The people who annoy, oppose, hurt, reject and betray us are our best teachers.

 

 

Spiritual growth is a process of atonement and the undoing of our mistaken beliefs and delusions. It is a journey towards wholeness, during which we attempt to master our minds, manage our emotions and conquer our fears. We do not live in a vacuum and we cannot get through life without other people. This is for a very good reason: In isolation, self-actualisation would be limited or non-existent and we need to be exposed to other people to grow. Personal healing is the main purpose for being among other people. Relationships offer us the opportunity to re-create ourselves, re-member who we are and to develop our potential. Relationships present us with ample opportunities to change, to grow, to expand our awareness and to increase our vibration.

 

The modern mystic does not have the privilege of retreating to a monastery, seeking solitude, quieting the mind and spending time in the company of enlightened Masters for spiritual growth purposes. Today we are faced with the challenge of maintaining a job, paying the bills, caring for a family and dealing with the pressures of our modern lifestyle, while attending to our spiritual growth. Times have changed and we should regard our homes and our work places as monasteries or temples where we can learn and grow spiritually. Therefore, every situation, encounter and relationship provides opportunities for self-mastery. Every person, situation and problem you encounter is ateacher. Every single individual you meet can also be perceived as astudent. If you perceive others as students, it encourages you to be the best possible role model for the other person. We are all students, but also teachers – instruments of the Divine. We have a divine purpose or contract that we need to fulfill.

 

The people, with whom we develop close and intimate relationships and who play a significant role in our lives, are there for a purpose. Some of the people we encounter are supportive, loving, kind and positive towards us. We would not believe in ourselves or develop self-worth if people did not listen to us, value our judgement, trust or love us. We need love and support, but supportive behaviour does not provide us with significant opportunities for growth. The people who annoy, oppose, hurt, reject and betray us are our best teachers. We should cherish and be grateful for the people who elicit negative emotions. While dealing with a difficult interpersonal issue, it may be hard to comprehend or understand why it happened. It is often in retrospect that we realise that the hardship or suffering we endured, enabled us to develop inner strength and build character – qualities essential for future success.

 

Early in life, we tend to focus on what we possess, on what we have achieved, or what we do for a living. Later in life, we realise that a meaningful life depends on how we are and what we have become. Change is the only constant in life and we are always in the process of becoming. We were given the power of choice and our relationships present us with opportunities to decide who we are and what type of person we want to become. Our relationships have the potential to bring out the best or the worst in us. The rapport and relationships that we establish with others, present us with ample opportunities to develop virtues such as unconditional love, empathy, tolerance, compassion, patience, trust, integrity, honesty, loyalty, sincerity and forgiveness. The company we keep and some teachers give us the opportunity to develop vices such as impatience, dishonesty, indifference, apathy, cruelty and mean, deceitful or violent behaviour. The power of choice rests within each individual.

By our own author Susan Minnaar

 

No need to wait for an afterlife. This is achievable here and now.

 

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If you maintain a negative limiting belief about your reality, such as a belief that this reality is insane, crazy, violent, indifferent, apathetic, etc., then your attitude will absolutely cream you. You can’t expect to get anywhere good with a belief that this reality is anything less than heavenly.

You’re not actually judging reality with such beliefs because you only have access to your limited perceptions of it, and those are 100% within your mind. So by labeling reality negatively, you’re actually labeling a part of your own mind in the same way. 

That’s a trap — a huge trap that you must avoid at all costs.

The Trap of Labeling Reality Negatively

Subconsciously your mind will respond to such beliefs by crippling your self-esteem and strangling your ability to leverage your skills and talents. Some people who go this route even kill themselves in the end. It’s a completely foolhardy way to deal with reality. No good can come of it. Well… no good other than the eventual realization that it was a rather lame idea.

Once you realize that your perceptions of reality are all you have to go with, the most sensible approach is to permanently rule out the idea of casting aspersions on your reality, since you’re actually ridiculing your own perceptions, which can only make you go a bit insane. You can’t afford to do anything of the sort. That cannot possibly do any good whatsoever — it can only take you down a path of self-destruction and ruin.

