Man fear failure, pain, loss, embarrassment, rejection, and a wide range of other stuff. Why do we allow the element of fear to play such a devastating role in our lives? The main reason seems to be that we don’t want to endure pain, discomfort and anxiety because we don’t enjoy the feelings that flood our body and mind.
Have the thought ever cross your mind that we don’t fear the same stuff universally? Some of us will allow a spider to sit in our hand without showing any anxiety or fear. Some of us will give a speech in front of a massive audience and enjoy it.
There are those that seem to be immune to verbal abuse and rejection. A thick skin repels verbal abuse like a rug treated with a soil repellent. The reason why we have different fear patterns is because those that conditioned us during childhood had different things that they feared during your formative years.
There are certain fears that are more universal. Religion and politics in the area where you grew up is usually responsible for specific fears. Fear became a universal control system that is used openly, but more often than not subliminally by governments, religion, banks etc. to put you in an almost endless state of fear. Look around you and you will discover that the whole system was designed to control the masses.
The more we fear the thicker the walls become around us that keep us a prisoner. We fear rejection and take endless abuse by our partner. We fear financial pressure and eat the abuse of a slave driving boss daily. We fear crime and build prisons with high walls with barb wire that we live in.
We are also controlled by our fear of other races, religions, political groups and the potential of disasters like earth warming or the second coming of Christ. We often fear Muslims and Muslims hate (form of fear) Christian. Can you see the endless invisible chains that keep us locked in a state of mental paralysis?
The only way that you can escape the fear trap is to see things as they are and not the way that your controllers want you to view them. Take anything you fear and start researching it. Make it your business to fully understand the dynamics of the subject of your research. Dig deep and ask questions. Knowledge will set you free. Knowledge shines a light in the dark dungeons where fear hide in your mind.
Most of the stuff you fear is nothing more than toothless paper tigers that make a lot of noise. Be bold and select one subject today that you would like to expose to the light. I guarantee you that there is virtually nothing that can threaten you once you start applying this principle.
Remember someone is benefiting from your fear. Ask yourself who is benefiting from your state of fear and you will identify your fear source and at the same time grasp his/her or their motivation.
Stop taking people, your goals and projects so seriously. I found that a focused approach and a “no fear of loss” attitude take you a long way towards a successful and happy life. How can you enjoy your successes if you never knew failure? Give things your best shot and go for gold every time. You will win some and lose some, but you will feel alive and part of the game of life. Learn to say, “so what” when things fail to work out as expected. Learn to see the humour in your failures. Remember when you cry, you cry alone
Man fear failure, pain, loss, embarrassment, rejection, and a wide range of other stuff. Why do we allow the element of fear to play such a devastating role in our lives? The main reason seems to be that we don’t want to endure pain, discomfort and anxiety because we don’t enjoy the feelings that flood our body and mind. Have the thought ever cross your mind that we don’t fear the same stuff universally? Some of us will allow a spider to sit in our hand without showing any anxiety or fear. Some of us will give a speech in front of a massive audience and enjoy it. There are those that seem to be immune to verbal abuse and rejection. A thick skin repels verbal abuse like a rug treated with a soil repellent. The reason why we have different fear patterns is because those that conditioned us during childhood had different things that they feared during your formative years. There are certain fears that are more universal. Religion and politics in the area where you grew up is usually responsible for specific fears. Fear became a universal control system that is used openly, but more often than not subliminally by governments, religion, banks etc. to put you in an almost endless state of fear. Look around you and you will discover that the whole system was designed to control the masses. The more we fear the thicker the walls become around us that keep us a prisoner. We fear rejection and take endless abuse by our partner. We fear financial pressure and eat the abuse of a slave driving boss daily. We fear crime and build prisons with high walls with barbwire that we live in. We are also controlled by our fear of other races, religions, political groups and the potential of disasters like earth warming or the second coming of Christ. We often fear Muslims and Muslims hate (form of fear) Christian. Can you see the endless invisible chains that keep us locked in a state of mental paralysis? The only way that you can escape the fear trap is to see things as they are and not the way that your controllers want you to view them. Take anything you fear and start researching it. Make it your business to fully understand the dynamics of the subject of your research. Dig deep and ask questions. Knowledge will set you free. Knowledge shines a light in the dark dungeons where fear hides in your mind. Most of the stuff you fear is nothing more than toothless paper tigers that make a lot of noise. Be bold and select one subject today that you would like to expose to the light. I guarantee you that there is virtually nothing that can threaten you once you start applying this principle. Remember someone is benefiting from your fear. Ask yourself who is benefiting from your state of fear and you will identify your fear source and at the same time grasp his/her or their motivation.
Stop blaming everybody for your failures. You are ultimately in control of your own destiny. There is a fallacy that it is a disgrace to fail. Failure is not the end of the road, but simply an indicator that you still have certain lessons to learn. Failure is your built in alarm system that detects when you need to put in some additional work in a specific area. It is not the kiss of death to your hopes and dreams.
Stop calling it bad luck or some kind of conspiracy when you are actually the one that gave up on your dreams. Dreams without a constructive plan action are a total waste of time. Dreams can be compared to a seed. Only when this seed is watered (action) and nurtured (work) will it turn into a mature plant that can feed your family.
Stop focusing on your own needs for a while if you want to expand your influence at a rapid and spectacular pace. Only when you sincerely become interested in people will you see, feel, and hear who they really are. Our minds are so flooded with prejudice and preconceived perceptions that our mental growth is put on hold at a very young age. We lost our ability to listen a long time ago and only give attention to what others say when we feel that there might be something for us in the deal.
Stop taking people, your goals and projects so seriously. I found that a focused approach and a “no fear of loss” attitude take you a long way towards a successful and happy life. How can you enjoy your successes if you never knew failure? Give things your best shot and go for gold every time. You will win some and lose some, but you will feel alive and part of the game of life. Learn to say, “so what” when things fail to work out as expected. Learn to see the humour in your failures. Remember when you cry, you cry alone.
Stop waiting for others to earn your approval and love. Go out and show your love for others unconditionally. It is your fear that is holding you back. Take off your protective gear and show your feelings my friend or you will never experience real happiness and true love. It takes courage to expose yourself to potential rejection and failure, but champions do not succumb to their fear!
Stop wasting your time trying to understand why people act the way they do. They are inhabitants of the outer world. You have ownership and control of your own world, but not of the outer world. You will tire and deplete yourself in the process and set yourself up for failure if you attempt to control or adjust the outer world. Accept that no permanent control is possible in the outer world. The governments, police and the armies of all the nations on the planet cannot fully control this world’s inhabitants. What makes you think that you can?
INTEGRITY IS VITAL IF YOU WANT TO EXERT INFLUENCE IN YOUR PERSONAL OR BUSINESS LIFE
.
Many years ago I attended a seminar and heard the following story told by one of the lecturers. He told us a long-winded story about how he visited a farm where they breed and feed turkeys for the table. He apparently overheard two turkeys chatting about how much they loved and cherished the life on the farm. One mentioned how he enjoyed the wonderful clean mountain air while the other found the food and facilities outstanding. They also expressed their love and admiration for the farmer and the people that worked in their pens. There was one puzzling aspect about the life in this turkey “heaven” that worried one of the turkeys slightly. One day while they were busy feeding on the abundance of food available he shared the following with one of his fellow turkey friends. He said, “I hope that you will not think less of me or think that I am ungrateful, but I find it difficult to figure out why the farmer is so good to us.” “He is always there for us”. “When one of us feel sick he is quickly taken to the vet. He generally goes out of his way to make our stay here on the farm a wonderful experience.” “The farmer is almost to good to be true”, he mumbled as an after thought. “I have a feeling that there is something seriously wrong, but I am unable to lay my finger on it.”
The reason why I am sharing this story with you is because there are lots of people that use our vulnerability and their influence, position and status in a similar manner. They feed us with BS that is often too good to be true, just like the farmer in the story. They often in a heartless manner set us up for the slaughter. They set us up and make us vulnerable by using help, lunches, support and favours as their tools.
.
I WILL NOT BECOME ANY PERSON’S TURKEY. I WILL NOT ALLOW UNSCRUPULOUS PEOPLE (FARMERS) TO SET ME UP FOR FAILURE
.
If you want to really exert a strong influence over people, you will have to learn the value of real integrity and sincerity. If I am allowed to select only one element that provided you with strong influence over others I will select unconditional integrity. If you think that you can use the fake sincerity used by the turkey farmer in our story you are setting yourself up for failure. Fake sincerity only provides you with short-term results. You might catch a few suckers now and then, but in the long-term, you will become a victim of your own deviousness. Once you become known as a “turkey farmer”, you might as well move to another province or country. Your reputation as turkey farmer will spread like wild fire and people will avoid you like the plague.
Influence built on sincerity and integrity is lasting. If you become known, as a person of your word people will stand in line to do business with you. Just watch the Jerry Springer show if you want to see the result of insincere, friendships and relationship. You will night after night see how people that have been fed with BS by an insincere partner (turkey farmer) destroy the hopes and dreams of girlfriends and lovers (turkeys). It is almost pathetic to see how streams of vulnerable people come to their final emotional demise on this show. If you want to build a strong long-term influence base, sincere integrity will get you there every time.
How many of us do not reach a point in our lives where we feel “STUCK”. We feel like the sterile soil in a desert that yearn for the welcome rain that will once again unlock the millions of seeds lying dormant in the soul of our sand. We find it difficult to recall the last time the fertile rain triggered the untold beauty and prosperity now hibernating under the boiling soil that is mercilessly attacked by the rays of the sun. We know we have so much to give in our relationships and work, but cannot break the bondage that sustains our inability to act. These hibernation periods in our lives force feelings of inferiority and failure to cloud our minds and judgement. These “DOWN” periods in our lives can be viewed as a disaster or it can be seen as a period where we REST, REFLECT and REPLENISH our resolve. You will discover when you look back on your “life story” that your most promising GROWTH periods in your life always followed the darkest “DOWN” periods that you faced. My dear friend the key is to take sustained action towards your dreams and goals. You can bring back the rain in your life when you rekindle the passion in your heart and mind. Repeat the following as often as you can today. I will attack each day with a positive attitude. I will not let setbacks and barriers force me back into hibernation. I know that each time I fade under pressure I stifle the potential of the millions of seeds of joy and creativity in my heart that relying on my persistence. See the following image in your head while you repeat these words of wisdom.
Keep this image in mind the next time you feel like a failure. All waters in the ocean could never sink a ship unless it gets inside; likewise, all the pressures of life can never hurt you, unless you let it in. The key the successful management of a failure is to detach and compose yourself before you take wise and sustained action.
WE SEE THINGS ON A SELECTIVE BASIS. WE OFTEN ONLY SEE AND ACCEPT THINGS THAT ARE CLOSE TO OUR OWN PERCEPTIONS. WE USE THIS METHOD IN AN ATTEMPT TO EXPERIENCE PLEASURE AND AVOID PAIN!
We are often too close to something or someone that we are unable to see the mistakes that they make. We as parents often suffer with this form of selective blindness when it comes to our own children or family. We see what we want to see and ignore or fail to notice things that could cause a major disaster if left unattended.
We also have the ability to amplify certain minor things to disaster proportions. You are usually not disappointed if you become “flaws focused”. I have met many people that just do not want to see the reality of a person or situation. I have seen many neglected parents that fail to see that their children have lost all their compassion or loyalty towards them.
I have seen many abused wives that fail to understand or become aware of the monster behaviour of their spouses. I have seen millions of people that selectively see what their politicians do. They fail to see their broken promises and that things are getting worse by the day. I have seen small business owners that fail to see that they are getting nowhere fast because of their inability to manage their time and money.
What you decide to focus on will become visible to you. If you think that you are a failure even your smallest mistakes will seem like monsters in your mind. If you think that your partner is cheating on you, you will see fraud in every thing they say or do. Can you see how you switch what you think must be visible and invisible on and off in your life? Can you also understand how you are paralyzing your potential by not managing this ability properly?
