We live in a “button” pushing society today. We all have a natural tendency to push back when we feel someone activated one of our “hot buttons”. We allow people to trigger, anger, anxiety, fear of loss, discomfort in us daily with what they say, do or fail to say and do. The only way that you can get the habitual button pushers out of your life are to stop reacting and responding on their triggers.
We live our lives on a reactive basis. The reason for this mode of thinking is that we spend the best part of our day in “auto” mode. We react without thinking almost all the time. Our sub-conscious mind cannot reason when a request comes in via our five senses. Our sub-conscious minds can only draw from its historical perceptions and belief systems that it formed during early childhood. That is why we often make decisions
The fact of the matter is that people will continue to push your buttons and they will continue to control you and your emotions while you automatically respond to their silly games. I would suggest that you take a few days and observe how you act and react mechanically when your partner, friends or even strangers say or do something that trigger a negative emotional responds in you. Do not judge yourself or the button pushers.
When triggered hit the PAUSE (stop) button and simply become an observer. Just relax and say, do or think nothing. Just breathe in a relaxed and normal manner until you feel that whatever triggered you subsided. Do not jump to conclusions. Treat each case/event on its own merit. Stay in the moment and don’t allow your old and often outdated reaction patterns to influence you. Each event (trigger) is different. It is silly to let your old habitual reaction patterns tarnish the current moment. An inappropriate reaction could cause you discomfort and loss and activate a domino effect that could continue for years.
The “button pushers” in your life domesticated you to react and respond in a specific manner to enhance their control. Watch their faces and listen to their tone of voice when you stop reacting the way you have been trained. You will be surprised how quickly they will stop this destructive habit.
The simple art of detachment from your habitual reaction patterns can change your life. When you learn to let go you bring a brand new dimension into your life. Learn to detach and let go when anyone, yes even someone in the traffic push your buttons. You will be happier, healthier and will most probably live longer as well.
Negative and destructive thoughts can also be arrested using the same method. When you become anxious or uptight – pause and stop mentally delving into the past or projecting horror stories into your future. Focus on the reality of your current moment and deal with it on its own merit.
The void between races has been around for as long as we care to remember. This void will not heal until we stop looking at races on a cluster basis. We look at individuals through a filter system that have been installed in us since early childhood. Race profiling based on outdated and often defective belief systems drove a wedge between tribes and nations. It is unfair and short-sighted to paint everyone with a different skin colour than yours with the same brush. We need to urgently begin to view each person on merit in the moment. We need to stop seeking revenge for perceived atrocities or unfair behaviour by earlier regimes or generations. We will not remove this festering wound that rots the souls of nations until we move on. The only way to overcome this unproductive and destructive habit of racial or for that matter any profiling is to close the book on yesterday. We must immediately PAUSE when we get one of our racial profiling attacks. It is imperative to regain our composure. We need to address each person notwithstanding his/her colour or nationality in the moment without the toxic contamination of our belief systems. You might after an objective evaluation or because of the current unacceptable behaviour of a person decide not to befriend, assist or help such person. You must still refrain judging everyone with a similar skin colour or nationality. One or two bad apples will not motivate you to uproot the tree. Why then condemn a whole tribe or nation? Remember: PAUSE regain your composure when triggered and manage each individual/event on merit.
YOUR MIND IS FULL OF THOUGHTS OF LOVE, JUDGEMENT, PEACE, FEAR, GRACE, GUILT, JOY, ANGER, FORGIVENESS, ATTACK, LAUGHTER, WORK, PLAY, KINDNESS, ISOLATION AND ONENESS ETC!
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YOUR HEAD IS LIKE A TOOLBOX: Everyday you make a thousand choices. You choose what to wear, where to go, who to meet, what to eat and what to do. MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, YOU decide WHAT TO THINK. One thing is sure and that is that your day will not be better than you thoughts.
Just close your eyes for a moment and see if you can visualise this open toolbox and if you can see the hundreds of tools that are neatly placed in this toolbox. Now look if you can see the maker’s name on these tools. The creator of these tools (thoughts and perceptions) is you. You created thousands of thoughts and perceptions (tools) about everything since your childhood.
When confronted with any situation or problem you reach into this toolbox and take out what you think the most appropriate tool and attempt to fix the problem. It is estimated that your mind thinks at least 2,500 thoughts an hour. Every thought that you think is a tool (perception) that you have that you imagine would work best under specific circumstances. This thought process continue day and night and will do so for the rest of your life.
I am convinced that we think ourselves to a standstill. We never stop playing with these tools in our toolbox and can hardly ever really relax for a while. If we are not faced with a problem or task that needs completion we still continue to take out these tools and mentally rehears and contemplate how we will use them should something that we fear become a reality.
We are forever thinking and scheming and never become still and tranquil inside. Our bodies might seem relaxed, but deep inside our heads this thought process continues churning around. What I am most worried about is that most of the tools that you have in our toolboxes is very old and outdated.
Many of the modern problems that you face cannot be repaired using these tools. If you take a modern mechanic’s toolbox and you place the toolbox of a mechanic of fifty years ago next to it you will find that there are major discrepancies. When you are confronted with something that needs repair and you do not have the right tool for the task at hand it can be very frustrating. We usually improvise and try using some other tool and hope that it will also get the job done.
When you are faced with a problem you need to select the right mental tool for the task at hand. If you do not have the tool in your toolbox it can complicate your life. What most people seem to ignore is that it is sometimes better not to reach for your toolbox when faced with a problem. Sometimes you need time to pass or need to leave the problem with its rightful owner. How well you use your tools is usually reflected in the world you see around you. What would you do if you were faced with any or all of the following?
You get a flat tire on your way to an important customer or meeting. You can fall apart, develop a migraine and think that life is against you or you can take out the right tools (patience and reality) and take care of the problem in a relaxed manner.
You have been working on the computer for hours and suddenly lose all your work. You can drop dead with a heart attack, think that God hates you or you can take out the right tool (sanity and reality) and begin over again and remember this time to make a backup your work.
A lover or wife possibly cheated on you. You can go crazy and get an assassin to take her potential lover out, think that you are a failure or you can take out the right tool (no fear of loss) and get on with your life.
When you have the right tools in your toolbox it makes life a lot easier. The choices we make are vital in our lives. The more quality choices we make during any given day the higher the probability of success and peace of mind.
I suggest that you equip your toolbox with the best tools you can lay your hands on. If you discover that one of your tools are outdated or that a more modern version is available. How would you react if your TV packed up and a technician that obviously knows very little about electronics arrived at your house with only a sledgehammer and a few other primitive tools in his toolbox? I am sure that you will send him away and find someone better qualified and equipped for the task.
You might sometimes be like this incompetent and poorly equipped technician indicated above if you do not often update your tools (thoughts) in your toolbox. You can also have all the right tools in your toolbox and never use them because you are afraid that you might make a mistake.
You must remember that happiness and success is always just one thought (tool) away. You should remember when you find it difficult to cope with something that one new tool (thought) could change your life. One fresh thought and one new idea can change your life from pain and suffering to success and peace of mind.
You are what you think. Your choices that you make on a moment-to-moment basis decide your fate and future. You are really what you think. You can never feel or perform better than the ongoing thoughts that you allow to occupy your mind!
What would the implications be if we discovered that God want or need nothing from nobody? I know some of the readers may experience feelings of anxiety, fear, anger or even panic when they attempt to contemplate what might look like a preposterous statement far removed from the historical “God perceptions” that we grew up with. What would have happened to mankind if they discovered a long time ago that God actually never needed or expected anything from anyone?
Would there have been any meaningful theology?
Would there have been any churches?
Would there have been the endless number of religions and spiritual movements with all their individual dogmas?
Would there have been the ongoing love – fear relationships that many still experience today when they think of the God concept promoted by their church?
Would there have been fear of death, hell and Satan?
Would there have been fear of old age?
Would there have been the religious wars where many millions were killed in the name of various Gods?
Would there have been a Roman Catholic, Christian and a Muslim Movements that boast with billions of followers?
The reason why many of us still insist that God have always had strict requirements is because in some peculiar way it provides us with a sense of worthiness. Some might even reason that they will have to become atheists if they bought into the idea that God needs nothing from nobody. The idea never cross their mind that most of the God perceptions that they cling to were planted in their heads when still very young.
Churches, clergy, priests, emperors, kings etc. worked themselves into a very powerful and influential position by claiming that they are the earthly representatives of some or other God. They revealed hundreds of laws, rules, regulations and expectations that the God according to their perception of Him insist that must be enforced to make Him happy and assist Him to remain composed and not lose His cool. The prescriptions were always linked to dire warnings that, if ignored or not address to the letter would result in serious punishment in the near future or in some kind of afterlife. These warning included predictions of death, destruction, famine, droughts and hardship. These predictions were initially enough to control their followers and keep them subservient. It later became necessary to turn up the heat regarding God’s expectations and needs. This is where those that thought that they might get away with disobedience to God’s commands (like totally wiping out a so-called pagan nation) discovered that God also have a record keeping system and a court of law in heaven that is waiting for those that failed to fulfil the stipulated requirements when they die . The concept of Hell and everlasting damnation after death tightened the screws of control to a level where most in a sheep like manner remain loyal to the church.
The endless laws, rules and regulations continued to flow from God through so-called inspired individuals until Constantine decided to collate a book (The Bible). All the mystical inspired chats between God and the authors suddenly dried up. Not a single person according to this philosophy have been inspire after this event. God vanished from the stage of life and apparently retreated to his heavenly abode. The clergy however kept churning out endless often self-serving commands by interpreting the historical laws and commandments and in this manner kept the upper hand, power and money flowing.
Stop for a moment and think about the statements that I made above. Let us play for a moment with the idea that God never demanded anything from anyone. What would the implications be if man made Gods for themselves in their own image? What would the implications be if the depictions of the Gods were wrong and that God never insisted on the endless range of requirements now cast in stone in their Holy Books? What if the real God (life force) never meddled with man and allowed each individual to work out his own fate and future on a moment to moment basis with the choices he or she make? What if God gave man free will to make any choice and never metered out any punishment, but like a good parent allows His now physically mature children to learn via their own mistakes? Do not reject this option. Think about it for a moment and you will discover that a million and one things that might have bothered you about your current God concept now suddenly fall into place.
Everyone has one common goal in life: to achieve true happiness. The biggest factor holding us back from achieving our dreams is, simply and sadly, our own selves. We put limitations on ourselves everyday, whether intentionally or unintentionally. There are so many ways we can alleviate these restraints.
Remember, life can either be something you embrace or something you hide from. Stop making things complicated and just live your life. It would be so much simpler and more enjoyable if we learned to just release certain limitations.
Let’s take a look at the things you need to let go of in order to become a happier person.
1. The Approval Of Others
Who gives a sh*t what other people think? If you are happy with the decisions you have made, then whose business is that but your own? Think of how much you could achieve if you stopped letting other people’s opinions dictate the way you live your life. Do you, and engage in whatever actions you think might better your life.
2. Anger/Resentment
Anger will eat at you from the inside. Learn how to make peace with those who have wronged you. This isn’t about letting the other person off the hook; it’s about alleviating the pain that resonates within you. Keep in mind that he who angers you, controls you.
3. Negative Body Image
There is only one person’s opinion you should be concerned with when it comes to your body and that is you. No one person determines what the “correct” body type is. If you are comfortable in your own skin, and you are healthy, then that should be the only thing that matters. Do not let others tell you that you’re not beautiful because if you believe you are, then you are.
4. Idea Of A Perfect Partner
There is no such thing as a perfect partner, so throw your checklist out the window. In life, what prevents us from moving forward is looking at the perfect image of a partner we concoct in our minds. Find the right person for you: one that you can love with all your heart, one you feel comfortable with and one that accepts you for the person you are. The sooner you realize there isn’t one perfect person out there for you, the better off you will be.
“He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.” – Bob Marley
5. Perfect Life
Just like there is no perfect partner, there is also not a perfect life. Life is what you put into it, so if you are not willing to work hard and put forth effort, you will most likely end up miserable. The choices you make will directly reflect the life you lead. It is up to you to create the best possible world for yourself.
6. You’re Going To Be Rich
Too many people live their lives with the thought that they will be millionaires. While this can be a realistic goal for some, it is not something that can be achieved without hard work and dedication. Stop letting money be your sole motivator; find a career you are passionate about and immerse yourself in it completely.
7. The Idea That Good Fortune Will Arrive At Your Doorstep
You need to go out into the world and actively look for fulfillment. You cannot take a backseat in life and expect things to happen for you. Appreciate the life you live, and be grateful for what you have. Value each minute of every day. Live like there’s no tomorrow, and make the most out of any situation.
8. Excuses
Make no time for excuses. You want to work out, but you don’t have the time? Wake up early and get your gym on. Excuses are only rationalizations that make you feel better about yourself for not doing something you want/need to be doing. You desire results? Stop bitching, and start doing.
9. Thoughts Of Your Ex
This person is your ex for a reason. If you are going to think of him or her at all, try and think only about the lessons the experience taught you. Do not linger on any old feelings, as this will only prevent you from being happy with someone else in the future.
10. Stubbornness
I know it’s hard to admit, but sometimes you are just wrong. Other people have just as much capability as you do in providing the correct answer, so stop being stubborn and just embrace it. The less stubborn you act, the more open you are to learning new things. Think of all you could be exposed to if you stopped believing in opinions other than your own.
11. Procrastination
Stop thinking you will finally get to whatever task is at hand tomorrow. Live in the present, and get your sh*t done when it needs to be done. Maximize your time to the best of your ability. Complete each task you need to as soon as you can. This allows you to feel free from worry and stress by getting things out of the way as soon as possible. You also allow yourself more free time to enjoy the things you love.
12. Your Baggage
We have all been hurt one time or another by someone we loved, or we thought we loved. Carrying negative feelings into future relationships will only prove to be disastrous. No two people are the same, so it’s unfair to hold a future partner to a standard set by an ex. Try to begin each new relationship with a clean slate.
13. Negativity
What you put out into the universe will come back to you, so change the way you think, immediately. Stop thinking of life as a glass half empty, but rather, half full. You have so much to be grateful for, if only you took a moment to appreciate it. Anything is possible in the mind of a positive thinker.
14. Judgmental Thoughts
Why do people feel the need to constantly worry about what is going on in other people’s lives? If we spent as much time worrying about our own behaviors as we do worrying about those of others, our lives would be a whole lot more meaningful. You have no idea what is going on in another person’s life, so who are you to pass judgment on the way they act?
15. Jealousy
Happiness is not having what you want; it’s wanting what you have. Stop envying others and learn to appreciate what you have. Everyone’s life is unique; you have certain things to offer that others cannot. When we act in a jealous manner, all we do is bring negative feelings into our lives. There is absolutely nothing to gain from behaving this way.
16. Insecurity
Happy people tend to have extremely high levels of self-esteem. They accept who they are and work it everyday of their lives. They radiate confidence, flaunt their pride and give off positive vibes. There is no reason to be insecure in life. If there are things you are self-conscious about, go out into the world and seek to change them. Only you have the ability to create the best version of yourself.
17. Depending On Others For Happiness
At the end of the day, the only person you can count on 100 percent of the time is yourself. Do not make the unfortunate mistake many people do and put your happiness in the hands of others. A relationship is not going to fulfill the void if you can’t even make yourself happy. You need to achieve happiness on your own before you can find someone else to share it with. This creates a detrimental dependency that will prevent you from becoming self-sufficient.
18. The Past
Stop living in the past! There is virtually nothing you can gain if you wallow in mistakes you have previously made. Take past mistakes as lessons learned, and move forward. You cannot wholeheartedly move on to a better future if you are constantly looking behind you. Things happened, and that’s that. Take them with a grain of salt and move on.
19. The Need For Control
Sometimes you just need to let life happen the way it is meant to. You cannot spend your life stressing about things that are outside of your control. Try to relax, and let things play out naturally. Embrace the unknown, as this is where you will be surprised the most. Let yourself be whisked into unforeseen endeavors, and relish in the excitement they bring.
20. Expectations
Managing your expectations is the key to happiness. If you let go of expectations, you will never be disappointed. Often, we tend to believe that the way we treat others will be the way we are treated in return. Unfortunately, this does not always happen. Do not expect a certain result from any given situations. Go into an experience with an open mind. This will allow you to fully immerse yourself, without the pressure of living up to preconceived notions.
We live in a “button” pushing society today. We all have a natural tendency to push back when we feel someone activated one of our “hot buttons”. We allow people to trigger, anger, anxiety, fear of loss, discomfort in us daily with what they say, do or fail to say and do. The only way that you can get the habitual button pushers out of your life are to stop reacting and responding on their triggers.
We live our lives on a reactive basis. The reason for this mode of thinking is that we spend the best part of our day in “auto” mode. We react without thinking almost all the time. Our sub-conscious mind cannot reason when a request comes in via our five senses. Our sub-conscious minds can only draw from its historical perceptions and belief systems that it formed during early childhood. That is why we often make decisions
The fact of the matter is that people will continue to push your buttons and they will continue to control you and your emotions while you automatically respond to their silly games. I would suggest that you take a few days and observe how you act and react mechanically when your partner, friends or even strangers say or do something that trigger a negative emotional responds in you. Do not judge yourself or the button pushers.
When triggered hit the PAUSE (stop) button and simply become an observer. Just relax and say, do or think nothing. Just breathe in a relaxed and normal manner until you feel that whatever triggered you subsided. Do not jump to conclusions. Treat each case/event on its own merit. Stay in the moment and don’t allow your old and often outdated reaction patterns to influence you. Each event (trigger) is different. It is silly to let your old habitual reaction patterns tarnish the current moment. An inappropriate reaction could cause you discomfort and loss and activate a domino effect that could continue for years.
The “button pushers” in your life domesticated you to react and respond in a specific manner to enhance their control. Watch their faces and listen to their tone of voice when you stop reacting the way you have been trained. You will be surprised how quickly they will stop this destructive habit.
The simple art of detachment from your habitual reaction patterns can change your life. When you learn to let go you bring a brand new dimension into your life. Learn to detach and let go when anyone, yes even someone in the traffic push your buttons. You will be happier, healthier and will most probably live longer as well.
Negative and destructive thoughts can also be arrested using the same method. When you become anxious or uptight – pause and stop mentally delving into the past or projecting horror stories into your future. Focus on the reality of your current moment and deal with it on its own merit.
The void between races has been around for as long as we care to remember. This void will not heal until we stop looking at races on a cluster basis. We look at individuals through a filter system that have been installed in us since early childhood. Race profiling based on outdated and often defective belief systems drove a wedge between tribes and nations. It is unfair and short-sighted to paint everyone with a different skin colour than yours with the same brush. We need to urgently begin to view each person on merit in the moment. We need to stop seeking revenge for perceived atrocities or unfair behaviour by earlier regimes or generations. We will not remove this festering wound that rots the souls of nations until we move on. The only way to overcome this unproductive and destructive habit of racial or for that matter any profiling is to close the book on yesterday. We must immediately PAUSE when we get one of our racial profiling attacks. It is imperative to regain our composure. We need to address each person notwithstanding his/her colour or nationality in the moment without the toxic contamination of our belief systems. You might after an objective evaluation or because of the current unacceptable behaviour of a person decide not to befriend, assist or help such person. You must still refrain judging everyone with a similar skin colour or nationality. One or two bad apples will not motivate you to uproot the tree. Why then condemn a whole tribe or nation? Remember: PAUSE regain your composure when triggered and manage each individual/event on merit.
An untrained mind does not have a self-regulating system. An untrained mind can be compared to the weather that we experience daily. When specific circumstances combine we experience a thunderstorm. We have no control over a thunderstorm and can only wait for the storm to pass. The same holds true for those that don’t have a control system in their head. They “spontaneously” allow any thought or feeling to flood their mind. Negative rampant thoughts often produce anger and pain, not only for the angry person, but also for the recipients of his or her anger. Most of our negative and destructive behaviour that we display daily can be compared to the thunderstorm example I used earlier. Many labour under the misconception that they have no control over these waves of emotional “weather” that mystically appear and take over their behaviour. We make out as if we are a helpless victim of these anger or sarcasm storms that we rain down on family, friends and even strangers. We justify our cutting remarks or unacceptable behaviour by pacifying ourselves with excuses like, “I would never have lost my cool or behave in the manner I did if he or she did not say or do what they did.” Our automatic reactions come from a very primitive part of our brain. These are remnants of instinctive reaction patterns that we used while we were still living in caves and daily struggled to fend off predators with bad intentions. Some of us evolved during this period and gradually developed a control mechanism that now regulates these primitive and destructive moods and reactions. What we need to understand is that what anyone said or did have absolutely no power until we retaliate. What this person said or did will drift past like a cloud if we just observe it and let it move over our heads. Our objective is to fully develop the control system in our head to a level where we can show compassion and love notwithstanding the circumstances that we are confronted with. All religions on this planet promote this behaviour. What others say or do have no power to hurt you or to diminish your self-esteem in any way. The solution is not to panic when confronted with situations that cause you discomfort. They say patience is a virtue. The key is to simply observe and to investigate where these feelings come from. We will always discover that the painful feelings is not generated by (for example) the angry person, but comes from somewhere inside us. It is a cocktail of chemicals released by our brains that produce the fear, anger and desire to retaliate. We have been using pre-programmed reaction patterns that come from more primitive and barbaric times. We never question our reactions. We believe that the feelings that flood our minds are real. There are no feelings and no pain until we attach to a thought or a trigger. Why are we happy and relaxed until something or someone trigger a negative memory or feeling in us? We are composed because the feelings and reactions in our sub-conscious mind remain dormant, powerless until we allow them to be turned on. Remember you are in control of your mind and not a defenceless victim that is obliged to sing and dance when you hear the bell.
