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Children LIVE what they LEARN.

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Most of us are young, inexperienced and extremely naïve when we start rearing our children. We raise our children on a trial and error basis. There are virtually no education or preparation available to young couples when they get married or when they decide to start a family. The first six years in a child’s life is his or her most important formative years. The “emotional” foundation put down in his heart and mind during this important period will become the decision “filter” that he or she will use for the rest of his or her life. It impacts on every aspect of his or her being if a child was “damaged” psychologically in these vulnerable years.

We think of child abuse and serious neglect when we read statements like this, but psychological and emotional damage can be caused by many other factors. Most of us do not know that everything that we do in life is motivated by a desire to experience pleasure or circumvent pain. This mechanism controls who you are and impacts on every other aspect of your life. This mechanism works on a subliminal basis and can make you or break you.

Your parents “programmed” you by using their own perceptions as base. They programmed their fears and preferences into your decision-making mechanism. You might fade under pressure or mentally hide in terror because of an unpleasant experience that your mother had in her childhood.

When you study the real achievers in life you soon discover that they broke the negative influences that their parents cemented into their decision-making mechanism. They look at each new project or problem in a very objective and realistic manner. They do not allow the automatic pain and pleasure system to kick in as it usually does.

Success is thus a ridding process. You need to get rid of your historical programs that are possibly outdated or that may have been warped from the start. Take each person, event or problem and focus on it objectively and in the moment. They rise above other people because of their wisdom and insight. Stop reacting automatically when faced with a choice and ask yourself, “What is the valid data in the moment?” Love your parents unconditionally, but stop projecting defective and outdated fears into your current moment.

 

Rene

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Posted by on October 10, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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Smile for a While – WHY WE LOVE CHILDREN

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 WHY WE LOVE CHILDREN

1) NUDITY

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, ‘Mom, that lady isn’t wearing a seat belt!’

2) OPINIONS

On the first day of school, a new starter handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, ‘The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents .’

3) KETCHUP

A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone… ‘Mommy can’t come to the phone to talk to you right now. She’s hitting the bottle.’

4) MORE NUDITY

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women’s locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, ‘What’s the matter, haven’t you ever seen a little boy before?’

5) POLICE # 1

While taking a routine vandalism report at a primary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, ‘Are you a cop? Yes,’ I answered and continued writing the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?’ ‘Yes, that’s right,’ I told her. ‘Well, then,’ she said as she extended her foot toward me, ‘would you please tie my shoe?’

6) POLICE # 2

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. ‘Is that a dog you got back there?’ he asked.

‘It sure is,’ I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, ‘What’d he do?’

7) ELDERLY

While working for an organisation that delivers lunches to the elderly, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, ‘The tooth fairy will never believe this!’

8) DRESS-UP

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, ‘Daddy, you shouldn’t wear that suit.’
‘And why not, darling?’
‘You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.’

9) DEATH

While walking along the pavement in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton wadding, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The minister’s son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: ‘Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.’ (I want this line used at my funeral!) 

10) SCHOOL

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. ‘I’m just wasting my time,’ she said to her mother. ‘I can’t read, I can’t write, and they won’t let me talk!’

11) BIBLE

A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
‘Mama, look what I found,’ the boy called out.
‘What have you got there, dear?’
With astonishment in the young boy’s voice, he answered, ‘I think it’s Adam’s underwear!’

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Thank you Annalise for this input – Rene

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Posted by on August 7, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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Smile for a While – WHY WE LOVE CHILDREN

WHY WE LOVE CHILDREN

1) NUDITY

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, ‘Mom, that lady isn’t wearing a seat belt!’

2) OPINIONS

On the first day of school, a new starter handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, ‘The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents .’

3) KETCHUP

A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone… ‘Mommy can’t come to the phone to talk to you right now. She’s hitting the bottle.’

4) MORE NUDITY

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women’s locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, ‘What’s the matter, haven’t you ever seen a little boy before?’

5) POLICE # 1

While taking a routine vandalism report at a primary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, ‘Are you a cop? Yes,’ I answered and continued writing the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?’ ‘Yes, that’s right,’ I told her. ‘Well, then,’ she said as she extended her foot toward me, ‘would you please tie my shoe?’

6) POLICE # 2

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. ‘Is that a dog you got back there?’ he asked.

‘It sure is,’ I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, ‘What’d he do?’

7) ELDERLY

While working for an organisation that delivers lunches to the elderly, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, ‘The tooth fairy will never believe this!’

8) DRESS-UP

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, ‘Daddy, you shouldn’t wear that suit.’
‘And why not, darling?’
‘You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.’

9) DEATH

While walking along the pavement in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton wadding, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The minister’s son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: ‘Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.’ (I want this line used at my funeral!) 

10) SCHOOL

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. ‘I’m just wasting my time,’ she said to her mother. ‘I can’t read, I can’t write, and they won’t let me talk!’

11) BIBLE

A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
‘Mama, look what I found,’ the boy called out.
‘What have you got there, dear?’
With astonishment in the young boy’s voice, he answered, ‘I think it’s Adam’s underwear!’

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Thank you Annalise for this input – Rene

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Posted by on June 27, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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Teach your children that life is not fair!

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Believe it or not…life is not fair. Occasionally the bad guy wins, people do play favorites, some good people die young, some people will let you down and not everyone is honest. While we can accept this, it shouldn’t stop us from dreaming big, working hard and doing what is right.

Sometimes it’s who you know and not what you know that matters. It won’t matter that you are the better qualified or the obvious choice. Some will always select people who they personally like better than you. Others who you rely on will let you down. The is especially hard to accept if you are someone who always keeps their word and does what is right. If you’re like that, you automatically think others should too. We could have all saved ourselves a lot of emotional stress if we’d have known all this before we venture out into the real world.

If we’d have learned the way the world worked a young age, we’d have never invested so much in the opinions others have about us. We’d have realized that it’s simply not advantageous to always try to please others. However, it’s still important to keep in mind that life is worth living. The secret is to always keep an optimistic outlook. You simply have to learn how to deal with the negative while seeking out the positive. Once you’ve learned this lesson, you will have the ability to still go out and enjoy a full and rewarding existence no matter how unfair life treats you.

 

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Posted by on May 9, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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It is not how hard you get hit, but how many times you bounce back.

