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Persuasion Tactics – People need to feel that they have made the right choice.

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perkey

 

Having good persuasion skills has become a necessity in today’s fast-paced world. A large part of your success depends on the cooperation of other people. Influencing them to your way of thinking is now a very essential step in the fulfilment of your goals.

 

Here are 5 simple yet effective persuasion tactics you may use everyday to build loyal and lasting relationships through the power of persuasion and influence.

 

Tactic # 1: You Must Enter Their World.

 
Copy them. Observe how they act, how they speak, and how they think. If they rub their forehead while they think, act like them. If they speak at a clear and slow pace, try to do the same thing. This is called mirroring. In due time, the people you’re mirroring will subconsciously feel more comfortable with you. It’s as if they see themselves in you. However, you must proceed with caution. Do not let them be aware that you are copying them. They might interpret it as mockery and you’ll just get into trouble.

 

Tactic # 2: Meet Their Existing Needs and Desires.

People are self-centered. They are initially concerned with their own well-being before others. If you can prove that your proposal will provide more advantageous benefits to them than to your own, then they will probably accept it. If you could focus more on their interests, desires, needs, and expectations, then you would satisfy their cravings for attention. Moreover, it would show that you really care about them. Mutual trust and respect would be established. Satisfy the “What’s In It For Me?” test first, before convincing others to do what you want them to do.

 

Tactic # 3: Provide Them with Compelling Evidence.

Explain to them how your ideas or suggestions could be the most effective techniques to implement. Show them undeniable proof that you have the best product by way of testimonials, before and after scenarios, and detailed comparisons against your competitors. Just make sure that all your claims are true and verifiable. Always maintain a good reputation. Be friendly and nice. Smile to brighten up the day. Make a sincere compliment to raise their spirits. Little things like these count a lot. Make them feel that whenever they need help or just someone to look up to, you’ll always be there to lend a hand. They would tend to be more receptive to people that they trust.

 

Tactic # 4: Communicate Wittingly But Clearly.

 
Most people, if not all, would like to be accepted and to be perceived as likeable in the eyes of others. But what if you have to tell something undesirable to your friend, which is just for his or her own good? How can you get your message across without hurting their feelings? Substitute negative statements with positive ones. Instead of saying “You don’t understand,” say “Let me explain.” Instead of remarking “You’re wrong,” say “Permit me to clarify.” Instead of stating “You failed to say,” just mention “Perhaps this was not stated.” There are certain words that affect a person more negatively in comparison with other words that have the same meaning.

 

Tactic # 5: Agree with Them First…

 
Nothing could be more pleasing to the ear than hearing someone else say that you are right. In this case, be prepared to let other people know that you respect their opinions. You may add your comments at the end, but acknowledge them first. Say: You’re right, although … Great suggestion, however … I agree with your opinion, however … I would feel the same way if I were you, although … I understand your situation, however … Reassure your counterparts that the decision made will benefit both parties. People need to feel that they have made the right choice.

By Michael Lee
Author of How to Be an Expert Persuader

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Posted by on February 21, 2018 in WISDOM

 

Book Review – “101 Relationship Myths”

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Here’s an excerpt from “101 Relationship Myths” about sexual attraction”. Enjoy!

“One of the relationship myths that has caused me the most pain during the course of my “relationship career” is the idea that strong sexual attraction and falling in love means you’re compatible and a good match. So a couple of years ago I decided to take a closer look at this idea and find out if it’s really true that when you’re on cloud nine and feel strong sexual attraction to someone, it means you’re going to be a good match as a couple.

It didn’t take me long to find the answer. When I looked back at some of my previous relationships, I could see that even though we were really attracted to each other, the reality was that we were not that good a match. Yes we might have felt blissful or even in love in the beginning, but when it came to relationships, lifestyle and interests, we often had very different views, preferences and values.

This realization was a revelation to me. Up until then, I’d been basing my choice of partner on whether or not there was a strong sexual attraction between us and not on whether or not we were a good match. And suddenly I could see the painful consequences of this misunderstanding – for me and my partners.