In the Western world we’re taught to perceive time based on the clock ticking forward linearly.
However, spiritual wisdom challenges this notion through the possibility of parallel universes and time travel. And while we may not be able to magically click our heels and end up in a different time and place, we can allow our minds the joy of time travel by visualizing and creating the type of existence we seek to have.
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1) Change the Meaning of the Past
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Dr. Fred Alan Wolf, theoretical physicist specializing in quantum physics, suggests that when we forgive ourselves and others, we are literally time traveling.
This is because we are travelling with our mind, back into the past and then changing an imprint or meaning we gave to an event. And by changing a meaning or our perspective, we change our world.
For example, when we feel anger or resentment towards another, or to life in general, we carry this feeling forward through time and create a future that attracts such feelings too.
So forgiveness isn’t about making another person right, it’s about saying you will not take your suffering forward with you into the future.
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2) Jump Into the Future
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When you visualize the life you want to live, you’re sending that message to the Universe and stating the type of future you desire to have.
And with so many realms of the Universe being unknown, including that of parallel universes, it’s exciting to visualize and connect with a “greater you” in the Universe, and then project this person into your future.
As through this visualization process and the Law of Attraction, and the more you focus on the type of future you want (and who you want to be), the stronger that possibility becomes.
This is the fun that comes from living the “wish fulfilled,” as by imagining the future you would like to play a part in, and feeling the gratitude as if it existed right now, you can let go and make choices that move you in that direction.
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3) Embrace the Now
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Have you ever experienced moments where you’ve been so consumed by creativity that the passing of time has only seemed like minutes, when in fact, it’s been hours because you lost your perception of time?
So when we allow our minds to venture off into a creative space, without looking at the time (and when free from the ego), our minds connect with the divine power that resides within us and time travels to another place.
According to Indian sage, Patanjali, there are even more joys and ways to experience “time travel” as we progress along our path of inner knowing. But for now, use your days to transcend time with some of the above suggestions, and become your own quantum creator.
What would the implications be if we discovered that God want or need nothing from nobody? I know some of the readers may experience feelings of anxiety, fear, anger or even panic when they attempt to contemplate what might look like a preposterous statement far removed from the historical “God perceptions” that we grew up with. What would have happened to mankind if they discovered a long time ago that God actually never needed or expected anything from anyone?
Would there have been any meaningful theology?
Would there have been any churches?
Would there have been the endless number of religions and spiritual movements with all their individual dogmas?
Would there have been the ongoing love – fear relationships that many still experience today when they think of the God concept promoted by their church?
Would there have been fear of death, hell and Satan?
Would there have been fear of old age?
Would there have been the religious wars where many millions were killed in the name of various Gods?
Would there have been a Roman Catholic, Christian and a Muslim Movements that boast with billions of followers?
The reason why many of us still insist that God have always had strict requirements is because in some peculiar way it provides us with a sense of worthiness. Some might even reason that they will have to become atheists if they bought into the idea that God needs nothing from nobody. The idea never cross their mind that most of the God perceptions that they cling to were planted in their heads when still very young.
Churches, clergy, priests, emperors, kings etc. worked themselves into a very powerful and influential position by claiming that they are the earthly representatives of some or other God. They revealed hundreds of laws, rules, regulations and expectations that the God according to their perception of Him insist that must be enforced to make Him happy and assist Him to remain composed and not lose His cool. The prescriptions were always linked to dire warnings that, if ignored or not address to the letter would result in serious punishment in the near future or in some kind of afterlife. These warning included predictions of death, destruction, famine, droughts and hardship. These predictions were initially enough to control their followers and keep them subservient. It later became necessary to turn up the heat regarding God’s expectations and needs. This is where those that thought that they might get away with disobedience to God’s commands (like totally wiping out a so-called pagan nation) discovered that God also have a record keeping system and a court of law in heaven that is waiting for those that failed to fulfil the stipulated requirements when they die . The concept of Hell and everlasting damnation after death tightened the screws of control to a level where most in a sheep like manner remain loyal to the church.
The endless laws, rules and regulations continued to flow from God through so-called inspired individuals until Constantine decided to collate a book (The Bible). All the mystical inspired chats between God and the authors suddenly dried up. Not a single person according to this philosophy have been inspire after this event. God vanished from the stage of life and apparently retreated into his heavenly abode. The clergy however kept churning out endless often self-serving commands by interpreting the historical laws and commandments and in this manner kept the upper hand, power and money flowing.
Stop for a moment and think about the statements that I made above. Let us play for a moment with the idea that God never demanded anything from anyone. What would the implications be if man made Gods for themselves in their own image? What would the implications be if the depictions of the Gods were wrong and that God never insisted on the endless range of requirements now cast in stone in their Holy Books? What if the real God (life force) never meddled with man and allowed each individual to work out his own fate and future on a moment to moment basis with the choices he or she make? What if God gave man free will to make any choice and never metered out any punishment, but like a good parent allows His now physically mature children to learn via their own mistakes? Do not reject this option. Think about it for a moment and you will discover that a million and one things that might have bothered you about your current God concept now suddenly fall into place.
We live in a “button” pushing society today. We all have a natural tendency to push back when we feel someone activated one of our “hot buttons”. We allow people to trigger, anger, anxiety, fear of loss, discomfort in us daily with what they say, do or fail to say and do. The only way that you can get the habitual button pushers out of your life are to stop reacting and responding on their triggers.
We live our lives on a reactive basis. The reason for this mode of thinking is that we spend the best part of our day in “auto” mode. We react without thinking almost all the time. Our sub-conscious mind cannot reason when a request comes in via our five senses. Our sub-conscious minds can only draw from its historical perceptions and belief systems that it formed during early childhood. That is why we often make decisions
The fact of the matter is that people will continue to push your buttons and they will continue to control you and your emotions while you automatically respond to their silly games. I would suggest that you take a few days and observe how you act and react mechanically when your partner, friends or even strangers say or do something that trigger a negative emotional responds in you. Do not judge yourself or the button pushers.
When triggered hit the PAUSE (stop) button and simply become an observer. Just relax and say, do or think nothing. Just breathe in a relaxed and normal manner until you feel that whatever triggered you subsided. Do not jump to conclusions. Treat each case/event on its own merit. Stay in the moment and don’t allow your old and often outdated reaction patterns to influence you. Each event (trigger) is different. It is silly to let your old habitual reaction patterns tarnish the current moment. An inappropriate reaction could cause you discomfort and loss and activate a domino effect that could continue for years.
The “button pushers” in your life domesticated you to react and respond in a specific manner to enhance their control. Watch their faces and listen to their tone of voice when you stop reacting the way you have been trained. You will be surprised how quickly they will stop this destructive habit.
The simple art of detachment from your habitual reaction patterns can change your life. When you learn to let go you bring a brand new dimension into your life. Learn to detach and let go when anyone, yes even someone in the traffic push your buttons. You will be happier, healthier and will most probably live longer as well.
Negative and destructive thoughts can also be arrested using the same method. When you become anxious or uptight – pause and stop mentally delving into the past or projecting horror stories into your future. Focus on the reality of your current moment and deal with it on its own merit.
The void between races has been around for as long as we care to remember. This void will not heal until we stop looking at races on a cluster basis. We look at individuals through a filter system that have been installed in us since early childhood. Race profiling based on outdated and often defective belief systems drove a wedge between tribes and nations. It is unfair and short-sighted to paint everyone with a different skin colour than yours with the same brush. We need to urgently begin to view each person on merit in the moment. We need to stop seeking revenge for perceived atrocities or unfair behaviour by earlier regimes or generations. We will not remove this festering wound that rots the souls of nations until we move on. The only way to overcome this unproductive and destructive habit of racial or for that matter any profiling is to close the book on yesterday. We must immediately PAUSE when we get one of our racial profiling attacks. It is imperative to regain our composure. We need to address each person notwithstanding his/her colour or nationality in the moment without the toxic contamination of our belief systems. You might after an objective evaluation or because of the current unacceptable behaviour of a person decide not to befriend, assist or help such person. You must still refrain judging everyone with a similar skin colour or nationality. One or two bad apples will not motivate you to uproot the tree. Why then condemn a whole tribe or nation? Remember: PAUSE regain your composure when triggered and manage each individual/event on merit.
In the Western world we’re taught to perceive time based on the clock ticking forward linearly.
However, spiritual wisdom challenges this notion through the possibility of parallel universes and time travel. And while we may not be able to magically click our heels and end up in a different time and place, we can allow our minds the joy of time travel by visualizing and creating the type of existence we seek to have.
1) Change the Meaning of the Past
Dr. Fred Alan Wolf, theoretical physicist specializing in quantum physics, suggests that when we forgive ourselves and others, we are literally time traveling.
This is because we are travelling with our mind, back into the past and then changing an imprint or meaning we gave to an event. And by changing a meaning or our perspective, we change our world.
For example, when we feel anger or resentment towards another, or to life in general, we carry this feeling forward through time and create a future that attracts such feelings too.
So forgiveness isn’t about making another person right, it’s about saying you will not take your suffering forward with you into the future.
2) Jump Into the Future
When you visualize the life you want to live, you’re sending that message to the Universe and stating the type of future you desire to have.
And with so many realms of the Universe being unknown, including that of parallel universes, it’s exciting to visualize and connect with a “greater you” in the Universe, and then project this person into your future.
As through this visualization process and the Law of Attraction, and the more you focus on the type of future you want (and who you want to be), the stronger that possibility becomes.
