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Book Review – “101 Relationship Myths” about sexual attraction”

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Here’s an excerpt from “101 Relationship Myths” about sexual attraction”. Enjoy!

“One of the relationship myths that has caused me the most pain during the course of my “relationship career” is the idea that strong sexual attraction and falling in love means you’re compatible and a good match. So a couple of years ago I decided to take a closer look at this idea and find out if it’s really true that when you’re on cloud nine and feel strong sexual attraction to someone, it means you’re going to be a good match as a couple.

It didn’t take me long to find the answer. When I looked back at some of my previous relationships, I could see that even though we were really attracted to each other, the reality was that we were not that good a match. Yes we might have felt blissful or even in love in the beginning, but when it came to relationships, lifestyle and interests, we often had very different views, preferences and values.

This realization was a revelation to me. Up until then, I’d been basing my choice of partner on whether or not there was a strong sexual attraction between us and not on whether or not we were a good match. And suddenly I could see the painful consequences of this misunderstanding – for me and my partners.

One of the consequences of believing that strong sexual attraction means you’re a good match was that in the beginning of a new relationship, I often found myself exaggerating or only focusing on the woman’s “positive” sides (oh she’s so beautiful, so spiritual, and so forth) while downplaying or even ignoring her more “negative” sides. For example, I would overlook the sudden unkind remark that made me feel uncomfortable and instead sweep it under the carpet because I was so much in love. Or I’d accept an action or actions on her part that I’d never accept in anyone else. But in her case, because the attraction was so strong, I’d let it slide. And I have to admit that if I had been totally honest with myself, the truth was I already knew on the very first date, in the very first five minutes or so of our conversation, why the relationship would sooner or later become unworkable. Yes it’s true, I actually knew from the very beginning the reasons why we would not be a good match…

But because I was so infatuated and innocently believed that strong sexual attraction means you’re a good match, I ignored reality. And the result was almost always the same. As soon as the intoxication of falling in love began to wear off and the reality began to set in, it would become more and more painful for me to stay in the relationship. And then, the long, difficult battle to extricate myself would begin.

Find your core values

So if strong sexual attraction and falling in love don’t necessarily mean you’re a good match – what does? What makes two people a good match?

One of the things that make two people a good match is that they have the same “core” values. By having the same core values, I don’t mean being the same personality type or having the same education or working in the same field. I mean you have the same basic attitudes when it comes to what’s important in life, not least what’s important when it comes to relationships.

One of the reasons why many relationships get into serious trouble is that the man and the woman don’t have the same core values. A “mismatch” like this usually spells trouble because most people live according to their core values – and usually unconsciously expect their partners to do so too. This can be problematic when these core values don’t match. Let’s take an example. Let’s say one of your core values is “freedom” while your partner’s core values are “security and feeling safe”. Obviously this can make your relationship problematic because you will both unconsciously be expecting the other to behave in a manner that is in conflict with his or her core value or values. So when you are faithful to your core value and give yourself and your partner lots of “freedom”, your partner may get upset and feel insecure because his/her core values of “security and feeling safe” are not being met or are threatened. The opposite is true too. When your partner tries to live in harmony with his/her core value and strives for “security” for example, by wanting clear agreements on how you do things, the “freedom-loving” partner feels stifled and inhibited. You feel your core value of “freedom” is being threatened. So this is why it is so important to be more aware of what you and your partner’s (or a potential partner’s) core values are.

My former girlfriend, sexologist and couples therapist Joan Ørting has developed a good exercise to help us become more aware of our core values when it comes to relationships. I suggest you give this exercise a try – it can be really interesting. Ask yourself the following questions and answer as honestly as you can.

Question: What is most important for you in a relationship?

Answer: That my partner accepts me and loves me unconditionally.

Question: How does it make you feel when your partner accepts you and loves you unconditionally?

Answer: It makes me feel SAFE.

Conclusion: So feeling SAFE is one of your core values.

Repeat the questions until you identify 3-5 of your main core values. Once you’ve done this, prioritize the values so that you end up with a list that looks like this:

My core values when it comes to relationships:
1) FEELING SAFE
2) BEING TOGETHER
3) JOY

Or perhaps you’ll come up with a list of core values that looks like this:

1) FREEDOM
2) ADVENTURE
3) BEING TOGETHER

Becoming aware of your core values can be a really big help when it comes to determining if you and a potential partner are a good match. And if you’re already in a relationship and are having problems, it may be because your core values do not match. So it can also be helpful to do this exercise with your partner and then talk about what your respective core values are. Understanding how your core values differ can make it easier to communicate with each other in the future.”

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Click here to read a short extract from the book.

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Posted by on March 19, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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Live today as if it is your last day on the planet.

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IMAGINE WRITING AN UNPLEASANT LETTER TO YOURSELF!

 

IMAGINE WRITING AN UNPLEASANT LETTER TO YOURSELF, MAILING IT, RECEIVING IT, OPENING IT AND THEN BEING UPSET AS YOU READ IT. THAT IS WHAT WORRY IS LIKE!

 

MOVIES IN YOUR MIND: Every time you worry you make movies in your mind that are full of imagined horror, disaster scenes and unhappy endings. Fear used by your ego) is the director, producer and writer of these fictional horror movies that you often play on the screen of your mind. A frightening fiction takes the place of reality. Worry robs you of your wisdom, your power and your true creativity. It will attempt to steal your sanity, take away your piece of mind, destroy your relationships and make off with your sense of humour.

Worry cannot give you anything of value and was always and will forever remain a taker. Your ego loves to see you cringe with fear and cry in agony because it gives him a feeling of control and power. While you are mentally kept busy fearing what might happen (ten seconds or ten years from now) you can give very little attention to what is actually happening in the now. Your mind is not in the now and predominantly occupied with the anticipated pending disasters, losses or pain that might come your way at some future time.

Because of your strong desire to survive, live, avoid pain and loss your mind goes into a panic mode, frantically looking for potential remedies for these disasters that might materialise at some future time. Once the ego successfully puts you on the run mentally it will put more wood on the fire by using fear to fuel the flames that are already busy burning your self-image and self-esteem to a crisp.

Once you are trapped in this horror movie that portrays painful disaster that could materialise at some future date the ego dances with joy. When this happened he successfully removed you from the NOW and forces you to work feverously on the FUTURE.

While you are locked into the future and busy wreaking your brain for answers to predominantly imaginary problems that might never effect you, you lose all your ability to remain successful and effective in the now. A friend once said, “You build imaginary castles and then even have the audacity to paint them”. Worry has never once in the whole history of the human race saved the day. At best worry is an alarm bell, but no alarm bell has ever put out a fire. The only way you can break this deadly habit of living in the future is to replace worry with something much more constructive and productive.

 

I WORRY ABOUT MY CHILDREN: Worry affirms fear, danger, weakness and mistrust. Worry will never make your child safe. Most parents know how painful it can be to wait for a child when he or she is out. You lie awake and create the most horrific pictures in your mind. You see your child in the mangled wreck of his or her car or how he or she lies in an ally bleeding with no one to help him or her.

When you think about your worries about your children carefully you finally come to the conclusion that you can worry yourself to a standstill or heart attack and can still not make the slightest change to their fate while they are away. You cannot protect him or her, ward off robbers or kill a potential rapist while you are lying in your bed perspiring with fear and anxiety.

All you are doing is causing yourself serious discomfort about something that you have very little control over. The only way to handle this type of worry is to teach your children wisdom, people skills and ethics and then to trust them when they leave the house for a party or evening out. Keep in mind that they are children and will make just as many mistakes as you made at that age. When they fail, let you down or make a mistake they need your support and not a lecture about what could have been if they listened to you. You must learn to let go for your own sake and for the sake of your children.

 

I WORRY ABOUT MY FRIENDS: Worry is not love it is fear in action. When you worry about someone you are sending them a stream of fear and doubt. You are filling your heart and mind with danger. Remember you can worry yourself to a standstill and it will still not change a thing about what may or may not befall your friend(s).

I know we are living in a period in our history that is inundated with danger. There is virtually no family or friendship circle that has not been touched by a tragedy cause by the crime wave that is virtually out of control in our country. It forces us to live in the future and to feed our egos that are having a field day feeding on our fear.

