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Being assertive doesn’t have anything to do with winning arguments or being right.

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Interview with Barbara Berger by Tim Ray - The Awakening Human Being

Working with clients every day has made us realize that so many of us have problems with having healthy boundaries, setting limits and saying no. Here’s an article from Barbara about some of the ways in which you can take better care of yourself by having healthy boundaries and setting limits. Enjoy!

 

“Good ways to say no, disagree and set limits

by best selling author – Barbara Berger

 

I’ve discovered that it’s usually possible to say no, set limits and disagree with other people if you can say it in the right way. (Unless of course the other person is drunk, violent or out of control. Then the best thing you can do is remove yourself from the situation as fast as possible.)

   But in general, many of our problems in communicating with other people in ordinary, everyday situations arise from the fact that we never learned how to communicate in a good way and be assertive. When you learn to do this, you will find it’s much easier to disagree with other people, say no, take good care of yourself, and set limits.

   So how does this work?

   Whenever someone comes at your with their stuff, here’s a good way to deal with them. You reply with sentences that are made up of two parts.  In the first part of the sentence, you acknowledge that you heard the other person and in the second part of the sentence, you deliver your response. So your reply goes something like:

–          I can understand that you feel that way – and this is really not something for me.

–          Yes I can relate to what you’re saying – and I’m really not interested.

–          Thank you for thinking of me – and no thanks.

   This is a skilful way to deal with whatever people are saying or asking because you begin by acknowledging that you hear them and that you understand what they’re saying (and even appreciate their concern). And then once you let the person know that, you can come with your response which is your no or your disagreement or you setting limits.

   Here are some more examples:

   Example one:

   Other person: “Barbara, we’re really counting on your coming to our little get-together on Friday. It will be good for you to get out and meet some new people.”

   My response: “Thank you so much for thinking of me and I can’t make it that evening.”

   Other person: “But Barbara, we’re counting on your coming.”

   My response: “I really appreciate you’re thinking of me and I can’t come that evening.”

   If the person keeps on, you just keep repeating what you said. Sooner or later the other person will give up.

   Example two:

   Other person: “Barbara, I think you should take that job, it would be good for you.”

   My response: “Yes I can relate to what you’re saying and it’s simply not for me.”

   Other person: “But Barbara, can’t you see what a great job opportunity this would be for you. You could learn so much.”

   My response: “Yes thank you for thinking of me and it’s simply not for me.”

   When you take care of yourself assertively in this way, it’s good to remember the other person probably won’t agree with you and doesn’t have to. Being assertive doesn’t have anything to do with winning arguments or being right. Being assertive is about expressing your point of view and taking care of yourself. It’s not about winning and losing. So be willing to hear and acknowledge the other person’s point of view (“you could be right”) and then clearly state your own position (“and it’s not for me”). When you have stated your position, don’t expect the other person to agree with you. He or she probably won’t. In fact expect the other person to argue with you or ask you again for whatever they are trying to convince you of. Again, when you have heard what they say, you can just repeat your own position or point of view again, kindly but firmly. You don’t have to come up with new explanations or arguments, just repeat what you said before. “Thank you so much for thinking of me, I really appreciate it, and I can’t come Friday evening.”  Just stay in your own business and repeat your own position. Remember – you are responsible for your feelings and opinions about the matter. The other person is responsible for his or her feelings and opinions about the matter. Each person has a right to his/her feelings and opinions. You don’t have to justify, offer explanations or find excuses for your choices, opinions, beliefs or behaviour  (You might want to explain but the important point to remember is that you don’t have to. You have the right to be you!)

   So to summarize, here are the main points to keep in mind:

–          State your position as clearly as you can.

–          Be kind but firm.

–          Don’t expect the other person to agree with you.

–          Be willing to hear the other person’s point of view.

–          Don’t be afraid to repeat yourself, kindly but firmly.

–          Don’t attack or criticize the other person.

–          Stay in your own business.

–          You are responsible for your feelings about the matter.

–          The other person is responsible for his/her feelings about the matter.

–          You don’t need to offer explanations or excuses for your choices, opinions or behaviour.

–          Show the other person you hear them and understand what they are saying.

–          Don’t make the other person wrong just because he/she doesn’t agree with you.

–          Don’t make yourself wrong (or criticize or excuse yourself).

Here are some more some more good ways to acknowledge the other person’s point of view while maintaining your own rights, position, and point of view. You can say things like:

–          I can understand that you feel that way and in my experience, I find that…

–          You could be right and I prefer to do it this way….

–          I can understand your point of view and I would rather not …

–          I really appreciate your feelings (point of view) in this matter and I still…

–          I am inclined to agree with you and I am going to decline your kind offer…

–          I sympathize with you and I would rather…

–          I appreciate your thinking of me and the answer is no.

And finally, learning to say no, set limits and be assertive like this takes practice. It’s not something one learns in a day or two, it really does take practice. In the beginning, it can often help to write things down so you can remind yourself of what you want to say when you know you’re going to be talking to someone you have difficulty saying no to.

   And for beginners, when someone comes at you and catches you off guard with a request and you’re not sure how to respond – another good technique is to ask for a “time out”. So to go back to example one, here’s how a “time-out” works:

Example one:

   Other person: “Barbara, we’re really counting on your coming to our little get-together on Friday. It will be good for you to get out and meet some new people.”

   My response: “I really appreciate your thinking of me; let me look at my calendar and I’ll get back to you tomorrow.”

   Other person: “But Barbara, we’re counting on your coming.”

   My response: “I really appreciate you’re thinking of me and I’ll get back to you tomorrow.”

   By postponing your response in this way, you give yourself time to plan how to deal with the situation assertively when you call back and respond.

Barbara talks about taking better care of yourself on Reality Spirituality radio

You can also hear Barbara talking about how we can take better care of ourselves on Rebecca Norrington’s talk show from Los Angeles.

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Click here to listen in.

www.beamteam.com

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Posted by on January 27, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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Book Review – The Adventures of Pebble Beach – Best Selling Author – Barbara Berger

Cover Pebble Beach 2

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An honest, fun, full-throttle story of a newly divorced woman throwing herself back into life…without a safety net!

.

Attracted to the wrong men and don’t understand why? Afraid of being alone, getting older and losing your sex appeal? A little sex crazed (or a lot)? And still dreaming of a man who can save you from your life?

Chick Lit meets Self-Help in this high-spirited tale of a newly divorced, 40-something woman with two teenage sons who is trying to take control of her life, her sex-crazed body, and her new relationships with men – while struggling to build a career in advertising in the big city (plus going to quite a few therapy sessions). 

Until one day an unsavoury business scandal threatens to ruin the burgeoning career of our brave heroine…

.

REVIEWS & ENDORSEMENTS

  • A SINGLE LIFE SEEN FROM INSIDE Are you the type that is attracted to the wrong men – and do you do the most insane things to keep your relationships with them anyway? Are you terrified by the thought of being an old, wrinkled raisin that no man will ever want? And are you – once in a while – just a little hungry after sex? Yes? Well then you will really be able to identify with Pebble Beach. She is in her mid-40s, newly divorced, and mother of two teenage boys. She is struggling to make a career for herself as a copywriter. At the same time she’s trying – using all the tricks of the game – to make it as a single woman. Or in reality she’s trying to find a new man – but in fact it’s really going rather poorly on all fronts. “Single for the Second Time” is written by Barbara Berger, the woman who’s written more than 10 self-help books so among other things, the reader closely follows Pebble Beach as she goes through an intense therapy process in her search to find herself. The book makes you laugh, cry and think as well. It touches on themes like addictive relationships, low self-esteem, alcoholism and poor communication in an entertaining yet serious tone. A good and informative book for singles – and for those who don’t understand single women! ~ Bibi, Danish weekly magazine Søndag

.

