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YOUR HEAD IS LIKE A TOOLBOX

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 decionsaa

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YOU MAKE A THOUSAND CHOICES EVERY DAY!

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YOUR MIND IS FULL OF THOUGHTS OF LOVE, JUDGEMENT, PEACE, FEAR, GRACE, GUILT, JOY, ANGER, FORGIVENESS, ATTACK, LAUGHTER, WORK, PLAY, JUDGMENT, KINDNESS, ISOLATION AND ONENESS ETC!

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YOUR HEAD IS LIKE A TOOLBOX: Everyday you make a thousand choices. You choose what to wear, where to go, who to meet, what to eat and what to do. MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, YOU decide WHAT TO THINK. One thing is sure and that is that your day will not be better than you thoughts.

Just close your eyes for a moment and see if you can visualise this open toolbox and if you can see the hundreds of tools that are neatly placed in this toolbox. Now look if you can see the maker’s name on these tools. The creator of these tools (thoughts and perceptions) is you. You created thousands of thoughts and perceptions (tools) about everything since your childhood.

When confronted with any situation or problem you reach into this toolbox and take out what you think the most appropriate tool and attempt to fix the problem. It is estimated that your mind thinks at least 2,500 thoughts an hour. Every thought that you think is a tool (perception) that you have that you imagine would work best under specific circumstances. This thought process continue day and night and will do so for the rest of your life.

I am convinced that we think ourselves to a standstill. We never stop playing with these tools in our toolbox and can hardly ever really relax for a while. If we are not faced with a problem or task that needs completion we still continue to take out these tools and mentally rehears and contemplate how we will use them should something that we fear become a reality.

We are forever thinking and scheming and never become still and tranquil inside. Our bodies might seem relaxed, but deep inside our heads this thought process continues churning around. What I am most worried about is that most of the tools that you have in our toolboxes is very old and outdated.

Many of the modern problems that you face cannot be repaired using these tools. If you take a modern mechanic’s toolbox and you place the toolbox of a mechanic of fifty years ago next to it you will find that there are major discrepancies. When you are confronted with something that needs repair and you do not have the right tool for the task at hand it can be very frustrating. We usually improvise and try using some other tool and hope that it will also get the job done.

 

When you are faced with a problem you need to select the right tool for the task at hand. If you do not have the tool in your toolbox it can complicate your life. What most people seem to ignore is that it is sometimes better not to reach for your toolbox when faced with a problem. Sometimes you need time to pass or need to leave the problem with its rightful owner. How well you use your tools is usually reflected in the world you see around you. What would you do if you were faced with any or all of the following?

 

You get a flat tire on your way to an important customer or meeting. You can fall apart, develop a migraine and think that life is against you or you can take out the right tools (patience and reality) and take care of the problem in a relaxed manner.

 

You have been working on the computer for hours and suddenly lose all your work. You can drop dead with a heart attack, think that God hates you or you can take out the right tool (sanity and reality) and begin over again and remember this time to make a backup your work.

 

A lover or wife possibly cheated on you. You can go crazy and get an assassin to take her potential lover out, think that you are a failure or you can take out the right tool (no fear of loss) and get on with your life.

 

When you have the right tools in your toolbox it makes life a lot easier. The choices we make are vital in our lives. The more quality choices we make during any given day the higher the probability of success and peace of mind.

I suggest that you equip your toolbox with the best tools you can lay your hands on. If you discover that one of your tools are outdated or that a more modern version is available. How would you react if your TV packed up and a technician that obviously knows very little about electronics arrived at your house with only a sledgehammer and a few other primitive tools in his toolbox? I am sure that you will send him away and find someone better qualified and equipped for the task.

You might sometimes be like this incompetent and poorly equipped technician indicated above if you do not often update your tools (thoughts) in your toolbox. You can also have all the right tools in your toolbox and never use them because you are afraid that you might make a mistake.

You must remember that happiness and success is always just one thought (tool) away. You should remember when you find it difficult to cope with something that one new tool (thought) could change your life. One fresh thought and one new idea can change your life from pain and suffering to success and peace of mind.