We must just remember that all our worry will not diminish the danger or prevent injury or death to come to our friends. We can remind them to be careful and wish them well. Once they leave we need to let go of them. If we mentally remain attached to them until we see them the next time we are taking on a heavy, but useless responsibility.

You can worry yourself into a stupor and still discover that “what will be will be”. The only victim here is you. Let us be perfectly honest and agree that percentage wise the odds are with us that we will see our friends safe and sound when they return. If you are over-sensitised about crime then stop reading newspapers and switch off the news for a while. All you are doing is feeding your ego with the affirmations that scream at you from most newspaper front pages. Let go and accept that all your worrying will not ensure the safe return of your friends.

 

I WORRY ABOUT ROMANCE: The more you worry about finding or keeping a partner, the needier, controlling, manipulative and demanding you become. Worry about the love in your life can be devastating. You are killing your romance when you allow fear of loss and failure to take over your thinking.

There is nothing that you can do to “police” your wife, husband or lover. When you allow “fear of loss” or “suspicion” to take over your thinking you are setting your relationship up for failure. Worry will not cause your partner to remain faithful to you. You are just poisoning your mind and your relationship when you sit at home worrying yourself to a standstill about the fidelity of your partner. It will not prevent your partner from straying; all it will do is make your life and the life of your partner a living hell.

 

I WORRY ABOUT MY HEALTH: Worry will not make you healthier or fitter. On the contrary, enough worry will give you headaches, migraines, stress, ulcers, hypertension and ill health.

Go to any doctor’s consulting room and you will find that 75% of the patients in the waiting room suffer with some form of stress related illness. Worry does not contribute in any way to good health or longevity. If you feel worried about anything when it comes to health matters then go and see a good doctor.

Avoid self-diagnoses at all cost and listen to his or her advice. You can put yourself and everybody that have something to do with you through hell if you become over sensitised on your body. I am not even going to attempt to give you health tips in this document, but want you to accept that the habit or worry will not contribute in any shape or form to your overall health status.

 

I can continue using examples like this forever. I know people that worry because they do not have something to worry about. The habit of worry always takes you into the future and is driven by fear of the unknown. Worry is a sure sign that indicates to you that you are no longer living your life in the moment. You allowed your ego to hijack your ability to think and act in the now. It forces you to live in the future.

I am sure that you have experienced many nightmares during your lifetime. Can you still remember how you were tormented in these dreams? How you tried to run and hide without much success. When you allow worry to cast your mind into the future you are also unable to do anything about the horror scripts that you wrote and play in these mentally projected dramas.

Only when you wake up and return to the now and your heart stops pounding with fear can you take control of your worry. You become totally inefficient when you leave the “now” level and attempt to operate in the past or future. When you discover the power of the now your life takes on a powerful new dimension. Fear flees in front of a person that is well grounded in the moment.

When you become a person that can tune out the future and the past and remain focused in the moment you become powerful and worry-proof. When you understand that worry and guilt are the two most useless emotions ever invented you raise your game of life to levels that you never thought possible. Once you understand the utter futility of future living you can live, love and perform powerful deeds in the now. Most of us have no clue what is going to happen even thirty seconds from now. All we have to work with is our own warped forecasts.

Live today as if it is your last day on the planet and you will come alive and wake up from your nightmare lifestyle. The day that you loose your fear of dying you wake up to life. The day that you stop worrying what other people think of you, you come alive and experience purity. The day that you unconditionally accepts what that day may present you with you cross the bridge of courage and endurance. You can remove all the horror images that your ego has created when you decide to LIVE IN THE NOW. You are the creator of your world and can decide who and what may live or die in your creation.

Rene

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Posted by on March 17, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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ARE YOU SICK OF THE SAME OLD DAILY SH*T?

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IS IT A NEW DAY OR IS IT A REPLAY OF YESTERDAY?

 

DO YOU OFTEN FEEL THAT YOU WANT TO SHOUT OUT, “SAME DAY, SAME OLD STUFF”? WE ARE THE CREATORS OF OUR OWN WORLD AND DO ACTUALLY HAVE CONTROL OF MOST OF THE THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN IT.

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ARE YOU SICK OF THE SAME OLD STUFF? Most people live as if there is some kind of invisible force that captured their will and ability to remain active and productive. They act as if they are helpless victims of life and circumstances. Just look around you and see if you can detect one single person that made a really dramatic and sustained modification (turnaround) to his or her unsatisfactory lifestyle.

People often bitch and moan about their work, relationships, spouses and unruly children and act as if they are the victims of some sinister plot. When you go to social occasions you often discover that most people spend hours trying to top each other’s “victim” stories while they stare at each other through the bottoms of their cocktail glasses. When you finally drive home after these “socials” you often feel drained and incomplete.

Your “social” with your friends might have made you feel slightly better initially because you received confirmation that you are not the only one that are a victim in this cesspool called life. You are exposed to “bad news” messages wherever you go. Whenever you feel enthusiastic and upbeat, buy a newspaper. Before you read two pages you will be back to your normal subdued self.

We might feel that we are living under very testing conditions today and that our situation is unique, but when you investigate the “victim” phenomena worldwide you will find that most people suffer with this form of mental bondage.

We use crime and instability as our crutch to justify our victim behaviour in South Africa. You will discover that an endless range of excuses are used to justify “victim” behaviour globally even when crime is not so visible as in South Africa. The bottom line is that “victim” behaviour is something that comes from the inside, from your own mind.

We tend to “think” ourselves to a standstill and into an early grave. The “look at me, I am a victim” turmoil in the world has reached pandemic proportions. The collective negative mood on planet earth is negative and very destructive. The main reason why people experience these very immobilizing emotions is because of the overall habit of living in the PAST or the FUTURE. We can think up the most amazing disasters in the theatre of our minds. We can die a thousand deaths in our mind with our habit of projecting ourselves into imagined future disasters.

 

WHEN YOU LIVE IN THE FUTURE YOU GIVE UP YOUR RIGHT TO ACT IN THE NOW!

 

We form opinions at a very young age about most things in life. We have “feelings” about almost anything that we can ever be faced with. Any conclusion that we came to during our lifetime will usually remain part of our coping style until the day we die.

Most people fail to understand that “everything will remain the same until a change is made”. If you are allowing fear of something that might never happen to control your thinking you are disqualifying yourself from the reality of the now.

Just think of the key areas in your life such as your work, relationships and general lifestyle and take stock of your “general” behaviour in these areas. You need to study your habitual reaction pattern in any area if it is not working as you hoped it would. Stop waiting for others to modify their behaviour, beg you for forgiveness or that the problem will go away.

Become bold and active and start doing something about whatever you feel is bothering you. Nothing will change until you activate such change. Remember if you are in waiting mode and your dispute is with someone else you are handing control to this person. When you live in the NOW and you act in the present tense you make your life predictable and much more stress free. When you live in the FUTURE and fail to take action in the NOW you are “manufacturing” your own house of pain.

 

The only way that you can escape this stuck in the future or past zone is to begin to live in the NOW. Give yourself a fair chance to make a success of any given day. You can do this by talking to yourself.

Tell yourself that you are not interested in things that might never happen or that happened in the past. You are talking to yourself all day long, make these “chats” constructive and motivational. Give yourself a break and stop running yourself down. When you find your mind drifting into the “horror” mode tell yourself that you are not going to waste energy on events that may never happen. If you mind drifts into the “feel sorry for me mode”, take control and say, “I create my own circumstances and will not create a torture chamber for myself today.” Wipe the slate clean every morning and attack each day with enthusiasm and commitment. Live for the moment my friend. Today and each and every day is indeed a new day with wonderful opportunities if you are focused on the now.

Rene

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Posted by on March 16, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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We often fear change. Growth is not possible without change.

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Many take little notice of motivational or inspirational articles, books or posters. Others in turn scan the horizon for anything that promise to magically turn them into unstoppable  manifestation machines. We have been flooded with so-called inspirational books and material for many years now. It is almost pathetic to notice how authors, some well known and some that never wrote a book in their life before jump on the bandwagon when a new movie or DVD come out and achieve success. A good example of this is when the DVD’s came out with the titles “What the Bleep” and “The Secret”. An avalanche of books, DVD’s and articles suddenly rained down on us like a thunderstorm. Everyone jumped on the idea of manifestation. Deceptive seeds were sown by well intended and not so well intended authors and lecturers that created the impression that you can simply flop down on a comfortable chair and visualise your way to success and affluence. Millions of books and DVD’s were sold world-wide. The “secret” that turned out not to really be a secret became a best seller world-wide. Don’t get me wrong. Both the books mentioned contain powerful material that could turn your life around, but fail to really explain that visualisation must be followed by sustained action if you want to achieve your objectives. The blue print that governs most of your actions and choices is mirrored in the environment around you that you face daily. Many of us slipped into a certain channel early in life. We then simply become a copy machine that churn out the same old attitude and outcomes in the patterns that we live daily. Very few of us make regular attitude adjustment and modify the perceptions that form the main pillars that we built our lives on. We make the same old mistakes and act in the same manner without stopping for a moment to question the validity of our actions and choices. Our attitude towards life in general and our attitude towards our children, friends, politics, race etc. remain the same. The same responds patterns jump into action when triggered. The most effective way to get from where you are to where you want to be is to adjust your attitude. New software must be downloaded into our subconscious minds. What I find amazing is the reluctance we often display when it comes to the modification of mindsets that no longer serve their purpose. We must reinvent ourselves on a daily basis. We cannot desperately hang onto stuff that is busy poisoning our soul. This message might be the best news you received in decades. The reminder that you as an intelligent human being can reinvent yourself, your relationship, career or anything else whenever you want to must be phenomenal news to you. We often fear change, but look around you and you will notice that growth is not possible without change. They say that you need to reserve a place at the funny farm if you believe that you can repeat the same old behaviour and achieve a different outcome.

 

Rene

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Posted by on March 14, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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We have been domesticated like a pet into believing that we are our history?

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You have free will and make an endless number of choices daily. You can choose to accept “what is” and manage “what is” to the best of our ability or you can choose to ignore “what is” and base your actions and reactions on illusions, nonsense and outdated perceptions. Illusions and false perceptions can make our days depressing and unproductive. We suffer and experience pain and rejection because we base most of our actions and reactions on data that is not valid or accurate. We became trapped in deadly repetitive daily cycles. Very few of us take the time to stop for a moment and ask ourselves why we are persisting with our self-sabotaging behaviour. We forget that we are acting on our stage of life to learn and experience. We are not the actor. We are and will remain a spiritual being even while we are “in character” on our stage. One of the biggest travesties done to us during our childhood was when they convince us that we are the actor on our stage. We are as I indicated earlier just a student at Earth School. Actors remove their make-up and go home when the show is over. Why have we been domesticated like a pet into believing that we are our history? This social control system warped our perception about our self-worth and stopped many of us to “move on” after we learned our lessons and experienced what we desired.

 Rene

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Actors remove their make-up and go home when the show is over. Why have we been domesticated like a pet to believe that we are our history? 

 Rene

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Posted by on March 12, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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Not making a choice is actually also a choice that you make.

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Most of us sooner or later discover that we have two forces that course through our veins. We automatically vacillate between the “upper” and “lower” limits of this force on a moment to moment basis. The UPPER end of the pole of this system is called the “ACTION” zone and the “LOWEST” end of this pole is characterized as the “NON-ACTION” zone. The feelings generated by thoughts, events or for that matter everything and everyone we encounter decides the quality of the output we intend using to deal with the matter at hand. The mistake we make is that many of us think that we are at the mercy of this so-called automatic reaction patterns that endlessly flood our minds and hearts daily. We jump with joy and run like the wind when good feelings are generated by the thought or event that we are confronted with (ACTION) or shut down and retreat into a dark place in our minds (NON-ACTION). What many of us never knew or understood is that there is no need to remain a victim of our historical conditioning or past mistakes. All that is real and valid is our current moment. We can if we decide to take control act in an appropriate and powerful manner notwithstanding the threat and feelings of doubt that we might be confronted with. You are part of a universal force that caters for evolution on a moment to moment basis. Call this force God my friend if it will make you feel more comfortable. This force is fair and allows every living thing in the universe to evolve, grow and expand notwithstanding his or her history. You can make a fresh start on a moment to moment basis. You are allocated 86400 new moments in any given day where you can make a fresh start. There is no need to fear failure or hide in the “NON-ACTION” zone. The NON-ACTION zone is a place where you become stagnant and RESIST risking the possibility of getting hurt or disappointed. The choices you make decide the quality of the outcomes you experience daily. Very few of us understand that not making a choice is actually also a choice that you make. You choose NON-ACTION and RESISTANCE and give up control.

 

Spend some time today to probe why you have this reluctance to take action. What is the cause of the resistance deep inside you that is preventing you from being the best you that you can ever be? Now make a list of all the things you will do if you knew that you cannot fail. Make a list of everything that comes to mind. Think it and then ink it. I will continue this series tomorrow.

 

Rene

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Posted by on March 10, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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Constantly ask yourself, “Why am I such an idiot” and you will continue to display “idiotic” behaviour.

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YOU ARE ASKING YOURSELF QUESTIONS ALL DAY LONG. THE TYPE OF QUESTIONS YOU ASK YOURSELF WILL DETERMINE THE QUALITY OF YOUR LIFE, THE TYPE OF RELATIONSHIPS YOU HAVE AND THE SUCCESS YOU ACHIEVE IN YOUR CAREER!

The process of thinking is nothing more than an ongoing series of questions that you ask yourself. You question your own performance and the performances of others all the time. You ability to focus on the positive in life is determined by the type of questions that you ask yourself. If you constantly ask yourself, “Why am I such an idiot” you will continue to display “idiotic” behaviour. When you continually ask yourself, “Why is everybody picking on me all the time” you will continue to display the role of a victim. If you ask yourself, “Why am I continually missing out on career advances and promotions” you will make very little progress in whatever career you currently follow.

Superficially these questions might seem as if they come from the heart, but if you study them closer you will see that they cannot in any way enhance your performance in any area of your life. If you for example ask, “Why am I such an idiot” you will never really discover why you feel that you are giving the performance of an idiot all the time.

We also ask questions about the people around us all the time. We will for example ask, “Why is he always out to belittle me and make me look bad in situations.” This type of question can send you on a mental trip into a maze that will never provide you with a solution to the discomfort this person are causing you. We must stop asking ourselves questions that are designed to make our already negative and despondent feelings even more destructive.

 

The quality of your life depends on the type of questions you ask yourself about your own performance and the performances of others. If you are at the moment feeling let down by someone and you ask, “Why is everybody always letting me down” will not alleviate your pain, but rather deepen the feeling of disgust or despondency in you.

I think that this questioning habit comes from our childhood where our parents “questioned” us when we made mistakes or did something wrong. We seem to take this parent to child method of questioning into our adult life.

 

I WILL ALWAYS ASK MYSELF QUESTIONS THAT WILL LEAD ME TO SOLUTIONS. QUESTIONS THAT PUT ME IN AN ENDLESS LOOP WILL NOT IMPROVE MY LIFESTYLE OR SOLVE ANYTHING!

 

The way to question yourself should always bring your closer to a solution to your perceived problem. Rather ask, “What can I do to improve my performance in maths” and avoid the “Why am I such an idiot” style. When you ask “how can I improve” questions you, start thinking solutions while when ask “Why am I such an “idiot” questions you just deepen the negative perception you have about your performance in maths.

When you begin to pose solution-orientated questions, you are directing your attention towards things you can do to improve your status. If you ask destructive questions that only highlight your perceived inadequacies, you are setting yourself up for ongoing failure.

You can ask yourself questions on paper and begin to grow right now. If you list a number of “improvement questions” and begin to work on things you can do to improve on your current performance you are well on your way to success. If you are unhappy about something then ask, “What can I do right now to become more happy and fulfilled?” Make a list of positive question on the following subjects and then answer them in a constructive manner.

Make a list of questions on happy, success, passion, gratitude, money etc. Now answer your “what can I do to improve” questions. You will be amazed what progress you make in a relative short period. Remember questions are good as long as they are posed and answered in a constructive manner.

 

Rene

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Posted by on March 7, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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If you want to exert serious influence on people, learn about the power of honest appreciation.

