DO YOU OFTEN FEEL THAT YOU WANT TO SHOUT OUT, “SAME DAY, SAME OLD STUFF”? WE ARE THE CREATORS OF OUR OWN WORLD AND DO ACTUALLY HAVE CONTROL OF MOST OF THE THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN IT.
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ARE YOU SICK OF THE SAME OLD STUFF? Most people live as if there is some kind of invisible force that captured their will and ability to remain active and productive. They act as if they are helpless victims of life and circumstances. Just look around you and see if you can detect one single person that made a really dramatic and sustained modification (turnaround) to his or her unsatisfactory lifestyle.
People often bitch and moan about their work, relationships, spouses and unruly children and act as if they are the victims of some sinister plot. When you go to social occasions you often discover that most people spend hours trying to top each other’s “victim” stories while they stare at each other through the bottoms of their cocktail glasses. When you finally drive home after these “socials” you often feel drained and incomplete.
Your “social” with your friends might have made you feel slightly better initially because you received confirmation that you are not the only one that are a victim in this cesspool called life. You are exposed to “bad news” messages wherever you go. Whenever you feel enthusiastic and upbeat, buy a newspaper. Before you read two pages you will be back to your normal subdued self.
We might feel that we are living under very testing conditions today and that our situation is unique, but when you investigate the “victim” phenomena worldwide you will find that most people suffer with this form of mental bondage.
We use crime and instability as our crutch to justify our victim behaviour in South Africa. You will discover that an endless range of excuses are used to justify “victim” behaviour globally even when crime is not so visible as in South Africa. The bottom line is that “victim” behaviour is something that comes from the inside, from your own mind.
We tend to “think” ourselves to a standstill and into an early grave. The “look at me, I am a victim” turmoil in the world has reached pandemic proportions. The collective negative mood on planet earth is negative and very destructive. The main reason why people experience these very immobilizing emotions is because of the overall habit of living in the PAST or the FUTURE. We can think up the most amazing disasters in the theatre of our minds. We can die a thousand deaths in our mind with our habit of projecting ourselves into imagined future disasters.
WHEN YOU LIVE IN THE FUTURE YOU GIVE UP YOUR RIGHT TO ACT IN THE NOW!
We form opinions at a very young age about most things in life. We have “feelings” about almost anything that we can ever be faced with. Any conclusion that we came to during our lifetime will usually remain part of our coping style until the day we die.
Most people fail to understand that “everything will remain the same until a change is made”. If you are allowing fear of something that might never happen to control your thinking you are disqualifying yourself from the reality of the now.
Just think of the key areas in your life such as your work, relationships and general lifestyle and take stock of your “general” behaviour in these areas. You need to study your habitual reaction pattern in any area if it is not working as you hoped it would. Stop waiting for others to modify their behaviour, beg you for forgiveness or that the problem will go away.
Become bold and active and start doing something about whatever you feel is bothering you. Nothing will change until you activate such change. Remember if you are in waiting mode and your dispute is with someone else you are handing control to this person. When you live in the NOW and you act in the present tense you make your life predictable and much more stress free. When you live in the FUTURE and fail to take action in the NOW you are “manufacturing” your own house of pain.
The only way that you can escape this stuck in the future or past zone is to begin to live in the NOW. Give yourself a fair chance to make a success of any given day. You can do this by talking to yourself.
Tell yourself that you are not interested in things that might never happen or that happened in the past. You are talking to yourself all day long, make these “chats” constructive and motivational. Give yourself a break and stop running yourself down. When you find your mind drifting into the “horror” mode tell yourself that you are not going to waste energy on events that may never happen. If you mind drifts into the “feel sorry for me mode”, take control and say, “I create my own circumstances and will not create a torture chamber for myself today.” Wipe the slate clean every morning and attack each day with enthusiasm and commitment. Live for the moment my friend. Today and each and every day is indeed a new day with wonderful opportunities if you are focused on the now.
The ROOT CAUSE of most of our PROBLEMS and FRUSTRATIONS can be traced to an INADEQUATE SELF-IMAGE and SELF-ESTEEM. Our feelings of inadequacy stem from FEELINGS and IMAGES that we stored in our heads when we were five, six or seven years old. We formed perceptions about ourselves at this young age. These feelings and images have been around since then. These FEELINGS, EMOTIONS and IMAGES still govern everything you do, say or the way you interpret what other say or do. They say that the average person use less than 5% of his/her potential. It stands to reason that it is very difficult to confront PROBLEMS or PERFORM above average when your using the SELF-IMAGE and SELF-ESTEEM of a child of six to drive your GOALS and DREAMS or attempt to SOLVE PROBLEMS. Can you think what disorder you would create if you assigned fairly mundane project to a six year old? We learned and gain in experience and cope to some extent with our day-today activities, but run into problems when these day-to-day activities trigger our feelings and emotions. Most of us AUTOMATICALLY slip into our reaction patterns and our SELF-ESTEEMS start dominating all our actions and reaction. We react with ANGER, EMOTIONAL OUTBURSTS. We apportion BLAME, become JEALOUS or SULK when things don’t go our way. You may feel that it is impossible, but ponder what I shared above and you will soon agree that many of the INADEQUACIES programmed into our heads are still ACTIVE and CONTROL many of our thoughts, feelings, decisions and responses.
Very few people grasp that they are a POWERFUL MAGNET that day and night ATTRACT events, people, pain, pleasure, love, problems or solution into their SPACE. How you FEEL at any given moment indicates and reveals the QUALITY of the stuff that you are currently ATTRACTING. Your FEELINGS are your barometer that displays the quality of your current THOUGHTS, ACTION and REACTIONS. Things, people and event do not simply APPEAR or DISAPPEAR in or out of your LIFE. The CHOICES you made YESTERDAY grew into what you are FACED with TODAY. The LAW or CAUSE AND EFFECT is a natural law that regulate the quality of your LIFE.
The most powerful tool you own is your ability to measure if your current ACTION will take you TOWARDS your GOAL or AWAY from what you DESIRE. You measure your progress and the quality of your CHOICES by the FEELINGS that you experience. People, events, blogs, movies, newspaper articles and people in general will either make you FEEL empowered or dis-empowered, strong or weak, inspired or deflated during or after you engaged them. Your FEELINGS guide you faithfully during all your endeavours. FEELINGS of ANGER, FEAR, ANXIETY and DEPRESSION shout out to you that you need to move away from a POTENTIAL TROUBLE SOURCE. When you read a book, blog or magazine you become UPLIFTED and MOTIVATED or you become aware that the material is sucking some of your valuable energy out of your body and soul. My friend many of the things we do and the interactions we have either HEAL us or make us SICK. We are either swimming UPSTREAM or DOWNSTREAM while we participate in this game of life. We must take time to STOP periodically so we can evaluate the STATUS of our current activity. Our best friend can be our worst enemy if such friend often feed us with toxic interactions that make us WEAK and WORRIED. The most dangerous people, situations and perceived opportunities are often “packaged” in fancy false disguise. Groups are often toxic. They might have a facades of saintliness and salvation that hide their hidden agendas and concealed motives. Repeat the following as often as you can today. I will today allow my FEELINGS and INTUITION to guide me while at work or play. I will not accommodate people, things and events that make me feel deflated, depressed or weak. My FEELINGS guide me today toward SUCCESS and away from potential FAILURE and LOSS. Look around you today and become aware how many things and people attempt to suck the LIFE ENERGY from you! Become aware how society is set up to US and ABUSE you. perceptions (beliefs) might need updating.
The force of RESISTANCE is very cunning and will use any means possible to stop you from doing what needs to be done. The endless stream of voices and feelings that activate when you are confronted with a task that might be risky or beyond your comfort zone is mind blowing. The voices will come at you from all angles. It will fabricate any story, myth or examples that it can dig from the archives in your mind to stop you from taking action. It exaggerate, belittle, seduce and attempt to bully you into submission. It will cry, scoff and take on any form in an attempt to deceive you and discourage you. You might recall how bewildered you became when you were faced historically with a decision that could send your life in a new direction. This force that is a master at building RESISTANCE will stop at nothing to convince you to stick to the well worn path that you are currently travelling on. This force will one moment talk to you as if you are a helpless child and the very next moment attempt to flood your mind with guilt and fear. Look around you and you might notice that everyone that made a success of anything did not fall for the dirty tricks used by this force. This force will create the impression that the threats are out there waiting for you if you dare to think or act outside the box. You have been lied to since early childhood. The source of your pain and discomfort is generated from within. It was the stories and bullshit myths that brought on the RESISTANCE and RELUCTANCE that you experienced every time you attempted to venture out of your comfort zone. The world you created for yourself and the relationships that you formed was heavily influenced by this invisible, but powerful force. You are not only up against your own history, but also against all the stories and myths that your parents and teachers shared with you in your formative years. It might not surprise you when I tell you that those that domesticated you faithfully implanted all their own fears and anxieties that they have been fighting against into your mind. They possibly gave their own RESISTANCE force a massive run for its money, but lost. They were defeated. I cannot come to any other conclusion. They finally succumbed to their own force of RESISTANCE or they would not have downloaded so much shit into your subconscious computer. There is nothing you fear today that cannot be traced back to nonsense downloaded into your fragile and vulnerable mind by a wide range of well intentioned programmers.
I would suggest that you today become acutely aware of the RESISTANCE that you experience periodically. Make a note when you feel the RESISTANCE welling up in you. Make a note who you spoke to or what did a person say or do that activated RESISTANCE in you. You might be so used to giving in or up that the RESISTANCE might be feeble and difficult to detect. I can guarantee you that the force of RESISTANCE will come at you in waves as described earlier in this post the moment you stop displaying your usual submissive demeanour. I will continue this series tomorrow.
We are AUTOMATICALLY ANCHORING images, feelings and emotions to everything that we EXPERIENCE in all our day-to-day activities. Our subconscious minds also develop a KEY TRIGGER that will call back to LIFE all the IMAGES and EMOTIONS stored in our sub-conscious minds. Any CURRENT EVENT or THOUGHT can TRIGGER a HISTORICAL range of emotions that lay DORMANT for years in our sub-conscious minds. We are constantly ASSOCIATING CURRENT events with HISTORICAL data stored in our sub-conscious minds. The problem that most of us have is that we think that we have no CONTROL over these THOUGHT PACKAGES that are endlessly TRIGGERED by new events that we are faced with daily. We become VICTIMS that are AMBUSHED by a never ending stream of HISTORICAL images, feelings and emotions that COLOUR every moment of our day. Most of us find it impossible to look at and experience our CURRENT MOMENTS without the interference of these HISTORICAL thought bundles. It is impossible to remain OBJECTIVE and refrain from JUDGING while we treat CURRENT people and events through a haze of HISTORICAL FEELINGS and EMOTIONS.
The ROOT CAUSE of most of our PROBLEMS and FRUSTRATIONS can be traced to an INADEQUATE SELF-IMAGE and SELF-ESTEEM. Our feelings of inadequacy stem from FEELINGS and IMAGES that we stored in our heads when we were five, six or seven years old. We formed perceptions about ourselves at this young age. These feelings and images have been around since then. These FEELINGS, EMOTIONS and IMAGES still govern everything you do, say or the way you interpret what other say or do. They say that the average person use less than 5% of his/her potential. It stands to reason that it is very difficult to confront PROBLEMS or PERFORM above average when your using the SELF-IMAGE and SELF-ESTEEM of a child of six to drive your GOALS and DREAMS or attempt to SOLVE PROBLEMS. Can you think what disorder you would create if you assigned fairly mundane project to a six year old? We learned and gain in experience and cope to some extent with our day-today activities, but run into problems when these day-to-day activities trigger our feelings and emotions. Most of us AUTOMATICALLY slip into our reaction patterns and our SELF-ESTEEMS start dominating all our actions and reaction. We react with ANGER, EMOTIONAL OUTBURSTS. We apportion BLAME, become JEALOUS or SULK when things don’t go our way. You may feel that it is impossible, but ponder what I shared above and you will soon agree that many of the INADEQUACIES programmed into our heads are still ACTIVE and CONTROL many of our thoughts, feelings, decisions and responses.
Most of us FAIL once and then give up. We allow the FEELINGS of DISCOMFORT and DISAPPOINTMENT to paralyze us and STOP us from trying. It is only those that view FAILURES as potential LEARNING experiences that GROW and OVERCOME. Can you see how we allow our historical FEELINGS and FEAR to arrest our potential? Champions compose and reposition themselves until the job is done.
When I started with Rene’s Reading Room I had a vision that I could provide a haven to readers where they can come, sit back and relax while they read and view subject matter that would hopefully uplift, motivate and expand their vision. I diligently expanded on the post data base and in a relative short period of time accumulated over 10 000 posts. I diligently posted articles, clips and even a few book series written by bestselling authors. I often wrote fresh articles or extracted material from my huge data base that I established after many years of writing and lecturing on a wide range of subjects. I invested the time and energy posting this material because I firmly believed that everyone on this planet have the right to be happy, successful and well informed. I challenged the readers to open their minds and look at life, death, religion, work and play from many different perspectives. I gave hundreds if not thousands of lectures during my lifetime and wrote several books and scripts for my audio lectures over the years. I have in the past and will continue to post articles in the Reading Room that will hopefully uplift and challenge visitors to break free from the fixed perspectives that might have been preventing them from being the best they can be at any given moment.
I firmly believe that we are all ONE. We, notwithstanding our differences are all travellers on spaceship earth. We and those that came before us created the collective consciousness that we experience daily. You are a mirror of the collective perceptions that you gathered since your early childhood. Some of us grew up in a Roman Catholic or protestant environment while others in turn grew up in a Muslim home. We call the creator of all universes by different names and perceive this force from many different perspectives. Our insistence that our God is the only true God shattered mankind into tiny vulnerable pieces. We erected walls around our perceptions of God and our understanding of life and death. We were conditioned to perceive life from a “them” and “us” basis. This mindset gradually isolated us into comfort zones with high walls that kept our beliefs in and repelled all other perceptions that fail to match our perceived values. This is how we created our concept of “good” and “evil”. We believed that our God and beliefs are the only truth. Our spiritual leaders ruled the territory behind our high walls and fortified castles with an iron fist. They convinced us that our God is the only God that any other spiritual perception is the work of a fictitious devil. We in our arrogance failed to even attempt to understand or investigate other ideas and perceptions. We were conditioned via guilt, shame and fear from early childhood to reject any data offered by anyone outside our self-proclaimed “perfect” nest.
I will continue to provide many different perceptions on this blog. I am doing this because I concluded after a lifetime of study that we are ONE notwithstanding our walls, boundaries and little the boxes that we hide in. There is only the ONE life force that we live and expire in. We are all on the same path and everyone is following this path to the best of his own ability. We gave this life force many names. Everyone, notwithstanding his current state of consciousness is united with this force. It is an illusion to think that there are a “them” and “us” my friends. This planet is in serious trouble and bleeding profusely from the wounds that we dealt mother earth in our greed for more. We are so divided in our own demarcated zones that we fail to see what we are collectively doing to this place that sustained mankind since inception. We managed to deplete a huge percentage of the vital resources that sustain life on this plane. The time has come for everyone to urgently unite for the collective good of mankind. We need to take urgent action to save us from extension. Mother earth will survive and recover from her wounds, but will we, all seven billion of us still be on spaceship earth as she continues to majestically hurl herself forward on her journey through space?
