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Daily Archives: August 20, 2012

SEVERAL UNIVERISTY DEGREES COUNT FOR NOTHING

 

 

WORDS OF WISDOM FOR TODAY

 

I WILL PAY MORE FOR THE ABILITY TO DEAL WITH PEOPLE THAN FOR ANY OTHER ABILITY UNDER THE SUN

John D. Rockefeller

 

 

You can boast with several university degrees, have enough certificates to paper a wall and still make very little progress in your career or life in general. Your path through life will be difficult and cumbersome if you are unable to successfully master the art in dealing with people.

I walked out of a chemist a few weeks ago because a rude and obnoxious clown with very limited people skills tried to make me and a few other customers feel like idiots. His manager later tried to justify what happened. he mentioning that he has a very “dry type of humour” and that we possibly misread his intentions. I love people with a dry sense of humour, but I resent it when a person goes into the “parent – child” mode when he or she speak to me.

This man lacked a major tool when it comes to the ability to deal with people. He lacked the ability to listen. He completed your sentences for you and jumped to conclusions before you even got into your stride telling him what your needs are. I noticed that his desk was empty the next time I visited the chemist. I think he possibly took up a job with some second rate circus.

Everybody wants to be accepted, respected and appreciated. You will have a turbulent ride in life if you fail to grasp this important fact of life. I believe that when you use the right approach you are often allowed to enter the more private space in a person’s mind. Our minds are usually a place that is usually only reserved for a small number of friends and family. If ignore this important fact, you will remain an outsider and never achieve your desired objectives. People will not do business with you if you lack people skills. The last thing we need is to wrestle and stumble our way through a person’s sticky personality.

You can make major problems go away or double your income by simple sharpening up on your people skills. I want to give you a very valuable tip today. Treat people the same way you would like them to treat you. This simple lesson is worth its weight in gold. When you start treating people the way you expect them to treat you, you will be astounded how most of them will become more compassionate and flexible. Try to be as fair as possible when you deal with people. You will be richly rewarded if you develop a reputation that you are a fair person in everything you do. Make it easy for people to be with you and deal with you. The worst thing that you can ever do is to attempt to always win arguments and show people the error of their ways.

Rene

 

 

 
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Courage is not something that you are born with. Courage is simply to do what needs to be done regardless of the panic feelings.

 

 

 

The bravest thing you can do when you are not brave is to profess courage and act accordingly

 

Corra May White Haris

 

It may be difficult to accept that some singers, sport stars or public speakers suffer with fear and anxiety before they start their performances. Many of the most popular artists and sport stars still feel ill and shake with fear when they bounce onto the stage or into the arena to perform. They often hide their anxiety behind a brave smile and the artificially bolstered image that they project to their audiences. A friend told me that many of a newsreader’s heartbeats goes as high as two hundred beats a minute the moment when they cross over for the news. I have been giving motivational and educational speeches for half a lifetime and still feel tension when I walk to the podium.

It is a known fact that most people are afraid of public speaking. I can still remember a nightmare I had before I gave my first paid public speech. In this dream I saw how I made a complete fool of myself. I saw how I stuttered fumbled my way through the whole speech. I could see the shock on the audience’s faces. I even save a few at the back of the hall rolling with laughter. It took an iron will and a serious self-talk to prepare myself for my virgin paid performance.

The key to courage is to proceed and do what needs to be done notwithstanding the uncontrollable feelings that rush through your body and brain. The most difficult thing in overcoming fear is to activate action. Once you passed this hurdle the rest is usually much easier. I found when I play in an important rugby match that all the nervousness disappeared the moment I crossed the outside perimeter of the field.

Most champions feel just as much fear, anxiety and tension than we do, but they learned how to manage their fear. Courage is not something that you are born with. Courage is simply to do what needs to be done regardless of the panic feelings. You must take a firm step forward when your name is called. The key is to master the fear during the first critical moments. Once you get going nothing will ever stop you.

COURAGE IS THE FINAL TEST TO SEE IF YOU QUALIFY FOR THE BENEFITS THAT ARE USUALLY ONLY DISHED OUT TO THE BRAVE.

George Farquhar said, “Courage – an independent spark by which the soul stands raised. When you stand up against a bully and survive your moment of perceived madness, you feel proud of your achievement. When you tell you boss in no uncertain terms that you will no longer be his slave or allow his manipulation, you usually go home and feel proud of your fortitude. You might buy the evening newspaper on your way home so you can find a new job, but usually feel proud that you for once stood up for your rights.

Courage is not something that only some people are blessed with. Courage is simply as stated above an emotion that you need to overcome. I have seen how brave woman lay down their lives for their children. I have seen a wounded buffalo cow stand up to a lion to protect her calf. We all have courage that is stored deep inside our souls. It is there, waiting for you to discover and use it to your advantage.

You will not make much progress in the game of life if you lack courage and will power. The courageous always walk away with the best jobs, opportunities and benefits. They earn the biggest incomes. They are paid well because they mastered the enemy called fear. I am sharing their secret with you today. They are just as frightened as you are. They also taste the fear, but walk forward and face the fear until it loses its hold over them. It is a fallacy that they feel no fear. People that feel no fear in the face of adversity are usually idiots with a short lifespan.

Rene

 

 

 
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One of the main reasons why partners begin to hide stuff from each other.

 

 

Mutual respect developed in relationships ensures sustainability and good quality choices. The key is to create a platform where parties can talk openly, without fear about observations, experiences and feelings. I sometimes find it almost humorous to hear from friends how their partner went crazy, hyperventilated and pulled out clumps of hair from his or her scalp after they share some bad news with him or her. A few dramatic performances by your partner after you share less acceptable news with him or her usually convince you that this open and honest thing should be avoided at all cost. That is one of the main reasons why partners begin to hide stuff from each other. It might be a good idea to set down a few ground rules about this open and honest mode of operation before you agree to take it on board. You must build in an escape clause if your partner begins to show symptoms of a heart attack or start looking for a sharp knife in the kitchen. I am exaggerating, but hope that you will accept that some ground rules must be put in place if one or both of the partners feel that honesty is the best policy. The best rule is to agree that you will bring in a “time out” period when any of the partners move away from a rational and objective communication style. You may find that one partner insist while he or she is foaming at the mouth that you conclude whatever you are busy talking about. My friend, take time out, even if you must dodge a few “flying saucers” on your way to your workshop. No problem, relationship or dispute has ever been solved amicably while one or both of the parties work in “crazy” mode. Showing respect and compassion is impossible while you jump up and down like a clown or make noises like a wounded buffalo. I thus suggest that you set some “playing” rules in this regard and avoid any engagement while upset or angry. Remember the “time out” rule if you want to master the art of dispute management.

 

Rene

 

 

 
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Posted by on August 20, 2012 in WISDOM

 

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The Myth of the 8-hour Sleep

 

 

 

 

We often worry about lying awake in the middle of the night – but it could be good for you. A growing body of evidence from both science and history suggests that the eight-hour sleep may be unnatural.

In the early 1990s, psychiatrist Thomas Wehr conducted an experiment in which a group of people were plunged into darkness for 14 hours every day for a month.

It took some time for their sleep to regulate but by the fourth week the subjects settled into a very distinct sleeping pattern. They slept first for four hours, then woke for one or two hours before falling into a second four-hour sleep.

Though sleep scientists were impressed by the study, among the general public the idea that we must sleep for eight consecutive hours persists.

In 2001, historian Roger Ekirch of Virginia Tech published a seminal paper, drawn from 16 years of research, revealing a wealth of historical evidence that humans used to sleep in two distinct chunks.

His book At Day’s Close: Night in Times Past, published four years later, unearths more than 500 references to a segmented sleeping pattern – in diaries, court records, medical books and literature, from Homer’s Odyssey to an anthropological account of modern tribes in Nigeria.

Much like the experience of Wehr’s subjects, these references describe a first sleep which began about two hours after dusk, followed by waking period of one or two hours and then a second sleep.

“It’s not just the number of references – it is the way they refer to it, as if it was common knowledge,” Ekirch says.

During this waking period people were quite active. They often got up, went to the toilet or smoked tobacco and some even visited neighbours. Most people stayed in bed, read, wrote and often prayed. Countless prayer manuals from the late 15th Century offered special prayers for the hours in between sleeps.

And these hours weren’t entirely solitary – people often chatted to bed-fellows or had sex.

A doctor’s manual from 16th Century France even advised couples that the best time to conceive was not at the end of a long day’s labour but “after the first sleep”, when “they have more enjoyment” and “do it better”.

Ekirch found that references to the first and second sleep started to disappear during the late 17th Century. This started among the urban upper classes in northern Europe and over the course of the next 200 years filtered down to the rest of Western society.

By the 1920s the idea of a first and second sleep had receded entirely from our social consciousness.

He attributes the initial shift to improvements in street lighting, domestic lighting and a surge in coffee houses – which were sometimes open all night. As the night became a place for legitimate activity and as that activity increased, the length of time people could dedicate to rest dwindled.

In his new book, Evening’s Empire, historian Craig Koslofsky puts forward an account of how this happened.

“Associations with night before the 17th Century were not good,” he says. The night was a place populated by people of disrepute – criminals, prostitutes and drunks.

“Even the wealthy, who could afford candlelight, had better things to spend their money on. There was no prestige or social value associated with staying up all night.”

That changed in the wake of the Reformation and the counter-Reformation. Protestants and Catholics became accustomed to holding secret services at night, during periods of persecution. If earlier the night had belonged to reprobates, now respectable people became accustomed to exploiting the hours of darkness.

This trend migrated to the social sphere too, but only for those who could afford to live by candlelight. With the advent of street lighting, however, socialising at night began to filter down through the classes.

In 1667, Paris became the first city in the world to light its streets, using wax candles in glass lamps. It was followed by Lille in the same year and Amsterdam two years later, where a much more efficient oil-powered lamp was developed.
 

London didn’t join their ranks until 1684 but by the end of the century, more than 50 of Europe’s major towns and cities were lit at night.

Night became fashionable and spending hours lying in bed was considered a waste of time.

 

A small city like Leipzig in central Germany employed 100 men to tend to 700 lamps
 

“People were becoming increasingly time-conscious and sensitive to efficiency, certainly before the 19th Century,” says Roger Ekirch. “But the industrial revolution intensified that attitude by leaps and bounds.”

Strong evidence of this shifting attitude is contained in a medical journal from 1829 which urged parents to force their children out of a pattern of first and second sleep.

“If no disease or accident there intervene, they will need no further repose than that obtained in their first sleep, which custom will have caused to terminate by itself just at the usual hour.

“And then, if they turn upon their ear to take a second nap, they will be taught to look upon it as an intemperance not at all redounding to their credit.”

The Roots of Insomnia

Today, most people seem to have adapted quite well to the eight-hour sleep, but Ekirch believes many sleeping problems may have roots in the human body’s natural preference for segmented sleep as well as the ubiquity of artificial light.

This could be the root of a condition called sleep maintenance insomnia, where people wake during the night and have trouble getting back to sleep, he suggests.

The condition first appears in literature at the end of the 19th Century, at the same time as accounts of segmented sleep disappear.

“For most of evolution we slept a certain way,” says sleep psychologist Gregg Jacobs. “Waking up during the night is part of normal human physiology.”

The idea that we must sleep in a consolidated block could be damaging, he says, if it makes people who wake up at night anxious, as this anxiety can itself prohibit sleeps and is likely to seep into waking life too.

Russell Foster, a professor of circadian [body clock] neuroscience at Oxford, shares this point of view.

“Many people wake up at night and panic,” he says. “I tell them that what they are experiencing is a throwback to the bi-modal sleep pattern.”

But the majority of doctors still fail to acknowledge that a consolidated eight-hour sleep may be unnatural.

“Over 30% of the medical problems that doctors are faced with stem directly or indirectly from sleep. But sleep has been ignored in medical training and there are very few centres where sleep is studied,” he says.

Jacobs suggests that the waking period between sleeps, when people were forced into periods of rest and relaxation, could have played an important part in the human capacity to regulate stress naturally.

In many historic accounts, Ekirch found that people used the time to meditate on their dreams.

“Today we spend less time doing those things,” says Dr Jacobs. “It’s not a coincidence that, in modern life, the number of people who report anxiety, stress, depression, alcoholism and drug abuse has gone up.”

So the next time you wake up in the middle of the night, think of your pre-industrial ancestors and relax. Lying awake could be good for you.

 

By Stephanie Hegarty/ Source: BBC

 
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Posted by on August 20, 2012 in WISDOM

 

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