You are what you think. Your choices that you make on a moment-to-moment basis decide your fate and future. You are really what you think. You can never feel or perform better than the ongoing thoughts that you allow to occupy your mind!

Rene

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ADDITIONAL MATERIAL ON CHOICES AT THE LINK BELOW

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https://eagleman6788.wordpress.com/2013/07/29/courage-when-you-avoid-making-hard-choices-you-also-made-a-choice-a-choice-to-do-nothing/

 
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Posted by on February 15, 2017 in WISDOM

 

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Why do women cheat? Some women will cheat no matter what you do.

That is indeed a very good question, why do women cheat? There are a number of reasons and they are not just down to their partner either. Some women will cheat no matter what you do (short of locking them at home) and some have more honest (if you can say that) reasons behind their infidelity.

When asking why do women cheat? It is necessary to ask if you are making your lady feel wanted and appreciated. This certainly extends to a sexual context too and many women find sex a very effective mood booster. If you are allowing the excitement to slip in your relationship then you must put some passion back into it. This can be in terms of surprise emails or kissing in public. Whatever it is, women will always want to feel wanted and special. If they lack this then don’t ask yourself why do women cheat?

Another aspect to the why do women cheat intrigue is as an exit strategy. Some women may wish to sleep with someone else as an easy way of breaking up the relationship. Others find the boredom of everyday married life a real drag and go in search of some excitement. Sex in the same place with the same partner and in the same positions is really, really tiresome and many women search greater levels of excitement. You need to inject some excitement with romantic ideas and spontaneous passionate demonstrations.

Women are really quite emotional creatures and they have certain emotional needs that you have to address. Why do women cheat seems to place the guilt on women but if you are not supporting them enough then you may be just as guilty. It may not always be at the very forefront of your mind but do try to consider the feelings of your partner and talk about them too. Even though it so often happens when women cheat, the answer to why do women cheat isn’t always even focussed around sex. Sex simply has a strange ability to make a woman feel emotionally more secure.

The answer to why do women cheat is not always the fault of their partners. Sometimes a woman can be more thrill seeking and many just love to be bad. This is not the fault of their partner necessarily although some extra excitement can be a good thing in any relationship. You cannot let yourself think that settling down into some kind of normality and never cheating will keep a woman happy. Women can also use infidelity as revenge for infidelity on their partners behalf so don’t give her reason to do this.

There are many possible answers to the question of why do women cheat but you can make it as unlikely as possible. You can keep her interested by avoiding the monotony of day to day life and share feelings. If you show her where she belongs, she isn’t going to wander. It’s really a simple case of understanding what women actually want.

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A lot more on this subject at the link below.

http://www.ismywifecheatingblog.com/why-do-women-cheat/

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Posted by on October 8, 2015 in 21 AND OLDER, WISDOM

 

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Why do women cheat? It is necessary to to first ask if you are making your lady feel wanted/appreciated.

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That is indeed a very good question, why do women cheat? There are a number of reasons and they are not just down to their partner either. Some women will cheat no matter what you do (short of locking them at home) and some have more honest (if you can say that) reasons behind their infidelity.

When asking why do women cheat? It is necessary to ask if you are making your lady feel wanted and appreciated. This certainly extends to a sexual context too and many women find sex a very effective mood booster. If you are allowing the excitement to slip in your relationship then you must put some passion back into it. This can be in terms of surprise emails or kissing in public. Whatever it is, women will always want to feel wanted and special. If they lack this then don’t ask yourself why do women cheat?

Another aspect to the why do women cheat intrigue is as an exit strategy. Some women may wish to sleep with someone else as an easy way of breaking up the relationship. Others find the boredom of everyday married life a real drag and go in search of some excitement. Sex in the same place with the same partner and in the same positions is really, really tiresome and many women search greater levels of excitement. You need to inject some excitement with romantic ideas and spontaneous passionate demonstrations.

Women are really quite emotional creatures and they have certain emotional needs that you have to address. Why do women cheat seems to place the guilt on women but if you are not supporting them enough then you may be just as guilty. It may not always be at the very forefront of your mind but do try to consider the feelings of your partner and talk about them too. Even though it so often happens when women cheat, the answer to why do women cheat isn’t always even focussed around sex. Sex simply has a strange ability to make a woman feel emotionally more secure.

The answer to why do women cheat is not always the fault of their partners. Sometimes a woman can be more thrill seeking and many just love to be bad. This is not the fault of their partner necessarily although some extra excitement can be a good thing in any relationship. You cannot let yourself think that settling down into some kind of normality and never cheating will keep a woman happy. Women can also use infidelity as revenge for infidelity on their partners behalf so don’t give her reason to do this.

There are many possible answers to the question of why do women cheat but you can make it as unlikely as possible. You can keep her interested by avoiding the monotony of day to day life and share feelings. If you show her where she belongs, she isn’t going to wander. It’s really a simple case of understanding what women actually want.

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A lot more on this subject at the link below.

http://www.ismywifecheatingblog.com/why-do-women-cheat/

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Posted by on August 30, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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Dating Guide for the Awakening Human Being

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Dating Guide for the Awakening Human Being

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Recently Tim wrote this article for the Danish lifestyle magazine “Liv og Sjæl” about how we, as awakening human beings, can tackle the challenge of meeting and dating in a more conscious fashion. Enjoy!

 

”Dating Guide for the Awakening Human Being – by Tim Ray

 

One of the characteristics of a healthy, harmonious relationship is that the partners are a good match. And by a good match I don’t necessarily mean they match each other in appearance or in the outer. People can differ externally – age, appearance, job, career, financial situation, personality type, etc. – and still be a good match. People are a good match when inner circumstances match – and by that I mean when their level of consciousness and their values, intention, and lifestyle match. If there is a good match between your level of consciousness and another person’s, then the chances of you being a “good match” are greater.


So if your focus is on becoming a more conscious and awake human being and if you are looking for a partner who is also striving to become more conscious, how do you determine if someone is a good match for you in terms of their level of consciousness?

 

Here are some of the things an “awakening” human being might want to consider and be aware of when he or she is dating:

 

–          What is this person’s level of consciousness? Is the person awake and conscious or is she/he confused and unconscious? Does this person believe everything he/she thinks or is this person able to question his/her thinking?

 

–          What is the basic energy of this person? How does it feel? Is there… fear, anxiety, insecurity? Is there desire and a longing for outer, material things, status, money, etc? Does the person radiate anger, irritation, or frustration? Does the person have the “it’s their fault” attitude or vibration? Does the person have a lot of pride and a closed mind and radiate the feeling that he or she knows all the answers? Or is the person open, flexible and willing to consider things from new perspectives? Does the person’s energy seem optimistic and positive? Does the person seem to have common sense and the ability to think clearly? Does his/her energy feel loving and spacious? Is there a feeling of respect for him/herself and others? And what about a feeling of peace? Ecstasy? In other words, what is the person’s vibrational quality?

 

–          What are the person’s values and goals in life? Do he/she value outer achievements like money, material things, status, and fame? Or does the person value inner qualities such as being conscious, understanding and feeling love and compassion? And if the person says their focus is on inner qualities – is there harmony between the person’s stated values and his/her behavior, way of speaking, lifestyle?

 

–          Does the person take responsibility for their life or is this person trying to get someone else to save them?

 

–          Does the person feel comfortable with who they are and rest in themselves? Can he or she be alone and feel good?

 

 Or is this someone who needs to fill up their time with outer activities, people and experiences to feel okay?

 

–          Is he/she desperate to find a partner?

 

–          Is she/he realistic when it comes to what a relationship can actually do and not do for a person?

 

–          Does he/she have healthy boundaries? Or does the person have too few boundaries (for example being willing to have sex too quickly?). Or too many boundaries (for example not being honest and showing who they are.)

 

–          Does he/she have a lot of unresolved pain from a previous relationship which they haven’t worked through yet (newly divorced or just out of a long relationship)?

 

–          Does she/he have any unhealthy addictions such as alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, coffee, flirting and sex?

 

–          What happens when you disagree about something – does this person treat you and the way you see things with respect?

 

–          If you tell the person something intimate or talk about your problems, does he/she listen with respect and compassion?

 

–          If you share some of the things you see/feel about the person with him or her, is the person able to listen to what you’re saying in a sane and sensible manner? Or does he/she immediately become aggressive and/or defensive?

 

–          Is he/she overly responsible and trying to fix others (including you)? Or is this person able to mind his/her own business and let other people take care of their business?

 

–          Is she/he abusive? Does the person violate your boundaries? Or does this person allow him/herself to be violated?

 

–          Is the person awake? Aware? Conscious? And if not, is waking up and becoming more conscious a primary goal in his or her life?

 

–          And finally… if you are a good match, in terms of your level of consciousness – what are his/her preferences when it comes to having a relationship? For example, how much time does this person want to spend with you? Does this match what you want? And how does the person want to spend this time? And again does this match your desires and preferences?

 

The more awake you are, the better your dating experience will be!

 

When you read this, you might be thinking, “but how can I realistically assess something like this?”


Part of the answer is obviously the more conscious and aware you are yourself, the easier it will be for you to see and understand other people. In other words, if you understand yourself and your own thinking, feelings and behavior, it’s a lot easier to judge what’s going on with someone else.


And the opposite is also true – if you’re not especially conscious and are very identified with your own thoughts, stories and beliefs and feel needy and insecure, it will be more difficult for you to assess another person’s level of consciousness accurately.


Which brings us to the most important thing of all when it comes to dating – namely – the best thing you can do to have a good dating experience and a good relationship in the future is to become a more conscious person yourself!

 

Know thyself first

 

So look at the above checklist and now ask yourself the same questions again – but this time, ask them about yourself. How do you rate? By doing this, you can get an idea of your own level of consciousness in terms of the areas mentioned above.

 

And yes, it’s an interesting exercise.

 

If you find areas where you can see that you are not especially conscious and have problems – well then you know where you need to do more inner work so that you can become more awake yourself.

 

So in this way, dating can be more than just fun – it can be a great way to stimulate your own inner growth!

 

Healthy dating takes time

 

When you look at the above checklist, you can also add other points that you think are important for a conscious/awake person to consider when meeting another person. The other thing you will discover is that obviously it will take some time before you can realistically evaluate how conscious another human being is! (Or how awake you are for that matter!). And then assess whether or not you would be a good match.

 

And this brings us to another important aspect of dating for the awakening human being – it’s important to precede slowly and not just jump into bed right away. Because only by taking your time can you realistically assess if the two of you are a good match.

 

How long it takes to realistically assess another person’s level of consciousness depends on your level of consciousness! The more conscious you are, the less time it will take for you to correctly assess another person’s level of consciousness – and whether or not you are a good match. And if you’re not especially conscious, well then it will take longer for you to make a healthy assessment. And yes this is a bit of a paradox because when you’re not so conscious, you will probably have a tendency to jump into bed with the first lovely body you run into…

 

So how conscious are we in fact?

 

When we look at reality, the truth is that most people who are doing consciousness work and are in the process of becoming more awake – are not completely awake and not completely unconscious either. The reality is they’re a mixture of both – sometimes awake and aware – and sometimes pretty unconscious. So of course this is another good reason to take your time when you are dating!

 

In practice this translates into something like this:

 

1) No physical contact, kissing, sex, etc. for the first many dates. One of the dangers of having sex right away is that the energy of flirting and the sex can be so powerful that it interferes with your ability to think and judge clearly. And this can make it very difficult for you to assess your own and the other person’s level of consciousness – and ascertain whether you are a good match or not.

 

So no sex for the first many dates – for example, no sex the first 10 dates or the first couple of months! And even after the first kiss, it’s still a good idea to move forward slowly. So if you start kissing on date number 10, then wait with the sex until date number 20 – that is if you are still seeing each other after so many dates!

 

Sex is one of the most intimate things two human beings can do together which is why it is very important to make sure you can be intimate on the inner plane first so that you know you are able to treat each other with respect and love on the inner plane.

 

So remember: First inner intimacy (i.e. getting to know each other really well) and then outer (physical) intimacy.

 

2) Get to know each other slowly. Don’t meet at your place or the other person’s place on the first many dates. Meet somewhere neutral like a café. If you really think you feel good together after just a few meetings, well go out to dinner or go for a walk in the woods or something like that. And then if you still feel good together well then you can go to the next step which is going home to each other. But go slowly!

 

Another advantage of going slowly is that it will enable you to experience the other person in different situations at different times in their life during the period and learn more about what is going on in this person’s life. And this will enable you to see how she/he is dealing with it. Which can be very revealing. Because it’s not what’s happening in a person’s life that determines how awake a person is, but how a person relates to what’s happening. So if you go slowly, you’ll get more of a chance to see this clearly too.

 

Happy dating!”

 

Love,

Tim and Barbara

www.beamteam.com

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Posted by on May 4, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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Book Review – “101 Relationship Myths” about sexual attraction”

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Here’s an excerpt from “101 Relationship Myths” about sexual attraction”. Enjoy!

“One of the relationship myths that has caused me the most pain during the course of my “relationship career” is the idea that strong sexual attraction and falling in love means you’re compatible and a good match. So a couple of years ago I decided to take a closer look at this idea and find out if it’s really true that when you’re on cloud nine and feel strong sexual attraction to someone, it means you’re going to be a good match as a couple.

It didn’t take me long to find the answer. When I looked back at some of my previous relationships, I could see that even though we were really attracted to each other, the reality was that we were not that good a match. Yes we might have felt blissful or even in love in the beginning, but when it came to relationships, lifestyle and interests, we often had very different views, preferences and values.

This realization was a revelation to me. Up until then, I’d been basing my choice of partner on whether or not there was a strong sexual attraction between us and not on whether or not we were a good match. And suddenly I could see the painful consequences of this misunderstanding – for me and my partners.

One of the consequences of believing that strong sexual attraction means you’re a good match was that in the beginning of a new relationship, I often found myself exaggerating or only focusing on the woman’s “positive” sides (oh she’s so beautiful, so spiritual, and so forth) while downplaying or even ignoring her more “negative” sides. For example, I would overlook the sudden unkind remark that made me feel uncomfortable and instead sweep it under the carpet because I was so much in love. Or I’d accept an action or actions on her part that I’d never accept in anyone else. But in her case, because the attraction was so strong, I’d let it slide. And I have to admit that if I had been totally honest with myself, the truth was I already knew on the very first date, in the very first five minutes or so of our conversation, why the relationship would sooner or later become unworkable. Yes it’s true, I actually knew from the very beginning the reasons why we would not be a good match…

But because I was so infatuated and innocently believed that strong sexual attraction means you’re a good match, I ignored reality. And the result was almost always the same. As soon as the intoxication of falling in love began to wear off and the reality began to set in, it would become more and more painful for me to stay in the relationship. And then, the long, difficult battle to extricate myself would begin.

Find your core values

So if strong sexual attraction and falling in love don’t necessarily mean you’re a good match – what does? What makes two people a good match?

One of the things that make two people a good match is that they have the same “core” values. By having the same core values, I don’t mean being the same personality type or having the same education or working in the same field. I mean you have the same basic attitudes when it comes to what’s important in life, not least what’s important when it comes to relationships.

One of the reasons why many relationships get into serious trouble is that the man and the woman don’t have the same core values. A “mismatch” like this usually spells trouble because most people live according to their core values – and usually unconsciously expect their partners to do so too. This can be problematic when these core values don’t match. Let’s take an example. Let’s say one of your core values is “freedom” while your partner’s core values are “security and feeling safe”. Obviously this can make your relationship problematic because you will both unconsciously be expecting the other to behave in a manner that is in conflict with his or her core value or values. So when you are faithful to your core value and give yourself and your partner lots of “freedom”, your partner may get upset and feel insecure because his/her core values of “security and feeling safe” are not being met or are threatened. The opposite is true too. When your partner tries to live in harmony with his/her core value and strives for “security” for example, by wanting clear agreements on how you do things, the “freedom-loving” partner feels stifled and inhibited. You feel your core value of “freedom” is being threatened. So this is why it is so important to be more aware of what you and your partner’s (or a potential partner’s) core values are.

My former girlfriend, sexologist and couples therapist Joan Ørting has developed a good exercise to help us become more aware of our core values when it comes to relationships. I suggest you give this exercise a try – it can be really interesting. Ask yourself the following questions and answer as honestly as you can.

Question: What is most important for you in a relationship?

Answer: That my partner accepts me and loves me unconditionally.

Question: How does it make you feel when your partner accepts you and loves you unconditionally?

Answer: It makes me feel SAFE.

Conclusion: So feeling SAFE is one of your core values.

Repeat the questions until you identify 3-5 of your main core values. Once you’ve done this, prioritize the values so that you end up with a list that looks like this:

My core values when it comes to relationships:
1) FEELING SAFE
2) BEING TOGETHER
3) JOY

Or perhaps you’ll come up with a list of core values that looks like this:

1) FREEDOM
2) ADVENTURE
3) BEING TOGETHER

Becoming aware of your core values can be a really big help when it comes to determining if you and a potential partner are a good match. And if you’re already in a relationship and are having problems, it may be because your core values do not match. So it can also be helpful to do this exercise with your partner and then talk about what your respective core values are. Understanding how your core values differ can make it easier to communicate with each other in the future.”

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Click here to read a short extract from the book.

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Posted by on March 19, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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Not making a choice is actually also a choice that you make.

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freshstartnow

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Most of us sooner or later discover that we have two forces that course through our veins. We automatically vacillate between the “upper” and “lower” limits of this force on a moment to moment basis. The UPPER end of the pole of this system is called the “ACTION” zone and the “LOWEST” end of this pole is characterized as the “NON-ACTION” zone. The feelings generated by thoughts, events or for that matter everything and everyone we encounter decides the quality of the output we intend using to deal with the matter at hand. The mistake we make is that many of us think that we are at the mercy of this so-called automatic reaction patterns that endlessly flood our minds and hearts daily. We jump with joy and run like the wind when good feelings are generated by the thought or event that we are confronted with (ACTION) or shut down and retreat into a dark place in our minds (NON-ACTION). What many of us never knew or understood is that there is no need to remain a victim of our historical conditioning or past mistakes. All that is real and valid is our current moment. We can if we decide to take control act in an appropriate and powerful manner notwithstanding the threat and feelings of doubt that we might be confronted with. You are part of a universal force that caters for evolution on a moment to moment basis. Call this force God my friend if it will make you feel more comfortable. This force is fair and allows every living thing in the universe to evolve, grow and expand notwithstanding his or her history. You can make a fresh start on a moment to moment basis. You are allocated 86400 new moments in any given day where you can make a fresh start. There is no need to fear failure or hide in the “NON-ACTION” zone. The NON-ACTION zone is a place where you become stagnant and RESIST risking the possibility of getting hurt or disappointed. The choices you make decide the quality of the outcomes you experience daily. Very few of us understand that not making a choice is actually also a choice that you make. You choose NON-ACTION and RESISTANCE and give up control.

 

Spend some time today to probe why you have this reluctance to take action. What is the cause of the resistance deep inside you that is preventing you from being the best you that you can ever be? Now make a list of all the things you will do if you knew that you cannot fail. Make a list of everything that comes to mind. Think it and then ink it. I will continue this series tomorrow.

 

Rene

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Posted by on March 10, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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One fresh thought/new idea can change your life from pain and suffering/success/peace of mind.

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 decionsaa

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YOU MAKE A THOUSAND CHOICES EVERY DAY!

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YOUR MIND IS FULL OF THOUGHTS OF LOVE, JUDGEMENT, PEACE, FEAR, GRACE, GUILT, JOY, ANGER, FORGIVENESS, ATTACK, LAUGHTER, WORK, PLAY, JUDGMENT, KINDNESS, ISOLATION AND ONENESS ETC!

