IS IT A NEW DAY OR IS IT A REPLAY OF YESTERDAY?
DO YOU OFTEN FEEL THAT YOU WANT TO SHOUT OUT, “SAME DAY, SAME OLD STUFF”? WE ARE THE CREATORS OF OUR OWN WORLD AND DO ACTUALLY HAVE CONTROL OF MOST OF THE THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN IT.
ARE YOU SICK OF THE SAME OLD STUFF? Most people live as if there is some kind of invisible force that captured their will and ability to remain active and productive. They act as if they are helpless victims of life and circumstances. Just look around you and see if you can detect one single person that made a really dramatic and sustained modification (turnaround) to his or her unsatisfactory lifestyle.
People often bitch and moan about their work, relationships, spouses and unruly children and act as if they are the victims of some sinister plot. When you go to social occasions you often discover that most people spend hours trying to top each other’s “victim” stories while they stare at each other through the bottoms of their cocktail glasses. When you finally drive home after these “socials” you often feel drained and incomplete.
Your “social” with your friends might have made you feel slightly better initially because you received confirmation that you are not the only one that are a victim in this cesspool called life. You are exposed to “bad news” messages wherever you go. Whenever you feel enthusiastic and upbeat, buy a newspaper. Before you read two pages you will be back to your normal subdued self.
We might feel that we are living under very testing conditions today and that our situation is unique, but when you investigate the “victim” phenomena worldwide you will find that most people suffer with this form of mental bondage.
We use crime and instability as our crutch to justify our victim behaviour in South Africa. You will discover that an endless range of excuses are used to justify “victim” behaviour globally even when crime is not so visible as in South Africa. The bottom line is that “victim” behaviour is something that comes from the inside, from your own mind.
We tend to “think” ourselves to a standstill and into an early grave. The “look at me, I am a victim” turmoil in the world has reached pandemic proportions. The collective negative mood on planet earth is negative and very destructive. The main reason why people experience these very immobilizing emotions is because of the overall habit of living in the PAST or the FUTURE. We can think up the most amazing disasters in the theatre of our minds. We can die a thousand deaths in our mind with our habit of projecting ourselves into imagined future disasters.
WHEN YOU LIVE IN THE FUTURE YOU GIVE UP YOUR RIGHT TO ACT IN THE NOW!
We form opinions at a very young age about most things in life. We have “feelings” about almost anything that we can ever be faced with. Any conclusion that we came to during our lifetime will usually remain part of our coping style until the day we die.
Most people fail to understand that “everything will remain the same until a change is made”. If you are allowing fear of something that might never happen to control your thinking you are disqualifying yourself from the reality of the now.
Just think of the key areas in your life such as your work, relationships and general lifestyle and take stock of your “general” behaviour in these areas. You need to study your habitual reaction pattern in any area if it is not working as you hoped it would. Stop waiting for others to modify their behaviour, beg you for forgiveness or that the problem will go away.
Become bold and active and start doing something about whatever you feel is bothering you. Nothing will change until you activate such change. Remember if you are in waiting mode and your dispute is with someone else you are handing control to this person. When you live in the NOW and you act in the present tense you make your life predictable and much more stress free. When you live in the FUTURE and fail to take action in the NOW you are “manufacturing” your own house of pain.
The only way that you can escape this stuck in the future or past zone is to begin to live in the NOW. Give yourself a fair chance to make a success of any given day. You can do this by talking to yourself.
Tell yourself that you are not interested in things that might never happen or that happened in the past. You are talking to yourself all day long, make these “chats” constructive and motivational. Give yourself a break and stop running yourself down. When you find your mind drifting into the “horror” mode tell yourself that you are not going to waste energy on events that may never happen. If you mind drifts into the “feel sorry for me mode”, take control and say, “I create my own circumstances and will not create a torture chamber for myself today.” Wipe the slate clean every morning and attack each day with enthusiasm and commitment. Live for the moment my friend. Today and each and every day is indeed a new day with wonderful opportunities if you are focused on the now.