One of the consequences of believing that strong sexual attraction means you’re a good match was that in the beginning of a new relationship, I often found myself exaggerating or only focusing on the woman’s “positive” sides (oh she’s so beautiful, so spiritual, and so forth) while downplaying or even ignoring her more “negative” sides. For example, I would overlook the sudden unkind remark that made me feel uncomfortable and instead sweep it under the carpet because I was so much in love. Or I’d accept an action or actions on her part that I’d never accept in anyone else. But in her case, because the attraction was so strong, I’d let it slide. And I have to admit that if I had been totally honest with myself, the truth was I already knew on the very first date, in the very first five minutes or so of our conversation, why the relationship would sooner or later become unworkable. Yes it’s true, I actually knew from the very beginning the reasons why we would not be a good match…

But because I was so infatuated and innocently believed that strong sexual attraction means you’re a good match, I ignored reality. And the result was almost always the same. As soon as the intoxication of falling in love began to wear off and the reality began to set in, it would become more and more painful for me to stay in the relationship. And then, the long, difficult battle to extricate myself would begin.

Find your core values

So if strong sexual attraction and falling in love don’t necessarily mean you’re a good match – what does? What makes two people a good match?

One of the things that make two people a good match is that they have the same “core” values. By having the same core values, I don’t mean being the same personality type or having the same education or working in the same field. I mean you have the same basic attitudes when it comes to what’s important in life, not least what’s important when it comes to relationships.

One of the reasons why many relationships get into serious trouble is that the man and the woman don’t have the same core values. A “mismatch” like this usually spells trouble because most people live according to their core values – and usually unconsciously expect their partners to do so too. This can be problematic when these core values don’t match. Let’s take an example. Let’s say one of your core values is “freedom” while your partner’s core values are “security and feeling safe”. Obviously this can make your relationship problematic because you will both unconsciously be expecting the other to behave in a manner that is in conflict with his or her core value or values. So when you are faithful to your core value and give yourself and your partner lots of “freedom”, your partner may get upset and feel insecure because his/her core values of “security and feeling safe” are not being met or are threatened. The opposite is true too. When your partner tries to live in harmony with his/her core value and strives for “security” for example, by wanting clear agreements on how you do things, the “freedom-loving” partner feels stifled and inhibited. You feel your core value of “freedom” is being threatened. So this is why it is so important to be more aware of what you and your partner’s (or a potential partner’s) core values are.

My former girlfriend, sexologist and couples therapist Joan Ørting has developed a good exercise to help us become more aware of our core values when it comes to relationships. I suggest you give this exercise a try – it can be really interesting. Ask yourself the following questions and answer as honestly as you can.

Question: What is most important for you in a relationship?

Answer: That my partner accepts me and loves me unconditionally.

Question: How does it make you feel when your partner accepts you and loves you unconditionally?

Answer: It makes me feel SAFE.

Conclusion: So feeling SAFE is one of your core values.

Repeat the questions until you identify 3-5 of your main core values. Once you’ve done this, prioritize the values so that you end up with a list that looks like this:

My core values when it comes to relationships:
1) FEELING SAFE
2) BEING TOGETHER
3) JOY

Or perhaps you’ll come up with a list of core values that looks like this:

1) FREEDOM
2) ADVENTURE
3) BEING TOGETHER

Becoming aware of your core values can be a really big help when it comes to determining if you and a potential partner are a good match. And if you’re already in a relationship and are having problems, it may be because your core values do not match. So it can also be helpful to do this exercise with your partner and then talk about what your respective core values are. Understanding how your core values differ can make it easier to communicate with each other in the future.”

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Click here to read a short extract from the book.

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Posted by on February 21, 2018 in WISDOM

 

When we forgive ourselves and others, we are literally time traveling.

Mind-Bending Facts About Dreams

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In the Western world we’re taught to perceive time based on the clock ticking forward linearly.

However, spiritual wisdom challenges this notion through the possibility of parallel universes and time travel. And while we may not be able to magically click our heels and end up in a different time and place, we can allow our minds the joy of time travel by visualizing and creating the type of existence we seek to have.

1) Change the Meaning of the Past

Dr. Fred Alan Wolf, theoretical physicist specializing in quantum physics, suggests that when we forgive ourselves and others, we are literally time traveling.

This is because we are travelling with our mind, back into the past and then changing an imprint or meaning we gave to an event. And by changing a meaning or our perspective, we change our world.

For example, when we feel anger or resentment towards another, or to life in general, we carry this feeling forward through time and create a future that attracts such feelings too.