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It is imperative to grasp as early as possible that you must believe in your own integrity, value and ability to make a difference. Most of us start life deluded and think that we are and will always be surrounded by individuals that will support us and that will be there for us when things fail to materialise as expected. Some of us discover early in life that real friends are rarer than virgins in a whore house. We discover that our so-called blood brothers and friends vanish like a fart in a thunder storm when things start going wrong for us. We should teach children that life is not fair and that they will more often than not work like a slave and get little or no rewards. Children must understand that life consist out of an endless range of challenges that will come at them like the waves of the ocean. We cannot give our children a bigger gift than the preparation needed to see things as they are (reality). True champions play to win, but also understand that it is silly to expect to win every time they go out to compete. The key to a long and successful career is fortitude. It is not how hard you get hit, but how many times you bounce back. We must train our children to see failure as stepping stones and not disasters. The biggest curse you can put on a child is to create the impression that everything will turn our ok if they try their best. You might be the best talented player that attempt to get into a team at school and still fail to find your name on the final team list. You may have failed to make the cut because a few other players have parents that make big donations to the school and play golf with the coach. The unprepared child is often destroyed long before he or she leave school. Unprepared children become disillusioned and some of them never recover. Look around you or do some research and you will discover that the real successful players in sport and the business world overcame serious adversity during their journey through life. There will be times in your life where you will face very testing times. You will yearn for support and understanding and discover that there is no one that is brave enough or loyal enough to come to your rescue. It is these critical moments, these dark nights of the soul that bring out the best in those with fortitude, courage and determination. Some of us understand that disaster can strike at any moment. We do not fear setbacks and disasters because we know that we can like so many times before overcome anything. Winners and true champions can get up and immediately start building on a new dream and a more exciting goal. The magic ingredient that so many lack in life is staying power and determination. This is the biggest blessing you can pass onto your children. The best way my friend to do this is to lead by example. Show your children that you are strong and courageous in the face of adversity.

Rene

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Posted by on March 19, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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If you want to exert serious influence on people, learn about the power of honest appreciation.

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EVEN A LITTLE BIT OF RECOGNITION CAN GO AN INCREDIBLY LONG WAY IN A PERSON’S LIFE

 JOHN MAXWELL

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I am often astounded when I see how unappreciative people have become. I am not talking about buying someone a vehicle or sending him or her on a boat trip around the world in appreciation here. I am talking about something much more simple. What I have in mind is the simple and low energy activity of moving your lips and forming the words, “Thank you.” Society has become sour, critical and self-centred and takes far too much for granted. I will start with children. Children today begin at a very young age to become takers and usually sustain this parasite behaviour habit into adulthood. I have seen many parents go without to ensure a good education for their children. I have seen how parents worked two jobs and forfeit their health and best years of their life to ensure that their ungrateful offspring can go around with “designer or brand name” clothing. I can feel the veins in my neck popping when I see how ill mannered children treat their parents as if they are brain dead morons. Appreciation usually only enters the picture when the spoiled child needs to lay his hands of the wallet of their “well worn” parents.

 

The inability to express appreciation is rife in society today. Not only children go around taking things for granted. When last did you catch someone expressing honest out of the heart unsolicited appreciation? People are starved of this vital ingredient in all levels of society today. People blush and become embarrassed when you thank them or express your honest appreciation. You can detect that they are out of practice receiving appreciation. The sudden rush of “good chemicals” from their brains that are released when you feel appreciated makes them dizzy and tend to stun them.

 

I WILL TODAY EXPRESS MY APPRECIATION AS IF I HAVE AN ENDLESS STOCK OF IT IN THE STOREHOUSE OF MY MIND

 

If you want to exert serious influence on people, learn about the power of honest appreciation. Express and show your appreciation more often and see what enormous difference it can make in the lives of people. The rumour that has been around that appreciation cannot be experienced when you become older or when your hair turns grey is just an urban legend. You never grow too old, rich, or fat to enjoy appreciation. It is something that you obtain free of charge and that will not bankrupt you if you hand it out in generous proportions. You can freely use this powerful tool on parents, gardeners, strangers, and even intimate friends.

 

Invite people to tell you more about themselves, their hopes, their fears, and dreams. Show real interest in what they have to say. Learn to take the focus off your own needs, fears, and ego driven aspirations for a while. Most people are so ego driven that they find it very difficult to listen. Do not try and top every story they tell with one of your own that makes their achievement bleak in comparison. Send people “thank you “ notes. I have seen mothers treasure a thank you note for decades that a son or daughter wrote them in a moment of weakness. You also do not need to wait for special occasions to show your appreciation. A single flower or a one-minute phone call can often do more for a worn out mother or father than the medication he or she takes for his or her depression or insomnia. Become a strong source of influence today by giving your appreciation freely to everybody you meet. The amazing thing about giving appreciation and recognition is that it also makes you feel good and worthy.

Rene

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Posted by on February 23, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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TEACH YOUR CHILDREN – LIFE SKILLS.

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How to Exercise Enormous Power Over the Events of Your Life!

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Explain to your children that it is imperative to learn how to let go of the past. Many of us spend too much time on what could or should have been. We go around with a long face or a broken heart because things failed to pan out as expected. Living in the past prevents us from enjoying our current moments. Is it not that the most horrific storms always finally pass? Raging rivers gradually calm down and again become tranquil havens for the insects, birds and other wild life that live on their banks. Everything in life is impermanent. It is futile to drift around for days or weeks speculating what could or should have been. What happened in the past no longer have any power of its own. It is just data in our memory that need to be re-activated before it can force us to re-live what transpired. It is our thoughts that trigger these often unwelcome and sometimes unfair experiences. You cannot repair the past. You can just speculate what could or should have been. You can also just speculate what might transpire at some future date. Explain to your child that you cannot cross a bridge while you continue to keep your one foot firmly anchored on the one side. You also cannot get an egg back into its shell once broken. There is a saying that it is futile to cry over spilled milk. It is thus important to embrace each and every moment.                                     

