The Secret of Good Relationships – Healthy Boundaries!

19 Aug



If you want to have a good relationship with anyone, it’s important to have healthy boundaries. And this is true whether we’re talking about your relationship with your partner, mother, father, child, friend or colleagues at work.  When we don’t have healthy boundaries, we have difficulty relating to other people and in experiencing true intimacy. So let’s take a look at what it means to have healthy boundaries.

When we have healthy boundaries, we understand that I am me and you are you and that each one of us has a right to be here and to be who we are. It also means that each of us has the right to make choices for ourselves and then to experience the consequences of all our thoughts, words and actions. When we have healthy boundaries we understand this and respect everyone’s right to be or do what feels right for them (and experience the consequences).

As a result of having healthy boundaries we respect other people’s rights and we expect other people to respect our rights. This means that when someone tells you how you should think or feel or what you should say or do when you don’t specifically ask them for their advice; they are not respecting your boundaries and your right to be you. This is an example of a boundary violation and is why it feels so uncomfortable. Taking good care of you means being able to recognize a boundary violation when it happens and then being able to clearly tell the other person that when you want their advice, you will ask for it! But this works both ways, which means you also respect other people and don’t tell them what to think, say or do unless they specifically ask for your advice or opinion. In other words, you do not violate other people’s boundaries either.

People who have trouble with boundaries usually fall into two main categories: Boundary-less and walls. In the first category (boundary-less) are people who have no boundaries and uncritically let other people tell them what to think, say or do. In this category are also people who tell other people what to think, say and do without being asked first. Both types of people are boundary-less.

The second category (walls) usually arise in people who have been violated so much that they have walls instead of boundaries and never let anyone get close to them. Unfortunately, this also prevents them from showing and sharing who they really are.

And then of course there are people who swing between being boundary-less and having walls. In all these cases, it is difficult to have close, healthy relationships with other people and to experience true intimacy which is the ability to share who one is with other people in a respectful manner.

When we begin to understand what it means to have healthy boundaries, we can learn to communicate honestly and respect both ourselves and the right of other people to say and do what feels right for them. And we can also learn to take better care of ourselves when another person tries to interfere with our right to make our own choices.



Barbara and Tim

Leave a comment

Posted by on August 19, 2016 in WISDOM



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Mightyman Vukeya

DNS is in my DNA

Chris Brake Show Podcast

LIVE! Every Wednesday @ 8pm Eastern / 7pm Central on


Just another site

Digital Media

Join me here on my crazy techincal journey! Disasters will occur


Just another site

Lama Surya Das

Lama Surya Das, the most highly trained American lama in the Tibetan tradition.

My Life as an Artist (2)

Smile! You’re at the best site ever


A great site

Joseph Matheny : ars est celare artem

Reality Hacker | Artisanal Legend Crafter | Feral Scholar | Collarless Dog | Gamecaller | Mytho-Poetic Bricoleur | Labyrinthos Mythologicus Architect | Transgressive Storyteller | Caput Gerat Lupinum

My Story of Organized Crime, Organized Stalking, Public/Political Corruption and Domestic Terrorism

Over a decade of organized stalking, extortion, schemes to defraud, racketeering/murder in aid thereof, in colossal proportion.

dianetot's Blog

its all about life,love,passion,desires,truth


Parapsychology is what's beyond the humans and metaphysics is what's beyond nature, and both define the same thing... God.


Défenseur de la Terre/Defender of the Earth

Hathor Rabiah

A new name. A new city. A new life.

Opening Duirs



The Chocolately, Nutty, Interior of my life and Psychology

Celestial Elf, a2ndLook~

Perceptions 0f Reflections ((a backup blog for

Cindi Gale

To every thing there is a season ~

The Sting Of The Scorpion Blog (T.S.O.T.S.B.)

.......................Because Everything Else Just Bites!

Poetry Inspector

Favorites from around the Web

Los Sentidos De La Vida

Un Blog de Cine, Musica, Vinos... En 75 palabras aprox.

My Time is Now

Dancing With The Elderly- A Hollywood Actress's Day Job

let the free birds fly

surviving creating instigating



AshiAkira's Blog

Just another site


Yes I cut Samson's hair, he was an asshole.

diary of a single mom in the south

my life, my love, my story

My Hong Kong Husband

Third culture wife: Polish girl married to a Hongkonger, fresh off the airplane in Ireland. AMWF, lifestyle, culture, food, Asian fashion and a little bit of Cantonese

Dean J. Baker - Poetry, and prose poems


Loving Without Boundaries

A Modern Look At Practicing Polyamory / Ethical Non-monogamy


Ramblings from a disturbed mind ©2013 Cho Wan Yau

Middle-Aged Martial Arts Mom

Loving a crippling compulsion....



Just me being curious

A blog of questions and few answers.

I Dont Want To Talk About It

The Ultimate Paradox: Depression in Sobriety

Shepherd Mulwanda

ICT Research Training and Consultancy,Agriculture for Youth Development.

Don Charisma

because anything is possible with Charisma

White Shadows

Story of a white pearl that turned to ashes while waiting for a pheonix to be born inside her !

GIFT FROM THE HEART - Share and Care!

Appreciation, Respect and Gratitude towards all...... that there is!


Trying to make sense of turmoil

Dince's Chronicles

My Personal Blog

Awareness It Self

Quotes for spiritual enjoyment


Esoterically Eccentric

Doug Does Life

A Creative Monkey On How To Find Your Path In Life.

Never Quite Broken

What you did not build up, you cannot tear down.

%d bloggers like this: