Obsessed with couple relationships?
Everyone seems to be obsessed with couple relationships – have you noticed? People who don’t have a partner are obsessed with trying to find a partner, people who do have partners are obsessed with what’s wrong with their partners and their relationships, and the people who are on their way out of relationships are already worrying about finding the next partner and the next relationship! It’s a veritable zoo out there (and in most of our heads) …
So what’s this obsession really all about? Well as far as I can see it’s all about feeling that wonderful, amazing feeling of love which arises for a very short period of time when someone looks upon you with the eyes of love. And yes, that is a very heady, intoxicating experience … but if you’ve noticed … it doesn’t last very long because after that first very exciting “falling in love” phase, “reality” sets in and you start to notice who this person really is and the other person starts to notice who you really are, etc. etc. etc. And then after that, it’s all downhill. Because no one can live up to the unbelievable and unrealistic expectations people have today when it comes to relationships. And so it goes – with the uphill battle of getting out of an unsatisfying relationship until the next moment of intoxicating “truly, madly, deeply” arises. And then we start all over again, thinking “this is it” for a little while at least …
But here’s the rub and here’s why it never works: The reality is it’s not someone else’s job to love us so much that we get a taste of our own “divinity”. It’s not someone else’s job to love us so “truly, madly, deeply” that we are intoxicated with life, it’s OUR JOB! It’s our job to get so in alignment with Life, with who we really are that we become intoxicated with living and dancing and singing and walking in nature because that’s who we truly are and because that’s our true nature and because Life itself is intoxicating, wonderful, beautiful and divine.
But sadly, we’ve been programmed from an early age to believe our happiness, our worthiness, and our very right to be and exist depends on the love and approval of others … and therein lies the problem. And therein also lies the task before us … the task of reclaiming ourselves and the beauty of who we really are. And the job of enjoying Life because it’s ours and because it’s a magical gift that each one of has been blessed with. And this doesn’t mean we can’t and won’t have relationships, but they will be based on a common sharing of each other’s own beauty and divinity and uniqueness instead of that horrible, terrible, painful “I need you so I can feel alive and happy” crap!
And so … if this is true (and it is), how can we regain contact with who we truly are, be ourselves honestly and authentically, and live joyously in the present moment, regardless of our partnership status?
Barbara and Tim