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Children LIVE what they LEARN.

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Most of us are young, inexperienced and extremely naïve when we start rearing our children. We raise our children on a trial and error basis. There are virtually no education or preparation available to young couples when they get married or when they decide to start a family. The first six years in a child’s life is his or her most important formative years. The “emotional” foundation put down in his heart and mind during this important period will become the decision “filter” that he or she will use for the rest of his or her life. It impacts on every aspect of his or her being if a child was “damaged” psychologically in these vulnerable years.

We think of child abuse and serious neglect when we read statements like this, but psychological and emotional damage can be caused by many other factors. Most of us do not know that everything that we do in life is motivated by a desire to experience pleasure or circumvent pain. This mechanism controls who you are and impacts on every other aspect of your life. This mechanism works on a subliminal basis and can make you or break you.

Your parents “programmed” you by using their own perceptions as base. They programmed their fears and preferences into your decision-making mechanism. You might fade under pressure or mentally hide in terror because of an unpleasant experience that your mother had in her childhood.

When you study the real achievers in life you soon discover that they broke the negative influences that their parents cemented into their decision-making mechanism. They look at each new project or problem in a very objective and realistic manner. They do not allow the automatic pain and pleasure system to kick in as it usually does.

Success is thus a ridding process. You need to get rid of your historical programs that are possibly outdated or that may have been warped from the start. Take each person, event or problem and focus on it objectively and in the moment. They rise above other people because of their wisdom and insight. Stop reacting automatically when faced with a choice and ask yourself, “What is the valid data in the moment?” Love your parents unconditionally, but stop projecting defective and outdated fears into your current moment.

 

Rene

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Posted by on October 10, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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Smile for a While – WHY WE LOVE CHILDREN

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 WHY WE LOVE CHILDREN

1) NUDITY

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, ‘Mom, that lady isn’t wearing a seat belt!’

2) OPINIONS

On the first day of school, a new starter handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, ‘The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents .’

3) KETCHUP

A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone… ‘Mommy can’t come to the phone to talk to you right now. She’s hitting the bottle.’

4) MORE NUDITY

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women’s locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, ‘What’s the matter, haven’t you ever seen a little boy before?’

5) POLICE # 1

While taking a routine vandalism report at a primary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, ‘Are you a cop? Yes,’ I answered and continued writing the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?’ ‘Yes, that’s right,’ I told her. ‘Well, then,’ she said as she extended her foot toward me, ‘would you please tie my shoe?’

6) POLICE # 2

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. ‘Is that a dog you got back there?’ he asked.

‘It sure is,’ I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, ‘What’d he do?’

7) ELDERLY

While working for an organisation that delivers lunches to the elderly, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, ‘The tooth fairy will never believe this!’

8) DRESS-UP

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, ‘Daddy, you shouldn’t wear that suit.’
‘And why not, darling?’
‘You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.’

9) DEATH

While walking along the pavement in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton wadding, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The minister’s son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: ‘Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.’ (I want this line used at my funeral!) 

10) SCHOOL

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. ‘I’m just wasting my time,’ she said to her mother. ‘I can’t read, I can’t write, and they won’t let me talk!’

11) BIBLE

A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
‘Mama, look what I found,’ the boy called out.
‘What have you got there, dear?’
With astonishment in the young boy’s voice, he answered, ‘I think it’s Adam’s underwear!’

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Thank you Annalise for this input – Rene

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Posted by on August 7, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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Smile for a While – WHY WE LOVE CHILDREN

WHY WE LOVE CHILDREN

1) NUDITY

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, ‘Mom, that lady isn’t wearing a seat belt!’

2) OPINIONS

On the first day of school, a new starter handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, ‘The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents .’

3) KETCHUP

A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone… ‘Mommy can’t come to the phone to talk to you right now. She’s hitting the bottle.’

4) MORE NUDITY

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women’s locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, ‘What’s the matter, haven’t you ever seen a little boy before?’

5) POLICE # 1

While taking a routine vandalism report at a primary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, ‘Are you a cop? Yes,’ I answered and continued writing the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?’ ‘Yes, that’s right,’ I told her. ‘Well, then,’ she said as she extended her foot toward me, ‘would you please tie my shoe?’

6) POLICE # 2

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. ‘Is that a dog you got back there?’ he asked.

‘It sure is,’ I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, ‘What’d he do?’

7) ELDERLY

While working for an organisation that delivers lunches to the elderly, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, ‘The tooth fairy will never believe this!’

8) DRESS-UP

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, ‘Daddy, you shouldn’t wear that suit.’
‘And why not, darling?’
‘You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.’