Teach your children that you can make a fresh start after the biggest disaster. We cannot allow any historical mistake to define who we are. The old must often make way for the new. Not even the best players in sport can boast with a perfect record. It often takes a huge number of mistakes and failures before someone is crowned as champion. Putting things behind you will enhance your life and amplify your self-esteem. It often takes the courage of a lion to walk away from a disaster or failed venture. Parents – use examples how nature is often forced to make a fresh start. A volcano can blow a mountain apart leaving the area devastated, like the surface of mars. Go back a few years later and you will notice how nature is gradually rebuilding the surroundings to its previous splendour.                                         

PARENTS

 Parents teach your children that it is their attitude that decides their fate and future. Lead by example and show your child that there is nothing that can force you to throw in the towel. Moping around the house because something failed to turn out as you expected will not be a good example you set for your children. You cannot just talk a good game. You must remember that your children view you as a role model and will long after you are gone still duplicate what they learned from you. Tell your child that they can make a fresh start notwithstanding yesterday’s disasters. Making a fresh start is one single decision away. A decision acted on ensures growth and future happiness. There is nothing that your child cannot overcome with the right attitude and lots of love and support from you. Stop reminding your child of their failures. Tell your child that there are endless historical examples of legends that failed their way to success.                          

Rene

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Posted by on February 13, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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Why do so-called blood brothers/friends vanish like a fart in a thunder storm when things start going wrong for us?

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It is imperative to grasp as early as possible that you must believe in your own integrity, value and ability to make a difference. Most of us start life deluded and think that we are and will always be surrounded by individuals that will support us and that will be there for us when things fail to materialise as expected. Some of us discover early in life that real friends are rarer than virgins in a whore house. We discover that our so-called blood brothers and friends vanish like a fart in a thunder storm when things start going wrong for us. We should teach children that life is not fair and that they will more often than not work like a slave and get little or no rewards. Children must understand that life consist out of an endless range of challenges that will come at them like the waves of the ocean. We cannot give our children a bigger gift than the preparation needed to see things as they are (reality). True champions play to win, but also understand that it is silly to expect to win every time they go out to compete. The key to a long and successful career is fortitude. It is not how hard you get hit, but how many times you bounce back. We must train our children to see failure as stepping stones and not disasters. The biggest curse you can put on a child is to create the impression that everything will turn our ok if they try their best. You might be the best talented player that attempt to get into a team at school and still fail to find your name on the final team list. You may have failed to make the cut because a few other players have parents that make big donations to the school and play golf with the coach. The unprepared child is often destroyed long before he or she leave school. Unprepared children become disillusioned and some of them never recover. Look around you or do some research and you will discover that the real successful players in sport and the business world overcame serious adversity during their journey through life. There will be times in your life where you will face very testing times. You will yearn for support and understanding and discover that there is no one that is brave enough or loyal enough to come to your rescue. It is these critical moments, these dark nights of the soul that bring out the best in those with fortitude, courage and determination. Some of us understand that disaster can strike at any moment. We do not fear setbacks and disasters because we know that we can like so many times before overcome anything. Winners and true champions can get up and immediately start building on a new dream and a more exciting goal. The magic ingredient that so many lack in life is staying power and determination. This is the biggest blessing you can pass onto your children. The best way my friend to do this is to lead by example. Show your children that you are strong and courageous in the face of adversity.

Rene

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Posted by on December 27, 2014 in WISDOM

 

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Controversial book – “tiger mother” methods of raising her children.

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American law professor Amy Chua talks to Channel 4 News about her “tiger mother” methods of raising her children – now the subject of a controversial book.

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READ MORE AT THE LINK BELOW

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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2551297/There-racial-Tiger-Mom-denies-racist-new-book-eight-superior-races-religions-make-better-parents.html

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Posted by on November 2, 2014 in WISDOM

 

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Why do so-called blood brothers/friends vanish like a fart in a thunder storm when things start going wrong for us?

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It is imperative to grasp as early as possible that you must believe in your own integrity, value and ability to make a difference. Most of us start life deluded and think that we are and will always be surrounded by individuals that will support us and that will be there for us when things fail to materialise as expected. Some of us discover early in life that real friends are rarer than virgins in a whore house. We discover that our so-called blood brothers and friends vanish like a fart in a thunder storm when things start going wrong for us. We should teach children that life is not fair and that they will more often than not work like a slave and get little or no rewards. Children must understand that life consist out of an endless range of challenges that will come at them like the waves of the ocean. We cannot give our children a bigger gift than the preparation needed to see things as they are (reality). True champions play to win, but also understand that it is silly to expect to win every time they go out to compete. The key to a long and successful career is fortitude. It is not how hard you get hit, but how many times you bounce back. We must train our children to see failure as stepping stones and not disasters. The biggest curse you can put on a child is to create the impression that everything will turn our ok if they try their best. You might be the best talented player that attempt to get into a team at school and still fail to find your name on the final team list. You may have failed to make the cut because a few other players have parents that make big donations to the school and play golf with the coach. The unprepared child is often destroyed long before he or she leave school. Unprepared children become disillusioned and some of them never recover. Look around you or do some research and you will discover that the real successful players in sport and the business world overcame serious adversity during their journey through life. There will be times in your life where you will face very testing times. You will yearn for support and understanding and discover that there is no one that is brave enough or loyal enough to come to your rescue. It is these critical moments, these dark nights of the soul that bring out the best in those with fortitude, courage and determination. Some of us understand that disaster can strike at any moment. We do not fear setbacks and disasters because we know that we can like so many times before overcome anything. Winners and true champions can get up and immediately start building on a new dream and a more exciting goal. The magic ingredient that so many lack in life is staying power and determination. This is the biggest blessing you can pass onto your children. The best way my friend to do this is to lead by example. Show your children that you are strong and courageous in the face of adversity.

Rene

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Posted by on November 1, 2014 in WISDOM

 

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TEACH YOUR CHILDREN – Explain to your children that it is very important not to stay down when life knock them down.

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Explain to your children that it is very important not to stay down when life knock them down. It is important for your children to understand that life is not fair and that they on many occasions will be forced to get up off the floor. Explain that some of the blows they will take will be executed by friends, family and even strangers. It will be foolish to create the false impression that everything will work out ok if they just do the right thing. The main reason why many students fail can be traced back to a lack of stamina and will power. Nothing worthwhile will simply fall in their lap. They will often need to work hard and smart before their goals becomes a reality. There is a saying, “Quitters never win and winners never quit”. Show your children examples of individuals that stood up that continued walking notwithstanding the setbacks that crossed their path.    