MY REVIEW

.

  • I finished reading your book last night. I found this book dynamic, intense, stimulating and a real depiction of the complicated lives we all tend to create for ourselves. Pebble only took her power back after reaching a saturation point, a point where she mastered her “fear of loss”. It is astounding to read how her compulsive desire to please positioned herself in mortal danger. You succeeded extremely well with your depiction of her mental blindness and inability to identify individuals or situations that added very little or no value to her life. Most of us tend to see only what we want to see in others. This goes for everything else in life. You brilliantly displayed the horrific price Pebble paid before she woke up to her real potential. I loved how you shared her self-talk and futile attempts to make sense of the games that she became embroiled in. What I found enlightening and disturbing is that you will find a Pebble drama in every building, home or office that you observe when you look out of your window. You will without doubt discover the Pebble Beach in yourself when you turn away from the window and look in a mirror. Your subliminal ability to leave your reader with a question in his mind about his own compulsive and often obsessive behaviour in certain areas of his life gives this book longevity. It will be an idiot that reads this book and then sends it off to a second hand book shop. I recommend that we as readers take Pebble Beach off the shelf when we find ourselves struggling and straining to make sense of anything or anyone. This amazing book will then remind us once again where we allowed ourselves to get sucked in by illusions created in our futile minds that might once again return to our old and outdated software that we operated on historically. (Habitual reaction Patterns). The real value of The Adventures of Pebble Beach is that you learn and gain insight without even being aware of it. You become so embroiled by Pebble’s adventures that you fail to grasp that you are at the same time busy with a purification process while you load wisdom and insight into your sub-conscious archives.

Rene

.

READ MORE ABOUT THIS BOOK AND OTHER WORKS HER ON OWN BLOG AT THE LINK BELOW

.

http://adventuresofpebblebeach.com/

.

You can read a portion of a chapter at the following link

.

https://eagleman6788.wordpress.com/2012/04/22/part-15-the-adventures-of-pebble-beach-by-barbara-berger/

www.beamteam.com

.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on December 1, 2014 in WISDOM

 

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THE MENTAL LAWS – BY MY FRIEND/INTERNATIONAL BEST SELLING AUTHOR – Barbara Berger.

 

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The Law of Focus

Read about the important “Law of Focus” and what it means for us in practice:

Law 6: THE LAW OF FOCUS

What you focus your attention on grows

This law teaches us that whatever we focus our attention on grows.

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   This is a far-reaching and very empowering discovery. It means we energize whatever we focus our attention on. Our attention “brings to life” out of the vast field of infinite energy or pure potentiality whatever we focus on. This has now been confirmed by Quantum mechanics which has proven that observation by a conscious observer is responsible for the collapse of the wave function (Heisenberg principle) into actual particles in the field of potentiality. In other words, the waves of energy or potential that make up the field of reality that we live and move and breathe in become actual time-space events when they are observed. This is how phenomenon pops out of the field when we focus our attention on it.

 

The power of attention

Attention, it seems, is the magic wand of creation—at least when it comes to your experiences and mine! So let me ask you—how are you using your power of attention? How are you using this, amazing ability, this priceless gift?

   Are you focusing on difficulties, lack, and illness or are you focusing on all the blessings in your life right now? What exactly are you doing? If you want to live a happy live, it’s important to take the time to take a good look at exactly what you are doing. Ask yourself—what is the general tone of your thinking? Is it a prayerful song of gratitude from morning to evening for the blessings of life—or is it one long complaint? And what is your experience? If you look carefully (and are honest) you will see that your experience is a perfect reflection of your focus. Always! And again this is because thought is cause and experience is effect. So when we look at the power of our thinking in terms of what we focus on, we see it is all about learning to use the power of our attention wisely. This is an extremely important key when it comes to understanding why our lives are like they are. And it’s also extremely empowering because we can learn to consciously direct the power of our focus.

   So let’s look more closely at this phenomenon.

