Most of us sooner or later discover that we have two forces that course through our veins. We automatically vacillate between the “upper” and “lower” limits of this force on a moment to moment basis. The UPPER end of the pole of this system is called the “ACTION” zone and the “LOWEST” end of this pole is characterized as the “NON-ACTION” zone. The feelings generated by thoughts, events or for that matter everything and everyone we encounter decides the quality of the output we intend using to deal with the matter at hand. The mistake we make is that many of us think that we are at the mercy of this so-called automatic reaction patterns that endlessly flood our minds and hearts daily. We jump with joy and run like the wind when good feelings are generated by the thought or event that we are confronted with (ACTION) or shut down and retreat into a dark place in our minds (NON-ACTION). What many of us never knew or understood is that there is no need to remain a victim of our historical conditioning or past mistakes. All that is real and valid is our current moment. We can if we decide to take control act in an appropriate and powerful manner notwithstanding the threat and feelings of doubt that we might be confronted with. You are part of a universal force that caters for evolution on a moment to moment basis. Call this force God my friend if it will make you feel more comfortable. This force is fair and allows every living thing in the universe to evolve, grow and expand notwithstanding his or her history. You can make a fresh start on a moment to moment basis. You are allocated 86400 new moments in any given day where you can make a fresh start. There is no need to fear failure or hide in the “NON-ACTION” zone. The NON-ACTION zone is a place where you become stagnant and RESIST risking the possibility of getting hurt or disappointed. The choices you make decide the quality of the outcomes you experience daily. Very few of us understand that not making a choice is actually also a choice that you make. You choose NON-ACTION and RESISTANCE and give up control.
Spend some time today to probe why you have this reluctance to take action. What is the cause of the resistance deep inside you that is preventing you from being the best you that you can ever be? Now make a list of all the things you will do if you knew that you cannot fail. Make a list of everything that comes to mind. Think it and then ink it. I will continue this series tomorrow.
BE BOLD AND STRETCH YOUR COMFORT ZONE DAILY – NO GROWTH IS POSSIBLE WHILE YOU REPEAT THE SAME OLD STUFF ENDLESSLY- IT IS OK TO BE SCEPTICAL, BUT OPEN YOUR MIND AND BEGIN TO LOOK AT LIFE FROM MANY DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVES. YOU WILL OFTEN BE CHALLENGED WHEN YOU VISIT THE READING ROOM. WE ONLY GROW AND EVOLVE WHEN WE DARE TO GO OUTSIDE WALLS OF OUR BELIEF SYSTEM. OUR OBJECTIVE IS TO BECOME LOVE. NOT ACT AS IF WE LOVE, BUT TO BECOME UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. OUR INTENTION DIRECT ALL OUR ACTIONS. – VISIT THE READING ROOM DAILY AND DISCOVER HOW POWERFUL YOU ARE!
Happy people have an advantage over unhappy ones — they may be healthier and may live longer.
An extensive review of literature using seven types of evidence indicates that high subjective well-being (SWB), such as life satisfaction, optimism, and positive emotions, causes better health and longevity. The review, published in Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being (2011), examined 160 studies which showed compelling evidence that positive feelings predict health and longevity.
The findings of the review, based from seven types of evidence, are summarized below:
Longitudinal studies. These studies, which have large sample sizes and have followed participants for a decade or more, revealed that SWB was related to lower mortality rate in both healthy and diseased populations. Positive moods such as joy and happiness, life satisfaction, hopefulness, optimism, and a sense of humor were associated with reduced risk of mortality and predicted longevity.
Physiology and health. Moods and emotions are associated with biological markers such as blood pressure, cortisol, and inflammation. Studies found that pessimists have higher blood pressure levels. Anger and hostility were related not only to the development of cardiovascular disease, but also to disease progression and inflammation. Stress predicted lower levels of immune response; whereas, positive affect strengthened immunity. Positive affect was associated with greater social connectedness, perceived social support, and greater probability of performing healthy behaviors.
Experimental manipulations of emotions. In experimental studies, positive and negative moods are induced which are then measured. Research showed that participants exposed to positive mood induction had quicker cardiovascular recovery after a stressful task than subjects who were exposed to neutral and negative mood inductions. Studies also revealed that couples who were generally higher in hostility had slower wound healing than low hostile couples, as well as more tumor necrosis and a poorer immune response.
Animal studies. Animals are used in experimental research to obtain information about how certain positive and negative situations affect their health and longevity. Studies revealed that socially-stressed monkeys developed more extensive atherosclerosis than unstressed ones. Stress, threatening human behavior, and isolation suppressed the immune system of monkeys, chickens, and pigs. Pigs that learned a mastery task to obtain rewards, giving them some control over their environment, later showed quicker wound healing and carcass quality.
Quasi-experimental studies in natural settings. Studies in quasi-experimental studies suggest that events and disasters are associated with cardiovascular and immune changes. Disasters, bereavement, and observing exciting sports events can trigger cardiac deaths in vulnerable individuals. Further, people with work overload and worry showed higher cortisol response at awakening and on weekdays but not on weekends.
Interventions that influence SWB. Researchers found that transcendental meditation and progressive relaxation reduced blood pressure over a 3-month follow-up period, compared to a control group. People who wrote about intensely positive experiences had fewer health center visits for illness during the following 3 months, compared to people who wrote about a control topic. Patients who suffered from myocardial infarction, who received Type-A counseling (for Type A behavior) in addition to traditional cardiac counseling, were less likely to die within 5 years.
SW’s impact on quality of life and pain. Studies showed that positive emotions were related to lower pain and greater tolerance for pain. Patients suffering from fibromyalgia and rheumatoid arthritis reported less pain with positive mood induction while women reported less pain to heat stimuli when looking at photos of their partner.
In sum, these converging studies form a compelling proof that SWB, such as happiness, causally influences health and longevity.
My mood was cold, dark, and directionless. My tortured mind was filled with thoughts of missed opportunities and broken promises.
The cutting wind on my unshaven face made my eyes water and drove the dark clouds of depression into my shattered soul.
The years slipped by like fleeting dreams. Moments of joy and victory came and vanished like the waves of the ocean bashed on the black rocks of sadness.
I looked up and noticed the sheets of rain that endlessly poured its gift of life and growth in all directions.
A thought darted into my tired defeated mind. I suddenly noticed how nature shares her abundance with everyone and everything.
Mother Nature is not selective when she sends gifts of rain and sunshine to feed, nourish and rejuvenate everything with a smattering of life at their core.
These gifts of life are given to the seeds that are still sleeping in the soil. The dark scorched earth will soon put on a new coat of colour and in turn pass on these gifts of life to the bees, birds and everything else that waited patiently on Mother Nature to return as she has done since the beginning of time.
I suddenly understood that it is mankind’s inability to give unconditionally that is responsible for the inequality that drips off this planet like black wax from a candle.
Our homes are filled to the brim with stuff, but we want more, better, faster and the latest. Something inside us drives us like a hungry pack of wolves forward in our quest to feed our greedy ego.
There is no time for compassion in our busy lives. Poverty stares at us on every corner, but we are so obsessed with our own little world that we never notice that cold and hungry child on the corner of the street or a mother that worked her hands to the bone to serve us where we sit in our artificial castles sipping our wine of success.
The clouds of gloominess gradually lifted from my bowed shoulders. I knew what Mother Nature came to teach me in this dark night of my soul. She came to teach me about compassion and gratitude. She showed me that I must learn to give unconditionally and abundantly if I want to make a contribution to life on this planet.
I noticed that the sun began to break through the clouds announcing that the rain moved on to go and do some more teaching down the road. A rainbow suddenly appeared on the horizon. I slowly got up, wiped the water from my face, pushed back my shoulders with new hope in my heart against the backdrop of the singing of the birds that were thanking Mother Nature in advance for the new gifts that she will bring the next time she pays us a visit. She will like before pour her gifts on the rich and the poor, on those that have in abundance and those that have virtually nothing. She deposits her gifts on everyone regardless of their status, race or career and knows that a time will come when mankind has evolved enough to grasp that we are one and an extension of her.
1. A child reared without clear boundaries has little chance of success. Limits are necessary to give purpose, direction and structure to life. The fool swims in a boundless sea of opportunity and finally drowns because of his failure to latch onto a specific purpose. He tries to own the sea while the wise man selects a single purpose (opportunity/goal) and then pursue it with all his heart. The wise man understands the power of commitment and focused thought and is well rewarded.
2. A defeated person becomes indifferent about his fate. He finally stops feeling ashamed or sorry. He stops resisting and fighting to reclaim his dignity. The wise is very aware that passive behaviour could make him act like a dog with a broken spirit. Our parks are filled with defeated individuals that tragically accepted their fate in life.
3. A desperate or worried person displays the tendency to cling to anything or anyone that displays even slight compassion. A true warrior understands that this behaviour will eventually exhaust the person that he clings to. A champion never makes panic decisions or choices. He lives in the moment and knows that his winter season will pass like so many times before and make way for a brand new summer.
4. A few moments of indiscretion could become a burden that you might haunt you for the rest of your life. The need for instant gratification is usually at the root of most of our less spectacular choices. Any choice that we make can be compared to the pull of a trigger on a gun. Once the bullet leaves the barrel it cannot be recalled.
5. A good friend is like a good investment. To make good longterm friends be a friend. Friends become a shield in troubled times. Friendship is not a one-sided deal. There are people that claim that they are your friends, but they are often just stranger exploiting you. Several of the friends you make during your lifetime will stick a knife in your back the first time your friendship is really tested.
6. A grievance poisons your mind and chains you to the past. It leaves you bitter and twisted. Everyday of your life you chose between grievances and freedom. You must make up your mind if you want “pain” or “joy” or the “old” or the “new”. When you choose to go for freedom then learning the art of letting go becomes a top priority. When you have mastered the art of letting go of your history you begin to predominantly live in the now.
7. A man that cannot find enough compassion in his heart to forgive is a fool. We all make mistakes, but the fool continues trying to convince everybody that he is flawless. When you master the art of forgiveness you enter a safe harbour and gain peace of mind.
8. A man that is mature, fair and respectable is worth more than precious jewellery. Everybody respects maturity and predictability. Wisdom only comes to those that are slow to anger and careful in their judgement.
9. A man that lacks self-esteem needs titles and certificates to justify his position in life. A man at peace with who he is does not need the constant blessing or praise of others. Never allow a person’s title or position to intimidate or dominate you. See yourself on equal footing with others. Do not allow a person to intimidate you with his pedigree or current superior vantage point.
10. A man with willpower always has the best chance of coming out on top. The main reason why people fail is not because they do not have the skills and know-how, but because they lack the willpower. A person without willpower and determination always ends up the slave of those that do.
Rene
(from my book – PORTABLE LIFE SKILLS WISDOM GUIDE)
This grandfather of all people-skills books was first published in 1937. It was an overnight hit, eventually selling 15 million copies. How to Win Friends and Influence People is just as useful today as it was when it was first published, because Dale Carnegie had an understanding of human nature that will never be outdated. Financial success, Carnegie believed, is due 15 percent to professional knowledge and 85 percent to “the ability to express ideas, to assume leadership, and to arouse enthusiasm among people.” He teaches these skills through underlying principles of dealing with people so that they feel important and appreciated. He also emphasizes fundamental techniques for handling people without making them feel manipulated. Carnegie says you can make someone want to do what you want them to by seeing the situation from the other person’s point of view and “arousing in the other person an eager want.” You learn how to make people like you, win people over to your way of thinking, and change people without causing offence or arousing resentment. For instance, “let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers,” and “talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.” Carnegie illustrates his points with anecdotes of historical figures, leaders of the business world, and everyday folks.
The first self-help book I ever read was “How to win friends and influence people” by Dale Carnegie. I just finished school and was looking for an inspirational book in a tiny, poorly stocked book store in Windhoek in Namibia. I came across Dale Carnegie’s book in the scant selection of books on a shelf right at the back of this dusty store. I unashamedly admit today that although this was the first “motivational” book that I ever owned when it still remains one of the top ten books I ever read when it came to practical advice regarding people skills. Many of you might have read the book or still have a copy on a shelf in your library. I would suggest that you read it again. It will refresh your memory on one of the most important principles when it comes to compassion. It will remind you that you can make more progress in all areas of your life if you develop a sincere interest in others. Dale indicates in this book that you can make more friends in two months by developing an awareness of the interests of others than you could achieve in two years using any other method.
We live in small boxes today surrounded by massive walls to keep intruders out that might dare to enter our comfort zones. We shout at each other over these walls and only on very rare occasions lower our draw bridge and venture out or invite anyone into our domain. Most of us go around with our defence shield up and remain on guard twenty four hours a day. The political climate that we live and work in might also have something to do with this unhealthy behaviour. We need to open up and become more vulnerable if we want to escape the deadly ruts that many of us fell in over the years. Some of us feel lonely and need friends, companionship and fun, but we often forgo on these desires because of our fears and warped self-interest. Everything revolves around us and our own dreams, desires and choices. We look at life, people and places through a self-interest one way mirrors. Our interests always come first and the interests of others never really feature at all. We have this “What is in it for me” attitudes that fail to address the needs of anyone else.
When last did you manage to get yourself out of the way long enough to listen and experience any human being, family member or friend with an open mind? Many of us developed a sick habit of judging everyone. We endlessly scan people for flaws or potential threats. We fail to listen to them when they talk. We listen to the first few words of their sentences and then jump to conclusions. We look at people through eyes that fail to see the pain or desperation in them. We listen to what people say and fail to read the subliminal call for help that they are possibly to proud or ashamed to express. Do we care enough to really hear what our partner or children are telling us? Are we alert enough to feel the emotions of the person that we are communicating with? I think we all of us might have some work to do when it comes to mastering the art of putting the interest of others first.
When last did you compliment anyone on anything? We as parents tend to only give attention to our children when they are sick or when they did something wrong. We as partners only become interested enough when our relationships begin to fall apart. We fail to notice the cracks and peeling paint in our relationships. We are so busy with our own agendas, self-interests and objectives that the pain and frustration experienced by our partner bounces off our egotistical shield. Can you see what major difference a shift in attention can make in your life? Can you accept that life is not only about you and your plans and goals? Can you understand that the formula for success is that your success if virtually guaranteed if you help enough other people to achieve their own goals and dreams?
