YOUR MIND IS FULL OF THOUGHTS OF LOVE, JUDGEMENT, PEACE, FEAR, GRACE, GUILT, JOY, ANGER, FORGIVENESS, ATTACK, LAUGHTER, WORK, PLAY, JUDGMENT, KINDNESS, ISOLATION AND ONENESS ETC!
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YOUR HEAD IS LIKE A TOOLBOX: Everyday you make a thousand choices. You choose what to wear, where to go, who to meet, what to eat and what to do. MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, YOU decide WHAT TO THINK. One thing is sure and that is that your day will not be better than you thoughts.
Just close your eyes for a moment and see if you can visualise this open toolbox and if you can see the hundreds of tools that are neatly placed in this toolbox. Now look if you can see the maker’s name on these tools. The creator of these tools (thoughts and perceptions) is you. You created thousands of thoughts and perceptions (tools) about everything since your childhood.
When confronted with any situation or problem you reach into this toolbox and take out what you think the most appropriate tool and attempt to fix the problem. It is estimated that your mind thinks at least 2,500 thoughts an hour. Every thought that you think is a tool (perception) that you have that you imagine would work best under specific circumstances. This thought process continue day and night and will do so for the rest of your life.
I am convinced that we think ourselves to a standstill. We never stop playing with these tools in our toolbox and can hardly ever really relax for a while. If we are not faced with a problem or task that needs completion we still continue to take out these tools and mentally rehears and contemplate how we will use them should something that we fear become a reality.
We are forever thinking and scheming and never become still and tranquil inside. Our bodies might seem relaxed, but deep inside our heads this thought process continues churning around. What I am most worried about is that most of the tools that you have in our toolboxes is very old and outdated.
Many of the modern problems that you face cannot be repaired using these tools. If you take a modern mechanic’s toolbox and you place the toolbox of a mechanic of fifty years ago next to it you will find that there are major discrepancies. When you are confronted with something that needs repair and you do not have the right tool for the task at hand it can be very frustrating. We usually improvise and try using some other tool and hope that it will also get the job done.
When you are faced with a problem you need to select the right tool for the task at hand. If you do not have the tool in your toolbox it can complicate your life. What most people seem to ignore is that it is sometimes better not to reach for your toolbox when faced with a problem. Sometimes you need time to pass or need to leave the problem with its rightful owner. How well you use your tools is usually reflected in the world you see around you. What would you do if you were faced with any or all of the following?
You get a flat tire on your way to an important customer or meeting. You can fall apart, develop a migraine and think that life is against you or you can take out the right tools (patience and reality) and take care of the problem in a relaxed manner.
You have been working on the computer for hours and suddenly lose all your work. You can drop dead with a heart attack, think that God hates you or you can take out the right tool (sanity and reality) and begin over again and remember this time to make a backup your work.
A lover or wife possibly cheated on you. You can go crazy and get an assassin to take her potential lover out, think that you are a failure or you can take out the right tool (no fear of loss) and get on with your life.
When you have the right tools in your toolbox it makes life a lot easier. The choices we make are vital in our lives. The more quality choices we make during any given day the higher the probability of success and peace of mind.
I suggest that you equip your toolbox with the best tools you can lay your hands on. If you discover that one of your tools are outdated or that a more modern version is available. How would you react if your TV packed up and a technician that obviously knows very little about electronics arrived at your house with only a sledgehammer and a few other primitive tools in his toolbox? I am sure that you will send him away and find someone better qualified and equipped for the task.
You might sometimes be like this incompetent and poorly equipped technician indicated above if you do not often update your tools (thoughts) in your toolbox. You can also have all the right tools in your toolbox and never use them because you are afraid that you might make a mistake.
You must remember that happiness and success is always just one thought (tool) away. You should remember when you find it difficult to cope with something that one new tool (thought) could change your life. One fresh thought and one new idea can change your life from pain and suffering to success and peace of mind.
You are what you think. Your choices that you make on a moment-to-moment basis decide your fate and future. You are really what you think. You can never feel or perform better than the ongoing thoughts that you allow to occupy your mind!
I could build a practice on this one question. “How do we get that spark back?”
The answer is shockingly simple. Be the person you were when you had spark. It’s no secret that in the beginning of a relationship we are on our best behavior. However, a more subtle reality is that falling in love makes us feel our most alive. In that high vibration, sharply alive energy, to put it simply, it’s easy to be exciting, sexy, and engaged. Not too mention your formerly single self was doing a lot of cool and exciting things – that you may or may not do any more.
Fast forward a few months or years and in many cases that highly charged vibe wears off. Now, I know what you’re thinking. “We have bills, pets, kids, cars, jobs, and responsibilities up the wazoo. I am run down and drug out most of the time. I don’t have the energy to fake being ‘madly in love’ ”.
Here’s the trick. You have to get back to what turned you on before the relationship. What made you feel the most alive and engaged? What brought you the most bliss and joy. If you want to get that spark back in your marriage, you have to get that fire lit underneath yourself again. Working on your marriage never really works. You really only have yourself and your energy to play with. So, why not do just that. Play.
You may be wondering, “But what about my spouse??? It takes two to tango. Don’t they need to do some changing too?” Maybe, maybe not. However, you stand a lot better chance of getting someone else to change by leading that band energetically then you do by begging, pleading, fighting, and nagging. If you get get yourself turned on and lit up again, chances are very, very high your beloved will follow right along, probably because they are curious about where all the fun is.
So, pull out your photo album. Find some pictures of yourself right before you met your honey and the first few weeks you were together. Who was that woman? Where did she go? I can guarantee you this. If you can find her, you are at least 90% of the way down the road back to, not just sparks, but fireworks in your marriage.
Subliminal refers to things that you do not consciously perceive but it rather have an effect on your subconscious mind. Subliminal Persuasion is an art of influencing others without the knowledge of that person. When subliminal methods are used it bypass the conscious decision-making abilities of a person and the commands are registered directly in the subconscious of that person.
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Some Powerful Subliminal Persuasion Techniques
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Subliminal Persuasion using Inflection:
A simple sentences like “I can’t offer that price” have a lot of meaning, it depends on the word you emphasize.
Example:
I can’t offer you that price (But someone can do that).
I can’t offer you that price (There is no way of reducing price).
I can’t offer you that price (But I can offer someone else).
I can’t offer you that price (But I could offer a good price).
You can see on the above example the meaning of the statement is determined by the words we emphasize. If you can’t offer the price he is asking, you can say “I cant offer you that price” and he may still feel good and you should immediately come with the best price you could offer for him.
Subliminal Flash:
When messages or images flashed in front of us at a very high speed, our naked eyes can’t see it. The positive messages or images flashed will not be filtered out by our conscious mind and the message directly enters our subconscious mind. The suggestions entered your subconscious mind will have a great effect on our attitude and behaviour.
Subliminal refers to things that you do not consciously perceive but it rather have an effect on your subconscious mind. Subliminal Persuasion is an art of influencing others without the knowledge of that person. When subliminal methods are used it bypass the conscious decision-making abilities of a person and the commands are registered directly in the subconscious of that person.
Some Powerful Subliminal Persuasion Techniques
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Subliminal Persuasion using Inflection:
A simple sentences like “I can’t offer that price” have a lot of meaning, it depends on the word you emphasize.
Example:
I can’t offer you that price (But someone can do that).
I can’t offer you that price (There is no way of reducing price).
I can’t offer you that price (But I can offer someone else).
I can’t offer you that price (But I could offer a good price).
You can see on the above example the meaning of the statement is determined by the words we emphasize. If you can’t offer the price he is asking, you can say “I cant offer you that price” and he may still feel good and you should immediately come with the best price you could offer for him.
Subliminal Flash:
When messages or images flashed in front of us at a very high speed, our naked eyes can’t see it. The positive messages or images flashed will not be filtered out by our conscious mind and the message directly enters our subconscious mind. The suggestions entered your subconscious mind will have a great effect on our attitude and behaviour.
You need to stop living your life having regrets for things in your past. Constantly thinking about events from your past that you aren’t proud of, mistakes you may have made in your relationships, or things you “should have” done isn’t going to make your future any better. You need to accept where you are in your life for what it is, and learn from your “mistakes”. No matter how bad you view something from your past to be, take the time to really find something positive from it. Look hard. There is something there.
Things are going to happen to you. They happen to everybody. It’s how you deal with them that allows you to grow as a person and an overall happier human being. If you’re able to find just one positive from an event, you will grow. Consider this example:
Say you’re in college and your friends invite you out for a few beers. However, you have a big exam the next day. You’ve studied for weeks and are certain of all the material that’s going to be on the exam. You decide to go because you heard that cute guy or girl you’ve had your eye on is going to be there. You have a few beers and finally get the courage to do some flirting. After a few more beers, you’re pretty drunk and decide you need to go home. You catch a few hours sleep and take your exam. Long story short, you fail the exam because you made a bad decision to go out the night before. You feel complete disappointment in yourself, which you should. However, instead of moping around about it, learn from your mistake and move on with your life. Realize that your hard work doesn’t pay off unless you complete the project. Studying for weeks for the exam was wasted for a night out of fun. Learn what you need to do to accomplish the goals you set out for yourself, and stay disciplined until you have successfully completed what you set out to do.
To take that first move toward to a new positive way of pursuing life, try the following:
Make a list of the events from your life that you continue to dwell on and can’t seem to let go of.
For each event, write down what your mistake was, what you learned from this mistake, and something positive you have today because of the situation.
Let go of it!
If you are able to release the binds of the past and start to live for today, you will start to feel a happiness that is very rewarding. What’s in the past, is in the past. It cannot be undone. Apply your energy to today and appreciate the life that you have.
Most of us sooner or later discover that we have two forces that course through our veins. We automatically vacillate between the “upper” and “lower” limits of this force on a moment to moment basis. The UPPER end of the pole of this system is called the “ACTION” zone and the “LOWEST” end of this pole is characterized as the “NON-ACTION” zone. The feelings generated by thoughts, events or for that matter everything and everyone we encounter decides the quality of the output we intend using to deal with the matter at hand. The mistake we make is that many of us think that we are at the mercy of this so-called automatic reaction patterns that endlessly flood our minds and hearts daily. We jump with joy and run like the wind when good feelings are generated by the thought or event that we are confronted with (ACTION) or shut down and retreat into a dark place in our minds (NON-ACTION). What many of us never knew or understood is that there is no need to remain a victim of our historical conditioning or past mistakes. All that is real and valid is our current moment. We can if we decide to take control act in an appropriate and powerful manner notwithstanding the threat and feelings of doubt that we might be confronted with. You are part of a universal force that caters for evolution on a moment to moment basis. Call this force God my friend if it will make you feel more comfortable. This force is fair and allows every living thing in the universe to evolve, grow and expand notwithstanding his or her history. You can make a fresh start on a moment to moment basis. You are allocated 86400 new moments in any given day where you can make a fresh start. There is no need to fear failure or hide in the “NON-ACTION” zone. The NON-ACTION zone is a place where you become stagnant and RESIST risking the possibility of getting hurt or disappointed. The choices you make decide the quality of the outcomes you experience daily. Very few of us understand that not making a choice is actually also a choice that you make. You choose NON-ACTION and RESISTANCE and give up control.
Spend some time today to probe why you have this reluctance to take action. What is the cause of the resistance deep inside you that is preventing you from being the best you that you can ever be? Now make a list of all the things you will do if you knew that you cannot fail. Make a list of everything that comes to mind. Think it and then ink it. I will continue this series tomorrow.
YOUR MIND IS FULL OF THOUGHTS OF LOVE, JUDGEMENT, PEACE, FEAR, GRACE, GUILT, JOY, ANGER, FORGIVENESS, ATTACK, LAUGHTER, WORK, PLAY, JUDGMENT, KINDNESS, ISOLATION AND ONENESS ETC!
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YOUR HEAD IS LIKE A TOOLBOX: Everyday you make a thousand choices. You choose what to wear, where to go, who to meet, what to eat and what to do. MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, YOU decide WHAT TO THINK. One thing is sure and that is that your day will not be better than you thoughts.
Just close your eyes for a moment and see if you can visualise this open toolbox and if you can see the hundreds of tools that are neatly placed in this toolbox. Now look if you can see the maker’s name on these tools. The creator of these tools (thoughts and perceptions) is you. You created thousands of thoughts and perceptions (tools) about everything since your childhood.
When confronted with any situation or problem you reach into this toolbox and take out what you think the most appropriate tool and attempt to fix the problem. It is estimated that your mind thinks at least 2,500 thoughts an hour. Every thought that you think is a tool (perception) that you have that you imagine would work best under specific circumstances. This thought process continue day and night and will do so for the rest of your life.
I am convinced that we think ourselves to a standstill. We never stop playing with these tools in our toolbox and can hardly ever really relax for a while. If we are not faced with a problem or task that needs completion we still continue to take out these tools and mentally rehears and contemplate how we will use them should something that we fear become a reality.
We are forever thinking and scheming and never become still and tranquil inside. Our bodies might seem relaxed, but deep inside our heads this thought process continues churning around. What I am most worried about is that most of the tools that you have in our toolboxes is very old and outdated.
Many of the modern problems that you face cannot be repaired using these tools. If you take a modern mechanic’s toolbox and you place the toolbox of a mechanic of fifty years ago next to it you will find that there are major discrepancies. When you are confronted with something that needs repair and you do not have the right tool for the task at hand it can be very frustrating. We usually improvise and try using some other tool and hope that it will also get the job done.
When you are faced with a problem you need to select the right tool for the task at hand. If you do not have the tool in your toolbox it can complicate your life. What most people seem to ignore is that it is sometimes better not to reach for your toolbox when faced with a problem. Sometimes you need time to pass or need to leave the problem with its rightful owner. How well you use your tools is usually reflected in the world you see around you. What would you do if you were faced with any or all of the following?
You get a flat tire on your way to an important customer or meeting. You can fall apart, develop a migraine and think that life is against you or you can take out the right tools (patience and reality) and take care of the problem in a relaxed manner.
You have been working on the computer for hours and suddenly lose all your work. You can drop dead with a heart attack, think that God hates you or you can take out the right tool (sanity and reality) and begin over again and remember this time to make a backup your work.
A lover or wife possibly cheated on you. You can go crazy and get an assassin to take her potential lover out, think that you are a failure or you can take out the right tool (no fear of loss) and get on with your life.
When you have the right tools in your toolbox it makes life a lot easier. The choices we make are vital in our lives. The more quality choices we make during any given day the higher the probability of success and peace of mind.
I suggest that you equip your toolbox with the best tools you can lay your hands on. If you discover that one of your tools are outdated or that a more modern version is available. How would you react if your TV packed up and a technician that obviously knows very little about electronics arrived at your house with only a sledgehammer and a few other primitive tools in his toolbox? I am sure that you will send him away and find someone better qualified and equipped for the task.
You might sometimes be like this incompetent and poorly equipped technician indicated above if you do not often update your tools (thoughts) in your toolbox. You can also have all the right tools in your toolbox and never use them because you are afraid that you might make a mistake.
You must remember that happiness and success is always just one thought (tool) away. You should remember when you find it difficult to cope with something that one new tool (thought) could change your life. One fresh thought and one new idea can change your life from pain and suffering to success and peace of mind.
You are what you think. Your choices that you make on a moment-to-moment basis decide your fate and future. You are really what you think. You can never feel or perform better than the ongoing thoughts that you allow to occupy your mind!
Being at peace is the wonderful state of mind and body where all is calm, where thoughts are quiet and serene, and where muscles are relaxed and comfortable. In this article, you’ll learn how to attain this inner peace in a matter of minutes.
Once you are adept at controlling your mind and body, you are always only one simple thought away from perfect peacefulness.
You can “will” perfect peacefulness at any time. You will be able to move out of stressful situations immediately. All you need to do is follow a few simple steps to train yourself. A little practice is all that is required. But, you must take the time to direct the mind and body in positive ways so that you can ensure the pleasures of inner peace.
You’re at the wheel. So let’s drive on!
Let peace happen.
Being at peace is a choice. When we stop struggling and fighting the world around us—and the world within us—peace can happen. Our individual fight is with our thoughts, emotions and physical bodies. The fighting can be directed toward ourselves or those we face each day. Here are several approaches to quickly give up the fight and win at the same time.
There are many ways your physical body can take on struggles you face each day. Maybe you clench your jaw when you get mad. Maybe you collect tension across the back of your neck and shoulders. Maybe butterflies trouble your stomach. The first step is being aware of what you are doing. The second step is to consciously make the choice to release the tension.
Your mind takes on struggles in the form of mental images. Do you tend to imagine the ideal end result or the worst possible situation? Troubling and negative mental images translate into unpleasant emotions and stressful physical reactions.
Choose carefully the thoughts you think because they absolutely affect how you feel. Realize that the only person who can change your thoughts is you. You can then take charge and change your thoughts for the better.
Emotions are natural physiological changes that occur when thoughts are held in your mind. You can easily direct your emotional states by changing your posture; for example, sit straight, tilt your head, use facial expressions, walk differently, etc. You can also direct your emotional states by holding brighter and more pleasing visual images in mind. You have the choice, but you must make the choice.
Creating Peace of Mind
To create peace within yourself, simply relax your body and breathing; then, direct the mind.
A still body is the reflection of a calm mind, but the mind cannot be still until the body is still.
Begin by making your body comfortable. Then release areas of tension. As example, gentle movements of the neck and shoulder muscles can help stretch and release tension in those areas.
Breathing in an even and steady way will quickly calm both the body and mind. Make the inhale and exhale of equal length without any pauses in between. Your breathing will become smooth and even.
The next step is to quiet the mind. Start by bringing your awareness into this present moment, here and now. By doing this you can effectively eliminate distracting or troubling thoughts. Any anxieties about the future or tensions from the past will leave your mind and body.
Another way to direct the mind is to direct your inner voice–especially if it is anxious or overbearing. Play with the idea of changing the volume of your inner voice. Have it be quieter.
Modify the tone of you inner voice until it is pleasant, warm and nurturing. You can have it say pleasant and comforting words to you—words of encouragement and self esteem. Some people even repeat soothing words or phrases in a rhythmic way.
The final step is to hold images that encourage a peaceful mind. For thousands of years, prayerful and meditative people have directed the mind by holding steady mental pictures. For example, the image of a candle flame can be used to concentrate one’s attention and steady the mind. You can use images of a peaceful scene from nature, a vacation setting, an imaginary room of comfort, a cathedral, rose bushes, or anything calming, wonderful, and peaceful.
What To Do Once You’ve Got There.
Getting to a relaxed state of mind and body by the above steps may take 20-30 minutes at first. With practice, however, you’ll be able to accomplish this within a few minutes.
When you try to extend this peaceful feeling for long periods of time, you may find that your mind will race to other thoughts. After all, your mind is trained to race, to go full throttle, all day long. If you suddenly stop for 20 minutes, will your mind to cooperate? No. It will do what you trained it to do for the 16 hours–race!
So, what’s the solution? How do you create a peace-filled life, and not peaceful three-minute spurts? Take it one moment and one thought at a time. Bring peaceful, serene, and positive images and feelings into the rest of your day. Learn to release tensions as they occur. Learn to direct your thoughts and emotions at the time they start getting out of hand. You’ll discover that not only can you create a peacefulness, but you are living a peace-filled life.
EVEN A LITTLE BIT OF RECOGNITION CAN GO AN INCREDIBLY LONG WAY IN A PERSON’S LIFE
JOHN MAXWELL
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I am often astounded when I see how unappreciative people have become. I am not talking about buying someone a vehicle or sending him or her on a boat trip around the world in appreciation here. I am talking about something much more simple. What I have in mind is the simple and low energy activity of moving your lips and forming the words, “Thank you.” Society has become sour, critical and self-centred and takes far too much for granted. I will start with children. Children today begin at a very young age to become takers and usually sustain this parasite behaviour habit into adulthood. I have seen many parents go without to ensure a good education for their children. I have seen how parents worked two jobs and forfeit their health and best years of their life to ensure that their ungrateful offspring can go around with “designer or brand name” clothing. I can feel the veins in my neck popping when I see how ill mannered children treat their parents as if they are brain dead morons. Appreciation usually only enters the picture when the spoiled child needs to lay his hands of the wallet of their “well worn” parents.
The inability to express appreciation is rife in society today. Not only children go around taking things for granted. When last did you catch someone expressing honest out of the heart unsolicited appreciation? People are starved of this vital ingredient in all levels of society today. People blush and become embarrassed when you thank them or express your honest appreciation. You can detect that they are out of practice receiving appreciation. The sudden rush of “good chemicals” from their brains that are released when you feel appreciated makes them dizzy and tend to stun them.
I WILL TODAY EXPRESS MY APPRECIATION AS IF I HAVE AN ENDLESS STOCK OF IT IN THE STOREHOUSE OF MY MIND
If you want to exert serious influence on people, learn about the power of honest appreciation. Express and show your appreciation more often and see what enormous difference it can make in the lives of people. The rumour that has been around that appreciation cannot be experienced when you become older or when your hair turns grey is just an urban legend. You never grow too old, rich, or fat to enjoy appreciation. It is something that you obtain free of charge and that will not bankrupt you if you hand it out in generous proportions. You can freely use this powerful tool on parents, gardeners, strangers, and even intimate friends.
Invite people to tell you more about themselves, their hopes, their fears, and dreams. Show real interest in what they have to say. Learn to take the focus off your own needs, fears, and ego driven aspirations for a while. Most people are so ego driven that they find it very difficult to listen. Do not try and top every story they tell with one of your own that makes their achievement bleak in comparison. Send people “thank you “ notes. I have seen mothers treasure a thank you note for decades that a son or daughter wrote them in a moment of weakness. You also do not need to wait for special occasions to show your appreciation. A single flower or a one-minute phone call can often do more for a worn out mother or father than the medication he or she takes for his or her depression or insomnia. Become a strong source of influence today by giving your appreciation freely to everybody you meet. The amazing thing about giving appreciation and recognition is that it also makes you feel good and worthy.
There is a saying that ignorance is bliss. This might be true for some, but it is as far as I am concerned the root cause of most of our suffering, pain and anxiety. Accepting life, people, religion, politics, perceptions, choices, rules and laws at face value imprisoned the mind of mankind. Looking at anything in life from a single perspective is the lazy way out. Seeing and experiencing from a limited range of perspectives have shackled man almost since its inception. Primitive man could not read, write or decipher the range of threats that confronted them and were forced to turn to priests and other individuals for guidance. This disposition provided a wonderful opportunity for those that claimed that they understood to take over control of their followers minds. The initial flimsy net that these opportunists wove gradually grew stronger and more sophisticated.
You will later see how this initial ignorance created an ideal vehicle of enslavement for those in control. Mankind have been kept in a state of ignorance since the beginning of time by greedy power hungry individuals, groups and organizations. Primitive methods of pain, pleasure and hope were used to restrain the masses. Man experienced fleeting moments of pleasure while they blindly obeyed the “commands” of these controllers. Thousands of written laws, spiritual and otherwise came into being over the years. Those that remained subdued and subservient were praised and rewarded while anyone that questioned anything faced the intricate range of pain that these controllers could bring to bear on them. They were cruelly tortured in the dark ages when they questioned anything to do with religion or the state.
Mankind became the slaves of the controllers. They were carefully manipulated to let go of a fair percentage of their hard earned income. The state took their pound of flesh while the religious leaders demanded at least ten percent of all income earned as well. The system sucked in mankind to such an extent that only a handful of individuals over the years showed the courage to point out the deadly trap that we find ourselves in up to today. Do you grasp that the slaves of this system not only police the deadly system on behalf of the controllers, but breed the future slaves that will take over from them when they produce children? I can write a fairly substantial book on this subject matter, but believe that you can see what I am addressing in this document.
My plea is that everyone make it his or her business to get rid of the veil of ignorance that is responsible for most of their anxiety, pain and lack. You might have noticed that I post a very wide range of perceptions daily on an endless range of subjects. My motivation is that I want you to look at stuff from many different perspectives. Nothing is as it seems. I will continue to write on the endless range of methods used to keep us ignorant if I get a fairly acceptable responds on this post.
Happy people have an advantage over unhappy ones — they may be healthier and may live longer.
An extensive review of literature using seven types of evidence indicates that high subjective well-being (SWB), such as life satisfaction, optimism, and positive emotions, causes better health and longevity. The review, published in Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being (2011), examined 160 studies which showed compelling evidence that positive feelings predict health and longevity.
The findings of the review, based from seven types of evidence, are summarized below:
Longitudinal studies. These studies, which have large sample sizes and have followed participants for a decade or more, revealed that SWB was related to lower mortality rate in both healthy and diseased populations. Positive moods such as joy and happiness, life satisfaction, hopefulness, optimism, and a sense of humor were associated with reduced risk of mortality and predicted longevity.
Physiology and health. Moods and emotions are associated with biological markers such as blood pressure, cortisol, and inflammation. Studies found that pessimists have higher blood pressure levels. Anger and hostility were related not only to the development of cardiovascular disease, but also to disease progression and inflammation. Stress predicted lower levels of immune response; whereas, positive affect strengthened immunity. Positive affect was associated with greater social connectedness, perceived social support, and greater probability of performing healthy behaviors.
Experimental manipulations of emotions. In experimental studies, positive and negative moods are induced which are then measured. Research showed that participants exposed to positive mood induction had quicker cardiovascular recovery after a stressful task than subjects who were exposed to neutral and negative mood inductions. Studies also revealed that couples who were generally higher in hostility had slower wound healing than low hostile couples, as well as more tumor necrosis and a poorer immune response.
Animal studies. Animals are used in experimental research to obtain information about how certain positive and negative situations affect their health and longevity. Studies revealed that socially-stressed monkeys developed more extensive atherosclerosis than unstressed ones. Stress, threatening human behavior, and isolation suppressed the immune system of monkeys, chickens, and pigs. Pigs that learned a mastery task to obtain rewards, giving them some control over their environment, later showed quicker wound healing and carcass quality.
Quasi-experimental studies in natural settings. Studies in quasi-experimental studies suggest that events and disasters are associated with cardiovascular and immune changes. Disasters, bereavement, and observing exciting sports events can trigger cardiac deaths in vulnerable individuals. Further, people with work overload and worry showed higher cortisol response at awakening and on weekdays but not on weekends.
Interventions that influence SWB. Researchers found that transcendental meditation and progressive relaxation reduced blood pressure over a 3-month follow-up period, compared to a control group. People who wrote about intensely positive experiences had fewer health center visits for illness during the following 3 months, compared to people who wrote about a control topic. Patients who suffered from myocardial infarction, who received Type-A counseling (for Type A behavior) in addition to traditional cardiac counseling, were less likely to die within 5 years.
SW’s impact on quality of life and pain. Studies showed that positive emotions were related to lower pain and greater tolerance for pain. Patients suffering from fibromyalgia and rheumatoid arthritis reported less pain with positive mood induction while women reported less pain to heat stimuli when looking at photos of their partner.
In sum, these converging studies form a compelling proof that SWB, such as happiness, causally influences health and longevity.
My mood was cold, dark, and directionless. My tortured mind was filled with thoughts of missed opportunities and broken promises.
The cutting wind on my unshaven face made my eyes water and drove the dark clouds of depression into my shattered soul.
The years slipped by like fleeting dreams. Moments of joy and victory came and vanished like the waves of the ocean bashed on the black rocks of sadness.
