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Daily Archives: September 30, 2015

Groundhog Day – What if you are reliving the SAME DAY over/over again?

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What if I told you that YOU are reliving the same day over and over again and you are not even aware of it?

A couple of days ago I watched the classic Groundhog Day with Bill Murray. I have watched this movie before, maybe 10 years ago, but now I understood it a little better.

Despite the great old school comedy, the entertaining story and the amazing presence of Bill, I saw something else. I realized something and I was astonished.

Did you know that we are ALL reliving the same day over and over and over again and we are not even aware of it?!

I realized that the movie is not a fantasy at all. It is a great, powerful analogy of life, time and growth. It precisely explains how time works and how we work through time. It precisely explains how we grow and how energy flows.

But I’ll take it easy, dear readers, and explain everything. Let’s dive in!

In the beginning, we get stuck!

For those who haven’t watched the movie, a person named Phil who is a weather caster gets stuck in a small town because of a blizzard. However, he soon realizes that he is not just stuck in the small town but, for some reason, he is also stuck in time, reliving the same day over and over and over again.

No matter what he does, where he sleeps, or even if he doesn’t sleep at all at 6AM he is transported into the bed of his motel room with the same day starting again. Everything is reset, except his consciousness. Nobody else remembers “his” previous day, just like it never happened.

That’s probably the shortest description of the movie. But it is enough to continue with our little chat. Now bear with me.

What if you were immortal? What would you do if you could live forever?

What if I tell you that you are, and you are actually stuck, reliving the same day over and over and over again?

You would probably consider me crazy or, at least, a little coo coo.

I mean you remember yesterday, everybody around you remembers yesterday and their version is, of course, the same as your version.

But let’s pretend for the sake of getting a clearer picture, that everyone else’s version of “yesyerday” is different from yours.

What would you do in such a scenario?

First, most of us would probably do the same thing: activate the PARTY mode and try to satisfy as many desires as we possibly can!

Just like in the movie, we take advantage of our “superpower” and use it to do what we please, to get what we want.

We are focused on going all out and experiencing, using, abusing, manipulating all that we want to. Why? Because the next day everything is reset, so what’s the big deal, right?

We can eat as much as we want and whatever we want, we can learn things about others so that the “next” day we can use them to make new friends or sex companions or, simply, manipulate things into our own advantage.

We can rob banks and make money simply by finding gaps in the timing.

We can convince people we are godly figures and get away with anything. We can have so much fun with our newly discovered “superpower” without any consequences whatsoever.

We can literally do whatever we want, so why not taking advantage, right? But then, things start to get pointless.

Once we realize the shallowness of acquiring physical or material desires, once we sense that there must be something more than just doing what we want, we would probably change our focus.

Second, we realize what we truly love!

Being immortal and all, there comes a time when you realize that there is something you always wanted, something beyond everything else.

This “thing” is now the only thing that matters in eternity. So what do we do?

We do what we learned to do best. We try to use our “superpower” to get what we truly love.

But, somehow, nothing we do with our “superpower” seems to work. No matter how much things we learn to manipulate, there seems to be no way of getting what we truly love.

Why?

We continuously ask this question, why can’t we get this thing but we can get everything else?

However, the worst thing is to actually get what we think we truly love and realize that something is still missing.

So what do we do? We do not want to live anymore. We may even try to kill ourselves, but hey, we are immortal aren’t we?



After eons pass and we accept that we cannot use our “superpower” to get what we truly love, we start to help people.

We look for people in need of help, we study their problems and we fix whatever they need fixing.

If we see a kid falling from a tree, the “next” day we will make sure to be there and catch him.

If we see a homeless person, we will try to feed him/her.

If we see an old lady having a flat tire, the next day we will make sure to be there with a spare tire, even before the other one gets flat.

We would do as much good as we can, because deep inside humans are good and deep inside we want to make the world a better place.

But then we understand that cannot be in more than one place at the same time, so while we would help the old lady changing her tire, we would not be there to catch the kid falling from the tree.

So we realize that nothing we do truly matters. The next day everything is reset anyway. And, if we keep on helping other people, there will always be people who we cannot help.

In fact, there is no one we actually help, because the “next” day it is all the same.
We can literally help no one with our “superpower” but ourselves, so that’s what we do.

In the end we give up and start doing what we really want to do to grow as a person because it is our consciousness which remembers the days.

If we feel like learning to playing the piano, that’s what we do. We start learning piano, regardless of the costs and, eventually, we master this art.

Next, we may want to learn ice sculpting, so that’s exactly what we do. We learn the skill and we master it.

The same goes for other arts, like dancing, singing, painting or writing. We go ahead and master all of those skills.

