Detach from the software that governs all your actions and reactions.


Many of us feel that we are a victim of our circumstances. It is easy to blame others for our mistakes or for the discomfort that we experience. What we fail to acknowledge is that we more often than not have ample opportunities to terminate a drama that we are faced with, but for reasons unknown to us allow them to invade our space (world). Not many understand that there is a software program stored in our mind that kicks in and provide us with a set of direction on how we should act or react when faced with specific circumstances. Who uploaded these programs into our sub-conscious minds? It was our parents and everyone else that had access to our mind in our formative years. The reason why we continue to repeat the same patterns, rituals and mistakes is the “automatic reaction patterns” explained above. You are not going to make better choices and create a better quality life for yourself until you detach from the software that governs all your actions and reactions. The key is not to write a better defensive or offensive program, but to grasp that you are not the programs in your head. You are a spiritual being that are trapped by all these negative and destructive reactions patterns that took on a life of its own (ego). The real spiritual you will experience whatever you are presented with in a detached manner. The real you will learn from these experiences and move on. 


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Posted by on February 19, 2018 in WISDOM


Once a child has taken up an I AM PERCEPTION, they construct their views/match PERCEPTION.


The concept of life positions is another basic idea from transactional analysis theory. Life positions works with the assumption that we choose very early on in our life, before age 2, a basic stance towards ourselves and other people. It represents the fundamental stance a person takes about the essential value he or she perceives in him or herself and other people. Once a child has taken up a favorite position, they’re likely to construct the rest of their world view to match that life position. One could therefore also see a life position as one of the first scrip decisions a person makes.


Another way of saying the same thing is that our life position is like a set of glasses through which we see the world. If we end up with gray tinted glasses the whole world will look gray to us. If they are clear, we can see ourselves and the world as things are, good and bad, but mostly all sorts of colors and shapes.


The following diagram is called “The OK Corral” by Franklin Ernst (with some of my own adaptations). It shows the four basic life positions we can assume:


“I am ok, you are ok,” which is short for “I am ok with myself and with you too.”


“I am ok, you are not ok,” short for “I am ok, but I can’t rely on or trust you. I feel there is something wrong with other people around me.”


“I am not ok, you are ok,” short for “There is something fundamentally wrong with me, but everybody else is ok.”


“I am not ok, you are not ok,” short for “There is something fundamentally wrong with me and other people are unreliable, untrustworthy, wrong in some way too.”


It’s easy to see that the best place to come from is “‘I am ok, you are ok!”


I am not ok, you are ok
(Therefore the best I can do is to get away from others or hide myself)


I am ok, you are ok
(Therefore you and me can get on with being open with each other)


I am not ok, you are not ok
(Therefore there is no hope. I can never be ok nor could you give me what I need)


I am ok, you are not ok
(Therefore I best get rid of you to be ok)



Have a look at the diagram and think about your general stance in life. As adults, we don’t stay in one position all the time, but we shift between positions. Each of the childhood positions, which are a result of the quality of life and relationships we have experienced as a child, is reflected in grown-up life by a particular kind of social interaction, which acts under stress as a default pattern (e.g. the “getting on with” pattern of the “I am ok you are ok” position). Although we may have a default position due to childhood circumstances, we also have a choice of using our Adult ego state to stay in “I am ok, you are ok” as grown ups. By staying in “I am ok you are ok” we invite the best possible outcome, because we are expecting good things to happen and for other people to be reliable and trustworthy.


Your life position might be most apparent in your intimate relationship, because that’s where the stakes are highest. Additionally, we use the old attachment styles we learned as children to attach to our partners in the present. The “I am ok you are ok” position is the one which correlates with a secure attachment pattern, the others all expect abandonment, attack or rejection. If you do relate to your partner either generally or when things get tough, e.g. during arguments or absences, from a position that isn’t “I am ok, you are ok” you are expecting to get hurt due to an old pattern (also see script and transference). Unfortunately, our defensive styles often tend to invite what we most fear. If we keep putting ourselves down or not standing up for ourselves, because we relate to our partner from an “I am not ok, you are ok” position, the other person might finally get annoyed about our lack of self-confidence or indecisiveness.