 

Focusing on this moment

Here’s a big one. What is the general drift or tendency of your mental life? Do you spend a lot of time dwelling on the past? Or are you one of those people who is always worrying about the future? And does the thought of the future give you anxiety and sleepless nights? So much so that you fail to actually notice this moment?

   Or do you actually notice this moment? Are you mindful enough to actually be able to focus enough on what is happening right now? Are you able to actually experience and enjoy this moment? It’s embarrassing but the honest truth is that most of us have a pretty hard time doing this. Most of us spend most of our lives somewhere else (at least in thought)!

   And frankly, you might not even be conscious of what you are doing. And if you’re not conscious of what you are doing, you might not be aware of the fact that you actually have a choice! You might not realize that you can actually choose what you focus your attention on. But of course to do this, you must first notice what you’re actually doing. So you have to start by watching yourself for a while so you become aware of the general drift or tendency of your daily thinking. Once you become aware of this, you can begin to exercise the power of choice and begin to consciously choose what you focus your attention on.

   And yes, it sounds simple, but it’s not always easy to do—especially in the beginning. And no, there’s isn’t any magic wand or secret formula that makes this happen all at once and forever. Rather learning to focus the power of your attention is a lifelong project.

   But don’t despair! Just the fact that you are becoming aware of your thoughts and how you are using the power of focus is a great step forward. Especially if you can see that you are using the power of your attention in a negative way. This awareness means you are beginning to understand the way the mind works and that you are more and more able to see the cause and effect relationship between your thoughts and your experiences. This is crucial if you want to become the master of your focus.

   It’s also important to realize that choosing our focus is our only freedom. This is where we exercise our free will. So keep noticing what you are doing and keep practicing. Make up your mind to focus on the Highest and Best you can conceive of. And do it again. And again! This is the magic and joy of life. This is the great adventure. So enjoy your adventure and enjoy learning. Amazing things will happen as you become better and better at focusing on the wonder of this moment!

 

Focus and health

What is your focus when it comes to your health? This is a very interesting and challenging question for most of us. When you’re not feeling well, do you focus on every ache and pain—or do you focus on the wonderful strength and healing power of your body and of Life itself? You can see this is a most important question and crucial choice, especially when we know that whatever we focus our attention on grows.

   According to the law of focus, if we feel weak and then focus our attention on feeling weak, we will feel even weaker. Because whatever we focus our attention on grows. And if that is the case, then the reverse must also be true. If we focus on strength—on whatever strength we do have—we will feel stronger. Which means we have an amazing power at our disposal in terms of health and healing—so why not use it?

   When you think about it, it’s quite fascinating to realize that we have this amazing power at our disposal and we’re not using it! How can it be that we’re not using this priceless gift? Obviously because most of us don’t know about the power of focus! We don’t know it exists because nobody taught us how the mind works. So we don’t recognize this power or understand what it is and how to use it. Instead we are walking around in a daze, asleep to our true power.

   But now you are waking up! So claim your true power and think about the law of focus when you’re feeling ill. And use this wonderful power wisely. Watch yourself carefully and see what you are thinking and saying and focusing your attention on. And if you discover that you are sabotaging yourself and your recovery, you can start changing your focus now! It’s never too late.

 

Focus and challenges

The same holds true for all the many challenges and so-called problems we face in our daily lives. What is the focus of our attention when we face so-called difficulties? Do we focus on the potential in each situation and how everything in life is supporting us or do we focus on the hassle, the inconvenience, and the irritation? When you know about the power of focus, you can see how important your choice is.

   So make up your mind that whatever it is, you are going to grow stronger because of it and evolve into a more magnanimous and compassionate person—and watch yourself turn every situation into a true blessing, for yourself and everyone involved!

 

It’s your choice

So we see that what we focus our attention on grows. You focus your attention on something/someone/some thought and then you get to experience what you focused on.

