RSS

Daily Archives: September 21, 2015

Seeking the approval of others is definitely the royal road to unhappiness.

.

approval

.

Seeking the approval of others is definitely the royal road to unhappiness.

  .

Being loving and kind

.

Oh but you say, you want to be loving and kind. Well what does that mean? Does being loving and kind mean being a doormat? Does being loving and kind mean choosing to please others instead of doing what you think is right and taking care of yourself? Does being loving and kind mean sacrificing your own integrity and agreeing with things or people when you know it’s wrong or when it doesn’t feel right to you? Does it mean being afraid to ask for the time to consider things when you’re not sure of what you feel? Does it mean you can’t follow your own intuition just because someone else says something different?

   Being loving and kind is one of those wonderful stories we tell ourselves to confuse ourselves and to block honest communications with ourselves and with others. And who’s to say if being clear and honest and communicating openly is not the most loving and kind thing we can possibly do in every situation!

.

Being afraid of disagreement

.

Another great barrier to clear and honest communication is the belief that people ‘should’ agree with each other. The thought that people ‘should’ agree with each other might be a nice idea, but in the real world, people just don’t agree with each other. And they never have. Once again, we’re not talking about right or wrong, we’re just talking about the way things are. We’re talking about reality. And as we know, when we argue with reality, we end up making ourselves miserable. So when it comes to disagreeing, the reality is that people do disagree with each other. People have different ideas and opinions about almost everything. People have different preferences about how to do things. And they have different goals, dreams, hopes, wishes, likes and dislikes. That’s just the way it is. Different things interest different people. Some people love snowstorms while others love the heat. Some people think the ultimate joy is traveling to a crowded city for a busy weekend of shopping and dining out while others think the ultimate joy is retreating to a quiet spot in nature or going to a meditation center. That’s just the way of it. Wanting people to agree is setting yourself up for heartache and failure because it’s never going to happen.

   So why are we so afraid of disagreement? Why do we want the impossible? Usually it’s because we want people to like, love and approve of us. I think part of the fear of disagreement can be found in the fact that we link agreement and approval with people liking or loving us. We think that if we love someone we ‘should’ agree with him or her. And we think that if he/she really loves us, they ‘should’ agree with us. But is that true? Think of all the people you really do love. How many of them do you agree with and how many of them agree with you? Of course if your definition of love is “you agree with me and I agree with you” well then you’re really in for trouble!

Barbara Berger

.

From her new book Are you happy now?

Read more about this amazing book at the link below!

https://eagleman6788.wordpress.com/2013/07/09/book-review-barbara-bergers-new-book-are-you-happy-now/

Picture – http://dittoeffect.com/approval-seeking-addiction/

.

 
1 Comment

Posted by on September 21, 2015 in WISDOM

 

Tags:

Mother Nature deposits her gifts on everyone regardless of their status, race or career.

.

.

THE RAINBOW

 .

My mood was cold, dark, and directionless. My tortured mind was filled with thoughts of missed opportunities and broken promises.

 

The cutting wind on my unshaven face made my eyes water and drove the dark clouds of depression into my shattered soul.

 

The years slipped by like fleeting dreams. Moments of joy and victory came and vanished like the waves of the ocean bashed on the black rocks of sadness.

 

I looked up and noticed the sheets of rain that endlessly poured its gift of life and growth in all directions.

 

A thought darted into my tired defeated mind. I suddenly noticed how nature shares her abundance with everyone and everything.

 

Mother Nature is not selective when she sends gifts of rain and sunshine to feed, nourish and rejuvenate everything with a smattering of life at their core.

 

These gifts of life are given to the seeds that are still sleeping in the soil. The dark scorched earth will soon put on a new coat of colour and in turn pass on these gifts of life to the bees, birds and everything else that waited patiently on Mother Nature to return as she has done since the beginning of time.

 

I suddenly understood that it is mankind’s inability to give unconditionally that is responsible for the inequality that drips off this planet like black wax from a candle.

 

Our homes are filled to the brim with stuff, but we want more, better, faster and the latest. Something inside us drives us like a hungry pack of wolves forward in our quest to feed our greedy ego.