It is important that you find a way to relate from an “I am ok you are ok” position as much as possible to your partner. And that he or she relates in the same way to you. Only then are you in a place where you can trust and respect yourself and the other person and you can be secure in knowing that you both are committed to working things out together when things get tough.



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Posted by on February 18, 2018 in WISDOM


It is futile/try and heal the warped perception who you think you are.



I am going to share with you something that very few authors shared with their readers before. Many of the so-called gurus and world renown speakers that wrote a lot more books than me fail to share the ultimate tool with their readers and audiences. It can be ignorance or a lack of insight that cause this oversight or it can even be that they want their readers and audiences to remain reliant on them because it is good for business.

Look at the graph of the inner and outer or perfect self before you continue reading my prescription. You will notice that you have the perfect self at your core that is in turn layered by you false (impostor) self. You were pure perfect self at birth. Look at the characteristics that you were programmed with. Now look at the outer layer that envelope your perfect self and study the various characteristics depicted in this layer. You are an extension of God on your arrival, but get exposed to those that either out of habit or fear feels that you need to be domesticated so you can one day like them fit into society.

 You are conditioned by these enthusiastic programmers with a pain and pleasure method. When you acted as prescribed you were praised and when you fell short of their requirements you were punished physically or mentally. You gradually concluded that you are this defective false self that daily fall short of the hundred and one rules and regulations that they hammered into you. It did not take them long to get you to forget who you are and where you came from. Try as you may you continuously fell short of the requirements.

Read the characteristics again and you will see with what flawed perceptions you were left to take on the world. It is impossible for you to improve the false self or the impostor.  The impostor cannot become the perfect self. You can read your holy books and pray until you wear out your knees my friend. You can go to the so-called gurus that claim that they can miraculously transform the soiled and defective false self daily. You might for relative short periods experience an improvement, but will discover that the old false self program will kick in the moment you stop fighting and praying.

I am going to state this again. You cannot transform or modify the false self. The false self is not alive like the true self and connected to God. The false self (your ego) is like a virus that infiltrated your computer. It cannot perform at the level of the perfect self. All it does is to disrupt all your good intentions with its poison when triggered. The solution is thus not to try and improve your false self or the false self of anybody else. You are attempting the impossible if you sustain this fallacy. Disappointment and guilt will follow you around like a stray dog for as long as you live.

You also do not need a savoir my friend. Your real self is already an extension of God and the false self with its pathetic history is nothing more than defective software. Your biggest day since your birth is the day that you grasp what I am sharing with you here. The day you grasp this extremely important lesson is the day that you wake up to your full potential. You are not the perceptions that you formed about yourself. Who you currently think depict who you are is nothing more than a historical data file in your head. You can never remedy this cluster of thoughts or repair your historical mistakes. It is futile to try and heal the warped perception that dominated who you think you are that were formed since early childhood.

Most gurus, motivational speakers and authors use and abuse you. This guilt drenched warped image cannot adjusted to match the perfect and effective spiritual being that they use as bait. This cluster of historical perceptions is nothing more than your ego based self. You are here at earth school to evolve and learn. You are not the depicted sinner that usually does the best you can with what you know. My friend stuff will continue to happen to you and you are here to learn how to deal with it.  


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Posted by on February 18, 2018 in WISDOM


Admit your MISTAKES without trying to JUSTIFY these errors.


One of the most corrosive things many of us do is that we often rationalise perceived mistakes we made. I am often astounded with the justifications that some people come up when they fall short of their own or other’s expectations. They will find something or someone to blame. They often blame the weather, racism, historical disadvantages, God or Satan, the government, the recipe, fellow workers, the children, their partner etc. What we fail to understand is that rationalisation fortifies our habit of living a life of RESISTANCE. Did it ever cross your mind that mistakes you make or events where you fail to conclude a project successfully is a wonderful opportunity to learn and grow?

The word “sin” originally simply meant that a person fell short of the expectation (goal) that he was expected to achieve. It is only when devious and clever operators noticed the wonderful opportunity to use failure as a mind control system that the concept of sin took on the horrific dimensions still used in many religions. People were made to feel like shit when they once again fell short of the so-called requirements that God personally cast in stone. What amplified the fear of sinning and letting God down was the absolute nonsense preached that nobody can escape the all seeing eye of God. People became devious and began to hide, rationalise and justify their failures.

