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Tag Archives: unhappiness

Thoughts are visitors, who visit the central station of the mind.

Information overload, conceptual image

.

Thinking is usually a mixture of words, sentences, mental images and sensations. Thoughts are visitors, who visit the central station of the mind. They come, stay a while and then disappear making space for other thoughts. Some of these thoughts stay longer, gain power and affect the life of the person thinking them.

It seems that most people let thoughts connected with worries, fears, anger or unhappiness occupy their mind most of the time. They keep engaging their mind with inner conversation about negative situations and actions. This inner conversation eventually affects the subconscious mind, making it accept and take seriously the thoughts and ideas expressed in those inner conversations.

It is of vital importance to be careful of what goes into the subconscious mind. Words and thoughts that are repeated often get stronger by the repetitions, sink into the subconscious mind and affect the behavior, actions and reactions of the person involved.

The subconscious mind regards the words and thoughts that get lodged inside it as expressing and describing a real situation, and therefore endeavors to align the words and thoughts with reality. It works diligently to make these words and thoughts a reality in the life of the person saying or thinking them.

This means that if you often tell yourself that it is difficult or impossible to acquire money, the subconscious mind will accept you words and put obstacles in your way. If you keep saying that you are rich, it will find ways to bring you opportunities and push you towards taking advantage of these opportunities.

The thoughts that you express through your words shape your life. This is often done unconsciously, as few pay attention to their thoughts and the words they use while thinking, and let outside circumstances and situations determine what they think about. In this case there is no freedom. Here the outside world affects the inner world.

If you consciously choose the thoughts, phrases and words that you repeat in your mind, your life will start to change. You will begin creating new situations and circumstances. You will be using the power of affirmations.

Affirmations are sentences that are repeated often during the day, and which sink into the subconscious mind, thereby releasing its enormous power to materialize the intention of the words and phrases in the outside world. This does not mean that every word has the power to make changes. The words have to be said with attention and with feeling, in order to trigger the subconscious mind into action.

Affirmations have to be phrased in positive words in order to be effective. Consider the following two sentences:

1. I am not weak anymore.

2. I am strong and powerful.

Though both sentences seem to say the same thing in different words, the first one is a negative sentence. It creates in the mind a mental image of weakness. This is a wrong wording. The second sentence awakens in the mind a mental image of strength.

It is not enough to say an affirmation a few times, and then expect your life to change. More than this is necessary. It is important to affirm with attention, as well as with strong desire, faith and persistence. It is also important to choose the right affirmation for any specific situation. You need to feel comfortable with it; otherwise the affirmation may not work or may bring you something that you do not want.

Affirmations can be used to strengthen the process of creative visualization, and they can be used on their own. They are of special importance for people who find it difficult to visualize. In this case they are a substitution to creative visualization.

Instead of repeating negative and useless words and phrases in the mind, you can choose positive words and phrases to help you build the life you want. By choosing your thoughts and words you exercise control over your life.

Here are a few affirmations:

*Day by day I am becoming happier and more satisfied.
*With every inhalation I am filling myself with happiness.
*Love is filling my life now.
*The power of the Cosmos is filling my life with love.
*A lot of money is flowing now into my life.
*The power of the Universal Mind is now filling my life with wealth.
*The powerful and vital energy of the Cosmos is flowing and filling my body and mind.
*Healing energy is constantly filling every cell of my body.
*I always stay calm and in control of myself, in every situation and in all circumstances.
*I am having a wonderful, happy and fascinating day.

.

By Remez Sasson,
Author of 
Visualize and Achieve

.

 
1 Comment

Posted by on January 19, 2015 in WISDOM

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

People who leave religion to seem to be the ones who tried hardest/invested most time into soul-searching.

.

 .

People who leave religion to seem to be the ones who tried hardest and who have invested those most time into soul-searching.

.

There are themes of intense searching, bible reading, efforts to conform and find the promises of their religion, only to fail time and again. Ironically, the intense searching, bible reading and attempts to understand led many to recognize there were many things they were not being told and much was hidden or poorly explained.

  • The more sexually restrictive a religion is the more it uses guilt.

  • Conservative religions teach guilt and proscribe many behaviors such as sex before marriage, masturbation, oral sex and sex outside of marriage, and use religious based approaches to sex education with emphasis on abstinence only, failing to teach about birth control, condom use and abortion.

  • Biology seems to trump religion despite the millions of dollars and hours devoted to teaching religious children how to behave within their

    religious restrictions. Other general studies of sexuality show that 95% all adults have had premarital sex by the time they marry including, we believe, most ministers who tout abstinence only.

  • The religious kids were learning from sexual experience more than the less religious!

  • Most religions preach incessantly against pornography, yet it is the religious

    children in this sample that used it more.

  • .

 

.

  • It appears that the things religions preach against most – sexual experimentation, pornography and the Internet – are what religious kids may use the most, while failing to talk to their parents.

  • Non-religious kids seem to be following the religious proscriptions better than the religious ones.

  • For the most religious, getting religion out of their lives seemed to make a huge difference in their sex life.

  • Those from the most guilt based religions would show the greatest drop in guilt and biggest increase in sexual satisfaction.

  • If porn is as bad as religions say it is, they aren’t doing a very good job of keeping it out of the hands of children and adolescents, 20% or more of both groups said they were using porn by 12 years old. For all the billboards and sermons against porn, there seems to be little return on the investment.

  • We were most interested in religion’s effect on porn use. If religion’s proscriptions are effective, we should see a clear difference between those who are most and least religious in the teen years when they are getting strong messages from their religion about sex. Looking only at men, we can see that there is very little difference between the groups. This suggests that the effect of religion is negligible for men.

 

.

READ MORE AT THE LINK BELOW

https://eagleman6788.wordpress.com/2013/12/09/book-review-is-sexual-unhappiness-a-religiously-transmitted-disease-2/

.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on October 15, 2014 in WISDOM

 

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The Miracle Power of Repeated Words and Thoughts.

Information overload, conceptual image

.

Thinking is usually a mixture of words, sentences, mental images and sensations. Thoughts are visitors, who visit the central station of the mind. They come, stay a while and then disappear making space for other thoughts. Some of these thoughts stay longer, gain power and affect the life of the person thinking them.

It seems that most people let thoughts connected with worries, fears, anger or unhappiness occupy their mind most of the time. They keep engaging their mind with inner conversation about negative situations and actions. This inner conversation eventually affects the subconscious mind, making it accept and take seriously the thoughts and ideas expressed in those inner conversations.

It is of vital importance to be careful of what goes into the subconscious mind. Words and thoughts that are repeated often get stronger by the repetitions, sink into the subconscious mind and affect the behavior, actions and reactions of the person involved.

The subconscious mind regards the words and thoughts that get lodged inside it as expressing and describing a real situation, and therefore endeavors to align the words and thoughts with reality. It works diligently to make these words and thoughts a reality in the life of the person saying or thinking them.

This means that if you often tell yourself that it is difficult or impossible to acquire money, the subconscious mind will accept you words and put obstacles in your way. If you keep saying that you are rich, it will find ways to bring you opportunities and push you towards taking advantage of these opportunities.

The thoughts that you express through your words shape your life. This is often done unconsciously, as few pay attention to their thoughts and the words they use while thinking, and let outside circumstances and situations determine what they think about. In this case there is no freedom. Here the outside world affects the inner world.

If you consciously choose the thoughts, phrases and words that you repeat in your mind, your life will start to change. You will begin creating new situations and circumstances. You will be using the power of affirmations.

Affirmations are sentences that are repeated often during the day, and which sink into the subconscious mind, thereby releasing its enormous power to materialize the intention of the words and phrases in the outside world. This does not mean that every word has the power to make changes. The words have to be said with attention and with feeling, in order to trigger the subconscious mind into action.

Affirmations have to be phrased in positive words in order to be effective. Consider the following two sentences:

1. I am not weak anymore.

2. I am strong and powerful.

Though both sentences seem to say the same thing in different words, the first one is a negative sentence. It creates in the mind a mental image of weakness. This is a wrong wording. The second sentence awakens in the mind a mental image of strength.

It is not enough to say an affirmation a few times, and then expect your life to change. More than this is necessary. It is important to affirm with attention, as well as with strong desire, faith and persistence. It is also important to choose the right affirmation for any specific situation. You need to feel comfortable with it; otherwise the affirmation may not work or may bring you something that you do not want.

Affirmations can be used to strengthen the process of creative visualization, and they can be used on their own. They are of special importance for people who find it difficult to visualize. In this case they are a substitution to creative visualization.

Instead of repeating negative and useless words and phrases in the mind, you can choose positive words and phrases to help you build the life you want. By choosing your thoughts and words you exercise control over your life.

Here are a few affirmations:

*Day by day I am becoming happier and more satisfied.
*With every inhalation I am filling myself with happiness.
*Love is filling my life now.
*The power of the Cosmos is filling my life with love.
*A lot of money is flowing now into my life.
*The power of the Universal Mind is now filling my life with wealth.
*The powerful and vital energy of the Cosmos is flowing and filling my body and mind.
*Healing energy is constantly filling every cell of my body.
*I always stay calm and in control of myself, in every situation and in all circumstances.
*I am having a wonderful, happy and fascinating day.

.

By Remez Sasson,
Author of 
Visualize and Achieve

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on May 7, 2014 in WISDOM

 

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Book Review – Is Sexual Unhappiness a Religiously Transmitted Disease?

People who leave religion to seem to be the ones who tried hardest and who have invested those most time into soul-searching.

.

There are themes of intense searching, bible reading, efforts to conform and find the promises of their religion, only to fail time and again. Ironically, the intense searching, bible reading and attempts to understand led many to recognize there were many things they were not being told and much was hidden or poorly explained.

  • The more sexually restrictive a religion is the more it uses guilt.

  • Conservative religions teach guilt and proscribe many behaviors such as sex before marriage, masturbation, oral sex and sex outside of marriage, and use religious based approaches to sex education with emphasis on abstinence only, failing to teach about birth control, condom use and abortion.

  • Biology seems to trump religion despite the millions of dollars and hours devoted to teaching religious children how to behave within their

    religious restrictions. Other general studies of sexuality show that 95% all adults have had premarital sex by the time they marry including, we believe, most ministers who tout abstinence only.

  • The religious kids were learning from sexual experience more than the less religious!

  • Most religions preach incessantly against pornography, yet it is the religious

    children in this sample that used it more.

 

  • It appears that the things religions preach against most – sexual experimentation, pornography and the Internet – are what religious kids may use the most, while failing to talk to their parents.

  • Non-religious kids seem to be following the religious proscriptions better than the religious ones.

  • For the most religious, getting religion out of their lives seemed to make a huge difference in their sex life.

  • Those from the most guilt based religions would show the greatest drop in guilt and biggest increase in sexual satisfaction.

  • If porn is as bad as religions say it is, they aren’t doing a very good job of keeping it out of the hands of children and adolescents, 20% or more of both groups said they were using porn by 12 years old. For all the billboards and sermons against porn, there seems to be little return on the investment.

  • We were most interested in religion’s effect on porn use. If religion’s proscriptions are effective, we should see a clear difference between those who are most and least religious in the teen years when they are getting strong messages from their religion about sex. Looking only at men, we can see that there is very little difference between the groups. This suggests that the effect of religion is negligible for men.

 

.

READ MORE AT THE LINK BELOW

https://eagleman6788.wordpress.com/2013/12/09/book-review-is-sexual-unhappiness-a-religiously-transmitted-disease-2/

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on March 7, 2014 in WISDOM

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Book Review – Is Sexual Unhappiness a Religiously Transmitted Disease?

People who leave religion to seem to be the ones who tried hardest and who have invested those most time into soul-searching.

There are themes of intense searching, bible reading, efforts to conform and find the promises of their religion, only to fail time and again. Ironically, the intense searching, bible reading and attempts to understand led many to recognize there were many things they were not being told and much was hidden or poorly explained.

  • The more sexually restrictive a religion is the more it uses guilt.

  • Conservative religions teach guilt and proscribe many behaviors such as sex before marriage, masturbation, oral sex and sex outside of marriage, and use religious based approaches to sex education with emphasis on abstinence only, failing to teach about birth control, condom use and abortion.

  • Biology seems to trump religion despite the millions of dollars and hours devoted to teaching religious children how to behave within their

    religious restrictions. Other general studies of sexuality show that 95% all adults have had premarital sex by the time they marry including, we believe, most ministers who tout abstinence only.

  • The religious kids were learning from sexual experience more than the less religious!

  • Most religions preach incessantly against pornography, yet it is the religious

    children in this sample that used it more.

 

  • It appears that the things religions preach against most – sexual experimentation,pornography and the internet – are what religious kids may use the most, while failing to talk to their parents.

  • Non-religious kids seem to be following the religious proscriptions better than the religious ones.

  • For the most religious, getting religion out of their lives seemed to make a huge difference in their sex life.

  • Those from the most guilt based religions would show the greatest drop in guilt and biggest increase in sexual satisfaction.

  • If porn is as bad as religions say it is, they aren’t doing a very good job of keeping it out of the hands of children and adolescents, 20% or more of both groups said they were using porn by 12 years old. For all the billboards and sermons against porn, there seems to be little return on the investment.

  • We were most interested in religion’s effect on porn use. If religion’s

    proscriptions are effective, we should see a clear difference between those who are most and least religious in the teen years when they are getting strong messages from their religion about sex. Looking only at men, we can see that there is very little difference between the groups. This suggests that the effect of religion is negligible for men.

 

  •  The moral of this story, if you want a good sex life, don’t get  involved with a highlyreligious person. Many in our sample seem to have taken that path. Of those that do have highly religious spouses, the majority have sexual problems in the relationship. 

  • The main benefit that people  express is the ability to just enjoy sex without guilt.

    Over and over people said, they are much happier and fulfilled not only in their sex life,but in the rest of their life as well since leaving religion.

  •  Guilt messages have remarkably little measurable effect on actual behavior. As in other surveys, our results show that religion has a slight effect in delaying the onset of sexual activity.

  • Religious parents are perceived to be poorer at sex education compared to less religious parents, though neither are particularly good at it.

  • Religion simply ignores biology and creates psychological states that interfere

    with appropriate sexual expression and development. Teaching guilt and shame around things that are perfectly natural. Religion impacts how people see their bodies and express their sexuality whether gay, lesbian or straight. Religions have nothing to say about our biology. They are in large measure clueless about hormones, braindevelopment, attraction factors, body image formation and many other things.

  • If parents and schools spent as much time teaching kids about safe and enjoyable sex as they do teaching about safe driving, there would be fewer

    unwanted pregnancies, less disease, fewer abortions and far less guilt and shame that lead people to make poor decisions about partners and behavior.

  • Eliminate guilt and shame around sex, and religions have very little to work with.

  • Religions cannot claim that their ideas and principles actually impact

    behavior or make people happier.

  • We can also see that religion creates guilt and shame around the most basic sexualact, masturbation, but has no effect on its practice. 

  • Condemning children for masturbating, telling them they will go to hell or suffer in thislife for doing it, is child abuse pure and simple.

  • Religion uses sex for purposes of propagation not the happiness of its adherents.

  • There is ample evidence in this survey, that one of the best things one can do to

    improve your sex life is leave religion, especially if you were in a conservative religion.

  • We have seen that stigmas, shame and guilt do not work in preventing or stopping behavior, but they do make people feel sexually miserable.

  • 95% of Americans have sex before marriage. Your minister probably had sex beforemarriage but he tells you not to. Protect yourself, use a condom.

  • Adolescents and young adults are in a critical time trying to

    establish their sexual identity. Religion intentionally plays upon the doubts and fears of youth to infect them with medieval ideas of sexuality.

.

Read more at the link below

SOURCE

 

Society, the church, your parents and an endless number of other programmers dictated which paths are acceptable. You were trained like a dog to experience guilt and fear of loss when you made perceived mistakes according to the dogma of that specific group or person.

Rene

 
2 Comments

Posted by on December 9, 2013 in 21 AND OLDER, WISDOM

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Book Review – Is Sexual Unhappiness a Religiously Transmitted Disease?

People who leave religion to seem to be the ones who tried hardest and who have invested those most time into soul-searching.

There are themes of intense searching, bible reading, efforts to conform and find the promises of their religion, only to fail time and again. Ironically, the intense searching, bible reading and attempts to understand led many to recognize there were many things they were not being told and much was hidden or poorly explained.

  • The more sexually restrictive a religion is the more it uses guilt.

  • Conservative religions teach guilt and proscribe many behaviors such as sex before marriage, masturbation, oral sex and sex outside of marriage, and use religious based approaches to sex education with emphasis on abstinence only, failing to teach about birth control, condom use and abortion.

  • Biology seems to trump religion despite the millions of dollars and hours devoted to teaching religious children how to behave within their

    religious restrictions. Other general studies of sexuality show that 95% all adults have had premarital sex by the time they marry including, we believe, most ministers who tout abstinence only.

  • The religious kids were learning from sexual experience more than the less religious!

  • Most religions preach incessantly against pornography, yet it is the religious

    children in this sample that used it more.

 

  • It appears that the things religions preach against most – sexual experimentation,pornography and the internet – are what religious kids may use the most, while failing to talk to their parents.

  • Non-religious kids seem to be following the religious proscriptions better than the religious ones.

  • For the most religious, getting religion out of their lives seemed to make a huge difference in their sex life.

  • Those from the most guilt based religions would show the greatest drop in guilt and biggest increase in sexual satisfaction.

  • If porn is as bad as religions say it is, they aren’t doing a very good job of keeping it out of the hands of children and adolescents, 20% or more of both groups said they were using porn by 12 years old. For all the billboards and sermons against porn, there seems to be little return on the investment.

  • We were most interested in religion’s effect on porn use. If religion’s

    proscriptions are effective, we should see a clear difference between those who are most and least religious in the teen years when they are getting strong messages from their religion about sex. Looking only at men, we can see that there is very little difference between the groups. This suggests that the effect of religion is negligible for men.

 

  •  The moral of this story, if you want a good sex life, don’t get  involved with a highlyreligious person. Many in our sample seem to have taken that path. Of those that do have highly religious spouses, the majority have sexual problems in the relationship. 

  • The main benefit that people  express is the ability to just enjoy sex without guilt.

    Over and over people said, they are much happier and fulfilled not only in their sex life,but in the rest of their life as well since leaving religion.

  •  Guilt messages have remarkably little measurable effect on actual behavior. As in other surveys, our results show that religion has a slight effect in delaying the onset of sexual activity.

  • Religious parents are perceived to be poorer at sex education compared to less religious parents, though neither are particularly good at it.

  • Religion simply ignores biology and creates psychological states that interfere

    with appropriate sexual expression and development. Teaching guilt and shame around things that are perfectly natural. Religion impacts how people see their bodies and express their sexuality whether gay, lesbian or straight. Religions have nothing to say about our biology. They are in large measure clueless about hormones, braindevelopment, attraction factors, body image formation and many other things.

  • If parents and schools spent as much time teaching kids about safe and enjoyable sex as they do teaching about safe driving, there would be fewer

    unwanted pregnancies, less disease, fewer abortions and far less guilt and shame that lead people to make poor decisions about partners and behavior.

  • Eliminate guilt and shame around sex, and religions have very little to work with.

  • Religions cannot claim that their ideas and principles actually impact

    behavior or make people happier.

  • We can also see that religion creates guilt and shame around the most basic sexualact, masturbation, but has no effect on its practice. 

  • Condemning children for masturbating, telling them they will go to hell or suffer in thislife for doing it, is child abuse pure and simple.

  • Religion uses sex for purposes of propagation not the happiness of its adherents.

  • There is ample evidence in this survey, that one of the best things one can do to

    improve your sex life is leave religion, especially if you were in a conservative religion.

  • We have seen that stigmas, shame and guilt do not work in preventing or stopping behavior, but they do make people feel sexually miserable.

  • 95% of Americans have sex before marriage. Your minister probably had sex beforemarriage but he tells you not to. Protect yourself, use a condom.

  • Adolescents and young adults are in a critical time trying to

    establish their sexual identity. Religion intentionally plays upon the doubts and fears of youth to infect them with medieval ideas of sexuality.

.

Read more at the link below

SOURCE

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on October 13, 2013 in WISDOM

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

When you RESIST you sustain and feed. When you LET GO you remove the POWER source that fuel your UNHAPPINESS.

Many of us live our lives on a “RESIST” mode. We allow ourselves to be pulled into an endless range of energy sapping mental and physical “FIGHTS” against hundreds of things, events, people and perceptions daily. 99% of our resistance can be traced to events (news, politics etc.) that we have no control over. When you RESIST you sustain and feed. When you LET GO you remove the POWER source that fuel your UNHAPPINESS.

Very people know that they are a POWERFUL MAGNET that is day and night ATTRACTING events, people, pain, pleasure, love, problems or solution into their SPACE. How you FEEL at any given moment indicates and reveals the QUALITY of the stuff you are currently ATTRACTING. Your FEELINGS are your barometer that displays the quality of your current THOUGHTS, ACTION and REACTIONS.

Rene

 
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Posted by on September 21, 2013 in WISDOM

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Your FEELINGS are your barometer that displays the quality of your current THOUGHTS, ACTION and REACTIONS.

 

Many of us live our lives on a “RESIST” mode. We allow ourselves to be pulled into an endless range of energy sapping mental and physical “FIGHTS” against hundreds of things, events, people and perceptions daily. 99% of our resistance can be traced to events (news, politics etc.) that we have no control over. When you RESIST you sustain and feed. When you LET GO you remove the POWER source that fuel your UNHAPPINESS.

 

Very people know that they are a POWERFUL MAGNET that is day and night ATTRACTING events, people, pain, pleasure, love, problems or solution into their SPACE. How you FEEL at any given moment indicates and reveals the QUALITY of the stuff you are currently ATTRACTING. Your FEELINGS are your barometer that displays the quality of your current THOUGHTS, ACTION and REACTIONS.

Rene

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on September 3, 2013 in WISDOM

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Book Review – Who are biggest promoters of relationship myths? – Women’s magazines

101 Relationship Myths

Women’s magazines are the world’s biggest promoters of relationship myths

One of the funniest and most entertaining things I know of (or tragic, depending on how you look at it) is reading the relationship advice in women’s magazines. Because most of them are based on truckloads of myths about relationships that really don’t have anything to do with reality. Try reading this priceless article below about relationships with a big age difference from the Danish women’s magazine “Woman”. 

Every time there is something is italics and parentheses, it’s me pointing out that whatever was just said is based on some delusion when it comes to relationships, a delusion that doesn’t have anything to do with reality.

Here’s the article:

Grave robber or cradle robber

Woman gives good advice on relationships with a big age difference

by Signe Lønholdt


Live in the present, but think about the future

(Is it true? Does it really lead to happiness to think about the future, which is just a thought that doesn’t have anything to do with reality?) 

Many couples with a big age difference live in the present and don’t consider how things will be in the future

(Is this true? I have yet to meet a person who doesn’t think about how things are going to be in the future!) 

Perhaps it’s frightening to think 10 years ahead. One of the partners in the relationship will be old while the other will still be relatively young. On the other hand, the age difference means less as you become older. A 20-year-old woman and a 35-year-old man will probably have less in common than a 50-year-old woman and a 65-year-old man. (Is this true?)

Because one’s personality really changes a lot when you’re in your 20s and 30s (Is this true? In my experience, the thoughts and beliefs that make up our personalities are formed during our early childhood and then don’t really change much unless one learns to question one’s thinking.) you could wake up one morning and find that you’ve outgrown the person you loved so much. That is why it’s especially important for people with a big age difference to talk to each other about the changes they are experiencing all the time (Why is it more important than for a couple where the age difference isn’t so big? Is it true that people of different ages are different?)

People in their 30s, 40s and 50s are much more active and in much better shape than the same age groups just 10 years ago so a few years plus or minus don’t really matter psychologically (Here the journalist contradicts herself. She just said that a few years plus or minus really mean a lot psychologically.) In today’s Denmark, it may not mean so much that there is a big age difference (Is it true? Then why is she writing an article about relationships with a big age difference?) – getting a relationship to work may be more important. The most important thing is that the two people have something in common because if you want to go to town and party and he wants to play golf you will probably drift apart as time passes (Is this true? Can’t you have a good relationship even if you have different interests? Can you only have a good relationship if you do everything or almost everything together? And is there anything wrong with drifting apart as time passes? Is a relationship only a success and valuable if it lasts a long time or until death parts the partners? Is a long, unhappy relationship better than a short, happy one?) Of course it is important for each party to have their own interests (Is it true?) and it’s important that you both have your own friends your own age or with the same interests (Is it true? Why is it important to have friends your own age? Isn’t it just as good to have a friend who’s not the same age as you? What does age have to do with friendship – or with anything for that matter? Also is it true that people of different ages are different?) but make sure you have something in common – if nothing else at least your relationship.

Not too long ago the media revealed that the not-so-young Helena Christensen had her claws in 10-years-younger Josh Hartnett (Is that true? Did she contact him or did he contact her? Did she chase him or did he chase her?) and they’re not the only couple in Hollywood with a big age difference. In fact it’s almost become a sport to find a boyfriend/girlfriend who is either a lot older or a lot younger than oneself(Is it true?) and maybe you are one of the people who’s following the trend (Is it true? And if you are in a relationship where there’s a big age difference, is it because you are following a trend?) Here are a few tips for women who like Sugar Daddies or Boy Toys.

If there is more than five years age difference between you and your partner you can place yourself in the category “Partners with a big age difference”.

Maybe you think that men your own age are too immature and are still running around making jokes, so you’d rather have a more experienced and serious man. Or maybe you find men your own age way too serious and too focused on their careers – they forget to play and be impulsive so you would rather have a man who is much younger and freer.

But be sure what your motives are before you start the relationship – is it because you want to be a mother for him or is it because he is the father figure you always missed. Is(How can you do that? How can you become more conscious of what your motives are – and if that’s so important, why doesn’t she say anything about this in this article?) he a young trophy or a stable economic support? If you choose him for the wrong reasons (Is it “wrong” to choose a partner because you’re attracted to his/her physical appearance or his/her money? What then are the “right” reasons?) the relationship will be difficult because things can suddenly change – and he won’t need a mother anymore or the money can disappear.

The rest of the family

The reaction of your friends and family may not be so positive the first time you tell them that your new partner is 10 years younger or older than you are. If he is older, they might not understand what you see in him – and if he is younger, they will be betting that he will leave you when you get older. But it’s because they want the best for you, so listen to what they say (Why? Is it true that what you friends and family say is true? Have your friends and family learned to see the difference between reality and their thoughts?) and maybe they will say something wise that you can use. And if they don’t, well just let their words go in one ear and out the other and be happy that you’ve found the man in your life.

In any case, it’s important to have friends (It’s important for my happiness to have friends – is that true?) so even if they don’t take the news so nicely at first, try to get them to understand (I can get my friends to understand something they don’t understand – is that true?) that you and your new partner really are good for each other despite the big age difference. It can in fact be difficult for you and your new love to find friends who are in the same boat as you and it’s always nice to have someone you can talk to about life and love, so why not keep your old friends?

Marvelous right??? High level comedy…. right!

If this is where women get their information about relationships, it’s no wonder most women are more or less confused, frustrated and unhappy when it comes to relationships (whether they’re single, lovers, married, divorced or whatever). And if their partners also buy these myths, is it any wonder that our relationships are a battlefield of unhappiness, confusion, anger, jealousy, insecurity, stress, unfulfilled expectations and performance anxiety?

You can do better than this dear women’s magazines!

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Posted by on July 5, 2013 in WISDOM

 

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Wake up and be conscious of what you’re thinking, saying and doing so that you don’t create any more unhappiness for yourself.


The television reporter grabbed his videocamera and headed for the front door of our 97-year-old men’s clothing store. “Give me a couple of minutes to set up,” he said. “Then I’ll signal to let you know when you can turn the lights out on the sign.”

As the door closed behind him, my husband Steve and I looked around. Our Going Out of Business sale was over. Our third-generation store was about to move into the history books of our Midwestern town. We had been in this business for more than half our lives as owners, and my husband had been helping in the family store since he was a child. His grandfather had started it; his father had grown it; we had once thrived in it, and now we were closing it forever.

I expected to feel sad, or at least wistful. But for some reason, the part of me that I was leaving behind as the doors closed was one I was happy to give up. I looked around at the carnage of the sale and felt no regrets. No tears welled up; no chill ran down my spine.

Just years before, I had heard speaker Rosita Perez say there are seven words that will change your life: “When the horse is dead, get off.” This horse had been dead for years, and we had actually been dragging it along as we tried to move forward. As you can imagine, we weren’t going very far or fast doing that.

Although there were numerous reasons in the marketplace for why our business had declined, the real one is that neither my husband Steve nor I had our heart in it. Whatever creative energy we had once felt for it was gone. Instead, each of our work souls had found a new mate: his in photography; mine in showing others how to access new levels of energy and power. The store had not only become a drag on our time and finances; it was holding us back from being all we knew we could be.

Still, it took us 10 years from the time we made the decision to the actual closing of the store. We had all kinds of reasons for our slowness. Our kids needed to graduate from high school. His father wouldn’t approve. We hadn’t paid off all its debts. We didn’t have any other reliable source of income. But the real reason was that we didn’t know who we’d be without it. In spite of the fact that we didn’t like who we were with it—negative, scared, angry people—we had a hard time imagining ourselves as happy or whole without it. It wasn’t so much that the townspeople couldn’t imagine us without it; it was that we couldn’t. Whenever we thought “this is the year,” we found ourselves seized with fear and what came out was, “Maybe next year.”

Finally, we realized that we weren’t just losing money or time. It was our spirits that were running out. Every bit of joy we were finding in our other pursuits was being tempered by a “yes, but…” An edginess pervaded all of our conversations. Our first reactions to any topic were cynical or negative. We used the word “but” all the time. So it was clear that if the horse wasn’t dying, we were, at least spiritually.

So in spite of the store’s unresolved problems and in spite of not having our own ducks clearly in a new row, we let it go. I wasn’t sure what lay ahead, but I did know that I would never discover it if I was always looking behind me.

We were both going with the only things we did know. We knew we wanted to be happy. We knew we wanted every day to be satisfying. We knew that there were subjects we wanted to know more about. We knew there were people who would be fun to get to know. And we finally knew that it didn’t matter what other people thought about what we were doing, including his father.

So I decided to add on 3 more words that will change your life to Rosita’s original seven:

 “Be your Self.”

I recently read a great line that said, “When they say ‘be true to yourself,’ which self do they mean?” For what I learned in our store experience is that in all the years I was resisting closing it, I was listening to my small, scared self (little s), the one that some people call the ego. The one that regretted all my mistakes of the past and was terrified about the future

.

My true Self had no such doubts or fears. That’s the one I heard when my stomach wasn’t in knots. The one that tossed just enough coincidences my way to convince me that we were on the right track. The one that didn’t have any questions at all about what was right or wrong for me and us.

When we tried to run the store while pursuing our other passions, we were listening to both selves. And you can’t be both positive and negative at the same time. It had to be one or the other, So we took a quantum leap and chose happiness, even though we weren’t sure how things would ultimately work out.

I would love to tell you that we’re living happily ever after, but that’s not accurate. We are just living happily, day by day, not in spite of or because of anything, but just because we now know that no other approach works. We still have no idea at all about how some of our legal and financial issues will resolve. But this we do know: We have told ourselves, and the universe, that we’re ready to be happy by releasing our fear and unhappiness. And since we did that, both of our phones have been ringing with offers.

There’s a great line in the movie “The Natural” that Robert Redford says to Glenn Close. “There’s the life you learn with, and then the life you live after that.”

The life I’m living now is using what I learned, which includes: never be bullied by other peoples’ demands or opinions of you. Never let money be a reason that you do or don’t do anything. Forget your story, and whatever “reality” you think you’re stuck in. Don’t waste a single day of your life being unhappy. Listen to your gut. Acknowledge when you feel peaceful, and let go of anything or anyone that doesn’t make you feel that way. Wake up and be conscious of what you’re thinking, saying and doing so that you don’t create any more unhappiness for yourself. Accept conditions as they are, and then decide what you want to do about them. But mostly, be true to your Self, the higher self that comes forward when you’re not looking anywhere but here.

I didn’t need to wait to see the store’s sign lights go out. I had already turned my back on them, and was turned towards the light of my own heart. I just wish I had done it sooner.

I grabbed my purse and coat, gave Steve a quick kiss and said, “See you at home,” and turned towards the door. I knew that the whole world was waiting on the other side.

Robin L. Silverman    

By Robin L. Silverman

Visit the link below for more amazing material!

http://www.soulfulliving.com/horse_is_dead.htm

 
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Posted by on May 30, 2013 in WISDOM

 

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Notice how everyone, yes even lovers attempt to find a need or defect in you that they promise that they can sort out for you.

 

    

John Lennon – We live in a consumer culture that is aware of the unhappiness of the masses. It focuses all its profit seeking artillery on us in an attempt to exploit us. How is this done?

It is achieved by selling us products, drugs and all the distractions we need to take our minds off our perceived unhappiness. I am convinced that most readers will agree that they are also often experiencing of discomfort and pending danger notwithstanding the relative trouble free period that we are currently going through. Many of us mumble, “It is just too good to last” during relative calm periods. Have you ever felt feelings of discomfort and pending disaster percolating just under the surface while your relationship boat is currently safely tucked into a love laced harbour? The main reason why we fail to enjoy our lives one moment at a time is because we are daily in a mental battle with the force of RESISTANCE. We have been well conditioned since early childhood that our happiness, success and feeling of safety can rapidly disappear, overnight or after a single phone call or after we received a single letter. We are thus afraid to really let go and enjoy the moment. We think that if we manage to keep our vehicle of life’s handbrake partially engaged it will prevent the full force of the pain and disappointment when it knocks on our door. Look around you and you will notice that there is virtually no industry that doesn’t target our vanity and strong desire for love, acceptance and security. Our bodies are never perfect and we need some lotion or potion that will melt away the fat so we can be happy and acceptable. Our hair apparently fall short of the required level of shine and texture and prevent us from making the right impression while we work or play. Our boobs are either too small or too big and apparently play a major role when you are trying to find the perfect partner. We are either too well qualified or under-qualified when we apply for a job and need some additional training if we want to earn a good income or stop living with our parents. There are endless streams of RESISTANCE in us that subliminally influence us daily. Society is set up in a manner that exploits that natural RESISTANCE that our parents hammered into us. Millions of conversations take place in our heads almost all the time. There are so many voices that hum in our heads that attempt to direct our lives that we find it virtually impossible to get a moments rest. These voices are the voices of RESISTANCE that everyone that ever had anything to do with your conditioning planted in your head. You still have great, great grandparents that attempt to give you input via the conditioning of your parents. You also still have the spooky voices of priests in your head that warn and reprimand when you contemplate thoughts of joy, sex and rock and roll. Can you see what you are up against? You have a huge personal archive that is plugged into the family archive that is in turn plugged into the society’s archive etc. Can you see where the RESISTANCE come from that are playing such a powerful role in all your choices and experiences.

I suggest that you make some notes today of the endless range of archives that you are subscribed to. Look around you today and notice how many products, services and commercial ventures want to plug into your RESISTANCE channel. Notice how everyone, yes even lovers attempt to find a need or defect in you that they promise that they can sort out for you. Notice the advertisements on TV, the bill boards everywhere you look that attempt to make you a better, more complete, successful and happy person (at a fee). See if you can figure out how your tendency to RESIST your current moment is robbing you of peace of mind. I will continue this series tomorrow.

Rene

 

 
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Posted by on April 4, 2013 in WISDOM

 

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The number 1 cause of suffering and unhappiness are the scary stories you tell yourself about life and the world.

 

Investigate your stories!

This is a very powerful read. Use this tool when you experience discomfort or when you worry about something or someone. This is a wonderful gift that you should share with your friends and family.

Master this system and your life will take on a totally new meaning. Please ask questions or make comments until you fully mastered this system.

 


Rene

 

The number 1 cause of suffering and unhappiness are the scary stories you tell yourself about life and the world. Have you ever almost scared yourself to death about something that never happened? Or gotten yourself into a panic about something you thought just might happen one day but never did? Or told yourself stories about the potential negative outcome of events that were far off in the future? Or fantasized about what you’d do if lost your job or got a terminal illness? Or invented worst-case scenarios that played out like Hollywood catastrophe films? Well if you have or do, welcome to the club! Because you’re not alone.

You see the worry club is probably the biggest club on the planet. Almost everyone is a member, at least everyone I know is! Although I have heard of a few wise souls who seem to have dropped out of the club. But they are few and far between indeed.

Of course the worry club has different levels of membership. Some worriers practice daily and are true experts, while others only use their worrying skills on special occasions! But all in all, it’s the most extraordinary club, because it’s a totally useless association, which does no one any good. Just think about it for a moment and look back at your life. Five years ago weren’t you worrying about pretty much the same things as you worry about today?

Weren’t you worrying about your health or your finances or your kids or your relationship? And look at you today. You’re still here and you’re still probably worrying about the same things – despite all your past worrying! And what happened? The truth is probably nothing much happened did it? OK maybe there was a bump in the road here and there, but not much else. And if something really ‘serious’ did happen, it almost certainly wasn’t what you were worrying about in the first place. It was probably something completely different, something you weren’t expecting at all. But still you managed to get here, despite all your worrying and the bumps in the road! So the question is, did all that worrying help at all? Did it make the passage from then to now any easier? The honest answer for all of us is probably not. The honest answer is that worrying doesn’t make the journey through life one bit easier.

Quite the contrary, it just wears us out unnecessarily! I know it’s true for me. When I think of all the wear and tear I could have saved myself if I hadn’t worried so much! I worried and worried and what happened? The years passed and I got older, but I’m still here and still pretty much OK. Can we just stop?

No we can’t. Not just like that. We all know it doesn’t work to tell ourselves to stop worrying. If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably tried countless times to stop worrying only to discover it just doesn’t work. We tell ourselves over and over again not to worry and then we still worry! Even though we know that worrying is negative, stupid, stressful, and a total waste of time – and that nothing good ever comes from it.

So what can we do?

Is there a way to stop that works?

In my experience, there’s only one way to deal with worrying – and that’s to shine the light of truth on the things we are worrying about. Instead of suppressing or running away from the thoughts that are worrying us, I’ve discovered that the best way to deal with them is to examine them and find out if they’re true. Why? Because if we discover we’re worrying about things that are really not true, it makes it much more difficult to keep on worrying about them!

Typical worry scenarios

But let’s look at some of our worries first. I’ve discovered that we all worry about pretty much the same things and tell ourselves very similar stories. No one is special; we’re all in the same boat. Of course there are variations on our major themes, but we all basically worry about the same things. One of our main worry themes is our health. We worry about life in these physical bodies and about the maintenance and upkeep of physical life in these bodies. We worry about how we feel and how we look. We worry about our aches and pains. We worry about growing old. In other words, a lot of our worries – maybe most of our worries – are connected to these bodies. Sometimes when I’m really worried about my health, I think that if I didn’t have this body, I’d have absolutely nothing to worry about! No body = no worries! But since we do have bodies, most of us worry about them.

We also worry about survival while we’re in these bodies, so we worry about money and our jobs and our financial security. And we worry about how our body is getting along with other bodies, so we worry about our relationships or about being alone.

But whatever we’re worrying about, you will find when you examine it, that it is some kind of scary story we are telling ourselves about what might happen to life in this body. Here are some of the main ones:

– If I get sick, I won’t be able to manage.

– Life is dangerous and the world is a scary place.

– There is something wrong with me.

– There’s something wrong with what I want.

– I am not OK.

– I should be in control.

– If something happens to my child, I’ll be devastated.

– If I do what I want, he/she won’t like/love me anymore.

– I’ll end up all alone.

– Something bad will happen to me and I’ll be dependent on others.

– If my partner leaves, I’ll be lonely.

– Being sick or in pain is unfair. (It’s unfair that I should suffer so.)

– Without money, there’s no security.

– Something might go wrong.

– And so on…

 

 

 

You don’t see the world as it is – you see the world as you are!

 Let’s look more closely at a few of these scenarios we worry about so much. Because when we take a closer look, we find they are very juicy stories indeed!

If I get sick, I won’t be able to manage. Almost everyone worries  about getting sick and not being able to manage.

For some people, the slightest ache or pain can set them off on a rampage, imagining all the terrible things the future will bring. They see cancer, helplessness, and loneliness. They see being a burden on their family, ending up in a hospital and dying all alone… This story is a great way to worry yourself sick.

Life is dangerous and the world is a scary place. This is another one of those juicy stories we tell ourselves. We probably learned this one from our parents and the media does everything in its power to give us more fuel for the fire! We’re also experts at passing on this story to
our kids.

I’ll be lonely without a partner.

Are you staying in an unsatisfactory relationship because you are afraid of being alone? Are you making yourself sick by telling yourself the story of how lonely you will be if you leave your partner or if he/she leaves you?

There is something wrong with what I want. Here’s another good story you might be telling yourself when you can’t explain or justify the way you are – or your choices and behavior – to the people close to you.
There is something wrong with me.

Another juicy spin on the one above – which gives us endless heartache!

I should be in control.

Here’s another superb story that most of us have despite the fact that
everything in the whole universe is spinning along perfectly without our doing anything at all! No wonder we feel crazy when we tell ourselves this story – we’re asking ourselves to do the impossible.

If you’re nodding your head and saying yes, that sounds like me – what do you do next? My answer is – investigate your stories and your worries. Hold them up to the light of truth and see if there is any truth to them. OK you say, but how do I do that?

Byron Katie and The Work

The best modern-day tool I know to investigate our stories with is The Work by Byron Katie. The Work comprises four simple questions that any of us can use to examine our fears, worries and stories and see whether or not they are true.

The interesting thing about doing “The Work” is that when you ask the four questions and find your own truth, many of your worries just disappear. It’s amazing. Somehow when you discover for yourself that one of your scary stories simply isn’t true, it no longer has such a hold over you and it dissolves all by itself. So instead of trying to stop worrying, you just do.

The other interesting thing about The Work is that it’s really a modern
version of the traditional inquiry techniques that many of the great teachers have taught throughout the ages. So many teachers have said find out what is truth because only the truth will set you free. But the trouble is, we don’t really know how to do this. We don’t know how to find out what our truth is.

Now Byron Katie offers us four questions that really cut through all the
confusion to the heart of the matter, quickly and effectively. And you don’t need any special training to use the questions. You can do it by yourself or with your partner or friends.

The four questions are:

1) Is it true?

2) Can you absolutely know that it’s true?

3) How do you react when you think that thought?

4) Who would you be without the thought?

and

The turnaround (the exact opposite of the original statement)”

From Byron Katie’s book “Loving What Is”

Does this sound too easy to be true? Ok, well let’s try the four questions on one of the above statements and see what happens. Let’s take the first one:

If I get sick, I won’t be able to manage.

1) Is it true? “Well yes, if I get sick. I won’t be able to manage because I won’t be able to go to work and then how will I pay my bills, etc. I’ll lose my house and end up on welfare or in an institution.”

2) Can you absolutely know that it’s true? “Well no. I can’t absolutely know it’s true. I have been sick before and managed to keep my job. I was on sick leave and then I got better and things worked out. And if I really got sick my kids or my parents would probably help me or my friends would, and there is government help too. So no I can’t absolutely know that I wouldn’t be able to manage if I get sick.”

3) How do you react when you think that thought if I get sick, I won’t be able to manage? “It makes me feel terrible. I get so worried and upset when I don’t feel well and then I feel that my whole existence depends on me having good health. It’s terrible; it makes me so tense and afraid all the time.”

4) Who would you be without the thought? Who would you be if you couldn’t think the thought that if I get sick I won’t be able to manage…? “Well I would be a lot happier and so much more relaxed. I wouldn’t worry so much about my future and I would enjoy my life right now much more.”

The turnaround. What is the exact opposite of the original statement? It could be: If I get sick, I will be able to manage. Is this statement as true or truer than your original statement? “Well yes, I can see that this could be as true or truer than my original statement because in reality when I’ve been sick before I have managed.”

What happens next? If you allow yourself to go through this exercise very slowly and mindfully and give yourself the time to sit with each question and listen to your own inner voice and your own answers, you will begin to see how your own thoughts are making you suffer. You will see how much anguish your stories are actually causing you because when you examine them, you discover that in reality, nothing has actually happened. You’re worrying about a dream, a fantasy! In the above story, for example, you discovered that the reality is that when you got sick previously, things worked themselves out just fine and it wasn’t so terrible as you are imagining it could be.

Then we find that question 4 ‘Who would you be without the thought’ and the ‘turnaround’ allow you to explore how it feels not to identify so strongly with your original worry thought. When you do this, you discover that your scary projections about the future just dissolve in the light of truth and you can relax and enjoy this now moment.

The truth is so energizing!

(See Byron Katie’s books “Loving What Is” and “I Need Your Love – Is That True?”)

Besides our worry thoughts about the future, there is another type of story we are telling ourselves which gives us a lot of anguish. These are the stories about what is preventing us from being happy in this now moment. The ‘if only’ stories, which often sound like this: ‘If only he’d listen, I’d be happy. If only the sun was shining, I’d be happy. If only my back didn’t hurt, I’d be happy. If only I had a little more money in the bank, I’d be happy. If only I’d gotten that promotion, I’d be happy, If only he loved me, I’d be happy…’ you know the drill.

When you find yourself telling stories like these, it’s another brilliant opportunity to use the four questions. You can even do it as a game or fun exercise. Start by identifying the stories you are telling yourself about what’s keeping you from being happy at this very moment. I know I asked this question before, but this time I’d like you to be very specific and write down exactly what’s preventing you from being happy right now – and then ask the four questions about these statements.

Think about this carefully and write it down. What’s keeping you from being happy right now? Is it your job? Is it your boss at work? If that’s what it is, what’s the story? Write it down. Is it your health? If it is, what’s the story? Is it your relationship with your partner or your children? If it is, what’s the story? Is it the weather? Is it your age, your looks, the amount of money in your bank account? What exactly is preventing you from being happy right now? Is it the world situation? Is it your father’s health? What is it? Pinpoint the story and write it down. Then ask the four questions about each of your statements.

In my experience, when you ask the four questions and investigate what is preventing you from being happy at this moment, the stories often dissolve in the light of truth. And when this happens, happiness appears automatically.

You don’t have to ‘do’ anything to make yourself happy. In fact you can’t. What you find instead is that you are just happy because you are happiness itself. Happiness is your nature.

Barbra Berger – International Best Selling Author and good friend.

http://www.barbaraberger.typepad.com/

 

 
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Posted by on September 5, 2012 in WISDOM

 

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Sexual Unhappiness is a Religiously Transmitted Disease – Book Review


People who leave religion to seem to be the ones who tried hardest and who have invested those most time into soul-searching.

There are themes of intense searching, bible reading, efforts to conform and find the promises of their religion, only to fail time and again. Ironically, the intense searching, bible reading and attempts to understand led many to recognize there were many things they were not being told and much was hidden or poorly explained.

  • The more sexually restrictive a religion is the more it uses guilt.

  • Conservative religions teach guilt and proscribe many behaviors such as sex before marriage, masturbation, oral sex and sex outside of marriage, and use religious based approaches to sex education with emphasis on abstinence only, failing to teach about birth control, condom use and abortion.

  • Biology seems to trump religion despite the millions of dollars and hours devoted to teaching religious children how to behave within their

    religious restrictions. Other general studies of sexuality show that 95% all adults have had premarital sex by the time they marry including, we believe, most ministers who tout abstinence only.

  • The religious kids were learning from sexual experience more than the less religious!

  • Most religions preach incessantly against pornography, yet it is the religious

    children in this sample that used it more.

 

  • It appears that the things religions preach against most – sexual experimentation,pornography and the internet – are what religious kids may use the most, while failing to talk to their parents.

  • Non-religious kids seem to be following the religious proscriptions better than the religious ones.

  • For the most religious, getting religion out of their lives seemed to make a huge difference in their sex life.

  • Those from the most guilt based religions would show the greatest drop in guilt and biggest increase in sexual satisfaction.

  • If porn is as bad as religions say it is, they aren’t doing a very good job of keeping it out of the hands of children and adolescents, 20% or more of both groups said they were using porn by 12 years old. For all the billboards and sermons against porn, there seems to be little return on the investment.

  • We were most interested in religion’s effect on porn use. If religion’s

    proscriptions are effective, we should see a clear difference between those who are most and least religious in the teen years when they are getting strong messages from their religion about sex. Looking only at men, we can see that there is very little difference between the groups. This suggests that the effect of religion is negligible for men.

 

  •  The moral of this story, if you want a good sex life, don’t get  involved with a highlyreligious person. Many in our sample seem to have taken that path. Of those that do have highly religious spouses, the majority have sexual problems in the relationship. 

  • The main benefit that people  express is the ability to just enjoy sex without guilt.

    Over and over people said, they are much happier and fulfilled not only in their sex life,but in the rest of their life as well since leaving religion.

  •  Guilt messages have remarkably little measurable effect on actual behavior. As in other surveys, our results show that religion has a slight effect in delaying the onset of sexual activity.

  • Religious parents are perceived to be poorer at sex education compared to less religious parents, though neither are particularly good at it.

  • Religion simply ignores biology and creates psychological states that interfere

    with appropriate sexual expression and development. Teaching guilt and shame around things that are perfectly natural. Religion impacts how people see their bodies and express their sexuality whether gay, lesbian or straight. Religions have nothing to say about our biology. They are in large measure clueless about hormones, braindevelopment, attraction factors, body image formation and many other things.

  • If parents and schools spent as much time teaching kids about safe and enjoyable sex as they do teaching about safe driving, there would be fewer

    unwanted pregnancies, less disease, fewer abortions and far less guilt and shame that lead people to make poor decisions about partners and behavior.

  • Eliminate guilt and shame around sex, and religions have very little to work with.

  • Religions cannot claim that their ideas and principles actually impact

    behavior or make people happier.

  • We can also see that religion creates guilt and shame around the most basic sexualact, masturbation, but has no effect on its practice. 

  • Condemning children for masturbating, telling them they will go to hell or suffer in thislife for doing it, is child abuse pure and simple.

  • Religion uses sex for purposes of propagation not the happiness of its adherents.

  • There is ample evidence in this survey, that one of the best things one can do to

    improve your sex life is leave religion, especially if you were in a conservative religion.

  • We have seen that stigmas, shame and guilt do not work in preventing or stopping behavior, but they do make people feel sexually miserable.

  • 95% of Americans have sex before marriage. Your minister probably had sex beforemarriage but he tells you not to. Protect yourself, use a condom.

  • Adolescents and young adults are in a critical time trying to

    establish their sexual identity. Religion intentionally plays upon the doubts and fears of youth to infect them with medieval ideas of sexuality.

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Read more at the link below

SOURCE

 
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Posted by on August 27, 2012 in WISDOM

 

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You create your own heaven and hell if you support this separation theory. You will remain in a pain, fear and a rejected state until you accept that you already have what they are trying to sell you. You are already one with God and can change your life to include fun and happiness today if you decided to do so. It is not God that are spoiling your fun or testing you, but it is your own warped thoughts of separation that is causing most of your unhappiness.

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THE FUNDAMENTAL DELUSION OF HUMANITY IS TO SUPPOSE THAT I AM HERE AND YOU ARE OUT THERE. THE TRUTH IS YOU ARE NOT SEPARATED FROM ANYTHING EVER. THERE IS NO TIME AND SPACE BETWEEN YOU AND GOD!

  

SEPARATION IS THE GREAT OPTICAL DELUSION:Albert Einstein called it an optical delusion. Yasutani Roshi, the spiritual teacher, said, “The fundamental delusion of humanity is to suppose that I am here and you are out there.” The truth is you are not separate from anything, ever.

You are never separate from life or from the subatomic unity that makes the mountains, amethysts and stars. When you look at an island some distance from the land you conclude that it is a separate freestanding entity that stands totally on its own. If you however study the lay of the land you soon discover that the mainland and the Iceland is connected with each other. The water creates a delusion that it is a body totally divorced from the mainland.

I mentioned earlier in this series of thoughts that you are an extension of God. When you study the words of Einstein and Roshi you suddenly realise that God is merged with your DNA building blocks and the life force that pulses through your system.

God is not an old man with a bad attitude somewhere up there that scans each individual day and night for flaws and so-called sins. He is the ultimate creator of the universe and you are just one of the manifestations of this creation process.

Separation is the greatest disease of humankind. It is because you believe you are separate and alien to the rest of life that you experience lack, struggle, conflict and pain. There is today no unity left on this planet. People have been conditioned to see themselves as separate entities that stand on their own. Each person is neatly isolated and boxed with his or her own label.

How can you be one with God and fear failure? How can you be one with your spouse and experience fear and rejection? How can you be in tune with nature and destroy it. Many unscrupulous operators in the history of humankind have carefully manipulated this delusion of separateness. The old principle of “divide and rule” has taken its toll on all of us. Politicians and spiritual leaders have broken us up into millions of splinter groups. When the spiritual leaders successfully extracted God from man, woman and child by creating this feeling of partitioning they created a wonderful business for themselves. Part of their sales pitch included services like “path finding”, “mediating” and “bridge building”.

Because us poor idiotic mortals bought the “separation” concept we became willing customers for these operators. When these so-called “spiritual leaders” successfully developed the reward (heaven) or failure (hell) concept they took control of most people’s minds on this planet. Because of the inherent tendency of people to fail and make mistakes the heaven and hell concept worked like magic. Our fear of the unknown and our desire to live make us excellent customers for movements that promote these unfounded principles. Our yearning to re-connect with our God core stolen from us makes us puppets in the hands of the people that created this illusion.

 

Individuals that dare to question or ask for clarification were and still are threatened with excommunication. The fear to be cast out of the “protective” walls of these institutions stopped most individuals in their tracks. The risk of giving up the potential reward of heaven was just too much to bear. Separation is a feared emotion. Most of us will rather be part of a defective system than no system at all. When you study how individuals have been killed and tortured in the name of religion through the ages you find it difficult to understand why not more people want to investigate the real truth of the matter.

 

If you want to experience real love, happiness and success you must discard this illusion of separation that you have been sold by these unscrupulous operators. Once you accept that you are one with everything in the universe you loose your fear of isolation.

You are one with every creation on this planet. You are part of that wonderful tree in your garden. You are one with the snow-capped mountain that you often see on postcards. You are special and do not need a special man made communication system if you want to share your thoughts and feelings with your creator. You are not on the outside and must overcome obstacles and horror filled tests to unite with God.

I sometimes feel that the video game creators got their ideas from these principles. You are not a sinner and will be tried and tested in the most inhumane ways to see if you are worthy of some heavenly prize. God will not demand the life of your child to see if you qualify for this heavenly state. He will not expose a vulnerable and fallible entity like you to an endless game of visible and invisible examinations to see if you qualify for a place in his heavenly haven. All this is nothing more than an illusion like I indicted earlier in this document. I am sure that most of these spiritual leaders are not even aware that they are leading you down a path of confusion, a case of the blind leading the blind.

 

You create your own heaven and hell if you support this separation theory. You will remain in a pain, fear and a rejected state until you accept that you already have what they are trying to sell you. You are already one with God and can change your life to include fun and happiness today if you decided to do so. It is not God that are spoiling your fun or testing you, but it is your own warped thoughts of separation that is causing most of your unhappiness. There is no need to build a bridge because you are already one with and part of your creator.

Rene

EXAMPLE OF LOVE GOD OR GET TOASTED IN THIS CLIP

 

A SICK TOXIC PERCEPTION OF GOD CREATED BY THOSE THAT WE HOPED WOULD FEED US SPIRITUAL FOOD WHILE WE ATTEMPT TO MAKE OUR WAY THROUGH THE ENDLESS CHALLENGES WE FACE DAILY!

 
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Posted by on May 14, 2012 in WISDOM

 

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Do you know your word is law? – That what you say, even casually, becomes your reality?

 

The Power of Affirmation

 

Do you know your word is law?


That what you say, even casually, becomes your reality?

 

I am quite sure people would be much more careful of what they say if they were aware of the power of the spoken word.

 

You see, every word you speak or write is an affirmation.

 

To affirm is literally to make firm.

 

To affirm is to manifest your thoughts into material form.

 

Unfortunately, far too many people, not realizing the power of their words, are affirming lack, poverty, illness, and unhappiness for themselves. By complaining and proclaiming misery, they are decreeing and creating the very misery, lack, pain, and sorrow they so dislike.

 

Take Control of Your Words


You are the only person in your mind. You can decide, right now, to take control of your words, both written and spoken, and thereby take control of your destiny. After all, you and no one else is responsible for what comes out of your mouth. No one else can force you to speak words of negativity. It’s your decision. So if you want to change your life, take responsibility for your own words right now.

 

Once you become aware of the power of words, you can quickly see why other peoples’ lives are as they are. Just listen to what they are saying, to their conversations. It’s very revealing. People who complain all the time, who focus on misery, who are always moaning and groaning about how difficult their lives are, do really have difficult lives. Their lives are as they decree them to be.


Those who proclaim joy, success, and love, those who speak positive words, who decree that good things are happening, live joyful, successful, interesting, loving lives.

 

“In the Beginning Was the Word….

 

The Bible and other ancient scriptures all speak of the power of the word. They teach that our words are the creative force of the universe, alive with power for good or for evil.

 

Many modern psychological techniques also recognize the power of our words. For example, neuro-linguistic programming, an effective new technique for reprogramming our mental states, helps people change their behavioral patterns. An important tool in NLP for understanding behavioral programs is listening to what people say.

 

Mantras, or the use of sacred words, also aim to reprogram our minds and bodies to increased health and happiness through repeating words of power.

 

The world-famous mantra below was created by the French physician Emile Coué (1857-1926) to help people heal themselves of all kinds of illnesses and psychological problems. Coué, who was a medical doctor in Nancy, France, successfully treated thousands of patients with this mantra. All one has to do is repeat it aloud, fifteen times in a row, three times a day, each and every day. Repetition helps the mantra work on our subconscious mind, which then acts accordingly, without interference from our logical intellect.

 

Every day in every way I am getting better and better – Emile Coué

 

Proclaim Your Affirmations Aloud Every Day


You can develop positive affirmations for every area of your life. You can also use affirmations created by other people, like the Coué affirmation above. Or you can use passages from sacred texts, the Bible, or better yet, you can create your own affirmations.

 

Start with those areas in your life that are most pressing and begin affirming the positive outcome you want to experience. Decree life as you want it to be and believe it should be. Always affirm in the present tense. It doesn’t matter if your affirmations are not yet true (have not yet manifested in the outer world.) By affirming positive outcomes, you create them, first in your subconscious mind and in the universal mind, then in the outer world. Your words and your belief in your decrees make them manifest on the physical plane.

 

Repeat Your Affirmations 15 Times in a Row


I suggest saying your affirmations every morning and evening aloud for about five minutes at a time. If you have time during the middle of the day, say your affirmations again.

 

Many teachers and healers also suggest repeating each of your important affirmations fifteen times in a row, to energize yourself and give your affirmation the necessary power.

 

Repeating the Lord’s Prayer out loud fifteen times in a row is a very powerful general affirmation.

 

Writing Affirmations


When you find yourself in situations where you can’t say your affirmations aloud (for example, at your office, on the train), write them down in your notebook. Writing affirmations fifteen times in a row is also a powerful way to manifest Good in your life.

 

Be Specific


Not only should you change your affirmations to meet your evolving needs, you should not hesitate to be specific in your affirmations. It’s fine to use general affirmations on a daily basis, but for specific needs and situations, be bold and affirm the results you want.

 

For example, to increase your income and meet your financial obligations, be definite about prosperity. (See Chapter 10 on The Power of Money.) Affirm:

 

I am a rich child of the infinite universe. Abundant supply now manifests in my life and I now meet my financial obligations easily and effortlessly. _______ (state amount) now comes quickly to me.

 

For health problems, you can create your own specific affirmations to meet specific needs or use general affirmations such as the examples below for health and healing:

 

My body is strong and healthy. Every day, new life, strength, and vitality are flowing to every atom, cell, and organ of my body. Every day in every way I am getting better and better and better.

 

I love my body and give thanks for its perfect functioning. Every cell and atom of my body now radiates vibrant health and vitality.

 

I give thanks for ever-increasing health, strength, and vitality. I am enjoying radiant good health now.

 

Affirm and Demonstrate!


As you continue to affirm, you will see the results of your inner work begin to manifest in the world around you. You will experience surprising demonstrations, unexpected changes, new Good, and an increased sense of control over your destiny.

 

As you begin to experience the power of your words, you can expand this power for Good by affirming Good for other people too. Often your affirmations of Good for another person can turn the tide in their life. Especially when their need seems great, do not be afraid to speak bold words of affirmation to them directly. Say things like:

 

You will be fine.

Everything is okay.

You are just fine the way you are.

Of course you can do it.

I know you can do it.

I have complete faith in you.

I predict complete success for you in this venture.

I admire your talents and ability.

You are strong and healthy.

You look so much better today.

Thank you for the inspiration you’ve given me.

I really appreciate your help.

 

Such words can make all the difference to the people around you, whether they be troublesome acquaintances, good friends, co-workers, family members, children, or lovers.

 

Affirm and Enjoy!


Continue to play with your affirmations!

 

Sing them, chant them, dance to them, write them down, hang them on your walls, paste them on your refrigerator and telephones, hang them in your bathroom, repeat them silently to yourself throughout the day. I promise you that soon you will realize the full power of your words to create the Good that you so rightfully desire and deserve!

Barbara Berger

 
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Posted by on March 26, 2012 in WISDOM

 

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Are you a WRITER who does not write a PAINTER who does not paint, an ENTREPRENEUR who never starts a venture? Do you feel that SOMETHING prevents you from ACHIEVING your full potential? Then it might be an appropriate moment to take a hard look at how your RESISTENCE arrested your ability to take decisive and sustained action. New Series – No. 19

 

Students often ask me how they will be able to identify if they are currently in a state of RESISTANCE. The answer is simple and it is easy to detect when you are busy sabotaging yourself. How we feel at any given moment is a solid indicator where we are emotionally at any given moment in time. A feeling of unhappiness, frustration, doubt, fear and anxiety is all symptoms that we are right in the middle of a RESISTANCE storm. A feeling of boredom or dissatisfaction is also a solid indicator that we are in a state of RESISTANCE. Some of us have a feeling of guilt, but find it difficult to figure out why we are feeling so shitty and guilty. A feeling that we would rather stay in bed might be an indication that you have some kind of bug, but usually comes from a source where you are RESISTING something or someone. We often have no idea why we feel the way we do, but still come up with very creative excuses or blame our partner, friends, God or someone at work. Some attempt to drink, party or fuck their way out of the maze of RESISTANCE. Many of our addictions and obsessions come from the state of RESISTANCE. The consulting rooms of doctors and psychologists are full of victims or RESISTANCE. RESISTANCE can make you physically or mentally sick. RESISTANCE often turn into insomnia or anxiety attacks. Another symptom of RESISTANCE is a craving to shop and buy things. We often buy things we don’t need in an attempt to stop the craving deep inside us that eat away on our hearts, soul, dignity and financial capabilities.

 

You will notice that the consumer culture use our feelings of unhappiness and our desire for instant gratification to raid our wallets and credit cards. Look around you today and see if you can identify the many ways that we are exploited by the commercial world with promises that they will make us feel happy, satisfied, healed, more acceptable, slimmer, stronger, sexier etc. You will discover that the biggest percentage of sellers parasite on our basic habit of RESISTING our current moment. I will continue with this series tomorrow.

 

Rene

 

 
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Posted by on March 21, 2012 in WISDOM

 

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Are you a WRITER who does not write a PAINTER who does not paint, an ENTREPRENEUR who never starts a venture? Do you feel that SOMETHING prevents you from ACHIEVING your full potential? Then it might be an appropriate moment to take a hard look at how your RESISTENCE arrested your ability to take decisive and sustained action. New Series – No. 18

 

 

John Lennon – We live in a consumer culture that is aware of the unhappiness of the masses. It focuses all its profit seeking artillery on us in an attempt to exploit us. How is this done? It is achieved by selling us products, drugs and all the distractions we need to take our minds off our perceived unhappiness. I am convinced that most readers will agree that they are also often experiencing of discomfort and pending danger notwithstanding the relative trouble free period that we are currently going through. Many of us mumble, “It is just too good to last” during relative calm periods. Have you ever felt feelings of discomfort and pending disaster percolating just under the surface while your relationship boat is currently safely tucked into a love laced harbour? The main reason why we fail to enjoy our lives one moment at a time is because we are daily in a mental battle with the force of RESISTANCE. We have been well conditioned since early childhood that our happiness, success and feeling of safety can rapidly disappear, overnight or after a single phone call or after we received a single letter. We are thus afraid to really let go and enjoy the moment. We think that if we manage to keep our vehicle of life’s handbrake partially engaged it will prevent the full force of the pain and disappointment when it knocks on our door. Look around you and you will notice that there is virtually no industry that doesn’t target our vanity and strong desire for love, acceptance and security. Our bodies are never perfect and we need some lotion or potion that will melt away the fat so we can be happy and acceptable. Our hair apparently fall short of the required level of shine and texture and prevent us from making the right impression while we work or play. Our boobs are either too small or too big and apparently play a major role when you are trying to find the perfect partner. We are either too well qualified or under-qualified when we apply for a job and need some additional training if we want to earn a good income or stop living with our parents. There are endless streams of RESISTANCE in us that subliminally influence us daily. Society is set up in a manner that exploits that natural RESISTANCE that our parents hammered into us. Millions of conversations take place in our heads almost all the time. There are so many voices that hum in our heads that attempt to direct our lives that we find it virtually impossible to get a moments rest. These voices are the voices of RESISTANCE that everyone that ever had anything to do with your conditioning planted in your head. You still have great, great grandparents that attempt to give you input via the conditioning of your parents. You also still have the spooky voices of priests in your head that warn and reprimand when you contemplate thoughts of joy, sex and rock and roll. Can you see what you are up against? You have a huge personal archive that is plugged into the family archive that is in turn plugged into the society’s archive etc. Can you see where the RESISTANCE come from that are playing such a powerful role in all your choices and experiences.

 

I suggest that you make some notes today of the endless range of archives that you are subscribed to. Look around you today and notice how many products, services and commercial ventures want to plug into your RESISTANCE channel. Notice how everyone, yes even lovers attempt to find a need or defect in you that they promise that they can sort out for you. Notice the advertisements on TV, the bill boards everywhere you look that attempt to make you a better, more complete, successful and happy person (at a fee). See if you can figure out how your tendency to RESIST your current moment is robbing you of peace of mind. I will continue this series tomorrow.

 

Rene

 

 

 
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Posted by on March 20, 2012 in WISDOM

 

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The main reason why we experience these uncomfortable emotions can always be traced back to our belief in the lies that we believed about ourselves since early childhood. The first lie that we believed is that we are, not good, smart, attractive, rich, intelligent or competent enough.

We are daily faced with dramas and uncomfortable situations where we experience doubt, fear and unhappiness. The main reason why we experience these uncomfortable emotions can always be traced back to our belief in the lies that we believed about ourselves since early childhood. The first lie that we believed is that we are, not good, smart, attractive, rich, intelligent or competent enough. The moment you believe that you are not the way that you think other expect you should be you unleash massive pressure on everything you say or do. It is a major mistake to measure your earthly body and its software with perfection. You are setting yourself up for disappointment and failure with this frame of mind. It is your overzealous expectations from your ego driven self that creates and endless cycle of disappointments and inner conflicts in all your activities. The same holds true for others if you agree with my comments above. Individuals in relationships create an extremely fragile operation zone when they expect too much from their partners. The truth of the matter is that every individual that walks this plane was born perfect. Most do not have the slightest notion what they really are. We seem to discover early in our lives what we are not, but nobody spend any time explaining to us what we really are and where we really come from. We spend the biggest proportion of our lives designing a role for ourselves of perfection. We write a script for ourselves that is based on illusions and false perceptions. We frantically start looking for this false image with its perfect story that we created for ourselves in our heads wherever we go. This is the reason why we are always under pressure. We used the defective information and lies that we were fed from early childhood when we designed this image in our head that we strive for. It is impossible to achieve and sustain the perfect benchmarks that we set for ourselves. The body we currently use as vehicle and the corrupted and defective software that power our earthly vehicles can never sustain the perfection that we expect from ourselves. This is a very important factor to keep in mind the next time the voice in your head attempt to convince you that you are a sinner, failure or looser. The moment we believed in any of the defective perceptions programmed into us we start living a lie. Faith is a powerful force. Our nightmare begins soon after we admit to ourselves that we are not good enough, clever enough or attractive enough etc. Once we became convinced that we will never live up to the story we wrote for ourselves we start mentally disintegrating. We might still attempt to impress others with the stories we tell about ourselves, but deep inside know that nothing we say is based on truth and reality. The voice in our heads will fuel the fire deceit and might sometimes succeed in convincing us that we will if we work hard one day be saved, become rich or make a million. The voice with its lies in our head will concoct more and more lies in an attempt to keep us asleep and reliant on its false perceptions. A day will come when you become sick and tired living a lie. You will hate all the concocted stories and excuses that you need to make up to explain why you failed to achieve the outcomes you hoped for since early childhood. You are not your body and the false perceptions and lies that you currently rely on. Deep inside you at your core hidden from all these falsities is a beautiful and all powerful being that is waiting for you to remove the web of lies that you attempted to live to date.

Rene

 
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Posted by on March 7, 2012 in WISDOM

 

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