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Not making a choice is actually also a choice that you make.

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freshstartnow

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Most of us sooner or later discover that we have two forces that course through our veins. We automatically vacillate between the “upper” and “lower” limits of this force on a moment to moment basis. The UPPER end of the pole of this system is called the “ACTION” zone and the “LOWEST” end of this pole is characterized as the “NON-ACTION” zone. The feelings generated by thoughts, events or for that matter everything and everyone we encounter decides the quality of the output we intend using to deal with the matter at hand. The mistake we make is that many of us think that we are at the mercy of this so-called automatic reaction patterns that endlessly flood our minds and hearts daily. We jump with joy and run like the wind when good feelings are generated by the thought or event that we are confronted with (ACTION) or shut down and retreat into a dark place in our minds (NON-ACTION). What many of us never knew or understood is that there is no need to remain a victim of our historical conditioning or past mistakes. All that is real and valid is our current moment. We can if we decide to take control act in an appropriate and powerful manner notwithstanding the threat and feelings of doubt that we might be confronted with. You are part of a universal force that caters for evolution on a moment to moment basis. Call this force God my friend if it will make you feel more comfortable. This force is fair and allows every living thing in the universe to evolve, grow and expand notwithstanding his or her history. You can make a fresh start on a moment to moment basis. You are allocated 86400 new moments in any given day where you can make a fresh start. There is no need to fear failure or hide in the “NON-ACTION” zone. The NON-ACTION zone is a place where you become stagnant and RESIST risking the possibility of getting hurt or disappointed. The choices you make decide the quality of the outcomes you experience daily. Very few of us understand that not making a choice is actually also a choice that you make. You choose NON-ACTION and RESISTANCE and give up control.

 

Spend some time today to probe why you have this reluctance to take action. What is the cause of the resistance deep inside you that is preventing you from being the best you that you can ever be? Now make a list of all the things you will do if you knew that you cannot fail. Make a list of everything that comes to mind. Think it and then ink it. I will continue this series tomorrow.

 

Rene

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Posted by on March 10, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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I WILL DO THE THINGS I FEAR UNTIL IT LOSES ITS HOLD ON MY MIND!

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couragemark

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WHAT PAIN OR PLEASURE WE LINK TO SITUATIONS AND PEOPLE DETERMINES HOW WE ACT AND REACT TO THEM. WE CANNOT ACT IN A MANNER THAT PROVOKES PAIN IN PEOPLE AND EXPECT RESPECT, LOVE AND COMPASSION FROM THEM!

 

People move towards pleasure provoking experiences and away from pain provoking experiences. They move towards people that make them feel good and away from people that make them feel worthless and defective. This law must always be kept in mind if you want to influence people in a positive manner.

It will be idiotic to constantly say and do things that cause somebody pain and expect loyalty and dedication from such person. How can you kick a person in the teeth and expect him or her to love and respect you. We might not always physically kick people, but some of the things we do, fail to do or say often cause more pain than a kick in the teeth.

 

Everything you do or refrain from doing is governed by your perception you have of such event. If you for example find it difficult to motivate yourself to do something that you know need to be done you will find “potential pain avoidance” at the root of you resistance. We usually select the potential pleasure route in all our actions and decisions. If we have any idea that we might be exposed to potentially pain we try our level best avoid such contacts.

Just think for a moment about this principle. When you see or think of certain people what reaction do they evoke in you? If a person activates any level of discomfort in you, you will always react and respond accordingly. An opinion is formed quickly and usually takes years to modify. Most people lives their live according to this law or principal. Once they formed a perception about something or someone it takes a massive jolt to dislodge perceptions. Because we are pleasure seeking entities we tend to run on tracks for the best part of our lives. We thus get stuck in a pattern and will continue to follow this path until the day we expire.

 

Leaders and champions are bold enough to break these patterns and confront their fears. They know that mediocre and substandard performances are caused by the avoidance of potential pain. You can never grow, learn and win while you remain in your comfort zone. It is only when you go beyond your comfort threshold that progress can be made.

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I WILL BECOME OUTCOME FOCUSED TODAY. I WILL DO THE THINGS I FEAR UNTIL IT LOSES ITS HOLD ON MY MIND!

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We often know what we need or want in life, but we hardly ever do something about it. The main reason for this is because we amplify the potential pain so much that it outweighs the potential pleasure that reaching our goal would provide us.