What’s the alternative? Do the absolute best you can to cultivate a harmonious and supportive relationship with your reality. Settle for nothing less. If anything conflicts with your efforts there, ignore it as best you can, and refocus your attention on re-establishing a harmonious and supportive relationship with reality. You cannot get anywhere in this life if you do otherwise.

Some people have the belief that this reality is something of a proving ground between heaven (bliss) and hell (torture). They’re mistaken. When those people experience physical death, if their consciousness continues, they’ll only continue recreating more of the same flavor of experience they had here. They won’t suddenly ascend or descend just because they drop the connection to this particular physical plane. When you disconnect your computer from the Internet, it doesn’t suddenly upgrade or downgrade itself. If you want to upgrade your life experience, you must be the upgrader.

How to Take Control of Reality

This reality is actually as good as it gets. You’re already in heaven now, if you believe such a thing exists. There is nothing better. Whatever you think you can create in heaven, you can create and experience here. This doesn’t require magical powers or magical thinking. It does require taking full responsibility for how you relate to this reality. Since that relationship exists entirely within your mind, it’s under your control… but only to the extent that you believe it is. If you think that’s a Catch 22, you’re also right, since that’s just another belief. The benefit of a Catch 22, however, is that you can choose to be on the side that cheats, so no matter what happens, you win.

I maintain the belief that reality is 100% on my side. This is not based on evidence. It is based on choice. The evidence comes after the choice, not the other way around.

I even believe that reality conspires to go out of its way to help me, and I see evidence of this constantly (again, only after I chose this belief). And so this is what my experience of reality becomes. It’s full of pleasant surprises.

Today, for instance, I received an extra $900 out of the blue that I didn’t even know was coming. Reality loves to bring me gifts like this — financially, socially, experientially, etc. And because I maintain this belief, people frequently help and support me on my path. No one is going to do that for someone who thinks this reality is somehow lacking or damaged — that belief will only get you drained, beaten down, and abused.

If you seem to have a love-hate relationship with reality, then who’s the abuser? It can only be you. If you wish to continue suffering, then by all means, do so. I won’t stop you, especially when you do it in an entertaining way.

What if the whole time you’ve been here, reality was conspiring to bring you the most heavenly experiences imaginable, and all this time it’s been waiting for you to get with the program? Reality was functioning perfectly — within established parameters. But perhaps you’ve been slacking off in the imagination department. Have you been dwelling on what you’d love to experience and summoning it, or have you been muddling your mind with thoughts of perpetuating more of what you don’t want?

If you love what you’re experiencing right now, you can just keep observing that, and it will self-perpetuate; if that’s you, you’re already golden. But you can’t afford to let your mind dwell on your observations and their extended predictions if you’ve already established the pattern of creating experiences you don’t desire to continue. If you want to break the pattern of what you’re already experiencing, you need to shift your energy from observation and prediction to unfettered imagination and creation. Essentially that’s a time management challenge — spend less time observing and more time imagining.

Have you thought about what heaven might actually be like? It’s surely not all harps and angels and clouds like you might see depicted in a movie. That might be fun for a few hours, but then you’d be bored for eternity.

This Is Heaven

Here’s how I define heaven for me. Heaven is a state of existence that let’s me experience the following:

Beam – Enjoy my life immensely; feel deep appreciation and gratitude for this experience; laugh and smile

Harmonize – Maintain a deeply positive, loving, and supportive relationship with my reality

Shine – Develop my skills, talents, and habits to genius level; shamelessly express and share my creativity and brilliance

Explore – Search, study, travel, learn, and discover, guided by my curiosity, desires, and intuition

Open – Open my heart; actively invite and experience delicious connections that I desire

Grow – Become more capable and free; release and shed fears and limitations

Prosper – Create and enjoy tremendous prosperity and abundance

No need to wait for an afterlife. This is achievable here and now.

What’s your version of heaven? Do you have to wait till you’re dead to experience it? What makes you think death will be any better than this anyway? Would it really be easier to create heaven in some astral realm vs. right here, right now? What are you waiting for?

By Steve Pavlina

 

Anger “Issues”? – Healthy anger is filtered through our reasoning faculties and modulated.

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Oh My God!!! Do I Have Anger “Issues”?