So I suggest that you shut up the next time anyone talk to you and listen carefully what is said and what is not expressed verbally. God supplied you with two ears and one mouth. You must listen more and talk less. Put yourself in others’ shoes and ask yourself if you really know the story of the person that you are talking to. Stop jumping to conclusions and stop judging people on hearsay and second hand data. Stop forcing people to communicate to you through their history. Start each day with a new clean slate. We have so many prejudices and perceptions about everything that is cast in stone that it became impossible to see thing as they are in the moment. Set yourself free by putting the interest of others first for a while.
Being exceptional at something is often attributed to one’s genetics. Talent is passed down from parents, grandparents, it seems, whether that’s musical or artistic skill, being good with numbers or a dab-hand with a pipette. No doubt there are significant genetic factors involved, but there are almost certainly environmental factors in the mix too. Perhaps the two work synergistically so that expression of unique genes allows a talent to develop well if it is suitably nurtured.
However, some researchers believe that talent is learned and earned through extended and intense practice of a skill rather than being an innate expression of genes that would otherwise lie dormant. This notion is nowhere more succinctly encapsulated than in the 10,000 hours rule posited by psychologist Anders Ericsson of Florida State University, and made famous by author Malcolm Gladwell in his book “Outliers”.
In essence Ericsson’s theory suggests that sufficient practice in a particular skill can take anyone to the level of proficiency equivalent to that heard in the playing of a top concert pianist. Gladwell wholeheartedly encompasses this notion pointing out that great sportspeople, business leaders and performers all got their 10,000 hours practice in their particular art early in life. This helped them to excel precociously, allowing them to shine while their duller contemporaries were still grappling with the basics.
Gladwell cites the 10,000 hours The Beatles played in Hamburg, between 1960 and 1964. This opportunity gave them something few musicians had at the time leading to their ultimate greatness as musicians and song writers. He cites Microsoft founder Bill Gates. Gates is an examplar partly because he had access to a computer in 1968 at the age of 13 and spent 10,000 hours programming before the vast majority of his peers even knew what a computer was. There are 10,000-hour concert pianists, violin virtuosi, artists, and synthetic chemists too.
I’ve been writing professionally for more than two decades and playing guitar since age 12. Now, I’m not claiming to be concert level in either writing or guitar playing, but surely I’ve passed my 10,000 hours. My readers and listeners might suggest I still need another 10,000, and Ericsson might agree because the 10,000-hour rule is not what it seems.
“I might emphasize how deliberate practice is different from just doing or engaging in activities in the domain,” he told me. “I might disagree with some of Gladwell’s examples as they do not all of them illustrate sustained focus on deliberate practice.” He added that, “In music, people do not seem to win international competitions with less than 25,000 hours of solitary practice; most of that deliberate.” So, Erricson’s own rule is that thousands of hours of dedicated “practice”, and not simply everyday doing of an activity, is the important point.
10,000 hours is about 90 minutes practice every day for twenty years. Which might explain why the average piano-learning child doesn’t make it to concert level. Three hours a day gets you there within a decade, so start at age 10 and you’re done before you leave your teens. Unfortunately, passing the 10,000 hour point exactly is not going to be a skills tipping point. Learning and expertise are gradual processes, skills evolve with practice, talent grows. There will be a vast range of time periods over which each individual reaches their peak of proficiency, their concert level you might say, in whatever field.
Indeed, Ericsson confirmed that 10,000 hours isn’t necessarily enough for some skills. “I tend to emphasize that if there are some people who are gifted even they need to put in 10,000 hours in many domains, like music, which leads one to question what would happen if any motivated person embarked on that path,” he told me. Could anyone become highly talented simply through achieved thousands of hours of dedicated practice? This brings us full circle to the nature versus nurture argument…unfortunately.
Perhaps scientifically speaking, 10,000 hours is purely a metaphor for “lots of practice”. If you want to achieve “concert level” whether at the piano or at the laboratory bench, 10,000 hours is going to get you close to that goal. That’s a lot of practice whichever way you play.
You need to stop living your life having regrets for things in your past. Constantly thinking about events from your past that you aren’t proud of, mistakes you may have made in your relationships, or things you “should have” done isn’t going to make your future any better. You need to accept where you are in your life for what it is, and learn from your “mistakes”. No matter how bad you view something from your past to be, take the time to really find something positive from it. Look hard. There is something there.
Things are going to happen to you. They happen to everybody. It’s how you deal with them that allows you to grow as a person and an overall happier human being. If you’re able to find just one positive from an event, you will grow. Consider this example:
Say you’re in college and your friends invite you out for a few beers. However, you have a big exam the next day. You’ve studied for weeks and are certain of all the material that’s going to be on the exam. You decide to go because you heard that cute guy or girl you’ve had your eye on is going to be there. You have a few beers and finally get the courage to do some flirting. After a few more beers, you’re pretty drunk and decide you need to go home. You catch a few hours sleep and take your exam. Long story short, you fail the exam because you made a bad decision to go out the night before. You feel complete disappointment in yourself, which you should. However, instead of moping around about it, learn from your mistake and move on with your life. Realize that your hard work doesn’t pay off unless you complete the project. Studying for weeks for the exam was wasted for a night out of fun. Learn what you need to do to accomplish the goals you set out for yourself, and stay disciplined until you have successfully completed what you set out to do.
To take that first move toward to a new positive way of pursuing life, try the following:
Make a list of the events from your life that you continue to dwell on and can’t seem to let go of.
For each event, write down what your mistake was, what you learned from this mistake, and something positive you have today because of the situation.
Let go of it!
If you are able to release the binds of the past and start to live for today, you will start to feel a happiness that is very rewarding. What’s in the past, is in the past. It cannot be undone. Apply your energy to today and appreciate the life that you have.
The most powerful tool you own is your ability to measure if your current ACTION will take you TOWARDS your GOAL or AWAY from what you DESIRE. You measure your progress and the quality of your CHOICES by the FEELINGS that you experience. People, events, blogs, movies, newspaper articles and people in general will either make you FEEL empowered or dis-empowered, strong or weak, inspired or deflated during or after you engaged them. Your FEELINGS guide you faithfully during all your endeavours. FEELINGS of ANGER, FEAR, ANXIETY and DEPRESSION shout out to you that you need to move away from a POTENTIAL TROUBLE SOURCE. When you read a book, blog or magazine you become UPLIFTED and MOTIVATED or you become aware that the material is sucking some of your valuable energy out of your body and soul. My friend many of the things we do and the interactions we have either HEAL us or make us SICK. We are either swimming UPSTREAM or DOWNSTREAM while we participate in this game of life. We must take time to STOP periodically so we can evaluate the STATUS of our current activity. Our best friend can be our worst enemy if such friend often feed us with toxic interactions that make us WEAK and WORRIED. The most dangerous people, situations and perceived opportunities are often “packaged” in fancy false disguise. Groups are often toxic. They might have a facades of saintliness and salvation that hide their hidden agendas and concealed motives. Repeat the following as often as you can today. I will today allow my FEELINGS and INTUITION to guide me while at work or play. I will not accommodate people, things and events that make me feel deflated, depressed or weak. My FEELINGS guide me today toward SUCCESS and away from potential FAILURE and LOSS. Look around you today and become aware how many things and people attempt to suck the LIFE ENERGY from you! Become aware how society is set up to US and ABUSE you. perceptions (beliefs) might need updating.
Most of us sooner or later discover that we have two forces that course through our veins. We automatically vacillate between the “upper” and “lower” limits of this force on a moment to moment basis. The UPPER end of the pole of this system is called the “ACTION” zone and the “LOWEST” end of this pole is characterized as the “NON-ACTION” zone. The feelings generated by thoughts, events or for that matter everything and everyone we encounter decides the quality of the output we intend using to deal with the matter at hand. The mistake we make is that many of us think that we are at the mercy of this so-called automatic reaction patterns that endlessly flood our minds and hearts daily. We jump with joy and run like the wind when good feelings are generated by the thought or event that we are confronted with (ACTION) or shut down and retreat into a dark place in our minds (NON-ACTION). What many of us never knew or understood is that there is no need to remain a victim of our historical conditioning or past mistakes. All that is real and valid is our current moment. We can if we decide to take control act in an appropriate and powerful manner notwithstanding the threat and feelings of doubt that we might be confronted with. You are part of a universal force that caters for evolution on a moment to moment basis. Call this force God my friend if it will make you feel more comfortable. This force is fair and allows every living thing in the universe to evolve, grow and expand notwithstanding his or her history. You can make a fresh start on a moment to moment basis. You are allocated 86400 new moments in any given day where you can make a fresh start. There is no need to fear failure or hide in the “NON-ACTION” zone. The NON-ACTION zone is a place where you become stagnant and RESIST risking the possibility of getting hurt or disappointed. The choices you make decide the quality of the outcomes you experience daily. Very few of us understand that not making a choice is actually also a choice that you make. You choose NON-ACTION and RESISTANCE and give up control.
Spend some time today to probe why you have this reluctance to take action. What is the cause of the resistance deep inside you that is preventing you from being the best you that you can ever be? Now make a list of all the things you will do if you knew that you cannot fail. Make a list of everything that comes to mind. Think it and then ink it. I will continue this series tomorrow.
1. A child reared without clear boundaries has little chance of success. Limits are necessary to give purpose, direction and structure to life. The fool swims in a boundless sea of opportunity and finally drowns because of his failure to latch onto a specific purpose. He tries to own the sea while the wise man selects a single purpose (opportunity/goal) and then pursue it with all his heart. The wise man understands the power of commitment and focused thought and is well rewarded.
2. A defeated person becomes indifferent about his fate. He finally stops feeling ashamed or sorry. He stops resisting and fighting to reclaim his dignity. The wise is very aware that passive behaviour could make him act like a dog with a broken spirit. Our parks are filled with defeated individuals that tragically accepted their fate in life.
3. A desperate or worried person displays the tendency to cling to anything or anyone that displays even slight compassion. A true warrior understands that this behaviour will eventually exhaust the person that he clings to. A champion never makes panic decisions or choices. He lives in the moment and knows that his winter season will pass like so many times before and make way for a brand new summer.
4. A few moments of indiscretion could become a burden that you might haunt you for the rest of your life. The need for instant gratification is usually at the root of most of our less spectacular choices. Any choice that we make can be compared to the pull of a trigger on a gun. Once the bullet leaves the barrel it cannot be recalled.
5. A good friend is like a good investment. To make good longterm friends be a friend. Friends become a shield in troubled times. Friendship is not a one-sided deal. There are people that claim that they are your friends, but they are often just stranger exploiting you. Several of the friends you make during your lifetime will stick a knife in your back the first time your friendship is really tested.
6. A grievance poisons your mind and chains you to the past. It leaves you bitter and twisted. Everyday of your life you chose between grievances and freedom. You must make up your mind if you want “pain” or “joy” or the “old” or the “new”. When you choose to go for freedom then learning the art of letting go becomes a top priority. When you have mastered the art of letting go of your history you begin to predominantly live in the now.
7. A man that cannot find enough compassion in his heart to forgive is a fool. We all make mistakes, but the fool continues trying to convince everybody that he is flawless. When you master the art of forgiveness you enter a safe harbour and gain peace of mind.
8. A man that is mature, fair and respectable is worth more than precious jewellery. Everybody respects maturity and predictability. Wisdom only comes to those that are slow to anger and careful in their judgement.
9. A man that lacks self-esteem needs titles and certificates to justify his position in life. A man at peace with who he is does not need the constant blessing or praise of others. Never allow a person’s title or position to intimidate or dominate you. See yourself on equal footing with others. Do not allow a person to intimidate you with his pedigree or current superior vantage point.
10. A man with willpower always has the best chance of coming out on top. The main reason why people fail is not because they do not have the skills and know-how, but because they lack the willpower. A person without willpower and determination always ends up the slave of those that do.
Many of us go around with a victim mentality. We allow life and people to dictate our lives. We almost always fall short of their selfish requirements. Nothing in life that is worthwhile comes to us because we have a nice smile or a submissive attitude. We need to walk tall and go for our goals and dreams in a positive and decisive manner. It is silly to think that we will be treated with respect if we allow people to sweep the floors with us. There is a time to be warm, kind and flexible, but then there are occasions that we must walk tall, become strong and do what needs to be done.
BE BOLD AND STRETCH YOUR COMFORT ZONE DAILY – NO GROWTH IS POSSIBLE WHILE YOU REPEAT THE SAME OLD STUFF ENDLESSLY- IT IS OK TO BE SCEPTICAL, BUT OPEN YOUR MIND AND BEGIN TO LOOK AT LIFE FROM MANY DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVES. YOU WILL OFTEN BE CHALLENGED WHEN YOU VISIT THE READING ROOM. WE ONLY GROW AND EVOLVE WHEN WE DARE TO GO OUTSIDE WALLS OF OUR BELIEF SYSTEM. OUR OBJECTIVE IS TO BECOME LOVE. NOT ACT AS IF WE LOVE, BUT TO BECOME UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. OUR INTENTION DIRECT ALL OUR ACTIONS. – VISIT THE READING ROOM DAILY AND DISCOVER HOW POWERFUL YOU ARE!
1. A child reared without clear boundaries has little chance of success. Limits are necessary to give purpose, direction and structure to life. The fool swims in a boundless sea of opportunity and finally drowns because of his failure to latch onto a specific purpose. He tries to own the sea while the wise man selects a single purpose (opportunity/goal) and then pursue it with all his heart. The wise man understands the power of commitment and focused thought and is well rewarded.
2. A defeated person becomes indifferent about his fate. He finally stops feeling ashamed or sorry. He stops resisting and fighting to reclaim his dignity. The wise is very aware that passive behaviour could make him act like a dog with a broken spirit. Our parks are filled with defeated individuals that tragically accepted their fate in life.
3. A desperate or worried person displays the tendency to cling to anything or anyone that displays even slight compassion. A true warrior understands that this behaviour will eventually exhaust the person that he clings to. A champion never makes panic decisions or choices. He lives in the moment and knows that his winter season will pass like so many times before and make way for a brand new summer.
4. A few moments of indiscretion could become a burden that you might haunt you for the rest of your life. The need for instant gratification is usually at the root of most of our less spectacular choices. Any choice that we make can be compared to the pull of a trigger on a gun. Once the bullet leaves the barrel it cannot be recalled.
5. A good friend is like a good investment. To make good longterm friends be a friend. Friends become a shield in troubled times. Friendship is not a one-sided deal. There are people that claim that they are your friends, but they are often just stranger exploiting you. Several of the friends you make during your lifetime will stick a knife in your back the first time your friendship is really tested.
6. A grievance poisons your mind and chains you to the past. It leaves you bitter and twisted. Everyday of your life you chose between grievances and freedom. You must make up your mind if you want “pain” or “joy” or the “old” or the “new”. When you choose to go for freedom then learning the art of letting go becomes a top priority. When you have mastered the art of letting go of your history you begin to predominantly live in the now.
7. A man that cannot find enough compassion in his heart to forgive is a fool. We all make mistakes, but the fool continues trying to convince everybody that he is flawless. When you master the art of forgiveness you enter a safe harbour and gain peace of mind.
8. A man that is mature, fair and respectable is worth more than precious jewellery. Everybody respects maturity and predictability. Wisdom only comes to those that are slow to anger and careful in their judgement.
9. A man that lacks self-esteem needs titles and certificates to justify his position in life. A man at peace with who he is does not need the constant blessing or praise of others. Never allow a person’s title or position to intimidate or dominate you. See yourself on equal footing with others. Do not allow a person to intimidate you with his pedigree or current superior vantage point.
10. A man with willpower always has the best chance of coming out on top. The main reason why people fail is not because they do not have the skills and know-how, but because they lack the willpower. A person without willpower and determination always ends up the slave of those that do.
1. Train your mind. According to the much publicized but nevertheless baffling concept of the law of attraction, an individual can create his own destiny by becoming a powerful magnet. Whatever you set your mind to, you have the power to attract it. This means that if you have negative thoughts, then you will attract the negativity into your life. Likewise, if you have positive thoughts, you will then invite the positive energies as well.
This concept is also known by many as subliminal training or programming of the mind. A mind that is not trained subliminally will be led by the conscious mind. The problem with this is that the conscious mind is so bombarded with external influences, which are most often negative. On the other hand, the well-trained mind knows how to find its way to the goals that you want. It knows which influences to listen to and which to block.
2. Visualize your goals. The most effective way to train the mind is to enliven it with images of your dreams and goals. Imagine yourself being where you want to be. Constant visualization will motivate your mind and eventually create a strong belief system. Once the mind recognizes this belief system, it starts formulating its own plans on how to achieve those goals. And the mind’s unlimited power, which is not to be underestimated, will simply come out.
3. Listen to the right messages. Aside from mental images, you also have to train your mind to listen to the right messages. The world is full of voices telling us different things. Your parents may be whispering that you have not been good enough, your friends may be whispering that you don’t really belong, your colleagues may be whispering that they are better than you. All these get sucked in by the conscious state that it’s all you ever hear and believe in.
So you have to overcome these messages with the help of subliminal messages, soft voices that whisper positive things to the subconscious level. When the subconscious level is deeply rooted in positive thoughts and beliefs, its power will overtake that of the conscious mind.
Here are some messages worth listening to:
I am an achiever. I hold the ability to reach my goals. I can make things happen. My desires are within my reach.
4. Tackle the hindrances. There will be hindrances along the way, that’s for sure. So if you want to successfully train the mind, you have to be prepared and determined. First, the mind absorbs many influences on a daily basis. If you want to successfully create a belief system, you have to reinforce the positive ideas in your mind every single day to prevent the negativity from creeping in.
Second, the subconscious is buried under a very thick, very persistent layer of influences coming from the social environment around you. This social environment can influence and even dictate the belief system that forms in your mind. If you want to access your subconscious, you’re going to have to do battle with these influences first. You can, however, use this to your advantage by placing yourself in an environment made up of success-driven people who have the same goals as you.
Things in life can’t be always purple, maybe that is the whole point of being alive – things change. Sometimes you feel like you rule the world, like everything is going so smooth and there is some secret power that helps you to achieve everything, to be at the right place at the right time, to say the right words, to get the right things, but some times occur things that stagger your world and you feel like you are incapable to do anything. That could be a divorce, lost of a family member, sacking from work, or some personal distraction that influence on your everyday life. In these moments the key thing is the motivation. It is the first step that could move you one step forward and we are not talking about hoping that something will happen but about making things happen. The point is to rediscover your motivation and the fundamental makeover games will start.
First you should do is to make a recapitulation of your vision. Point is to figure out where you want to be and what is it that you want in your life. Try to visualize your dream life, envisioning details as many as possible. That way you will get a feel for what you truly desire.
– After this, try to write down your visions so you’ll make them stronger. While doing that focus on things that you really like, not on the things that you don’t like. Select a chart that works for you – map or a brainstorm cloud, to be able to process this information after writing it down.
– Make a review of you current goals; are they in a relation to your dream life? If they are not, revise them, develop them in the loving way and remember that they are effective only if they drive you toward the future you desire.
– Leaving reminders, posters or note cards around you, with you goals written down, is addition to the idea of visualization of your dreams and is essential to developing the motivation to see them through to realization.
– If people around you are making you to fell depressed, to feel incapable for doing big things or depreciate you, put aside of your life. Surround your self with positive people that care about you, motivate you, cheer you on and support you and your goals.
– Constantly remind yourself why do you want these specific goals? Visualize your dream again and again, with all the tiny details. On every ‘why’ you’ll get more ‘how’ and the things will find their way to realisation. That way you will make detailed action plan of achievable steps, and every next step will fill you up with more energy to move on!
– Mental diet is much worth than any other diet that you take in your life. Get rid of thoughts and messages that keep you down, change them with positive. Constantly “feed” yourself with thoughts that rejuvenate your spirit. Also avoid letting obstacles from your past prevent you from pursuing your new passion and purpose.
The individual with a STUDENT mindset do not jump to conclusions and do not blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. The STUDENT is fully aware that he or she has the option to travel down the well worn path of the JUDGE or detach from this mindset and remain open, relax and alert to opportunities. The STUDENT is eager to learn and to hear what other people have to say. The STUDENT never jumps to conclusions and ask questions like, “What do I really want?”, “What is the facts and what can I learn from this experience?”, “What is my choices and what will allow for a win – win conclusion?” The student experience feelings of hope, optimism, collaboration, flexibility and fun while the JUDGE in turn remains focused on the opposite side of the scale. Read the notes below on the JUDGE and you will notice the complete different approach between the two options that we have when faced with challenges. The STUDENT open an endless number of directions that he or she can move while the JUDGE in turn remains so rigid that he or she soon runs out of options. Print a map for your office and home. This is a powerful tool that will assist you daily.
Fall down seven times. Stand up eight. (Japanese proverb.)