Explain to your children that it is often necessary to change direction or find a new way or formula to achieve a desired goal. It will be silly to invest energy in a project or objective if the current recipe continues to fails and make the grade. We live in a universe that is filled to the brim with choices and options. There is always a plan B or C if we get up and look for solutions. Most people are experts on failure. They can find an endless list of reasons why stuff will never work out as expected. They are so busy identifying potential problems that solutions in plain view escape their attention. Nobody ever succeeded without fighting serious obstacles. The key is courage and the simple act of standing up as many times as it might take.         

PARENTS

 Many parents are over-protective. They jump in and solve their child’s problem the moment they notice a potential setback. How will your child learn, grow and become self-sufficient if you play the hero every time he/she runs into a challenge. Be there for your child. Protect your child, but guide your child through setbacks. Don’t take over and create the impression that he/she are useless. Praise your child when they achieve success. Congratulate your child when they have minor victories.   

Rene

 
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Posted by on October 31, 2014 in WISDOM

 

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Children that have strict and obsessive parents soon discover that telling the truth can turn into a fairly unpleasant experience.

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One of the most corrosive things many of us do is that we often rationalise perceived mistakes we made. I am often astounded with the justifications that some people come up when they fall short of their own or other’s expectations. They will find something or someone to blame. They often blame the weather, racism, historical disadvantages, God or Satan, the government, the recipe, fellow workers, the children, their partner etc.

What we fail to understand is that rationalisation fortifies our habit of living a life of RESISTANCE. Did it ever cross your mind that mistakes you make or events where you fail to conclude a project successfully is a wonderful opportunity to learn and grow? The word “sin” originally simply meant that a person fell short of the expectation (goal) that he was expected to achieve. It is only when devious and clever operators noticed the wonderful opportunity to use failure as a mind control system that the concept of sin took on the horrific dimensions still used in many religions.

People were made to feel like shit when they fell short of the so-called requirements that God personally cast in stone. What amplified the fear of sinning and letting God down was the absolute nonsense preached that nobody can escape the all seeing eye of God. People became devious and began to hide, rationalise and justify their failures. Children that have strict and obsessive parents soon discover that telling the truth can turn into a fairly unpleasant experience. They soon develop a wide range of justifications and rationalisation that would make a judge scratch his head. Some children can think up excuses and reasons for poor performance or a lack of progress that would make most defence attorneys blush.

Something else that must be kept in mind is that all of us look at life through our own filter systems. We see our own perceptions as real and valid and often cannot see anything from other’s perspectives. We become mentally blind and cannot for a moment contemplate why someone is making such a fuss about a perceived mistake we made. Empathy (putting you in other’s shoes) fell apart over the years. Showing empathy means that you admit to your mistakes and as explained earlier could lead to pain and punishment. Every time we get away with the justifications we make up we entrench ourselves deeper in our castle of RESISTANCE.

The problem with “making up stories and justifications” is that we must suddenly remember what bullshit story we used to cover up our dispositions. The joke is that we begin to believe our own stories and will often be prepared to fight to the death to keep what really happened under wraps. Admitting mistakes we made provide wonderful learning opportunities and at the same time extract the toxic substance that accompanies whatever transpired. We came to this dimension to experience and to grow. The mistakes we make are wonderful opportunities to learn and to expand our self-image and self-esteem. You can save lots of time, tap dancing and frustration if you admit your mistake and offer to remedy whatever damage you caused.

There are parent that strongly insist that their children tell them the truth (and nothing but the truth). The child often views a hair raising performance from their parents when they tell the truth. Their mother begin to hyperventilate while she rips bundles of hair out of her sculpt while the father clutch his chest while he whisper and wheeze how he is going to beat the child up and force him to stay in his room for fifteen years. Let’s be honest. Very few children will continue to admit to mistakes after a few dramatic performances by his or her parents. Children later become adults and even later parents. They in turn duplicate the examples set by their parents and in the process produce a new generation of children that RESIST admitting mistakes that also find it impossible to show empathy to those that they harmed in with a mistake they made. The solution is to “tell it like it is” and let the chips fall where they may.

 

Spend today and see if you notice how you or others justify and rationalise when mistakes are made. See how service staff blame the computer when the messed up your account. See how incompetent mechanics flounder and lie when you question the quality of work they did on your vehicle. Try a few time do admit your mistakes without trying to justify your error. You might shock a few individuals that are not used to hearing the truth – but do it anyway. I will continue this series tomorrow.

Rene

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Posted by on October 28, 2014 in WISDOM

 

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Everything in life is impermanent. It is futile to drift around for days/weeks speculating what could/should have been.

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How to Exercise Enormous Power Over the Events of Your Life!

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Explain to your children that it is imperative to learn how to let go of the past. Many of us spend too much time on what could or should have been. We go around with a long face or a broken heart because things failed to pan out as expected. Living in the past prevents us from enjoying our current moments. Is it not that the most horrific storms always finally pass? Raging rivers gradually calm down and again become tranquil havens for the insects, birds and other wild life that live on their banks. Everything in life is impermanent. It is futile to drift around for days or weeks speculating what could or should have been. What happened in the past no longer have any power of its own. It is just data in our memory that need to be re-activated before it can force us to re-live what transpired. It is our thoughts that trigger these often unwelcome and sometimes unfair experiences. You cannot repair the past. You can just speculate what could or should have been. You can also just speculate what might transpire at some future date. Explain to your child that you cannot cross a bridge while you continue to keep your one foot firmly anchored on the one side. You also cannot get an egg back into its shell once broken. There is a saying that it is futile to cry over spilled milk. It is thus important to embrace each and every moment.                                     

Teach your children that you can make a fresh start after the biggest disaster. We cannot allow any historical mistake to define who we are. The old must often make way for the new. Not even the best players in sport can boast with a perfect record. It often takes a huge number of mistakes and failures before someone is crowned as champion. Putting things behind you will enhance your life and amplify your self-esteem. It often takes the courage of a lion to walk away from a disaster or failed venture. Parents – use examples how nature is often forced to make a fresh start. A volcano can blow a mountain apart leaving the area devastated, like the surface of mars. Go back a few years later and you will notice how nature is gradually rebuilding the surroundings to its previous splendour.                                         

PARENTS

 Parents teach your children that it is their attitude that decides their fate and future. Lead by example and show your child that there is nothing that can force you to throw in the towel. Moping around the house because something failed to turn out as you expected will not be a good example you set for your children. You cannot just talk a good game. You must remember that your children view you as a role model and will long after you are gone still duplicate what they learned from you. Tell your child that they can make a fresh start notwithstanding yesterday’s disasters. Making a fresh start is one single decision away. A decision acted on ensures growth and future happiness. There is nothing that your child cannot overcome with the right attitude and lots of love and support from you. Stop reminding your child of their failures. Tell your child that there are endless historical examples of legends that failed their way to success.                          