I looked up and noticed the sheets of rain that endlessly poured its gift of life and growth in all directions.
A thought darted into my tired defeated mind. I suddenly noticed how nature shares her abundance with everyone and everything.
Mother Nature is not selective when she sends gifts of rain and sunshine to feed, nourish and rejuvenate everything with a smattering of life at their core.
These gifts of life are given to the seeds that are still sleeping in the soil. The dark scorched earth will soon put on a new coat of colour and in turn pass on these gifts of life to the bees, birds and everything else that waited patiently on Mother Nature to return as she has done since the beginning of time.
I suddenly understood that it is mankind’s inability to give unconditionally that is responsible for the inequality that drips off this planet like black wax from a candle.
Our homes are filled to the brim with stuff, but we want more, better, faster and the latest. Something inside us drives us like a hungry pack of wolves forward in our quest to feed our greedy ego.
There is no time for compassion in our busy lives. Poverty stares at us on every corner, but we are so obsessed with our own little world that we never notice that cold and hungry child on the corner of the street or a mother that worked her hands to the bone to serve us where we sit in our artificial castles sipping our wine of success.
The clouds of gloominess gradually lifted from my bowed shoulders. I knew what Mother Nature came to teach me in this dark night of my soul. She came to teach me about compassion and gratitude. She showed me that I must learn to give unconditionally and abundantly if I want to make a contribution to life on this planet.
I noticed that the sun began to break through the clouds announcing that the rain moved on to go and do some more teaching down the road. A rainbow suddenly appeared on the horizon. I slowly got up, wiped the water from my face, pushed back my shoulders with new hope in my heart against the backdrop of the singing of the birds that were thanking Mother Nature in advance for the new gifts that she will bring the next time she pays us a visit. She will like before pour her gifts on the rich and the poor, on those that have in abundance and those that have virtually nothing. She deposits her gifts on everyone regardless of their status, race or career and knows that a time will come when mankind has evolved enough to grasp that we are one and an extension of her.
THE SOFTWARE THAT CONTROLS EVERYTHING YOU DO AND THINK!
ACCORDING TO YOUR EGO, HAPPINESS MUST ALWAYS INVOLVE A PAY POLICY, A PLAN, SOME JUSTIFICATION, HARD WORK AND STRUGGLE. THE EGO IS ALL THAT STANDS BETWEEN YOU AND HAPPINESS, LOVE, PEACE OF MIND AND INSPIRATION!
THE SYSTEM THAT CONTROLS YOUR DESTINY: Your ego is the sum total of all your small ideas you hold about yourself. Your ego and the perceptions you have of yourself will regulate every thought or action in your life. The ego has never been photographed or x-rayed. No autopsy ever revealed this powerful control system called the ego. You can search the web right now and see if you can find a photo or illustration of the ego anywhere.
The ego is nothing more that a collection of ideas that you have of yourself. Your ego creates the impression that you separate from everything that you see around you. This mechanism is the software that you run your life on. All your actions and decisions that you make stem from this source. When you look at most modern appliances and motor vehicles you will discover that most of them have “computers” that that regulates and controls the overall performance of such appliances. Instructions are programmed into these “micro chips” that direct and control all the functions of these devices. These instructions are called the software.
Our egos are nothing more than our collective perceptions that we have of ourselves that are programmed into our subconscious minds. We act and react as if all these perceptions are true and allow our egos to run us in the same way that a cheap microchip controls your toaster in the kitchen. It is vitally important to understand that your ego and your real self are two separate systems.
You real self is perfect and connected to everything in the universe while you ego is the programmed perceptions that are predominantly false, outdated and warped. You ego software wants you to feel isolated and separated from everything else. We have in previous thoughts studied the motives and intensions of the programmers that played a vital role in the preparation of this software.
The impression was created that everything that could possibly be fun, productive or happiness generating is outside your reach. Most people search for happiness and contentment for the best part of their lives. These people are too afraid to challenge the programmers and must thus labour under this misconception for the rest of their lives.
If you were programmed to feel unworthy, unlovable and not good enough you will continue to strive and search for acceptance that might never come. This clever move to remove happiness from you and convince you that you must constantly qualify for happiness has been at the bottom of most of your pain and fear.
The illusion that you are a separate entity and that you must go from where you “are” to where you “want to be” have caused indescribable pain and suffering for many people. They searched and strived their hearts out and still found that happiness remained just out of their reach. They bought the bullshit of separation and continue to run like hell like a rat on a treadmill in an attempt to catch happiness, success and peace of mind.
They prayed and hope that someone or something will one day hand them what they are yearning for. Everything that we do is focused on generating feelings of happiness. We hope that money, friendships or status will bring us this feeling of happiness. We all achieve moments of happiness, but soon discover that it is temporary and that it slips away from us like a peace of wet soap on a tile floor.
The illusion that we must qualify and strive puts us under constant pressure all the time. We believe the software that states that we are removed from happiness and as such never feel that we are worthy to just be happy without paying some kind of price.
Your ego programmed with your perceptions of yourself puts you through hell on earth. You are always on the back foot and feel that success; love and happiness might be hiding around the next corner or in another city or relationship. You might find this difficult to accept, but you are already “there” and may enjoy the “now” without buying a ticket or paying any price. You can only appreciate this permission if you understand that the “now” in its imperfect state is better than the illusion of potential happiness that you hope you will feel when you arrive at your selected destination.
The expectation of potential happiness that you will enjoy when you arrive at your destination will never really materialise. You will continue to run on the treadmill of life after these illusive dreams until the day you die. The fleeting moments of happiness when you achieve small objectives cannot be compared to the ongoing happiness that you can experience when you appreciate what you already have. If you do not own a three-story house with a wonderful view right now you can still fully enjoy where you live right now until you one day achieve this objective.
There is no need to postpone your happiness.
This happiness shift requires of you to sterilise your ego. To get rid of the perception that you are unworthy and that you must first qualify or achieve something before you can be happy.
You are already perfect and will remain perfect notwithstanding the defective software of your ego. You have the right to enjoy life one moment at a time notwithstanding your current station in life. You will achieve all your gaols and objectives if you become patient and allow time to pass. You are not the new vehicle, your job title, your sins and the house that you live in.
You are not the warped perceptions that you have been conditioned to believe since the day of your birth. These perceptions want you to fight, strive, grovel and suffer in your endless pursuit of something that you already have and own.
1. A child reared without clear boundaries has little chance of success. Limits are necessary to give purpose, direction and structure to life. The fool swims in a boundless sea of opportunity and finally drowns because of his failure to latch onto a specific purpose. He tries to own the sea while the wise man selects a single purpose (opportunity/goal) and then pursue it with all his heart. The wise man understands the power of commitment and focused thought and is well rewarded.
2. A defeated person becomes indifferent about his fate. He finally stops feeling ashamed or sorry. He stops resisting and fighting to reclaim his dignity. The wise is very aware that passive behaviour could make him act like a dog with a broken spirit. Our parks are filled with defeated individuals that tragically accepted their fate in life.
3. A desperate or worried person displays the tendency to cling to anything or anyone that displays even slight compassion. A true warrior understands that this behaviour will eventually exhaust the person that he clings to. A champion never makes panic decisions or choices. He lives in the moment and knows that his winter season will pass like so many times before and make way for a brand new summer.
4. A few moments of indiscretion could become a burden that you might haunt you for the rest of your life. The need for instant gratification is usually at the root of most of our less spectacular choices. Any choice that we make can be compared to the pull of a trigger on a gun. Once the bullet leaves the barrel it cannot be recalled.
5. A good friend is like a good investment. To make good longterm friends be a friend. Friends become a shield in troubled times. Friendship is not a one-sided deal. There are people that claim that they are your friends, but they are often just stranger exploiting you. Several of the friends you make during your lifetime will stick a knife in your back the first time your friendship is really tested.
6. A grievance poisons your mind and chains you to the past. It leaves you bitter and twisted. Everyday of your life you chose between grievances and freedom. You must make up your mind if you want “pain” or “joy” or the “old” or the “new”. When you choose to go for freedom then learning the art of letting go becomes a top priority. When you have mastered the art of letting go of your history you begin to predominantly live in the now.
7. A man that cannot find enough compassion in his heart to forgive is a fool. We all make mistakes, but the fool continues trying to convince everybody that he is flawless. When you master the art of forgiveness you enter a safe harbour and gain peace of mind.
8. A man that is mature, fair and respectable is worth more than precious jewellery. Everybody respects maturity and predictability. Wisdom only comes to those that are slow to anger and careful in their judgement.
9. A man that lacks self-esteem needs titles and certificates to justify his position in life. A man at peace with who he is does not need the constant blessing or praise of others. Never allow a person’s title or position to intimidate or dominate you. See yourself on equal footing with others. Do not allow a person to intimidate you with his pedigree or current superior vantage point.
10. A man with willpower always has the best chance of coming out on top. The main reason why people fail is not because they do not have the skills and know-how, but because they lack the willpower. A person without willpower and determination always ends up the slave of those that do.
Rene
(from my book – PORTABLE LIFE SKILLS WISDOM GUIDE)
This grandfather of all people-skills books was first published in 1937. It was an overnight hit, eventually selling 15 million copies. How to Win Friends and Influence People is just as useful today as it was when it was first published, because Dale Carnegie had an understanding of human nature that will never be outdated. Financial success, Carnegie believed, is due 15 percent to professional knowledge and 85 percent to “the ability to express ideas, to assume leadership, and to arouse enthusiasm among people.” He teaches these skills through underlying principles of dealing with people so that they feel important and appreciated. He also emphasizes fundamental techniques for handling people without making them feel manipulated. Carnegie says you can make someone want to do what you want them to by seeing the situation from the other person’s point of view and “arousing in the other person an eager want.” You learn how to make people like you, win people over to your way of thinking, and change people without causing offence or arousing resentment. For instance, “let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers,” and “talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.” Carnegie illustrates his points with anecdotes of historical figures, leaders of the business world, and everyday folks.
The first self-help book I ever read was “How to win friends and influence people” by Dale Carnegie. I just finished school and was looking for an inspirational book in a tiny, poorly stocked book store in Windhoek in Namibia. I came across Dale Carnegie’s book in the scant selection of books on a shelf right at the back of this dusty store. I unashamedly admit today that although this was the first “motivational” book that I ever owned when it still remains one of the top ten books I ever read when it came to practical advice regarding people skills. Many of you might have read the book or still have a copy on a shelf in your library. I would suggest that you read it again. It will refresh your memory on one of the most important principles when it comes to compassion. It will remind you that you can make more progress in all areas of your life if you develop a sincere interest in others. Dale indicates in this book that you can make more friends in two months by developing an awareness of the interests of others than you could achieve in two years using any other method.
We live in small boxes today surrounded by massive walls to keep intruders out that might dare to enter our comfort zones. We shout at each other over these walls and only on very rare occasions lower our draw bridge and venture out or invite anyone into our domain. Most of us go around with our defence shield up and remain on guard twenty four hours a day. The political climate that we live and work in might also have something to do with this unhealthy behaviour. We need to open up and become more vulnerable if we want to escape the deadly ruts that many of us fell in over the years. Some of us feel lonely and need friends, companionship and fun, but we often forgo on these desires because of our fears and warped self-interest. Everything revolves around us and our own dreams, desires and choices. We look at life, people and places through a self-interest one way mirrors. Our interests always come first and the interests of others never really feature at all. We have this “What is in it for me” attitudes that fail to address the needs of anyone else.
When last did you manage to get yourself out of the way long enough to listen and experience any human being, family member or friend with an open mind? Many of us developed a sick habit of judging everyone. We endlessly scan people for flaws or potential threats. We fail to listen to them when they talk. We listen to the first few words of their sentences and then jump to conclusions. We look at people through eyes that fail to see the pain or desperation in them. We listen to what people say and fail to read the subliminal call for help that they are possibly to proud or ashamed to express. Do we care enough to really hear what our partner or children are telling us? Are we alert enough to feel the emotions of the person that we are communicating with? I think we all of us might have some work to do when it comes to mastering the art of putting the interest of others first.
When last did you compliment anyone on anything? We as parents tend to only give attention to our children when they are sick or when they did something wrong. We as partners only become interested enough when our relationships begin to fall apart. We fail to notice the cracks and peeling paint in our relationships. We are so busy with our own agendas, self-interests and objectives that the pain and frustration experienced by our partner bounces off our egotistical shield. Can you see what major difference a shift in attention can make in your life? Can you accept that life is not only about you and your plans and goals? Can you understand that the formula for success is that your success if virtually guaranteed if you help enough other people to achieve their own goals and dreams?
So I suggest that you shut up the next time anyone talk to you and listen carefully what is said and what is not expressed verbally. God supplied you with two ears and one mouth. You must listen more and talk less. Put yourself in others’ shoes and ask yourself if you really know the story of the person that you are talking to. Stop jumping to conclusions and stop judging people on hearsay and second hand data. Stop forcing people to communicate to you through their history. Start each day with a new clean slate. We have so many prejudices and perceptions about everything that is cast in stone that it became impossible to see thing as they are in the moment. Set yourself free by putting the interest of others first for a while.
ONLY WHEN YOU HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THE CONTROL AND SILLY GAMES WILL YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THIS BOOK IS ALL ABOUT!
The mechanical matrix of post modern consumer society, built by ordinary men and women, is a reality that is indeed a snare, serving only to isolate its inhabitants from a truer, wider, and richer interpretation in which all things are interwoven and cooperative. The matrix we live in, and which we uphold with each and every one of our thoughts (though as we shall see, these thoughts are not our own), is a world built blindly, through fear and rationality, a prison pervaded by misery, hostility, confusion, resentment, and despair. It ain’t no playground. And if it’s a game, then it’s one which few of us ever get to enjoy playing, perhaps because no one ever told us the rules.
Most of us sooner or later discover that we have two forces that course through our veins. We automatically vacillate between the “upper” and “lower” limits of this force on a moment to moment basis. The UPPER end of the pole of this system is called the “ACTION” zone and the “LOWEST” end of this pole is characterized as the “NON-ACTION” zone. The feelings generated by thoughts, events or for that matter everything and everyone we encounter decides the quality of the output we intend using to deal with the matter at hand. The mistake we make is that many of us think that we are at the mercy of this so-called automatic reaction patterns that endlessly flood our minds and hearts daily. We jump with joy and run like the wind when good feelings are generated by the thought or event that we are confronted with (ACTION) or shut down and retreat into a dark place in our minds (NON-ACTION). What many of us never knew or understood is that there is no need to remain a victim of our historical conditioning or past mistakes. All that is real and valid is our current moment. We can if we decide to take control act in an appropriate and powerful manner notwithstanding the threat and feelings of doubt that we might be confronted with. You are part of a universal force that caters for evolution on a moment to moment basis. Call this force God my friend if it will make you feel more comfortable. This force is fair and allows every living thing in the universe to evolve, grow and expand notwithstanding his or her history. You can make a fresh start on a moment to moment basis. You are allocated 86400 new moments in any given day where you can make a fresh start. There is no need to fear failure or hide in the “NON-ACTION” zone. The NON-ACTION zone is a place where you become stagnant and RESIST risking the possibility of getting hurt or disappointed. The choices you make decide the quality of the outcomes you experience daily. Very few of us understand that not making a choice is actually also a choice that you make. You choose NON-ACTION and RESISTANCE and give up control.
Spend some time today to probe why you have this reluctance to take action. What is the cause of the resistance deep inside you that is preventing you from being the best you that you can ever be? Now make a list of all the things you will do if you knew that you cannot fail. Make a list of everything that comes to mind. Think it and then ink it. I will continue this series tomorrow.
As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”
Nothing could be closer to the truth. But before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back.
Here are some ideas to get you started:
1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
2. Stop running from your problems. Face them head on. No, it won’t be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that’s the whole purpose of living to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
3. Stop lying to yourself. You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves. Read The Road Less Traveled.
4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner.The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
9. Stop trying to buy happiness. Many of the things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free love, laughter and working on our passions.
10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness.If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else. Read Stumbling on Happiness.
11. Stop being idle. Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place. Evaluate situations and take decisive action. You cannot change what you refuse to confront. Making progress involves risk. Period! You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. Relationships must be chosen wisely. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else.Don’t worry about what others doing better than you. Concentrate on beating your own records every day. Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
16. Stop being jealous of others. Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own. Ask yourself this: “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you. You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough. But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past. You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation. So smile! Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
18. Stop holding grudges. Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself! And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too. If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level.Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others.Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway. Just do what you know in your heart is right.
21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments.Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
23. Stop trying to make things perfect. The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done. Read Getting Things Done.
24. Stop following the path of least resistance. Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don’t take the easy way out. Do something extraordinary.
25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either cry if you need to it’s healthy to shed your tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility you give others power over that part of your life.
27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out. But making one person smile CAN change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. So narrow your focus.
28. Stop worrying so much. Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time? Three years? Five years?” If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
30. Stop being ungrateful. No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.
What I am going to reveal to you today will change your life if you grasp how the “system” turned you into a “slave”. I have been writing and lecturing on motivation, manifestation and goal setting etc. for many years. I wrote several books that address many of the aspects mentioned above. I spoke boldly to an endless number of audiences and became a “mind dynamics” instructor at a very young age. Something that bothered me was that I noticed that the audience’s “enthusiasm” bubble always gradually deflated soon after such lectures. Virtually none of the tools that I offered my inspired audience was used for any extensive period. I could motivate an audience to such an extent that I often found individuals left my lectures early to go and attend to something that he/she procrastinated on for years. I later soothed my conscience and viewed my “work” on the same level of an entertainer. I entertained my audience for a while and at the end of the evening left with a substantial cheque in my pocket. It slowly dawned on me that something was blocking the ability of my students to sustain the spark that I provided during my training and my lectures. It would appear as if I woke up a large percentage of my audience with my lectures. I penetrated some kind of veil that enveloped their ability to think outside the box. It would appear as if a barrier lifted for a while only to gradually sink back and shut off their good intentions.
Most people have a sheep “I am a victim” mentality
We have been programmed since early childhood to “follow”. Our parents began the process and “domesticated” us to do what they deemed is right and acceptable. Gradually more and more parental figures entered our lives and reinforced the “follower” mode of thinking. We were conditioned that “following” is respectable, rewarding, morally the right thing to do. Look around you today and you will be surprised how many “controllers” still play a massive role in your life. The work started by our parents was soon expanded on by teachers, ministers, the state, employers, lovers, partners, the media etc. All of them still influence every decision we make. We always first filter every situation, challenge, opportunity, problem or project through the “filter system” that they carefully installed into our brains. Spontaneous actions and reactions hardly ever form part of our life pattern. We might think that we have “free will” but we soon discover that the deduction we made is nothing more than an illusion.
Our subconscious mind
Our subconscious mind contains all the events that we have been exposed to since our arrival on this plane. The subconscious mind is a very fancy filing system that can recall all the feelings, emotions and images that formed part of our encounters in life. Any of these “data” packages can be recalled when “triggered” by our thoughts or any of our five senses. Most of us automatically and spontaneously react and respond with the same reaction patterns recorded historically. It must be kept in mind that the data (reaction patterns) have been “uploaded” by the parental figures as explained earlier. We thus endlessly repeat the same patterns when confronted with choices and decisions. Our subconscious minds do not validate or evaluate the historical perceptions or belief systems, but simply pass it on to our conscious minds as “truth”.
Our conscious mind
Our conscious mind should preferably compare the current set of circumstances that we are faced with, with the reality of the current moment before any action is taken. We unfortunately have been browbeaten into robot like creatures that simply react or act according to the historical thoughts and feelings that we experienced when faced historically with a similar set of circumstances. We are so afraid of potential pain or loss that very few of us dare to question our historical perceptions. This is the reason why I noted earlier that most of us do not really apply free will when faced with choices. It is sad to think that we became slaves to our perceptions and belief systems. Very few of us apply “will power” in all our day-to-day activities. A good question at this stage might be, “Why on earth do we neglect this powerful system?” The reason might surprise you.
We try to avoid pain, loss, rejection and abandonment.
We are so afraid to act outside the framework that we have been indoctrinated with that we rather do our “repeat performances” while at work or play. We mentally run away from any decision that might bring on feelings of fear, pain, unpredictability, loss and anxiety. We will rather remain the puppet of our subconscious mind and serve the agendas of those that initially uploaded our original “software” than go outside the box. My friend this is how we travel from the cradle to the grave in a hypnotic daze. The time has come for us to take our willpower back and experience real growth. This is easier set than done while we go around with our “victim” mentality. Many of us go around crying over spilled milk. We allow the daily events that we are confronted with to decide our fate and future. We enter a new growth phase when we begin to apply our God given willpower in our lives. This leap of faith is only possible when we start accepting responsibility for all our actions and choices.
Accepting responsibility
Many of us immediately look for something or someone to blame when things go wrong in our lives. We blame God, the weather, history, the current financial depression or recession for things that failed to work out as expected. Nothing is going to change until you accept that you were and still are responsible for everything in your life. You possibly made poor choices and now sit with certain uncomfortable outcomes. You will feel a rush of fresh energy in your system when you take responsibility for whatever transpired. You will feel invigorated when you admit your mistakes and take sustained action to rectify what transpired. Let the fear, doubt or anxiety wash over you. Become like a rock that withstands the onslaughts of the endless waves of the ocean. Stop thinking and acting like a victim. Stop blaming the world for your poor choices or for that matter anything that failed to turn out as you expected. Learn that life is not fair and that things often fail to work out the way you anticipated. This mode of thinking drains your energy and suck out your desire to win and overcome. When you begin to flex your willpower muscles, you become strong and fearless. You do not wait for things to happen. You make them happen. You begin to replace the old and often defective software that historically enslaved you. Nobody will be able to intimidate or dominate you. Try as they may they will no longer trigger old and outdated fear reactions in your heart and mind.
The key to a powerful willpower
The key is so simple that many of you might not even try my recommendations. The key is to PAUSE before you take action or react on anything. By pausing, you prevent the old and outdated habitual reaction patterns to run their course. Do not do the first thing that comes to mind. You might ask, “How will I know that I am on the verge of slipping back into the victim mode again?” A quick scan of the emotions that you experience will confirm that you are on the verge of victimhood again. You are back in victim mode when you experience doubt, fear, worry and anxiety. Your guide is always the feelings that you experience. You are in control when you experience good, pleasant, inspirational feelings. Your subconscious “automatic” reaction patterns are in control when you experience fear, anxiety, doubt, anger or any other negative and destructive feeling. The key is to PAUSE the moment you experience any negative feelings.
Ask the following questions. (Write down your answers)
Who is currently in control, my sub-conscious mind (historical reaction patterns) or my conscious mind (willpower)?
Am I at this moment in time mentally past (sub-conscious mind) focused or am I evaluating the current moment on its own merit (conscious mind, will power) focused in the now?
Who am I blaming for my current misfortune? (Someone or something else)
Am I busy flooding my mind with negative and destructive (sub-conscious mind) fears based on my historical perceptions or belief system?
What will happen if I decide to PAUSE for a moment and take no action?
What will happen if I do the first thing that comes to mind?
What is the quality of the conversations that I have with myself at this moment? (Negative – sub-conscious mind based or positive – reality based)
What will happen if I accept responsibility and start working on ways to remedy, repair, adjust or overcome the current problem?
What will happen if I stop listening to people that go around like prophets of doom? (Friends, family, media, TV,)
What is the worst that can happen if I apply willpower and move forward in a bold and constructive manner?
What is the worst thing that can happen if I make a fresh start right now and put whatever happened behind me? (Live in the past with a victim mentality – sub-conscious mind running the show)
Replacing old and outdated reaction patterns
The easy and most effective way to replace old and outdated reaction patterns is to sit back, close your eyes for a moment and relax.
See in your mind’s eye how your current victim mentality is stripping you of your dignity and creativity. Feel the negative and destructive feelings that are currently causing you discomfort.
Ask yourself – how is your current defeatist mentality making things better or solving your current problem?
Focus on these feelings and negative emotions for a few minutes and then mentally or verbally (if possible) firmly say, “PAUSE”. Do this with a commanding voice. Repeat this PAUSE instruction a few times if necessary.
Take a few deep breaths and then do the following.
Begin to visualise how you start acting in a decisive and goal directed manner. Feel how strong and in control you feel while your problems and obstacles dissolve like melting butter. Experience how your willpower kicks in and how it blows away all your feelings of fear and doubt. See how you take sustained action until the problem is solved or the project is completed.
You will be astounded how this short and dynamic exercise will produce outcomes that exceed all your expectations. Your new and decisive way of thinking and acting will sweep away barriers and hand you control of situations where you would have failed historically.
I am wishing you well and know that the above new way of thinking will make a massive difference in all areas of your life.
1. A child reared without clear boundaries has little chance of success. Limits are necessary to give purpose, direction and structure to life. The fool swims in a boundless sea of opportunity and finally drowns because of his failure to latch onto a specific purpose. He tries to own the sea while the wise man selects a single purpose (opportunity/goal) and then pursue it with all his heart. The wise man understands the power of commitment and focused thought and is well rewarded.
2. A defeated person becomes indifferent about his fate. He finally stops feeling ashamed or sorry. He stops resisting and fighting to reclaim his dignity. The wise is very aware that passive behaviour could make him act like a dog with a broken spirit. Our parks are filled with defeated individuals that tragically accepted their fate in life.
3. A desperate or worried person displays the tendency to cling to anything or anyone that displays even slight compassion. A true warrior understands that this behaviour will eventually exhaust the person that he clings to. A champion never makes panic decisions or choices. He lives in the moment and knows that his winter season will pass like so many times before and make way for a brand new summer.
4. A few moments of indiscretion could become a burden that you might haunt you for the rest of your life. The need for instant gratification is usually at the root of most of our less spectacular choices. Any choice that we make can be compared to the pull of a trigger on a gun. Once the bullet leaves the barrel it cannot be recalled.
5. A good friend is like a good investment. To make good longterm friends be a friend. Friends become a shield in troubled times. Friendship is not a one-sided deal. There are people that claim that they are your friends, but they are often just stranger exploiting you. Several of the friends you make during your lifetime will stick a knife in your back the first time your friendship is really tested.
6. A grievance poisons your mind and chains you to the past. It leaves you bitter and twisted. Everyday of your life you chose between grievances and freedom. You must make up your mind if you want “pain” or “joy” or the “old” or the “new”. When you choose to go for freedom then learning the art of letting go becomes a top priority. When you have mastered the art of letting go of your history you begin to predominantly live in the now.
7. A man that cannot find enough compassion in his heart to forgive is a fool. We all make mistakes, but the fool continues trying to convince everybody that he is flawless. When you master the art of forgiveness you enter a safe harbour and gain peace of mind.
8. A man that is mature, fair and respectable is worth more than precious jewellery. Everybody respects maturity and predictability. Wisdom only comes to those that are slow to anger and careful in their judgement.
9. A man that lacks self-esteem needs titles and certificates to justify his position in life. A man at peace with who he is does not need the constant blessing or praise of others. Never allow a person’s title or position to intimidate or dominate you. See yourself on equal footing with others. Do not allow a person to intimidate you with his pedigree or current superior vantage point.
10. A man with willpower always has the best chance of coming out on top. The main reason why people fail is not because they do not have the skills and know-how, but because they lack the willpower. A person without willpower and determination always ends up the slave of those that do.
