RSS

The Search for Happiness is the Single Greatest Cause of Misery.

26 Nov

glasses

.

Our lives are inundated with practicality and productivity. We think that if there’s no purpose to something, there’s no point in doing it. In reality the best things in life have no purpose.

We sacrifice our time and our sanity doing what we don’t want to do, so at some future point we will create the freedom to do what we love.

We seek happiness in things. We seek happiness in the acceptance of others, in material possessions, in social status. We even search for happiness in some future-promised afterlife. We sabotage ourselves and our entire lives because we fail to understand a very simple but easily overlooked fact.

The Search for Happiness is the Single Greatest Cause of Misery

You can’t find something that’s already there. Happiness exists now. It’s not something you have to find. That’s like trying to find your breath.

It’s the grasping of the mind that causes unhappiness. If you’re not happy, it’s because your mind doesn’t allow you be happy. And the reason your mind doesn’t let you be happy, is because you’re stuck in the vicious cycle of productivity, judgment and purpose. That’s not to say productivity is bad, or that doing things that have a purpose is wrong. It’s basing the reason for your existence on them that causes so much anguish.

When we place our happiness solely in “getting” something, completing a certain number of tasks on our to-do list, or achieving a goal, we’re fooling ourselves. We’re like a rabbit with a carrot stick attached to our heads. We keep chasing the carrot, but we never get there. We never stop to think that it might be the chasing that’s causing the problem. We’re too distracted trying to find a better way to beat the game. As soon as we reach one level of success, we’re hurrying to upgrade our search and move on to the next level of the chase. We never stop to think that it’s not the failure to win the game that causes our grief, but the game itself.

We neglect to realize that sometimes the best way to solve a problem is to stop participating in the problem. Sometimes the best way to to solve a problem is to just stop caring.

Sometimes…

  • The best way to solve the problem of not having a lot of cool friends is to stop caring about having cool friends.
  • The smartest way to be happy with the place you live is to stop caring about living in a two story house with a pool, a fireplace, central air and satellite TV.
  • The simplest way to be content with yourself is not to achieve greatness and praise, but to accept yourself fully for who you are now.
  • The quickest route to happiness is to stop caring about finding happiness and to start being happiness.

By not caring, we immediately release ourselves of the grasping of the mind. But it’s not easy to stay in this mindset (the mind loves to grasp); it’s something we have to constantly cultivate.

It’s especially difficult when our society tends to place more value on things, than on experiences. We value what we do more than how we feel.

This is completely ridiculous when you think about it. Because the way you feel should be more important than anything else. Isn’t the purpose of everything you do to feel good? Isn’t the purpose of that new car, that promotion, or college degree to give you a feeling of accomplishment? Isn’t that supposed to make you happy?

The problem with this is we’re basing our happiness on temporary things. We’re deriving our joy from an achievement, or an attainment. This isn’t true happiness; it’s an addiction. We get a short burst of endorphins to our bloodstream from our new TV, or new iPod, and then what happens? It disappears. It leaves us feeling empty and we begin looking for our next fix.

Our advertising and consumer culture doesn’t help this much. We are constantly bombarded with messages that we need this, or we need that. Incessantly, we hear: “Buy this and it will solve your problem!” If only we could solve that problem we may finally be happy. Wrong. It’s not the problems that are the problem. I mean, buying a more efficient vacuum or sowing on that button you’ve been meaning to for seven years is great. You may feel a sense of achievement for a few moments or days. But you’re still looking for happiness in a thing.

It’s the same with productivity. If only we could finish all of the things on our to-do list, could we be content. If only we could accomplish all of our goals, could we finally be gratified. This thinking is based on the illusion that you’ll reach a certain point where everything is done. You finally made it! There’s nothing left in your inbox, all your projects are complete and your lifelong goals are achieved! Now you can rest easy.

But this point never seems to come, does it? That’s because there will always be things to do. There will always be challenges, because everything in life is constantly changing. If you reached a point in your life where you had no more problems, no more struggles, no more worries, life would stop. The game would end and there would be no point left in playing.

So… what can we do about this?

We Need to Stop Caring

That doesn’t mean we stop trying to achieve our goals or striving for personal growth. It just means that we no longer base our happiness on fleeting, semi-permanent things.

There are obviously some situations where not caring may have serious negative consequences (paying your rent). Excessive caring, however, is likely to make you miserable.

