Make it as easy as possible for people to be with you.

19 Aug





I don’t know if you like me sometimes suffer with temporary blindness. When I look back I often fail to understand how I could have ignored the glaring signals that should have warned me that I am about to make a poor choice.

The key to success in any area of your life is locked up in the ability to “read” subliminal messages or signals during work or play. We often are so focused on what a person is saying that we fail to see the pain or loneliness in his or her eyes.

Have we become so self-centred that we find it impossible to detect the silent calls for help from friends, family and even strangers? When you learn to not only hear, but also “feel” what others are saying or hiding from you, you have mastered the art of communication. Many couples claim that they can “feel” when there is something wrong in their relationship even if there are no visible signs of a threat. It is not what their partners say or fail to express that warns them of potential problems, but a subjective feeling that warns them that something is unbecoming.

I have met a large number of people that lived the best part of their lives in a total fog. The fog never lifts from their ability to detect needs of anyone, but their own. If you want to really live and experience life to the full you must develop your ability to feel the pulse of things around you. When you master the art of really listening you are half way there.

Most people love to hear the sound of their own voices. Become really focused, listen with compassion and discover the subliminal signals that that your emotional radios are unable to pick up at this stage. When you “tune in” to others you get to know the real person behind the mask. You discover the person without his facades and games.




When you study a map of the world, you soon become very aware of the boundaries that demarcate the various countries. These boundaries have caused some of the bloodiest wars in the short history of man on this planet. You usually need some kind of passport or document to move from one territory to the next. If you do not have the right documents, you can land yourself in serious trouble.


What I often find astounding is that most people do not define their boundaries clearly enough. They expect people to guess their way to success. There are certain people that allow friends and strangers to cross their emotional boundaries without too much problems or discomfort. You usually know how they think and feel about things. You can set up relaxed relationships with such people and hardly ever experience any discomfort while you inhabit their territory. They are pleasant and easy to be with. You can develop warm friendships with this type of individual. Their emotional boundaries are usually not posted a million miles from their hearts and minds in an attempt keep potential pain away.


On the other hand, you get individuals that post their boundaries a million miles from their hearts and minds. They usually make it as difficult as possible for people to cross over into their emotional territory. If you do not have the right “passport”, you are stopped at their border posts and sent away with empty hands. They guard their territory with suspicion and doubt. They want a clear well defined reason for your visit and will not hesitate to deport you from their emotional territory when they experience the slightest discomfort. They are not easy to be with. They are difficult to communicate with and need constant justification for everything you say and do. They tend to jump to conclusions and make your stay in their territory a taxing experience.


Emotional maturity and confidence allows you to throw open your territory to everybody. People will love to visit you in your territory and will in turn invite you to share their territory as well. The key is to become emotionally secure and to make it as easy as possible for people to be with you. 


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Posted by on August 19, 2016 in WISDOM


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