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Do you often lose your temper? Do you often say things that later you regret because of anger? Do others consider you a volatile person, afraid to be around you, not knowing why or when you will suddenly erupt? Do you feel entitled to having these angry reactions, do you feel that others “make” you angry? Do you sometimes find that anger gives you power over others? Do you sometimes feel that if you don’t do something like breaking an object, or slamming a door, you are going to burst? Have you ever felt weak and incapable of controlling your anger? Have you become violent towards another person because of anger? Have you damaged a person’s property because of anger? If your answer is yes to just a couple of the above, then, Oh My God, You Have Anger Issues!

What is anger? Is it ok? Yes, anger is ok. It is one of our basic reactions and feelings and a natural part of our lives. It is an emotional signal of displeasure with an event or behaviour we have encountered. One of our basic skills in life is how to feel our anger, how to manage our anger, and how to express our anger appropriately. However, anger, being a reaction to some sort of conflict between our desires and the response of the environment, should not be a permanent attribute of our personality, but rather a temporary feeling which subsides as soon as the conflict is resolved.

What are the many faces of anger? Well, have you ever met a person who is constantly angry about something? There are some people who have integrated anger into their personality style as a permanent trait. They are always angry about everything. They get easily frustrated over small things, get annoyed at events that others simply ignore, and carry their anger wherever they go. No matter what the occasion, they will find something to be dissatisfied with, something they will find very annoying. It seems as if they are intentionally focusing on what can make them mad, as an excuse to let their anger out. Sometimes, such people discover that with their anger they gain control and power over others, and may use their anger deliberately as a manipulative technique. Intimidators, bullies may fall in this category.

Then, there is anger resulting from “narcissistic injury” or a perceived attack on self-esteem and feelings of insult and shame. People with unhealthy self-esteem, who feel unworthy or unloved and carry a lot of shame within them, tend to feel inordinate shame at small insignificant comments made by others, are overly touchy when criticized, ignored, or neglected and may erupt in quite violent anger, often termed “narcissistic rage”. This type of anger turned against the person who has caused the insult or the shaming experience is a way the “insulted” person has found to hit back, get revenge, or release these very intense feelings.

Another variant of narcissistic anger is paranoid anger, often as an extension of the former. In narcissistic anger what is threatened and being responded to is a perceived threat to shaky self-esteem. In paranoid anger the perceived threat is against the person’s basic security or safety. Everyone is out to get such a person, take his/her job, do him/her an injustice, fool and deceive him/her etc. This anger stems from deep feelings of insecurity and lack of trust and is expressed with self-entitlement as a means of protection against the evilness of others. Often, this type of anger takes the form of “moral indignation” – accusing others of being “wrong” or “bad” or “immoral” giving the angry person a false feeling of superiority, while covering underlying feelings of weakness, vulnerability, insecurity, or envy.

The most dangerous type of anger is sudden, explosive anger, which occurs when the individual totally loses control of himself. The causes for this type of anger may be any of the ones mentioned above, and the intensity of the anger reaction can be attributed to faulty impulse control, which may be evident in other forms of extreme impulsivity in that person’s life. People suffering from such anger may harm others or themselves as a way to rid themselves of these very powerful feelings and gain relief.

On the other hand, there are people who are afraid of anger. Perhaps, in their childhood they were taught that it was not appropriate to express anger, or they were so afraid of other people’s anger that they decided that anger was “bad”. Some people are so afraid of anger that not only do they not express it, but cover it up with various defenses so that they do not feel their anger anymore. Such people’s main concern is to keep the peace at all costs, not rock the boat, not gain the displeasure of another person, not make things even worse, not lose acceptance or love. Anger, theirs or other people’s, is just too upsetting, it disturbs their sense of security and safety and such people tend to shrink back from it and systematically avoid it. Frequently, depression or psychosomatic symptoms may result from this constant repression of anger.

Another type of not expressed anger is called passive-aggressive anger. If the people in the previous category get tumors, people in this category can “cause” tumors to others, by their obstinate uncooperativeness. Frustrating others is their specialty and their cup of tea. Late for appointments, dates, “forgetful” of things, professional procrastinators, and all of that under a meak and mild countenance and a guileless smile. In contrast to repressed anger, which is not consciously felt by the individual, passive-aggressive anger is consciously felt and consciously expressed in this indirect and masked style as a way of revenge or control of others.