The reason caring too much can be detrimental to your health, is you’re so focused on the future. Your identity is too attached to outcomes. If something does, or doesn’t go your way, it will likely have an enduring effect on your mood for the rest of the day.

Instead, we should base our happiness on permanent things. Things that don’t change. Desires that don’t shift from moment to moment. We choose to find our happiness in living. In life itself. In fact, we don’t even need to “find” happiness. We can be happiness.

So stop searching. You can’t find something that’s already there.

.

Source: Paid To Exist

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on November 26, 2016 in WISDOM

 

Tags:

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
Mightyman Vukeya

DNS is in my DNA

Chris Brake Show Podcast

LIVE! Every Wednesday @ 8pm Eastern / 7pm Central on StrangeLabel.com

wqp88888

Just another WordPress.com site

Digital Media

Join me here on my crazy techincal journey! Disasters will occur

Incognito

Just another WordPress.com site

Lama Surya Das

Lama Surya Das, the most highly trained American lama in the Tibetan tradition.

My Life as an Artist (2)

Smile! You’re at the best WordPress.com site ever

juliesiteblogdotcom1

A great WordPress.com site

Joseph Matheny : ars est celare artem

Reality Hacker | Artisanal Legend Crafter | Feral Scholar | Collarless Dog | Gamecaller | Mytho-Poetic Bricoleur | Labyrinthos Mythologicus Architect | Transgressive Storyteller | Caput Gerat Lupinum

My Story of Organized Crime, Organized Stalking, Public/Political Corruption and Domestic Terrorism

Over a decade of organized stalking, extortion, schemes to defraud, racketeering/murder in aid thereof, in colossal proportion.

dianetot's Blog

its all about life,love,passion,desires,truth

BEYOND

Parapsychology is what's beyond the humans and metaphysics is what's beyond nature, and both define the same thing... God.

Michelduchaine

Défenseur de la Terre/Defender of the Earth

Hathor Rabiah

A new name. A new city. A new life.

Opening Duirs

SOCIAL ENGINEERING AND PROGRAMMING

Cracked

The Chocolately, Nutty, Interior of my life and Psychology

Celestial Elf, a2ndLook~

Perceptions 0f Reflections ((a backup blog for http://celestialelfdanceoflife.blogspot.com/))...

Cindi Gale

To every thing there is a season ~

The Sting Of The Scorpion Blog (T.S.O.T.S.B.)

.......................Because Everything Else Just Bites!

Poetry Inspector

Favorites from around the Web

Los Sentidos De La Vida

Un Blog de Cine, Musica, Vinos... En 75 palabras aprox.

My Time is Now

Dancing With The Elderly- A Hollywood Actress's Day Job

let the free birds fly

surviving creating instigating

Qubethink

Permutate

AshiAkira's Blog

Just another WordPress.com site

Delilah

Yes I cut Samson's hair, he was an asshole.

diary of a single mom in the south

my life, my love, my story

My Hong Kong Husband

Third culture wife: Polish girl married to a Hongkonger, fresh off the airplane in Ireland. AMWF, lifestyle, culture, food, Asian fashion and a little bit of Cantonese

Dean J. Baker - Poetry, and prose poems

My books: https://www.amazon.com/Dean-J.-Baker/e/B00IC6PGQM

Loving Without Boundaries

A Modern Look At Practicing Polyamory / Ethical Non-monogamy

Gorgeous

Ramblings from a disturbed mind ©2013 Cho Wan Yau

Middle-Aged Martial Arts Mom

Loving a crippling compulsion....

lovinchelle

LIVING LIFE AND TAKING PICS ALONG THE WAY.

Just me being curious

A blog of questions and few answers.

I Dont Want To Talk About It

The Ultimate Paradox: Depression in Sobriety

Shepherd Mulwanda

ICT Research Training and Consultancy,Agriculture & the Youths

Don Charisma

because anything is possible with Charisma

White Shadows

Story of a white pearl that turned to ashes while waiting for a pheonix to be born inside her !

GIFT FROM THE HEART - Share and Care!

Appreciation, Respect and Gratitude towards all...... that there is!

dancingwithanother

Trying to make sense of turmoil

Dince's Chronicles

My Personal Blog

Awareness It Self

Quotes for spiritual enjoyment

dliwcanis

Esoterically Eccentric

Doug Does Life

A Creative Monkey On How To Find Your Path In Life.

Never Quite Broken

What you did not build up, you cannot tear down.

%d bloggers like this: