We Are Hardwired to Be Kind and Compassionate.

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Greed is good. War is inevitable. Whether in political theory or popular culture, human nature is often portrayed as selfish and power hungry. UC Berkeley psychologist Dacher Keltner challenges this notion of human nature and seeks to better understand why we evolved pro-social emotions like empathy, compassion and gratitude.

We’ve all heard the phrase ‘survival of the fittest’, born from the Darwinian theory of natural selection. Keltner adds nuance to this concept by delving deeper into Darwin’s idea that sympathy is one of the strongest human instincts — sometimes stronger than self-interest.

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There is nothing you can do about past mistakes and poor choices that you made.

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A man that cannot find enough compassion in his heart to forgive is a fool. We all make mistakes, but the fool continues trying to convince everybody that he is flawless. When you master the art of forgiveness you enter a safe harbour and gain peace of mind. An energy bubble surrounds each one of us. This energy field is charged by your predominant focus at any given moment in time. People can sense when anger, grief or revengeful thoughts are trapped in this energy field. You need to sanitize this invisible energy bubble that accompanies you wherever you go if you want to improve your health or lifestyle. Letting go of the past is a good place to start. The key to a clear energy field is forgiveness. Not only the forgiveness of others, but of yourself. Do not allow your past to hold you at ransom. Forgive yourself unconditionally and get on with the game of life. Even if the mistakes that you made in the past shook the world in its foundations you still need to put them behind you. Remember you are not the mistakes that you made. You are not your history. Let go of the past or unconditionally accept the current mediocre role or position that you are in. You cannot cross the bridge of life if you continue to keep your one foot on the yesterday’s side of the bridge. If you want to cleanse yourself you will have to forgive yourself unconditionally. You must see past mistakes as stepping-stones. There is nothing you can do about past mistakes and poor choices that you made. Forgive yourself and learn from your mistakes. Be gentle with yourself. Only when you can become your own best friend will you begin to make real progress in life. If you want to forgive a person for what he or she has done to you, you will need to erase his wrongdoings or no real forgiveness can take place.

Rene

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I WILL DO THE THINGS I FEAR UNTIL IT LOSES ITS HOLD ON MY MIND!

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WHAT PAIN OR PLEASURE WE LINK TO SITUATIONS AND PEOPLE DETERMINES HOW WE ACT AND REACT TO THEM. WE CANNOT ACT IN A MANNER THAT PROVOKES PAIN IN PEOPLE AND EXPECTS RESPECT, LOVE AND COMPASSION FROM THEM!

 

People move towards pleasure provoking experiences and away from pain provoking experiences. They move towards people that make them feel good and away from people that make them feel worthless and defective. This law must always be kept in mind if you want to influence people in a positive manner.

It will be idiotic to constantly say and do things that cause somebody pain and expect loyalty and dedication from such a person. How can you kick a person in the teeth and expect him or her to love and respect you? We might not always physically kick people, but some of the things we do, fail to do or say often cause more pain than a kick in the teeth.

 

Everything you do or refrain from doing is governed by your perception you have of such an event. If you, for example, find it difficult to motivate yourself to do something that you know needs to be done you will find “potential pain avoidance” at the root of your resistance. We usually select the potential pleasure route in all our actions and decisions. If we have any idea that we might be exposed to potentially pain we try our level best avoid such contacts.

Just think for a moment about this principle. When you see or think of certain people what reaction do they evoke in you? If a person activates any level of discomfort in you, you will always react and respond accordingly. An opinion is formed quickly and usually takes years to modify. Most people live their life according to this law or principal. Once they formed a perception about something or someone it takes a massive jolt to dislodge perceptions. Because we are pleasure-seeking entities we tend to run on tracks for the best part of our lives. We thus get stuck in a pattern and will continue to follow this path until the day we expire.

 

Leaders and champions are bold enough to break these patterns and confront their fears. They know that mediocre and substandard performances are caused by the avoidance of potential pain. You can never grow, learn and win while you remain in your comfort zone. It is only when you go beyond your comfort threshold that progress can be made.

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I WILL BECOME OUTCOME FOCUSED TODAY. I WILL DO THE THINGS I FEAR UNTIL IT LOSES ITS HOLD ON MY MIND!

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We often know what we need or want in life, but we hardly ever do something about it. The main reason for this is because we amplify the potential pain so much that it outweighs the potential pleasure that reaching our goal would provide us.

If you want to stop smoking or lose weight you have to make your perceived “outcome” so exciting and pleasure provoking that it will make the effort that will be needed to work through the potential pain part less dominant. You will never reach your desired objective while the fear of the pain outweighs the potential pleasure of the outcome. It is thus imperative that you desire your outcome more than the obstacle that you may encounter along the way. Only when you become excited and motivated about your outcome will you have enough staying power to hang in until the objective (pleasure) is achieved.

 

If you want to become influential, you will have to learn to use this law to your advantage. You will make it easy for people to be with you and do business with you. You will say and do things that will activate expectations of potential pleasure, not pain. All your actions and reactions must show people that you respect their point of view and that you are there to help them to achieve their own objectives. Always remember that most people you deal with are running on preconceived tracks or perceptions.

 

Rene

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Remember the “time out” rule/want to master the art/dispute/management.

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Mutual respect developed in relationships ensures sustainability and good quality choices. The key is to create a platform where parties can talk openly, without fear about observations, experiences and feelings. I sometimes find it almost humorous to hear from friends how their partner went crazy, hyperventilated and pulled out clumps of hair from his or her scalp after they share some bad news with him or her. A few dramatic performances by your partner after you share the less acceptable news with him/her usually convince you that this open and honest thing should be avoided at all cost. That is one of the main reasons why partners begin to hide stuff from each other. It might be a good idea to set down a few ground rules about this open and honest mode of operation before you agree to take it on board. You must build in an escape clause if your partner begins to show symptoms of a heart attack or start looking for a sharp knife in the kitchen. I am exaggerating but hope that you will accept that some ground rules must be put in place if one or both of the partners feel that honesty is the best policy. The best rule is to agree that you will bring in a “time out” period when any of the partners move away from a rational and objective communication style. You may find that one partner insists while he or she is foaming at the mouth that you conclude whatever you are busy talking about. My friend, take time out, even if you must dodge a few “flying saucers” on your way to your workshop. No problem, relationship or dispute has ever been solved amicably while one or both of the parties work in “crazy” mode. Showing respect and compassion is impossible while you jump up and down like a clown or make noises like a wounded buffalo. I thus suggest that you set some “playing” rules in this regard and avoid any engagement while upset or angry. Remember the “time out” rule if you want to master the art of dispute management.

 Rene

 

Nothing in life that is worthwhile comes to us because we have a nice smile/submissive attitude

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We allow life and people to dictate our lives. We almost always fall short of their selfish requirements. Nothing in life that is worthwhile comes to us because we have a nice smile or a submissive attitude. We need to walk tall and go for our goals and dreams in a positive and decisive manner. It is silly to think that we will be treated with respect if we allow them to sweep the floors with us. There is a time to be warm, kind and flexible, but then there are occasions that we must walk tall, become strong and do what needs to be done. It is silly to think that life is fair. Many of us think that we must never lose our cool notwithstanding the ongoing attempts of someone to knock us down psychologically. Stuff will happen daily – deal with them in a decisive manner. A person on the spiritual path is not a weakling. It takes courage, stamina and people skills to make your way through the matrix of life. Our objective is to become love. Not roleplay our way to success, but grow and learn from the many experiences on offer daily to practice our theoretical knowledge that we read in a book somewhere. I am not promoting aggressive behaviour, but urge you to master the art of assertive self-defence.

Rene

 

One of the main reasons for failure is a lack of persistence.

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This is one of the most powerful principles you can ever master. You can have all the skills in the world, but if you need this extremely important ingredient in any area of your life you will fail. A lack of staying power is deadly and often at the root of many of the problems we face. Please read this wisdom file for a week. Read it first thing in the morning and again just before you go to bed at night. Use the POWER WORDS daily and you will report a huge difference by the end of the week. You can have all the other skills in the world but will have to accept second best and mediocrity if you lack stamina and staying power until you one day master this key force that is waiting for you to push the go button.

STAMINA AND PERSISTENCE

Use the following method and power words when you feel that you are on the verge of giving up on something or someone. We have all been faced with situations where we came to the conclusion that we just cannot continue to sustain our effort. We know that it could be beneficial to hang in, but just seem to lack the physical and mental resolve to persist until we achieve a successful outcome.

One of the main reasons for failure is a lack of persistence. We live in a society where almost everything is “instant” and available on tap. This “instant” mentality robs many of us of lucrative advantages. Many of us are brilliant at starting activities, but poor at seeing them through.

The character of a person is displayed when he or she can grind something out until the desired outcome is achieved. We do not remember the fast starters in life. We recall those that finished the race. An iron will allow you to join a special group of people. They are the top two percent of the population of the planet. They are the leaders and trendsetters. They do not wait for things to happen, they make them happen. They love problems and challenges. Persistent people become legends while quitters become faded memories.

The foundation of quitters is made up of fear and doubt. They are the ones that can tell you endless stories of the “big one that got away.” They always blame something or someone for their poor track record.

Look around you at all the amazing innovations and technological marvels. You will discover that there are always individuals behind them that stuck to their dreams. A large percentage of students that start going to university never make the grade. A large percentage of relationships end up on the garbage heap because of poor persistence.

Many stores open their doors with massive hope and anticipation. The biggest percentage does not make it through their first two years. Would you like to go on an important trip if you knew that the engine of your vehicle tends to break down when least expected? You could end up in a desert with vultures circling overhead. It is a good thing that there are no vultures circling overhead when we fail or give up on some endeavour. I am obviously not including the lawyers that often feast on our failures.

Use the following method and power words the next time that you feel that you are ready to quit. Focus on the project or situation that is causing you to contemplate resignation and repeat the power word “rock”. You will soon feel that new energy is flowing into your system. You will change from the marshmallow man to the man of steel. You will mentally see how your “rock” grinds up the things that stand between you and ultimate success. Nothing can stop a person with a “rock” hard persistency. The “rock” people never consider quitting as one of the options available to them. They know that most people quit when the victory post is just around the next corner. They hammer opposing forces to a pulp.

Use this power word whenever you are faced with a situation where you feel that you are close to quitting. The moment that they begin to mentally or verbally repeat the power word “rock” they feel as if high-octane power fuel is rushing into their depleted fuel tanks. The key is to sustain a positive attitude and to repeat the power word “rock” as explained.

This tool can change your life. It can assist you in all areas of your life. Ad some “rock” to your foundation when it starts crumbling. Repeat the power word “rock” and begin to act and react like a person that knows where he is going. This power word can be used in all areas of your life. It can and will change your life and make you proud of that person that is looking back at you when you look in the mirror. The “rock” people do the stuff that the losers are either too afraid or too fragile to do.

Repeat this power word when you feel that you are running out of steam. Rock. Rock. Rock.

Possible other power words you can use: No guts no glory. No guts no glory. Crushproof. Crushproof. Lighthouse. Lighthouse.

Rene

 

Get INSIDE the head of the very person you want to persuade.

Here’s a million-dollar secret I’ve never shared with anyone before. When you use it, you will get inside your prospects’ heads and manipulate their thinking to get them to do what you want—including sending you money right now for your product or service. Sound hard to believe? Keep reading and I’ll prove my point to you.

 

 

Right now, as you read these words, you are practising the very thing I’m going to describe. Centuries ago people read books by moving their lips. Over time—and probably due to complaints from the family—people learned to close their mouths. But virtually all people still read the letters you send them by saying the words in their head, almost as if they were speaking them out loud, but in reality, speaking only to themselves. You’re probably doing it right now.

 

You are, aren’t you? It doesn’t reflect anything about your intelligence. It’s how most of us read. I read more than most people and I still read the same way you do, “mouthing” the words in my head. It’s how most of us humans accept the written word. Relax. You’re normal.

 

Why is this important?

 

Because this is a way for you to plant hypnotic commands right into the skulls of people.