 

There is no time for compassion in our busy lives. Poverty stares at us on every corner, but we are so obsessed with our own little world that we never notice that cold and hungry child on the corner of the street or a mother that worked her hands to the bone to serve us where we sit in our artificial castles sipping our wine of success.

 

The clouds of gloominess gradually lifted from my bowed shoulders. I knew what Mother Nature came to teach me in this dark night of my soul. She came to teach me about compassion and gratitude. She showed me that I must learn to give unconditionally and abundantly if I want to make a contribution to life on this planet.

 

I noticed that the sun began to break through the clouds announcing that the rain moved on to go and do some more teaching down the road. A rainbow suddenly appeared on the horizon. I slowly got up, wiped the water from my face, pushed back my shoulders with new hope in my heart against the backdrop of the singing of the birds that were thanking Mother Nature in advance for the new gifts that she will bring the next time she pays us a visit. She will like before pour her gifts on the rich and the poor, on those that have in abundance and those that have virtually nothing. She deposits her gifts on everyone regardless of their status, race or career and knows that a time will come when mankind has evolved enough to grasp that we are one and an extension of her.

Rene

.

.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on September 21, 2015 in WISDOM

 

Tags:

Happy people have an advantage. They are often healthier and live longer.

.

Happy people have an advantage over unhappy ones — they may be healthier and may live longer.

 

An extensive review of literature using seven types of evidence indicates that high subjective well-being (SWB), such as life satisfaction, optimism, and positive emotions, causes better health and longevity. The review, published in Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being (2011), examined 160 studies which showed compelling evidence that positive feelings predict health and longevity.

 

The findings of the review, based from seven types of evidence, are summarized below:

Longitudinal studies. These studies, which have large sample sizes and have followed participants for a decade or more, revealed that SWB was related to lower mortality rate in both healthy and diseased populations. Positive moods such as joy and happiness, life satisfaction, hopefulness, optimism, and a sense of humor were associated with reduced risk of mortality and predicted longevity.

 

Physiology and health. Moods and emotions are associated with biological markers such as blood pressure, cortisol, and inflammation. Studies found that pessimists have higher blood pressure levels. Anger and hostility were related not only to the development of cardiovascular disease, but also to disease progression and inflammation. Stress predicted lower levels of immune response; whereas, positive affect strengthened immunity. Positive affect was associated with greater social connectedness, perceived social support, and greater probability of performing healthy behaviors.

 

Experimental manipulations of emotions. In experimental studies, positive and negative moods are induced which are then measured. Research showed that participants exposed to positive mood induction had quicker cardiovascular recovery after a stressful task than subjects who were exposed to neutral and negative mood inductions. Studies also revealed that couples who were generally higher in hostility had slower wound healing than low hostile couples, as well as more tumor necrosis and a poorer immune response.

 

Animal studies. Animals are used in experimental research to obtain information about how certain positive and negative situations affect their health and longevity. Studies revealed that socially-stressed monkeys developed more extensive atherosclerosis than unstressed ones. Stress, threatening human behavior, and isolation suppressed the immune system of monkeys, chickens, and pigs. Pigs that learned a mastery task to obtain rewards, giving them some control over their environment, later showed quicker wound healing and carcass quality.

 

Quasi-experimental studies in natural settings. Studies in quasi-experimental studies suggest that events and disasters are associated with cardiovascular and immune changes. Disasters, bereavement, and observing exciting sports events can trigger cardiac deaths in vulnerable individuals. Further, people with work overload and worry showed higher cortisol response at awakening and on weekdays but not on weekends.

 

Interventions that influence SWB. Researchers found that transcendental meditation and progressive relaxation reduced blood pressure over a 3-month follow-up period, compared to a control group. People who wrote about intensely positive experiences had fewer health center visits for illness during the following 3 months, compared to people who wrote about a control topic. Patients who suffered from myocardial infarction, who received Type-A counseling (for Type A behavior) in addition to traditional cardiac counseling, were less likely to die within 5 years.

 

SW’s impact on quality of life and pain. Studies showed that positive emotions were related to lower pain and greater tolerance for pain. Patients suffering from fibromyalgia and rheumatoid arthritis reported less pain with positive mood induction while women reported less pain to heat stimuli when looking at photos of their partner.

 

In sum, these converging studies form a compelling proof that SWB, such as happiness, causally influences health and longevity.