If you want to stop smoking or lose weight you have to make your perceived “outcome” so exciting and pleasure provoking that it will make the effort that will be needed to work through the potential pain part less dominant. You will never reach your desired objective while the fear of the pain outweighs the potential pleasure of the outcome. It is thus imperative that you desire your outcome more than the obstacle that you may encounter along the way. Only when you become excited and motivated about your outcome will you have enough staying power to hang in until the objective (pleasure) is achieved.

 

If you want to become influential, you will have to learn to use this law to your advantage. You will make it easy for people to be with you and do business with you. You will say and do things that will activate expectations of potential pleasure not pain. All your actions and reactions must show people that you respect their point of view and that you are there to help them to achieve their own objectives. Always remember that most people you deal with are running on preconceived tracks or perceptions.

 

Rene

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Posted by on February 24, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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A champion knows that his winter season will pass like so many times before and make way for a brand new summer.

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1. A child reared without clear boundaries has little chance of success. Limits are necessary to give purpose, direction and structure to life. The fool swims in a boundless sea of opportunity and finally drowns because of his failure to latch onto a specific purpose. He tries to own the sea while the wise man selects a single purpose (opportunity/goal) and then pursue it with all his heart. The wise man understands the power of commitment and focused thought and is well rewarded.

2. A defeated person becomes indifferent about his fate. He finally stops feeling ashamed or sorry. He stops resisting and fighting to reclaim his dignity. The wise is very aware that passive behaviour could make him act like a dog with a broken spirit. Our parks are filled with defeated individuals that tragically accepted their fate in life.

3. A desperate or worried person displays the tendency to cling to anything or anyone that displays even slight compassion. A true warrior understands that this behaviour will eventually exhaust the person that he clings to. A champion never makes panic decisions or choices. He lives in the moment and knows that his winter season will pass like so many times before and make way for a brand new summer.

4. A few moments of indiscretion could become a burden that you might haunt you for the rest of your life. The need for instant gratification is usually at the root of most of our less spectacular choices. Any choice that we make can be compared to the pull of a trigger on a gun. Once the bullet leaves the barrel it cannot be recalled.

5. A good friend is like a good investment. To make good longterm friends be a friend. Friends become a shield in troubled times. Friendship is not a one-sided deal. There are people that claim that they are your friends, but they are often just stranger exploiting you. Several of the friends you make during your lifetime will stick a knife in your back the first time your friendship is really tested.

6. A grievance poisons your mind and chains you to the past. It leaves you bitter and twisted. Everyday of your life you chose between grievances and freedom. You must make up your mind if you want “pain” or “joy” or the “old” or the “new”. When you choose to go for freedom then learning the art of letting go becomes a top priority. When you have mastered the art of letting go of your history you begin to predominantly live in the now.

7. A man that cannot find enough compassion in his heart to forgive is a fool. We all make mistakes, but the fool continues trying to convince everybody that he is flawless. When you master the art of forgiveness you enter a safe harbour and gain peace of mind.

8. A man that is mature, fair and respectable is worth more than precious jewellery. Everybody respects maturity and predictability. Wisdom only comes to those that are slow to anger and careful in their judgement.

9. A man that lacks self-esteem needs titles and certificates to justify his position in life. A man at peace with who he is does not need the constant blessing or praise of others. Never allow a person’s title or position to intimidate or dominate you. See yourself on equal footing with others. Do not allow a person to intimidate you with his pedigree or current superior vantage point.

10. A man with willpower always has the best chance of coming out on top. The main reason why people fail is not because they do not have the skills and know-how, but because they lack the willpower. A person without willpower and determination always ends up the slave of those that do.


Rene

 

(from my book – PORTABLE LIFE SKILLS WISDOM GUIDE)

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ALSO READ THE FOLLOWING AT THE LINK BELOW

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“Compassion is not religious business, it is human business, it is not luxury, it is essential for our peace and mental stability, it is essential for human survival” – The Dalai Lama

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Posted by on January 31, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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How to Tell If Someone Is Lying!

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pausethink

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When someone is acting suspiciously at an airport, subway station or other public space, how can law enforcement officers determine whether he’s up to no good?

The ability to effectively detect deception is crucial to public safety, particularly in the wake of renewed threats against the U.S. following the killing of Osama bin Laden.

UCLA professor of psychology R. Edward Geiselman has been studying these questions for years and has taught investigative interviewing techniques to detectives and intelligence officers from the FBI, the Department of Homeland Security, the Marines, the Los Angeles police and sheriff’s departments, and numerous international agencies.

He and three former UCLA undergraduates – Sandra Elmgren, Chris Green and Ida Rystad – analyzed some 60 studies on detecting deception and have conducted original research on the subject. They present their findings and their guidance for how to conduct effective training programs for detecting deception in the current issue of the American Journal of Forensic Psychiatry, which is published this week.

Geiselman and his colleagues have identified several indicators that a person is being deceptive. The more reliable red flags that indicate deceit, Geiselman said, include:

  • When questioned, deceptive people generally want to say as little as possible. Geiselman initially thought they would tell an elaborate story, but the vast majority give only the bare-bones. Studies with college students, as well as prisoners, show this. Geiselman’s investigative interviewing techniques are designed to get people to talk.

    • Although deceptive people do not say much, they tend to spontaneously give a justification for what little they are saying, without being prompted.

    • They tend to repeat questions before answering them, perhaps to give themselves time to concoct an answer.

    • They often monitor the listener’s reaction to what they are saying. “They try to read you to see if you are buying their story,” Geiselman said.

    • They often initially slow down their speech because they have to create their story and monitor your reaction, and when they have it straight “will spew it out faster,” Geiselman said. Truthful people are not bothered if they speak slowly, but deceptive people often think slowing their speech down may look suspicious. “Truthful people will not dramatically alter their speech rate within a single sentence,” he said.

    • They tend to use sentence fragments more frequently than truthful people; often, they will start an answer, back up and not complete the sentence.

    • They are more likely to press their lips when asked a sensitive question and are more likely to play with their hair or engage in other “grooming” behaviors. Gesturing toward one’s self with the hands tends to be a sign of deception; gesturing outwardly is not.

    • Truthful people, if challenged about details, will often deny that they are lying and explain even more, while deceptive people generally will not provide more specifics.

    • When asked a difficult question, truthful people will often look away because the question requires concentration, while dishonest people will look away only briefly, if at all, unless it is a question that should require intense concentration.

If dishonest people try to mask these normal reactions to lying, they would be even more obvious, Geiselman said. Among the techniques he teaches to enable detectives to tell the truth from lies are:

  • Have people tell their story backwards, starting at the end and systematically working their way back. Instruct them to be as complete and detailed as they can. This technique, part of a “cognitive interview” Geiselman co-developed with Ronald Fisher, a former UCLA psychologist now at Florida International University, “increases the cognitive load to push them over the edge.” A deceptive person, even a “professional liar,” is “under a heavy cognitive load” as he tries to stick to his story while monitoring your reaction.

    • Ask open-ended questions to get them to provide as many details and as much complete information as possible (“Can you tell me more about…?” “Tell me exactly…”). First ask general questions, and only then get more specific.

    • Don’t interrupt, let them talk and use silent pauses to encourage them to talk.

If someone in an airport or other public space is behaving suspiciously and when approached exhibits a majority of the more reliable red flags, Geiselman recommends pulling him or her aside for more questioning. If there are only one or two red flags, he would probably let them go.

Geiselman tested techniques for telling the truth from deception with hundreds of UCLA students, and the studies he and his co-authors analyzed involved thousands of people.

Detecting deception is difficult, Geiselman said, but training programs can be effective. Programs must be extensive, with an education phase followed by numerous video examples, and a phase in which those being trained judge video clips and simulate real-world interviewing. Training should be conducted on multiple days over a period of a week or two.

“People can learn to perform better at detecting deception,” Geiselman said. “However, police departments usually do not provide more than a day of training for their detectives, if that, and the available research shows that you can’t improve much in just a day.”

When Geiselman conducted training with Marine intelligence officers, he found that they were impressively accurate in detecting deception even before the training began. In contrast, the average college student is only 53 percent accurate without training, and with abbreviated training, “we often make them worse,” he said.

“Without training, many people think they can detect deception, but their perceptions are unrelated to their actual ability. Quick, inadequate training sessions lead people to over-analyze and to do worse than if they go with their gut reactions.”

Geiselman is currently developing a training program that he hopes will effectively compress the learning curve and thus will serve to replicate years of experience.

The cognitive interview that Geiselman and Fisher developed works well with both criminal suspects and eyewitnesses of crimes. Geiselman thinks these techniques are likely to work in non-crime settings as well, but said additional research should be done in this area.

In the next year, Geiselman plans to teach police detectives techniques for investigative interviewing and spotting deception through the U.S. Department of Homeland Security’s Rural Policing Institute for underserved police departments. He says this will be a perfect fit for him because he comes from Culver, Ind., a small town that has fewer residents than UCLA has psychology majors.

Later this month, Geiselman will travel to Hong Kong to provide training in investigative interviewing to the Independent Commission Against Corruption.

An instructional course Geiselman taught on investigative interviewing before the second Iraq war resulted in cognitive interviewing techniques that were used to interdict some insurgent activity in Iraq, perhaps saving many lives, he was later informed.

Geiselman also has worked with the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department on effective techniques for interviewing children who may have been molested and has interviewed crime victims for police departments around the country in murder cases gone cold. His research has been funded by the U.S. Department of Justice and the U.S. Department of Homeland Security.

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By Stuart Wolpert / Source: UCLA Newsroom

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Posted by on January 29, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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The link between aggressive behaviour and sexual arousal.

Many relationships that flush down the toilet have uncontrollable anger in their foundations.

Scientists in US have found a link between aggressive behaviour and sexual arousal.

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Violent behaviour in mice has been tracked to neurons within a part of the brain associated with sex.

 

Researchers discovered that sex and violence are intertwined in mice. A tiny patch of cells buried deep within a male”s brain determines whether it fights or mates, and there is good reason to believe humans possess a similar circuit.

 

The study shows that when these neurons are quieted, mice ignore intruding males they would otherwise attack.

 

Yet when the cells are activated, mice assault inanimate objects, and even females they ought to court.

 

“We really don”t know which part of the brain went wrong in those mice. Consequently it”s tough to make sense of that behaviour,” says Dayu Lin, a neuroscientist now at New York University and an author of the study, who began searching for the seat of aggression in mice while working with David Anderson at the California Institute of Technology inPasadena.

 

As part of the study, the researchers exposed male mice to consecutive encounters with other intruding male and female mice.

 

They then examined the brain areas activated by the encounters by labelling brain cells with a fluorescent tag that can distinguish recently active neurons. Surprisingly, neurons within a region called the ventromedial hypothalamus (VMH) snapped into action during fights – but also during sex.

 

Perplexed, the team implanted male mice withelectrodes capable of measuring single cells in this area of the brain and watched what happened when mice fought or mated. Most of the neurons fired specifically during sex or bouts of violence, but a handful fired during both of these seemingly opposing behaviours.

 

The researchers next infected neurons in this region with a virus that inserts a gene that renders them responsive to blue light – a technique called optogenetics. With an optic fibre implanted into the brains of these mice, Lin and Anderson could fire these neurons on command.

 

When they did so, male mice wasted little time attacking other intruding males. Activating neurons in the aggression centre also provoked assaults on castrated males, whom males would usually ignore, as well as anesthetized animals and even an inflated laboratory glove.

 

Switching on these neurons also drove males to attack females – but only up to a point. When males first encountered a female, activating the neurons sent them into attack mode. However, if sex had already ensued, the researchers could not elicit the mice to attack.

 

“It”s kind of in its own world. It doesn”t listen to anything else,” Lin says. However, activating the aggression circuit post-coitus provoked a swift attack on the female.

 

Quieting the aggression centre also stopped mice from acting on violent urges. Animals expressing a gene in these cells that silences them didn”t attack intruding males, at though their sexual appetites remained.

 

Lin and Anderson hypothesize that the entanglement of brain circuits involved in sex and violence could help mice to respond appropriately to intruders, whether male or female.

 

They suggest that the neurons activated by sex suppress the urge to lash out against an unknown female.

 

The study has been published in Nature today.

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http://www.topnews.in/health/sex-and-aggression-linked-brain-210733

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Posted by on January 29, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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You can make a fresh start on a moment to moment basis.

.