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EVEN A LITTLE BIT OF RECOGNITION CAN GO AN INCREDIBLY LONG WAY IN A PERSON’S LIFE

 JOHN MAXWELL

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I am often astounded when I see how unappreciative people have become. I am not talking about buying someone a vehicle or sending him or her on a boat trip around the world in appreciation here. I am talking about something much more simple. What I have in mind is the simple and low energy activity of moving your lips and forming the words, “Thank you.” Society has become sour, critical and self-centred and takes far too much for granted. I will start with children. Children today begin at a very young age to become takers and usually sustain this parasite behaviour habit into adulthood. I have seen many parents go without to ensure a good education for their children. I have seen how parents worked two jobs and forfeit their health and best years of their life to ensure that their ungrateful offspring can go around with “designer or brand name” clothing. I can feel the veins in my neck popping when I see how ill mannered children treat their parents as if they are brain dead morons. Appreciation usually only enters the picture when the spoiled child needs to lay his hands of the wallet of their “well worn” parents.

 

The inability to express appreciation is rife in society today. Not only children go around taking things for granted. When last did you catch someone expressing honest out of the heart unsolicited appreciation? People are starved of this vital ingredient in all levels of society today. People blush and become embarrassed when you thank them or express your honest appreciation. You can detect that they are out of practice receiving appreciation. The sudden rush of “good chemicals” from their brains that are released when you feel appreciated makes them dizzy and tend to stun them.

 

I WILL TODAY EXPRESS MY APPRECIATION AS IF I HAVE AN ENDLESS STOCK OF IT IN THE STOREHOUSE OF MY MIND

 

If you want to exert serious influence on people, learn about the power of honest appreciation. Express and show your appreciation more often and see what enormous difference it can make in the lives of people. The rumour that has been around that appreciation cannot be experienced when you become older or when your hair turns grey is just an urban legend. You never grow too old, rich, or fat to enjoy appreciation. It is something that you obtain free of charge and that will not bankrupt you if you hand it out in generous proportions. You can freely use this powerful tool on parents, gardeners, strangers, and even intimate friends.

 

Invite people to tell you more about themselves, their hopes, their fears, and dreams. Show real interest in what they have to say. Learn to take the focus off your own needs, fears, and ego driven aspirations for a while. Most people are so ego driven that they find it very difficult to listen. Do not try and top every story they tell with one of your own that makes their achievement bleak in comparison. Send people “thank you “ notes. I have seen mothers treasure a thank you note for decades that a son or daughter wrote them in a moment of weakness. You also do not need to wait for special occasions to show your appreciation. A single flower or a one-minute phone call can often do more for a worn out mother or father than the medication he or she takes for his or her depression or insomnia. Become a strong source of influence today by giving your appreciation freely to everybody you meet. The amazing thing about giving appreciation and recognition is that it also makes you feel good and worthy.

Rene

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Posted by on February 23, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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OUR OBJECTIVE IS TO BECOME LOVE. NOT ACT AS IF WE LOVE, BUT TO BECOME UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

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BE BOLD AND STRETCH YOUR COMFORT ZONE DAILY – NO GROWTH IS POSSIBLE WHILE YOU REPEAT THE SAME OLD STUFF ENDLESSLY- IT IS OK TO BE SCEPTICAL, BUT OPEN YOUR MIND AND BEGIN TO LOOK AT LIFE FROM MANY DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVES. YOU WILL OFTEN BE CHALLENGED WHEN YOU VISIT THE READING ROOM. WE ONLY GROW AND EVOLVE WHEN WE DARE TO GO OUTSIDE WALLS OF OUR BELIEF SYSTEM. OUR OBJECTIVE IS TO BECOME LOVE. NOT ACT AS IF WE LOVE, BUT TO BECOME UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. OUR INTENTION DIRECT ALL OUR ACTIONS. – VISIT THE READING ROOM DAILY AND DISCOVER HOW POWERFUL YOU ARE!

RENE

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Choices 1

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Posted by on February 23, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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When instant gratification becomes our main objective, we rapidly slide into the abyss of failure and discomfort.

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Assist people to achieve what they really desire if you want to make friends for life, become awfully rich or become very popular. Our expectation and hope drives us forward and helps us to overcome serious setbacks.

 

Attempt to make the right and best choice on a moment-to-moment basis. If you are going to wait for the perfect moment or until you have all the data, you might never make up your mind. Remember that your in-basket will still be full even on the day you die.

 

Attitude plays a vital role in everything you do. A poor attitude can never produce good results. A poor attitude is at the root of most failures. A poor attitude caused more marriages to fail and relationships to break down than all the other reasons put together.

 

Avoid head on confrontations or disputes if you can. There are usually no winners in such ego driven fights. The urge to win is sometimes so strong that it clouds our mind and judgment. An obsession by both parties to win usually lead to a major loss for at least one of the parties.

 

Avoid people that have the tendency to make their problem yours. By appearing helpless or lost, they con you into taking ownership of their problems. You are not a garbage truck that are contracted to remove everybody’s garbage (problems).

 

Avoid people that promise you the world, but do little. When you rely on an “empty promise” person, he will cause you endless problems. Good advice is to do things yourself if you want to make sure that they are taken care of.

 

Avoid saying things that could make people feel idiotic or inferior. It might give you a short-term ego boost, but in the long run, you will create an army of enemies that would love to even the score.

 

Avoid the misconception that people want to hear what is right and just. They want to be fed what they feel suits their current purpose. Give people what they want and you will be richly rewarded. When you help people to achieve their own objectives, they are usually more susceptible to yours.

 

Balance and decency is in during periods of success. When instant gratification becomes our main objective, we rapidly slide into the abyss of failure and discomfort. The wise man mastered the art of projecting himself into others’ shoes. When you act in a fair and responsible manner you enhance your chances of success many fold.

 

Be careful and remain grounded when you are faced with obsessive driven individuals. These individuals tend to exaggerate and amplify things in an attempt to buy your support. Certain politicians, clergy and conmen are experts at the art of mass hypnosis. When you are in the presence of passion driven individuals you need to question, probe and take nothing for granted. If you do you will do it at your peril.

Rene

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Posted by on February 21, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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We often fear change. Growth is not possible without change.

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Many take little notice of motivational or inspirational articles, books or posters. Others in turn scan the horizon for anything that promise to magically turn them into unstoppable  manifestation machines. We have been flooded with so-called inspirational books and material for many years now. It is almost pathetic to notice how authors, some well known and some that never wrote a book in their life before jump on the bandwagon when a new movie or DVD come out and achieve success. A good example of this is when the DVD’s came out with the titles “What the Bleep” and “The Secret”. An avalanche of books, DVD’s and articles suddenly rained down on us like a thunderstorm. Everyone jumped on the idea of manifestation. Deceptive seeds were sown by well intended and not so well intended authors and lecturers that created the impression that you can simply flop down on a comfortable chair and visualise your way to success and affluence. Millions of books and DVD’s were sold world-wide. The “secret” that turned out not to really be a secret became a best seller world-wide. Don’t get me wrong. Both the books mentioned contain powerful material that could turn your life around, but fail to really explain that visualisation must be followed by sustained action if you want to achieve your objectives. The blue print that governs most of your actions and choices is mirrored in the environment around you that you face daily. Many of us slipped into a certain channel early in life. We then simply become a copy machine that churn out the same old attitude and outcomes in the patterns that we live daily. Very few of us make regular attitude adjustment and modify the perceptions that form the main pillars that we built our lives on. We make the same old mistakes and act in the same manner without stopping for a moment to question the validity of our actions and choices. Our attitude towards life in general and our attitude towards our children, friends, politics, race etc. remain the same. The same responds patterns jump into action when triggered. The most effective way to get from where you are to where you want to be is to adjust your attitude. New software must be downloaded into our subconscious minds. What I find amazing is the reluctance we often display when it comes to the modification of mindsets that no longer serve their purpose. We must reinvent ourselves on a daily basis. We cannot desperately hang onto stuff that is busy poisoning our soul. This message might be the best news you received in decades. The reminder that you as an intelligent human being can reinvent yourself, your relationship, career or anything else whenever you want to must be phenomenal news to you. We often fear change, but look around you and you will notice that growth is not possible without change. They say that you need to reserve a place at the funny farm if you believe that you can repeat the same old behaviour and achieve a different outcome.