Children that have strict and obsessive parents soon discover that telling the truth can turn into a fairly unpleasant experience. They soon develop a wide range of justifications and rationalisation that would make a judge scratch his head. Some children can think up excuses and reasons for poor performance or a lack of progress that would make most defence attorneys blush. Something else that must be kept in mind is that all of us look at life through our own filter systems. We see our own perceptions and real and valid and often cannot see anything from other’s perspectives. We become mentally blind and cannot for a moment contemplate why someone is making such a fuss about a perceived mistake we made. Empathy (putting you in other’s shoes) fell apart over the years. Showing empathy means that you admit to your mistakes and as explained earlier could lead to pain and punishment. Every time we get away with the justifications we make up we entrench ourselves deeper in our castle of RESISTANCE.

The problem with “making up stories and justifications” is that we must suddenly remember what bullshit story we used to cover up our dispositions. The joke is that we begin to believe our own stories and will often be prepared to fight to the death to keep what really happened under wraps. Admitting mistakes we made provide wonderful learning opportunities and at the same time extract the toxic substance that accompanies whatever transpired. We came to this dimension to experience and to grow. The mistakes we make are wonderful opportunities to learn and to expand our self-image and self-esteem. You can save lots of time, tap dancing and frustration if you admit your mistake and offer to remedy whatever damage you caused. There are parent that strongly insist that their children tell them the truth (and nothing but the truth).

Children are often confronted by hair raising performances by their parents when they dare to tell the truth. Their mother begin to hyperventilate while she rips bundles of hair out of her sculpt while the father clutch his chest while he whisper and wheeze how he is going to beat the child up and force him to stay in his room for fifteen years. Let’s be honest. Very few children will continue to admit to mistakes after a few dramatic performances by his or her parents. Children later become adults and even later parents. They in turn duplicate the examples set by their parents and in the process produce a new generation of children that RESIST admitting mistakes that also find it impossible to show empathy to those that they harmed in with a mistake they made. The solution is to “tell it like it is” and let the chips fall where they may.


Spend today and see if you notice how you or others justify and rationalise when mistakes are made. See how service staff blame the computer when the messed up your account. See how incompetent mechanics flounder and lie when you question the quality of work they did on your vehicle. Try a few time to admit your mistakes without trying to justify these errors. You might shock a few individuals that are not used to hearing the truth – but do it anyway.



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Posted by on February 17, 2018 in WISDOM


LIVE a wonderful/successful life by living your life ONE MOMENT at a time.



Set yourself free my dear friend. You do not need to live your life in fear to be a wonderful and caring individual. You can be compassionate and supportive to everyone that cross your path daily, not because you attempt to qualify for heaven or attempt to escape hell. You can do it because it’s the right thing to do. You can live a wonderful and successful life by living your life ONE MOMENT at a time. Do not fear the future or what might happen when you expire. Stop minimizing yourself because you feel you were born in sin according to the myth. Surviving daily in this dimension is difficult enough. Why load all the speculative garbage on your shoulders while you stagger around trying to appease the imaginary God that you have been sold on since early childhood? All you have is this moment my friend. Be the best you can be, not because you fear God, but because you understand that the quality of your choices and actions today will confront you tomorrow. It is not God that is punishing you. It is the choices that you made yesterday that you are faced with today.



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Posted by on February 17, 2018 in WISDOM


North Korean Film Madness.



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Posted by on February 17, 2018 in WISDOM


Snake temple in south India.


Devotees of Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji believe they must control the animal instincts of Pride/Ego, Anger/Temper, Greed/Urges, Attachment/Dependency and Lust/Addiction. Sikhs should take Amrit and read Gurbani. Lust, anger, egotism, jealousy and desire are only eliminated by chanting the Name of the Lord.


The Code of Manu states, “In childhood a female must be subject to her father, in youth to her husband, then to her sons; a woman must never be independent. There is no God on earth for a woman than her husband…..She must on the death of her husband allow herself to be burnt alive on the same funeral pyre. That everyone will praise her virtue.”

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Posted by on February 16, 2018 in WISDOM

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