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YOUR HEAD IS LIKE A TOOLBOX: Everyday you make a thousand choices. You choose what to wear, where to go, who to meet, what to eat and what to do. MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, YOU decide WHAT TO THINK. One thing is sure and that is that your day will not be better than you thoughts.

Just close your eyes for a moment and see if you can visualise this open toolbox and if you can see the hundreds of tools that are neatly placed in this toolbox. Now look if you can see the maker’s name on these tools. The creator of these tools (thoughts and perceptions) is you. You created thousands of thoughts and perceptions (tools) about everything since your childhood.

When confronted with any situation or problem you reach into this toolbox and take out what you think the most appropriate tool and attempt to fix the problem. It is estimated that your mind thinks at least 2,500 thoughts an hour. Every thought that you think is a tool (perception) that you have that you imagine would work best under specific circumstances. This thought process continue day and night and will do so for the rest of your life.

I am convinced that we think ourselves to a standstill. We never stop playing with these tools in our toolbox and can hardly ever really relax for a while. If we are not faced with a problem or task that needs completion we still continue to take out these tools and mentally rehears and contemplate how we will use them should something that we fear become a reality.

We are forever thinking and scheming and never become still and tranquil inside. Our bodies might seem relaxed, but deep inside our heads this thought process continues churning around. What I am most worried about is that most of the tools that you have in our toolboxes is very old and outdated.

Many of the modern problems that you face cannot be repaired using these tools. If you take a modern mechanic’s toolbox and you place the toolbox of a mechanic of fifty years ago next to it you will find that there are major discrepancies. When you are confronted with something that needs repair and you do not have the right tool for the task at hand it can be very frustrating. We usually improvise and try using some other tool and hope that it will also get the job done.

 

When you are faced with a problem you need to select the right tool for the task at hand. If you do not have the tool in your toolbox it can complicate your life. What most people seem to ignore is that it is sometimes better not to reach for your toolbox when faced with a problem. Sometimes you need time to pass or need to leave the problem with its rightful owner. How well you use your tools is usually reflected in the world you see around you. What would you do if you were faced with any or all of the following?

 

You get a flat tire on your way to an important customer or meeting. You can fall apart, develop a migraine and think that life is against you or you can take out the right tools (patience and reality) and take care of the problem in a relaxed manner.

 

You have been working on the computer for hours and suddenly lose all your work. You can drop dead with a heart attack, think that God hates you or you can take out the right tool (sanity and reality) and begin over again and remember this time to make a backup your work.

 

A lover or wife possibly cheated on you. You can go crazy and get an assassin to take her potential lover out, think that you are a failure or you can take out the right tool (no fear of loss) and get on with your life.

 

When you have the right tools in your toolbox it makes life a lot easier. The choices we make are vital in our lives. The more quality choices we make during any given day the higher the probability of success and peace of mind.

I suggest that you equip your toolbox with the best tools you can lay your hands on. If you discover that one of your tools are outdated or that a more modern version is available. How would you react if your TV packed up and a technician that obviously knows very little about electronics arrived at your house with only a sledgehammer and a few other primitive tools in his toolbox? I am sure that you will send him away and find someone better qualified and equipped for the task.

You might sometimes be like this incompetent and poorly equipped technician indicated above if you do not often update your tools (thoughts) in your toolbox. You can also have all the right tools in your toolbox and never use them because you are afraid that you might make a mistake.

You must remember that happiness and success is always just one thought (tool) away. You should remember when you find it difficult to cope with something that one new tool (thought) could change your life. One fresh thought and one new idea can change your life from pain and suffering to success and peace of mind.

You are what you think. Your choices that you make on a moment-to-moment basis decide your fate and future. You are really what you think. You can never feel or perform better than the ongoing thoughts that you allow to occupy your mind!

Rene

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ADDITIONAL MATERIAL ON CHOICES AT THE LINK BELOW

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https://eagleman6788.wordpress.com/2013/07/29/courage-when-you-avoid-making-hard-choices-you-also-made-a-choice-a-choice-to-do-nothing/

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Posted by on February 28, 2015 in WISDOM

 

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