 

This is staggering power. When people read your sales letter, you are, in essence, right INSIDE the head of the very person you want to persuade. They are speaking your words—your commands, if you do this right—to themselves. You are in their “command centre.”

 

Think of the power you have!

 

Unless you’ve taken a speed reading course—which teaches you to scan pages and avoid seeing single words—you are like everyone else: Hearing what I want you to hear right now, in your own mind. In reality, I’m in your head! What am I going to make you do?! Buy my books? Hire me to write copy for you? Make you go out with me and do my bidding?

 

Hmmmmmm.

 

You can imagine the kind of power this gives me and can give you once you learn how to do it, too. And that’s what I am going to give you a quick-start lesson in:

How to control your prospect’s mind.

 

First: You need to accept that people are reading your sales letters (or ads, memos, email, web copy, etc.) by pronouncing your words in their heads. This means you are in the “forbidden zone” and ready to re-wire their brains.

 

Second: Keep in mind that as people read, they think. You are doing it right now and you have been doing it throughout this article. You are talking to yourself as you read. You are thinking.

 

People read your words and also ask questions as if you were there to answer them. Your job as a Hypnotic Writer is to anticipate those questions and answer them. Do so and people will follow your commands.

 

Are you with me? As I mentioned earlier, I’ve never discussed this concept before because I felt it was too damn powerful to release. But when Mark Joyner asked me to expand on the material in my best-selling “Hypnotic Writing” series of books, I figured I owed the man my ace in the hole.

 

Here it is!

 

And here’s how it works:

 

You write your sales letter with all the hypnotic writing skills you learned from my books. You use every trick you’ve learned to grab and hold attention, build desire, and lead to a strong close because you know that’s how you create truly hypnotic writing.

 

And AS you write, you are also asking yourself, “What is my reader thinking right now?” This is much like trying to handle objections in a traditional sales call. The difference is, you are doing this in writing. Your customer isn’t standing in front of you. He or she may be thousands of miles away.

 

But that person is reading your words—voicing those words of yours in their head—and that person is asking him or herself questions. Anticipate them and answer them and you will up the odds of creating a sales letter that easily persuades.

 

Let me explain this another way: Hypnotists know that you will obey their commands as long as you don’t already have a counter-suggestion in you to the contrary. They can tell you to “Go open the window,” and you will do just that UNLESS you have a counter-thought, such as, “But it’s cold outside” or “I don’t have a good reason to open the window.”

 

This same dynamic goes on inside your readers. You can tell them to “Send me money now for my new gizmo,” and they will do exactly that UNLESS they have counter-thoughts (read objections) in them. As you probably know, most of your readers will have counter-thoughts. Your job is to anticipate them and answer them and THEN give your command.

I use this little known hypnotic skill in all my sales letters.

 

I work hard to create a headline that relays a benefit in a curious way. I swear to write an opening that yanks attention from wherever it was, to my words. And then I use this “hypnotic dialogue process” to write the letter.

 

In other words, I write my letter while pretending to talk to one person about my product or service. In a real way, I’m talking to myself. As I “talk” on the page, I imagine what my prospect will ask next. It’s a dialogue in my mind. But the truth is, that same dialogue will end up in my prospect’s mind if I do this right. You’ve been doing it throughout this article. You’ve been reading my words and asking yourself questions. Right?

 

Throughout the writing of this article, I kept asking myself, “What will he ask?” By anticipating your questions, I could handle them in a persuasive way. I could, in short, lead you to my way of thinking and to doing what I want.

 

For example, right after my opening paragraph, I wrote, “Sound hard to believe?” I placed the question there because that’s probably exactly where you ASKED the question in your own mind. You read my opening lines—about my big promise to show you how to get people to send you money—and inside yourself, you said something like, “That’s pretty hard to believe. Prove it.”

 

And right there, right on cue, comes my question. I anticipated your thoughts and answered them by using the dialogue process. And what did I install in your mind while you were reading?

 

Go back through this article and see if you can find this “dialogue process” at work. And then notice what you do next because that action will reflect the command I secretly embedded in you. And now that your objections are handled, you have little choice but to act on it, or not.

 

By Joe Vitale / Source: The Code of Influence

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