How many of us do not reach a point in our lives where we feel “STUCK”. We feel like the sterile soil in a desert that yearn for the welcome rain that will once again unlock the millions of seeds lying dormant in the soul of our sand. We find it difficult to recall the last time the fertile rain triggered the untold beauty and prosperity now hibernating under the boiling soil that is mercilessly attacked by the rays of the sun. We know we have so much to give in our relationships and work, but cannot break the bondage that sustains our inability to act. These hibernation periods in our lives force feelings of inferiority and failure to cloud our minds and judgement. These “DOWN” periods in our lives can be viewed as a disaster or it can be seen as a period where we REST, REFLECT and REPLENISH our resolve. You will discover when you look back on your “life story” that your most promising GROWTH periods in your life always followed the darkest “DOWN” periods that you faced. My dear friend the key is to take sustained action towards your dreams and goals. You can bring back the rain in your life when you rekindle the passion in your heart and mind. Repeat the following as often as you can today. I will attack each day with a positive attitude. I will not let setbacks and barriers force me back into hibernation. I know that each time I fade under pressure I stifle the potential of the millions of seeds of joy and creativity in my heart that relying on my persistence. See the following image in your head while you repeat these words of wisdom.
Mutual respect developed in relationships ensures sustainability and good quality choices. The key is to create a platform where parties can talk openly, without fear about observations, experiences and feelings. I sometimes find it almost humorous to hear from friends how their partner went crazy, hyperventilated and pulled out clumps of hair from his or her scalp after they share some bad news with him or her. A few dramatic performances by your partner after you share less acceptable news with him or her usually convince you that this open and honest thing should be avoided at all cost. That is one of the main reasons why partners begin to hide stuff from each other. It might be a good idea to set down a few ground rules about this open and honest mode of operation before you agree to take it on board. You must build in an escape clause if your partner begins to show symptoms of a heart attack or start looking for a sharp knife in the kitchen. I am exaggerating, but hope that you will accept that some ground rules must be put in place if one or both of the partners feel that honesty is the best policy. The best rule is to agree that you will bring in a “time out” period when any of the partners move away from a rational and objective communication style. You may find that one partner insist while he or she is foaming at the mouth that you conclude whatever you are busy talking about. My friend, take time out, even if you must dodge a few “flying saucers” on your way to your workshop. No problem, relationship or dispute has ever been solved amicably while one or both of the parties work in “crazy” mode. Showing respect and compassion is impossible while you jump up and down like a clown or make noises like a wounded buffalo. I thus suggest that you set some “playing” rules in this regard and avoid any engagement while upset or angry. Remember the “time out” rule if you want to master the art of dispute management.
DO YOU OFTEN FEEL THAT YOU WANT TO SHOUT OUT, “SAME DAY, SAME OLD STUFF”? WE ARE THE CREATORS OF OUR OWN WORLD AND DO ACTUALLY HAVE CONTROL OF MOST OF THE THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN IT.
ARE YOU SICK OF THE SAME OLD STUFF? Most people live as if there is some kind of invisible force that captured their will and ability to remain active and productive. They act as if they are helpless victims of life and circumstances. Just look around you and see if you can detect one single person that made a really dramatic and sustained modification (turnaround) to his or her unsatisfactory lifestyle.
People often bitch and moan about their work, relationships, spouses and unruly children and act as if they are the victims of some sinister plot. When you go to social occasions you often discover that most people spend hours trying to top each other’s “victim” stories while they stare at each other through the bottoms of their cocktail glasses. When you finally drive home after these “socials” you often feel drained and incomplete.
Your “social” with your friends might have made you feel slightly better initially because you received confirmation that you are not the only one that are a victim in this cesspool called life. You are exposed to “bad news” messages wherever you go. Whenever you feel enthusiastic and upbeat, buy a newspaper. Before you read two pages you will be back to your normal subdued self.
We might feel that we are living under very testing conditions today and that our situation is unique, but when you investigate the “victim” phenomena worldwide you will find that most people suffer with this form of mental bondage.
We use crime and instability as our crutch to justify our victim behaviour in South Africa. You will discover that an endless range of excuses are used to justify “victim” behaviour globally even when crime is not so visible as in South Africa. The bottom line is that “victim” behaviour is something that comes from the inside, from your own mind.
We tend to “think” ourselves to a standstill and into an early grave. The “look at me, I am a victim” turmoil in the world has reached pandemic proportions. The collective negative mood on planet earth is negative and very destructive. The main reason why people experience these very immobilizing emotions is because of the overall habit of living in the PAST or the FUTURE. We can think up the most amazing disasters in the theatre of our minds. We can die a thousand deaths in our mind with our habit of projecting ourselves into imagined future disasters.
WHEN YOU LIVE IN THE FUTURE YOU GIVE UP YOUR RIGHT TO ACT IN THE NOW!
We form opinions at a very young age about most things in life. We have “feelings” about almost anything that we can ever be faced with. Any conclusion that we came to during our lifetime will usually remain part of our coping style until the day we die.
Most people fail to understand that “everything will remain the same until a change is made”. If you are allowing fear of something that might never happen to control your thinking you are disqualifying yourself from the reality of the now.
Just think of the key areas in your life such as your work, relationships and general lifestyle and take stock of your “general” behaviour in these areas. You need to study your habitual reaction pattern in any area if it is not working as you hoped it would. Stop waiting for others to modify their behaviour, beg you for forgiveness or that the problem will go away.
Become bold and active and start doing something about whatever you feel is bothering you. Nothing will change until you activate such change. Remember if you are in waiting mode and your dispute is with someone else you are handing control to this person. When you live in the NOW and you act in the present tense you make your life predictable and much more stress free. When you live in the FUTURE and fail to take action in the NOW you are “manufacturing” your own house of pain.
The only way that you can escape this stuck in the future or past zone is to begin to live in the NOW. Give yourself a fair chance to make a success of any given day. You can do this by talking to yourself.
Tell yourself that you are not interested in things that might never happen or that happened in the past. You are talking to yourself all day long, make these “chats” constructive and motivational. Give yourself a break and stop running yourself down. When you find your mind drifting into the “horror” mode tell yourself that you are not going to waste energy on events that may never happen. If you mind drifts into the “feel sorry for me mode”, take control and say, “I create my own circumstances and will not create a torture chamber for myself today.” Wipe the slate clean every morning and attack each day with enthusiasm and commitment. Live for the moment my friend. Today and each and every day is indeed a new day with wonderful opportunities if you are focused on the now.
The force of RESISTANCE is very cunning and will use any means possible to stop you from doing what needs to be done. The endless stream of voices and feelings that activate when you are confronted with a task that might be risky or beyond your comfort zone is mind blowing. The voices will come at you from all angles. It will fabricate any story, myth or examples that it can dig from the archives in your mind to stop you from taking action. It exaggerate, belittle, seduce and attempt to bully you into submission. It will cry, scoff and take on any form in an attempt to deceive you and discourage you. You might recall how bewildered you became when you were faced historically with a decision that could send your life in a new direction. This force that is a master at building RESISTANCE will stop at nothing to convince you to stick to the well worn path that you are currently travelling on. This force will one moment talk to you as if you are a helpless child and the very next moment attempt to flood your mind with guilt and fear. Look around you and you might notice that everyone that made a success of anything did not fall for the dirty tricks used by this force. This force will create the impression that the threats are out there waiting for you if you dare to think or act outside the box. You have been lied to since early childhood. The source of your pain and discomfort is generated from within. It was the stories and bullshit myths that brought on the RESISTANCE and RELUCTANCE that you experienced every time you attempted to venture out of your comfort zone. The world you created for yourself and the relationships that you formed was heavily influenced by this invisible, but powerful force. You are not only up against your own history, but also against all the stories and myths that your parents and teachers shared with you in your formative years. It might not surprise you when I tell you that those that domesticated you faithfully implanted all their own fears and anxieties that they have been fighting against into your mind. They possibly gave their own RESISTANCE force a massive run for its money, but lost. They were defeated. I cannot come to any other conclusion. They finally succumbed to their own force of RESISTANCE or they would not have downloaded so much shit into your subconscious computer. There is nothing you fear today that cannot be traced back to nonsense downloaded into your fragile and vulnerable mind by a wide range of well intentioned programmers.