Resilience is one of the greatest survival skills. It helps you both psychologically and physically in the long-run. While it can’t make your problems go away, it can help you endure any sort of hardship – like traumatic events, loss, illness, disaster, the death of a loved one, or any other setback or challenge.
Resilience is about enlisting your inner strengths, and harnessing your healthy coping mechanisms, so that you keep functioning without getting over-anxious, depressed, overwhelmed or apathetic.
Here are 8 tips to help you learn how to bounce back when some misfortune strikes, or when you are faced with a challenge:
Maintain your hopefulness. Even though the picture may look grim for now, think back to all the challenges that you have encountered and overcome in your life so far, to gain hope and optimism that a solution will be found and remember that any wound, no matter how big it seems right now, will heal in time.
Learn to be more stoical about life. Accept that unwanted events, sudden changes in circumstances are a part of life, and instead of clinging to your belief of how things “ought to be” learn to adapt, tolerate and even welcome your problems. Sometimes, problems are teachers and help us grow and become hardier and wiser.
Take some distance from the event, misfortune or challenge and try to view it as happening to someone else. How would you help that person cope? What would you advise him/her to do? Follow your own advice. There are many angles from which you can view a situation. Taking some distance, becoming an observer rather than a participant may give you the strength but also the problem-solving resources to overcome your challenge. Resilience requires flexibility, not holding onto rigidly to only one point of view.
Reach out to your friends or other support groups. You don’t have to go it alone. A friend’s advice, help or even willing ear or shoulder to cry on may help you re-organize better your inner resources. Feeling connected helps empower people in times of hardship. Offering help to others does the same. Help others in need, you will get empowered as much as they!
Take appropriate action.You don’t have to know the whole solution, you don’t have to examine all the parameters before you take some action in a positive direction. Small steps can help you greatly to feel that you are gaining control of the situation. Play it by ear for a while, test what works and what doesn’t.
Remember to laugh. Every challenge, every misfortune has its comical side. Use humor to lighten up. Think of how comedians can describe a tragic situation in ways that make you laugh. It’s a great coping mechanism, a relaxing break from serious thinking, worrying or grieving.
Don’t neglect yourself. Take good care of your nutrition, sleep, and home environment. Create relaxation time, see friends, do things that please you, like relaxing hobbies, or going to the gym.
Maintain your vision and sense of purpose. Setbacks create havoc, sometimes, emotional upheaval and tend to require all of our attention. We tend to obsess about our problem, as if it’s the only thing going on in our lives. It’s good to continue to keep in mind your long-term personal goals, visions, the things that make your life meaningful and focus back on all these areas that provided joy, hope and a sense of accomplishment before the upsetting event. It will help create a sense of balance in your life.
Finally, remember that “this too shall pass”. Repeating this often to yourself will have a soothing and healing effect and boost your resilience.
Being exceptional at something is often attributed to one’s genetics. Talent is passed down from parents, grandparents, it seems, whether that’s musical or artistic skill, being good with numbers or a dab-hand with a pipette. No doubt there are significant genetic factors involved, but there are almost certainly environmental factors in the mix too. Perhaps the two work synergistically so that expression of unique genes allows a talent to develop well if it is suitably nurtured.
However, some researchers believe that talent is learned and earned through extended and intense practice of a skill rather than being an innate expression of genes that would otherwise lie dormant. This notion is nowhere more succinctly encapsulated than in the 10,000 hours rule posited by psychologist Anders Ericsson of Florida State University, and made famous by author Malcolm Gladwell in his book “Outliers”.
In essence Ericsson’s theory suggests that sufficient practice in a particular skill can take anyone to the level of proficiency equivalent to that heard in the playing of a top concert pianist. Gladwell wholeheartedly encompasses this notion pointing out that great sportspeople, business leaders and performers all got their 10,000 hours practice in their particular art early in life. This helped them to excel precociously, allowing them to shine while their duller contemporaries were still grappling with the basics.
Gladwell cites the 10,000 hours The Beatles played in Hamburg, between 1960 and 1964. This opportunity gave them something few musicians had at the time leading to their ultimate greatness as musicians and song writers. He cites Microsoft founder Bill Gates. Gates is an examplar partly because he had access to a computer in 1968 at the age of 13 and spent 10,000 hours programming before the vast majority of his peers even knew what a computer was. There are 10,000-hour concert pianists, violin virtuosi, artists, and synthetic chemists too.
I’ve been writing professionally for more than two decades and playing guitar since age 12. Now, I’m not claiming to be concert level in either writing or guitar playing, but surely I’ve passed my 10,000 hours. My readers and listeners might suggest I still need another 10,000, and Ericsson might agree because the 10,000-hour rule is not what it seems.
“I might emphasize how deliberate practice is different from just doing or engaging in activities in the domain,” he told me. “I might disagree with some of Gladwell’s examples as they do not all of them illustrate sustained focus on deliberate practice.” He added that, “In music, people do not seem to win international competitions with less than 25,000 hours of solitary practice; most of that deliberate.” So, Erricson’s own rule is that thousands of hours of dedicated “practice”, and not simply everyday doing of an activity, is the important point.
10,000 hours is about 90 minutes practice every day for twenty years. Which might explain why the average piano-learning child doesn’t make it to concert level. Three hours a day gets you there within a decade, so start at age 10 and you’re done before you leave your teens. Unfortunately, passing the 10,000 hour point exactly is not going to be a skills tipping point. Learning and expertise are gradual processes, skills evolve with practice, talent grows. There will be a vast range of time periods over which each individual reaches their peak of proficiency, their concert level you might say, in whatever field.
Indeed, Ericsson confirmed that 10,000 hours isn’t necessarily enough for some skills. “I tend to emphasize that if there are some people who are gifted even they need to put in 10,000 hours in many domains, like music, which leads one to question what would happen if any motivated person embarked on that path,” he told me. Could anyone become highly talented simply through achieved thousands of hours of dedicated practice? This brings us full circle to the nature versus nurture argument…unfortunately.
Perhaps scientifically speaking, 10,000 hours is purely a metaphor for “lots of practice”. If you want to achieve “concert level” whether at the piano or at the laboratory bench, 10,000 hours is going to get you close to that goal. That’s a lot of practice whichever way you play.
1. A child reared without clear boundaries has little chance of success. Limits are necessary to give purpose, direction and structure to life. The fool swims in a boundless sea of opportunity and finally drowns because of his failure to latch onto a specific purpose. He tries to own the sea while the wise man selects a single purpose (opportunity/goal) and then pursue it with all his heart. The wise man understands the power of commitment and focused thought and is well rewarded.
2. A defeated person becomes indifferent about his fate. He finally stops feeling ashamed or sorry. He stops resisting and fighting to reclaim his dignity. The wise is very aware that passive behaviour could make him act like a dog with a broken spirit. Our parks are filled with defeated individuals that tragically accepted their fate in life.
3. A desperate or worried person displays the tendency to cling to anything or anyone that displays even slight compassion. A true warrior understands that this behaviour will eventually exhaust the person that he clings to. A champion never makes panic decisions or choices. He lives in the moment and knows that his winter season will pass like so many times before and make way for a brand new summer.