   It is also important to remember that the focus of our attention is always our choice—always! We are the choice-makers—always—whether we are conscious of what we are choosing/doing or not.

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Click here to download The Mental Laws for free.

FOR MORE ABOUT HER BOOK GO TO THE FOLLOWING LINK!

www.beamteam.com

 
1 Comment

Posted by on May 16, 2014 in WISDOM

 

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Book Review – The Adventures of Pebble Beach – My friend – Best Selling Author – Barbara Berger.

 

Cover Pebble Beach 2

.

An honest, fun, full-throttle story of a newly divorced woman throwing herself back into life…without a safety net!

.

Attracted to the wrong men and don’t understand why? Afraid of being alone, getting older and losing your sex appeal? A little sex crazed (or a lot)? And still dreaming of a man who can save you from your life?

Chick Lit meets Self-Help in this high-spirited tale of a newly divorced, 40-something woman with two teenage sons who is trying to take control of her life, her sex-crazed body, and her new relationships with men – while struggling to build a career in advertising in the big city (plus going to quite a few therapy sessions). 

Until one day an unsavoury business scandal threatens to ruin the burgeoning career of our brave heroine…

.

REVIEWS & ENDORSEMENTS

  • A SINGLE LIFE SEEN FROM INSIDE Are you the type that is attracted to the wrong men – and do you do the most insane things to keep your relationships with them anyway? Are you terrified by the thought of being an old, wrinkled raisin that no man will ever want? And are you – once in a while – just a little hungry after sex? Yes? Well then you will really be able to identify with Pebble Beach. She is in her mid-40s, newly divorced, and mother of two teenage boys. She is struggling to make a career for herself as a copywriter. At the same time she’s trying – using all the tricks of the game – to make it as a single woman. Or in reality she’s trying to find a new man – but in fact it’s really going rather poorly on all fronts. “Single for the Second Time” is written by Barbara Berger, the woman who’s written more than 10 self-help books so among other things, the reader closely follows Pebble Beach as she goes through an intense therapy process in her search to find herself. The book makes you laugh, cry and think as well. It touches on themes like addictive relationships, low self-esteem, alcoholism and poor communication in an entertaining yet serious tone. A good and informative book for singles – and for those who don’t understand single women! ~ Bibi, Danish weekly magazine Søndag

.

MY REVIEW

.

  • I finished reading your book last night. I found this book dynamic, intense, stimulating and a real depiction of the complicated lives we all tend to create for ourselves. Pebble only took her power back after reaching a saturation point, a point where she mastered her “fear of loss”. It is astounding to read how her compulsive desire to please positioned herself in mortal danger. You succeeded extremely well with your depiction of her mental blindness and inability to identify individuals or situations that added very little or no value to her life. Most of us tend to see only what we want to see in others. This goes for everything else in life. You brilliantly displayed the horrific price Pebble paid before she woke up to her real potential. I loved how you shared her self-talk and futile attempts to make sense of the games that she became embroiled in. What I found enlightening and disturbing is that you will find a Pebble drama in every building, home or office that you observe when you look out of your window. You will without doubt discover the Pebble Beach in yourself when you turn away from the window and look in a mirror. Your subliminal ability to leave your reader with a question in his mind about his own compulsive and often obsessive behaviour in certain areas of his life gives this book longevity. It will be an idiot that reads this book and then sends it off to a second hand book shop. I recommend that we as readers take Pebble Beach off the shelf when we find ourselves struggling and straining to make sense of anything or anyone. This amazing book will then remind us once again where we allowed ourselves to get sucked in by illusions created in our futile minds that might once again return to our old and outdated software that we operated on historically. (Habitual reaction Patterns). The real value of The Adventures of Pebble Beach is that you learn and gain insight without even being aware of it. You become so embroiled by Pebble’s adventures that you fail to grasp that you are at the same time busy with a purification process while you load wisdom and insight into your sub-conscious archives.

Rene

.