So forgiveness isn’t about making another person right, it’s about saying you will not take your suffering forward with you into the future.

2) Jump Into the Future

When you visualize the life you want to live, you’re sending that message to the Universe and stating the type of future you desire to have.

And with so many realms of the Universe being unknown, including that of parallel universes, it’s exciting to visualize and connect with a “greater you” in the Universe, and then project this person into your future.

As through this visualization process and the Law of Attraction, and the more you focus on the type of future you want (and who you want to be), the stronger that possibility becomes.

This is the fun that comes from living the “wish fulfilled,” as by imagining the future you would like to play a part in, and feeling the gratitude as if it existed right now, you can let go and make choices that move you in that direction.

3) Embrace the Now

Have you ever experienced moments where you’ve been so consumed by creativity that the passing of time has only seemed like minutes, when in fact, it’s been hours because you lost your perception of time?

So when we allow our minds to venture off into a creative space, without looking at the time (and when free from the ego), our minds connect with the divine power that resides within us and time travels to another place.

According to Indian sage, Patanjali, there are even more joys and ways to experience “time travel” as we progress along our path of inner knowing. But for now, use your days to transcend time with some of the above suggestions, and become your own quantum creator.

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By Matthew Ashdown / Source: MindTrip Magazine

 
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Posted by on February 20, 2018 in WISDOM

 

The THREE SECONDS formula that will change your life.

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The THREE SECONDS formula that will change your life

The THREE SECONDS formula that will change your life

The THREE SECONDS formula that will change your life

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PART 1 – INTRODUCTION

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three

 

I want to show you how the three seconds formula can do more for you than the reading of a hundred self-help books, attending endless lectures on self-development or meditating under a waterfall.

Many of us go around with hundreds of painful memories that wash over us feelings of guilt, fear, anxiety, remorse and shame when triggered. They are dormant and inactive events stored in your subconscious mind that jump to life when triggered. The triggers can come in many ways, It can be your own thoughts, something said or done by someone or even something you notice in the street.

Everything that you see around you started with a thought in someone’s mind. A thought acted on and believed in immediately start a creation process in universal consciousness. The more attention (thought) you give anything (good or evil) the faster it will germinate and grow. You are the creator or your life and circumstances. Your faith (negative or positive) drive your thoughts and feelings until they become a reality. The more you think about anything the more you speed up the manifestation process.

This should be good news for you if your thoughts contain positive and productive intentions. It can also be bad news for you if you discover that you are growing most of the stuff that stifle your growth using this same method. Your thoughts can be your biggest enemy or it can be the magic wand to your success.

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How to manage negative thoughts triggered by yourself or anyone else

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There is a saying that someone said nothing until you react to what was said. There is also a saying that thoughts become things. The key that will dramatically change all areas of your life is to master the three second method.

You need to consciously stop any thought or event that triggers negative and destructive reactions in you. You have at most three seconds to repel the incoming thought before it will trigger an avalanche of feelings and images that lay in waiting in your sub-conscious mind.

The key is to immediately repel any thought, comment or trigger that generates defensive reactions in you . Do not allow it to fester and grow. Stop and take your mind off the thought immediately for best results. Focus on something else and let the thought slide away into oblivion where it belongs. Kill off any reaction by focusing on something around you that demands no effort from you. Look at a picture on the wall or check the time on your watch. Focus on anything that will in these critical seconds block your old habitual reaction pattern to kick in.

I promise you that your life will immediately confirm that this powerful method is fool proof. Your relationships will change and your career will take on a new meaning. Remember practice makes perfect. Do it once and you will be astonished how different you feel. Do it for five minutes and you will already feel the benefits attached to this method. Do it for a week or a month and you will have no desire to return to the old painful way that you allowed your own thoughts, people or events to influence your life. Don’t worry if you have a few relapses while you learn to master this method. Allow your relapses to remind you that the way to go is the three second method. 

