What would you say is the main difference between winners and losers? I am sure you can make a mile long list of potential differences. I found that winners see failure and setbacks as temporary while losers view them as long-term or permanent disasters.
Go to any hospital and you will see how even a glimmer of hope can fuel optimism and faith in distraught family members and friends of a very sick patient. This might be a crude example, but explain why so many people can quickly recover from painful setbacks and failures while others fall apart when faced with even the slight discomfort.
The key here is that the winner’s focus on life and view setbacks as part of the game and temporary while the loser sees failure as a potentially permanent disaster. Our natural tendency is to become apathetic when we find ourselves in a real corner or when we are faced with a problem that appears un-defeatable. Once you slip into this apathetic mind-set you lose you fight and faith. Even the smallest setback or problem becomes gigantic in our minds and fill our hearts with doubt and fear.
Winners work hard to avoid this mindset. They never see setbacks or failures as permanent. They know that nothing in life is permanent. I have seen how winners go bankrupt and rise up again to become financial giants a few years later. Why I say “winners” is because they did not allow the apparent disaster to floor them permanently. They learned from their mistakes and jumped back into the arena of life better prepared. If they saw their setback as permanent they would have become struggling beggars at the table of the affluent few. It is a known fact that most successful entrepreneurs boast with at least 3-4 serious failures before the finally hit the jackpot or find something that really works for them.
Winners concentrate on what they know they can do well. If I am built like a beach ball and weigh as much as a small family car it will be extremely stupid if I develop a burning desire to become world one-hundred meter sprint champion. If I struggled with maths since the day I went to school it will be very stupid to enrol myself at university for a degree where maths is vital in the obtainment of my degree.
What some people fail to understand is that they build disappointment into their dreams if they do not become very realistic about their strengths and weaknesses. Most of us are good at certain things and not so good at others. Winners focus on things that they know that they can do well and save themselves a lot of time and frustration. They do not labour under the illusion that you must be a champion in everything you do. If they know they are not good at maths they do not contemplate suicide if they come last in a class of sixty-five. They accept that they are pretty good at certain things and less good in others. Stop setting yourself up for failure. It is a fallacy that you must be perfect in everything you do. You might be world champion material in specific fields or disciplines, why waste your time and energy on things that obviously do not suit you.
I suffered with the fallacy that I must be outstanding at everything I do. I tore myself apart when I failed or fell short of my own and others expectations. I finally came to terms with the undisputable fact that it make much more sense to focus on what I do well and to avoid setting myself up in no-win situations. Stop trying to be perfect in everything you do. You will like most of us mortals shine in certain areas and look quite clumsy in others. You might be a brilliant salesperson, but poor in administrative work. Rather appoint an administrative clerk to manage your office so you can spend even more time at what you are really good at. I wish I understood this principle many years ago. I would have saved myself years of frustration and doubt. You will never find a lion crying his eyes out because he cannot fly like an eagle or swim like a dolphin.
by Ismini Apostoli
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