I say ability because you can also use this ability to your advantage. The moment you learn that what you focus on will become a reality in your life, your life will change. When you put your focus on what need to be done it will get done. If you focus on your relationship and decide that you want it to succeed you are well on your way to success. Winners focus on worthwhile things while losers remain focused on what could have been. Winners tend to focus on solutions while losers focus on problems.
WHAT I FOCUS ON WILL BECOME A REALITY IN MY LIFE. WHAT I FOCUS ON AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT WILL BECOME A REALITY!
Once you become focused, you also become productive. I must however qualify the word focus. I should add positively focused, because if you are negatively focused the positive in your life will become invisible to you. I mentioned earlier that you tend to erase or make invisible what you want to avoid. If you want to see the bad in a person, you usually erase all the good that that person has done for you. The opposite is also true. If you want to forgive a person for what he or she has done to you, you will need to erase his or her wrongdoings or no real forgiveness can take place.
There is thus nothing wrong with the system as long as you use it in a constructive manner. If you failed yesterday, you need to erase the failure and focus on the new opportunities that the new day might bring to you. While you remain focused on your past mistakes no progress can be made and no new opportunities will become visible for you.
You can influence people in a powerful way if you become a master of this method. If you can focus on the potential good in a person, you will always find something worthy in such person. If you view everybody as potential rubbish you will only see and smell the stench of life. Just think of the positive influence you can have on the people that are part of your game of life if you become a person that is positively focused.
INTEGRITY IS VITAL IF YOU WANT TO EXERT INFLUENCE IN YOUR PERSONAL OR BUSINESS LIFE
.
Many years ago I attended a seminar and heard the following story told by one of the lecturers. He told us a long-winded story about how he visited a farm where they breed and feed turkeys for the table. He apparently overheard two turkeys chatting about how much they loved and cherished the life on the farm. One mentioned how he enjoyed the wonderful clean mountain air while the other found the food and facilities outstanding. They also expressed their love and admiration for the farmer and the people that worked in their pens. There was one puzzling aspect about the life in this turkey “heaven” that worried one of the turkeys slightly. One day while they were busy feeding on the abundance of food available he shared the following with one of his fellow turkey friends. He said, “I hope that you will not think less of me or think that I am ungrateful, but I find it difficult to figure out why the farmer is so good to us.” “He is always there for us”. “When one of us feel sick he is quickly taken to the vet. He generally goes out of his way to make our stay here on the farm a wonderful experience.” “The farmer is almost to good to be true”, he mumbled as an after thought. “I have a feeling that there is something seriously wrong, but I am unable to lay my finger on it.”
The reason why I am sharing this story with you is because there are lots of people that use our vulnerability and their influence, position and status in a similar manner. They feed us with BS; they are also often too good to be true, just like the farmer in the story. They often in a heartless manner set us up for the slaughter. They set us up and make us vulnerable by using help, lunches, support and favours as their tools. for these unscrupulous operators (farmer).
.
I WILL NOT BECOME ANY PERSON’S TURKEY. I WILL NOT ALLOW UNSCRUPULOUS PEOPLE (FARMERS) TO SET ME UP FOR FAILURE
.
If you want to really exert a strong influence over people, you will have to learn the value of real integrity and sincerity. If I am allowed to select only one element that provided you with strong influence over others I will select unconditional integrity. If you think that you can use the fake sincerity used by the turkey farmer in our story you are setting yourself up for failure. Fake sincerity only provides you with short-term results. You might catch a few suckers now and then, but in the long-term, you will become a victim of your own deviousness. Once you become known as a “turkey farmer”, you might as well move to another province or country. Your reputation as turkey farmer will spread like wild fire and people will avoid you like the plague.
Influence built on sincerity and integrity is lasting. If you become known, as a person of your word people will stand in line to do business with you. Just watch the Jerry Springer show if you want to see the result of insincere, friendships and relationship. You will night after night see how people that have been fed with BS by an insincere partner (turkey farmer) destroy the hopes and dreams of girlfriends and lovers (turkeys). It is almost pathetic to see how streams of vulnerable people come to their final emotional demise on this show. If you want to build a strong long-term influence base, sincere integrity will get you there every time.
Failure can only hurt you if you make a conscious choice to view it as a disaster and not a lesson. Once you labelled failure with the “disaster” or “failure” label, it begins to erode your soul. Champions never create or facilitate these failure monsters in their minds. They know that they hold the key to its power in their hands. They never view any failure or mistake as final and irreversible.
You may ask, “What must I do when I am confronted with severe adversity and problems that seem insurmountable? What must I do when I tried my level best and I still failed miserably? We are often faced with circumstances that we have had very little control over. The biggest mistake that you can ever make is to immediately jump to the conclusion that you are punished by God because of something that you did somewhere in the past. It is also not that shady character Satan that is targeting you in an attempt to test if you are ready to join his team.
We are convinced from early childhood that we are usually responsible for the setbacks and failures that cross our path. I have interviewed women that have been brutally raped on their way from work that feel that it is some kind of sick test from God to see if they are still “heaven” material. You might feel that it is impossible that people in this day and age still think that way, but many do.
You will only learn to manage failure and setbacks if you accept that life is simply a process of cause and effect. There is no mystical force at work my friend. The key to problem and failure management is fairly simple. What happened to you might be real and very painful, but how you respond to such failure will decide the outcome of such setback.
I know it is difficult when your pain and disappointment is real to understand that you still hold the key to your recovery. You almost always have a choice. You can fall apart and play the role of a victim to perfection or you can decide that you are not going to allow this painful failure or problem to get you down permanently.
Please note that I do not claim that it will be easy, but want you to understand that you hold the key to recovery in your hands. You will shorten your recovery time tremendously if you can muster up the courage to get up when knocked down and come out fighting.
.
LET US GET REAL AND FACE REALITY
.
Sit down right now and make a list of all your problems, setbacks and failures that you feel is preventing you from being the success you know you can be. Make sure that your list is as comprehensive as possible.
Once you have your list, I want you to do the following. I want you to go through your list and see if you can identify the things that you feel is totally out of your control and that you can do very little about in the foreseeable future. Mark them with a ® in front of them. The ® is used to remind you of reality thinking. If you know that you will not be able to raise the million Rand you need to save your business, mark this problem with an ® and immediately stop bullshitting yourself that a fairy might drop in during the night and leave a cool million Rand next to your bed. The sooner you accept the inevitable that the problems and setbacks marked with ® is currently “unsolvable” the quicker you will come to term with the potential consequences. Rather face reality and focus on things that you can do something about than unrealistically clinging to fantasies.
Once you have illuminated the factual reality stuff you can begin to do something constructive about the rest of the items on your list. There is no purpose or logic in living in a fantasy zone. Once you have accepted the worst that can happen and you get busy with things that you can do something about your life will take on a new meaning. You can cry and feel sorry for yourselves all you like. You can continue to speculate what you or someone else could or should have done deep into the night, but when you wake up tired and depleted the next morning reality will still be there staring you in the face. When you accept, the inevitable it will bring closure to incomplete cycles and usually activate a wonderful feeling or relief in your heart and soul. Learn to face reality so you can spend more time doing something constructive about things that you have control over.
Stop blaming everybody for your failures. You are ultimately in control of your own destiny. There is a fallacy that it is a disgrace to fail. Failure is not the end of the road, but simply an indicator that you still have certain lessons to learn. Failure is your built in alarm system that detects when you need to put in some additional work in a specific area. It is not the kiss of death to your hopes and dreams.
Stop calling it bad luck or some kind of conspiracy when you are actually the one that gave up on your dreams. Dreams without a constructive plan action are a total waste of time. Dreams can be compared to a seed. Only when this seed is watered (action) and nurtured (work) will it turn into a mature plant that can feed your family.
Stop focusing on your own needs for a while if you want to expand your influence at a rapid and spectacular pace. Only when you sincerely become interested in people will you see, feel, and hear who they really are. Our minds are so flooded with prejudice and preconceived perceptions that our mental growth is put on hold at a very young age. We lost our ability to listen a long time ago and only give attention to what others say when we feel that there might be something for us in the deal.
Stop taking people, your goals and projects so seriously. I found that a focused approach and a “no fear of loss” attitude take you a long way towards a successful and happy life. How can you enjoy your successes if you never knew failure? Give things your best shot and go for gold every time. You will win some and lose some, but you will feel alive and part of the game of life. Learn to say, “so what” when things fail to work out as expected. Learn to see the humour in your failures. Remember when you cry, you cry alone.
Stop waiting for others to earn your approval and love. Go out and show your love for others unconditionally. It is your fear that is holding you back. Take off your protective gear and show your feelings my friend or you will never experience real happiness and true love. It takes courage to expose yourself to potential rejection and failure, but champions do not succumb to their fear!
Stop wasting your time trying to understand why people act the way they do. They are inhabitants of the outer world. You have ownership and control of your own world, but not of the outer world. You will tire and deplete yourself in the process and set yourself up for failure if you attempt to control or adjust the outer world. Accept that no permanent control is possible in the outer world. The governments, police and the armies of all the nations on the planet cannot fully control this world’s inhabitants. What makes you think that you can?
Man fear failure, pain, loss, embarrassment, rejection, and a wide range of other stuff. Why do we allow the element of fear to play such a devastating role in our lives? The main reason seems to be that we don’t want to endure pain, discomfort and anxiety because we don’t enjoy the feelings that flood our body and mind. Have the thought ever cross your mind that we don’t fear the same stuff universally? Some of us will allow a spider to sit in our hand without showing any anxiety or fear. Some of us will give a speech in front of a massive audience and enjoy it. There are those that seem to be immune to verbal abuse and rejection. A thick skin repels verbal abuse like a rug treated with a soil repellent. The reason why we have different fear patterns is because those that conditioned us during childhood had different things that they feared during your formative years. There are certain fears that are more universal. Religion and politics in the area where you grew up is usually responsible for specific fears. Fear became a universal control system that is used openly, but more often than not subliminally by governments, religion, banks etc. to put you in an almost endless state of fear. Look around you and you will discover that the whole system was designed to control the masses. The more we fear the thicker the walls become around us that keep us a prisoner. We fear rejection and take endless abuse by our partner. We fear financial pressure and eat the abuse of a slave driving boss daily. We fear crime and build prisons with high walls with barb wire that we live in. We are also controlled by our fear of other races, religions, political groups and the potential of disasters like earth warming or the second coming of Christ. We often fear Muslims and Muslims hate (form of fear) Christian. Can you see the endless invisible chains that keep us locked in a state of mental paralysis? The only way that you can escape the fear trap is to see things as they are and not the way that your controllers want you to view them. Take anything you fear and start researching it. Make it your business to fully understand the dynamics of the subject of your research. Dig deep and ask questions. Knowledge will set you free. Knowledge shines a light in the dark dungeons where fear hides in your mind. Most of the stuff you fear is nothing more than toothless paper tigers that make a lot of noise. Be bold and select one subject today that you would like to expose to the light. I guarantee you that there is virtually nothing that can threaten you once you start applying this principle. Remember someone is benefiting from your fear. Ask yourself who is benefiting from your state of fear and you will identify your fear source and at the same time grasp his/her or their motivation.
Failure can only hurt you if you make a conscious choice to view it as a disaster and not a lesson. Once you labelled failure with a “disaster” or “failure” label, it begins to erode your soul. Champions never create or facilitate failure monsters in their minds. They know that they hold the key to their own power in their hands. They never view any failure or mistake as final and irreversible. Champions see failures and loss as learning experiences. It is silly to get stuck on what could or should have been. All you have is your current moment. Each new current moment provide you with an opportunity to make a fresh start.