Simply put, we grow by learning new things and we keep on growing. We learn poetry, we read books and we delve into different wisdom, philosophies and arts.

Then we start creating using the skills we have mastered, even though we know that the next day everything is reset.

Why? Because it is the process of creating that we truly enjoy and it matters more than the end product.

Now we let who we really are shine through!

We make the life of other people better by simply being in their presence. We know so many skills and techniques. We are the voice and face of the party.

Our calmness, confidence and self control give security, peace and freedom to anyone around us.

We are literally becoming stars and others are orbiting around us, being inspired and replenished with energy simply by being in our presence.

Soon, we will not be needing our “superpower” to get what we want, because we’ve become good at everything.

And here lies the greatest secret, my dear readers. Here lies the key to answering the question of why we couldn’t get what we truly loved.

It was never the desires that we wanted, but for us to be able to fulfill them. That’s why we so desperately wanted to satisfy them before everything else.

It was like a fix. A fix that was telling us “oh yeah, you are enough!” But we really weren’t, weren’t we?

That’s why we couldn’t get what we truly loved, because we thought we needed something external, or a “superpower” to grow and acquire it.

Once we focused on ourselves and our personal growth, once we realized that we were always enough to grow exactly as we wanted to grow, once we realized we do not need anything outside of us to be a better person, that’s when everything changes.

That’s when we became who we truly are. That’s when we became enough.

The sense of being enough as yourself, will release you from any burden, like: getting more, doing more, helping more, saving the world, or getting what you truly love.

The realization that you are enough, set you free and allowed you to be yourself and, by simply minding your own business, you accomplished more than struggling.

You’ve gained, you’ve done and you helped more, you saved the world in your own way through your own creations and with your simple presence you are making the lives of other people better.

Somehow, the “thing” you always wanted found you.

Like it was able to see that now you are legit, it made itself available to you. You acquired it and now it wasn’t missing anything.

And, somehow, the next day at 6AM things didn’t reset anymore. Life kept going with you having what you’ve always loved. You actually started living for the first time.

You probably wonder why you got unstuck.

Because you never were stuck in the first place, buddy. It was always your perception spinning you in circles to show you that you need to start living.

The past and the future, time as we know it, does not exist. They are only concepts of our minds.

Time doesn’t truly exist, does it?

Literally, the only thing that exists is the present moment, the NOW. Think about it.

So, next time you’ll feel stuck, reliving the same “day,” please know that it is your perception that is stuck, searching for something meaningful.

But instead of allowing others to tell you what is meaningful to you, why don’t you think about what makes you itch, and start doing it?

Once you balance yourself, the circling stops. For you, time will become straight again.
Instead of looking at eternity from the inside, you rose above and saw eternity in the depth of every moment.

You glimpsed into the infinity through the possibilities of your choices and you understood the power of creativity to open this window even more.

Once you’ve started building upon something that is meaningful to you, by being your true self, you pressed the play button and your perception shifted.

Now everything is possible and everything might happen. The only control you have and ever had is the one of choosing how you happen, where and through what to grow.



To Conclude

We are born and life seems to move forward when we are kids. We learn, we discover, we grow.

However, once we get to a certain age life seems to slow down and we usually get stuck reliving the same “day” over and over again. Until we get very old and realize how fast life went by.

We focus on getting more money so we can have more “mana” for our “superpower” and fulfill our desires.

We try to manipulate things into getting what we always truly wanted, not even being aware of our need to grow. But we learn this is a fool’s errand.

We may even desperately try to help as many people as we can because, for some reason, we feel guilty. Or we may even believe that we need to save the world.

But the world does not need saving. It’s not your responsibility to save the world. You cannot even help others if they do not want to help themselves.

You feel guilty because you are in the eyes of the one who is always watching you, the one who you always degrade and neglect yourself.

And you will instantly forgive yourself when you become honest and admit to yourself what you really need to focus on and do, no matter how selfish that may sound at first.

You will forgive yourself the moment you accept yourself to be enough.

The moment you accept yourself and start growing through your truth, the moment you start learning, discover and grow again is the moment you get unstuck.

No matter if we get everything and if we save everyone, the whole world and The Universe, we will never be enough until we see what we always were.

I know you realize now how you are basically reliving the same “day” over and over again. I am too, buddy, and I am trying to be a little more unstuck every day.

This is not a movie and it takes time to grow, but the moment you will start minding your own business, you will not feel stuck any more.

Take it easy, one step at a time.

Even starting to learn one thing you always wanted to learn is a great change towards the right direction.

Do something you always wanted to do. Learn something you always wanted to learn. Create something you always wanted to create. Tell someone something you always wanted to tell. Go somewhere you always wanted to go.

