Checklist for Psychological Maturity by Barbara Berger

29 Jul




Did you ever wonder what characterizes a psychologically mature person? I’ve thought about it a lot – both on my own personal inner journey of awakening and because I work as a therapist and coach on a daily basis, helping other people with their issues.

Here are some of the things I’ve discovered.


First of all, as you start to become more mature psychologically, you realize that most people are so psychologically immature that in reality they are like four-year-old kids running around in adult bodies. This is not an accusation or a criticism, but rather a description of how things are. Most of us are actually quite psychologically immature and confused about a lot of things – that’s just the way things are. And as a result, we often perceive life as being difficult and we may experience a great deal of unhappiness.

As we become more psychologically mature – one of the first things we notice is that life is no longer such a struggle. In fact, as we mature psychologically, life becomes easier and a much more interesting adventure (regardless of outer circumstances and what’s going on) – and we experience much more happiness.

So what characterizes a more psychologically mature person? First of all, when a person becomes a more mature adult, he or she has a much more realistic assessment of the human condition than people who are psychologically immature. Here are some of the other characteristics of a more psychologically mature adult.

When you are more psychologically mature,

  • You understand that life is challenging (for everyone)

  • You realize that no one (including yourself) is perfect

  • You understand that making so-called “mistakes” is part of the human condition and in fact the way we learn

  • You understand that things aren’t so black and white

  • You don’t generalize

  • You don’t catastrophize

  • You’re no longer a drama queen

  • You have a more easy-going attitude to life and its challenges

  • You stop basing your decisions and actions on assumptions but are able to do reality testing first

  • You don’t go to extremes but prefer the middle way

  • You’re not so judgemental because you realize that you can’t possibly know what’s best for other people (or even for yourself)

  • You don’t blame other people for your problems

  • You take responsibility for yourself and what’s going on in your life

  • You have the ability to look at yourself more realistically and assess your strengths and weaknesses more realistically

  • You can say “I don’t know” or “I’m sorry” without losing face

  • You have a healthy sense of self-esteem

  • You’re grateful for all the good in your life

  • You’re pretty happy most of the time


Barbara and Tim


Find and Follow Your Inner Compass – coming in English at the end of 2016!

You can read more about the Inner Compass including excerpts from the book here.

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Posted by on July 29, 2016 in WISDOM



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