Rene

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The THREE SECONDS formula that will change your life

The THREE SECONDS formula that will change your life

The THREE SECONDS formula that will change your life

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READ THE SERIES – LINKS BELOW

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Part 2 – The THREE SECONDS formula that will change your life!

https://eagleman6788.wordpress.com/2015/03/24/part-2-the-three-seconds-formula-that-will-change-your-life/

PART 3 – The THREE SECONDS formula that will change your life

https://eagleman6788.wordpress.com/2015/03/26/the-three-seconds-formula-that-will-change-your-life-part-3/

Part 4 – The THREE SECONDS formula that will change your life

https://eagleman6788.wordpress.com/2015/03/28/part-4-the-three-seconds-formula-that-will-change-your-life/

PART 5 – The THREE SECONDS formula that will change your life

https://eagleman6788.wordpress.com/2015/03/29/part-5-the-three-seconds-formula-that-will-change-your-life/

PART 6 – The THREE SECONDS formula that will change your life

https://eagleman6788.wordpress.com/2015/03/30/part-6-the-three-seconds-formula-that-will-change-your-life/

PART 7 – The THREE SECONDS formula that will change your life

https://eagleman6788.wordpress.com/2015/04/01/part-7-the-three-seconds-formula-that-will-change-your-life/

PART 8 – The THREE SECONDS formula that will change your life

https://eagleman6788.wordpress.com/2015/04/03/part-8-the-three-seconds-formula-that-will-change-your-life/

PART 9 – The THREE SECONDS formula that will change your life

https://eagleman6788.wordpress.com/2015/04/07/part-9-the-three-seconds-formula-that-will-change-your-life/

PART 10 – The THREE SECONDS formula that will change your life

https://eagleman6788.wordpress.com/2015/04/10/part-10-the-three-seconds-formula-that-will-change-your-life/

 
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Posted by on February 20, 2018 in WISDOM

 

Life would be senseless/meaningless without problems/hardships/setbacks and obstacles.

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Humans enjoy playing board or computer games, provided the games are difficult and there are obstacles. We enjoy planning, scheming, being tested and challenged in order to finish the game. The challenges and obstacles make the game enjoyable and hook us to play for hours. Life would be senseless and meaningless without problems, hardships, setbacks and obstacles. Without the crises we experience, we will not appreciate the successes or peak experiences. The Chinese symbol for crisis comprises two characters, namely danger and opportunity. Every crisis may elicit feelings of apprehension, but it also presents an opportunity for change, growth and self-mastery. We do not always understand why certain difficult people come into our life, but there are no coincidences.

 

We do not always believe or accept that every person comes into our lives for a reason. We do not make mistakes or poor decisions because everything that happens to us, happens for a purpose and can be perceived as a lesson. The universe will present you with the problems and challenges that you need for your spiritual growth. Every situation, especially the adverse situations, is an opportunity to learn and to discover who you really are. If people betray or hurt you, it may be to teach you about trust or forgiveness. When faced with adversity, you have the opportunity to develop qualities such as inner strength, courage, resilience, self-discipline, willpower and resourcefulness. When people disappoint, manipulate or use you, they present you with opportunities to control your temper, to transcend your ego and to develop qualities such as patience, tolerance, unconditional love or forgiveness. Difficult people give you the opportunity to behave pro-actively and to access more light in order to attain self-mastery.

Susan Minnaar

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Posted by on February 19, 2018 in WISDOM

 

We live in a world of CAUSE and EFFECT.

It is not God or Satan that produce the negative and destructive outcomes in your life. You act or fail to act and in this manner set in motion a sequence of outcomes or events. It is silly to praise God when you WIN or BLAME Satan when you FAIL. It is even crazier to think that God is punishing you for your shortcomings or sins. This mode of thinking place you in a no win mental jail. We simply live in a world of cause and effect. Less acceptable choices lead to uncomfortable outcomes. We are at earth school and learn lessons from our failures and poor choices. Our comfort and discomfort is a wonderful guide that show us the way to a more happy and successful life. God also do not involve himself in sport. It is mind blowing that players and teams think that God is on their side and will assist them to grind their opponents into the dust or give them victory as a bonus for good behavior. This is nothing more than superstitions that developed a long time ago.

Rene

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Posted by on February 19, 2018 in WISDOM

 

Both parties usually view themselves as the victim during disputes.

17219-personal_emergency_fund_savings

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Both parties usually view themselves as victim during disputes. They often place one hundred percent of the blame on the other party. Potential disputes should be addressed before they become like a run-away brush fire. If have  never mediated in any dispute where one party was hundred percent to blame.

Rene

 
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Posted by on February 19, 2018 in WISDOM

 
 
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