That’s when you truly start living.

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By Dejan Davchevski / LifeCodeCoach.com

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Posted by on September 30, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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Travel – Exotic Travel Destinations.

 
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Let the events that unfold on any given day be your teacher.

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Humanity’s preoccupation with themselves while they operate in their own little worlds obstructs them from noticing the amazing spectacle on show. They look and see nothing. They listen and only hear what they want to hear.

 

Most of us make our way through life in a daze. We daily find ourselves exposed to many opportunities to learn and to grow. We fail to identify the wonderful lessons that are hiding in our adversities. We cannot understand that everything around us, every tree, rock or event transmits subliminal messages to us. We are so busy with our superficial lives that most of us fail to hear the universal language that bind all of us together. Humanity’s preoccupation with themselves while they operate in their own little worlds obstructs them from noticing the amazing spectacle on show. They look and see nothing. They listen and only hear what they want to hear. They grow calluses on their ability to feel and experience. When will we evolve enough to care about every living plant, rock, tree and drop of water? Will we ever grasp that we are one with everything? What they do to a single blade of grass they do to themselves. Planet earth is alive. Planet earth is an extension of God. Everything and everyone is interconnected. What you do to anyone or anything affects the collective spiritual and physical well-being of the whole. Make each day a learning experience. Let the events that unfold on any given day be your teacher. God teach us via the wisdom of a rock or the grace of an eagle in full flight. God provides everyone with hundreds of opportunities to learn and to grow. The people and events that cross our path on any given day are our teachers. We must become still to hear God’s voice and experience his love and compassion. When you become still and open your spiritual eyes and ears, you notice that you and God are one.

 

Rene

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Make each day a learning experience. Let the events that unfold on any given day be your teacher. God teach us via the wisdom of a rock or the grace of an eagle in full flight. 

 

Rene

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How Core Beliefs are Built in Childhood

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How Core Beliefs are Built in Childhood

What are core beliefs? How do they end up playing such an important role in who we are and in our lives? How do we get them? Do we have access to them? Are we aware of them? Is it within our power to discard the ones that do not serve us?

This topic is really inexhaustible, but, in this article, I will touch upon some basic processes. Beginning in infancy, and early childhood two main processes are responsible for the way we view ourselves, our world, our place in it and our relationship to it: our personal observations, through our senses and autonomous thinking processes, and the influence of others.

As far as our sense of self is concerned, initially, we develop and build up our “I” through a mirroring process of what others tell us about us. “You are so pretty!” “You are a bad boy.” “You are stupid.” “You are lazy”. “You are just like your father”. “You’re like me, hopeless in math”. In conversations among grownups which we happen to eavesdrop on we hear: “Oh I don’t know what to do with her she is such a jealous child”. “He is my nightmare, I can’t wait for his bedtime so I can rest a bit”. “She’s chubby, but it runs in the family”. The “you are’s” and “he/she is’s” that we have heard in our childhood alone are countless. Some, to be sure, were circumstantial, although that says nothing about how one comment, one word spoken only once, one glance may have branded us for life. Others were repeatedly hurled at us. Some were not even necessarily “bad”, for instance: “she is so sweet and well-mannered”. “He always does what I tell him to do, he is so obedient.” These are “good” things, from a grownup’s point of view, right?

So, you may ask, does what we are told really determine who we are? The answer is no. It does not determine who we are, but it determines who we think we are. If the influences are strong, persistent, repetitive, we may grow without having even an inkling of who we really are. We have become a conglomerate of our parents’ most exacting expectations and worst fears. What’s worse is that we believe in this conglomerate as being our own true self.

You become hopeless in math. You become an overweight person. You become lazy. You become too obedient and compliant for your own good. You become so sweet and well-mannered that you do not react when people step all over you. You become what you repeatedly heard others say about you. All the countless “you are’s” and “he/she is’s” comprise what you call your Self. Isn’t there just a tiny bit of some authentic stuff in me, you may ask, is all of it conditioned in, drilled in, has not something of the realer me been retained? And you are right, there is, and bits and parts of you have indeed been retained. Those are the parts that eventually may urge you to seek some form of therapy, those are the parts that may erupt in unruly behavior, those are the parts that are extremely sensitive to criticism, to labeling, even to praise, because “praise” can be another victimizing behavior by shrewd adults and it is very widely used: “oh, I count on you to be mature and not hit your little sister when she ruins your school project you have been working on all week”.