And, finally, there is “healthy” anger. What are the characteristics of healthy anger?

Healthy anger is consciously felt – not repressed or avoided.

Healthy anger is filtered through our reasoning faculties and modulated.

Healthy anger is verbally expressed in a civilized and controlled manner and its aim is not to injure, attack, insult or otherwise harm the anger-provoking person, but resolve the anger-provoking situation.

Healthy anger is quickly released once the conflict is over and not held onto as resentment or hard feelings.

And when we can do all that, then with a sigh of relief we may proudly say, Thank God, I Don’t Have Anger “Issues”!!!

Ismini Apostoli

 

Do you often lose your temper? Do you often say things that later you regret because of anger? Do others consider you a volatile person.

.

Oh My God!!! Do I Have Anger “Issues”?

.

Do you often lose your temper? Do you often say things that later you regret because of anger? Do others consider you a volatile person, afraid to be around you, not knowing why or when you will suddenly erupt? Do you feel entitled to having these angry reactions, do you feel that others “make” you angry? Do you sometimes find that anger gives you power over others? Do you sometimes feel that if you don’t do something like breaking an object, or slamming a door, you are going to burst? Have you ever felt weak and incapable of controlling your anger? Have you become violent towards another person because of anger? Have you damaged a person’s property because of anger? If your answer is yes to just a couple of the above, then, Oh My God, You Have Anger Issues!

What is anger? Is it ok? Yes, anger is ok. It is one of our basic reactions and feelings and a natural part of our lives. It is an emotional signal of displeasure with an event or behaviour we have encountered. One of our basic skills in life is how to feel our anger, how to manage our anger, and how to express our anger appropriately. However, anger, being a reaction to some sort of conflict between our desires and the response of the environment, should not be a permanent attribute of our personality, but rather a temporary feeling which subsides as soon as the conflict is resolved.

What are the many faces of anger? Well, have you ever met a person who is constantly angry about something? There are some people who have integrated anger into their personality style as a permanent trait. They are always angry about everything. They get easily frustrated over small things, get annoyed at events that others simply ignore, and carry their anger wherever they go. No matter what the occasion, they will find something to be dissatisfied with, something they will find very annoying. It seems as if they are intentionally focusing on what can make them mad, as an excuse to let their anger out. Sometimes, such people discover that with their anger they gain control and power over others, and may use their anger deliberately as a manipulative technique. Intimidators, bullies may fall in this category.

Then, there is anger resulting from “narcissistic injury” or a perceived attack on self-esteem and feelings of insult and shame. People with unhealthy self-esteem, who feel unworthy or unloved and carry a lot of shame within them, tend to feel inordinate shame at small insignificant comments made by others, are overly touchy when criticized, ignored, or neglected and may erupt in quite violent anger, often termed “narcissistic rage”. This type of anger turned against the person who has caused the insult or the shaming experience is a way the “insulted” person has found to hit back, get revenge, or release these very intense feelings.

Another variant of narcissistic anger is paranoid anger, often as an extension of the former. In narcissistic anger what is threatened and being responded to is a perceived threat to shaky self-esteem. In paranoid anger the perceived threat is against the person’s basic security or safety. Everyone is out to get such a person, take his/her job, do him/her an injustice, fool and deceive him/her etc. This anger stems from deep feelings of insecurity and lack of trust and is expressed with self-entitlement as a means of protection against the evilness of others. Often, this type of anger takes the form of “moral indignation” – accusing others of being “wrong” or “bad” or “immoral” giving the angry person a false feeling of superiority, while covering underlying feelings of weakness, vulnerability, insecurity, or envy.

The most dangerous type of anger is sudden, explosive anger, which occurs when the individual totally loses control of himself. The causes for this type of anger may be any of the ones mentioned above, and the intensity of the anger reaction can be attributed to faulty impulse control, which may be evident in other forms of extreme impulsivity in that person’s life. People suffering from such anger may harm others or themselves as a way to rid themselves of these very powerful feelings and gain relief.