freshstartnow

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Most of us sooner or later discover that we have two forces that course through our veins. We automatically vacillate between the “upper” and “lower” limits of this force on a moment to moment basis. The UPPER end of the pole of this system is called the “ACTION” zone and the “LOWEST” end of this pole is characterized as the “NON-ACTION” zone. The feelings generated by thoughts, events or for that matter everything and everyone we encounter decides the quality of the output we intend using to deal with the matter at hand. The mistake we make is that many of us think that we are at the mercy of this so-called automatic reaction patterns that endlessly flood our minds and hearts daily. We jump with joy and run like the wind when good feelings are generated by the thought or event that we are confronted with (ACTION) or shut down and retreat into a dark place in our minds (NON-ACTION). What many of us never knew or understood is that there is no need to remain a victim of our historical conditioning or past mistakes. All that is real and valid is our current moment. We can if we decide to take control act in an appropriate and powerful manner notwithstanding the threat and feelings of doubt that we might be confronted with. You are part of a universal force that caters for evolution on a moment to moment basis. Call this force God my friend if it will make you feel more comfortable. This force is fair and allows every living thing in the universe to evolve, grow and expand notwithstanding his or her history. You can make a fresh start on a moment to moment basis. You are allocated 86400 new moments in any given day where you can make a fresh start. There is no need to fear failure or hide in the “NON-ACTION” zone. The NON-ACTION zone is a place where you become stagnant and RESIST risking the possibility of getting hurt or disappointed. The choices you make decide the quality of the outcomes you experience daily. Very few of us understand that not making a choice is actually also a choice that you make. You choose NON-ACTION and RESISTANCE and give up control.

 

Spend some time today to probe why you have this reluctance to take action. What is the cause of the resistance deep inside you that is preventing you from being the best you that you can ever be? Now make a list of all the things you will do if you knew that you cannot fail. Make a list of everything that comes to mind. Think it and then ink it. I will continue this series tomorrow.

 

Rene

.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on January 12, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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There’s one part of a woman’s body that doesn’t lie – Her breasts.

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There may be something Freudian about it, but according to Shukan Gendaiall men ever need to know about women they can judge by looking at where they’d always like to focus anyway — her breasts.

Despite the titters of those around him, Mitsugu Shiga, a medical doctor and author of the book “Marugoto Wakaru Onna no Ecchi,” (Everything You Wanted to Know About Women’s Sex), claims to be an augurer of the aureole.

And though he has his knockers, Shiga is confident his breast readings not only allow him to keep abreast of a woman’s character, but rarely see him make any boobies.

“Discerning a woman’s character through her looks is extremely difficult. But if there’s one part of a woman’s body that doesn’t lie, I’d have to say it was her breasts,” the doctor tells Shukan Gendai.

Shiga has been conducting clinical tests for close on 40 years, paying particular attention during that time to mammaries. What he has learned has allowed him to come up with a variety of theories about how breast shape determines character.

“Breasts come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Analyzing breasts by comparing the ratio between the radius of the base and the size allows breasts to be divided into three broad categories. They can easily be assessed,” Shiga says.

Shukan Gendai notes the three types of breast sizes are large, standard and flat, the latter accounting for about one quarter of all women who are unable to boast of breasts that stand out no more than a few centimeters from the chest and are considerably smaller than their radius.

“(Flat-chested women) are quick thinkers who usually focus on only one man. Usually, they could care less about sex,” Shiga tells Shukan Gendai, adding that men can persuade women to change. “Usually, these women are noble and sincere types, so once they find their man, they’ll normally do whatever he wants them to and that becomes their pleasure.

“One matter where these women tend to lack is their low self-esteem when it comes to breast size. They’re always worried their men are playing around on them. I recommend doggy style with these women so they can forget about their shortcomings and enjoy themselves.”

A standard-sized bust is regarded as one that protrudes about 5 to 6 centimeters from the chest and is roughly equal to its radius.

“This is the ideal shape for a breast. It’s not too large and not too small. It has a feminine bulge about it,” Shiga proclaims to Shukan Gendai. “When it comes to character, women with average-sized breasts also have a straight-forwardness pleasant to most men.”

It is in the sack, according to Shiga, where that straightforwardness comes to the fore.

“They’re easygoing and enjoy sex for what it is. They’re the types who really go off once they’ve been fired up,” the doctor says. “It’s typical for them to forget their partner and go off into their own little world, which can be both a blessing and a bane. It might be a good idea to give them a go on top every now and again.”

Mammoth mammaries are a good sign, the physician claims.

“They have the sturdiness of an ox and usually indicate a woman with a positive attitude toward sex and life in general. They’ll come up with positions by themselves. It’s not easy for guys to play around on these types. Once you marry a woman like this, you’d better be sure you’re committed to only her.”

Considering breasts are the source by which most of us survive the early stages of our lives, it shouldn’t really come as a surprise that Shiga claims they offer a hint to determining the type of person they belong to.

“Breasts are basically lumps of fat. What makes them bigger is large doses of the female hormone estrogen. Breasts are, therefore, a symbol of a woman’s femininity,” he tells Shukan Gendai. “That’s why looking at a woman’s breasts can help in predicting what sort of character she has and the type of sex she enjoys.”

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Posted by on January 9, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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