This is the fun that comes from living the “wish fulfilled,” as by imagining the future you would like to play a part in, and feeling the gratitude as if it existed right now, you can let go and make choices that move you in that direction.
3) Embrace the Now
Have you ever experienced moments where you’ve been so consumed by creativity that the passing of time has only seemed like minutes, when in fact, it’s been hours because you lost your perception of time?
So when we allow our minds to venture off into a creative space, without looking at the time (and when free from the ego), our minds connect with the divine power that resides within us and time travels to another place.
According to Indian sage, Patanjali, there are even more joys and ways to experience “time travel” as we progress along our path of inner knowing. But for now, use your days to transcend time with some of the above suggestions, and become your own quantum creator.
Thinking is usually a mixture of words, sentences, mental images and sensations. Thoughts are visitors, who visit the central station of the mind. They come, stay a while and then disappear making space for other thoughts. Some of these thoughts stay longer, gain power and affect the life of the person thinking them.
It seems that most people let thoughts connected with worries, fears, anger or unhappiness occupy their mind most of the time. They keep engaging their mind with inner conversation about negative situations and actions. This inner conversation eventually affects the subconscious mind, making it accept and take seriously the thoughts and ideas expressed in those inner conversations.
It is of vital importance to be careful of what goes into the subconscious mind. Words and thoughts that are repeated often get stronger by the repetitions, sink into the subconscious mind and affect the behavior, actions and reactions of the person involved.
The subconscious mind regards the words and thoughts that get lodged inside it as expressing and describing a real situation, and therefore endeavors to align the words and thoughts with reality. It works diligently to make these words and thoughts a reality in the life of the person saying or thinking them.
This means that if you often tell yourself that it is difficult or impossible to acquire money, the subconscious mind will accept you words and put obstacles in your way. If you keep saying that you are rich, it will find ways to bring you opportunities and push you towards taking advantage of these opportunities.
The thoughts that you express through your words shape your life. This is often done unconsciously, as few pay attention to their thoughts and the words they use while thinking, and let outside circumstances and situations determine what they think about. In this case there is no freedom. Here the outside world affects the inner world.
If you consciously choose the thoughts, phrases and words that you repeat in your mind, your life will start to change. You will begin creating new situations and circumstances. You will be using the power of affirmations.
Affirmations are sentences that are repeated often during the day, and which sink into the subconscious mind, thereby releasing its enormous power to materialize the intention of the words and phrases in the outside world. This does not mean that every word has the power to make changes. The words have to be said with attention and with feeling, in order to trigger the subconscious mind into action.
Affirmations have to be phrased in positive words in order to be effective. Consider the following two sentences:
1. I am not weak anymore.
2. I am strong and powerful.
Though both sentences seem to say the same thing in different words, the first one is a negative sentence. It creates in the mind a mental image of weakness. This is a wrong wording. The second sentence awakens in the mind a mental image of strength.
It is not enough to say an affirmation a few times, and then expect your life to change. More than this is necessary. It is important to affirm with attention, as well as with strong desire, faith and persistence. It is also important to choose the right affirmation for any specific situation. You need to feel comfortable with it; otherwise the affirmation may not work or may bring you something that you do not want.
Affirmations can be used to strengthen the process of creative visualization, and they can be used on their own. They are of special importance for people who find it difficult to visualize. In this case they are a substitution to creative visualization.
Instead of repeating negative and useless words and phrases in the mind, you can choose positive words and phrases to help you build the life you want. By choosing your thoughts and words you exercise control over your life.
Here are a few affirmations:
*Day by day I am becoming happier and more satisfied.
*With every inhalation I am filling myself with happiness.
*Love is filling my life now.
*The power of the Cosmos is filling my life with love.
*A lot of money is flowing now into my life.
*The power of the Universal Mind is now filling my life with wealth.
*The powerful and vital energy of the Cosmos is flowing and filling my body and mind.
*Healing energy is constantly filling every cell of my body.
*I always stay calm and in control of myself, in every situation and in all circumstances.
*I am having a wonderful, happy and fascinating day.
In the Western world we’re taught to perceive time based on the clock ticking forward linearly.
However, spiritual wisdom challenges this notion through the possibility of parallel universes and time travel. And while we may not be able to magically click our heels and end up in a different time and place, we can allow our minds the joy of time travel by visualizing and creating the type of existence we seek to have.
..
1) Change the Meaning of the Past
.
Dr. Fred Alan Wolf, theoretical physicist specializing in quantum physics, suggests that when we forgive ourselves and others, we are literally time traveling.
This is because we are travelling with our mind, back into the past and then changing an imprint or meaning we gave to an event. And by changing a meaning or our perspective, we change our world.
For example, when we feel anger or resentment towards another, or to life in general, we carry this feeling forward through time and create a future that attracts such feelings too.
So forgiveness isn’t about making another person right, it’s about saying you will not take your suffering forward with you into the future.
.
2) Jump Into the Future
.
When you visualize the life you want to live, you’re sending that message to the Universe and stating the type of future you desire to have.
And with so many realms of the Universe being unknown, including that of parallel universes, it’s exciting to visualize and connect with a “greater you” in the Universe, and then project this person into your future.
As through this visualization process and the Law of Attraction, and the more you focus on the type of future you want (and who you want to be), the stronger that possibility becomes.
This is the fun that comes from living the “wish fulfilled,” as by imagining the future you would like to play a part in, and feeling the gratitude as if it existed right now, you can let go and make choices that move you in that direction.
.
3) Embrace the Now
.
Have you ever experienced moments where you’ve been so consumed by creativity that the passing of time has only seemed like minutes, when in fact, it’s been hours because you lost your perception of time?
So when we allow our minds to venture off into a creative space, without looking at the time (and when free from the ego), our minds connect with the divine power that resides within us and time travels to another place.
According to Indian sage, Patanjali, there are even more joys and ways to experience “time travel” as we progress along our path of inner knowing. But for now, use your days to transcend time with some of the above suggestions, and become your own quantum creator.
What would the implications be if we discovered that God want or need nothing from nobody? I know some of the readers may experience feelings of anxiety, fear, anger or even panic when they attempt to contemplate what might look like a preposterous statement far removed from the historical “God perceptions” that we grew up with. What would have happened to mankind if they discovered a long time ago that God actually never needed or expected anything from anyone?
Would there have been any meaningful theology?
Would there have been any churches?
Would there have been the endless number of religions and spiritual movements with all their individual dogmas?
Would there have been the ongoing love – fear relationships that many still experience today when they think of the God concept promoted by their church?
Would there have been fear of death, hell and Satan?
Would there have been fear of old age?
Would there have been the religious wars where many millions were killed in the name of various Gods?
Would there have been a Roman Catholic, Christian and a Muslim Movements that boast with billions of followers?
The reason why many of us still insist that God have always had strict requirements is because in some peculiar way it provides us with a sense of worthiness. Some might even reason that they will have to become atheists if they bought into the idea that God needs nothing from nobody. The idea never cross their mind that most of the God perceptions that they cling to were planted in their heads when still very young.
Churches, clergy, priests, emperors, kings etc. worked themselves into a very powerful and influential position by claiming that they are the earthly representatives of some or other God. They revealed hundreds of laws, rules, regulations and expectations that the God according to their perception of Him insist that must be enforced to make Him happy and assist Him to remain composed and not lose His cool. The prescriptions were always linked to dire warnings that, if ignored or not address to the letter would result in serious punishment in the near future or in some kind of afterlife. These warning included predictions of death, destruction, famine, droughts and hardship. These predictions were initially enough to control their followers and keep them subservient. It later became necessary to turn up the heat regarding God’s expectations and needs. This is where those that thought that they might get away with disobedience to God’s commands (like totally wiping out a so-called pagan nation) discovered that God also have a record keeping system and a court of law in heaven that is waiting for those that failed to fulfil the stipulated requirements when they die . The concept of Hell and everlasting damnation after death tightened the screws of control to a level where most in a sheep like manner remain loyal to the church.
The endless laws, rules and regulations continued to flow from God through so-called inspired individuals until Constantine decided to collate a book (The Bible). All the mystical inspired chats between God and the authors suddenly dried up. Not a single person according to this philosophy have been inspire after this event. God vanished from the stage of life and apparently retreated to his heavenly abode. The clergy however kept churning out endless often self-serving commands by interpreting the historical laws and commandments and in this manner kept the upper hand, power and money flowing.
Stop for a moment and think about the statements that I made above. Let us play for a moment with the idea that God never demanded anything from anyone. What would the implications be if man made Gods for themselves in their own image? What would the implications be if the depictions of the Gods were wrong and that God never insisted on the endless range of requirements now cast in stone in their Holy Books? What if the real God (life force) never meddled with man and allowed each individual to work out his own fate and future on a moment to moment basis with the choices he or she make? What if God gave man free will to make any choice and never metered out any punishment, but like a good parent allows His now physically mature children to learn via their own mistakes? Do not reject this option. Think about it for a moment and you will discover that a million and one things that might have bothered you about your current God concept now suddenly fall into place.
There is a misconception that courageous people fight lions or crocodiles with their bare hands, jump out of planes or over cliffs or play with snakes that could kill them in seconds. It often takes more courage to say something that need to be said than any of the above. A person that lacks courage feel that he/she is up against a solid brick wall when important things need to be expressed that could impact on their relationship.
What such individuals fail to understand is that their lack of courage is creating a void between them and their man/woman. The lack of courage create separation that could in time topple their relationship. The frustration and anger often experienced in relationships can be traced back to a lack of courage. Things become extremely complicated when one of the partners suffer with a lack of courage, but things get worse when both parties lack courage expect their partner to do mind reading.
Direct and fearless communication bring people together and remove the stuff that partners often just speculate about. It is healthy to express negative and positive emotions. There is nothing wrong when you express your anger or frustration as long as it is done in a mature manner. Your partner then get the opportunity to see what is really bothering you and can attempt to rectify possible misunderstandings.
The courage to say how you feel about your partner when it comes to love is vital. It is silly to expect your partner to guess or decode that you love him/her if they carefully study your actions. Be brave and tell it like it is. When you love stop hinting and stop leaving it to your partner to solve the puzzle. You might think that you are mystical when you do this, but I can tell you that it is a dangerous game that you are playing. Your man/woman might run into someone that don’t lack courage that can express him/herself in a clear and precise manner when it comes to love. To summarize we need to remember that communication reduce distance while the lack of courage in turn create massive voids. Why spend so many hours bridge building when you can bridge the gap in moments when you tell it like it is?
In the Western world we’re taught to perceive time based on the clock ticking forward linearly.
However, spiritual wisdom challenges this notion through the possibility of parallel universes and time travel. And while we may not be able to magically click our heels and end up in a different time and place, we can allow our minds the joy of time travel by visualizing and creating the type of existence we seek to have.
1) Change the Meaning of the Past
Dr. Fred Alan Wolf, theoretical physicist specializing in quantum physics, suggests that when we forgive ourselves and others, we are literally time traveling.
This is because we are travelling with our mind, back into the past and then changing an imprint or meaning we gave to an event. And by changing a meaning or our perspective, we change our world.
For example, when we feel anger or resentment towards another, or to life in general, we carry this feeling forward through time and create a future that attracts such feelings too.
So forgiveness isn’t about making another person right, it’s about saying you will not take your suffering forward with you into the future.
2) Jump Into the Future
When you visualize the life you want to live, you’re sending that message to the Universe and stating the type of future you desire to have.
And with so many realms of the Universe being unknown, including that of parallel universes, it’s exciting to visualize and connect with a “greater you” in the Universe, and then project this person into your future.
As through this visualization process and the Law of Attraction, and the more you focus on the type of future you want (and who you want to be), the stronger that possibility becomes.
This is the fun that comes from living the “wish fulfilled,” as by imagining the future you would like to play a part in, and feeling the gratitude as if it existed right now, you can let go and make choices that move you in that direction.
3) Embrace the Now
Have you ever experienced moments where you’ve been so consumed by creativity that the passing of time has only seemed like minutes, when in fact, it’s been hours because you lost your perception of time?
So when we allow our minds to venture off into a creative space, without looking at the time (and when free from the ego), our minds connect with the divine power that resides within us and time travels to another place.
According to Indian sage, Patanjali, there are even more joys and ways to experience “time travel” as we progress along our path of inner knowing. But for now, use your days to transcend time with some of the above suggestions, and become your own quantum creator.
A man that cannot find enough compassion in his heart to forgive is a fool. We all make mistakes, but the fool continues trying to convince everybody that he is flawless. When you master the art of forgiveness you enter a safe harbour and gain peace of mind. An energy bubble surrounds each one of us. This energy field is charged by your predominant focus at any given moment in time. People can sense when anger, grief or revengeful thoughts are trapped in your energy field. You need to sanitise this invisible energy bubble that accompanies you wherever you go if you want to improve your health or lifestyle. Letting go of the past is a good place to start. The key to a clear energy field is forgiveness. Not only forgiveness of other, but of yourself. Do not allow your past to hold you at ransom. Forgive yourself unconditionally and get on with the game of life. Even if the mistakes that you made in the past shook the world in its foundations you still need to put them behind you. Remember you are not the mistakes that you made. You are not your history. Let go of the past or unconditionally accept the current mediocre role or position that you are in. You cannot cross the bridge of life if you continue to keep your one foot on the yesterday’s side of the bridge. If you want to cleanse yourself you will have to forgive yourself unconditionally. You must see past mistakes as stepping-stones. There is nothing you can do about past mistakes and poor choices that you made. Forgive yourself and learn from your mistakes. Be gentle with yourself. Only when you can become your own best friend will you begin to make real progress in life. If you want to forgive a person for what he or she has done to you, you will need to erase his wrongdoings or no real forgiveness can take place.
A man that cannot find enough compassion in his heart to forgive is a fool. We all make mistakes, but the fool continues trying to convince everybody that he is flawless. When you master the art of forgiveness you enter a safe harbour and gain peace of mind. An energy bubble surrounds each one of us. This energy field is charged by your predominant focus at any given moment in time. People can sense when anger, grief or revengeful thoughts are trapped in your energy field. You need to sanitise this invisible energy bubble that accompanies you wherever you go if you want to improve your health or lifestyle. Letting go of the past is a good place to start. The key to a clear energy field is forgiveness. Not only forgiveness of other, but of yourself. Do not allow your past to hold you at ransom. Forgive yourself unconditionally and get on with the game of life. Even if the mistakes that you made in the past shook the world in its foundations you still need to put them behind you. Remember you are not the mistakes that you made. You are not your history. Let go of the past or unconditionally accept the current mediocre role or position that you are in. You cannot cross the bridge of life if you continue to keep your one foot on the yesterday’s side of the bridge. If you want to cleanse yourself you will have to forgive yourself unconditionally. You must see past mistakes as stepping-stones. There is nothing you can do about past mistakes and poor choices that you made. Forgive yourself and learn from your mistakes. Be gentle with yourself. Only when you can become your own best friend will you begin to make real progress in life. If you want to forgive a person for what he or she has done to you, you will need to erase his wrongdoings or no real forgiveness can take place.
We live in a “button” pushing society today. We all have a natural tendency to push back when we feel someone activated one of our “hot buttons”. We allow people to trigger, anger, anxiety, fear of loss, discomfort in us daily with what they say, do or fail to say and do. The only way that you can get the habitual button pushers out of your life are to stop reacting and responding on their triggers.
We live our lives on a reactive basis. The reason for this mode of thinking is that we spend the best part of our day in “auto” mode. We react without thinking almost all the time. Our sub-conscious mind cannot reason when a request comes in via our five senses. Our sub-conscious minds can only draw from its historical perceptions and belief systems that it formed during early childhood. That is why we often make decisions
The fact of the matter is that people will continue to push your buttons and they will continue to control you and your emotions while you automatically respond to their silly games. I would suggest that you take a few days and observe how you act and react mechanically when your partner, friends or even strangers say or do something that trigger a negative emotional responds in you. Do not judge yourself or the button pushers.
When triggered hit the PAUSE (stop) button and simply become an observer. Just relax and say, do or think nothing. Just breathe in a relaxed and normal manner until you feel that whatever triggered you subsided. Do not jump to conclusions. Treat each case/event on its own merit. Stay in the moment and don’t allow your old and often outdated reaction patterns to influence you. Each event (trigger) is different. It is silly to let your old habitual reaction patterns tarnish the current moment. An inappropriate reaction could cause you discomfort and loss and activate a domino effect that could continue for years.
The “button pushers” in your life domesticated you to react and respond in a specific manner to enhance their control. Watch their faces and listen to their tone of voice when you stop reacting the way you have been trained. You will be surprised how quickly they will stop this destructive habit.
.
The simple art of detachment from your habitual reaction patterns can change your life. When you
learn to let go you bring a brand new dimension into your life. Learn to detach and let go when anyone, yes even someone in the traffic push your buttons. You will be happier, healthier and will most probably live longer as well.
Negative and destructive thoughts can also be arrested using the same method. When you become anxious or uptight – pause and stop mentally delving into the past or projecting horror stories into your future. Focus on the reality of your current moment and deal with it on its own merit.
The void between races has been around for as long as we care to remember. This void will not heal until we stop looking at races on a cluster basis. We look at individuals through a filter system that have been installed in us since early childhood. Race profiling based on outdated and often defective belief systems drove a wedge between tribes and nations. It is unfair and short-sighted to paint everyone with a different skin colour than yours with the same brush. We need to urgently begin to view each person on merit in the moment. We need to stop seeking revenge for perceived atrocities or unfair behaviour by earlier regimes or generations. We will not remove this festering wound that rots the souls of nations until we move on. The only way to overcome this unproductive and destructive habit of racial or for that matter any profiling is to close the book on yesterday. We must immediately PAUSE when we get one of our racial profiling attacks. It is imperative to regain our composure. We need to address each person notwithstanding his/her colour or nationality in the moment without the toxic contamination of our belief systems. You might after an objective evaluation or because of the current unacceptable behaviour of a person decide not to befriend, assist or help such person. You must still refrain judging everyone with a similar skin colour or nationality. One or two bad apples will not motivate you to uproot the tree. Why then condemn a whole tribe or nation? Remember: PAUSE regain your composure when triggered and manage each individual/event on merit.
Thinking is usually a mixture of words, sentences, mental images and sensations. Thoughts are visitors, who visit the central station of the mind. They come, stay a while and then disappear making space for other thoughts. Some of these thoughts stay longer, gain power and affect the life of the person thinking them.
It seems that most people let thoughts connected with worries, fears, anger or unhappiness occupy their mind most of the time. They keep engaging their mind with inner conversation about negative situations and actions. This inner conversation eventually affects the subconscious mind, making it accept and take seriously the thoughts and ideas expressed in those inner conversations.
It is of vital importance to be careful of what goes into the subconscious mind. Words and thoughts that are repeated often get stronger by the repetitions, sink into the subconscious mind and affect the behavior, actions and reactions of the person involved.
The subconscious mind regards the words and thoughts that get lodged inside it as expressing and describing a real situation, and therefore endeavors to align the words and thoughts with reality. It works diligently to make these words and thoughts a reality in the life of the person saying or thinking them.
This means that if you often tell yourself that it is difficult or impossible to acquire money, the subconscious mind will accept you words and put obstacles in your way. If you keep saying that you are rich, it will find ways to bring you opportunities and push you towards taking advantage of these opportunities.
The thoughts that you express through your words shape your life. This is often done unconsciously, as few pay attention to their thoughts and the words they use while thinking, and let outside circumstances and situations determine what they think about. In this case there is no freedom. Here the outside world affects the inner world.
If you consciously choose the thoughts, phrases and words that you repeat in your mind, your life will start to change. You will begin creating new situations and circumstances. You will be using the power of affirmations.
Affirmations are sentences that are repeated often during the day, and which sink into the subconscious mind, thereby releasing its enormous power to materialize the intention of the words and phrases in the outside world. This does not mean that every word has the power to make changes. The words have to be said with attention and with feeling, in order to trigger the subconscious mind into action.
Affirmations have to be phrased in positive words in order to be effective. Consider the following two sentences:
1. I am not weak anymore.
2. I am strong and powerful.
Though both sentences seem to say the same thing in different words, the first one is a negative sentence. It creates in the mind a mental image of weakness. This is a wrong wording. The second sentence awakens in the mind a mental image of strength.
It is not enough to say an affirmation a few times, and then expect your life to change. More than this is necessary. It is important to affirm with attention, as well as with strong desire, faith and persistence. It is also important to choose the right affirmation for any specific situation. You need to feel comfortable with it; otherwise the affirmation may not work or may bring you something that you do not want.
Affirmations can be used to strengthen the process of creative visualization, and they can be used on their own. They are of special importance for people who find it difficult to visualize. In this case they are a substitution to creative visualization.