On the other hand, there are people who are afraid of anger. Perhaps, in their childhood they were taught that it was not appropriate to express anger, or they were so afraid of other people’s anger that they decided that anger was “bad”. Some people are so afraid of anger that not only do they not express it, but cover it up with various defenses so that they do not feel their anger anymore. Such people’s main concern is to keep the peace at all costs, not rock the boat, not gain the displeasure of another person, not make things even worse, not lose acceptance or love. Anger, theirs or other people’s, is just too upsetting, it disturbs their sense of security and safety and such people tend to shrink back from it and systematically avoid it. Frequently, depression or psychosomatic symptoms may result from this constant repression of anger.

Another type of not expressed anger is called passive-aggressive anger. If the people in the previous category get tumors, people in this category can “cause” tumors to others, by their obstinate uncooperativeness. Frustrating others is their specialty and their cup of tea. Late for appointments, dates, “forgetful” of things, professional procrastinators, and all of that under a meak and mild countenance and a guileless smile. In contrast to repressed anger, which is not consciously felt by the individual, passive-aggressive anger is consciously felt and consciously expressed in this indirect and masked style as a way of revenge or control of others.

And, finally, there is “healthy” anger. What are the characteristics of healthy anger?

Healthy anger is consciously felt – not repressed or avoided.

Healthy anger is filtered through our reasoning faculties and modulated.

Healthy anger is verbally expressed in a civilized and controlled manner and its aim is not to injure, attack, insult or otherwise harm the anger-provoking person, but resolve the anger-provoking situation.

Healthy anger is quickly released once the conflict is over and not held onto as resentment or hard feelings.

And when we can do all that, then with a sigh of relief we may proudly say, Thank God, I Don’t Have Anger “Issues”!!!

Ismini Apostoli

 

Healthy anger is quickly released once the conflict is over/not held onto as resentment/hard feelings.

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Healthy anger is quickly released once the conflict is over and not held onto as resentment or hard feelings.

Do you often lose your temper? Do you often say things that later you regret because of anger? Do others consider you a volatile person, afraid to be around you, not knowing why or when you will suddenly erupt? Do you feel entitled to having these angry reactions, do you feel that others “make” you angry? Do you sometimes find that anger gives you power over others? Do you sometimes feel that if you don’t do something like breaking an object, or slamming a door, you are going to burst? Have you ever felt weak and incapable of controlling your anger? Have you become violent towards another person because of anger? Have you damaged a person’s property because of anger? If your answer is yes to just a couple of the above, then, Oh My God, You Have Anger Issues!

What is anger? Is it ok? Yes, anger is ok. It is one of our basic reactions and feelings and a natural part of our lives. It is an emotional signal of displeasure with an event or behavior we have encountered. One of our basic skills in life is how to feel our anger, how to manage our anger, and how to express our anger appropriately. However, anger, being a reaction to some sort of conflict between our desires and the response of the environment, should not be a permanent attribute of our personality, but rather a temporary feeling which subsides as soon as the conflict is resolved.

What are the many faces of anger? Well, have you ever met a person who is constantly angry about something? There are some people who have integrated anger into their personality style as a permanent trait. They are always angry about everything. They get easily frustrated over small things, get annoyed at events that others simply ignore, and carry their anger wherever they go. No matter what the occasion, they will find something to be dissatisfied with, something they will find very annoying. It seems as if they are intentionally focusing on what can make them mad, as an excuse to let their anger out. Sometimes, such people discover that with their anger they gain control and power over others, and may use their anger deliberately as a manipulative technique. Intimidators, bullies may fall in this category.

Then, there is anger resulting from “narcissistic injury” or a perceived attack on self-esteem and feelings of insult and shame. People with unhealthy self-esteem, who feel unworthy or unloved and carry a lot of shame within them, tend to feel inordinate shame at small insignificant comments made by others, are overly touchy when criticized, ignored, or neglected and may erupt in quite violent anger, often termed “narcissistic rage”. This type of anger turned against the person who has caused the insult or the shaming experience is a way the “insulted” person has found to hit back, get revenge, or release these very intense feelings.