Man fear failure, pain, loss, embarrassment, rejection, and a wide range of other stuff. Why do we allow the element of fear to play such a devastating role in our lives? The main reason seems to be that we don’t want to endure pain, discomfort and anxiety because we don’t enjoy the feelings that flood our body and mind. Have the thought ever cross your mind that we don’t fear the same stuff universally? Some of us will allow a spider to sit in our hand without showing any anxiety or fear. Some of us will give a speech in front of a massive audience and enjoy it. There are those that seem to be immune to verbal abuse and rejection. A thick skin repels verbal abuse like a rug treated with a soil repellent. The reason why we have different fear patterns is because those that conditioned us during childhood had different things that they feared during your formative years. There are certain fears that are more universal. Religion and politics in the area where you grew up is usually responsible for specific fears. Fear became a universal control system that is used openly, but more often than not subliminally by governments, religion, banks etc. to put you in an almost endless state of fear. Look around you and you will discover that the whole system was designed to control the masses. The more we fear the thicker the walls become around us that keep us a prisoner. We fear rejection and take endless abuse by our partner. We fear financial pressure and eat the abuse of a slave driving boss daily. We fear crime and build prisons with high walls with barbwire that we live in. We are also controlled by our fear of other races, religions, political groups and the potential of disasters like earth warming or the second coming of Christ. We often fear Muslims and Muslims hate (form of fear) Christian. Can you see the endless invisible chains that keep us locked in a state of mental paralysis? The only way that you can escape the fear trap is to see things as they are and not the way that your controllers want you to view them. Take anything you fear and start researching it. Make it your business to fully understand the dynamics of the subject of your research. Dig deep and ask questions. Knowledge will set you free. Knowledge shines a light in the dark dungeons where fear hides in your mind. Most of the stuff you fear is nothing more than toothless paper tigers that make a lot of noise. Be bold and select one subject today that you would like to expose to the light. I guarantee you that there is virtually nothing that can threaten you once you start applying this principle. Remember someone is benefiting from your fear. Ask yourself who is benefiting from your state of fear and you will identify your fear source and at the same time grasp his/her or their motivation.
Stop taking people, your goals and projects so seriously. I found that a focused approach and a “no fear of loss” attitude take you a long way towards a successful and happy life. How can you enjoy your successes if you never knew failure? Give things your best shot and go for gold every time. You will win some and lose some, but you will feel alive and part of the game of life. Learn to say, “so what” when things fail to work out as expected. Learn to see the humour in your failures. Remember when you cry, you cry alone
You may ask, “What must I do when I am confronted with severe adversity and problems that seem insurmountable? What must I do when I tried my level best and I still failed miserably? We are often faced with circumstances that we have had very little control over. The biggest mistake that you can ever make is to immediately jump to the conclusion that you are punished by God because of something that you did somewhere in the past. It is also not that shady character Satan that is targeting you in an attempt to test if you are ready to join his team.
We are convinced from early childhood that we are usually responsible for the setbacks and failures that cross our path. I have interviewed women that have been brutally raped on their way from work that feel that it is some kind of sick test from God to see if they are still “heaven” material. You might feel that it is impossible that people in this day and age still think that way, but many do.
You will only learn to manage failure and setbacks if you accept that life is simply a process of cause and effect. There is no mystical force at work my friend. The key to problem and failure management is fairly simple. What happened to you might be real and very painful, but how you respond to such failure will decide the outcome of such setback.
I know it is difficult when your pain and disappointment is real to understand that you still hold the key to your recovery. You almost always have a choice. You can fall apart and play the role of a victim to perfection or you can decide that you are not going to allow this painful failure or problem to get you down permanently.
Please note that I do not claim that it will be easy, but want you to understand that you hold the key to recovery in your hands. You will shorten your recovery time tremendously if you can muster up the courage to get up when knocked down and come out fighting.
.
LET US GET REAL AND FACE REALITY
. Sit down right now and make a list of all your problems, setbacks and failures that you feel is preventing you from being the success you know you can be. Make sure that your list is as comprehensive as possible.
Once you have your list, I want you to do the following. I want you to go through your list and see if you can identify the things that you feel is totally out of your control and that you can do very little about in the foreseeable future. Mark them with a ® in front of them. The ® is used to remind you of reality thinking. If you know that you will not be able to raise the million Rand you need to save your business, mark this problem with an ® and immediately stop bullshitting yourself that a fairy might drop in during the night and leave a cool million Rand next to your bed. The sooner you accept the inevitable that the problems and setbacks marked with ® is currently “unsolvable” the quicker you will come to term with the potential consequences. Rather face reality and focus on things that you can do something about than unrealistically clinging to fantasies.
Once you have illuminated the factual reality stuff you can begin to do something constructive about the rest of the items on your list. There is no purpose or logic in living in a fantasy zone. Once you have accepted the worst that can happen and you get busy with things that you can do something about your life will take on a new meaning. You can cry and feel sorry for yourselves all you like. You can continue to speculate what you or someone else could or should have done deep into the night, but when you wake up tired and depleted the next morning reality will still be there staring you in the face. When you accept, the inevitable it will bring closure to incomplete cycles and usually activate a wonderful feeling or relief in your heart and soul. Learn to face reality so you can spend more time doing something constructive about things that you have control over.
INTEGRITY IS VITAL IF YOU WANT TO EXERT INFLUENCE IN YOUR PERSONAL OR BUSINESS LIFE
.
Many years ago I attended a seminar and heard the following story told by one of the lecturers. He told us a long-winded story about how he visited a farm where they breed and feed turkeys for the table. He apparently overheard two turkeys chatting about how much they loved and cherished the life on the farm. One mentioned how he enjoyed the wonderful clean mountain air while the other found the food and facilities outstanding. They also expressed their love and admiration for the farmer and the people that worked in their pens. There was one puzzling aspect about the life in this turkey “heaven” that worried one of the turkeys slightly. One day while they were busy feeding on the abundance of food available he shared the following with one of his fellow turkey friends. He said, “I hope that you will not think less of me or think that I am ungrateful, but I find it difficult to figure out why the farmer is so good to us.” “He is always there for us”. “When one of us feel sick he is quickly taken to the vet. He generally goes out of his way to make our stay here on the farm a wonderful experience.” “The farmer is almost to good to be true”, he mumbled as an after thought. “I have a feeling that there is something seriously wrong, but I am unable to lay my finger on it.”
The reason why I am sharing this story with you is because there are lots of people that use our vulnerability and their influence, position and status in a similar manner. They feed us with BS; they are also often too good to be true, just like the farmer in the story. They often in a heartless manner set us up for the slaughter. They set us up and make us vulnerable by using help, lunches, support and favors as their tools. Our need for acceptance and our desire for friendship, understanding and empathy make us sitting target for these unscrupulous operators (farmer).
I WILL NOT BECOME ANY PERSON’S TURKEY. I WILL NOT ALLOW UNSCRUPULOUS PEOPLE (FARMERS) TO SET ME UP FOR FAILURE
If you want to really exert a strong influence over people, you will have to learn the value of real integrity and sincerity. If I am allowed to select only one element that provided you with strong influence over others I will select unconditional integrity. If you think that you can use the fake sincerity used by the turkey farmer in our story you are setting yourself up for failure. Fake sincerity only provides you with short-term results. You might catch a few suckers now and then, but in the long-term, you will become a victim of your own deviousness. Once you become known as a “turkey farmer”, you might as well move to another province or country. Your reputation as turkey farmer will spread like wild fire and people will avoid you like the plague.
Influence built on sincerity and integrity is lasting. If you become known, as a person of your word people will stand in line to do business with you. Just watch the Jerry Springer show if you want to see the result of insincere, friendships and relationship. You will night after night see how people that have been fed with BS by an insincere partner (turkey farmer) destroy the hopes and dreams of girlfriends and lovers (turkeys). It is almost pathetic to see how streams of vulnerable people come to their final emotional demise on this show. If you want to build a strong long-term influence base, sincere integrity will get you there every time.
Man fear failure, pain, loss, embarrassment, rejection, and a wide range of other stuff. Why do we allow the element of fear to play such a devastating role in our lives? The main reason seems to be that we don’t want to endure pain, discomfort and anxiety because we don’t enjoy the feelings that flood our body and mind. Have the thought ever cross your mind that we don’t fear the same stuff universally? Some of us will allow a spider to sit in our hand without showing any anxiety or fear. Some of us will give a speech in front of a massive audience and enjoy it. There are those that seem to be immune to verbal abuse and rejection. A thick skin repels verbal abuse like a rug treated with a soil repellent. The reason why we have different fear patterns is because those that conditioned us during childhood had different things that they feared during your formative years. There are certain fears that are more universal. Religion and politics in the area where you grew up is usually responsible for specific fears. Fear became a universal control system that is used openly, but more often than not subliminally by governments, religion, banks etc. to put you in an almost endless state of fear. Look around you and you will discover that the whole system was designed to control the masses. The more we fear the thicker the walls become around us that keep us a prisoner. We fear rejection and take endless abuse by our partner. We fear financial pressure and eat the abuse of a slave driving boss daily. We fear crime and build prisons with high walls with barb wire that we live in. We are also controlled by our fear of other races, religions, political groups and the potential of disasters like earth warming or the second coming of Christ. We often fear Muslims and Muslims hate (form of fear) Christian. Can you see the endless invisible chains that keep us locked in a state of mental paralysis? The only way that you can escape the fear trap is to see things as they are and not the way that your controllers want you to view them. Take anything you fear and start researching it. Make it your business to fully understand the dynamics of the subject of your research. Dig deep and ask questions. Knowledge will set you free. Knowledge shines a light in the dark dungeons where fear hides in your mind. Most of the stuff you fear is nothing more than toothless paper tigers that make a lot of noise. Be bold and select one subject today that you would like to expose to the light. I guarantee you that there is virtually nothing that can threaten you once you start applying this principle. Remember someone is benefiting from your fear. Ask yourself who is benefiting from your state of fear and you will identify your fear source and at the same time grasp his/her or their motivation.
How many of us do not reach a point in our lives where we feel “STUCK”. We feel like the sterile soil in a desert that yearn for the welcome rain that will once again unlock the millions of seeds lying dormant in the soul of our sand. We find it difficult to recall the last time the fertile rain triggered the untold beauty and prosperity now hibernating under the boiling soil that is mercilessly attacked by the rays of the sun. We know we have so much to give in our relationships and work, but cannot break the bondage that sustains our inability to act. These hibernation periods in our lives force feelings of inferiority and failure to cloud our minds and judgement. These “DOWN” periods in our lives can be viewed as a disaster or it can be seen as a period where we REST, REFLECT and REPLENISH our resolve. You will discover when you look back on your “life story” that your most promising GROWTH periods in your life always followed the darkest “DOWN” periods that you faced. My dear friend the key is to take sustained action towards your dreams and goals. You can bring back the rain in your life when you rekindle the passion in your heart and mind. Repeat the following as often as you can today. I will attack each day with a positive attitude. I will not let setbacks and barriers force me back into hibernation. I know that each time I fade under pressure I stifle the potential of the millions of seeds of joy and creativity in my heart that relying on my persistence. See the following image in your head while you repeat these words of wisdom.
Stop blaming everybody for your failures. You are ultimately in control of your own destiny. There is a fallacy that it is a disgrace to fail. Failure is not the end of the road, but simply an indicator that you still have certain lessons to learn. Failure is your built in alarm system that detects when you need to put in some additional work in a specific area. It is not the kiss of death to your hopes and dreams.
Stop calling it bad luck or some kind of conspiracy when you are actually the one that gave up on your dreams. Dreams without a constructive plan action are a total waste of time. Dreams can be compared to a seed. Only when this seed is watered (action) and nurtured (work) will it turn into a mature plant that can feed your family.
Stop focusing on your own needs for a while if you want to expand your influence at a rapid and spectacular pace. Only when you sincerely become interested in people will you see, feel, and hear who they really are. Our minds are so flooded with prejudice and preconceived perceptions that our mental growth is put on hold at a very young age. We lost our ability to listen a long time ago and only give attention to what others say when we feel that there might be something for us in the deal.
