into others’ shoes. When you act in a fair and responsible manner you enhance your chances of success many fold.


Be careful and remain grounded when you are faced with obsessive driven individuals. These individuals tend to exaggerate and amplify things in an attempt to buy your support. Certain politicians, clergy and conmen are experts at the art of mass hypnosis. When you are in the presence of passion driven individuals you need to question, probe and take nothing for granted. If you do you will do it at your peril.



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Posted by on September 7, 2015 in WISDOM



Book Review – An honest, fun, full-throttle story of a newly divorced woman throwing herself back into life…without a safety net!


Cover Pebble Beach 2


An honest, fun, full-throttle story of a newly divorced woman throwing herself back into life…without a safety net!


Attracted to the wrong men and don’t understand why? Afraid of being alone, getting older and losing your sex appeal? A little sex crazed (or a lot)? And still dreaming of a man who can save you from your life?

Chick Lit meets Self-Help in this high-spirited tale of a newly divorced, 40-something woman with two teenage sons who is trying to take control of her life, her sex-crazed body, and her new relationships with men – while struggling to build a career in advertising in the big city (plus going to quite a few therapy sessions). 

Until one day an unsavoury business scandal threatens to ruin the burgeoning career of our brave heroine…



  • A SINGLE LIFE SEEN FROM INSIDE Are you the type that is attracted to the wrong men – and do you do the most insane things to keep your relationships with them anyway? Are you terrified by the thought of being an old, wrinkled raisin that no man will ever want? And are you – once in a while – just a little hungry after sex? Yes? Well then you will really be able to identify with Pebble Beach. She is in her mid-40s, newly divorced, and mother of two teenage boys. She is struggling to make a career for herself as a copywriter. At the same time she’s trying – using all the tricks of the game – to make it as a single woman. Or in reality she’s trying to find a new man – but in fact it’s really going rather poorly on all fronts. “Single for the Second Time” is written by Barbara Berger, the woman who’s written more than 10 self-help books so among other things, the reader closely follows Pebble Beach as she goes through an intense therapy process in her search to find herself. The book makes you laugh, cry and think as well. It touches on themes like addictive relationships, low self-esteem, alcoholism and poor communication in an entertaining yet serious tone. A good and informative book for singles – and for those who don’t understand single women! ~ Bibi, Danish weekly magazine Søndag



I finished reading your book last night. I found this book dynamic, intense, stimulating and a real depiction of the complicated lives we all tend to create for ourselves. Pebble only took her power back after reaching a saturation point, a point where she mastered her “fear of loss”. It is astounding to read how her compulsive desire to please positioned herself in mortal danger. You succeeded extremely well with your depiction of her mental blindness and inability to identify individuals or situations that added very little or no value to her life. Most of us tend to see only what we want to see in others. This goes for everything else in life. You brilliantly displayed the horrific price Pebble paid before she woke up to her real potential. I loved how you shared her self-talk and futile attempts to make sense of the games that she became embroiled in. What I found enlightening and disturbing is that you will find a Pebble drama in every building, home or office that you observe when you look out of your window. You will without doubt discover the Pebble Beach in yourself when you turn away from the window and look in a mirror. Your subliminal ability to leave your reader with a question in his mind about his own compulsive and often obsessive behaviour in certain areas of his life gives this book longevity. It will be an idiot that reads this book and then sends it off to a second hand book shop. I recommend that we as readers take Pebble Beach off the shelf when we find ourselves struggling and straining to make sense of anything or anyone. This amazing book will then remind us once again where we allowed ourselves to get sucked in by illusions created in our futile minds that might once again return to our old and outdated software that we operated on historically. (Habitual reaction Patterns). The real value of The Adventures of Pebble Beach is that you learn and gain insight without even being aware of it. You become so embroiled by Pebble’s adventures that you fail to grasp that you are at the same time busy with a purification process while you load wisdom and insight into your sub-conscious archives.



You can read a portion of a chapter at the following link



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Posted by on September 7, 2015 in 21 AND OLDER, WISDOM



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