9) DEATH

While walking along the pavement in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton wadding, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The minister’s son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: ‘Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.’ (I want this line used at my funeral!) 

10) SCHOOL

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. ‘I’m just wasting my time,’ she said to her mother. ‘I can’t read, I can’t write, and they won’t let me talk!’

11) BIBLE

A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
‘Mama, look what I found,’ the boy called out.
‘What have you got there, dear?’
With astonishment in the young boy’s voice, he answered, ‘I think it’s Adam’s underwear!’

.

Thank you Annalise for this input – Rene

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Leave a comment

Posted by on June 27, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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Teach your children that life is not fair!

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Funny-and-Clever-Egg-Photography-21

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Believe it or not…life is not fair. Occasionally the bad guy wins, people do play favorites, some good people die young, some people will let you down and not everyone is honest. While we can accept this, it shouldn’t stop us from dreaming big, working hard and doing what is right.

Sometimes it’s who you know and not what you know that matters. It won’t matter that you are the better qualified or the obvious choice. Some will always select people who they personally like better than you. Others who you rely on will let you down. The is especially hard to accept if you are someone who always keeps their word and does what is right. If you’re like that, you automatically think others should too. We could have all saved ourselves a lot of emotional stress if we’d have known all this before we venture out into the real world.

If we’d have learned the way the world worked a young age, we’d have never invested so much in the opinions others have about us. We’d have realized that it’s simply not advantageous to always try to please others. However, it’s still important to keep in mind that life is worth living. The secret is to always keep an optimistic outlook. You simply have to learn how to deal with the negative while seeking out the positive. Once you’ve learned this lesson, you will have the ability to still go out and enjoy a full and rewarding existence no matter how unfair life treats you.

 

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Posted by on May 9, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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It is not how hard you get hit, but how many times you bounce back.

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It is imperative to grasp as early as possible that you must believe in your own integrity, value and ability to make a difference. Most of us start life deluded and think that we are and will always be surrounded by individuals that will support us and that will be there for us when things fail to materialise as expected. Some of us discover early in life that real friends are rarer than virgins in a whore house. We discover that our so-called blood brothers and friends vanish like a fart in a thunder storm when things start going wrong for us. We should teach children that life is not fair and that they will more often than not work like a slave and get little or no rewards. Children must understand that life consist out of an endless range of challenges that will come at them like the waves of the ocean. We cannot give our children a bigger gift than the preparation needed to see things as they are (reality). True champions play to win, but also understand that it is silly to expect to win every time they go out to compete. The key to a long and successful career is fortitude. It is not how hard you get hit, but how many times you bounce back. We must train our children to see failure as stepping stones and not disasters. The biggest curse you can put on a child is to create the impression that everything will turn our ok if they try their best. You might be the best talented player that attempt to get into a team at school and still fail to find your name on the final team list. You may have failed to make the cut because a few other players have parents that make big donations to the school and play golf with the coach. The unprepared child is often destroyed long before he or she leave school. Unprepared children become disillusioned and some of them never recover. Look around you or do some research and you will discover that the real successful players in sport and the business world overcame serious adversity during their journey through life. There will be times in your life where you will face very testing times. You will yearn for support and understanding and discover that there is no one that is brave enough or loyal enough to come to your rescue. It is these critical moments, these dark nights of the soul that bring out the best in those with fortitude, courage and determination. Some of us understand that disaster can strike at any moment. We do not fear setbacks and disasters because we know that we can like so many times before overcome anything. Winners and true champions can get up and immediately start building on a new dream and a more exciting goal. The magic ingredient that so many lack in life is staying power and determination. This is the biggest blessing you can pass onto your children. The best way my friend to do this is to lead by example. Show your children that you are strong and courageous in the face of adversity.

Rene

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Posted by on March 19, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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If you want to exert serious influence on people, learn about the power of honest appreciation.

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EVEN A LITTLE BIT OF RECOGNITION CAN GO AN INCREDIBLY LONG WAY IN A PERSON’S LIFE

 JOHN MAXWELL

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I am often astounded when I see how unappreciative people have become. I am not talking about buying someone a vehicle or sending him or her on a boat trip around the world in appreciation here. I am talking about something much more simple. What I have in mind is the simple and low energy activity of moving your lips and forming the words, “Thank you.” Society has become sour, critical and self-centred and takes far too much for granted. I will start with children. Children today begin at a very young age to become takers and usually sustain this parasite behaviour habit into adulthood. I have seen many parents go without to ensure a good education for their children. I have seen how parents worked two jobs and forfeit their health and best years of their life to ensure that their ungrateful offspring can go around with “designer or brand name” clothing. I can feel the veins in my neck popping when I see how ill mannered children treat their parents as if they are brain dead morons. Appreciation usually only enters the picture when the spoiled child needs to lay his hands of the wallet of their “well worn” parents.