Rene

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Posted by on October 23, 2014 in WISDOM

 

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Everything that we do in life is motivated by a desire to experience pleasure or circumvent pain.

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Most of us are young, inexperienced and extremely naïve when we start rearing our children. We raise our children on a trial and error basis. There are virtually no education or preparation available to young couples when they get married or when they decide to start a family. The first six years in a child’s life is his or her most important formative years. The “emotional” foundation put down in his heart and mind during this important period will become the decision “filter” that he or she will use for the rest of his or her life. It impacts on every aspect of his or her being if a child was “damaged” psychologically in these vulnerable years.

We think of child abuse and serious neglect when we read statements like this, but psychological and emotional damage can be caused by many other factors. Most of us do not know that everything that we do in life is motivated by a desire to experience pleasure or circumvent pain. This mechanism controls who you are and impacts on every other aspect of your life. This mechanism works on a subliminal basis and can make you or break you.

Your parents “programmed” you by using their own perceptions as base. They programmed their fears and preferences into your decision-making mechanism. You might fade under pressure or mentally hide in terror because of an unpleasant experience that your mother had in her childhood.

When you study the real achievers in life you soon discover that they broke the negative influences that their parents cemented into their decision-making mechanism. They look at each new project or problem in a very objective and realistic manner. They do not allow the automatic pain and pleasure system to kick in as it usually does.

Success is thus a ridding process. You need to get rid of your historical programs that are possibly outdated or that may have been warped from the start. Take each person, event or problem and focus on it objectively and in the moment. They rise above other people because of their wisdom and insight. Stop reacting automatically when faced with a choice and ask yourself, “What is the valid data in the moment?” Love your parents unconditionally, but stop projecting defective and outdated fears into your current moment.

 

Rene

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Posted by on October 20, 2014 in WISDOM

 

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Teach your children – Show your child that you are a good example when it comes to listening skills.

Distracted Student in Classroom

Explain to your children that the art of listening will make a huge difference in all areas of their lives. Children often cannot focus their attention long enough to fully hear and experience the comments made by others. They hear a few “key” words and then immediately jump to conclusions. Children often hear through a filter system that scans for any words, phrases or indicators that might pose a potential threat to them. They notice the word arrogant in the communication that they are exposed to. The word arrogant can trigger a whole range of defensive postures in the mind of your child. Every word carry a unique “feelings capsule” with it. Some words trigger pleasant emotions like fun, joy, pleasure or it can activate feelings of pain, anxiety, fear, doubt etc, We have millions of thought forms that lie dormant in our sub-conscious filing system that instantaneously come alive when triggered. The circumstances and the conclusions made by your child will dictate what feelings and images were stored with each and every event. The feelings let loose in your child’s system will dictate what behaviour he/she will display in responds. Can you see what process is activated when your child is exposed to any communication? This communication can come from you, a friend or even a stranger on the street.                                                      

Teach your children that poor listening skills will force them to jump to conclusions and make up stories based on speculation. Good listening skills prevent arguments. It is usually not what people say that cause us pain and discomfort. It is the horror movies that we play in our heads that cause the damage. We attempt to fill in the blanks with our own assumptions. Good communications skills provide ample opportunities to question and probe comments made until the matter at hand is clear in our minds. Ask your child to think back about an event that turned out much better than he/she ever anticipated. We often suffer with insomnia when we have incomplete and unfinished business that gallop around in our heads. The unknown is our biggest fear. Teach your child that he/she can save him/herself many hours of study for tests if they develop the habit of focused listening during lectures.                                                           

PARENTS

 Parents teach your children that there are many distractions that prevent them from grasping what is going on at any given moment. The biggest culprit that distracts children is their tendency to think of stuff that has no impact on their current moment. Cell phones became a major distraction today. Children are so busy messaging friends that they hardly hear what you are telling them. Take your TV remote and constantly fade or mute the audio while your child is looking at his/her favourite show. Explain to him/her that the commentary lost during the muted periods is gone forever. They can only speculate what the hero said during the muted periods, but they will never know. Parents be an example and really listen to your children when they want to tell you about their day at school. Stop multitasking and show your child that you are a good example when it comes to listening skills.                                      

Rene

listeningskills

 
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Posted by on September 20, 2014 in WISDOM

 

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Appreciation and Recognition – A single flower/a one-minute phone call can often do more ………..

 

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peopleheader

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EVEN A LITTLE BIT OF RECOGNITION CAN GO AN INCREDIBLY LONG WAY IN A PERSON’S LIFE

 JOHN MAXWELL

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I am often astounded when I see how unappreciative people have become. I am not talking about buying someone a vehicle or sending him or her on a boat trip around the world in appreciation here. I am talking about something much more simple. What I have in mind is the simple and low energy activity of moving your lips and forming the words, “Thank you.” Society has become sour, critical and self-centred and takes far too much for granted. I will start with children. Children today begin at a very young age to become takers and usually sustain this parasite behaviour habit into adulthood. I have seen many parents go without to ensure a good education for their children. I have seen how parents worked two jobs and forfeit their health and best years of their life to ensure that their ungrateful offspring can go around with “designer or brand name” clothing. I can feel the veins in my neck popping when I see how ill mannered children treat their parents as if they are brain dead morons. Appreciation usually only enters the picture when the spoiled child needs to lay his hands of the wallet of their “well worn” parents.

 

The inability to express appreciation is rife in society today. Not only children go around taking things for granted. When last did you catch someone expressing honest out of the heart unsolicited appreciation? People are starved of this vital ingredient in all levels of society today. People blush and become embarrassed when you thank them or express your honest appreciation. You can detect that they are out of practice receiving appreciation. The sudden rush of “good chemicals” from their brains that are released when you feel appreciated makes them dizzy and tend to stun them.