The fool is under the impression that he can change people. People often change for a relative short period not because they see the error of their ways, but because it seems like a good strategic move to make to achieve a desire objective. The chances of a rotten person making a permanent change are less than a million to one. Accept a person without his history or take note of his history and run for the hills. Getting married will not make him stop drinking, flirting, fighting and will also not make him more caring or responsible. Having a baby will not make him more responsible and caring. Constantly giving someone money will not make him more productive. Punishing him for years will not prevent him from doing it again. Sulking for a day, week or month will not change his mind and heart. We live in a something for nothing world today. Doing as little as you can get away with seems to be a top priority. Using guilt or fear will not change anyone that lacks compassion and empathy. See things as they are my friend.
The rain of forgiveness wash away the hurt and pain of yesteryear. No healing can take place while you cling to your historical letdowns and painful experiences of the past. Great purity of thinking and the miraculous healing of wounds usually take place after unconditional forgiveness. Remember that forgiveness does not mean that you approve what was done to you. The act of forgiveness release the person that “sinned” against you from your mind. The lack of the ability to forgive and detach prevent you from moving on. You get stuck in what could or should have been. Wonderful opportunities will pass you by if you live in the past. The train of life is constantly moving forward. You are either on the train (in the now) or stuck on a station hoping that things can return to what could or should have been. The ability to let go of toxic thoughts, events, failures or broken promises with set your mind free. All you have is this very moment. What could or should have been is nothing more than “files” that you recall from your sub-conscious mind. You are the one that supply the past with the power to contaminate your current moment. Yesterdays failures will remain powerless files in your mind if you stop recharging its batteries with your thoughts and regrets.
Seeking the approval of others is definitely the royal road to unhappiness.
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Being loving and kind
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Oh but you say, you want to be loving and kind. Well what does that mean? Does being loving and kind mean being a doormat? Does being loving and kind mean choosing to please others instead of doing what you think is right and taking care of yourself? Does being loving and kind mean sacrificing your own integrity and agreeing with things or people when you know it’s wrong or when it doesn’t feel right to you? Does it mean being afraid to ask for the time to consider things when you’re not sure of what you feel? Does it mean you can’t follow your own intuition just because someone else says something different?
Being loving and kind is one of those wonderful stories we tell ourselves to confuse ourselves and to block honest communications with ourselves and with others. And who’s to say if being clear and honest and communicating openly is not the most loving and kind thing we can possibly do in every situation!
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Being afraid of disagreement
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Another great barrier to clear and honest communication is the belief that people ‘should’ agree with each other. The thought that people ‘should’ agree with each other might be a nice idea, but in the real world, people just don’t agree with each other. And they never have. Once again, we’re not talking about right or wrong, we’re just talking about the way things are. We’re talking about reality. And as we know, when we argue with reality, we end up making ourselves miserable. So when it comes to disagreeing, the reality is that people do disagree with each other. People have different ideas and opinions about almost everything. People have different preferences about how to do things. And they have different goals, dreams, hopes, wishes, likes and dislikes. That’s just the way it is. Different things interest different people. Some people love snowstorms while others love the heat. Some people think the ultimate joy is traveling to a crowded city for a busy weekend of shopping and dining out while others think the ultimate joy is retreating to a quiet spot in nature or going to a meditation center. That’s just the way of it. Wanting people to agree is setting yourself up for heartache and failure because it’s never going to happen.
So why are we so afraid of disagreement? Why do we want the impossible? Usually it’s because we want people to like, love and approve of us. I think part of the fear of disagreement can be found in the fact that we link agreement and approval with people liking or loving us. We think that if we love someone we ‘should’ agree with him or her. And we think that if he/she really loves us, they ‘should’ agree with us. But is that true? Think of all the people you really do love. How many of them do you agree with and how many of them agree with you? Of course if your definition of love is “you agree with me and I agree with you” well then you’re really in for trouble!
Barbara Berger
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From her new book Are you happy now?
Read more about this amazing book at the link below!
We sometimes feel like a swimmer in trouble a long way
from the safety of the beach. We have no idea where the
currents are taking us. We feel dwarfed by the immense ocean
that seems to go on forever. We see water wherever we look.
We feel the powerful churn of the awesome power under us.
We panic and try to make our way back to the beach, but soon
realise that we are not really making any progress. We start
panicking and try even harder, but to no avail. It suddenly
dawns on us that we will surly die if we continue to fight the
ocean.
The ocean will allow us to disperse all our energy. It will then
swallow us and later spit us out on some lonely beach a long
way down the coast. The only way we can buy time when in a
situation like this is to relax and to go with the flow. There is
absolutely no benefit in fighting a problem that is currently
out of control or too daunting to handle. There is a time to
fight and a time to just bide your time. It will make sense if
you swim to the best of your ability to reach the beach if you
are strong or fit enough, but it will be foolish to try and fight
the waves if you have absolutely no chance of winning.
Most of our problems, yes even the ones that seem extremely
daunting have a way of working itself out in the end. Most of
us have been faced with a wide range of problems, some of
them quite serious that today are nothing more than faded
memories. The biggest mistake we make when faced with a
problem is to immediately jump in and try to make it go away.
We say or do the first thing that comes to mind. We must not
fight problems. The best way to cope with problems is to
gather as much information as we can before we take action.
We are only escalating a problem to crisis proportions when
we panic and attempt to fight our way out of a trouble zone.
Relax, gather information and then do what you can, one
moment at a time. It is sometimes better to do nothing until
you have the strength, resources or finances to cope with
what you are faced with. Panic feed a problem while relaxed
action in turn become like the steering mechanism of a boat.
You can steer your way out of virtually any trouble during the
stormy period on the sea of life if you remain composed and
continue to think things through before you take action.
We are under the impression that specific things or people
can and should contribute to our needs and preferences. We
become depressed and unhappy if any of the things or people
that we deem attached to us let us down or fail to meet our
expectations. We only discover the intricate and inclusive
web we weaved since early childhood when we notice how
invisible and subliminal cables bind us to thousands of
objects and preferences. We in a way think we own these
objects and suffer separation anxiety when even a single item
is disconnected from us. Most of us suffer with fear of loss
and rejection. We absorb serious abused from those that we
think we are attached to. We tolerate the pain they inflict
because we are afraid that they might let go of us if we show
our disdain with their actions. A partner, child or lover can
cause us unwanted discomfort if they threaten to let go of us
or indicate that they want to be released from our comfort
zone. It is our attachment that makes us extremely vulnerable.
We do not only develop this invisible bond with people. We
allow furniture, books, a house or even an old coat to own us.
Attachment seems to indicate ownership to most of us. We
thus allow a wide range of people and things to own us and to
decide our moods and perceived security. Buddha taught his
students the powerful law of detachment. He indicated that we
can never achieve spiritual freedom while we allow anything
or anyone to own us. His advice is to let go of the false notion
that our lives will grind to a halt if we let go of the false
perception that it is what we own that sustain who we are. We
are not what we own, the car we drive or the house we live in.
We are not our money or titles. All these labels sustain our
egos and have nothing to do with the perfect self at our core.
God needs nothing from nobody. The same holds true with
our perfect selves. We are an extension of God and not our
physical bodies and the things that we accumulate around us
during visits to this dimension. Learn to detach and you will
change your life overnight. Let go of your anger, fear of loss
or desire to be respected and loved. These desires are snacks
for your ego and have absolutely nothing to do with the
reason for your current or future visits to this plane. Become
still and mentally see how you cut the endless number of
cords that currently bind you to things and people in the
matrix. You will discover real freedom when you are no longer
influenced and manipulated by the false perception of
ownership. It is our clinging to people and stuff that give them
power over us. Detach from what people say or do, detach
from the negative messages in the newspapers and media.
You can never fly with the eagles while you strut around like a
chicken in a pen with your head in the sand.
We spend years trying to work out the mysteries of life. We
want to know who we are, where we come from and what we
are doing in this dimension. We want to know why people do
certain things or why they failed to do as we expect they
would. We want to know what tomorrow, next week or next
year will confront us with. We want to know all there is to
know about God, his plans for us or what will happen to us
when we die. We want to understand why we get tired or feel
ill. Most of us have been asking “why” questions from early
childhood. We read thousands of books in an attempt to
understand what life is all about. The more we read the deeper
we need to delve into the subject matter. There is no book
that can provide all the answers. The problem with books or
lectures is that they leave us with more questions than
answers.
We begin to feel like a person that is trying to dig a hole in the
sand. Every bucket of sand that he takes out results in two
buckets that slide back into the hole. Those that developed
the historical God concepts pulled a serious stunt on us. They
created so many laws, rules, expectations and regulations
that they claim God expect of us that they left us in a no win
situation. Nobody could since the first man appeared on this
plane sustain God’s requirements that he apparently
personally dictated to the early so-called inspired authors. It
was our inability to meet the expectations of these man made
Gods that forced mankind to cling to religion and those that
claimed that they have direct access to God. We became
these mediators’ slaves and financiers. We ate out of their
hands and jump to their commands. It is impossible to get
closure on our endless range of “why” questions.