Stop taking people, your goals and projects so seriously. I found that a focused approach and a “no fear of loss” attitude take you a long way towards a successful and happy life. How can you enjoy your successes if you never knew failure? Give things your best shot and go for gold every time. You will win some and lose some, but you will feel alive and part of the game of life. Learn to say, “so what” when things fail to work out as expected. Learn to see the humour in your failures. Remember when you cry, you cry alone.
Stop waiting for others to earn your approval and love. Go out and show your love for others unconditionally. It is your fear that is holding you back. Take off your protective gear and show your feelings my friend or you will never experience real happiness and true love. It takes courage to expose yourself to potential rejection and failure, but champions do not succumb to their fear!
Stop wasting your time trying to understand why people act the way they do. They are inhabitants of the outer world. You have ownership and control of your own world, but not of the outer world. You will tire and deplete yourself in the process and set yourself up for failure if you attempt to control or adjust the outer world. Accept that no permanent control is possible in the outer world. The governments, police and the armies of all the nations on the planet cannot fully control this world’s inhabitants. What makes you think that you can?
INTEGRITY IS VITAL IF YOU WANT TO EXERT INFLUENCE IN YOUR PERSONAL OR BUSINESS LIFE
.
Many years ago I attended a seminar and heard the following story told by one of the lecturers. He told us a long-winded story about how he visited a farm where they breed and feed turkeys for the table. He apparently overheard two turkeys chatting about how much they loved and cherished the life on the farm. One mentioned how he enjoyed the wonderful clean mountain air while the other found the food and facilities outstanding. They also expressed their love and admiration for the farmer and the people that worked in their pens. There was one puzzling aspect about the life in this turkey “heaven” that worried one of the turkeys slightly. One day while they were busy feeding on the abundance of food available he shared the following with one of his fellow turkey friends. He said, “I hope that you will not think less of me or think that I am ungrateful, but I find it difficult to figure out why the farmer is so good to us.” “He is always there for us”. “When one of us feel sick he is quickly taken to the vet. He generally goes out of his way to make our stay here on the farm a wonderful experience.” “The farmer is almost to good to be true”, he mumbled as an after thought. “I have a feeling that there is something seriously wrong, but I am unable to lay my finger on it.”
The reason why I am sharing this story with you is because there are lots of people that use our vulnerability and their influence, position and status in a similar manner. They feed us with BS; they are also often too good to be true, just like the farmer in the story. They often in a heartless manner set us up for the slaughter. They set us up and make us vulnerable by using help, lunches, support and favours as their tools. for these unscrupulous operators (farmer).
.
I WILL NOT BECOME ANY PERSON’S TURKEY. I WILL NOT ALLOW UNSCRUPULOUS PEOPLE (FARMERS) TO SET ME UP FOR FAILURE
.
If you want to really exert a strong influence over people, you will have to learn the value of real integrity and sincerity. If I am allowed to select only one element that provided you with strong influence over others I will select unconditional integrity. If you think that you can use the fake sincerity used by the turkey farmer in our story you are setting yourself up for failure. Fake sincerity only provides you with short-term results. You might catch a few suckers now and then, but in the long-term, you will become a victim of your own deviousness. Once you become known as a “turkey farmer”, you might as well move to another province or country. Your reputation as turkey farmer will spread like wild fire and people will avoid you like the plague.
Influence built on sincerity and integrity is lasting. If you become known, as a person of your word people will stand in line to do business with you. Just watch the Jerry Springer show if you want to see the result of insincere, friendships and relationship. You will night after night see how people that have been fed with BS by an insincere partner (turkey farmer) destroy the hopes and dreams of girlfriends and lovers (turkeys). It is almost pathetic to see how streams of vulnerable people come to their final emotional demise on this show. If you want to build a strong long-term influence base, sincere integrity will get you there every time.
Stop blaming everybody for your failures. You are ultimately in control of your own destiny. There is a fallacy that it is a disgrace to fail. Failure is not the end of the road, but simply an indicator that you still have certain lessons to learn. Failure is your built in alarm system that detects when you need to put in some additional work in a specific area. It is not the kiss of death to your hopes and dreams.
Stop calling it bad luck or some kind of conspiracy when you are actually the one that gave up on your dreams. Dreams without a constructive plan action are a total waste of time. Dreams can be compared to a seed. Only when this seed is watered (action) and nurtured (work) will it turn into a mature plant that can feed your family.
Stop focusing on your own needs for a while if you want to expand your influence at a rapid and spectacular pace. Only when you sincerely become interested in people will you see, feel, and hear who they really are. Our minds are so flooded with prejudice and preconceived perceptions that our mental growth is put on hold at a very young age. We lost our ability to listen a long time ago and only give attention to what others say when we feel that there might be something for us in the deal.
Stop taking people, your goals and projects so seriously. I found that a focused approach and a “no fear of loss” attitude take you a long way towards a successful and happy life. How can you enjoy your successes if you never knew failure? Give things your best shot and go for gold every time. You will win some and lose some, but you will feel alive and part of the game of life. Learn to say, “so what” when things fail to work out as expected. Learn to see the humour in your failures. Remember when you cry, you cry alone.
Stop waiting for others to earn your approval and love. Go out and show your love for others unconditionally. It is your fear that is holding you back. Take off your protective gear and show your feelings my friend or you will never experience real happiness and true love. It takes courage to expose yourself to potential rejection and failure, but champions do not succumb to their fear!
Stop wasting your time trying to understand why people act the way they do. They are inhabitants of the outer world. You have ownership and control of your own world, but not of the outer world. You will tire and deplete yourself in the process and set yourself up for failure if you attempt to control or adjust the outer world. Accept that no permanent control is possible in the outer world. The governments, police and the armies of all the nations on the planet cannot fully control this world’s inhabitants. What makes you think that you can?