READ MORE ABOUT THIS BOOK AND OTHER WORKS HER ON OWN BLOG AT THE LINK BELOW

.

http://adventuresofpebblebeach.com/

.

You can read a portion of a chapter at the following link

.

https://eagleman6788.wordpress.com/2012/04/22/part-15-the-adventures-of-pebble-beach-by-barbara-berger/

www.beamteam.com

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on April 30, 2014 in WISDOM

 

Tags: , , , ,

Book Review – The Adventures of Pebble Beach.

 

Cover Pebble Beach 2

.

An honest, fun, full-throttle story of a newly divorced woman throwing herself back into life…without a safety net!

.

Attracted to the wrong men and don’t understand why? Afraid of being alone, getting older and losing your sex appeal? A little sex crazed (or a lot)? And still dreaming of a man who can save you from your life?

Chick Lit meets Self-Help in this high-spirited tale of a newly divorced, 40-something woman with two teenage sons who is trying to take control of her life, her sex-crazed body, and her new relationships with men – while struggling to build a career in advertising in the big city (plus going to quite a few therapy sessions). 

Until one day an unsavoury business scandal threatens to ruin the burgeoning career of our brave heroine…

 

REVIEWS & ENDORSEMENTS

.

  • A SINGLE LIFE SEEN FROM INSIDE Are you the type that is attracted to the wrong men – and do you do the most insane things to keep your relationships with them anyway? Are you terrified by the thought of being an old, wrinkled raisin that no man will ever want? And are you – once in a while – just a little hungry after sex? Yes? Well then you will really be able to identify with Pebble Beach. She is in her mid-40s, newly divorced, and mother of two teenage boys. She is struggling to make a career for herself as a copywriter. At the same time she’s trying – using all the tricks of the game – to make it as a single woman. Or in reality she’s trying to find a new man – but in fact it’s really going rather poorly on all fronts. “Single for the Second Time” is written by Barbara Berger, the woman who’s written more than 10 self-help books so among other things, the reader closely follows Pebble Beach as she goes through an intense therapy process in her search to find herself. The book makes you laugh, cry and think as well. It touches on themes like addictive relationships, low self-esteem, alcoholism and poor communication in an entertaining yet serious tone. A good and informative book for singles – and for those who don’t understand single women! ~ Bibi, Danish weekly magazine Søndag

.

MY REVIEW

.

  • I finished reading your book last night. I found this book dynamic, intense, stimulating and a real depiction of the complicated lives we all tend to create for ourselves. Pebble only took her power back after reaching a saturation point, a point where she mastered her “fear of loss”. It is astounding to read how her compulsive desire to please positioned herself in mortal danger. You succeeded extremely well with your depiction of her mental blindness and inability to identify individuals or situations that added very little or no value to her life. Most of us tend to see only what we want to see in others. This goes for everything else in life. You brilliantly displayed the horrific price Pebble paid before she woke up to her real potential. I loved how you shared her self-talk and futile attempts to make sense of the games that she became embroiled in. What I found enlightening and disturbing is that you will find a Pebble drama in every building, home or office that you observe when you look out of your window. You will without doubt discover the Pebble Beach in yourself when you turn away from the window and look in a mirror. Your subliminal ability to leave your reader with a question in his mind about his own compulsive and often obsessive behaviour in certain areas of his life gives this book longevity. It will be an idiot that reads this book and then sends it off to a second hand book shop. I recommend that we as readers take Pebble Beach off the shelf when we find ourselves struggling and straining to make sense of anything or anyone. This amazing book will then remind us once again where we allowed ourselves to get sucked in by illusions created in our futile minds that might once again return to our old and outdated software that we operated on historically. (Habitual reaction Patterns). The real value of The Adventures of Pebble Beach is that you learn and gain insight without even being aware of it. You become so embroiled by Pebble’s adventures that you fail to grasp that you are at the same time busy with a purification process while you load wisdom and insight into your sub-conscious archives.

Rene

.