Instead of repeating negative and useless words and phrases in the mind, you can choose positive words and phrases to help you build the life you want. By choosing your thoughts and words you exercise control over your life.
Here are a few affirmations:
*Day by day I am becoming happier and more satisfied.
*With every inhalation I am filling myself with happiness.
*Love is filling my life now.
*The power of the Cosmos is filling my life with love.
*A lot of money is flowing now into my life.
*The power of the Universal Mind is now filling my life with wealth.
*The powerful and vital energy of the Cosmos is flowing and filling my body and mind.
*Healing energy is constantly filling every cell of my body.
*I always stay calm and in control of myself, in every situation and in all circumstances.
*I am having a wonderful, happy and fascinating day.
The feeling of personal power is key in all interpersonal relationships. Many people are not very clear about what assertiveness is and how it differs from aggressiveness. One main difference is that aggressiveness is about power over other people, while assertiveness is about being able to assert our rights and stand up for our thoughts and feelings while respecting the rights, thoughts and feelings of others.
Passive people habitually submit to other people’s dominance play, do not have clear boundaries, and are constantly being invaded by others. They tend to avoid conflict by not expressing their thoughts and feelings, avoid any sort of confrontations even when their basic rights are involved, which leaves them feeling – and being – victimized. At the same time, anger builds up in them, so when they do speak up, they tend to do it in an aggressive, attacking and blaming way rather than a constructive, solution-oriented, assertive way.
Aggressive people, on the other hand, attempt to impose their will on others, do not respect other people’s boundaries and are invasive and coercive. Aggressive people may get their way with some people at first, but in the long-run they alienate others, create a lot of stress in their social, family and work environment, experience a lot of failures in all interpersonal relationships and end up having no social support and feeling isolated and victimized themselves.
Somewhere in the middle stands assertiveness which is a way of communicating and behaving that respects the rights of all relationship partners. Assertiveness requires honesty, directness, self-confidence, knowing what your rights are and being able to defend them in positive, constructive ways. Learning to act more assertively will increase your sense of efficacy, of having an impact on your environment, your chances of having honest, straight-forward relationships, your chances of getting your needs met, will improve your ability to make your own decisions and get more satisfaction out of life.
Assertiveness is based on two important traits: relatively good self-confidence and good communication skills.
Self-confidence is built through our experience of effectiveness in the world. This effectiveness can be measured in many areas of experience, like academic or professional achievement, physical or athletic abilities, social and personal relationships, etc. Self-confidence is built from the inside out, meaning that we don’t expect others to provide us with self-confidence but we build it by giving ourselves credit for our strengths, virtues and accomplishments.
Good communication skills involve being a good listener as well being a good speaker and being able to appraise a situation in a cool-headed, non-defensive or fearful manner . Assertive communicators have developed some specific skills for standing up and speaking up for themselves. They have fewer conflicts in their dealings with others, and their needs are more frequently met, so they feel happier and more in control of life situations. Most people desiring to become more assertive start from a passive behavioral baseline and require quite a bit of practice in assertive communication skills before they can see any change in the power balance between them and other people. So start slowly in the beginning, and gradually practice more and more assertive communication skills.
Here are a few tips on what communication skills you need to develop and practice:
Maintain eye contact when you are in a conversation. This way you communicate a self-confident and honest message.
Be specific and direct about what you want, think or feel. Practice making statements like “I want to..”, or “I think…”. Learn to say “no”.
Use your body language to emphasize your words. When making a demand or a request, stand up straight and speak in a loud and clear voice.
Don’t get personal or over-emotional when you feel your rights are being violated. Comment on the person’s behavior rather than attacking the person. Use “I” statements, instead of “you” statements that sound like accusations. Feel free to say, “I don’t like it when you yell at me” or “I don’t appreciate not being treated fairly”. Asserting yourself this way balances the power between you and the other person. Once you comment on the inappropriate behavior, don’t forget to request the more appropriate behavior that you would like to take its place, like, “I would like you to be on time when we have a date”.
Learn to reward people for positive behavior and establish a positive cooperative spirit in all interpersonal relationships.
Choose the right time and the right place for resolving issues, making sure that the other person is emotionally willing to start a conversation. Otherwise, whatever you have to say may be forgotten or overlooked.
Express your opinions honestly and do not hesitate to have a different opinion from that of other people even if those people are significant to you or in a position of authority – you still are entitled to your own opinions. “Own” your message, acknowledging that you opinion comes from your own perception of the situation, and your own frame of reference. If no agreement can be found that respects the opinion of both parties, then you can “agree to disagree” on the specific issue.
Practice leadership skills like making overtures to other people, offering positive suggestions to peers and colleagues in a positive, friendly, cooperative spirit, and supporting your own opinions, suggestions and proposals with clear and convincing arguments.
Ask for feedback. Encourage others to be clear, direct and specific in their feedback to you. This way, many misunderstandings in the conversation can be easily resolved and you also convey the message that you equally respect the opinion, feelings and rights of others as much as you respect your own.
Reward yourself every time you manage to overcome your fears and habitual passive reactions and are able to formulate an assertive response, regardless of its effect on the other person or the situation.
The important thing is that you keep practicing and reinforcing your assertive communication skills, rather than your initial effectiveness. It may be a new way of communicating for you, so it may take some time before it feels natural, but the more you practice your assertive communication skills, the more confidence you will gain and you will find out that not only is it really easy, but it’s also very effective.
What would the implications be if we discovered that God want or need nothing from nobody? I know some of the readers may experience feelings of anxiety, fear, anger or even panic when they attempt to contemplate what might look like a preposterous statement far removed from the historical “God perceptions” that we grew up with. What would have happened to mankind if they discovered a long time ago that God actually never needed or expected anything from anyone?
Would there have been any meaningful theology?
Would there have been any churches?
Would there have been the endless number of religions and spiritual movements with all their individual dogmas?
Would there have been the ongoing love – fear relationships that many still experience today when they think of the God concept promoted by their church?
Would there have been fear of death, hell and Satan?
Would there have been fear of old age?
Would there have been the religious wars where many millions were killed in the name of various Gods?
Would there have been a Roman Catholic, Christian and a Muslim Movements that boast with billions of followers?
The reason why many of us still insist that God have always had strict requirements is because in some peculiar way it provides us with a sense of worthiness. Some might even reason that they will have to become atheists if they bought into the idea that God needs nothing from nobody. The idea never cross their mind that most of the God perceptions that they cling to were planted in their heads when still very young.
Churches, clergy, priests, emperors, kings etc. worked themselves into a very powerful and influential position by claiming that they are the earthly representatives of some or other God. They revealed hundreds of laws, rules, regulations and expectations that the God according to their perception of Him insist that must be enforced to make Him happy and assist Him to remain composed and not lose His cool. The prescriptions were always linked to dire warnings that, if ignored or not address to the letter would result in serious punishment in the near future or in some kind of afterlife. These warning included predictions of death, destruction, famine, droughts and hardship. These predictions were initially enough to control their followers and keep them subservient. It later became necessary to turn up the heat regarding God’s expectations and needs. This is where those that thought that they might get away with disobedience to God’s commands (like totally wiping out a so-called pagan nation) discovered that God also have a record keeping system and a court of law in heaven that is waiting for those that failed to fulfil the stipulated requirements when they die . The concept of Hell and everlasting damnation after death tightened the screws of control to a level where most in a sheep like manner remain loyal to the church.
The endless laws, rules and regulations continued to flow from God through so-called inspired individuals until Constantine decided to collate a book (The Bible). All the mystical inspired chats between God and the authors suddenly dried up. Not a single person according to this philosophy have been inspire after this event. God vanished from the stage of life and apparently retreated to his heavenly abode. The clergy however kept churning out endless often self-serving commands by interpreting the historical laws and commandments and in this manner kept the upper hand, power and money flowing.
Stop for a moment and think about the statements that I made above. Let us play for a moment with the idea that God never demanded anything from anyone. What would the implications be if man made Gods for themselves in their own image? What would the implications be if the depictions of the Gods were wrong and that God never insisted on the endless range of requirements now cast in stone in their Holy Books? What if the real God (life force) never meddled with man and allowed each individual to work out his own fate and future on a moment to moment basis with the choices he or she make? What if God gave man free will to make any choice and never metered out any punishment, but like a good parent allows His now physically mature children to learn via their own mistakes? Do not reject this option. Think about it for a moment and you will discover that a million and one things that might have bothered you about your current God concept now suddenly fall into place.
When we detect something via one or more of our five senses “it is what it is” until we make up our mind what we are going to make of it and what we are going to do about it. Its status remains neutral until we “respond” to the event detected of that we possibly thought of.
Example – someone said something that and we proceed to lodge it in the “process pending” file in our subconscious computer. No rational and objective reaction can take place until we hit the process button. At this stage we only have unqualified raw data in our mental “in box”. We are most probably composed and don’t feel sad, angry, upset or rejected. We continue to sustain our “current” mood. It is only after we begin to process the input received that we detect a change in our mood. It is only after we filtered and judged the “input” that our brains release the appropriate chemical cocktail into our blood that it deem appropriate to the task at hand. This is when we begin to experience elation, anger, joy, sadness or frustration. We also then received a “spontaneously” action plan as part of the reaction protocol. Can you see that nothing happened until we pushed the process button? Let us look at a few examples of input that most of us experience often.
We are late for work. We think suddenly conclude that there is a conspiracy against us. We woke up to the fact that most robots are either out of commission or red.
Our partner makes a negative comment about a mistake that he/she perceived we made.
We receive a final request for payment of something we bought in a moment of possible “insanity”.
We read that there is a child dying of poor water quality in Africa every minute.
We hear on the news that our crime rate achieved new horrific record levels.
We see on the news that Malema outperformed himself at a political meeting with a new harebrain idea how even more funds can be extracted from those that he deem financially affluent.
THE FORMULA
ONE – Accept “what is”. Do not send the input for processing to the processing part of the mind.
TWO – Ensure that you fully understand the INPUT that you are confronted with. Ask question, and do proper research.
THREE – Now send this data to your sub-conscious mind for processing.
OPTIONS
What many of us fail to grasp is that there is no rule or valid reason to respond or react until you feel ready to deal with a task at hand. The best responds is often to not to do or say anything and remain detached emotionally. A series of out of order robots must be accepted as something that we can do absolutely nothing about. It will be silly and a total waste of energy to react like a mad man every time you are confronted with a red or defective robot. The outcome of such behavior could produce a totally unacceptable outcome and can result in your getting arrested for road-rage. The same holds true with most of the examples that I provided earlier. Most of our reactions are silly, a waste of time and meaningless. We in a moment of insanity bought something that now put us under serious pressure. How will massive feeling a guilt, fear and anxiety make this problem go away?