 

I WILL TODAY EXPRESS MY APPRECIATION AS IF I HAVE AN ENDLESS STOCK OF IT IN THE STOREHOUSE OF MY MIND

 

If you want to exert serious influence on people, learn about the power of honest appreciation. Express and show your appreciation more often and see what enormous difference it can make in the lives of people. The rumour that has been around that appreciation cannot be experienced when you become older or when your hair turns grey is just an urban legend. You never grow too old, rich, or fat to enjoy appreciation. It is something that you obtain free of charge and that will not bankrupt you if you hand it out in generous proportions. You can freely use this powerful tool on parents, gardeners, strangers, and even intimate friends.

 

Invite people to tell you more about themselves, their hopes, their fears, and dreams. Show real interest in what they have to say. Learn to take the focus off your own needs, fears, and ego driven aspirations for a while. Most people are so ego driven that they find it very difficult to listen. Do not try and top every story they tell with one of your own that makes their achievement bleak in comparison. Send people “thank you “ notes. I have seen mothers treasure a thank you note for decades that a son or daughter wrote them in a moment of weakness. You also do not need to wait for special occasions to show your appreciation. A single flower or a one-minute phone call can often do more for a worn out mother or father than the medication he or she takes for his or her depression or insomnia. Become a strong source of influence today by giving your appreciation freely to everybody you meet. The amazing thing about giving appreciation and recognition is that it also makes you feel good and worthy.

Rene

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Posted by on August 29, 2014 in WISDOM

 

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We are so afraid that we will blow our acceptability that we hobble along hiding our wounds.

 

rejectionchildren

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Explain to your children that we very early in life learn that we create an unacceptable reaction in others when we reveal how we really feel about certain things. We soon become masters at covering up our true feelings with masks that we hope will hide how we feel about the matter at hand. Some of us swallow our pain and cry behind our masks. We are so afraid that we will blow our acceptability in a group or with a friend that we hobble along hiding our wounds. The problem with acting ok when we are not ok soon becomes part of our lifestyle. Our fear of rejection form new layers daily and soon become a heavy burden to us. We are no longer spontaneous and authentic. We sometimes wear clothing that we hate. We mix with individuals that intimidate and dominate us. Certain individuals are masters when it comes to sniffing out the gateways to our hearts and minds. They use our fears like a magic wand and force us to jump through hoops for them. Teach your children that their feelings are good indicators that measure how well they are managing their lives. Sadness, frustration or depression is strong indicators that it is time to take stock and uncover what is causing these painful reactions.                                                    

Teach your children that nothing and nobody have the right to put them in such a “no win” state of mind. Acting out certain roles to retain acceptability is just too an expensive price to pay. No group or person have the right to play silly “fear of loss” games with them. Teach your child that he/she must become assertive and learn how to ask questions. Your child must not confuse assertiveness with aggression. Show your child that it is better to compose themselves and thus avoid “spontaneous” erratic reactions. Teach your child that he/she must question his/her friend or teacher (examples) when painful emotions are triggered. This must be done in a calm and decisive manner. It is silly to say or do the first thing that comes to mind. Teach your children that they are not puppets on a string that must dance to the tunes that others play. The simple act of confronting and questioning will nullify the power that anyone might think they hold over your child. Standing up against a manipulator or even a bully will grow your children’s self-esteem.

                                                

PARENTS

 

 Parents teach your children that it is much more important how they feel about themselves than what anyone might think of them. Friends and groups will come and go. Teach your child about respect. Respect is something that we earn and not something that is enforced by threatening rejection. Any person that threatens to cut ties with your child because he/she is not prepared to grovel or follow like a sheep is not worth spending time with.                                

Rene

 

photo – http://www.myaspergerschild.com/2013/02/aspergers-subtype-outcast.html

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Posted by on August 27, 2014 in WISDOM

 

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When last did you catch someone expressing honest out of the heart unsolicited appreciation?

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openyourmind.jpg

EVEN A LITTLE BIT OF RECOGNITION CAN GO AN INCREDIBLY LONG WAY IN A PERSON’S LIFE

 JOHN MAXWELL

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I am often astounded when I see how unappreciative people have become. I am not talking about buying someone a vehicle or sending him or her on a boat trip around the world in appreciation here. I am talking about something much more simple. What I have in mind is the simple and low energy activity of moving your lips and forming the words, “Thank you.” Society has become sour, critical and self-centred and takes far too much for granted. I will start with children. Children today begin at a very young age to become takers and usually sustain this parasite behaviour habit into adulthood. I have seen many parents go without to ensure a good education for their children. I have seen how parents worked two jobs and forfeit their health and best years of their life to ensure that their ungrateful offspring can go around with “designer or brand name” clothing. I can feel the veins in my neck popping when I see how ill mannered children treat their parents as if they are brain dead morons. Appreciation usually only enters the picture when the spoiled child needs to lay his hands of the wallet of their “well worn” parents.

 

The inability to express appreciation is rife in society today. Not only children go around taking things for granted. When last did you catch someone expressing honest out of the heart unsolicited appreciation? People are starved of this vital ingredient in all levels of society today. People blush and become embarrassed when you thank them or express your honest appreciation. You can detect that they are out of practice receiving appreciation. The sudden rush of “good chemicals” from their brains that are released when you feel appreciated makes them dizzy and tend to stun them.

 f7bad-gratitude_symbol_in_chinese

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I WILL TODAY EXPRESS MY APPRECIATION AS IF I HAVE AN ENDLESS STOCK OF IT IN THE STOREHOUSE OF MY MIND

 

If you want to exert serious influence on people, learn about the power of honest appreciation. Express and show your appreciation more often and see what enormous difference it can make in the lives of people. The rumour that has been around that appreciation cannot be experienced when you become older or when your hair turns grey is just an urban legend. You never grow too old, rich, or fat to enjoy appreciation. It is something that you obtain free of charge and that will not bankrupt you if you hand it out in generous proportions. You can freely use this powerful tool on parents, gardeners, strangers, and even intimate friends.