You can read a portion of a chapter at the following link

.

https://eagleman6788.wordpress.com/2012/04/22/part-15-the-adventures-of-pebble-beach-by-barbara-berger/

www.beamteam.com

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on April 2, 2014 in WISDOM

 

Tags: , , , ,

Book Review – An honest, fun, full-throttle story of a newly divorced woman throwing herself back into life…without a safety net!

 

Cover Pebble Beach 2

.

An honest, fun, full-throttle story of a newly divorced woman throwing herself back into life…without a safety net!

.

Attracted to the wrong men and don’t understand why? Afraid of being alone, getting older and losing your sex appeal? A little sex crazed (or a lot)? And still dreaming of a man who can save you from your life?

Chick Lit meets Self-Help in this high-spirited tale of a newly divorced, 40-something woman with two teenage sons who is trying to take control of her life, her sex-crazed body, and her new relationships with men – while struggling to build a career in advertising in the big city (plus going to quite a few therapy sessions). 

Until one day an unsavoury business scandal threatens to ruin the burgeoning career of our brave heroine…

 

REVIEWS & ENDORSEMENTS

.

  • A SINGLE LIFE SEEN FROM INSIDE Are you the type that is attracted to the wrong men – and do you do the most insane things to keep your relationships with them anyway? Are you terrified by the thought of being an old, wrinkled raisin that no man will ever want? And are you – once in a while – just a little hungry after sex? Yes? Well then you will really be able to identify with Pebble Beach. She is in her mid-40s, newly divorced, and mother of two teenage boys. She is struggling to make a career for herself as a copywriter. At the same time she’s trying – using all the tricks of the game – to make it as a single woman. Or in reality she’s trying to find a new man – but in fact it’s really going rather poorly on all fronts. “Single for the Second Time” is written by Barbara Berger, the woman who’s written more than 10 self-help books so among other things, the reader closely follows Pebble Beach as she goes through an intense therapy process in her search to find herself. The book makes you laugh, cry and think as well. It touches on themes like addictive relationships, low self-esteem, alcoholism and poor communication in an entertaining yet serious tone. A good and informative book for singles – and for those who don’t understand single women! ~ Bibi, Danish weekly magazine Søndag

.

MY REVIEW

.

  • I finished reading your book last night. I found this book dynamic, intense, stimulating and a real depiction of the complicated lives we all tend to create for ourselves. Pebble only took her power back after reaching a saturation point, a point where she mastered her “fear of loss”. It is astounding to read how her compulsive desire to please positioned herself in mortal danger. You succeeded extremely well with your depiction of her mental blindness and inability to identify individuals or situations that added very little or no value to her life. Most of us tend to see only what we want to see in others. This goes for everything else in life. You brilliantly displayed the horrific price Pebble paid before she woke up to her real potential. I loved how you shared her self-talk and futile attempts to make sense of the games that she became embroiled in. What I found enlightening and disturbing is that you will find a Pebble drama in every building, home or office that you observe when you look out of your window. You will without doubt discover the Pebble Beach in yourself when you turn away from the window and look in a mirror. Your subliminal ability to leave your reader with a question in his mind about his own compulsive and often obsessive behaviour in certain areas of his life gives this book longevity. It will be an idiot that reads this book and then sends it off to a second hand book shop. I recommend that we as readers take Pebble Beach off the shelf when we find ourselves struggling and straining to make sense of anything or anyone. This amazing book will then remind us once again where we allowed ourselves to get sucked in by illusions created in our futile minds that might once again return to our old and outdated software that we operated on historically. (Habitual reaction Patterns). The real value of The Adventures of Pebble Beach is that you learn and gain insight without even being aware of it. You become so embroiled by Pebble’s adventures that you fail to grasp that you are at the same time busy with a purification process while you load wisdom and insight into your sub-conscious archives.

Rene

.