 

The inability to express appreciation is rife in society today. Not only children go around taking things for granted. When last did you catch someone expressing honest out of the heart unsolicited appreciation? People are starved of this vital ingredient in all levels of society today. People blush and become embarrassed when you thank them or express your honest appreciation. You can detect that they are out of practice receiving appreciation. The sudden rush of “good chemicals” from their brains that are released when you feel appreciated makes them dizzy and tend to stun them.

 

I WILL TODAY EXPRESS MY APPRECIATION AS IF I HAVE AN ENDLESS STOCK OF IT IN THE STOREHOUSE OF MY MIND

 

If you want to exert serious influence on people, learn about the power of honest appreciation. Express and show your appreciation more often and see what enormous difference it can make in the lives of people. The rumour that has been around that appreciation cannot be experienced when you become older or when your hair turns grey is just an urban legend. You never grow too old, rich, or fat to enjoy appreciation. It is something that you obtain free of charge and that will not bankrupt you if you hand it out in generous proportions. You can freely use this powerful tool on parents, gardeners, strangers, and even intimate friends.

 

Invite people to tell you more about themselves, their hopes, their fears, and dreams. Show real interest in what they have to say. Learn to take the focus off your own needs, fears, and ego driven aspirations for a while. Most people are so ego driven that they find it very difficult to listen. Do not try and top every story they tell with one of your own that makes their achievement bleak in comparison. Send people “thank you “ notes. I have seen mothers treasure a thank you note for decades that a son or daughter wrote them in a moment of weakness. You also do not need to wait for special occasions to show your appreciation. A single flower or a one-minute phone call can often do more for a worn out mother or father than the medication he or she takes for his or her depression or insomnia. Become a strong source of influence today by giving your appreciation freely to everybody you meet. The amazing thing about giving appreciation and recognition is that it also makes you feel good and worthy.

Rene

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Posted by on February 23, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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TEACH YOUR CHILDREN – LIFE SKILLS.

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How to Exercise Enormous Power Over the Events of Your Life!

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Explain to your children that it is imperative to learn how to let go of the past. Many of us spend too much time on what could or should have been. We go around with a long face or a broken heart because things failed to pan out as expected. Living in the past prevents us from enjoying our current moments. Is it not that the most horrific storms always finally pass? Raging rivers gradually calm down and again become tranquil havens for the insects, birds and other wild life that live on their banks. Everything in life is impermanent. It is futile to drift around for days or weeks speculating what could or should have been. What happened in the past no longer have any power of its own. It is just data in our memory that need to be re-activated before it can force us to re-live what transpired. It is our thoughts that trigger these often unwelcome and sometimes unfair experiences. You cannot repair the past. You can just speculate what could or should have been. You can also just speculate what might transpire at some future date. Explain to your child that you cannot cross a bridge while you continue to keep your one foot firmly anchored on the one side. You also cannot get an egg back into its shell once broken. There is a saying that it is futile to cry over spilled milk. It is thus important to embrace each and every moment.                                     

Teach your children that you can make a fresh start after the biggest disaster. We cannot allow any historical mistake to define who we are. The old must often make way for the new. Not even the best players in sport can boast with a perfect record. It often takes a huge number of mistakes and failures before someone is crowned as champion. Putting things behind you will enhance your life and amplify your self-esteem. It often takes the courage of a lion to walk away from a disaster or failed venture. Parents – use examples how nature is often forced to make a fresh start. A volcano can blow a mountain apart leaving the area devastated, like the surface of mars. Go back a few years later and you will notice how nature is gradually rebuilding the surroundings to its previous splendour.                                         

PARENTS

 Parents teach your children that it is their attitude that decides their fate and future. Lead by example and show your child that there is nothing that can force you to throw in the towel. Moping around the house because something failed to turn out as you expected will not be a good example you set for your children. You cannot just talk a good game. You must remember that your children view you as a role model and will long after you are gone still duplicate what they learned from you. Tell your child that they can make a fresh start notwithstanding yesterday’s disasters. Making a fresh start is one single decision away. A decision acted on ensures growth and future happiness. There is nothing that your child cannot overcome with the right attitude and lots of love and support from you. Stop reminding your child of their failures. Tell your child that there are endless historical examples of legends that failed their way to success.                          

Rene

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Posted by on February 13, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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