I would suggest that you today become acutely aware of the RESISTANCE that you experience periodically. Make a note when you feel the RESISTANCE welling up in you. Make a note who you spoke to or what did a person say or do that activated RESISTANCE in you. You might be so used to giving in or up that the RESISTANCE might be feeble and difficult to detect. I can guarantee you that the force of RESISTANCE will come at you in waves as described earlier in this post the moment you stop displaying your usual submissive demeanour. I will continue this series tomorrow.
How connected do you feel to your future self? It might seem like a strange question, but the answer determines how likely you are to blow your money today or save it for later.
A new report from the Columbia Business School and University of Chicago Booth School of Business reveals that consumers make money choices based on how connected they feel to their future identities—and that it’s relatively easy to manipulate those feelings.
Remember the famous marshmallow experiment, where Stanford researchers offered children one marshmallow now, or two marshmallows later? The children that opted for two treats later were more likely to be successful in life, suggesting that the ability to defer gratification is a valuable trait to have.
This new report, published in the June 2011 edition of the Journal of Consumer Research, expands those findings to explain what causes some people to defer gratification and others to gobble up their marshmallows—or spend their money—as soon as possible.
The two researchers, professors Daniel Bartels of Columbia and Oleg Urminsky of Booth, asked graduating seniors at a Midwest university to read one of two statements: The first emphasized how big of a deal it was to graduate and how much they would change afterward. The second one did just the reverse, emphasizing that one’s core identity changes very little throughout the course of one’s life. Then participants were told they could receive a gift card right away, or a bigger gift card later.
The results were clear: Students who read the statement emphasizing continuity in one’s identity were more likely to elect to receive the larger gift card (worth up to $240) later; those who read the statement focused on change were more likely to opt for the lower-valued gift card (worth $120) immediately.
In other words, people seem to be very easily manipulated into feeling either more or less connected with their future identities, which in turn influences whether they delay gratification or not.
It’s easy to imagine that flexibility being used for nefarious purposes: Companies could get you to spend more if advertisements convinced you to first feel less connected to your future self, for example. But these findings also have extremely useful implications for anyone who wants to save more for a rainy day (or retirement), stop spending so much, or just practice more self-discipline.
To convince yourself to delay gratification to achieve any of those goals, the researchers have a relatively simple solution: Take a moment or two to meditate on your future self, and just how similar it is to your current self.
As the researchers put it, “Simply…maintaining a sense of connectedness to the future self may help resolve these dilemmas, yielding more farsighted choices. Rather than employing guilt or complex incentive schemes pitting the interests of future and current selves against each other, simply fostering the sense that what matters most in defining us persists over time may represent a powerful means to help us persist in achieving important goals.”
That kind of future-focused thinking might be especially important during major life events, such as college graduation, marriage, and divorce, when people are particularly vulnerable to feeling disconnected to their future selves.
Some consumers, however, have the opposite problem. They are so good as saving for a rainy day that they forget to enjoy the current one. Ran Kivetz, a business professor at Columbia University, has identified the concept of “self-control regrets,” which describes what people feel if they deny themselves some indulgence that they later wish they had sampled. “People feel guilty about luxuries and it’s hard to justify them, so they under-consume them,” he explains.
Over time, Kivetz says, guilt over indulgences tends to dissipate, while feelings of “missing out” on a pleasurable experience or purchase remain. That explains why, five years after deciding against taking a wine-soaked cruise to Italy, for example, one might wish he had gone.
So what is the “right” amount of indulgence? How do we know if we are truly being smart by avoiding a purchase, versus inflicting unnecessary guilt upon ourselves? Kivetz says there’s no easy answer, and that not surprisingly, it depends entirely on the individual. In other words, each person has to decide for himself.
Kivetz recommends making decisions with the long term in mind. Ask yourself, “How will I feel about this many years down the road? Will I wish I had made the purchase?”
In other words, the solution is the same whether you are prone to over-spending or under-spending: Take a moment to think about your future self. One day, you’ll thank yourself for it.
That kind of future-focused thinking might be especially important during major life events, such as college graduation, marriage, and divorce, when people are particularly vulnerable to feeling disconnected to their future selves.
We are AUTOMATICALLY ANCHORING images, feelings and emotions to everything that we EXPERIENCE in all our day-to-day activities. Our subconscious minds also develop a KEY TRIGGER that will call back to LIFE all the IMAGES and EMOTIONS stored in our sub-conscious minds. Any CURRENT EVENT or THOUGHT can TRIGGER a HISTORICAL range of emotions that lay DORMANT for years in our sub-conscious minds. We are constantly ASSOCIATING CURRENT events with HISTORICAL data stored in our sub-conscious minds. The problem that most of us have is that we think that we have no CONTROL over these THOUGHT PACKAGES that are endlessly TRIGGERED by new events that we are faced with daily. We become VICTIMS that are AMBUSHED by a never ending stream of HISTORICAL images, feelings and emotions that COLOUR every moment of our day. Most of us find it impossible to look at and experience our CURRENT MOMENTS without the interference of these HISTORICAL thought bundles. It is impossible to remain OBJECTIVE and refrain from JUDGING while we treat CURRENT people and events through the haze of HISTORICAL FEELINGS and EMOTIONS.
Decide once and for all that your mood, your sense of balance and well-being are your responsibility.
Decide that you are precious to yourself and that you are in charge of treating yourself well.
BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND.
Decide that you love and honor yourself and repeat this as often as you need during the day.
Decide that every day your first and foremost concern is to help yourself feel a little better, no matter how you have woken up that morning or how you may feel at certain moments during the day.
When you are in a good mood, make a list of the things that please you and make you feel good; refer to your list when you feel down and do one or more of those things.
When you are in a good mood, make a list of people, activities, places, images, experiences, memories that ordinarily make you feel good, refer to your list when you feel down and focus for a few minutes on those uplifting thoughts.
Even if you are at home alone, treat yourself with respect. Do not lounge around in your pajamas, unkempt, unshaven, etc. Act as if you are expecting someone and be presentable. It will help greatly when you happen to look at yourself in the mirror.
Take care of your environment. Make it as tidy and comfortable as you can. Throw away old newspapers, magazines, junk mail, put your clothes away in your closet, make your bed, make your home an inviting place for you.
If you live alone, having something alive like a plant or a pet really does help you feel that you have some company, and something to go home to. Buy some plants and decorate your home, and consider getting a pet. Even a goldfish is good enough.
Call a friend, or write to a friend. Invite a friend to your home, or to do something together. Have something specific in mind, like going to a movie, or out to dinner, or for drinks. REACH OUT.
If no friend is available and you are feeling bored and frustrated, take yourself out to a movie, or to dinner, or for a drink. A lot of people feel self-conscious about going out alone. Remember that you are in charge of your feelings and feel proud instead that you are doing something good for yourself. DARE!