Later on, more autonomous processes are at play, to be sure. Our own personal observations, our own identifications, choices and modeling of others, and various events that may leave a positive or negative mark – these are all ways of how the “I am” of each one of us is formed, influenced, empowered or disempowered. As we grow up, go to school, we develop our own “I am’s and am nots”. But by the time we are able to form our own opinions about our self and others, not only do we already carry some “baggage” of other’s people’s opinions of us, but we have also “inherited” a way of formulating, assessing and storing these personal opinions.

What I am trying to point out in this article is a subtle yet very powerful factor that is really responsible for a lot of damage, particularly if the outside influences or our own conclusions about ourselves are negative and self-sabotaging. Language is very important as a thinking tool, in fact there can be no thinking without language, except in very rudimentary forms. And we all make a small linguistic mistake which may have tremendous cognitive and emotional consequences: the erroneous use of the verb to be.

To make this point clear, compare these two sentences: What you did was (bad, rude, inconsiderate, wonderful, clever, stupid, etc.) You are (bad, rude, inconsiderate, wonderful, clever, stupid, etc.)

Unfortunately, this fatal linguistic mistake is very commonly made in our culture, and it affects very powerfully our cognitive processes, by leading us to conclusions that are over-generalized, absolutist, rigid, all-inclusive and permanent. Once all these various “you are’s” and “I am’s” are programmed into your basic programming, your self structure, you function automatically because your subconscious has accepted these conclusions as truths and as instructions that will automatically guide your action, your sense of self, and your presence in and interaction with the world.

This same process and the same linguistic and cognitive mistake is repeated also at a wider scale. Consider:

They (as a social class, a religious group, a racial group, an ethnic group) are…

We, in our family are….

Women are…

Men are…

The world is ….

Life is ….

So, you can see how powerful this little verb can be…Perhaps, while reading this article you remembered the “you are” gifts you received in your childhood, the “I am” gifts you have given yourself since.

Take a few moments to reflect on the following questions:

  • Which “you are’s” and “I am’s” in your experience do you find dysfunctional for you and would like to eliminate from your self-concept?

  • What core beliefs about you and the world do you believe are hindering instead of encouraging your development and prevent you from realizing your highest potential?

  • Which of your core beliefs are constructive and conducive to a healthy and happy life?

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by Ismini Apostoli

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Posted by on September 30, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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GAINING AND LOSING FACE IS SERIOUS BUSINESS

disguise11

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GAINING AND LOSING FACE IS SERIOUS BUSINESS 

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So don’t treat this concept of mianzi too lightly….especially if you’re doing business or spending a long time in China.

Foreigners working in China (who don’t appreciate the full cultural importance of face) often complain that their Chinese counterparts are “too sensitive” about being offended or having their feelings hurt. 

Similarly, many ex-pats in China—as well as other Asian countries such as Japan, Korea, Thailand, Singapore—can tell you stories of how their local friend suddenly stopped talking to them (probably because they somehow caused them to lose face).

And from the Western perspective, it is true—the Chinese are generally more sensitive to any perceived slights having to do with losing face since it’s so ingrained in their culture.

This cultural thin-skin is largely a product of culture that has valued social harmony as the prime rule (and generally avoided criticism).

In the West, many of these slights are seen as minor and quickly forgotten. But in China, failing to appreciate face can cause serious problems. While an American businessperson might be respected back home for his frankness and being a “straight-shooter,” he would likely be viewed in China as uncultured, overbearing, and rude.

For instance, an American subordinate attending a meeting where his boss is presenting would generally think nothing of raising a question, making an alternate suggestion, or even disagreeing in front of others. In China, this would be a serious face-losing situation for the subordinate, boss, and even the company.

In fact, making someone lose face can sometimes insult someone so deeply to create an enemy for life. Indeed, revenge is very much part of the equation—and not just on Chinese soap operas, which include a heavy dose of avenging face-losing situations. I think it’s safe to say that throughout China’s long history, face has started many unnecessary conflicts.

In terms of practical travel advice, a loss of face can result in some form of sabotage, non-compliance, or foot-dragging. For instance, let’s say that you’re frustrated by an employee who is processing your visa or permit. You start ranting and raving loudly—demanding to see the manager, etc. Don’t be surprised if your application is “lost” under the bottom of the pile.

 SO HOW DO YOU DEFINE IT EXACTLY?

 As a sociological construct, the Chinese concept of face is difficult to define. The famous writer and translator Lin Yutang (1895 –1976) even went so far as to say that “face cannot be translated or defined.” He did however characterized it as “Abstract and intangible, it is yet the most delicate standard by which Chinese social intercourse is regulated.”

The closest translations are along the lines of “pride”, “dignity” or “prestige”. But these don’t tell the whole story.

SOURCE

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Money a problem? When last did you say or think – ‘I don’t have enough money’?

 
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