 

Invite people to tell you more about themselves, their hopes, their fears, and dreams. Show real interest in what they have to say. Learn to take the focus off your own needs, fears, and ego driven aspirations for a while. Most people are so ego driven that they find it very difficult to listen. Do not try and top every story they tell with one of your own that makes their achievement bleak in comparison. Send people “thank you “ notes. I have seen mothers treasure a thank you note for decades that a son or daughter wrote them in a moment of weakness. You also do not need to wait for special occasions to show your appreciation. A single flower or a one-minute phone call can often do more for a worn out mother or father than the medication he or she takes for his or her depression or insomnia. Become a strong source of influence today by giving your appreciation freely to everybody you meet. The amazing thing about giving appreciation and recognition is that it also makes you feel good and worthy.

 

Rene

 
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Posted by on August 27, 2014 in WISDOM

 

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One of the most corrosive things many of us do is that we often rationalise perceived mistakes we made.

 

    

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One of the most corrosive things many of us do is that we often rationalise perceived mistakes we made. I am often astounded with the justifications that some people come up when they fall short of their own or other’s expectations. They will find something or someone to blame. They often blame the weather, racism, historical disadvantages, God or Satan, the government, the recipe, fellow workers, the children, their partner etc.

What we fail to understand is that rationalisation fortifies our habit of living a life of RESISTANCE. Did it ever cross your mind that mistakes you make or events where you fail to conclude a project successfully is a wonderful opportunity to learn and grow? The word “sin” originally simply meant that a person fell short of the expectation (goal) that he was expected to achieve. It is only when devious and clever operators noticed the wonderful opportunity to use failure as a mind control system that the concept of sin took on the horrific dimensions still used in many religions.

People were made to feel like shit when they once again fell short of the so-called requirements that God personally cast in stone. What amplified the fear of sinning and letting God down was the absolute nonsense preached that nobody can escape the all seeing eye of God. People became devious and began to hide, rationalise and justify their failures. Children that have strict and obsessive parents soon discover that telling the truth can turn into a fairly unpleasant experience. They soon develop a wide range of justifications and rationalisation that would make a judge scratch his head. Some children can think up excuses and reasons for poor performance or a lack of progress that would make most defence attorneys blush.

Something else that must be kept in mind is that all of us look at life through our own filter systems. We see our own perceptions as real and valid and often cannot see anything from other’s perspectives. We become mentally blind and cannot for a moment contemplate why someone is making such a fuss about a perceived mistake we made. Empathy (putting you in other’s shoes) fell apart over the years. Showing empathy means that you admit to your mistakes and as explained earlier could lead to pain and punishment. Every time we get away with the justifications we make up we entrench ourselves deeper in our castle of RESISTANCE.

The problem with “making up stories and justifications” is that we must suddenly remember what bullshit story we used to cover up our dispositions. The joke is that we begin to believe our own stories and will often be prepared to fight to the death to keep what really happened under wraps. Admitting mistakes we made provide wonderful learning opportunities and at the same time extract the toxic substance that accompanies whatever transpired. We came to this dimension to experience and to grow. The mistakes we make are wonderful opportunities to learn and to expand our self-image and self-esteem. You can save lots of time, tap dancing and frustration if you admit your mistake and offer to remedy whatever damage you caused.

There are parent that strongly insist that their children tell them the truth (and nothing but the truth). The child often views a hair raising performance from their parents when they tell the truth. Their mother begin to hyperventilate while she rips bundles of hair out of her sculpt while the father clutch his chest while he whisper and wheeze how he is going to beat the child up and force him to stay in his room for fifteen years. Let’s be honest. Very few children will continue to admit to mistakes after a few dramatic performances by his or her parents. Children later become adults and even later parents. They in turn duplicate the examples set by their parents and in the process produce a new generation of children that RESIST admitting mistakes that also find it impossible to show empathy to those that they harmed in with a mistake they made. The solution is to “tell it like it is” and let the chips fall where they may.

 

Spend today and see if you notice how you or others justify and rationalise when mistakes are made. See how service staff blame the computer when the messed up your account. See how incompetent mechanics flounder and lie when you question the quality of work they did on your vehicle. Try a few time do admit your mistakes without trying to justify your error. You might shock a few individuals that are not used to hearing the truth – but do it anyway. I will continue this series tomorrow.

Rene

 
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Posted by on July 31, 2014 in WISDOM

 

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If you want to exert serious influence on people, learn about the power of honest appreciation.

 

openyourmind.jpg

EVEN A LITTLE BIT OF RECOGNITION CAN GO AN INCREDIBLY LONG WAY IN A PERSON’S LIFE

 JOHN MAXWELL

.

I am often astounded when I see how unappreciative people have become. I am not talking about buying someone a vehicle or sending him or her on a boat trip around the world in appreciation here. I am talking about something much more simple. What I have in mind is the simple and low energy activity of moving your lips and forming the words, “Thank you.” Society has become sour, critical and self-centred and takes far too much for granted. I will start with children. Children today begin at a very young age to become takers and usually sustain this parasite behaviour habit into adulthood. I have seen many parents go without to ensure a good education for their children. I have seen how parents worked two jobs and forfeit their health and best years of their life to ensure that their ungrateful offspring can go around with “designer or brand name” clothing. I can feel the veins in my neck popping when I see how ill mannered children treat their parents as if they are brain dead morons. Appreciation usually only enters the picture when the spoiled child needs to lay his hands of the wallet of their “well worn” parents.

 

The inability to express appreciation is rife in society today. Not only children go around taking things for granted. When last did you catch someone expressing honest out of the heart unsolicited appreciation? People are starved of this vital ingredient in all levels of society today. People blush and become embarrassed when you thank them or express your honest appreciation. You can detect that they are out of practice receiving appreciation. The sudden rush of “good chemicals” from their brains that are released when you feel appreciated makes them dizzy and tend to stun them.

 f7bad-gratitude_symbol_in_chinese

I WILL TODAY EXPRESS MY APPRECIATION AS IF I HAVE AN ENDLESS STOCK OF IT IN THE STOREHOUSE OF MY MIND

 

If you want to exert serious influence on people, learn about the power of honest appreciation. Express and show your appreciation more often and see what enormous difference it can make in the lives of people. The rumour that has been around that appreciation cannot be experienced when you become older or when your hair turns grey is just an urban legend. You never grow too old, rich, or fat to enjoy appreciation. It is something that you obtain free of charge and that will not bankrupt you if you hand it out in generous proportions. You can freely use this powerful tool on parents, gardeners, strangers, and even intimate friends.