Rene

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Posted by on February 21, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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The slaves of this system breed the future slaves when they produce children that will take over from them when they are used up.

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There is a saying that ignorance is bliss. This might be true for some, but it is as far as I am concerned the root cause of most of our suffering, pain and anxiety. Accepting life, people, religion, politics, perceptions, choices, rules and laws at face value imprisoned the mind of mankind. Looking at anything in life from a single perspective is the lazy way out. Seeing and experiencing from a limited range of perspectives have shackled man almost since its inception. Primitive man could not read, write or decipher the range of threats that confronted them and were forced to turn to priests and other individuals for guidance. This disposition provided a wonderful opportunity for those that claimed that they understood to take over control of their followers minds. The initial flimsy net that these opportunists wove gradually grew stronger and more sophisticated.

You will later see how this initial ignorance created an ideal vehicle of enslavement for those in control. Mankind have been kept in a state of ignorance since the beginning of time by greedy power hungry individuals, groups and organizations. Primitive methods of pain, pleasure and hope were used to restrain the masses. Man experienced fleeting moments of pleasure while they blindly obeyed the “commands” of these controllers. Thousands of written laws, spiritual and otherwise came into being over the years. Those that remained subdued and subservient were praised and rewarded while anyone that questioned anything faced the intricate range of pain that these controllers could bring to bear on them. They were cruelly tortured in the dark ages when they questioned anything to do with religion or the state. 

Mankind became the slaves of the controllers. They were carefully manipulated to let go of a fair percentage of their hard earned income. The state took their pound of flesh while the religious leaders demanded at least ten percent of all income earned as well. The system sucked in mankind to such an extent that only a handful of individuals over the years showed the courage to point out the deadly trap that we find ourselves in up to today. Do you grasp that the slaves of this system not only police the deadly system on behalf of the controllers, but breed the future slaves that will take over from them when they produce children? I can write a fairly substantial book on this subject matter, but believe that you can see what I am addressing in this document.

My plea is that everyone make it his or her business to get rid of the veil of ignorance that is responsible for most of their anxiety, pain and lack. You might have noticed that I post a very wide range of perceptions daily on an endless range of subjects. My motivation is that I want you to look at stuff from many different perspectives. Nothing is as it seems. I will continue to write on the endless range of methods used to keep us ignorant if I get a fairly acceptable responds on this post.

Rene

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Posted by on February 19, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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The biggest reason you don’t have the life you are focused on. You are focused on what you aren’t getting.

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The biggest reason you don’t have the life you want is because you are focused on what you aren’t getting. You see only your lack of luck.

 

Successful people live life as they desire because they focus on what they are getting. These people see all their options, and when they receive the benefits from wisely acting on the options, everyone else calls them lucky.

 

It was Machiavelli who told us that success is 50% luck, and the rest is how we respond to that luck through cunning and bravura.

 

Personally I believe that life is only 10% what happens to me and 90% how I respond to it, but this goes way beyond seeing the glass half empty or half full. This is the difference between seeing the glass or dying of thirst.

 

Most people hold the belief that some are just born lucky and others are not. They believe somehow that “fate” decides the lucky.

 

The most interesting thing to me about the concept of luck is that the world’s biggest experts on the subject seem to be the ones who do not have it. The day I came to this realization was the day I realized the concept of luck was flawed.

 

Think of it like this. What if the biggest experts on financial investing were all bankrupt and the people with the most money had no idea how they did it? It would tell you that something else is going on that no one is seeing. This is how it is with luck.

 

Ask a lucky person why they are so lucky and the most popular answers will be either that they don’t know or that it’s because they expect good things to happen to them. The flaw in the logic of the second statement is simple. If you had been unusually lucky your entire life, would you not also start to expect it?

 

Ask a person who considers themselves unlucky about luck and expect everything from an emotional rant to a lengthy pseudo-scientific explanation based on something completely irrelevant like the day they were born on.

 

They will include that the “fact” (as they see it) that because their luck has been so bad for so long, it means that their luck has to be about to change for the better. Ask them about a person who is lucky and they will tell you that because they have been so lucky for so long, they should be careful because their luck is about to run out. None of this is necessarily true. I have known people who spend their entire lives falling on their face and I have known people who always land on their feet, no matter what happens. The key to what I am about to show you is in the last part of that sentence, “…no matter what happens.” This has nothing to do with luck. It’s pure science.

 

There was a very interesting study done on luck by Richard Wiseman, a psychologist at the University of Hertfordshire. He gave a newspaper to both a group of “lucky” and a group of “unlucky” people. Both groups were asked to look through the newspaper and tell him how many photographs it contained. On average, the unlucky people took about two minutes to count the photographs, whereas the lucky people took just seconds.

 

Why? Because the second page of the newspaper contained the message: “Stop counting. There are 43 photographs in this newspaper.” This message took up half of the page and was written in type that was more than 2 inches high. It was staring everyone straight in the face, but the unlucky people tended to miss it and the lucky people tended to spot it followed by adjusting their actions based on what they found.

 

It’s not about luck. It’s about keeping your eyes open.

 

I am the type of person who is considered lucky. I learned how to be lucky. I interact with as many people as possible to create as many opportunities as I can for myself. I separate from the negative and pursue the positive in very creative ways. I know when to hold on to value that others don’t see and when to let go for something better that I usually find hiding right in front of my face. It’s not that I have better luck than other people; it’s that I can see things that others can’t.

By Drawk Kwast, Creator of The Alpha Male Lifestyle

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Posted by on February 19, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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The separation that splintered mankind like a broken mirror. Lie drenched programmes downloaded into our heads since early childhood.

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The “knowledge” (data) programmed in your head become your launching platform and evaluation system that you use in all areas of your life. The truth that is stored in your soul has been suppressed by the many layers of “knowledge” that you so liberally uploaded via the “programmers” (parents, teachers, priests, etc.) that played a role in your life since your arrival on this plane. Discomfort is caused by the conflicting data stored in your soul and the lies and speculations of those that lay the foundation that you “think” with. Your soul is still connected to your perfect self and the wisdom of the God force.

 

It becomes more and more isolated with the layers of predominant lies and defective laws that continue flooding your mental storing devise. You could clearly hear and feel the energy and love transmitted to you via your soul early after your arrival on this plane, but the transmissions became fainter and fainter as time slipped by. Soon all you were aware of was this booming voice in your head that command and direct everything you do or say. The voice in your head totally drowned out the truth and feelings of joy and union that you experienced earlier. You became like a machine and took on a personality that allowed you to merge with society. There is no need to defend the truth stored in your soul. You are however forced to continually defend the lies and warped perceptions that your programmers downloaded in your head.

 

The reason for this is that each soul is exposed to his/her own set of programmers soon after arrival. They have different perceptions and agendas on many aspects of life. They may for example believe in a different God or a different political party. Their “truths” on everything, including their God perception is downloaded into the sub-conscious computer of the newly arrived soul and will in turn become the voice that they hear in their heads. This is where conflict and misunderstandings come from. Individuals believe that the voice in their heads will never lie to them, but forget that the voice in their heads can only repeat the garbage and lies that is stored in its archives. Each person thus moves around with his own unique perceptions, ideas and philosophies. This is the main reason why we have so much conflict in this dimension. Individuals attempt to force their own take of things onto their partners, friends or anyone that they come in contact with.

 

The same happen to groups (churches and political parties) as well as nations. This is how wars are started and also the main reason why many millions died in the religious and political wars fought historically and currently. Individuals and groups feel so convinced about their version of the “truth” that they are prepared to kill and maim in their perception’s name. What we fail to grasp is that we actually have two software programmes that declare war on each other. We have groups that support a specific version of “truth” that will stop at nothing to enforce their ideologies on others. The collective downloaded ideologies and perceptions polarize individuals, groups and nations. I cringe when I think of the huge volumes of blood spilled and the pain inflicted on many millions over the years because of the inability of mankind to grasp that they are from the same source and one with the Creator of this universe. The separation that splintered mankind like a broken mirror is the defective, deceitful lie drenched programmes downloaded into the heads of those that will later become cannon fodder for the political and religious aspirations of those in power

 Rene

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Posted by on February 12, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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The frustration and anger often experienced in relationships can be traced back to a lack of courage.