Each question answered will just dig up new ones that need
to be answered. It becomes a vicious never ending cycle. We
spend the best part of our life in a state of ignorance. We will
never know why people that we love and trust let us down or
stick a knife in our backs. We will never know why individuals
act and react the way they do. We will live longer and become
much happier if we stop trying to dig up answers to the many
mysteries of life and why people say or do certain things.
This is why I recommend that you live your life one moment at
a time and give each moment your best shot. Live as if there
is no tomorrow, as if this will be your last day. Be bold and
know that you can cope with anything that life can throw at
you tomorrow, next week and five years from now. Stop
asking “why” questions. Learn to mentally dump your “why”
question in a mental bin if you do not have a satisfactory
answer in sixty seconds. We are like a dog that tries to catch
a bus with “why” painted in big bold letters on its side. Our
problem is that even if we are fortunate enough to catch this
bus now and then we have no idea what to do with it once we
caught it. Your perfect self know all the answers. It is your
ego or false self that becomes frantic and petrified about the
unknown.
We have ongoing input from our five senses. We are exposed
to millions of stimuli every hour. We have a reticular
activation system in our brains that are programmed to
immediately bring any input to our attention if it might pose a
threat to us at any time. Anything that we see, hear, taste, or
smell that might have caused us discomfort, loss or pain in
the past or that could cause us loss, pain or discomfort in the
future is immediately brought to our attention. This is a good
system because it warns us of pending danger.
Our problem is that something went wrong with our system
that validates incoming data. The holes in the filter became so
clogged up that it hardly let anything through. Many of us can
see danger or possible disaster in virtually anything.
Thoughts that pose no problem simply flow through our filter
system and have little or no impact on us. It is the thoughts
that are captured in our potential threat filter system that we
feel compelled to deal with. The mistake that we then make is
that we begin to construct mental movies about the perceived
threat in our heads. We mentally see, feel, smell, hear and
taste the negative outcomes that we write into these scripts.
We are not satisfied with one show in the theatre of our
minds. We replay these movies many times and experience
the possible painful negative outcomes a million times. We
wear ourselves out while we work through these illusions in
our heads. We find it difficult to sleep, eat or do our work
because of these horror movies. We end up with health
problems and in the process destroy our relationships as
well. We take the residue that got trapped in our mental filter
system and make it into a monster that haunts us day and
night. We will be safer and saner if we remove the filters in
our heads. The original purpose of these filters was to protect
us against physical threats. We knew that if our filter detected
a hungry dinosaur that it will be a smart idea to put as much
distance as possible between him and us in the shortest
period of time.
We must however now begin to understand that we live in a
different time under different circumstances. I promise you
that you can allow most of the stuff that are today trapped in
your filter system through. It will not harm you and become a
faded memory in an hour or two. We must allow the endless
stream of thoughts to simply flow through our reticular
activation system. Do not block them. Let them slide through
and join the billions that came before them on the garbage
heap in your past. Keep this in mind the next time you feel
sad, overloaded, trapped, anxious, worried, let down, defeated
or angry. Let these thoughts slide by. Do not energise them.
They have no power until you plug in the power with your
thinking. Your perfect self can and will assist you when you
are faced with a real threat. Do not allow your ego to take up
so much of your time. Your ego needs answers and
protection because it is a coward. Your ego want answers to
his “why” questions. Your perfect self is positive and know
that it can handle anything that anybody or life can throw at
you.
Everyday you make a thousand choices. You choose what to wear, where to go, who to meet, what to eat and what to do. MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, YOU decide WHAT TO THINK. One thing is sure and that is that your day will not be better than your thoughts. ...................
Just close your eyes for a moment and see if you can visualise this open toolbox and if you can see the hundreds of tools that are neatly placed in this toolbox. Now look if you can see the maker’s name on these tools. The creator of these tools (thoughts and perceptions) is you. You created thousands of thoughts and perceptions (tools) about everything since your childhood. ..................
When confronted with any situation or problem you reach into this toolbox and take out what you think the most appropriate tool would be and then attempt to fix the problem. It is estimated that your mind thinks at least 2,500 thoughts an hour. Every thought that you think is a tool (perception) that you have that you imagine would work best under specific circumstances. This thought process continues day and night and will do so for the rest of your life. .....................................
I am convinced that we think ourselves to a standstill. We never stop playing with these tools in our toolbox and can hardly ever really relax for a while. If we are not faced with a problem or task that needs completion we still continue to take out these tools and mentally rehears and contemplate how we will use them should something that we fear become a reality. ............................
We are forever thinking and scheming and never become still and tranquil inside. Our bodies might seem relaxed, but deep inside our heads this thought process continues churning around. What I am most worried about is that most of the tools that you have in your toolbox are very old and outdated. .......................
Many of the opportunities, problems and obstructions that you face daily cannot be repaired while you are using old and outdated tools. If you take a modern mechanic’s toolbox and you place the toolbox of a mechanic of fifty years ago next to it you will find that there are major discrepancies. When you are confronted with something that needs repair and you do not have the right tool for the task at hand it can be very frustrating. We usually improvise and try using some other tools and hope that it will also get the job done. ........................
When you are faced with a problem you need to select the right tool for the task at hand. If you do not have the tool in your toolbox it can complicate your life. What most people seem to ignore is that it is sometimes better not to reach for your toolbox when faced with a problem. Sometimes you need time to pass or need to leave the problem with its rightful owner. How well you use your tools is usually reflected in the world you see around you. What would you do if you were faced with any or all of the following? .........................
You get a flat tire on your way to an important customer or meeting. You can fall apart, develop a migraine and think that life is against you or you can take out the right tools (patience and reality) and take care of the problem in a relaxed manner. ........................
You have been working on the computer for hours and suddenly lose all your work. You can drop dead with a heart attack; think that God hates you or you can take out the right tool (sanity and reality) and begin over and this time remember to make a backup of your work. ....................
A lover or wife possibly cheated on you. You can go crazy and get an assassin to take out the potential threat to your relationship, think that you are a failure or you can take out the right tool (no fear of loss) and get on with your life. .......................
When you have the right tools in your toolbox it makes life a lot easier. The choices we make are vital in our lives. The more quality choices we make during any given day the higher the probability of success and peace of mind. ................
I suggest that you equip your toolbox with the best tools you can lay your hands on. It is important to upgrade if you discover that one of your tools are outdated or that a more modern version is available. How would you react if your TV packed up and a technician that obviously knows very little about electronics arrived at your house with only a sledgehammer and a few other primitive tools in his toolbox? I am sure that you will send him away and find someone better qualified and equipped for the task. .....................
You might sometimes be like this incompetent and poorly equipped technician indicated above if you do not often update your tools (thoughts) in your toolbox. You can also have all the right tools in your toolbox and never use them because you are afraid that you might make a mistake. ..................
You must remember that happiness and success is always just one thought (tool) away. You should remember when you find it difficult to cope with something that one new tool (thought) could change your life. One fresh thought and one new idea can change your life from pain and suffering to success and peace of mind. ........................
You are today what you were programmed with yesterday. The choices that you make on a moment-to-moment basis decide your fate and future. You can never feel or perform better than the ongoing thoughts and feelings that you allow to occupy your mind! .......................
The mistake we make is that most of us live our lives on a reactive basis. We start and complete our day in a reactive state of being. Something comes to our attention via our five senses or via a thought in our mind. We automatically slip into the “role” that we created for ourselves many moons ago. We act, react and experience the same feelings and emotions that we embedded with our scrip at its inception. We do exactly the same when new stimuli push the previous “drama” off the stage in our minds. We sustain this reactive mode of thinking until we finally go to bed at night. Most of our days are made up of a tapestry of “roles” that we played in our own colorful way. It is important to understand that nothing is going to change until we do something different. We cannot repeat the same old recipes and expect a different outcome. ....................
You can use the “Portable Life Skills Wisdom” book to develop a range of appropriate scripts that you can use when you are faced with a problem or project that need your attention. You will if you apply the scripts in this book find that you no longer run your life on a reactive basis. The new scripts will help you to live your life in the moment. You will become more realistic. You will treat each event on its own merit. How do you do this? ......................
The Process ....................
Read the first message in your book. Write it down if at all possible. It will assist you to absorb the data provided. Now sit back and close your eyes and visualize how you will apply the specific message in the various areas of your life. See yourself on the screen of your mind using the message in all your day-to-day activities. It is important to attempt to feel and experience the benefits that this new mode of thinking will bring into your life. Do this for ten minutes. Then open your eyes and begin to apply the wisdom on all occasions where appropriate in your activities on that given day. ...........................
Proceed to do the same with second message etc. in your book tomorrow. You will upload almost a thousand powerful recipes if you sustain the process indicated above. You can in less than three years upload a powerful “tool” system that will serve you for the rest of your life. This can be a life changing experience if you apply it daily. You will discover that the ten minutes you invest daily will upload countless new strategies into your subconscious computer. Build a successful and happy life. The key however is action. You can have the best tools available to man and still fail if you don’t use them daily. Wishing you the very best with this endeavor. .............................
Daily Support System (This Blog) ................
You not only have the massive key ideas in the book that you can use when appropriate you also receive daily posts on a wide range of subjects that will expand this system to a level never offered before. Visit this blog daily for fresh new ideas with a sprinkle of historical wisdom that stood the test of time. ..........................
Rene
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PORTABLE LIFE SKILLS DAILY WISDOM GUIDE 