Another variant of narcissistic anger is paranoid anger, often as an extension of the former. In narcissistic anger what is threatened and being responded to is a perceived threat to shaky self-esteem. In paranoid anger the perceived threat is against the person’s basic security or safety. Everyone is out to get such a person, take his/her job, do him/her an injustice, fool and deceive him/her etc. This anger stems from deep feelings of insecurity and lack of trust and is expressed with self-entitlement as a means of protection against the evilness of others. Often, this type of anger takes the form of “moral indignation” – accusing others of being “wrong” or “bad” or “immoral” giving the angry person a false feeling of superiority, while covering underlying feelings of weakness, vulnerability, insecurity, or envy.

The most dangerous type of anger is sudden, explosive anger, which occurs when the individual totally loses control of himself. The causes for this type of anger may be any of the ones mentioned above, and the intensity of the anger reaction can be attributed to faulty impulse control, which may be evident in other forms of extreme impulsivity in that person’s life. People suffering from such anger may harm others or themselves as a way to rid themselves of these very powerful feelings and gain relief.

On the other hand, there are people who are afraid of anger. Perhaps, in their childhood they were taught that it was not appropriate to express anger, or they were so afraid of other people’s anger that they decided that anger was “bad”. Some people are so afraid of anger that not only do they not express it, but cover it up with various defences so that they do not feel their anger any more. Such people’s main concern is to keep the peace at all costs, not rock the boat, not gain the displeasure of another person, not make things even worse, not lose acceptance or love. Anger, theirs or other people’s, is just too upsetting, it disturbs their sense of security and safety and such people tend to shrink back from it and systematically avoid it. Frequently, depression or psychosomatic symptoms may result from this constant repression of anger.

Another type of not expressed anger is called passive-aggressive anger. If the people in the previous category get tumors, people in this category can “cause” tumors to others, by their obstinate uncooperativeness. Frustrating others is their speciality and their cup of tea. Late for appointments, dates, “forgetful” of things, professional procrastinators, and all of that under a meak and mild countenance and a guileless smile. In contrast to repressed anger, which is not consciously felt by the individual, passive-aggressive anger is consciously felt and consciously expressed in this indirect and masked style as a way of revenge or control of others.

And, finally, there is “healthy” anger. What are the characteristics of healthy anger?

Healthy anger is consciously felt – not repressed or avoided.

Healthy anger is filtered through our reasoning faculties and modulated.

Healthy anger is verbally expressed in a civilized and controlled manner and its aim is not to injure, attack, insult or otherwise harm the anger-provoking person, but resolve the anger-provoking situation.

Healthy anger is quickly released once the conflict is over and not held onto as resentment or hard feelings.

And when we can do all that, then with a sigh of relief we may proudly say, Thank God, I Don’t Have Anger “Issues”!!!

Ismini Apostoli

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The people, with whom we develop close and intimate relationships and who play a significant role in our lives, are there for a purpose.

 

Spiritual growth is a process of atonement and the undoing of our mistaken beliefs and delusions. It is a journey towards wholeness, during which we attempt to master our minds, manage our emotions and conquer our fears. We do not live in a vacuum and we cannot get through life without other people. This is for a very good reason: In isolation, self-actualisation would be limited or non-existent and we need to be exposed to other people to grow. Personal healing is the main purpose for being among other people. Relationships offer us the opportunity to re-create ourselves, re-member who we are and to develop our potential. Relationships present us with ample opportunities to change, to grow, to expand our awareness and to increase our vibration.

 

The modern mystic does not have the privilege of retreating to a monastery, seeking solitude, quieting the mind and spending time in the company of enlightened Masters for spiritual growth purposes. Today we are faced with the challenge of maintaining a job, paying the bills, caring for a family and dealing with the pressures of our modern lifestyle, while attending to our spiritual growth. Times have changed and we should regard our homes and our work places as monasteries or temples where we can learn and grow spiritually. Therefore, every situation, encounter and relationship provides opportunities for self-mastery. Every person, situation and problem you encounter is ateacher. Every single individual you meet can also be perceived as astudent. If you perceive others as students, it encourages you to be the best possible role model for the other person. We are all students, but also teachers – instruments of the Divine. We have a divine purpose or contract that we need to fulfill.