 .

By Amy Chaves, Ph.D. / Source: Natural News

 

 

.

.

 
1 Comment

Posted by on September 21, 2015 in WISDOM

 

Tags:

Being at peace is a choice. How? Stop struggling/fighting the world around/within us.

.

.

.

Being at peace is the wonderful state of mind and body where all is calm, where thoughts are quiet and serene, and where muscles are relaxed and comfortable. In this article, you’ll learn how to attain this inner peace in a matter of minutes.

 

Once you are adept at controlling your mind and body, you are always only one simple thought away from perfect peacefulness.

 

You can “will” perfect peacefulness at any time. You will be able to move out of stressful situations immediately. All you need to do is follow a few simple steps to train yourself. A little practice is all that is required. But, you must take the time to direct the mind and body in positive ways so that you can ensure the pleasures of inner peace.

 

You’re at the wheel. So let’s drive on!

 

Let peace happen.

 

Being at peace is a choice. When we stop struggling and fighting the world around us—and the world within us—peace can happen. Our individual fight is with our thoughts, emotions and physical bodies. The fighting can be directed toward ourselves or those we face each day. Here are several approaches to quickly give up the fight and win at the same time.

 

There are many ways your physical body can take on struggles you face each day. Maybe you clench your jaw when you get mad. Maybe you collect tension across the back of your neck and shoulders. Maybe butterflies trouble your stomach. The first step is being aware of what you are doing. The second step is to consciously make the choice to release the tension.

 

Your mind takes on struggles in the form of mental images. Do you tend to imagine the ideal end result or the worst possible situation? Troubling and negative mental images translate into unpleasant emotions and stressful physical reactions.

 

Choose carefully the thoughts you think because they absolutely affect how you feel. Realize that the only person who can change your thoughts is you. You can then take charge and change your thoughts for the better.

 

Emotions are natural physiological changes that occur when thoughts are held in your mind. You can easily direct your emotional states by changing your posture; for example, sit straight, tilt your head, use facial expressions, walk differently, etc. You can also direct your emotional states by holding brighter and more pleasing visual images in mind. You have the choice, but you must make the choice.

 

Creating Peace of Mind

 

To create peace within yourself, simply relax your body and breathing; then, direct the mind.

 

A still body is the reflection of a calm mind, but the mind cannot be still until the body is still.

 

Begin by making your body comfortable. Then release areas of tension. As example, gentle movements of the neck and shoulder muscles can help stretch and release tension in those areas.

 

Breathing in an even and steady way will quickly calm both the body and mind. Make the inhale and exhale of equal length without any pauses in between. Your breathing will become smooth and even.

 

The next step is to quiet the mind. Start by bringing your awareness into this present moment, here and now. By doing this you can effectively eliminate distracting or troubling thoughts. Any anxieties about the future or tensions from the past will leave your mind and body.

 

Another way to direct the mind is to direct your inner voice–especially if it is anxious or overbearing. Play with the idea of changing the volume of your inner voice. Have it be quieter.

 

Modify the tone of you inner voice until it is pleasant, warm and nurturing. You can have it say pleasant and comforting words to you—words of encouragement and self esteem. Some people even repeat soothing words or phrases in a rhythmic way.

 

The final step is to hold images that encourage a peaceful mind. For thousands of years, prayerful and meditative people have directed the mind by holding steady mental pictures. For example, the image of a candle flame can be used to concentrate one’s attention and steady the mind. You can use images of a peaceful scene from nature, a vacation setting, an imaginary room of comfort, a cathedral, rose bushes, or anything calming, wonderful, and peaceful.

 

What To Do Once You’ve Got There.

 

Getting to a relaxed state of mind and body by the above steps may take 20-30 minutes at first. With practice, however, you’ll be able to accomplish this within a few minutes.

 

When you try to extend this peaceful feeling for long periods of time, you may find that your mind will race to other thoughts. After all, your mind is trained to race, to go full throttle, all day long. If you suddenly stop for 20 minutes, will your mind to cooperate? No. It will do what you trained it to do for the 16 hours–race!