4. A few moments of indiscretion could become a burden that you might haunt you for the rest of your life. The need for instant gratification is usually at the root of most of our less spectacular choices. Any choice that we make can be compared to the pull of a trigger on a gun. Once the bullet leaves the barrel it cannot be recalled.
5. A good friend is like a good investment. To make good longterm friends be a friend. Friends become a shield in troubled times. Friendship is not a one-sided deal. There are people that claim that they are your friends, but they are often just stranger exploiting you. Several of the friends you make during your lifetime will stick a knife in your back the first time your friendship is really tested.
6. A grievance poisons your mind and chains you to the past. It leaves you bitter and twisted. Everyday of your life you chose between grievances and freedom. You must make up your mind if you want “pain” or “joy” or the “old” or the “new”. When you choose to go for freedom then learning the art of letting go becomes a top priority. When you have mastered the art of letting go of your history you begin to predominantly live in the now.
7. A man that cannot find enough compassion in his heart to forgive is a fool. We all make mistakes, but the fool continues trying to convince everybody that he is flawless. When you master the art of forgiveness you enter a safe harbour and gain peace of mind.
8. A man that is mature, fair and respectable is worth more than precious jewellery. Everybody respects maturity and predictability. Wisdom only comes to those that are slow to anger and careful in their judgement.
9. A man that lacks self-esteem needs titles and certificates to justify his position in life. A man at peace with who he is does not need the constant blessing or praise of others. Never allow a person’s title or position to intimidate or dominate you. See yourself on equal footing with others. Do not allow a person to intimidate you with his pedigree or current superior vantage point.
10. A man with willpower always has the best chance of coming out on top. The main reason why people fail is not because they do not have the skills and know-how, but because they lack the willpower. A person without willpower and determination always ends up the slave of those that do.
The individual with a STUDENT mindset do not jump to conclusions and do not blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. The STUDENT is fully aware that he or she has the option to travel down the well worn path of the JUDGE or detach from this mindset and remain open, relax and alert to opportunities. The STUDENT is eager to learn and to hear what other people have to say. The STUDENT never jumps to conclusions and ask questions like, “What do I really want?”, “What is the facts and what can I learn from this experience?”, “What is my choices and what will allow for a win – win conclusion?” The student experience feelings of hope, optimism, collaboration, flexibility and fun while the JUDGE in turn remains focused on the opposite side of the scale. Read the notes below on the JUDGE and you will notice the complete different approach between the two options that we have when faced with challenges. The STUDENT open an endless number of directions that he or she can move while the JUDGE in turn remains so rigid that he or she soon runs out of options. Print a map for your office and home. This is a powerful tool that will assist you daily.
YOU WILL HAVE TO TUNE INTO A NEW RADIO STATION IF YOU WANT TO HEAR A NEW OF DIFFERENT PROGRAM. WHILE YOU KEEP YOUR RADIO TUNED ON A SPECIFIC STATION ALL OTHER OPTIONS WILL REMAIN OUT OF YOUR REACH!
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I know a number of people that act as if their perception about things is the only valid perception or option worth considering or listening to. This type of person goes around with a mindset about most things in life and makes as if only their fix on something is worth consideration. Anything that falls outside their belief system is viewed as wrong, defective, evil or false.
You might often display the same tendencies without even being aware of it. You might have several perceptions about yourself that is also out of tune with reality. The only way that you can modify any unacceptable behaviour is to tune into a new and appropriate perception in this regard. It is vital that you make a conscious decision to tune into a different station if you want to modify such behaviour.
You can have a burning desire to lose weight, but if you fail to turn the dial in your head your perception about your weight will remain the same. You might have all the talent in the world, but only when you actually fine-tune your performance will you achieve a level of greatness.
You must actually lift your hand to find another station on the dial of your radio. Nothing is going to happen without you physically lifting your hand and placing it on the knob that tunes your radio. You can sit and stare at the radio for days and dream about the wide variety of stations at your disposal, but if you fail to actually act on your dream your radio will remain on the same old station.
You can read as many self-help and motivational books as you like, but without acting on your desired outcome you will see no change in your status. Most people are too afraid to touch the dial of their radios. They are so afraid of the new and unknown that they will rather take the pain than act on their dreams.
The problem with most people is that they do not even know of the variety of options available to them. They got hooked on a specific station in life and think that they must remain loyal to it long after it served its purpose. All I can say is that you need to be brave and turn that knob on your perception tuner if you want to experience what life has to offer. When you ask people why they continue with a specific destructive and flawed relationship they mumble something about, “Better the devil you know.”
ALL IT WILL TAKE TODAY TO ACHIEVE ANY DESIRED OBJECTIVE IS TO TAKE ACTION. I NEED TO RETUNE OR THINGS WILL REMAIN THE SAME OR GET EVEN WORSE!
You can always go back to your old radio station if you discover that nothing on offer is better than your old and trusted station. You must however not moan and bitch what raw deal you got in life if you lack the courage to investigate alternatives.
I have seen many people at the end of their life cry over what could have been. Please understand this; it is never too late to retune your life. Nothing can stop you from turning that dial on your radio of life. The only person that stands between you and a whole new life, filled to the brim with new experiences is you.
It is your fear of potential pain and discomfort that is locking you into one station in life. If you want pleasure, you must go and search for it. If you want business success, you must retune you radio on a regular basis. If you want success in your relationships, you must be able to tune to your partner’s frequency.
The champions in life never get stuck on a single perception. They are always scanning for new opportunities. People that are brave and flexible exert tremendous influence. They are exciting and easy to be with. All it takes is a simple action to steer your life in a brand new direction. This action is to make a choice and then to act on the choice you made. Remember nobody can do it for you. You must retune or unconditionally accept where you are.
Fall down seven times. Stand up eight. (Japanese proverb.)
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Resilience is one of the greatest survival skills. It helps you both psychologically and physically in the long-run. While it can’t make your problems go away, it can help you endure any sort of hardship – like traumatic events, loss, illness, disaster, the death of a loved one, or any other setback or challenge.
Resilience is about enlisting your inner strengths, and harnessing your healthy coping mechanisms, so that you keep functioning without getting over-anxious, depressed, overwhelmed or apathetic.
Here are 8 tips to help you learn how to bounce back when some misfortune strikes, or when you are faced with a challenge:
Maintain your hopefulness. Even though the picture may look grim for now, think back to all the challenges that you have encountered and overcome in your life so far, to gain hope and optimism that a solution will be found and remember that any wound, no matter how big it seems right now, will heal in time.
Learn to be more stoical about life. Accept that unwanted events, sudden changes in circumstances are a part of life, and instead of clinging to your belief of how things “ought to be” learn to adapt, tolerate and even welcome your problems. Sometimes, problems are teachers and help us grow and become hardier and wiser.
Take some distance from the event, misfortune or challenge and try to view it as happening to someone else. How would you help that person cope? What would you advise him/her to do? Follow your own advice. There are many angles from which you can view a situation. Taking some distance, becoming an observer rather than a participant may give you the strength but also the problem-solving resources to overcome your challenge. Resilience requires flexibility, not holding onto rigidly to only one point of view.
Reach out to your friends or other support groups. You don’t have to go it alone. A friend’s advice, help or even willing ear or shoulder to cry on may help you re-organize better your inner resources. Feeling connected helps empower people in times of hardship. Offering help to others does the same. Help others in need, you will get empowered as much as they!