 

The people, with whom we develop close and intimate relationships and who play a significant role in our lives, are there for a purpose. Some of the people we encounter are supportive, loving, kind and positive towards us. We would not believe in ourselves or develop self-worth if people did not listen to us, value our judgement, trust or love us. We need love and support, but supportive behaviour does not provide us with significant opportunities for growth. The people who annoy, oppose, hurt, reject and betray us are our best teachers. We should cherish and be grateful for the people who elicit negative emotions. While dealing with a difficult interpersonal issue, it may be hard to comprehend or understand why it happened. It is often in retrospect that we realise that the hardship or suffering we endured, enabled us to develop inner strength and build character – qualities essential for future success.

 

Early in life, we tend to focus on what we possess, on what we have achieved, or what we do for a living. Later in life, we realise that a meaningful life depends on how we are and what we have become. Change is the only constant in life and we are always in the process of becoming. We were given the power of choice and our relationships present us with opportunities to decide who we are and what type of person we want to become. Our relationships have the potential to bring out the best or the worst in us. The rapport and relationships that we establish with others, present us with ample opportunities to develop virtues such as unconditional love, empathy, tolerance, compassion, patience, trust, integrity, honesty, loyalty, sincerity and forgiveness. The company we keep and some teachers give us the opportunity to develop vices such as impatience, dishonesty, indifference, apathy, cruelty and mean, deceitful or violent behaviour. The power of choice rests within each individual.

By our own author Susan Minnaar

 

People who annoy, oppose, hurt, reject and betray us are our best teachers.

 

Spiritual growth is a process of atonement and the undoing of our mistaken beliefs and delusions. It is a journey towards wholeness, during which we attempt to master our minds, manage our emotions and conquer our fears. We do not live in a vacuum and we cannot get through life without other people. This is for a very good reason: In isolation, self-actualisation would be limited or non-existent and we need to be exposed to other people to grow. Personal healing is the main purpose for being among other people. Relationships offer us the opportunity to re-create ourselves, re-member who we are and to develop our potential. Relationships present us with ample opportunities to change, to grow, to expand our awareness and to increase our vibration.

The modern mystic does not have the privilege of retreating to a monastery, seeking solitude, quieting the mind and spending time in the company of enlightened Masters for spiritual growth purposes. Today we are faced with the challenge of maintaining a job, paying the bills, caring for a family and dealing with the pressures of our modern lifestyle, while attending to our spiritual growth. Times have changed and we should regard our homes and our work places as monasteries or temples where we can learn and grow spiritually. Therefore, every situation, encounter and relationship provides opportunities for self-mastery. Every person, situation and problem you encounter is ateacher. Every single individual you meet can also be perceived as astudent. If you perceive others as students, it encourages you to be the best possible role model for the other person. We are all students, but also teachers – instruments of the Divine. We have a divine purpose or contract that we need to fulfill.

The people, with whom we develop close and intimate relationships and who play a significant role in our lives, are there for a purpose. Some of the people we encounter are supportive, loving, kind and positive towards us. We would not believe in ourselves or develop self-worth if people did not listen to us, value our judgement, trust or love us. We need love and support, but supportive behaviour does not provide us with significant opportunities for growth. The people who annoy, oppose, hurt, reject and betray us are our best teachers. We should cherish and be grateful for the people who elicit negative emotions. While dealing with a difficult interpersonal issue, it may be hard to comprehend or understand why it happened. It is often in retrospect that we realise that the hardship or suffering we endured, enabled us to develop inner strength and build character – qualities essential for future success.

Early in life, we tend to focus on what we possess, on what we have achieved, or what we do for a living. Later in life, we realise that a meaningful life depends on how we are and what we have become. Change is the only constant in life and we are always in the process of becoming. We were given the power of choice and our relationships present us with opportunities to decide who we are and what type of person we want to become. Our relationships have the potential to bring out the best or the worst in us. The rapport and relationships that we establish with others, present us with ample opportunities to develop virtues such as unconditional love, empathy, tolerance, compassion, patience, trust, integrity, honesty, loyalty, sincerity and forgiveness. The company we keep and some teachers give us the opportunity to develop vices such as impatience, dishonesty, indifference, apathy, cruelty and mean, deceitful or violent behaviour. The power of choice rests within each individual.

By our own author Susan Minnaar