Go out for a walk, or a drive. Go on, don’t be lazy, don’t put it off, get out of the house and you will certainly be rewarded by the improvement in your mood.
GET IN TOUCH WITH NATURE. As often as you can, visit parks, places with greenery, take short holidays or daytrips and get in touch with nature. Enjoy the sounds, the smells, the sights, awaken your senses.
Attend a lecture.
Go to an art gallery.
Go to the theater and watch a great performance.
Play your favorite music, and make sure it’s your favorite uplifting music.
Take a long, luxurious bubble-bath.
Buy yourself a present, yes, go on, splurge, buy something you have been wanting for a long time.
Read an inspiring book, read some poetry, or go out and buy some new books.
Cook a gourmet dinner for yourself. Invite someone to share it.
Exercise. Doing even some simple exercises at home, by focusing on and energizing your body, you will immediately feel the improvement in your mood.Use your body, awaken your body, enliven your body and your mood will lift. Do some gardening, or some serious housecleaning!
Meditate. You don’t have to use any complicated procedures. Just decide to take a break from the negative self-talk going on in your mind. Sit quietly, focus on your breath, tell yourself to relax, and when you do feel completely relaxed lose yourself in a beautiful, relaxing scene like a serene pool, a lush forest, a beautiful beach and stay there as long as you like.
Distract yourself from the condition, topic, person, situation, event that has brought you down. Your first priority is always your balance, your peace of mind.
Avoid dwelling on past hurts and grievances, avoid painting a grim and gloomy picture of the totality of your life. Focus on the present, focus on yourself now, focus only on improving your mood now.
Find things to be thankful for, things to appreciate in yourself, your environment, your job, your friends, your family, your neighborhood, your city.
End each day by remembering to think good, loving thoughts for yourself. Make sure you fall asleep in a sweet mood. This will ensure that you will have pleasant dreams and wake up next morning in a much better mood.
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by Ismini Apostoli
Beat the blues! You can do it! And remember: BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND.
DO YOU OFTEN FEEL THAT YOU WANT TO SHOUT OUT, “SAME DAY, SAME OLD STUFF”? WE ARE THE CREATORS OF OUR OWN WORLD AND DO ACTUALLY HAVE CONTROL OF MOST OF THE THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN IT.
ARE YOU SICK OF THE SAME OLD STUFF? Most people live as if there is some kind of invisible force that captured their will and ability to remain active and productive. They act as if they are helpless victims of life and circumstances. Just look around you and see if you can detect one single person that made a really dramatic and sustained modification (turnaround) to his or her unsatisfactory lifestyle.
People often bitch and moan about their work, relationships, spouses and unruly children and act as if they are the victims of some sinister plot. When you go to social occasions you often discover that most people spend hours trying to top each other’s “victim” stories while they stare at each other through the bottoms of their cocktail glasses. When you finally drive home after these “socials” you often feel drained and incomplete.
Your “social” with your friends might have made you feel slightly better initially because you received confirmation that you are not the only one that are a victim in this cesspool called life. You are exposed to “bad news” messages wherever you go. Whenever you feel enthusiastic and upbeat, buy a newspaper. Before you read two pages you will be back to your normal subdued self.
We might feel that we are living under very testing conditions today and that our situation is unique, but when you investigate the “victim” phenomena worldwide you will find that most people suffer with this form of mental bondage.
We use crime and instability as our crutch to justify our victim behaviour in South Africa. You will discover that an endless range of excuses are used to justify “victim” behaviour globally even when crime is not so visible as in South Africa. The bottom line is that “victim” behaviour is something that comes from the inside, from your own mind.
We tend to “think” ourselves to a standstill and into an early grave. The “look at me, I am a victim” turmoil in the world has reached pandemic proportions. The collective negative mood on planet earth is negative and very destructive. The main reason why people experience these very immobilizing emotions is because of the overall habit of living in the PAST or the FUTURE. We can think up the most amazing disasters in the theatre of our minds. We can die a thousand deaths in our mind with our habit of projecting ourselves into imagined future disasters.
WHEN YOU LIVE IN THE FUTURE YOU GIVE UP YOUR RIGHT TO ACT IN THE NOW!
We form opinions at a very young age about most things in life. We have “feelings” about almost anything that we can ever be faced with. Any conclusion that we came to during our lifetime will usually remain part of our coping style until the day we die.
Most people fail to understand that “everything will remain the same until a change is made”. If you are allowing fear of something that might never happen to control your thinking you are disqualifying yourself from the reality of the now.
Just think of the key areas in your life such as your work, relationships and general lifestyle and take stock of your “general” behaviour in these areas. You need to study your habitual reaction pattern in any area if it is not working as you hoped it would. Stop waiting for others to modify their behaviour, beg you for forgiveness or that the problem will go away.
Become bold and active and start doing something about whatever you feel is bothering you. Nothing will change until you activate such change. Remember if you are in waiting mode and your dispute is with someone else you are handing control to this person. When you live in the NOW and you act in the present tense you make your life predictable and much more stress free. When you live in the FUTURE and fail to take action in the NOW you are “manufacturing” your own house of pain.
The only way that you can escape this stuck in the future or past zone is to begin to live in the NOW. Give yourself a fair chance to make a success of any given day. You can do this by talking to yourself.
Tell yourself that you are not interested in things that might never happen or that happened in the past. You are talking to yourself all day long, make these “chats” constructive and motivational. Give yourself a break and stop running yourself down. When you find your mind drifting into the “horror” mode tell yourself that you are not going to waste energy on events that may never happen. If you mind drifts into the “feel sorry for me mode”, take control and say, “I create my own circumstances and will not create a torture chamber for myself today.” Wipe the slate clean every morning and attack each day with enthusiasm and commitment. Live for the moment my friend. Today and each and every day is indeed a new day with wonderful opportunities if you are focused on the now.
DO YOU OFTEN FEEL THAT YOU WANT TO SHOUT OUT, “SAME DAY, SAME OLD STUFF”? WE ARE THE CREATORS OF OUR OWN WORLD AND DO ACTUALLY HAVE CONTROL OF MOST OF THE THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN IT.
.
ARE YOU SICK OF THE SAME OLD STUFF? Most people live as if there is some kind of invisible force that captured their will and ability to remain active and productive. They act as if they are helpless victims of life and circumstances. Just look around you and see if you can detect one single person that made a really dramatic and sustained modification (turnaround) to his or her unsatisfactory lifestyle.
People often bitch and moan about their work, relationships, spouses and unruly children and act as if they are the victims of some sinister plot. When you go to social occasions you often discover that most people spend hours trying to top each other’s “victim” stories while they stare at each other through the bottoms of their cocktail glasses. When you finally drive home after these “socials” you often feel drained and incomplete.
Your “social” with your friends might have made you feel slightly better initially because you received confirmation that you are not the only one that are a victim in this cesspool called life. You are exposed to “bad news” messages wherever you go. Whenever you feel enthusiastic and upbeat, buy a newspaper. Before you read two pages you will be back to your normal subdued self.
We might feel that we are living under very testing conditions today and that our situation is unique, but when you investigate the “victim” phenomena worldwide you will find that most people suffer with this form of mental bondage.
We use crime and instability as our crutch to justify our victim behaviour in South Africa. You will discover that an endless range of excuses are used to justify “victim” behaviour globally even when crime is not so visible as in South Africa. The bottom line is that “victim” behaviour is something that comes from the inside, from your own mind.
We tend to “think” ourselves to a standstill and into an early grave. The “look at me, I am a victim” turmoil in the world has reached pandemic proportions. The collective negative mood on planet earth is negative and very destructive. The main reason why people experience these very immobilizing emotions is because of the overall habit of living in the PAST or the FUTURE. We can think up the most amazing disasters in the theatre of our minds. We can die a thousand deaths in our mind with our habit of projecting ourselves into imagined future disasters.