You can read a portion of a chapter at the following link

.

https://eagleman6788.wordpress.com/2012/04/22/part-15-the-adventures-of-pebble-beach-by-barbara-berger/

www.beamteam.com

 
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Posted by on March 7, 2014 in WISDOM

 

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Book Review – The Adventures of Pebble Beach – My friend – Best Selling Author – Barbara Berger.

Cover Pebble Beach 2

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An honest, fun, full-throttle story of a newly divorced woman throwing herself back into life…without a safety net!

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Attracted to the wrong men and don’t understand why? Afraid of being alone, getting older and losing your sex appeal? A little sex crazed (or a lot)? And still dreaming of a man who can save you from your life?

Chick Lit meets Self-Help in this high-spirited tale of a newly divorced, 40-something woman with two teenage sons who is trying to take control of her life, her sex-crazed body, and her new relationships with men – while struggling to build a career in advertising in the big city (plus going to quite a few therapy sessions). 

Until one day an unsavoury business scandal threatens to ruin the burgeoning career of our brave heroine…

REVIEWS & ENDORSEMENTS

  • A SINGLE LIFE SEEN FROM INSIDE Are you the type that is attracted to the wrong men – and do you do the most insane things to keep your relationships with them anyway? Are you terrified by the thought of being an old, wrinkled raisin that no man will ever want? And are you – once in a while – just a little hungry after sex? Yes? Well then you will really be able to identify with Pebble Beach. She is in her mid-40s, newly divorced, and mother of two teenage boys. She is struggling to make a career for herself as a copywriter. At the same time she’s trying – using all the tricks of the game – to make it as a single woman. Or in reality she’s trying to find a new man – but in fact it’s really going rather poorly on all fronts. “Single for the Second Time” is written by Barbara Berger, the woman who’s written more than 10 self-help books so among other things, the reader closely follows Pebble Beach as she goes through an intense therapy process in her search to find herself. The book makes you laugh, cry and think as well. It touches on themes like addictive relationships, low self-esteem, alcoholism and poor communication in an entertaining yet serious tone. A good and informative book for singles – and for those who don’t understand single women! ~ Bibi, Danish weekly magazine Søndag

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MY REVIEW

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  • I finished reading your book last night. I found this book dynamic, intense, stimulating and a real depiction of the complicated lives we all tend to create for ourselves. Pebble only took her power back after reaching a saturation point, a point where she mastered her “fear of loss”. It is astounding to read how her compulsive desire to please positioned herself in mortal danger. You succeeded extremely well with your depiction of her mental blindness and inability to identify individuals or situations that added very little or no value to her life. Most of us tend to see only what we want to see in others. This goes for everything else in life. You brilliantly displayed the horrific price Pebble paid before she woke up to her real potential. I loved how you shared her self-talk and futile attempts to make sense of the games that she became embroiled in. What I found enlightening and disturbing is that you will find a Pebble drama in every building, home or office that you observe when you look out of your window. You will without doubt discover the Pebble Beach in yourself when you turn away from the window and look in a mirror. Your subliminal ability to leave your reader with a question in his mind about his own compulsive and often obsessive behaviour in certain areas of his life gives this book longevity. It will be an idiot that reads this book and then sends it off to a second hand book shop. I recommend that we as readers take Pebble Beach off the shelf when we find ourselves struggling and straining to make sense of anything or anyone. This amazing book will then remind us once again where we allowed ourselves to get sucked in by illusions created in our futile minds that might once again return to our old and outdated software that we operated on historically. (Habitual reaction Patterns). The real value of The Adventures of Pebble Beach is that you learn and gain insight without even being aware of it. You become so embroiled by Pebble’s adventures that you fail to grasp that you are at the same time busy with a purification process while you load wisdom and insight into your sub-conscious archives.

Rene

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You can read a portion of a chapter at the following link

.

https://eagleman6788.wordpress.com/2012/04/22/part-15-the-adventures-of-pebble-beach-by-barbara-berger/

www.beamteam.com

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on February 13, 2014 in WISDOM

 

Tags: , , , ,

 
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