NOTHING HAPPENED – STORY
Most of us have a tendency to write a whole script around everything unacceptable that we are faced with. We become the main actor on the stage in our heads. We to top it all also play the role of a victim in these dramas. Most problems that we are faced with can be resolved if we learn to cut out the drama part of our processing.
ACCEPT WHAT IS
Accept what is – Don’t go into a “why me” mode. Don’t moan and fret while you think what could or should have been. Accept the current situations and deal with in when you are composed and have valid data to work with.
Accept that most of the stuff that we perceive as a crisis is silly and should not even be processed. Malema said something that you deem a threat. Understand that there is nothing you can do to modify or change what he said. All you are going to achieve is to mess up your blood pleasure and flirt with a heart attack.
Just observe what was said in a detached manner. Don’t make what was said good or bad or right or wrong. Become a dethatched observer and look at the whole silly game the same way you will observe a tree that you pass on your way home. All you see is a tree. You have no specific opinions about the tree. You allow the tree to enter your field of vision and allow it to leave your field of vision without thinking or making up stories about this tree. It is our reactions that provide the power to most of the stuff that we are faced with.
The earth will remain stable on it axis and the sky will not fall if you OBSERVE all input in a detached manner. Refrain from attaching any emotions good or bad to any input. You take back your power when you accept “what is” and stop processing every event as if your life depended on it. It is your ego that is causing most of the shit that you are faced with daily. Your ego must always react to everything and everyone. Your ego is the one that drag you through an endless range of unpleasant emotions and experienced daily.
The question that you need to ask yourself is, “Do I want to win or do I want to be happy?” Allow yourself to float downstream. Stop swimming upstream in an attempt to pacify your ego’s desire to retain control or take control.
This does not mean that I expect you to become a bowl of jelly. I repeat that we must “accept what is and observe “what is” in an objective and relaxed manner without saying or doing the first thing that comes to mind. Only take action when you are composed and have solid and valid data to work with.
We live in a “button” pushing society today. We all have a natural tendency to push back when we feel someone activated one of our “hot buttons”. We allow people to trigger, anger, anxiety, fear of loss, discomfort in us daily with what they say, do or fail to say and do. The only way that you can get the habitual button pushers out of your life are to stop reacting and responding on their triggers.
We live our lives on a reactive basis. The reason for this mode of thinking is that we spend the best part of our day in “auto” mode. We react without thinking almost all the time. Our sub-conscious mind cannot reason when a request comes in via our five senses. Our sub-conscious minds can only draw from its historical perceptions and belief systems that it formed during early childhood. That is why we often make decisions
The fact of the matter is that people will continue to push your buttons and they will continue to control you and your emotions while you automatically respond to their silly games. I would suggest that you take a few days and observe how you act and react mechanically when your partner, friends or even strangers say or do something that trigger a negative emotional responds in you. Do not judge yourself or the button pushers.
When triggered hit the PAUSE (stop) button and simply become an observer. Just relax and say, do or think nothing. Just breathe in a relaxed and normal manner until you feel that whatever triggered you subsided. Do not jump to conclusions. Treat each case/event on its own merit. Stay in the moment and don’t allow your old and often outdated reaction patterns to influence you. Each event (trigger) is different. It is silly to let your old habitual reaction patterns tarnish the current moment. An inappropriate reaction could cause you discomfort and loss and activate a domino effect that could continue for years.
The “button pushers” in your life domesticated you to react and respond in a specific manner to enhance their control. Watch their faces and listen to their tone of voice when you stop reacting the way you have been trained. You will be surprised how quickly they will stop this destructive habit.
The simple art of detachment from your habitual reaction patterns can change your life. When you learn to let go you bring a brand new dimension into your life. Learn to detach and let go when anyone, yes even someone in the traffic push your buttons. You will be happier, healthier and will most probably live longer as well.
Negative and destructive thoughts can also be arrested using the same method. When you become anxious or uptight – pause and stop mentally delving into the past or projecting horror stories into your future. Focus on the reality of your current moment and deal with it on its own merit.
The void between races has been around for as long as we care to remember. This void will not heal until we stop looking at races on a cluster basis. We look at individuals through a filter system that have been installed in us since early childhood. Race profiling based on outdated and often defective belief systems drove a wedge between tribes and nations. It is unfair and short-sighted to paint everyone with a different skin colour than yours with the same brush. We need to urgently begin to view each person on merit in the moment. We need to stop seeking revenge for perceived atrocities or unfair behaviour by earlier regimes or generations. We will not remove this festering wound that rots the souls of nations until we move on. The only way to overcome this unproductive and destructive habit of racial or for that matter any profiling is to close the book on yesterday. We must immediately PAUSE when we get one of our racial profiling attacks. It is imperative to regain our composure. We need to address each person notwithstanding his/her colour or nationality in the moment without the toxic contamination of our belief systems. You might after an objective evaluation or because of the current unacceptable behaviour of a person decide not to befriend, assist or help such person. You must still refrain judging everyone with a similar skin colour or nationality. One or two bad apples will not motivate you to uproot the tree. Why then condemn a whole tribe or nation? Remember: PAUSE regain your composure when triggered and manage each individual/event on merit.
The feeling of personal power is key in all interpersonal relationships. Many people are not very clear about what assertiveness is and how it differs from aggressiveness. One main difference is that aggressiveness is about power over other people, while assertiveness is about being able to assert our rights and stand up for our thoughts and feelings while respecting the rights, thoughts and feelings of others.
Passive people habitually submit to other people’s dominance play, do not have clear boundaries, and are constantly being invaded by others. They tend to avoid conflict by not expressing their thoughts and feelings, avoid any sort of confrontations even when their basic rights are involved, which leaves them feeling – and being – victimized. At the same time, anger builds up in them, so when they do speak up, they tend to do it in an aggressive, attacking and blaming way rather than a constructive, solution-oriented, assertive way.
Aggressive people, on the other hand, attempt to impose their will on others, do not respect other people’s boundaries and are invasive and coercive. Aggressive people may get their way with some people at first, but in the long-run they alienate others, create a lot of stress in their social, family and work environment, experience a lot of failures in all interpersonal relationships and end up having no social support and feeling isolated and victimized themselves.
Somewhere in the middle stands assertiveness which is a way of communicating and behaving that respects the rights of all relationship partners. Assertiveness requires honesty, directness, self-confidence, knowing what your rights are and being able to defend them in positive, constructive ways. Learning to act more assertively will increase your sense of efficacy, of having an impact on your environment, your chances of having honest, straight-forward relationships, your chances of getting your needs met, will improve your ability to make your own decisions and get more satisfaction out of life.
Assertiveness is based on two important traits: relatively good self-confidence and good communication skills.
Self-confidence is built through our experience of effectiveness in the world. This effectiveness can be measured in many areas of experience, like academic or professional achievement, physical or athletic abilities, social and personal relationships, etc. Self-confidence is built from the inside out, meaning that we don’t expect others to provide us with self-confidence but we build it by giving ourselves credit for our strengths, virtues and accomplishments.
Good communication skills involve being a good listener as well being a good speaker and being able to appraise a situation in a cool-headed, non-defensive or fearful manner . Assertive communicators have developed some specific skills for standing up and speaking up for themselves. They have fewer conflicts in their dealings with others, and their needs are more frequently met, so they feel happier and more in control of life situations. Most people desiring to become more assertive start from a passive behavioral baseline and require quite a bit of practice in assertive communication skills before they can see any change in the power balance between them and other people. So start slowly in the beginning, and gradually practice more and more assertive communication skills.
Here are a few tips on what communication skills you need to develop and practice:
Maintain eye contact when you are in a conversation. This way you communicate a self-confident and honest message.
Be specific and direct about what you want, think or feel. Practice making statements like “I want to..”, or “I think…”. Learn to say “no”.
Use your body language to emphasize your words. When making a demand or a request, stand up straight and speak in a loud and clear voice.
Don’t get personal or over-emotional when you feel your rights are being violated. Comment on the person’s behavior rather than attacking the person. Use “I” statements, instead of “you” statements that sound like accusations. Feel free to say, “I don’t like it when you yell at me” or “I don’t appreciate not being treated fairly”. Asserting yourself this way balances the power between you and the other person. Once you comment on the inappropriate behavior, don’t forget to request the more appropriate behavior that you would like to take its place, like, “I would like you to be on time when we have a date”.
Learn to reward people for positive behavior and establish a positive cooperative spirit in all interpersonal relationships.
Choose the right time and the right place for resolving issues, making sure that the other person is emotionally willing to start a conversation. Otherwise, whatever you have to say may be forgotten or overlooked.
Express your opinions honestly and do not hesitate to have a different opinion from that of other people even if those people are significant to you or in a position of authority – you still are entitled to your own opinions. “Own” your message, acknowledging that you opinion comes from your own perception of the situation, and your own frame of reference. If no agreement can be found that respects the opinion of both parties, then you can “agree to disagree” on the specific issue.
Practice leadership skills like making overtures to other people, offering positive suggestions to peers and colleagues in a positive, friendly, cooperative spirit, and supporting your own opinions, suggestions and proposals with clear and convincing arguments.
Ask for feedback. Encourage others to be clear, direct and specific in their feedback to you. This way, many misunderstandings in the conversation can be easily resolved and you also convey the message that you equally respect the opinion, feelings and rights of others as much as you respect your own.
Reward yourself every time you manage to overcome your fears and habitual passive reactions and are able to formulate an assertive response, regardless of its effect on the other person or the situation.
The important thing is that you keep practicing and reinforcing your assertive communication skills, rather than your initial effectiveness. It may be a new way of communicating for you, so it may take some time before it feels natural, but the more you practice your assertive communication skills, the more confidence you will gain and you will find out that not only is it really easy, but it’s also very effective.
Do you often lose your temper? Do you often say things that later you regret because of anger? Do others consider you a volatile person, afraid to be around you, not knowing why or when you will suddenly erupt? Do you feel entitled to having these angry reactions, do you feel that others “make” you angry? Do you sometimes find that anger gives you power over others? Do you sometimes feel that if you don’t do something like breaking an object, or slamming a door, you are going to burst? Have you ever felt weak and incapable of controlling your anger? Have you become violent towards another person because of anger? Have you damaged a person’s property because of anger? If your answer is yes to just a couple of the above, then, Oh My God, You Have Anger Issues!