WHEN YOU LIVE IN THE FUTURE YOU GIVE UP YOUR RIGHT TO ACT IN THE NOW!
We form opinions at a very young age about most things in life. We have “feelings” about almost anything that we can ever be faced with. Any conclusion that we came to during our lifetime will usually remain part of our coping style until the day we die.
Most people fail to understand that “everything will remain the same until a change is made”. If you are allowing fear of something that might never happen to control your thinking you are disqualifying yourself from the reality of the now.
Just think of the key areas in your life such as your work, relationships and general lifestyle and take stock of your “general” behaviour in these areas. You need to study your habitual reaction pattern in any area if it is not working as you hoped it would. Stop waiting for others to modify their behaviour, beg you for forgiveness or that the problem will go away.
Become bold and active and start doing something about whatever you feel is bothering you. Nothing will change until you activate such change. Remember if you are in waiting mode and your dispute is with someone else you are handing control to this person. When you live in the NOW and you act in the present tense you make your life predictable and much more stress free. When you live in the FUTURE and fail to take action in the NOW you are “manufacturing” your own house of pain.
The only way that you can escape this stuck in the future or past zone is to begin to live in the NOW. Give yourself a fair chance to make a success of any given day. You can do this by talking to yourself.
Tell yourself that you are not interested in things that might never happen or that happened in the past. You are talking to yourself all day long, make these “chats” constructive and motivational. Give yourself a break and stop running yourself down. When you find your mind drifting into the “horror” mode tell yourself that you are not going to waste energy on events that may never happen. If you mind drifts into the “feel sorry for me mode”, take control and say, “I create my own circumstances and will not create a torture chamber for myself today.” Wipe the slate clean every morning and attack each day with enthusiasm and commitment. Live for the moment my friend. Today and each and every day is indeed a new day with wonderful opportunities if you are focused on the now.
Most of us FAIL once and then give up. We allow the FEELINGS of DISCOMFORT and DISAPPOINTMENT to paralyze us and STOP us from trying. It is only those that view FAILURES as potential LEARNING experiences that GROW and OVERCOME. Can you see how we allow our historical FEELINGS and FEAR to arrest our potential? Champions compose and reposition themselves until the job is done.
When I started with Rene’s Reading Room I had a vision that I could provide a haven to readers where they can come, sit back and relax while they read and view subject matter that would hopefully uplift, motivate and expand their vision. I diligently expanded on the post data base and in a relative short period of time accumulated over 10 000 posts. I diligently posted articles, clips and even a few book series written by bestselling authors. I often wrote fresh articles or extracted material from my huge data base that I established after many years of writing and lecturing on a wide range of subjects. I invested the time and energy posting this material because I firmly believed that everyone on this planet have the right to be happy, successful and well informed. I challenged the readers to open their minds and look at life, death, religion, work and play from many different perspectives. I gave hundreds if not thousands of lectures during my lifetime and wrote several books and scripts for my audio lectures over the years. I have in the past and will continue to post articles in the Reading Room that will hopefully uplift and challenge visitors to break free from the fixed perspectives that might have been preventing them from being the best they can be at any given moment.
I firmly believe that we are all ONE. We, notwithstanding our differences are all travellers on spaceship earth. We and those that came before us created the collective consciousness that we experience daily. You are a mirror of the collective perceptions that you gathered since your early childhood. Some of us grew up in a Roman Catholic or protestant environment while others in turn grew up in a Muslim home. We call the creator of all universes by different names and perceive this force from many different perspectives. Our insistence that our God is the only true God shattered mankind into tiny vulnerable pieces. We erected walls around our perceptions of God and our understanding of life and death. We were conditioned to perceive life from a “them” and “us” basis. This mindset gradually isolated us into comfort zones with high walls that kept our beliefs in and repelled all other perceptions that fail to match our perceived values. This is how we created our concept of “good” and “evil”. We believed that our God and beliefs are the only truth. Our spiritual leaders ruled the territory behind our high walls and fortified castles with an iron fist. They convinced us that our God is the only God that any other spiritual perception is the work of a fictitious devil. We in our arrogance failed to even attempt to understand or investigate other ideas and perceptions. We were conditioned via guilt, shame and fear from early childhood to reject any data offered by anyone outside our self-proclaimed “perfect” nest.
I will continue to provide many different perceptions on this blog. I am doing this because I concluded after a lifetime of study that we are ONE notwithstanding our walls, boundaries and little the boxes that we hide in. There is only the ONE life force that we live and expire in. We are all on the same path and everyone is following this path to the best of his own ability. We gave this life force many names. Everyone, notwithstanding his current state of consciousness is united with this force. It is an illusion to think that there are a “them” and “us” my friends. This planet is in serious trouble and bleeding profusely from the wounds that we dealt mother earth in our greed for more. We are so divided in our own demarcated zones that we fail to see what we are collectively doing to this place that sustained mankind since inception. We managed to deplete a huge percentage of the vital resources that sustain life on this plane. The time has come for everyone to urgently unite for the collective good of mankind. We need to take urgent action to save us from extension. Mother earth will survive and recover from her wounds, but will we, all seven billion of us still be on spaceship earth as she continues to majestically hurl herself forward on her journey through space?
Mutual respect developed in relationships ensures sustainability and good quality choices. The key is to create a platform where parties can talk openly, without fear about observations, experiences and feelings. I sometimes find it almost humorous to hear from friends how their partner went crazy, hyperventilated and pulled out clumps of hair from his or her scalp after they share some bad news with him or her. A few dramatic performances by your partner after you share less acceptable news with him or her usually convince you that this open and honest thing should be avoided at all cost. That is one of the main reasons why partners begin to hide stuff from each other. It might be a good idea to set down a few ground rules about this open and honest mode of operation before you agree to take it on board. You must build in an escape clause if your partner begins to show symptoms of a heart attack or start looking for a sharp knife in the kitchen. I am exaggerating, but hope that you will accept that some ground rules must be put in place if one or both of the partners feel that honesty is the best policy. The best rule is to agree that you will bring in a “time out” period when any of the partners move away from a rational and objective communication style. You may find that one partner insist while he or she is foaming at the mouth that you conclude whatever you are busy talking about. My friend, take time out, even if you must dodge a few “flying saucers” on your way to your workshop. No problem, relationship or dispute has ever been solved amicably while one or both of the parties work in “crazy” mode. Showing respect and compassion is impossible while you jump up and down like a clown or make noises like a wounded buffalo. I thus suggest that you set some “playing” rules in this regard and avoid any engagement while upset or angry. Remember the “time out” rule if you want to master the art of dispute management.
The most powerful tool you own is your ability to measure if your current ACTION will take you TOWARDS your GOAL or AWAY from what you DESIRE. You measure your progress and the quality of your CHOICES by the FEELINGS that you experience. People, events, blogs, movies, newspaper articles and people in general will either make you FEEL empowered or dis-empowered, strong or weak, inspired or deflated during or after you engaged them. Your FEELINGS guide you faithfully during all your endeavours. FEELINGS of ANGER, FEAR, ANXIETY and DEPRESSION shout out to you that you need to move away from a POTENTIAL TROUBLE SOURCE. When you read a book, blog or magazine you become UPLIFTED and MOTIVATED or you become aware that the material is sucking some of your valuable energy out of your body and soul. My friend many of the things we do and the interactions we have either HEAL us or make us SICK. We are either swimming UPSTREAM or DOWNSTREAM while we participate in this game of life. We must take time to STOP periodically so we can evaluate the STATUS of our current activity. Our best friend can be our worst enemy if such friend often feed us with toxic interactions that make us WEAK and WORRIED. The most dangerous people, situations and perceived opportunities are often “packaged” in fancy false disguise. Groups are often toxic. They might have a facades of saintliness and salvation that hide their hidden agendas and concealed motives. Repeat the following as often as you can today. I will today allow my FEELINGS and INTUITION to guide me while at work or play. I will not accommodate people, things and events that make me feel deflated, depressed or weak. My FEELINGS guide me today toward SUCCESS and away from potential FAILURE and LOSS. Look around you today and become aware how many things and people attempt to suck the LIFE ENERGY from you! Become aware how society is set up to US and ABUSE you. perceptions (beliefs) might need updating.
We are AUTOMATICALLY ANCHORING images, feelings and emotions to everything that we EXPERIENCE in all our day-to-day activities. Our subconscious minds also develop a KEY TRIGGER that will call back to LIFE all the IMAGES and EMOTIONS stored in our sub-conscious minds. Any CURRENT EVENT or THOUGHT can TRIGGER a HISTORICAL range of emotions that lay DORMANT for years in our sub-conscious minds. We are constantly ASSOCIATING CURRENT events with HISTORICAL data stored in our sub-conscious minds. The problem that most of us have is that we think that we have no CONTROL over these THOUGHT PACKAGES that are endlessly TRIGGERED by new events that we are faced with daily. We become VICTIMS that are AMBUSHED by a never ending stream of HISTORICAL images, feelings and emotions that COLOUR every moment of our day. Most of us find it impossible to look at and experience our CURRENT MOMENTS without the interference of these HISTORICAL thought bundles. It is impossible to remain OBJECTIVE and refrain from JUDGING while we treat CURRENT people and events through a haze of HISTORICAL FEELINGS and EMOTIONS.
Very few people grasp that they are a POWERFUL MAGNET that day and night ATTRACT event, people, pain, pleasure, love, problems or solution into their SPACE. How you FEEL at any given moment indicates and reveals the QUALITY of the stuff that you are currently ATTRACTING. Your FEELINGS are your barometer that displays the quality of your current THOUGHTS, ACTION and REACTIONS. Things, people and event do not simply APPEAR or DISAPPEAR in or out of your LIFE. The CHOICES you made YESTERDAY grew into what you are FACED with TODAY. The LAW or CAUSE AND EFFECT is a natural law that regulate the quality of your LIFE.
You might find the following stunning and difficult to comprehend. Self-doubt and fear can be used to your advantage. The natural thing that most of us do is to move away or run like crazy from the source that activate feelings of fear in us. We usually RESIST the source of fear. We attempt to project a brave face while we look for ways that we can leave the stage and still keep our dignity intact. We are here at earth school to learn and experience. We should view anything and anyone that trigger fear in us as our teachers or opportunities to learn. The first basic lesson that we need to learn is to stop RESISTING things and people that cause fear in our hearts and minds. The uncomfortable feelings we experience come from warped messages programmed into us by well meaning individuals.
Our parents and teachers taught us how we should feel and act when confronted with an event that might have a negative outcome. The feelings that wash over us would not have had any impact on us if it had no message for us. The faithful alarm system in our heads is calling us to class so we can learn more about the art of DETACHMENT. We would have remained fully composed if we finished our lessons on the art of RESISTING perceived threats. We need to mentally transform the perceive threat into a watery substance that simply wash over and around us. You must learn the skill of allowing perceived threats to roll off you like water off a ducks back. The same principle can be used when we are expected to do a specific task that we fear.
Become like water and move towards your goals and objectives in a relaxed and composed manner. When you look at the champions in life you always discover that they might also initially experience a wave of fear, but then stop RESISTING the cause of their fear and do what needs to be done. They do not see the initial fear chemicals released by the brain as a signal to run for the hills. They welcome the trigger because it tells them that it is time to stop RESISTING and FIGHTING. It will be silly to relax when you are confronted with a snake that is on the verge of injecting you with toxic venom. You will in real emergencies still act in a composed manner and remove yourself from the danger zone. Many say that they felt paralysed by their fear when they faced a perceive threat. It is always a sigh of strong RESISTANCE when you experience fear to a level where you find it difficult to breathe or move. Individuals that get anxiety attacks intensify the dreadful feelings that wash over them when they RESIST these feelings.
Many that have been suffering with anxiety attacks for an extensive period cannot even recall what initially set the whole cycle in motion. All they know is that they fear their next attack. Individuals that suffer regular anxiety attacks will be amazed when they one day just sit back, breathe in a relaxed manner and stop RESISTING the dreadful feelings that they experience. They will soon discover that the attacks are nothing more than a toothless tiger. The so-called attacks soon run out of fuel.
The key to fear management is thus not combat. Go out today and check how many times you notice feelings of RESISTANCE that attempt to get your attention. Try and figure out what lesson you can learn from that event. Manage any event with a dose of NON-RESISTANCE. Become DETACHED like water or see the attack as nothing more than water as explained earlier. I will continue this series tomorrow.
You might find the following stunning and difficult to comprehend. Self-doubt and fear can be used to your advantage. The natural thing that most of us do is to move away or run like crazy from the source that activate feelings of fear in us. We usually RESIST the source of fear. We attempt to project a brave face while we look for ways that we can leave the stage and still keep our dignity intact. We are here at earth school to learn and experience. We should view anything and anyone that trigger fear in us as our teachers or opportunities to learn. The first basic lesson that we need to learn is to stop RESISTING things and people that cause fear in our hearts and minds. The uncomfortable feelings we experience come from warped messages programmed into us by well meaning individuals. Our parents and teachers taught us how we should feel and act when confronted with an event that might have a negative outcome. The feelings that wash over us would not have had any impact on us if it had no message for us. The faithful alarm system in our heads is calling us to class so we can learn more about the art of DETACHMENT. We would have remained fully composed if we finished our lessons on the art of RESISTING perceived threats. We need to mentally transform the perceive threat into a watery substance that simply wash over and around us. You must learn the skill of allowing perceived threats to roll off you like water off a ducks back. The same principle can be used when we are expected to do a specific task that we fear. Become like water and move towards your goals and objectives in a relaxed and composed manner. When you look at the champions in life you always discover that they might also initially experience a wave of fear, but then stop RESISTING the cause of their fear and do what needs to be done. They do not see the initial fear chemicals released by the brain as a signal to run for the hills. They welcome the trigger because it tells them that it is time to stop RESISTING and FIGHTING. It will be silly to relax when you are confronted with a snake that is on the verge of injecting you with toxic venom. You will in real emergencies still act in a composed manner and remove yourself from the danger zone. Many say that they felt paralysed by their fear when they faced a perceive threat. It is always a sigh of strong RESISTANCE when you experience fear to a level where you find it difficult to breathe or move. Individuals that get anxiety attacks intensify the dreadful feelings that wash over them when they RESIST these feelings. Many that have been suffering with anxiety attacks for an extensive period cannot even recall what initially set the whole cycle in motion. All they know is that they fear their next attack. Individuals that suffer regular anxiety attacks will be amazed when they one day just sit back, breathe in a relaxed manner and stop RESISTING the dreadful feelings that they experience. They will soon discover that the attacks are nothing more than a toothless tiger. The so-called attacks soon run out of fuel.
The key to fear management is thus not combat. Go out today and check how many times you notice feelings of RESISTANCE that attempt to get your attention. Try and figure out what lesson you can learn from that event. Manage any event with a dose of NON-RESISTANCE. Become DETACHED like water or see the attack as nothing more than water as explained earlier. I will continue this series tomorrow.