Everyday you make a thousand choices. You choose what to wear, where to go, who to meet, what to eat and what to do. MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, YOU decide WHAT TO THINK. One thing is sure and that is that your day will not be better than your thoughts. ...................
Just close your eyes for a moment and see if you can visualise this open toolbox and if you can see the hundreds of tools that are neatly placed in this toolbox. Now look if you can see the maker’s name on these tools. The creator of these tools (thoughts and perceptions) is you. You created thousands of thoughts and perceptions (tools) about everything since your childhood. ..................
When confronted with any situation or problem you reach into this toolbox and take out what you think the most appropriate tool would be and then attempt to fix the problem. It is estimated that your mind thinks at least 2,500 thoughts an hour. Every thought that you think is a tool (perception) that you have that you imagine would work best under specific circumstances. This thought process continues day and night and will do so for the rest of your life. .....................................
I am convinced that we think ourselves to a standstill. We never stop playing with these tools in our toolbox and can hardly ever really relax for a while. If we are not faced with a problem or task that needs completion we still continue to take out these tools and mentally rehears and contemplate how we will use them should something that we fear become a reality. ............................
We are forever thinking and scheming and never become still and tranquil inside. Our bodies might seem relaxed, but deep inside our heads this thought process continues churning around. What I am most worried about is that most of the tools that you have in your toolbox are very old and outdated. .......................
Many of the opportunities, problems and obstructions that you face daily cannot be repaired while you are using old and outdated tools. If you take a modern mechanic’s toolbox and you place the toolbox of a mechanic of fifty years ago next to it you will find that there are major discrepancies. When you are confronted with something that needs repair and you do not have the right tool for the task at hand it can be very frustrating. We usually improvise and try using some other tools and hope that it will also get the job done. ........................
When you are faced with a problem you need to select the right tool for the task at hand. If you do not have the tool in your toolbox it can complicate your life. What most people seem to ignore is that it is sometimes better not to reach for your toolbox when faced with a problem. Sometimes you need time to pass or need to leave the problem with its rightful owner. How well you use your tools is usually reflected in the world you see around you. What would you do if you were faced with any or all of the following? .........................
You get a flat tire on your way to an important customer or meeting. You can fall apart, develop a migraine and think that life is against you or you can take out the right tools (patience and reality) and take care of the problem in a relaxed manner. ........................
You have been working on the computer for hours and suddenly lose all your work. You can drop dead with a heart attack; think that God hates you or you can take out the right tool (sanity and reality) and begin over and this time remember to make a backup of your work. ....................
A lover or wife possibly cheated on you. You can go crazy and get an assassin to take out the potential threat to your relationship, think that you are a failure or you can take out the right tool (no fear of loss) and get on with your life. .......................
When you have the right tools in your toolbox it makes life a lot easier. The choices we make are vital in our lives. The more quality choices we make during any given day the higher the probability of success and peace of mind. ................
I suggest that you equip your toolbox with the best tools you can lay your hands on. It is important to upgrade if you discover that one of your tools are outdated or that a more modern version is available. How would you react if your TV packed up and a technician that obviously knows very little about electronics arrived at your house with only a sledgehammer and a few other primitive tools in his toolbox? I am sure that you will send him away and find someone better qualified and equipped for the task. .....................
You might sometimes be like this incompetent and poorly equipped technician indicated above if you do not often update your tools (thoughts) in your toolbox. You can also have all the right tools in your toolbox and never use them because you are afraid that you might make a mistake. ..................
You must remember that happiness and success is always just one thought (tool) away. You should remember when you find it difficult to cope with something that one new tool (thought) could change your life. One fresh thought and one new idea can change your life from pain and suffering to success and peace of mind. ........................
You are today what you were programmed with yesterday. The choices that you make on a moment-to-moment basis decide your fate and future. You can never feel or perform better than the ongoing thoughts and feelings that you allow to occupy your mind! .......................
The mistake we make is that most of us live our lives on a reactive basis. We start and complete our day in a reactive state of being. Something comes to our attention via our five senses or via a thought in our mind. We automatically slip into the “role” that we created for ourselves many moons ago. We act, react and experience the same feelings and emotions that we embedded with our scrip at its inception. We do exactly the same when new stimuli push the previous “drama” off the stage in our minds. We sustain this reactive mode of thinking until we finally go to bed at night. Most of our days are made up of a tapestry of “roles” that we played in our own colorful way. It is important to understand that nothing is going to change until we do something different. We cannot repeat the same old recipes and expect a different outcome. ....................
You can use the “Portable Life Skills Wisdom” book to develop a range of appropriate scripts that you can use when you are faced with a problem or project that need your attention. You will if you apply the scripts in this book find that you no longer run your life on a reactive basis. The new scripts will help you to live your life in the moment. You will become more realistic. You will treat each event on its own merit. How do you do this? ......................
The Process ....................
Read the first message in your book. Write it down if at all possible. It will assist you to absorb the data provided. Now sit back and close your eyes and visualize how you will apply the specific message in the various areas of your life. See yourself on the screen of your mind using the message in all your day-to-day activities. It is important to attempt to feel and experience the benefits that this new mode of thinking will bring into your life. Do this for ten minutes. Then open your eyes and begin to apply the wisdom on all occasions where appropriate in your activities on that given day. ...........................
Proceed to do the same with second message etc. in your book tomorrow. You will upload almost a thousand powerful recipes if you sustain the process indicated above. You can in less than three years upload a powerful “tool” system that will serve you for the rest of your life. This can be a life changing experience if you apply it daily. You will discover that the ten minutes you invest daily will upload countless new strategies into your subconscious computer. Build a successful and happy life. The key however is action. You can have the best tools available to man and still fail if you don’t use them daily. Wishing you the very best with this endeavor. .............................
Daily Support System (This Blog) ................
You not only have the massive key ideas in the book that you can use when appropriate you also receive daily posts on a wide range of subjects that will expand this system to a level never offered before. Visit this blog daily for fresh new ideas with a sprinkle of historical wisdom that stood the test of time. ..........................
Rene
PORTABLE LIFE SKILLS DAILY WISDOM GUIDE 