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There is a misconception that courageous people fight lions or crocodiles with their bare hands, jump out of aeroplanes or over cliffs or play with snakes that could kill them in seconds. It often takes more courage to say something that need to be said than any of the above. A person that lacks courage feel that he/she is up against a solid brick wall when important things need to be expressed that could impact on their relationship.

 

What such individuals fail to understand is that their lack of courage is creating a void between them and their man/woman. The lack of courage create separation that could in time topple their relationship. The frustration and anger often experienced in relationships can be traced back to a lack of courage. Things become extremely complicated when one of the partners suffer with a lack of courage, but things get worse when both parties lack courage expect their partner to do mind reading.

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Direct and fearless communication bring people together and remove the stuff that partners often just speculate about. It is healthy to express negative and positive emotions. There is nothing wrong when you express your anger or frustration as long as it is done in a mature manner. Your partner then get the opportunity to see what is really bothering you and can attempt to rectify possible misunderstandings.

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The courage to say how you feel about your partner when it comes to love is vital. It is silly to expect your partner to guess or decode that you love him/her if they carefully study your actions. Be brave and tell it like it is. When you love stop hinting and stop leaving it to your partner to solve the puzzle. You might think that you are mystical when you do this, but I can tell you that it is a dangerous game that you are playing. Your man/woman might run into someone that don’t lack courage that can express him/herself in a clear and precise manner when it comes to love. To summarize we need to remember that communication reduce distance while the lack of courage in turn create massive voids. Why spend so many hours bridge building when you can bridge the gap in moments when you tell it like it is?

Rene

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http://www.mingeford365.co.uk/Chambers.html

http://aloysiusmenulis.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/gladiator-vs-lion.jpg

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Posted by on February 10, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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Men were now expected to wear their emotions on their sleeves

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datingguide

Men have always been expected to be strong and staid. Men were expected to be reserved and contemplative when calm, yet strong and capable when pushed too far. Then came the late ’60s and second-wave feminism. With women gaining equality in the workplace, the bedroom and society in general, gender borders began to erode at an alarming rate. Men were now expected to wear their emotions on their sleeves — or so was the stated opinion of women.

While women may say they want raw emotion, the truth, as is the case in so many circumstances, is that they don’t really know what they want. Believe us, no woman really wants to see you cry. Today, navigating which emotions men are supposed to express when can be rather confusing. The Emo-meter rating, measured on a scale of 0 (for never) to 5 (for frequent), lets men know when, if ever, they should really emote around women. Learn to control your emotions with the dating tips below.

 

Fear

 

While there is nothing to fear but fear itself, showing any amount of fear around women will prove disastrous unless you can really control your emotions. For all their claims about sensitive men, women still want to feel protected. Women still want you to kill those spiders and protect them on darkened streets, and your girlfriend doesn’t want you to cower behind her while she squishes the evil bug. Showing fear in a girly, unnecessary way is unacceptable, while referencing a personal fear that you’ve managed to overcome shows robust courage and self-control.

Emo-meter rating: 1

 

Jealousy

 

Women will state over and over again that they hate it when their men are jealous. While this is her official line, try letting her go out with her male friends without so much as an ounce of jealousy. When she gets back from this platonic meeting, you’ll be getting the cold shoulder. Even if you’re confident in yourself and know that this other guy isn’t a threat, she expects you to exert at least a little consternation over this type of meeting. So, while you need to control your emotions, she also wants to know you still cherish her and can control your jealousy. There’s no quicker way to do that than to show a little concern that you may in fact lose her.

Emo-meter rating: 2

 

Anger

 

There are few emotions more tied up with passion than anger. As such, women will want you, from time to time, to get angry. Lack of anger and lack of passion tell women that you are apathetic about certain aspects of your life. No matter what those aspects are, she’ll make the leap that you are apathetic toward your relationship, which is not the kind of control you want to have over your emotions. Of course, the anger expressed, even though it is vital to the health of the relationship, will need to be directed outward and never at her. Make sure that the target actually deserves the wrath, as unleashing anger on a cashier who shortchanged you comes off as petty and just isn’t the right way to control your emotions.

 

Affection

 

Affection is a context-specific tightrope men must walk. Using affection, an almost universally positive emotion, equally in all circumstances will net any man an irritated woman. Women want you to be affectionate, but as much as they love affection, they tend to prefer you play down the public displays of affection (PDAs). PDAs have a tendency to undermine a woman’s feeling of independence, so try not to step on her toes and control your emotions. Holding hands in public, a light kiss or walking arm in arm are all perfect public expressions of affection. Save the true affection for when you’re behind a veil of privacy.

Emo-meter rating: 2 in public, 4 in private.

 

Sadness

 

Feeling sad is a very vulnerable emotional state to be in, for anyone. Traditionally, men haven’t really expressed sadness outside the context of moderate to heavy drinking. Tears weren’t allowed to come out, but liquor went in — and it was never done in front of a woman. That was the understanding a man had with this most troubling emotion. Today, women want to know that a man feels sad on occasion. If he doesn’t, women may begin to question his connection with reality, which can be quite depressing. Modern men need to learn to control their emotions and show that they are sad every once in a while, and do so in the company of women. Choose the time and place wisely as the expression of sadness should only be shown under the gravest of circumstances. The death of a loved one, for example, would be appropriate — the love scene in Titanic would not.

Emo-meter rating:
 1

 

EMOTIONAL GUIDANCE

 

Contrary to popular belief, men have always had emotions, and these emotions have always been expressed. The company and context of such expression has changed, as in the past this largely took place behind closed doors and was, by and large, a solitary experience. Today, the expression has changed to accommodate what women think they want when it comes to the way men feel. This by no means gives us license to go overboard in expressing our emotions, however; as men, we must remember to exercise control in emotional circumstances in order to save ourselves from being labelled weak or unmanly.

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http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_200/222_dating_advice.html

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PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS IF YOU ARE ENJOYING THE READING ROOM – THANKING YOU IN ADVANCE!

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Posted by on February 7, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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Mother Nature deposits her gifts on everyone regardless of their status, race or career

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THE RAINBOW

My mood was cold, dark, and directionless. My tortured mind was filled with thoughts of missed opportunities and broken promises.

 

The cutting wind on my unshaven face made my eyes water and drove the dark clouds of depression into my shattered soul.

 

The years slipped by like fleeting dreams. Moments of joy and victory came and vanished like the waves of the ocean bashed on the black rocks of sadness.

 

I looked up and noticed the sheets of rain that endlessly poured its gift of life and growth in all directions.

 

A thought darted into my tired defeated mind. I suddenly noticed how nature shares her abundance with everyone and everything.

 

Mother Nature is not selective when she sends gifts of rain and sunshine to feed, nourish and rejuvenate everything with a smattering of life at their core.

 

These gifts of life are given to the seeds that are still sleeping in the soil. The dark scorched earth will soon put on a new coat of colour and in turn pass on these gifts of life to the bees, birds and everything else that waited patiently on Mother Nature to return as she has done since the beginning of time.

 

I suddenly understood that it is mankind’s inability to give unconditionally that is responsible for the inequality that drips off this planet like black wax from a candle.

 

Our homes are filled to the brim with stuff, but we want more, better, faster and the latest. Something inside us drives us like a hungry pack of wolves forward in our quest to feed our greedy ego.

 

There is no time for compassion in our busy lives. Poverty stares at us on every corner, but we are so obsessed with our own little world that we never notice that cold and hungry child on the corner of the street or a mother that worked her hands to the bone to serve us where we sit in our artificial castles sipping our wine of success.

 

The clouds of gloominess gradually lifted from my bowed shoulders. I knew what Mother Nature came to teach me in this dark night of my soul. She came to teach me about compassion and gratitude. She showed me that I must learn to give unconditionally and abundantly if I want to make a contribution to life on this planet.

 

I noticed that the sun began to break through the clouds announcing that the rain moved on to go and do some more teaching down the road. A rainbow suddenly appeared on the horizon. I slowly got up, wiped the water from my face, pushed back my shoulders with new hope in my heart against the backdrop of the singing of the birds that were thanking Mother Nature in advance for the new gifts that she will bring the next time she pays us a visit. She will like before pour her gifts on the rich and the poor, on those that have in abundance and those that have virtually nothing. She deposits her gifts on everyone regardless of their status, race or career and knows that a time will come when mankind has evolved enough to grasp that we are one and an extension of her.

Rene

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Posted by on February 3, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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Book review – Societal Implications of Our Herding Culture.

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The-wise-horse-finally-opens-up

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Posted by on February 3, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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You are not a garbage truck that are contracted to remove everybody’s garbage (problems).

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couragemark

Assist people to achieve what they really desire if you want to make friends for life, become awfully rich or become very popular. Our expectation and hope drives us forward and helps us to overcome serious setbacks.

 

Attempt to make the right and best choice on a moment-to-moment basis. If you are going to wait for the perfect moment or until you have all the data, you might never make up your mind. Remember that your in-basket will still be full even on the day you die.

 

Attitude plays a vital role in everything you do. A poor attitude can never produce good results. A poor attitude is at the root of most failures. A poor attitude caused more marriages to fail and relationships to break down than all the other reasons put together.

 

Avoid head on confrontations or disputes if you can. There are usually no winners in such ego driven fights. The urge to win is sometimes so strong that it clouds our mind and judgment. An obsession by both parties to win usually lead to a major loss for at least one of the parties.

 

Avoid people that have the tendency to make their problem yours. By appearing helpless or lost, they con you into taking ownership of their problems. You are not a garbage truck that are contracted to remove everybody’s garbage (problems).

 

Avoid people that promise you the world, but do little. When you rely on an “empty promise” person, he will cause you endless problems. Good advice is to do things yourself if you want to make sure that they are taken care of.

 

Avoid saying things that could make people feel idiotic or inferior. It might give you a short-term ego boost, but in the long run, you will create an army of enemies that would love to even the score.

 

Avoid the misconception that people want to hear what is right and just. They want to be fed what they feel suits their current purpose. Give people what they want and you will be richly rewarded. When you help people to achieve their own objectives, they are usually more susceptible to yours.

 

Balance and decency is in during periods of success. When instant gratification becomes our main objective, we rapidly slide into the abyss of failure and discomfort. The wise man mastered the art of projecting himself into others’ shoes. When you act in a fair and responsible manner you enhance your chances of success many fold.

 

Be careful and remain grounded when you are faced with obsessive driven individuals. These individuals tend to exaggerate and amplify things in an attempt to buy your support. Certain politicians, clergy and conmen are experts at the art of mass hypnosis. When you are in the presence of passion driven individuals you need to question, probe and take nothing for granted. If you do you will do it at your peril.

Rene

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Posted by on January 31, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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Why have we been domesticated like pets into to believing that we our history?

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couragewillpower

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You have free will and make an endless number of choices daily. You can choose to accept “what is” and manage “what is” to the best of our ability or you can choose to ignore “what is” and base your actions and reactions on illusions, nonsense and outdated perceptions. Illusions and false perceptions can make our days depressing and unproductive. We suffer and experience pain and rejection because we base most of our actions and reactions on data that is not valid or accurate. We became trapped in deadly repetitive daily cycles. Very few of us take the time to stop for a moment and ask ourselves why we are persisting with our self-sabotaging behaviour. We forget that we are acting on our stage of life to learn and experience. We are not the actor. We are and will remain a spiritual being even while we are “in character” on our stage. One of the biggest travesties done to us during our childhood was when they convince us that we are the actor on our stage. We are as I indicated earlier just a student at Earth School. Actors remove their make-up and go home when the show is over. Why have we been domesticated like a pet to believe that we our history? This social control system warped our perception about our self-worth and stopped many of us to “move on” after we learned our lessons and experienced what we desired.

 Rene

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Actors remove their make-up and go home when the show is over. Why have we been domesticated like a pet to believe that we our history? 

 Rene

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bird

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Posted by on January 25, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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Your parents/teachers/leaders/culture/friends/family have all had a hand in creating exactly the set of beliefs you use to operate in your world.

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Think about your life for a moment. Are you exactly where you want to be? Are you doing work that you love? Are you free to travel when and where you wish? Are your relationships fulfilling? Are you financially free or are you tied to a job you hate?

 

Now answer this question for me: Do you want to know exactly why you are not living a life of ease, comfort, and happiness? Yes, of course you do. Pay close attention:

 

“The only reason you are not living the life of your dreams is because unconstructive beliefs were programmed into your mind as a child.”

 

Let me say it in a way that might be easier to understand: “The only reason you don’t have enough money is because you still believe the bullshit they taught you as a kid.”

 

That’s it… When you were young, you learned certain “facts” about life that became a part of your subconscious operating system. This system now automatically creates the life you are living. If you are not living exactly the life that you desire, then these beliefs need to be changed… it’s as simple as that.

 

Do you realize that you have been brainwashed?

 

Most people don’t want to hear this “inconvenient truth.” But most people are also living hopeless lives of quiet desperation. Not that there’s anything wrong with that… but I know that you are not like that. I doubt you would still be reading if you didn’t realize that you are capable of much, much more.

 

In fact, you HAVE been brainwashed. Of course, we are all brainwashed. Every single person on the planet is brainwashed with a certain set of beliefs which automatically operates his or her life.

 

Your parents, your teachers, your leaders, your culture, and your friends and family have all had a hand in creating exactly the set of beliefs you use to operate in your world.

 

Is this bad? Only if the beliefs you accepted as a child are not helping you now. Of course, if you are happy, healthy and successful then you have a subconscious operating system that works. Count your blessings and enjoy your life.

 

However, if there is some area of your life which you would like to change, then it is vital that you learn how to.

 

Let’s go back to the beginning. The REAL reason you don’t have enough money is because you believe something you learned as a child which is keeping you from having enough money. Perhaps your father told you that rich people are crooks. Well, of course you don’t want to be considered a crook in your father’s eyes, so you will never be rich. Your subconscious programming will make sure that you are never able to make money.

 

Or perhaps your parents always fought about money. What did your young mind learn? You learned that money causes trouble. You don’t want trouble, so you avoid money.

 

Or maybe you are spiritually inclined. But you were probably taught that “money is the root of all evil.” And you don’t want to be evil, do you? So what happens in your inner programming? It will automatically sabotage your attempts to get money, in order to “protect” you from being evil.

By Ilya Alexi, Author of Mind Over Money: How to Program Your Mind for Wealth

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Posted by on January 24, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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Look around you today and see how man has been reduced to entities that live in tiny boxes.

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a story behind each window

    

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You should by now understand that each one of us has a unique RESISTANCE bubble or energy field that encase us like a glove. Many of us live and die within the perimeters of our RESISTANCE zone. The biggest percentage of us is so dedicated to maintain our zone of RESISTANCE that we hardly ever venture outside its perimeters. We sometimes during moments of courage pull up the heavy draw bridge of our fortress of RESISTANCE and venture into the unknown. Our visits to the unknown zone are usually fleeting. We rush back to the safety of our walls the moment we run into anyone that criticise, question or confront us with stuff that fail to match the blueprints in our perception archive. There comes a time when we feel that we must find a partner. We are then forced to venture out of our fortress. We begin our search for a suitable partner by matching the potential partner’s RESISTANCE against our own. We do our best to avoid bringing in a partner that might cause us discomfort. We reason that it will be very beneficial if we select a partner that closely matches the frequency of our own RESISTANCE level. That is why a partner with the same religious, political or race perceptions etc. is selected. We also know that there will be a gradual merging of the RESISTANCE levels of the partners. We try our level best to find a partner that will preferably enhance our own convictions and strengthen our RESISTANCE objectives. Our fear of the unknown immediately limits the number of potential partners that we have to choose from. When we find someone that we think will be a suitable partner we propose marriage. We then go through the prescribed rituals and gradually become a collective cluster of RESISTANCE. We then when appropriate procreate and begin to produce children. The children arrive in this dimension with no perceptions and no fears. They are free mentally. They are little spiritual bundles of joy that love unconditionally. Both partners soon realise that it is imperative that this new arrival are domesticated and taught how to become an acceptable member of the society that they live in. Can you see how the process of enslavement happened to you as well? This is how the never ending cycle of entrapment is sustained.