The most powerful tool you own is your ability to measure if your current ACTION will take you TOWARDS your GOAL or AWAY from what you DESIRE. You measure your progress and the quality of your CHOICES by the FEELINGS that you experience. People, events, blogs, movies, newspaper articles and people in general will either make you FEEL empowered or dis-empowered, strong or weak, inspired or deflated during or after you engaged them. Your FEELINGS guide you faithfully during all your endeavours. FEELINGS of ANGER, FEAR, ANXIETY and DEPRESSION shout out to you that you need to move away from a POTENTIAL TROUBLE SOURCE. When you read a book, blog or magazine you become UPLIFTED and MOTIVATED or you become aware that the material is sucking some of your valuable energy out of your body and soul. My friend many of the things we do and the interactions we have either HEAL us or make us SICK. We are either swimming UPSTREAM or DOWNSTREAM while we participate in this game of life. We must take time to STOP periodically so we can evaluate the STATUS of our current activity. Our best friend can be our worst enemy if such friend often feed us with toxic interactions that make us WEAK and WORRIED. The most dangerous people, situations and perceived opportunities are often “packaged” in fancy false disguise. Groups are often toxic. They might have a facades of saintliness and salvation that hide their hidden agendas and concealed motives. Repeat the following as often as you can today. I will today allow my FEELINGS and INTUITION to guide me while at work or play. I will not accommodate people, things and events that make me feel deflated, depressed or weak. My FEELINGS guide me today toward SUCCESS and away from potential FAILURE and LOSS. Look around you today and become aware how many things and people attempt to suck the LIFE ENERGY from you! Become aware how society is set up to US and ABUSE you. perceptions (beliefs) might need updating.
Everyday you make a thousand choices. You choose what to wear, where to go, who to meet, what to eat and what to do. MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, YOU decide WHAT TO THINK. One thing is sure and that is that your day will not be better than your thoughts. ...................
Just close your eyes for a moment and see if you can visualise this open toolbox and if you can see the hundreds of tools that are neatly placed in this toolbox. Now look if you can see the maker’s name on these tools. The creator of these tools (thoughts and perceptions) is you. You created thousands of thoughts and perceptions (tools) about everything since your childhood. ..................
When confronted with any situation or problem you reach into this toolbox and take out what you think the most appropriate tool would be and then attempt to fix the problem. It is estimated that your mind thinks at least 2,500 thoughts an hour. Every thought that you think is a tool (perception) that you have that you imagine would work best under specific circumstances. This thought process continues day and night and will do so for the rest of your life. .....................................
I am convinced that we think ourselves to a standstill. We never stop playing with these tools in our toolbox and can hardly ever really relax for a while. If we are not faced with a problem or task that needs completion we still continue to take out these tools and mentally rehears and contemplate how we will use them should something that we fear become a reality. ............................
We are forever thinking and scheming and never become still and tranquil inside. Our bodies might seem relaxed, but deep inside our heads this thought process continues churning around. What I am most worried about is that most of the tools that you have in your toolbox are very old and outdated. .......................
Many of the opportunities, problems and obstructions that you face daily cannot be repaired while you are using old and outdated tools. If you take a modern mechanic’s toolbox and you place the toolbox of a mechanic of fifty years ago next to it you will find that there are major discrepancies. When you are confronted with something that needs repair and you do not have the right tool for the task at hand it can be very frustrating. We usually improvise and try using some other tools and hope that it will also get the job done. ........................
When you are faced with a problem you need to select the right tool for the task at hand. If you do not have the tool in your toolbox it can complicate your life. What most people seem to ignore is that it is sometimes better not to reach for your toolbox when faced with a problem. Sometimes you need time to pass or need to leave the problem with its rightful owner. How well you use your tools is usually reflected in the world you see around you. What would you do if you were faced with any or all of the following? .........................
You get a flat tire on your way to an important customer or meeting. You can fall apart, develop a migraine and think that life is against you or you can take out the right tools (patience and reality) and take care of the problem in a relaxed manner. ........................
You have been working on the computer for hours and suddenly lose all your work. You can drop dead with a heart attack; think that God hates you or you can take out the right tool (sanity and reality) and begin over and this time remember to make a backup of your work. ....................
A lover or wife possibly cheated on you. You can go crazy and get an assassin to take out the potential threat to your relationship, think that you are a failure or you can take out the right tool (no fear of loss) and get on with your life. .......................
When you have the right tools in your toolbox it makes life a lot easier. The choices we make are vital in our lives. The more quality choices we make during any given day the higher the probability of success and peace of mind. ................
I suggest that you equip your toolbox with the best tools you can lay your hands on. It is important to upgrade if you discover that one of your tools are outdated or that a more modern version is available. How would you react if your TV packed up and a technician that obviously knows very little about electronics arrived at your house with only a sledgehammer and a few other primitive tools in his toolbox? I am sure that you will send him away and find someone better qualified and equipped for the task. .....................
You might sometimes be like this incompetent and poorly equipped technician indicated above if you do not often update your tools (thoughts) in your toolbox. You can also have all the right tools in your toolbox and never use them because you are afraid that you might make a mistake. ..................
You must remember that happiness and success is always just one thought (tool) away. You should remember when you find it difficult to cope with something that one new tool (thought) could change your life. One fresh thought and one new idea can change your life from pain and suffering to success and peace of mind. ........................
You are today what you were programmed with yesterday. The choices that you make on a moment-to-moment basis decide your fate and future. You can never feel or perform better than the ongoing thoughts and feelings that you allow to occupy your mind! .......................
The mistake we make is that most of us live our lives on a reactive basis. We start and complete our day in a reactive state of being. Something comes to our attention via our five senses or via a thought in our mind. We automatically slip into the “role” that we created for ourselves many moons ago. We act, react and experience the same feelings and emotions that we embedded with our scrip at its inception. We do exactly the same when new stimuli push the previous “drama” off the stage in our minds. We sustain this reactive mode of thinking until we finally go to bed at night. Most of our days are made up of a tapestry of “roles” that we played in our own colorful way. It is important to understand that nothing is going to change until we do something different. We cannot repeat the same old recipes and expect a different outcome. ....................
You can use the “Portable Life Skills Wisdom” book to develop a range of appropriate scripts that you can use when you are faced with a problem or project that need your attention. You will if you apply the scripts in this book find that you no longer run your life on a reactive basis. The new scripts will help you to live your life in the moment. You will become more realistic. You will treat each event on its own merit. How do you do this? ......................
The Process ....................
Read the first message in your book. Write it down if at all possible. It will assist you to absorb the data provided. Now sit back and close your eyes and visualize how you will apply the specific message in the various areas of your life. See yourself on the screen of your mind using the message in all your day-to-day activities. It is important to attempt to feel and experience the benefits that this new mode of thinking will bring into your life. Do this for ten minutes. Then open your eyes and begin to apply the wisdom on all occasions where appropriate in your activities on that given day. ...........................
Proceed to do the same with second message etc. in your book tomorrow. You will upload almost a thousand powerful recipes if you sustain the process indicated above. You can in less than three years upload a powerful “tool” system that will serve you for the rest of your life. This can be a life changing experience if you apply it daily. You will discover that the ten minutes you invest daily will upload countless new strategies into your subconscious computer. Build a successful and happy life. The key however is action. You can have the best tools available to man and still fail if you don’t use them daily. Wishing you the very best with this endeavor. .............................
Daily Support System (This Blog) ................
You not only have the massive key ideas in the book that you can use when appropriate you also receive daily posts on a wide range of subjects that will expand this system to a level never offered before. Visit this blog daily for fresh new ideas with a sprinkle of historical wisdom that stood the test of time. ..........................
Rene
PORTABLE LIFE SKILLS DAILY WISDOM GUIDE 