What is anger? Is it ok? Yes, anger is ok. It is one of our basic reactions and feelings and a natural part of our lives. It is an emotional signal of displeasure with an event or behaviour we have encountered. One of our basic skills in life is how to feel our anger, how to manage our anger, and how to express our anger appropriately. However, anger, being a reaction to some sort of conflict between our desires and the response of the environment, should not be a permanent attribute of our personality, but rather a temporary feeling which subsides as soon as the conflict is resolved.
What are the many faces of anger? Well, have you ever met a person who is constantly angry about something? There are some people who have integrated anger into their personality style as a permanent trait. They are always angry about everything. They get easily frustrated over small things, get annoyed at events that others simply ignore, and carry their anger wherever they go. No matter what the occasion, they will find something to be dissatisfied with, something they will find very annoying. It seems as if they are intentionally focusing on what can make them mad, as an excuse to let their anger out. Sometimes, such people discover that with their anger they gain control and power over others, and may use their anger deliberately as a manipulative technique. Intimidators, bullies may fall in this category.
Then, there is anger resulting from “narcissistic injury” or a perceived attack on self-esteem and feelings of insult and shame. People with unhealthy self-esteem, who feel unworthy or unloved and carry a lot of shame within them, tend to feel inordinate shame at small insignificant comments made by others, are overly touchy when criticized, ignored, or neglected and may erupt in quite violent anger, often termed “narcissistic rage”. This type of anger turned against the person who has caused the insult or the shaming experience is a way the “insulted” person has found to hit back, get revenge, or release these very intense feelings.
Another variant of narcissistic anger is paranoid anger, often as an extension of the former. In narcissistic anger what is threatened and being responded to is a perceived threat to shaky self-esteem. In paranoid anger the perceived threat is against the person’s basic security or safety. Everyone is out to get such a person, take his/her job, do him/her an injustice, fool and deceive him/her etc. This anger stems from deep feelings of insecurity and lack of trust and is expressed with self-entitlement as a means of protection against the evilness of others. Often, this type of anger takes the form of “moral indignation” – accusing others of being “wrong” or “bad” or “immoral” giving the angry person a false feeling of superiority, while covering underlying feelings of weakness, vulnerability, insecurity, or envy.
The most dangerous type of anger is sudden, explosive anger, which occurs when the individual totally loses control of himself. The causes for this type of anger may be any of the ones mentioned above, and the intensity of the anger reaction can be attributed to faulty impulse control, which may be evident in other forms of extreme impulsivity in that person’s life. People suffering from such anger may harm others or themselves as a way to rid themselves of these very powerful feelings and gain relief.
On the other hand, there are people who are afraid of anger. Perhaps, in their childhood they were taught that it was not appropriate to express anger, or they were so afraid of other people’s anger that they decided that anger was “bad”. Some people are so afraid of anger that not only do they not express it, but cover it up with various defenses so that they do not feel their anger anymore. Such people’s main concern is to keep the peace at all costs, not rock the boat, not gain the displeasure of another person, not make things even worse, not lose acceptance or love. Anger, theirs or other people’s, is just too upsetting, it disturbs their sense of security and safety and such people tend to shrink back from it and systematically avoid it. Frequently, depression or psychosomatic symptoms may result from this constant repression of anger.
Another type of not expressed anger is called passive-aggressive anger. If the people in the previous category get tumors, people in this category can “cause” tumors to others, by their obstinate uncooperativeness. Frustrating others is their specialty and their cup of tea. Late for appointments, dates, “forgetful” of things, professional procrastinators, and all of that under a meak and mild countenance and a guileless smile. In contrast to repressed anger, which is not consciously felt by the individual, passive-aggressive anger is consciously felt and consciously expressed in this indirect and masked style as a way of revenge or control of others.
And, finally, there is “healthy” anger. What are the characteristics of healthy anger?
Healthy anger is consciously felt – not repressed or avoided.
Healthy anger is filtered through our reasoning faculties and modulated.
Healthy anger is verbally expressed in a civilized and controlled manner and its aim is not to injure, attack, insult or otherwise harm the anger-provoking person, but resolve the anger-provoking situation.
Healthy anger is quickly released once the conflict is over and not held onto as resentment or hard feelings.
And when we can do all that, then with a sigh of relief we may proudly say, Thank God, I Don’t Have Anger “Issues”!!!
Everyday you make a thousand choices. You choose what to wear, where to go, who to meet, what to eat and what to do. MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, YOU decide WHAT TO THINK. One thing is sure and that is that your day will not be better than your thoughts. ...................
Just close your eyes for a moment and see if you can visualise this open toolbox and if you can see the hundreds of tools that are neatly placed in this toolbox. Now look if you can see the maker’s name on these tools. The creator of these tools (thoughts and perceptions) is you. You created thousands of thoughts and perceptions (tools) about everything since your childhood. ..................
When confronted with any situation or problem you reach into this toolbox and take out what you think the most appropriate tool would be and then attempt to fix the problem. It is estimated that your mind thinks at least 2,500 thoughts an hour. Every thought that you think is a tool (perception) that you have that you imagine would work best under specific circumstances. This thought process continues day and night and will do so for the rest of your life. .....................................
I am convinced that we think ourselves to a standstill. We never stop playing with these tools in our toolbox and can hardly ever really relax for a while. If we are not faced with a problem or task that needs completion we still continue to take out these tools and mentally rehears and contemplate how we will use them should something that we fear become a reality. ............................
We are forever thinking and scheming and never become still and tranquil inside. Our bodies might seem relaxed, but deep inside our heads this thought process continues churning around. What I am most worried about is that most of the tools that you have in your toolbox are very old and outdated. .......................
Many of the opportunities, problems and obstructions that you face daily cannot be repaired while you are using old and outdated tools. If you take a modern mechanic’s toolbox and you place the toolbox of a mechanic of fifty years ago next to it you will find that there are major discrepancies. When you are confronted with something that needs repair and you do not have the right tool for the task at hand it can be very frustrating. We usually improvise and try using some other tools and hope that it will also get the job done. ........................
When you are faced with a problem you need to select the right tool for the task at hand. If you do not have the tool in your toolbox it can complicate your life. What most people seem to ignore is that it is sometimes better not to reach for your toolbox when faced with a problem. Sometimes you need time to pass or need to leave the problem with its rightful owner. How well you use your tools is usually reflected in the world you see around you. What would you do if you were faced with any or all of the following? .........................
You get a flat tire on your way to an important customer or meeting. You can fall apart, develop a migraine and think that life is against you or you can take out the right tools (patience and reality) and take care of the problem in a relaxed manner. ........................
You have been working on the computer for hours and suddenly lose all your work. You can drop dead with a heart attack; think that God hates you or you can take out the right tool (sanity and reality) and begin over and this time remember to make a backup of your work. ....................
A lover or wife possibly cheated on you. You can go crazy and get an assassin to take out the potential threat to your relationship, think that you are a failure or you can take out the right tool (no fear of loss) and get on with your life. .......................
When you have the right tools in your toolbox it makes life a lot easier. The choices we make are vital in our lives. The more quality choices we make during any given day the higher the probability of success and peace of mind. ................
I suggest that you equip your toolbox with the best tools you can lay your hands on. It is important to upgrade if you discover that one of your tools are outdated or that a more modern version is available. How would you react if your TV packed up and a technician that obviously knows very little about electronics arrived at your house with only a sledgehammer and a few other primitive tools in his toolbox? I am sure that you will send him away and find someone better qualified and equipped for the task. .....................
You might sometimes be like this incompetent and poorly equipped technician indicated above if you do not often update your tools (thoughts) in your toolbox. You can also have all the right tools in your toolbox and never use them because you are afraid that you might make a mistake. ..................
You must remember that happiness and success is always just one thought (tool) away. You should remember when you find it difficult to cope with something that one new tool (thought) could change your life. One fresh thought and one new idea can change your life from pain and suffering to success and peace of mind. ........................
You are today what you were programmed with yesterday. The choices that you make on a moment-to-moment basis decide your fate and future. You can never feel or perform better than the ongoing thoughts and feelings that you allow to occupy your mind! .......................
The mistake we make is that most of us live our lives on a reactive basis. We start and complete our day in a reactive state of being. Something comes to our attention via our five senses or via a thought in our mind. We automatically slip into the “role” that we created for ourselves many moons ago. We act, react and experience the same feelings and emotions that we embedded with our scrip at its inception. We do exactly the same when new stimuli push the previous “drama” off the stage in our minds. We sustain this reactive mode of thinking until we finally go to bed at night. Most of our days are made up of a tapestry of “roles” that we played in our own colorful way. It is important to understand that nothing is going to change until we do something different. We cannot repeat the same old recipes and expect a different outcome. ....................
You can use the “Portable Life Skills Wisdom” book to develop a range of appropriate scripts that you can use when you are faced with a problem or project that need your attention. You will if you apply the scripts in this book find that you no longer run your life on a reactive basis. The new scripts will help you to live your life in the moment. You will become more realistic. You will treat each event on its own merit. How do you do this? ......................
The Process ....................
Read the first message in your book. Write it down if at all possible. It will assist you to absorb the data provided. Now sit back and close your eyes and visualize how you will apply the specific message in the various areas of your life. See yourself on the screen of your mind using the message in all your day-to-day activities. It is important to attempt to feel and experience the benefits that this new mode of thinking will bring into your life. Do this for ten minutes. Then open your eyes and begin to apply the wisdom on all occasions where appropriate in your activities on that given day. ...........................
Proceed to do the same with second message etc. in your book tomorrow. You will upload almost a thousand powerful recipes if you sustain the process indicated above. You can in less than three years upload a powerful “tool” system that will serve you for the rest of your life. This can be a life changing experience if you apply it daily. You will discover that the ten minutes you invest daily will upload countless new strategies into your subconscious computer. Build a successful and happy life. The key however is action. You can have the best tools available to man and still fail if you don’t use them daily. Wishing you the very best with this endeavor. .............................
Daily Support System (This Blog) ................
You not only have the massive key ideas in the book that you can use when appropriate you also receive daily posts on a wide range of subjects that will expand this system to a level never offered before. Visit this blog daily for fresh new ideas with a sprinkle of historical wisdom that stood the test of time. ..........................
Rene
PORTABLE LIFE SKILLS DAILY WISDOM GUIDE 