 

Invite people to tell you more about themselves, their hopes, their fears, and dreams. Show real interest in what they have to say. Learn to take the focus off your own needs, fears, and ego driven aspirations for a while. Most people are so ego driven that they find it very difficult to listen. Do not try and top every story they tell with one of your own that makes their achievement bleak in comparison. Send people “thank you “ notes. I have seen mothers treasure a thank you note for decades that a son or daughter wrote them in a moment of weakness. You also do not need to wait for special occasions to show your appreciation. A single flower or a one-minute phone call can often do more for a worn out mother or father than the medication he or she takes for his or her depression or insomnia. Become a strong source of influence today by giving your appreciation freely to everybody you meet. The amazing thing about giving appreciation and recognition is that it also makes you feel good and worthy.

 

Rene

 
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Posted by on June 20, 2014 in WISDOM

 

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Let us teach our children that champions are not only measured on their wins, but on their ability to cope with their losses!

Distracted Student in Classroom

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FAIL YOUR WAY TO SUCCESS

If there is one thing that the system failed to teach you it is how to cope with failure. Most of us do not have the slightest idea about the power and dynamics of failure. We grew up with this perception of opposites. You are either a winner or a loser. Nobody took the time to teach you how to cope with failure. You were lead to believe that life is all about winning, but your teachers, parents and preachers lied to you.

If they understood the real dynamics of life they would have prepared you for failure as well. They made us all fear failure. They linked shame and guilt to failure and even added a sprinkle of sin to complete this warped success picture that most of us hold in our minds.

When you play the game of life you soon discover that you are on the losing end much more often than you ever anticipated. When you lose, your self-image and your self-esteem are finally grinded to a pulp because of your wrong perceptions about losing.

What the people that were responsible for your preparation for the game of life forgot to teach you was that there is no shame in losing. We tend to look at life through our rose-colored glasses. We play to win, but soon discover that the perfect score is nothing more than a fantasy.

In real life the best of the best do not play a perfect round of golf every time. The kicker in rugby does not get the ball through the poles with every attempt. The super athlete does not take the podium on the number one spot every time. The sooner you accept the reality of life is that you will be faced with failure for as long as you breath the sooner you will come to term with the art of winning. When you lose you are not a piece of rubbish or failure, but on the day just fell short of your full potential.

Study the super stars in sport and you will see one powerful similarity. You will see that the champions do not only know how to win, but how to lose as well. They understand the reality and dynamics of winning and losing. They know that true champions show character; they know how to put their defeats behind them. Champions never cry over spilled milk. They learn from their defeats, but then they put it right out of their minds. They are champions because they mastered the art of losing and that is why they are the best of the best.

 


SPREAD THE WORD

 

If you have a son or daughter then find him or her right now and talk to him about winning and losing. If you are a parent that makes your child feel like shit when he or she fails at something, stop it right now.

If you are a manager and you want to double your production, stop projecting your fear of losing on your staff. If you are a teacher then teach your students that it is ok to fail as long as they learn from their experience. Teach the child that he or she will most probably fail until their final day on this planet and might as well come to term with this reality.

Stop talking about winning for a while and teach the students how to recover after being knocked down. There is no shame in losing and it is not God’s way of punishing you for some mistake you made. Failure is the hard reality of life, a fact that can never be denied.

Let us teach our children that champions are not only measured on their wins, but on their ability to cope with their losses. Take the pressure off your kids, friends and family and show them that they have the power and ability to overcome any adversity or failure that life may throw in their path. Some of the best authors, doctors, lawyers and athletes were conned out of their heritage by this false perception. The perception that winning is the full story about making a success of life.

 

Let us not fear failure any longer my friend. Let us use failure as our stepping-stones to success. Failure can become our grave or bridge. The choice is in our hands my friend. Spread the word that failure is ok. Failure is not the end, but part of the process.

Rene

 
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Posted by on June 17, 2014 in WISDOM

 

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Success is thus a ridding process. – Your parents “programmed” you by using their own perceptions as base.

 

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Most of us are young, inexperienced and extremely naïve when we start rearing our children. We raise our children on a trial and error basis. There are virtually no education or preparation available to young couples when they get married or when they decide to start a family. The first six years in a child’s life is his or her most important formative years. The “emotional” foundation put down in his heart and mind during this important period will become the decision “filter” that he or she will use for the rest of his or her life. It impacts on every aspect of his or her being if a child was “damaged” psychologically in these vulnerable years.

We think of child abuse and serious neglect when we read statements like this, but psychological and emotional damage can be caused by many other factors. Most of us do not know that everything that we do in life is motivated by a desire to experience pleasure or circumvent pain. This mechanism controls who you are and impacts on every other aspect of your life. This mechanism works on a subliminal basis and can make you or break you.

Your parents “programmed” you by using their own perceptions as base. They programmed their fears and preferences into your decision-making mechanism. You might fade under pressure or mentally hide in terror because of an unpleasant experience that your mother had in her childhood.

When you study the real achievers in life you soon discover that they broke the negative influences that their parents cemented into their decision-making mechanism. They look at each new project or problem in a very objective and realistic manner. They do not allow the automatic pain and pleasure system to kick in as it usually does.

Success is thus a ridding process. You need to get rid of your historical programs that are possibly outdated or that may have been warped from the start. Take each person, event or problem and focus on it objectively and in the moment. They rise above other people because of their wisdom and insight. Stop reacting automatically when faced with a choice and ask yourself, “What is the valid data in the moment?” Love your parents unconditionally, but stop projecting defective and outdated fears into your current moment.

 

Rene

 
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Posted by on June 12, 2014 in WISDOM

 

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Brain Washing (Jesus Camp) Painful to watch how children are brainwashed and programmed with guilt/fear for life!

 

It is disconcerting and painful to see how children are brainwashed since early childhood into specific religious convictions and perceptions. There will never be peace and understanding while we create these voids. The pathetic mindset of “our God is better than their God” caused more division, hate and bloodshed than we will ever admit. It is these methods that create robots that just cannot think or reason for themselves when they grow up. Empathy, understanding and love are only dished out to those that match our own religious persuasions. We are all one. We with our delusional God perceptions will never unite while we hate and despise those that display a different mindset when it comes to God. We call this God force by many names, but reach out in our desperation to the same source of life.

Rene

 
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Posted by on June 8, 2014 in WISDOM

 

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