We live in a “button” pushing society today. We all have a natural tendency to push back when we feel someone activated one of our “hot buttons”. We allow people to trigger, anger, anxiety, fear of loss, discomfort in us daily with what they say, do or fail to say and do. The only way that you can get the habitual button pushers out of your life are to stop reacting and responding on their triggers.
We live our lives on a reactive basis. The reason for this mode of thinking is that we spend the best part of our day in “auto” mode. We react without thinking almost all the time. Our sub-conscious mind cannot reason when a request comes in via our five senses. Our sub-conscious minds can only draw from its historical perceptions and belief systems that it formed during early childhood. That is why we often make decisions
The fact of the matter is that people will continue to push your buttons and they will continue to control you and your emotions while you automatically respond to their silly games. I would suggest that you take a few days and observe how you act and react mechanically when your partner, friends or even strangers say or do something that trigger a negative emotional responds in you. Do not judge yourself or the button pushers.
When triggered hit the PAUSE (stop) button and simply become an observer. Just relax and say, do or think nothing. Just breathe in a relaxed and normal manner until you feel that whatever triggered you subsided. Do not jump to conclusions. Treat each case/event on its own merit. Stay in the moment and don’t allow your old and often outdated reaction patterns to influence you. Each event (trigger) is different. It is silly to let your old habitual reaction patterns tarnish the current moment. An inappropriate reaction could cause you discomfort and loss and activate a domino effect that could continue for years.
The “button pushers” in your life domesticated you to react and respond in a specific manner to enhance their control. Watch their faces and listen to their tone of voice when you stop reacting the way you have been trained. You will be surprised how quickly they will stop this destructive habit.
The simple art of detachment from your habitual reaction patterns can change your life. When you learn to let go you bring a brand new dimension into your life. Learn to detach and let go when anyone, yes even someone in the traffic push your buttons. You will be happier, healthier and will most probably live longer as well.
Negative and destructive thoughts can also be arrested using the same method. When you become anxious or uptight – pause and stop mentally delving into the past or projecting horror stories into your future. Focus on the reality of your current moment and deal with it on its own merit.
The void between races has been around for as long as we care to remember. This void will not heal until we stop looking at races on a cluster basis. We look at individuals through a filter system that have been installed in us since early childhood. Race profiling based on outdated and often defective belief systems drove a wedge between tribes and nations. It is unfair and short-sighted to paint everyone with a different skin colour than yours with the same brush. We need to urgently begin to view each person on merit in the moment. We need to stop seeking revenge for perceived atrocities or unfair behaviour by earlier regimes or generations. We will not remove this festering wound that rots the souls of nations until we move on. The only way to overcome this unproductive and destructive habit of racial or for that matter any profiling is to close the book on yesterday. We must immediately PAUSE when we get one of our racial profiling attacks. It is imperative to regain our composure. We need to address each person notwithstanding his/her colour or nationality in the moment without the toxic contamination of our belief systems. You might after an objective evaluation or because of the current unacceptable behaviour of a person decide not to befriend, assist or help such person. You must still refrain judging everyone with a similar skin colour or nationality. One or two bad apples will not motivate you to uproot the tree. Why then condemn a whole tribe or nation? Remember: PAUSE regain your composure when triggered and manage each individual/event on merit.