 

Look around you today and see how man has been reduced to entities that live in tiny boxes. Look at the endless rows of dwellings that go on for as far as the eye can see. Inside each of the dwellings (boxes) are living beings with hopes and dreams that are more often than not too afraid to attempt anything that might rock the boat or cause discomfort. We vigorously RESIST anything or anyone that dare to trespass into our space. We create the impression that we are happy and successful from behind our picket or barbed wired security fences. I will continue with this series tomorrow.

Rene

  

  

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Posted by on January 19, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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ONLY WHEN YOU HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THE CONTROL/SILLY GAMES WILL YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THIS BOOK IS ALL ABOUT!

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ONLY WHEN YOU HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THE CONTROL AND SILLY GAMES WILL YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THIS BOOK IS ALL ABOUT!

The mechanical matrix of post modern consumer society, built by ordinary men and women, is a reality that is indeed a snare, serving only to isolate its inhabitants from a truer, wider, and richer interpretation in which all things are interwoven and cooperative. The matrix we live in, and which we uphold with each and every one of our thoughts (though as we shall see, these thoughts are not our own), is a world built blindly, through fear and rationality, a prison pervaded by misery, hostility, confusion, resentment, and despair. It ain’t no playground. And if it’s a game, then it’s one which few of us ever get to enjoy playing, perhaps because no one ever told us the rules.

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DOWNLOAD LINK:

 EN MATRIX WARRIOR: BEING THE ONE (complete book) 4.2 MB

Contents:

COVER
FOREWORD: “NOT JUST A MOVIE, IT’S AN EXPERIENCE !”
FIRST VARIABLE: LIVING IN A DREAM WORLD
I. REALITY AS A SNARE: POSTMODERNIST TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY FRAGMENTATION
II. WE ARE NOT AMUSED: RULES FOR BEGINNERS
III. THE SEVEN DEADLY VIRTUES: PRIMARY MOTIVATING FACTORS FOR PLUGGED-IN HUMANS
IV. AUTOMATONS ‘R’ US
SECOND VARIABLE: THERE IS NO SPOON
V. HOLOGRAM ETHICS: REALITY AS GAME-PLAN
VI. RULES OF EMPOWERMENT: DIY UNPLUGGING
VII. SINS AGAINST THE STATE: EIGHT CARDINAL VIRTUES OF THE MATRIX WARRIOR
VIII. THE VALE OF SOUL-MAKING: UNDERSTANDING THE MATRIX
THIRD VARIABLE: YOU THINK THAT’S AIR YOU’RE BREATHING ?
IX. DO YOU BELIEVE IN FATE ? THE SORCERER’S WILL TO FREEDOM
X. LIFE IN THE MATRIX: APPROPRIATE RESPONSES TO ILLUSORY STIMULI
XI. YOU ARE NOT YOU: LIFE AS SIMULACRA
FOURTH VARIABLE: WALKING THE PATH
XII. THE LUCID’S VIEW SEX (THE WOMAN IN THE RED DRESS)
FIFTH VARIABLE: THE DESERT OF THE REAL
XIII. ARMAGEDDON OUTTA HERE: THE GREAT UNPLUGGING
XIV. THE SOUND OF INEVITABILITY: PLANNING AROUND THE APOCALYPSE
XV. THE NIGHTMARE OF HISTORY: INFORMATION AGE AND ESCHATON
SIXTH VARIABLE: MY NAME IS NEO !
XVI. LUCIDITY IS DESTINY: THE DOUBLE LIFE OF THE MATRIX SORCERER
XVII. READING THE CODE: EVERYTHING IS ENERGY
XVIII. BECOMING GOD: LIFE BEYOND THE MATRIX
AFTERWORD: SO YOU STILL SAY IT’S ONLY A MOVIE ?
APPENDIX ONE: PHILIP K. DICK’S DIVINE
APPENDIX TWO: CARLOS CASTANEDA: MAY THE MYTH BE WITH YOU
APPENDIX THREE: THE COOPERATION OF ARCHETYPES
GLOSSARY

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Posted by on January 18, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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You can make a fresh start on a moment to moment basis.

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freshstartnow

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Most of us sooner or later discover that we have two forces that course through our veins. We automatically vacillate between the “upper” and “lower” limits of this force on a moment to moment basis. The UPPER end of the pole of this system is called the “ACTION” zone and the “LOWEST” end of this pole is characterized as the “NON-ACTION” zone. The feelings generated by thoughts, events or for that matter everything and everyone we encounter decides the quality of the output we intend using to deal with the matter at hand. The mistake we make is that many of us think that we are at the mercy of this so-called automatic reaction patterns that endlessly flood our minds and hearts daily. We jump with joy and run like the wind when good feelings are generated by the thought or event that we are confronted with (ACTION) or shut down and retreat into a dark place in our minds (NON-ACTION). What many of us never knew or understood is that there is no need to remain a victim of our historical conditioning or past mistakes. All that is real and valid is our current moment. We can if we decide to take control act in an appropriate and powerful manner notwithstanding the threat and feelings of doubt that we might be confronted with. You are part of a universal force that caters for evolution on a moment to moment basis. Call this force God my friend if it will make you feel more comfortable. This force is fair and allows every living thing in the universe to evolve, grow and expand notwithstanding his or her history. You can make a fresh start on a moment to moment basis. You are allocated 86400 new moments in any given day where you can make a fresh start. There is no need to fear failure or hide in the “NON-ACTION” zone. The NON-ACTION zone is a place where you become stagnant and RESIST risking the possibility of getting hurt or disappointed. The choices you make decide the quality of the outcomes you experience daily. Very few of us understand that not making a choice is actually also a choice that you make. You choose NON-ACTION and RESISTANCE and give up control.

 

Spend some time today to probe why you have this reluctance to take action. What is the cause of the resistance deep inside you that is preventing you from being the best you that you can ever be? Now make a list of all the things you will do if you knew that you cannot fail. Make a list of everything that comes to mind. Think it and then ink it. I will continue this series tomorrow.

 

Rene

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Posted by on January 12, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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We strut around with our bloated egos as if we know everything about everything.

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There might be some of the readers that were so busy getting upset about the flowery language used by Joe Rogan that they possibly missed the very powerful message he shared with his audience. We strut around with our bloated egos as if we know everything about everything. What we fail to understand is that we know virtually nothing other than a few basic perceptions downloaded by our parents very soon after we arrived on this plane. Many of us have a very sensitive emotional body that make us cringe, cry or go to war if anyone dare to oppose our point of view. We have superficial data on millions of stuff that is sitting there in our sub-conscious minds ready to spring to life when activated. This gives us a false sense of superiority. What we don’t know is that our knowledge depth barely put a layer on the surface of any subject matter. Look at our education system. Our system is under funded and understaffed. Our system makes it virtually impossible to fail. That is why you have huge numbers of students that finish school that can hardly read or write their name. We appoint individuals in serious leadership positions that are unqualified and know virtually nothing about leadership or accountability. We appoint people according to their skin colour and hope that they will sooner or later master the job. We force individuals into leadership positions in business because of skin colour and disadvantage that organisation in the competitive world we live in. We allow often lazy individuals that insist on high paying jobs with endless benefits to take over the workforce and still expect to compete in the global market. Don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against any race or tribe. I embrace anyone notwithstanding his mother tongue or skin colour that have a strong desire to learn, evolve and admit that he or she still have much to learn. We get brainwashed to stick to a few basic principles and perceptions or we will be toasted by God. We have a shower of uninterrupted advertising that is bombarding us mercilessly from the moment we open our eyes in the morning until we drop back into bed at night. We are producing children today that early in their life start running the show at home. They dictate what they will eat, wear and learn. Parents have been so entangled in guilt and laws that they can hardly demonstrate their insistence that certain things are out of bounds. We, the older generation should first admit that most of us suspended taking in new knowledge soon after we left school or university. We know little about most of the stuff that we see around us daily. Many slipped into a groove decades ago and still walk in circles while we hope that something mystical will happen that will bring some welcome change into our lives. Please listen to the clips again and you might notice that there is a powerful message blanketed by endless laughter. We might think it is funny when someone tells us that we are dumb, but sit for a few moments and think about it. You might agree that Joe Rogan is spot on with his message.

 Rene

 

 
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Posted by on January 11, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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