 

So, what’s the solution? How do you create a peace-filled life, and not peaceful three-minute spurts? Take it one moment and one thought at a time. Bring peaceful, serene, and positive images and feelings into the rest of your day. Learn to release tensions as they occur. Learn to direct your thoughts and emotions at the time they start getting out of hand. You’ll discover that not only can you create a peacefulness, but you are living a peace-filled life.

.

By Paul R. Scheele, Creator of the Ultimate You Mindfest

.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on September 21, 2015 in WISDOM

 

Tags:

 
Mightyman Vukeya

DNS is in my DNA

Chris Brake Show Podcast

LIVE! Every Wednesday @ 8pm Eastern / 7pm Central on StrangeLabel.com

wqp88888

Just another WordPress.com site

Digital Media

Join me here on my crazy techincal journey! Disasters will occur

Incognito

Just another WordPress.com site

Lama Surya Das

Lama Surya Das, the most highly trained American lama in the Tibetan tradition.

My Life as an Artist (2)

Smile! You’re at the best WordPress.com site ever

juliesiteblogdotcom1

A great WordPress.com site

Joseph Matheny : ars est celare artem

Reality Hacker | Artisanal Legend Crafter | Feral Scholar | Collarless Dog | Gamecaller | Mytho-Poetic Bricoleur | Labyrinthos Mythologicus Architect | Transgressive Storyteller | Caput Gerat Lupinum

My Story of Organized Crime, Organized Stalking, Public/Political Corruption and Domestic Terrorism

Over a decade of organized stalking, extortion, schemes to defraud, racketeering/murder in aid thereof, in colossal proportion.

dianetot's Blog

its all about life,love,passion,desires,truth

BEYOND

Parapsychology is what's beyond the humans and metaphysics is what's beyond nature, and both define the same thing... God.

Michelduchaine

Défenseur de la Terre/Defender of the Earth

Hathor Rabiah

A new name. A new city. A new life.

Opening Duirs

SOCIAL ENGINEERING AND PROGRAMMING

Cracked

The Chocolately, Nutty, Interior of my life and Psychology

Celestial Elf, a2ndLook~

Perceptions 0f Reflections ((a backup blog for http://celestialelfdanceoflife.blogspot.com/))...

Cindi Gale

To every thing there is a season ~

The Sting Of The Scorpion Blog (T.S.O.T.S.B.)

.......................Because Everything Else Just Bites!

Poetry Inspector

Favorites from around the Web

Los Sentidos De La Vida

Un Blog de Cine, Musica, Vinos... En 75 palabras aprox.

My Time is Now

Dancing With The Elderly- A Hollywood Actress's Day Job

let the free birds fly

surviving creating instigating

Qubethink

Permutate

AshiAkira's Blog

Just another WordPress.com site

diary of a single mom in the south

my life, my love, my story

My Hong Kong Husband

Third culture wife: Polish girl married to a Hongkonger, fresh off the airplane in Ireland. AMWF, lifestyle, culture, food, Asian fashion and a little bit of Cantonese

Dean J. Baker - Poetry, and prose poems

https://www.amazon.com/Dean-J.-Baker/e/B00IC6PGQM/

Loving Without Boundaries

A Modern Look At Practicing Polyamory / Ethical Non-monogamy

Gorgeous

Ramblings from a disturbed mind ©2013 Cho Wan Yau

Middle-Aged Martial Arts Mom

Loving a crippling compulsion....

lovinchelle

LIVING LIFE AND TAKING PICS ALONG THE WAY.

Just me being curious

A blog of questions and few answers.

I Dont Want To Talk About It

The Ultimate Paradox: Depression in Sobriety

Shepherd Mulwanda

ICT Research Training and Consultancy,Agriculture for Youth Development.

Don Charisma

because anything is possible with Charisma

White Shadows

Story of a white pearl that turned to ashes while waiting for a pheonix to be born inside her !

dancingwithanother

Trying to make sense of turmoil

Dince's Chronicles

My Personal Blog

Awareness It Self

Quotes for spiritual enjoyment

Doug Does Life

A Creative Monkey On How To Find Your Path In Life.

existence !

blog de philosophie imprévisible, dir. Jean-Paul Galibert

How my heart speaks

My seeings and my thinkings

muralskp

This WordPress.com site is the bee's knees

SYL JUXON SMITH'S BLOG

Changing Our Mindset is the Imperative and Way Forward

%d bloggers like this: