It is imperative to grasp as early as possible that you must believe in your own integrity, value and ability to make a difference. Most of us start life deluded and think that we are and will always be surrounded by individuals that will support us and that will be there for us when things fail to materialise as expected. Some of us discover early in life that real friends are rarer than virgins in a whore house. We discover that our so-called blood brothers and friends vanish like a fart in a thunder storm when things start going wrong for us. We should teach children that life is not fair and that they will more often than not work like a slave and get little or no rewards. Children must understand that life consist out of an endless range of challenges that will come at them like the waves of the ocean. We cannot give our children a bigger gift than the preparation needed to see things as they are (reality). True champions play to win, but also understand that it is silly to expect to win every time they go out to compete. The key to a long and successful career is fortitude. It is not how hard you get hit, but how many times you bounce back. We must train our children to see failure as stepping stones and not disasters. The biggest curse you can put on a child is to create the impression that everything will turn our ok if they try their best. You might be the best talented player that attempt to get into a team at school and still fail to find your name on the final team list. You may have failed to make the cut because a few other players have parents that make big donations to the school and play golf with the coach. The unprepared child is often destroyed long before he or she leave school. Unprepared children become disillusioned and some of them never recover. Look around you or do some research and you will discover that the real successful players in sport and the business world overcame serious adversity during their journey through life. There will be times in your life where you will face very testing times. You will yearn for support and understanding and discover that there is no one that is brave enough or loyal enough to come to your rescue. It is these critical moments, these dark nights of the soul that bring out the best in those with fortitude, courage and determination. Some of us understand that disaster can strike at any moment. We do not fear setbacks and disasters because we know that we can like so many times before overcome anything. Winners and true champions can get up and immediately start building on a new dream and a more exciting goal. The magic ingredient that so many lack in life is staying power and determination. This is the biggest blessing you can pass onto your children. The best way my friend to do this is to lead by example. Show your children that you are strong and courageous in the face of adversity.
Forget the self-help books. No book or person can promise you happiness.
.
Christmas time is the most likely time of the year to experience depression. We share our love with friends and family, and get lots of gifts. So why aren’t we all joyous? What the hell is going on?
Did you ever wonder why people like Elvis Presley and Michael Jackson didn’t fare any better than you or I despite all their money, fame, and access to people of wisdom?
The answer lies in your own backyard. Look at the shrubs, tangled with vines, with here and there a sumac jutting out from the maze. Look at the pines pressed against the shingles for want of more sunlight, their roots reaching under the house to the length of 20 feet. In an effort to maintain themselves, I have known willows near the foundation to break into the cellar pipes for want of water.
What is a tree, after all, but a trunk with so many roots and leaves bringing food and water to the organism? After billions of years of evolution, it was inevitable that life would acquire the ability to locomote, to hunt and see, to protect itself from competitors. Observe the ants in the woodpile. They can engage in combat just as resolutely as any human. Our guns and ICBMs are merely the jaws of a more clever ant.
The goal of life is life. Every impulse and thought is a device developed towards that end. Consider our own species. We hunt and gather, do the dishes, and have sex. By day and night, we are serenaded by the notes of Beethoven modulating over the trump of the bullfrogs and the songs of the mating bird. Even poetry and art reflect our humanity and are impelled by instincts – by forms of fear and powerlessness, of pugnacity and mastery, of association and love.
To many creatures there are but a few necessities of life: food, water, shelter. To a bumblebee, these are a few flowers full of nectar. Even humankind is led by these primary drives, although we have invented not only the house and clothing but fire to cook our food. What pains we take during the holidays, with our mincemeat pies and rum cakes. The poor are wont to complain that they have no food for their families, and we devote a great deal of our economy to agriculture and housing.
Of course, the effort for self-preservation is vague and varied. There is, for instance, the need for understanding and knowledge to guide our emotions, to tame the beast in our animal nature. What shameless and chaotic lives many of us would live if we were not awakened by better desires from within.
Our behavior is motivated by needs and wants. Pleasure and pain consist in the extent to which these desires are satisfied or hindered. “Pleasure” according to Spinoza, one of the greatest philosophers of all time “is man’s transition from a lesser state of perfection to a greater. Pain is man’s transition from a greater state of perfection to a lesser.”
Here is a goal – completeness and power – that is wonderfully attractive to us at a time of recession, and when many lack the means to feed and clothe themselves. And when we have found all power, we may not be happier for it. When we have overcome our struggles and have no ambitions and no defeats, what do we do next? Build taller and more splendid houses, weave finer clothing? Where does the power to act come from when desire has been quieted?
Have you ever wondered why every TV show, movie, and book has villains? Every writer knows that the good guy has to be threatened somehow, perhaps chased by someone with a gun or an ax. Even Cinderella had an evil stepmother and had to sit in the cinders after she finished her work. Meeting the Prince just wouldn’t have been the same if she had been a spoiled little rich girl.
The keenest pleasures are for those who experience the keenest pain.
You can’t change the equation of life. And remember, while the world is celebrating the holiday season, if you’re depressed and have the blues it’s just money in the bank. And when your turn comes, spend it on something that you will be proud of.
Robert Lanza, MD worked with (and published a series of scientific papers with) the late Harvard psychologist B.F. Skinner, the father of modern behaviorism. His new book – Biocentrism – lays out his theory of everything.
Very few people are prepared to pay the price in full for their hopes and dreams. They feel they achieved some kind of victory if they can get you to pay for their dreams and aspirations. Their friendships are often an empty and worthless network of people that parasite on each other. Their fake smiles and role played compassion is just as devoid of true feelings than the heart of a prostitute. Look around you and see if you can detect the good weather friends that sip your whisky and frequent your parties. We often join forces with others and hope that it will improve our situation. What we forget is that we frequently become more vulnerable because of the group dynamic. Your real test will one day come when you will discover who your real friends are. You will discover that most of your so-called dear friends will vanish like a fart in a thunderstorm when they discover that you can no longer be a donor that feed their emotional, financial or other needs.
The simple act of writing down small, medium, short and long term goals that include our personal, family and careers immediately make a huge difference in our life. Massive power rushes into your system the very moment that you write down a goal and start acting on it. The simple act of writing down your goals start a powerful engine in your energy field that will assist you to achieve virtually anything you have the guts to dream about. The goals that you penned and acted on cannot escape you. I dare you to be bold and to write down a single goal that you wish to achieve in the next seven days.
Write down something that you want to achieve, obtain, improve, repair or adjust within the next seven days. There is no need to write a business plan and work out every detail of the task you want to conclude. Decide for example that you want to get your roof repaired that has been leaking for a while. Take a clean sheet of paper and write at the top of the page, I am going to repair the leaking roof by next Friday. Most of us tend to “think”, “I must really find the time to repair that leaking roof”, but soon fall into a procrastination rut. We have good intentions, but allow a million and one things to side-track us. We find fancy justifications for our lack of action and can justify away our inability to get the job done in weird and wonderful ways. I can guarantee you that the moment you write down your objective and start taking action to make it a reality something awesome begin to happen in your interior. You will soon discover that ideas begin to flow into your life that will assist you to achieve your stated objectives.
Randomly write all ideas that come to mind underneath the goal that you wrote down earlier. Do not validate the ideas that come to mind. Write all of them down. Now select one of the ideas listed that might seem most feasible at the moment and take the necessary action to execute that specific idea. You will discover that the moment you have a goal and you begin to take action something amazing begins to happen. New ideas, new methods and individuals that might be able to assist you will suddenly appear in your life. Friends, family and even strangers will display a desire to assist you to achieve your desired objective that you wrote down earlier.
The most powerful way to develop your self-confidence is to stop looking at life through a “pink” filter system. You must see people, family, friends, strangers, business and religion in a realistic and stripped down manner. The first thing you need to do is to answer a very simple question. The question is – what is the real intention (agenda) of this person or institution? You need to dig deeper and uncover the real agendas and intentions, not the often bullshit masks and camouflage presented as bait. They for example might not really care as much as you think they do about saving your soul. Their real intention might be your money or the free hours you will spend “selling” their cause (books or ideologies etc.). That friendly politician might not care a fuck about you, your future or your family, but will tell you whatever you will be prepared to swallow to get your vote. I don’t want you to become paranoid and see a conspiracy in every shadow. All I am suggesting is that you make it your business to find the source reasons why a person, company etc. is attempting to connect with you or sustain their connection with you. You might think that this guy is buying you flowers and sending you romantic message on your phone because of your wonderful personality and blue eye. His only goal might be to get you into bed and chalk up one more victory in the pecker department. Awareness is the key to success. Ask questions and probe until you fully understand what or who you are dealing with. We need to become realistic if we want to uncover why we often end up the victim. The following might sound cynical, but you do not really have a massive supply of true friends that will die for you. Most friendships and for that matter even relationships are built on a parasitic* foundation. People feed from each other emotionally, physically and socially. You will often be dropped like a hot potato once you are depleted of whatever a person was feeding on. Set yourself free by expecting nothing from nobody. Appreciate life and your relationships on a moment to moment basis.
Rene
parasitic*
Usually, although parasites harm their hosts, it is in the parasite’s best interest not to kill the host, because it relies on the host’s body and body functions, such as digestion or blood circulation, to live.
Fall down seven times. Stand up eight. (Japanese proverb.)
Resilience is one of the greatest survival skills. It helps you both psychologically and physically in the long-run. While it can’t make your problems go away, it can help you endure any sort of hardship – like traumatic events, loss, illness, disaster, the death of a loved one, or any other setback or challenge.
Resilience is about enlisting your inner strengths, and harnessing your healthy coping mechanisms, so that you keep functioning without getting over-anxious, depressed, overwhelmed or apathetic.
Here are 8 tips to help you learn how to bounce back when some misfortune strikes, or when you are faced with a challenge:
Maintain your hopefulness. Even though the picture may look grim for now, think back to all the challenges that you have encountered and overcome in your life so far, to gain hope and optimism that a solution will be found and remember that any wound, no matter how big it seems right now, will heal in time.
Learn to be more stoical about life. Accept that unwanted events, sudden changes in circumstances are a part of life, and instead of clinging to your belief of how things “ought to be” learn to adapt, tolerate and even welcome your problems. Sometimes, problems are teachers and help us grow and become hardier and wiser.
Take some distance from the event, misfortune or challenge and try to view it as happening to someone else. How would you help that person cope? What would you advise him/her to do? Follow your own advice. There are many angles from which you can view a situation. Taking some distance, becoming an observer rather than a participant may give you the strength but also the problem-solving resources to overcome your challenge. Resilience requires flexibility, not holding onto rigidly to only one point of view.
Reach out to your friends or other support groups. You don’t have to go it alone. A friend’s advice, help or even willing ear or shoulder to cry on may help you re-organize better your inner resources. Feeling connected helps empower people in times of hardship. Offering help to others does the same. Help others in need, you will get empowered as much as they!
Take appropriate action.You don’t have to know the whole solution, you don’t have to examine all the parameters before you take some action in a positive direction. Small steps can help you greatly to feel that you are gaining control of the situation. Play it by ear for a while, test what works and what doesn’t.
Remember to laugh. Every challenge, every misfortune has its comical side. Use humor to lighten up. Think of how comedians can describe a tragic situation in ways that make you laugh. It’s a great coping mechanism, a relaxing break from serious thinking, worrying or grieving.
Don’t neglect yourself. Take good care of your nutrition, sleep, and home environment. Create relaxation time, see friends, do things that please you, like relaxing hobbies, or going to the gym.
Maintain your vision and sense of purpose. Setbacks create havoc, sometimes, emotional upheaval and tend to require all of our attention. We tend to obsess about our problem, as if it’s the only thing going on in our lives. It’s good to continue to keep in mind your long-term personal goals, visions, the things that make your life meaningful and focus back on all these areas that provided joy, hope and a sense of accomplishment before the upsetting event. It will help create a sense of balance in your life.
Finally, remember that “this too shall pass”. Repeating this often to yourself will have a soothing and healing effect and boost your resilience.
Think about your life for a moment. Are you exactly where you want to be? Are you doing work that you love? Are you free to travel when and where you wish? Are your relationships fulfilling? Are you financially free or are you tied to a job you hate?
Now answer this question for me: Do you want to know exactly why you are not living a life of ease, comfort, and happiness? Yes, of course you do. Pay close attention:
“The only reason you are not living the life of your dreams is because unconstructive beliefs were programmed into your mind as a child.”
Let me say it in a way that might be easier to understand: “The only reason you don’t have enough money is because you still believe the bullshit they taught you as a kid.”
That’s it… When you were young, you learned certain “facts” about life that became a part of your subconscious operating system. This system now automatically creates the life you are living. If you are not living exactly the life that you desire, then these beliefs need to be changed… it’s as simple as that.
Do you realize that you have been brainwashed?
Most people don’t want to hear this “inconvenient truth.” But most people are also living hopeless lives of quiet desperation. Not that there’s anything wrong with that… but I know that you are not like that. I doubt you would still be reading if you didn’t realize that you are capable of much, much more.
In fact, you HAVE been brainwashed. Of course, we are all brainwashed. Every single person on the planet is brainwashed with a certain set of beliefs which automatically operates his or her life.
Your parents, your teachers, your leaders, your culture, and your friends and family have all had a hand in creating exactly the set of beliefs you use to operate in your world.
Is this bad? Only if the beliefs you accepted as a child are not helping you now. Of course, if you are happy, healthy and successful then you have a subconscious operating system that works. Count your blessings and enjoy your life.
However, if there is some area of your life which you would like to change, then it is vital that you learn how to.
Let’s go back to the beginning. The REAL reason you don’t have enough money is because you believe something you learned as a child which is keeping you from having enough money. Perhaps your father told you that rich people are crooks. Well, of course you don’t want to be considered a crook in your father’s eyes, so you will never be rich. Your subconscious programming will make sure that you are never able to make money.
Or perhaps your parents always fought about money. What did your young mind learn? You learned that money causes trouble. You don’t want trouble, so you avoid money.
Or maybe you are spiritually inclined. But you were probably taught that “money is the root of all evil.” And you don’t want to be evil, do you? So what happens in your inner programming? It will automatically sabotage your attempts to get money, in order to “protect” you from being evil.
You need to stop living your life having regrets for things in your past. Constantly thinking about events from your past that you aren’t proud of, mistakes you may have made in your relationships, or things you “should have” done isn’t going to make your future any better. You need to accept where you are in your life for what it is, and learn from your “mistakes”. No matter how bad you view something from your past to be, take the time to really find something positive from it. Look hard. There is something there.
Things are going to happen to you. They happen to everybody. It’s how you deal with them that allows you to grow as a person and an overall happier human being. If you’re able to find just one positive from an event, you will grow. Consider this example:
Say you’re in college and your friends invite you out for a few beers. However, you have a big exam the next day. You’ve studied for weeks and are certain of all the material that’s going to be on the exam. You decide to go because you heard that cute guy or girl you’ve had your eye on is going to be there. You have a few beers and finally get the courage to do some flirting. After a few more beers, you’re pretty drunk and decide you need to go home. You catch a few hours sleep and take your exam. Long story short, you fail the exam because you made a bad decision to go out the night before. You feel complete disappointment in yourself, which you should. However, instead of moping around about it, learn from your mistake and move on with your life. Realize that your hard work doesn’t pay off unless you complete the project. Studying for weeks for the exam was wasted for a night out of fun. Learn what you need to do to accomplish the goals you set out for yourself, and stay disciplined until you have successfully completed what you set out to do.
To take that first move toward to a new positive way of pursuing life, try the following:
Make a list of the events from your life that you continue to dwell on and can’t seem to let go of.
For each event, write down what your mistake was, what you learned from this mistake, and something positive you have today because of the situation.
Let go of it!
If you are able to release the binds of the past and start to live for today, you will start to feel a happiness that is very rewarding. What’s in the past, is in the past. It cannot be undone. Apply your energy to today and appreciate the life that you have.
The most powerful way to develop your self-confidence is to stop looking at life through a “pink” filter system. You must see people, family, friends, strangers, business and religion in a realistic and stripped down manner. The first thing you need to do is to answer a very simple question. The question is – what is the real intention (agenda) of this person or institution? You need to dig deeper and uncover the real agendas and intentions, not the often bullshit masks and camouflage presented as bait. They for example might not really care as much as you think they do about saving your soul. Their real intention might be your money or the free hours you will spend “selling” their cause (books or ideologies etc.). That friendly politician might not care a fuck about you, your future or your family, but will tell you whatever you will be prepared to swallow to get your vote. I don’t want you to become paranoid and see a conspiracy in every shadow. All I am suggesting is that you make it your business to find the source reasons why a person, company etc. is attempting to connect with you or sustain their connection with you. You might think that this guy is buying you flowers and sending you romantic message on your phone because of your wonderful personality and blue eye. His only goal might be to get you into bed and chalk up one more victory in the pecker department. Awareness is the key to success. Ask questions and probe until you fully understand what or who you are dealing with. We need to become realistic if we want to uncover why we often end up the victim. The following might sound cynical, but you do not really have a massive supply of true friends that will die for you. Most friendships and for that matter even relationships are built on a parasitic* foundation. People feed from each other emotionally, physically and socially. You will often be dropped like a hot potato once you are depleted of whatever a person was feeding on. Set yourself free by expecting nothing from nobody. Appreciate life and your relationships on a moment to moment basis.
Rene
parasitic*
Usually, although parasites harm their hosts, it is in the parasite’s best interest not to kill the host, because it relies on the host’s body and body functions, such as digestion or blood circulation, to live.
It is imperative to grasp as early as possible that you must believe in your own integrity, value and ability to make a difference. Most of us start life deluded and think that we are and will always be surrounded by individuals that will support us and that will be there for us when things fail to materialise as expected. Some of us discover early in life that real friends are rarer than virgins in a whore house. We discover that our so-called blood brothers and friends vanish like a fart in a thunder storm when things start going wrong for us. We should teach children that life is not fair and that they will more often than not work like a slave and get little or no rewards. Children must understand that life consist out of an endless range of challenges that will come at them like the waves of the ocean. We cannot give our children a bigger gift than the preparation needed to see things as they are (reality). True champions play to win, but also understand that it is silly to expect to win every time they go out to compete. The key to a long and successful career is fortitude. It is not how hard you get hit, but how many times you bounce back. We must train our children to see failure as stepping stones and not disasters. The biggest curse you can put on a child is to create the impression that everything will turn our ok if they try their best. You might be the best talented player that attempt to get into a team at school and still fail to find your name on the final team list. You may have failed to make the cut because a few other players have parents that make big donations to the school and play golf with the coach. The unprepared child is often destroyed long before he or she leave school. Unprepared children become disillusioned and some of them never recover. Look around you or do some research and you will discover that the real successful players in sport and the business world overcame serious adversity during their journey through life. There will be times in your life where you will face very testing times. You will yearn for support and understanding and discover that there is no one that is brave enough or loyal enough to come to your rescue. It is these critical moments, these dark nights of the soul that bring out the best in those with fortitude, courage and determination. Some of us understand that disaster can strike at any moment. We do not fear setbacks and disasters because we know that we can like so many times before overcome anything. Winners and true champions can get up and immediately start building on a new dream and a more exciting goal. The magic ingredient that so many lack in life is staying power and determination. This is the biggest blessing you can pass onto your children. The best way my friend to do this is to lead by example. Show your children that you are strong and courageous in the face of adversity.
TRUE COURAGE IS TO DO WITHOUT WITNESSES EVERYTHING THAT ONE IS CAPABLE OF DOING BEFORE THE ENTIRE WORLD!
La Rochefoucauld
.
I have had many friends that found it impossible to stop being the doctor, professor or managing director when they arrive home or came for a visit. The same “management tools” that they used at their offices they continued to use at home and in their private lives. They found it impossible to adjust roles when they arrived home or mixed with friends and family.
They expected their families to “consult” with them. They expected their family or friends to continuously “earn” their love. They never really dropped their pose. I got the feeling that they were afraid that they might not be accepted, respected and loved without their title. They become the piece of paper (certificate) that decorates their wall or the position they held in their offices. Without their title or money they felt invisible and powerless. I can still remember a person that held a virtual celebrity status in the community and how he fell apart when he lost his job and title as “Metropolitan Chief Security Officer”. He deflated like a beach ball that sprung a major leak. His “Mr. Big image disappeared overnight. He changed from a leader to a stuttering insecure follower. He lost his imposing and dominating figure and even looked smaller with his bowed shoulders. It was pathetic to see this person fade away when he lost his uniform and title.
It takes real courage to just be you on all occasions. The best doctors do not float around in a God like manner. They are usually warm, kind, empathetic and compassionate people. They are effective and highly professional and only wear masks when they operate. Don’t get me wrong. I do not say that a person that is just himself goes around with a frozen smile on his face all the time. He is also not in a good mood all the time. He is simply a “What you see is what you get.” kind of person.
I WILL BE THE BEST ME AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT IN TIME. I WILL NOT “ROLE PLAY” FOR ANYBODY. PEOPLE WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER ME AS A “WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET” PERSON
People play very complicated games with each other. Man is the most devious of all creations. They can change shape, loyalty, form and colour like chameleons. They have a mask for most occasions. Most people position themselves so they can get the best deal for themselves possible from every encounter. A fool convinces himself that friends, family and even strangers have their best interest at heart.
Life is not a popularity contest. When you start living your life without fear of rejection or loss you gain real power. When you can be you, wherever you go you have reached full maturity. When you meet a person that can be honest without a police officer looking over his shoulder, you have met a person of integrity. When you have a worker that can give you an honest days work without constant supervision you have met a person with integrity. It is easy to say and do the right things when you are in the public eye, but to sustain deliberate and honest action when you are out of the spotlight shows real character. Just be you. If someone does not like who you are it is his or her problem. You can only live a stress free life if you love your fear of failure.
The most powerful way to develop your self-confidence is to stop looking at life through a “pink” filter system. You must see people, family, friends, strangers, business and religion in a realistic and stripped down manner. The first thing you need to do is to answer a very simple question. The question is – what is the real intention (agenda) of this person or institution? You need to dig deeper and uncover the real agendas and intentions, not the often bullshit masks and camouflage presented as bait. They for example might not really care as much as you think they do about saving your soul. Their real intention might be your money or the free hours you will spend “selling” their cause (books or ideologies etc.). That friendly politician might not care a fuck about you, your future or your family, but will tell you whatever you will be prepared to swallow to get your vote. I don’t want you to become paranoid and see a conspiracy in every shadow. All I am suggesting is that you make it your business to find the source reasons why a person, company etc. is attempting to connect with you or sustain their connection with you. You might think that this guy is buying you flowers and sending you romantic message on your phone because of your wonderful personality and blue eye. His only goal might be to get you into bed and chalk up one more victory in the pecker department. Awareness is the key to success. Ask questions and probe until you fully understand what or who you are dealing with. We need to become realistic if we want to uncover why we often end up the victim. The following might sound cynical, but you do not really have a massive supply of true friends that will die for you. Most friendships and for that matter even relationships are built on a parasitic* foundation. People feed from each other emotionally, physically and socially. You will often be dropped like a hot potato once you are depleted of whatever a person was feeding on. Set yourself free by expecting nothing from nobody. Appreciate life and your relationships on a moment to moment basis.
Rene
.
parasitic
Usually, although parasites harm their hosts, it is in the parasite’s best interest not to kill the host, because it relies on the host’s body and body functions, such as digestion or blood circulation, to live.
Forget the self-help books. No book or person can promise you happiness.
.
Christmas time is the most likely time of the year to experience depression. We share our love with friends and family, and get lots of gifts. So why aren’t we all joyous? What the hell is going on?
Did you ever wonder why people like Elvis Presley and Michael Jackson didn’t fare any better than you or I despite all their money, fame, and access to people of wisdom?
The answer lies in your own backyard. Look at the shrubs, tangled with vines, with here and there a sumac jutting out from the maze. Look at the pines pressed against the shingles for want of more sunlight, their roots reaching under the house to the length of 20 feet. In an effort to maintain themselves, I have known willows near the foundation to break into the cellar pipes for want of water.
What is a tree, after all, but a trunk with so many roots and leaves bringing food and water to the organism? After billions of years of evolution, it was inevitable that life would acquire the ability to locomote, to hunt and see, to protect itself from competitors. Observe the ants in the woodpile. They can engage in combat just as resolutely as any human. Our guns and ICBMs are merely the jaws of a more clever ant.
The goal of life is life. Every impulse and thought is a device developed towards that end. Consider our own species. We hunt and gather, do the dishes, and have sex. By day and night, we are serenaded by the notes of Beethoven modulating over the trump of the bullfrogs and the songs of the mating bird. Even poetry and art reflect our humanity and are impelled by instincts – by forms of fear and powerlessness, of pugnacity and mastery, of association and love.
To many creatures there are but a few necessities of life: food, water, shelter. To a bumblebee, these are a few flowers full of nectar. Even humankind is led by these primary drives, although we have invented not only the house and clothing but fire to cook our food. What pains we take during the holidays, with our mincemeat pies and rum cakes. The poor are wont to complain that they have no food for their families, and we devote a great deal of our economy to agriculture and housing.
Of course, the effort for self-preservation is vague and varied. There is, for instance, the need for understanding and knowledge to guide our emotions, to tame the beast in our animal nature. What shameless and chaotic lives many of us would live if we were not awakened by better desires from within.
Our behavior is motivated by needs and wants. Pleasure and pain consist in the extent to which these desires are satisfied or hindered. “Pleasure” according to Spinoza, one of the greatest philosophers of all time “is man’s transition from a lesser state of perfection to a greater. Pain is man’s transition from a greater state of perfection to a lesser.”
Here is a goal – completeness and power – that is wonderfully attractive to us at a time of recession, and when many lack the means to feed and clothe themselves. And when we have found all power, we may not be happier for it. When we have overcome our struggles and have no ambitions and no defeats, what do we do next? Build taller and more splendid houses, weave finer clothing? Where does the power to act come from when desire has been quieted?
Have you ever wondered why every TV show, movie, and book has villains? Every writer knows that the good guy has to be threatened somehow, perhaps chased by someone with a gun or an ax. Even Cinderella had an evil stepmother and had to sit in the cinders after she finished her work. Meeting the Prince just wouldn’t have been the same if she had been a spoiled little rich girl.
The keenest pleasures are for those who experience the keenest pain.
You can’t change the equation of life. And remember, while the world is celebrating the holiday season, if you’re depressed and have the blues it’s just money in the bank. And when your turn comes, spend it on something that you will be proud of.
Robert Lanza, MD worked with (and published a series of scientific papers with) the late Harvard psychologist B.F. Skinner, the father of modern behaviorism. His new book – Biocentrism – lays out his theory of everything.
The simple act of writing down small, medium, short and long term goals that include our personal, family and careers immediately make a huge difference in our life. Massive power rushes into your system the very moment that you write down a goal and start acting on it. The simple act of writing down your goals start a powerful engine in your energy field that will assist you to achieve virtually anything you have the guts to dream about. The goals that you penned and acted on cannot escape you. I dare you to be bold and to write down a single goal that you wish to achieve in the next seven days.
Write down something that you want to achieve, obtain, improve, repair or adjust within the next seven days. There is no need to write a business plan and work out every detail of the task you want to conclude. Decide for example that you want to get your roof repaired that has been leaking for a while. Take a clean sheet of paper and write at the top of the page, I am going to repair the leaking roof by next Friday. Most of us tend to “think”, “I must really find the time to repair that leaking roof”, but soon fall into a procrastination rut. We have good intentions, but allow a million and one things to side-track us. We find fancy justifications for our lack of action and can justify away our inability to get the job done in weird and wonderful ways. I can guarantee you that the moment you write down your objective and start taking action to make it a reality something awesome begin to happen in your interior. You will soon discover that ideas begin to flow into your life that will assist you to achieve your stated objectives.
Randomly write all ideas that come to mind underneath the goal that you wrote down earlier. Do not validate the ideas that come to mind. Write all of them down. Now select one of the ideas listed that might seem most feasible at the moment and take the necessary action to execute that specific idea. You will discover that the moment you have a goal and you begin to take action something amazing begins to happen. New ideas, new methods and individuals that might be able to assist you will suddenly appear in your life. Friends, family and even strangers will display a desire to assist you to achieve your desired objective that you wrote down earlier.
The most powerful way to develop your self-confidence is to stop looking at life through a “pink” filter system. You must see people, family, friends, strangers, business and religion in a realistic and stripped down manner. The first thing you need to do is to answer a very simple question. The question is – what is the real intention (agenda) of this person or institution? You need to dig deeper and uncover the real agendas and intentions, not the often bullshit masks and camouflage presented as bait. They for example might not really care as much as you think they do about saving your soul. Their real intention might be your money or the free hours you will spend “selling” their cause (books or ideologies etc.). That friendly politician might not care a fuck about you, your future or your family, but will tell you whatever you will be prepared to swallow to get your vote. I don’t want you to become paranoid and see a conspiracy in every shadow. All I am suggesting is that you make it your business to find the source reasons why a person, company etc. is attempting to connect with you or sustain their connection with you. You might think that this guy is buying you flowers and sending you romantic message on your phone because of your wonderful personality and blue eye. His only goal might be to get you into bed and chalk up one more victory in the pecker department. Awareness is the key to success. Ask questions and probe until you fully understand what or who you are dealing with. We need to become realistic if we want to uncover why we often end up the victim. The following might sound cynical, but you do not really have a massive supply of true friends that will die for you. Most friendships and for that matter even relationships are built on a parasitic* foundation. People feed from each other emotionally, physically and socially. You will often be dropped like a hot potato once you are depleted of whatever a person was feeding on. Set yourself free by expecting nothing from nobody. Appreciate life and your relationships on a moment to moment basis.
Rene
parasitic*
Usually, although parasites harm their hosts, it is in the parasite’s best interest not to kill the host, because it relies on the host’s body and body functions, such as digestion or blood circulation, to live.
Please pause for a moment when you notice the“PAUSE” request before you continue. Think how what you just read can assist you with a specific set of circumstances that you are faced with. Think what changes can come about if you applied what you learned here in your relationships, work or with your family and friends. You will be astounded how much value you get from the material when you PAUSE for a few moments, take a small break and apply what I requested above. Do you have a train or bus to catch or do you tend to rush through life with your eyes so fixed on the potential outcomes that you forget to enjoy the journey?
An energy bubble surrounds each one of us. This energy field is charged by your predominant focus at any given moment in time. People can sense when anger, grief or revengeful thoughts are trapped in this energy field. You need to sanitise this invisible energy bubble that accompanies you wherever you go if you want to improve your health or lifestyle. Letting go of the past is a good place to start. The key to a clear energy field is forgiveness. Not only forgiveness of others, but of yourself.
PAUSE
Anticipation is a powerful force. Never show all your cards while the game is still in progress. The game of life is like a chess game. You must mentally always be a few moves ahead of your opponents.
PAUSE
Anticipation is vital to your survival. If you fail to anticipate what the implications of a current action or decision could be, you are putting yourself at great risk. The wise man reads people and events and anticipates their next few moves. He is not paranoid, but vigilant and wise.
PAUSE
Anticipation is what fuels the champions of life. If you lose your ability to dream, you lose your zest for life. If all your anticipation is suddenly removed, you will go into shock. Most people do not only anticipate the future, but also make the mistake of mentally living there. Anticipate the future, but live in the now if you want to experience true happiness.
PAUSE
Appear uncertain if you need other’s support, compassion and understanding. Ask for assistance in a clear and precise manner. Tell it like it is. Why continue hiding behind masks and facades? Get your ego out of the way and reveal your needs in an open and sincere manner. What is the worst that can happen? You have nothing to lose, but everything to gain.
PAUSE
Appreciation is the key to understanding. Only when we learn to appreciate what we have will more value be added to our lives. Gratitude and appreciation are the two most neglected emotions in society today. You can never be happy or achieve piece of mind if you lack these vital components.
PAUSE
Are you a person that enjoys making an issue out of everything? When you oppose something, you stop the natural flow of things. When you continually question and dig for potential flaws it usually disturbs the natural rhythm and flow of events. You need to find a balance between being a pain in the backside and a people pleaser.
PAUSE
Ask for reconsideration when things fail to work out as anticipated. Any softening in judgement will be a bonus. Any drop in price will put money in your pocket. Only the less informed will walk away without giving it his best shot. Nothing in life is easy. If you really want something, then fight for it.
It is imperative to grasp as early as possible that you must believe in your own integrity, value and ability to make a difference. Most of us start life deluded and think that we are and will always be surrounded by individuals that will support us and that will be there for us when things fail to materialise as expected. Some of us discover early in life that real friends are rarer than virgins in a whore house. We discover that our so-called blood brothers and friends vanish like a fart in a thunder storm when things start going wrong for us. We should teach children that life is not fair and that they will more often than not work like a slave and get little or no rewards. Children must understand that life consist out of an endless range of challenges that will come at them like the waves of the ocean. We cannot give our children a bigger gift than the preparation needed to see things as they are (reality). True champions play to win, but also understand that it is silly to expect to win every time they go out to compete. The key to a long and successful career is fortitude. It is not how hard you get hit, but how many times you bounce back. We must train our children to see failure as stepping stones and not disasters. The biggest curse you can put on a child is to create the impression that everything will turn our ok if they try their best. You might be the best talented player that attempt to get into a team at school and still fail to find your name on the final team list. You may have failed to make the cut because a few other players have parents that make big donations to the school and play golf with the coach. The unprepared child is often destroyed long before he or she leave school. Unprepared children become disillusioned and some of them never recover. Look around you or do some research and you will discover that the real successful players in sport and the business world overcame serious adversity during their journey through life. There will be times in your life where you will face very testing times. You will yearn for support and understanding and discover that there is no one that is brave enough or loyal enough to come to your rescue. It is these critical moments, these dark nights of the soul that bring out the best in those with fortitude, courage and determination. Some of us understand that disaster can strike at any moment. We do not fear setbacks and disasters because we know that we can like so many times before overcome anything. Winners and true champions can get up and immediately start building on a new dream and a more exciting goal. The magic ingredient that so many lack in life is staying power and determination. This is the biggest blessing you can pass onto your children. The best way my friend to do this is to lead by example. Show your children that you are strong and courageous in the face of adversity.
Fall down seven times. Stand up eight. (Japanese proverb.)
Resilience is one of the greatest survival skills. It helps you both psychologically and physically in the long-run. While it can’t make your problems go away, it can help you endure any sort of hardship – like traumatic events, loss, illness, disaster, the death of a loved one, or any other setback or challenge.
Resilience is about enlisting your inner strengths, and harnessing your healthy coping mechanisms, so that you keep functioning without getting over-anxious, depressed, overwhelmed or apathetic.
Here are 8 tips to help you learn how to bounce back when some misfortune strikes, or when you are faced with a challenge:
Maintain your hopefulness. Even though the picture may look grim for now, think back to all the challenges that you have encountered and overcome in your life so far, to gain hope and optimism that a solution will be found and remember that any wound, no matter how big it seems right now, will heal in time.
Learn to be more stoical about life. Accept that unwanted events, sudden changes in circumstances are a part of life, and instead of clinging to your belief of how things “ought to be” learn to adapt, tolerate and even welcome your problems. Sometimes, problems are teachers and help us grow and become hardier and wiser.
Take some distance from the event, misfortune or challenge and try to view it as happening to someone else. How would you help that person cope? What would you advise him/her to do? Follow your own advice. There are many angles from which you can view a situation. Taking some distance, becoming an observer rather than a participant may give you the strength but also the problem-solving resources to overcome your challenge. Resilience requires flexibility, not holding onto rigidly to only one point of view.
Reach out to your friends or other support groups. You don’t have to go it alone. A friend’s advice, help or even willing ear or shoulder to cry on may help you re-organize better your inner resources. Feeling connected helps empower people in times of hardship. Offering help to others does the same. Help others in need, you will get empowered as much as they!
Take appropriate action.You don’t have to know the whole solution, you don’t have to examine all the parameters before you take some action in a positive direction. Small steps can help you greatly to feel that you are gaining control of the situation. Play it by ear for a while, test what works and what doesn’t.
Remember to laugh. Every challenge, every misfortune has its comical side. Use humor to lighten up. Think of how comedians can describe a tragic situation in ways that make you laugh. It’s a great coping mechanism, a relaxing break from serious thinking, worrying or grieving.
Don’t neglect yourself. Take good care of your nutrition, sleep, and home environment. Create relaxation time, see friends, do things that please you, like relaxing hobbies, or going to the gym.
Maintain your vision and sense of purpose. Setbacks create havoc, sometimes, emotional upheaval and tend to require all of our attention. We tend to obsess about our problem, as if it’s the only thing going on in our lives. It’s good to continue to keep in mind your long-term personal goals, visions, the things that make your life meaningful and focus back on all these areas that provided joy, hope and a sense of accomplishment before the upsetting event. It will help create a sense of balance in your life.
Finally, remember that “this too shall pass”. Repeating this often to yourself will have a soothing and healing effect and boost your resilience.
Mutual respect developed in relationships ensures sustainability and good quality choices. The key is to create a platform where parties can talk openly, without fear about observations, experiences and feelings. I sometimes find it almost humorous to hear from friends how their partner went crazy, hyperventilated and pulled out clumps of hair from his or her scalp after they shared some bad news with him or her. A few dramatic performances by your partner after you shared less acceptable news with him/her usually convince you that this open and honest thing should be avoided at all cost. That is one of the main reasons why partners begin to hide stuff from each other. It might be a good idea to set down a few ground rules about this open and honest mode of operation before you agree to take it on board. You must build in an escape clause if your partner begins to show symptoms of a heart attack or start looking for a sharp knife in the kitchen. I am exaggerating, but hope that you will accept that some ground rules must be put in place if one or both of the partners feel that honesty is the best policy. The best rule is to agree that you will bring in a “time out” period when any of the partners move away from a rational and objective communication style. You may find that one partner insist while he or she is foaming at the mouth that you conclude whatever you are busy talking about. My friend, take time out, even if you must dodge a few “flying saucers” on your way to your workshop. No problem, relationship or dispute has ever been solved amicably while one or both of the parties work in “crazy” mode. Showing respect and compassion is impossible while you jump up and down like a clown or make noises like a wounded buffalo. I thus suggest that you set some “playing” rules in this regard and avoid any engagement while upset or angry. Remember the “time out” rule if you want to master the art of dispute management.
TRUE COURAGE IS TO DO WITHOUT WITNESSES EVERYTHING THAT ONE IS CAPABLE OF DOING BEFORE THE ENTIRE WORLD!
La Rochefoucauld
.
I have had many friends that found it impossible to stop being the doctor, professor or managing director when they arrive home or came for a visit. The same “management tools” that they used at their offices they continued to use at home and in their private lives. They found it impossible to adjust roles when they arrived home or mixed with friends and family.
They expected their families to “consult” with them. They expected their family or friends to continuously “earn” their love. They never really dropped their pose. I got the feeling that they were afraid that they might not be accepted, respected and loved without their title. They become the piece of paper (certificate) that decorates their wall or the position they held in their offices. Without their title or money they felt invisible and powerless. I can still remember a person that held a virtual celebrity status in the community and how he fell apart when he lost his job and title as “Metropolitan Chief Security Officer”. He deflated like a beach ball that sprung a major leak. His “Mr. Big image disappeared overnight. He changed from a leader to a stuttering insecure follower. He lost his imposing and dominating figure and even looked smaller with his bowed shoulders. It was pathetic to see this person fade away when he lost his uniform and title.
It takes real courage to just be you on all occasions. The best doctors do not float around in a God like manner. They are usually warm, kind, empathetic and compassionate people. They are effective and highly professional and only wear masks when they operate. Don’t get me wrong. I do not say that a person that is just himself goes around with a frozen smile on his face all the time. He is also not in a good mood all the time. He is simply a “What you see is what you get.” kind of person.
I WILL BE THE BEST ME AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT IN TIME. I WILL NOT “ROLE PLAY” FOR ANYBODY. PEOPLE WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER ME AS A “WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET” PERSON
People play very complicated games with each other. Man is the most devious of all creations. They can change shape, loyalty, form and colour like chameleons. They have a mask for most occasions. Most people position themselves so they can get the best deal for themselves possible from every encounter. A fool convinces himself that friends, family and even strangers have their best interest at heart.
Life is not a popularity contest. When you start living your life without fear of rejection or loss you gain real power. When you can be you, wherever you go you have reached full maturity. When you meet a person that can be honest without a police officer looking over his shoulder, you have met a person of integrity. When you have a worker that can give you an honest days work without constant supervision you have met a person with integrity. It is easy to say and do the right things when you are in the public eye, but to sustain deliberate and honest action when you are out of the spotlight shows real character. Just be you. If someone does not like who you are it is his or her problem. You can only live a stress free life if you love your fear of failure.
PLEASE PASS MY LINK TO AS MANY OF YOUR FRIENDS, FAMILY ETC. IF YOU ENJOY THE WIDE RANGE OF SUBJECT MATTER THAT YOU ARE EXPOSED TO DAILY IN THE READING ROOM. PROVIDE YOUR FRIENDS ETC. THE OPPORTUNITY TO DIG DEEPER AND ASK MORE QUESTIONS ABOUT THE WIDE RANGE OF CHALLENGES THAT WE ARE FACED WITH TODAY. I WANT TO THANK THE MANY READERS THAT ALREADY VISIT THE READING ROOM DAILY. YOU ARE SPECIAL MY FRIENDS! LOOK AROUND YOU AND YOU WILL NOTICE THAT VERY FEW PEOPLE ARE BOLD AND BRAVE ENOUGH TO SAY, “THERE MUST BE MORE TO LIFE!” “I AM GOING TO MAKE IT MY MISSION TO DAILY LEARN MORE AND DO MORE TO MASTER THIS THING CALLED LIFE.”
Think about your life for a moment. Are you exactly where you want to be? Are you doing work that you love? Are you free to travel when and where you wish? Are your relationships fulfilling? Are you financially free or are you tied to a job you hate?
Now answer this question for me: Do you want to know exactly why you are not living a life of ease, comfort, and happiness? Yes, of course you do. Pay close attention:
“The only reason you are not living the life of your dreams is because unconstructive beliefs were programmed into your mind as a child.”
Let me say it in a way that might be easier to understand: “The only reason you don’t have enough money is because you still believe the bullshit they taught you as a kid.”
That’s it… When you were young, you learned certain “facts” about life that became a part of your subconscious operating system. This system now automatically creates the life you are living. If you are not living exactly the life that you desire, then these beliefs need to be changed… it’s as simple as that.
Do you realize that you have been brainwashed?
Most people don’t want to hear this “inconvenient truth.” But most people are also living hopeless lives of quiet desperation. Not that there’s anything wrong with that… but I know that you are not like that. I doubt you would still be reading if you didn’t realize that you are capable of much, much more.
In fact, you HAVE been brainwashed. Of course, we are all brainwashed. Every single person on the planet is brainwashed with a certain set of beliefs which automatically operates his or her life.
Your parents, your teachers, your leaders, your culture, and your friends and family have all had a hand in creating exactly the set of beliefs you use to operate in your world.
Is this bad? Only if the beliefs you accepted as a child are not helping you now. Of course, if you are happy, healthy and successful then you have a subconscious operating system that works. Count your blessings and enjoy your life.
However, if there is some area of your life which you would like to change, then it is vital that you learn how to.
Let’s go back to the beginning. The REAL reason you don’t have enough money is because you believe something you learned as a child which is keeping you from having enough money. Perhaps your father told you that rich people are crooks. Well, of course you don’t want to be considered a crook in your father’s eyes, so you will never be rich. Your subconscious programming will make sure that you are never able to make money.
Or perhaps your parents always fought about money. What did your young mind learn? You learned that money causes trouble. You don’t want trouble, so you avoid money.
Or maybe you are spiritually inclined. But you were probably taught that “money is the root of all evil.” And you don’t want to be evil, do you? So what happens in your inner programming? It will automatically sabotage your attempts to get money, in order to “protect” you from being evil.
The most powerful way to develop your self-confidence is to stop looking at life through a “pink” filter system. You must see people, family, friends, strangers, business and religion in a realistic and stripped down manner. The first thing you need to do is to answer a very simple question. The question is – what is the real intention (agenda) of this person or institution? You need to dig deeper and uncover the real agendas and intentions, not the often bullshit masks and camouflage presented as bait. They for example might not really care as much as you think they do about saving your soul. Their real intention might be your money or the free hours you will spend “selling” their cause (books or ideologies etc.). That friendly politician might not care a fuck about you, your future or your family, but will tell you whatever you will be prepared to swallow to get your vote. I don’t want you to become paranoid and see a conspiracy in every shadow. All I am suggesting is that you make it your business to find the source reasons why a person, company etc. is attempting to connect with you or sustain their connection with you. You might think that this guy is buying you flowers and sending you romantic message on your phone because of your wonderful personality and blue eye. His only goal might be to get you into bed and chalk up one more victory in the pecker department. Awareness is the key to success. Ask questions and probe until you fully understand what or who you are dealing with. We need to become realistic if we want to uncover why we often end up the victim. The following might sound cynical, but you do not really have a massive supply of true friends that will die for you. Most friendships and for that matter even relationships are built on a parasitic* foundation. People feed from each other emotionally, physically and socially. You will often be dropped like a hot potato once you are depleted of whatever a person was feeding on. Set yourself free by expecting nothing from nobody. Appreciate life and your relationships on a moment to moment basis.
Rene
parasitic
Usually, although parasites harm their hosts, it is in the parasite’s best interest not to kill the host, because it relies on the host’s body and body functions, such as digestion or blood circulation, to live.
There are many of us that find it difficult to grasp why virtually everything we do often turn to mud. I know friends that can write elaborate books on their experiences with failed ventures or a range of never ending projects that always ended up a disaster. Their initial enthusiasm with a new venture, relationship or experience almost always rapidly fades like the mist in the morning sun. They can corner you and explain to you for hours how life is out to get them. You can see from their facial expressions and hear from their tone of voice that they are well versed in the “I am a victim” roles that they play like mediocre actors in a low budget movie. When you go around with a spirit of RESISTANCE you operate on a frequency level that draw in a stream of problems and challenges that match your frame of mind. There are many that hobble around with an endless range of symptoms that they claim make them feel sick most of the time. The spirit of RESISTANCE used by these potential hypochondriacs give them what they perceived legitimate excuses to remain in a NON-ACTION state. They endlessly visit doctors and alternative healers, but usually suffer a relapse the moment there are signs of improvement. Your enthusiasm is nullified when you use this handy tool supplied by the spirit of RESISTANCE. The attention that this type of individual get from family, friends and even strangers nullify any obligation that they might have to do a solid day’s work or fulfil their role as a partner, mother, father or student. They think that you are a heartless bastard if you expect them to work with their excruciating headaches that come on soon after lunch daily. Don’t get me wrong. Not everyone that applies this method is a hypochondriac or a person that yearns for attention. I suggest that you find a good doctor and get yourself sorted out if there is something that is bothering you. Accept the doctor’s diagnoses. Do not hop from doctor to doctor while you attempt to find one that will support your spirit of RESISTANCE. Anything we fail to complete while we hide behind hollow excuses is an attempt to focus the attention on ourselves and is motivated by our spirit of RESISTANCE. An accident prone person or the individual that is often late for appointments usually suffer with the symptoms of RESISTANCE. It is often their fear of the unknown that cause them to make silly mistakes. It is a misconception to think that they feel ashamed when you reprimand them for their lack of stamina or commitment. They might create the impression that they are embarrassed, but deep inside enjoy the negative attention. They feel that any attention is better than no attention at all.
Look around you and check if you have individuals in your family, at work or that you play golf with that display any of the symptoms mentioned. You might be surprised to discover that there are a big percentage of these individuals that will go to almost any length continue to hide in the RESISTANCE zone. They will often act like stooges or belittle themselves in an attempt to avoid the unknown and untested. I will continue with this series tomorrow.
WE LIVE IN AN INSTANT “SOMETHING FOR NOTHING” SOCIETY TODAY. WHY PAY IF YOU CAN GET IT FOR FREE?
When you look around you today after you read this thought you might see things in people that you never detected before. I am going to remove a misconception that has been blinding you for the best part of your life. If you want to remain in your previous hypnotic state I suggest that you stop reading right now.
Most people, yes even family are often takers and can be labelled as “something for nothing” players. The next time a person turn on the charm or laughs for an old stale joke told by you, you should ask yourself the following. “What benefit does this person want to extract from me?” Most people today are not really interested in you or your well being. They tolerate you, befriend you, visit you not to enjoy your company, but rather for what they can extract from you.
They often first try to get whatever you have on offer for free. If all the charm, sulking or even faked friendship fail to do the trick they often revert to subtle or not so subtle emotional blackmail. I have seen these rituals many times in my life.
Some people call it a “deal” I simply call it greed. Most people want instant success, wealth, growth and careers today. Very few people are prepared to pay the price in full for their hopes and dreams. They feel they achieved some kind of victory if they can get you to pay for their dreams and aspirations.
Their friendships are often an empty and worthless network of members that parasite on each other. Their fake smiles and role played compassion is just as devoid of true feelings than the hart of a prostitute. Look around you and see if you can detect the good weather friends that sip your whisky and frequent your parties. If you blindly take people at face value you are setting yourself up for failure. See people for what they are and stop hoping for true relationships that are built on trust and integrity.
I AM NOT A TAKER AND WILL PAY THE PRICE FOR MY HOPES AND DREAMS IN FULL! I AM A “WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET KIND OF PERSON”
.
People that exert a positive influence are usually deeply interested in people. They always strive for a win-win deal with everybody they meet. They do not fake their way to success or manipulate people and set them up for a clever sting operation later. They love it when everybody gets a fair deal and share equally in what is on offer.
They speak their mind. If they feel upset by something you said or did, they tell you and not your neighbour. If they give you their hand in friendship, you can actually bargain on their loyalty. Many people do not like them because they feel threatened by them. They know they can see through their games and tricks. They do not like their direct approach and hate their honesty.
They may not sit in the front row in church on Sundays, but they often have more spirituality in their little finger than the “something for nothing” fakes in their whole body. Simplify your life and play the game of life straight down the line. You might not be selected as “Actor of the year”, but you will at least keep your dignity and self-esteem in tact. People with honest intentions and integrity are as rare as virgins in a brothel.
Everyday you make a thousand choices. You choose what to wear, where to go, who to meet, what to eat and what to do. MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, YOU decide WHAT TO THINK. One thing is sure and that is that your day will not be better than your thoughts. ...................
Just close your eyes for a moment and see if you can visualise this open toolbox and if you can see the hundreds of tools that are neatly placed in this toolbox. Now look if you can see the maker’s name on these tools. The creator of these tools (thoughts and perceptions) is you. You created thousands of thoughts and perceptions (tools) about everything since your childhood. ..................
When confronted with any situation or problem you reach into this toolbox and take out what you think the most appropriate tool would be and then attempt to fix the problem. It is estimated that your mind thinks at least 2,500 thoughts an hour. Every thought that you think is a tool (perception) that you have that you imagine would work best under specific circumstances. This thought process continues day and night and will do so for the rest of your life. .....................................
I am convinced that we think ourselves to a standstill. We never stop playing with these tools in our toolbox and can hardly ever really relax for a while. If we are not faced with a problem or task that needs completion we still continue to take out these tools and mentally rehears and contemplate how we will use them should something that we fear become a reality. ............................
We are forever thinking and scheming and never become still and tranquil inside. Our bodies might seem relaxed, but deep inside our heads this thought process continues churning around. What I am most worried about is that most of the tools that you have in your toolbox are very old and outdated. .......................
Many of the opportunities, problems and obstructions that you face daily cannot be repaired while you are using old and outdated tools. If you take a modern mechanic’s toolbox and you place the toolbox of a mechanic of fifty years ago next to it you will find that there are major discrepancies. When you are confronted with something that needs repair and you do not have the right tool for the task at hand it can be very frustrating. We usually improvise and try using some other tools and hope that it will also get the job done. ........................
When you are faced with a problem you need to select the right tool for the task at hand. If you do not have the tool in your toolbox it can complicate your life. What most people seem to ignore is that it is sometimes better not to reach for your toolbox when faced with a problem. Sometimes you need time to pass or need to leave the problem with its rightful owner. How well you use your tools is usually reflected in the world you see around you. What would you do if you were faced with any or all of the following? .........................
You get a flat tire on your way to an important customer or meeting. You can fall apart, develop a migraine and think that life is against you or you can take out the right tools (patience and reality) and take care of the problem in a relaxed manner. ........................
You have been working on the computer for hours and suddenly lose all your work. You can drop dead with a heart attack; think that God hates you or you can take out the right tool (sanity and reality) and begin over and this time remember to make a backup of your work. ....................
A lover or wife possibly cheated on you. You can go crazy and get an assassin to take out the potential threat to your relationship, think that you are a failure or you can take out the right tool (no fear of loss) and get on with your life. .......................
When you have the right tools in your toolbox it makes life a lot easier. The choices we make are vital in our lives. The more quality choices we make during any given day the higher the probability of success and peace of mind. ................
I suggest that you equip your toolbox with the best tools you can lay your hands on. It is important to upgrade if you discover that one of your tools are outdated or that a more modern version is available. How would you react if your TV packed up and a technician that obviously knows very little about electronics arrived at your house with only a sledgehammer and a few other primitive tools in his toolbox? I am sure that you will send him away and find someone better qualified and equipped for the task. .....................
You might sometimes be like this incompetent and poorly equipped technician indicated above if you do not often update your tools (thoughts) in your toolbox. You can also have all the right tools in your toolbox and never use them because you are afraid that you might make a mistake. ..................
You must remember that happiness and success is always just one thought (tool) away. You should remember when you find it difficult to cope with something that one new tool (thought) could change your life. One fresh thought and one new idea can change your life from pain and suffering to success and peace of mind. ........................
You are today what you were programmed with yesterday. The choices that you make on a moment-to-moment basis decide your fate and future. You can never feel or perform better than the ongoing thoughts and feelings that you allow to occupy your mind! .......................
The mistake we make is that most of us live our lives on a reactive basis. We start and complete our day in a reactive state of being. Something comes to our attention via our five senses or via a thought in our mind. We automatically slip into the “role” that we created for ourselves many moons ago. We act, react and experience the same feelings and emotions that we embedded with our scrip at its inception. We do exactly the same when new stimuli push the previous “drama” off the stage in our minds. We sustain this reactive mode of thinking until we finally go to bed at night. Most of our days are made up of a tapestry of “roles” that we played in our own colorful way. It is important to understand that nothing is going to change until we do something different. We cannot repeat the same old recipes and expect a different outcome. ....................
You can use the “Portable Life Skills Wisdom” book to develop a range of appropriate scripts that you can use when you are faced with a problem or project that need your attention. You will if you apply the scripts in this book find that you no longer run your life on a reactive basis. The new scripts will help you to live your life in the moment. You will become more realistic. You will treat each event on its own merit. How do you do this? ......................
The Process ....................
Read the first message in your book. Write it down if at all possible. It will assist you to absorb the data provided. Now sit back and close your eyes and visualize how you will apply the specific message in the various areas of your life. See yourself on the screen of your mind using the message in all your day-to-day activities. It is important to attempt to feel and experience the benefits that this new mode of thinking will bring into your life. Do this for ten minutes. Then open your eyes and begin to apply the wisdom on all occasions where appropriate in your activities on that given day. ...........................
Proceed to do the same with second message etc. in your book tomorrow. You will upload almost a thousand powerful recipes if you sustain the process indicated above. You can in less than three years upload a powerful “tool” system that will serve you for the rest of your life. This can be a life changing experience if you apply it daily. You will discover that the ten minutes you invest daily will upload countless new strategies into your subconscious computer. Build a successful and happy life. The key however is action. You can have the best tools available to man and still fail if you don’t use them daily. Wishing you the very best with this endeavor. .............................
Daily Support System (This Blog) ................
You not only have the massive key ideas in the book that you can use when appropriate you also receive daily posts on a wide range of subjects that will expand this system to a level never offered before. Visit this blog daily for fresh new ideas with a sprinkle of historical wisdom that stood the test of time. ..........................
Rene
PORTABLE LIFE SKILLS DAILY WISDOM GUIDE 