Take appropriate action.You don’t have to know the whole solution, you don’t have to examine all the parameters before you take some action in a positive direction. Small steps can help you greatly to feel that you are gaining control of the situation. Play it by ear for a while, test what works and what doesn’t.
Remember to laugh. Every challenge, every misfortune has its comical side. Use humor to lighten up. Think of how comedians can describe a tragic situation in ways that make you laugh. It’s a great coping mechanism, a relaxing break from serious thinking, worrying or grieving.
Don’t neglect yourself. Take good care of your nutrition, sleep, and home environment. Create relaxation time, see friends, do things that please you, like relaxing hobbies, or going to the gym.
Maintain your vision and sense of purpose. Setbacks create havoc, sometimes, emotional upheaval and tend to require all of our attention. We tend to obsess about our problem, as if it’s the only thing going on in our lives. It’s good to continue to keep in mind your long-term personal goals, visions, the things that make your life meaningful and focus back on all these areas that provided joy, hope and a sense of accomplishment before the upsetting event. It will help create a sense of balance in your life.
Finally, remember that “this too shall pass”. Repeating this often to yourself will have a soothing and healing effect and boost your resilience.
Everyday you make a thousand choices. You choose what to wear, where to go, who to meet, what to eat and what to do. MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, YOU decide WHAT TO THINK. One thing is sure and that is that your day will not be better than your thoughts. ...................
Just close your eyes for a moment and see if you can visualise this open toolbox and if you can see the hundreds of tools that are neatly placed in this toolbox. Now look if you can see the maker’s name on these tools. The creator of these tools (thoughts and perceptions) is you. You created thousands of thoughts and perceptions (tools) about everything since your childhood. ..................
When confronted with any situation or problem you reach into this toolbox and take out what you think the most appropriate tool would be and then attempt to fix the problem. It is estimated that your mind thinks at least 2,500 thoughts an hour. Every thought that you think is a tool (perception) that you have that you imagine would work best under specific circumstances. This thought process continues day and night and will do so for the rest of your life. .....................................
I am convinced that we think ourselves to a standstill. We never stop playing with these tools in our toolbox and can hardly ever really relax for a while. If we are not faced with a problem or task that needs completion we still continue to take out these tools and mentally rehears and contemplate how we will use them should something that we fear become a reality. ............................
We are forever thinking and scheming and never become still and tranquil inside. Our bodies might seem relaxed, but deep inside our heads this thought process continues churning around. What I am most worried about is that most of the tools that you have in your toolbox are very old and outdated. .......................
Many of the opportunities, problems and obstructions that you face daily cannot be repaired while you are using old and outdated tools. If you take a modern mechanic’s toolbox and you place the toolbox of a mechanic of fifty years ago next to it you will find that there are major discrepancies. When you are confronted with something that needs repair and you do not have the right tool for the task at hand it can be very frustrating. We usually improvise and try using some other tools and hope that it will also get the job done. ........................
When you are faced with a problem you need to select the right tool for the task at hand. If you do not have the tool in your toolbox it can complicate your life. What most people seem to ignore is that it is sometimes better not to reach for your toolbox when faced with a problem. Sometimes you need time to pass or need to leave the problem with its rightful owner. How well you use your tools is usually reflected in the world you see around you. What would you do if you were faced with any or all of the following? .........................
You get a flat tire on your way to an important customer or meeting. You can fall apart, develop a migraine and think that life is against you or you can take out the right tools (patience and reality) and take care of the problem in a relaxed manner. ........................
You have been working on the computer for hours and suddenly lose all your work. You can drop dead with a heart attack; think that God hates you or you can take out the right tool (sanity and reality) and begin over and this time remember to make a backup of your work. ....................
A lover or wife possibly cheated on you. You can go crazy and get an assassin to take out the potential threat to your relationship, think that you are a failure or you can take out the right tool (no fear of loss) and get on with your life. .......................
When you have the right tools in your toolbox it makes life a lot easier. The choices we make are vital in our lives. The more quality choices we make during any given day the higher the probability of success and peace of mind. ................
I suggest that you equip your toolbox with the best tools you can lay your hands on. It is important to upgrade if you discover that one of your tools are outdated or that a more modern version is available. How would you react if your TV packed up and a technician that obviously knows very little about electronics arrived at your house with only a sledgehammer and a few other primitive tools in his toolbox? I am sure that you will send him away and find someone better qualified and equipped for the task. .....................
You might sometimes be like this incompetent and poorly equipped technician indicated above if you do not often update your tools (thoughts) in your toolbox. You can also have all the right tools in your toolbox and never use them because you are afraid that you might make a mistake. ..................
You must remember that happiness and success is always just one thought (tool) away. You should remember when you find it difficult to cope with something that one new tool (thought) could change your life. One fresh thought and one new idea can change your life from pain and suffering to success and peace of mind. ........................
You are today what you were programmed with yesterday. The choices that you make on a moment-to-moment basis decide your fate and future. You can never feel or perform better than the ongoing thoughts and feelings that you allow to occupy your mind! .......................
The mistake we make is that most of us live our lives on a reactive basis. We start and complete our day in a reactive state of being. Something comes to our attention via our five senses or via a thought in our mind. We automatically slip into the “role” that we created for ourselves many moons ago. We act, react and experience the same feelings and emotions that we embedded with our scrip at its inception. We do exactly the same when new stimuli push the previous “drama” off the stage in our minds. We sustain this reactive mode of thinking until we finally go to bed at night. Most of our days are made up of a tapestry of “roles” that we played in our own colorful way. It is important to understand that nothing is going to change until we do something different. We cannot repeat the same old recipes and expect a different outcome. ....................
You can use the “Portable Life Skills Wisdom” book to develop a range of appropriate scripts that you can use when you are faced with a problem or project that need your attention. You will if you apply the scripts in this book find that you no longer run your life on a reactive basis. The new scripts will help you to live your life in the moment. You will become more realistic. You will treat each event on its own merit. How do you do this? ......................
The Process ....................
Read the first message in your book. Write it down if at all possible. It will assist you to absorb the data provided. Now sit back and close your eyes and visualize how you will apply the specific message in the various areas of your life. See yourself on the screen of your mind using the message in all your day-to-day activities. It is important to attempt to feel and experience the benefits that this new mode of thinking will bring into your life. Do this for ten minutes. Then open your eyes and begin to apply the wisdom on all occasions where appropriate in your activities on that given day. ...........................
Proceed to do the same with second message etc. in your book tomorrow. You will upload almost a thousand powerful recipes if you sustain the process indicated above. You can in less than three years upload a powerful “tool” system that will serve you for the rest of your life. This can be a life changing experience if you apply it daily. You will discover that the ten minutes you invest daily will upload countless new strategies into your subconscious computer. Build a successful and happy life. The key however is action. You can have the best tools available to man and still fail if you don’t use them daily. Wishing you the very best with this endeavor. .............................
Daily Support System (This Blog) ................
You not only have the massive key ideas in the book that you can use when appropriate you also receive daily posts on a wide range of subjects that will expand this system to a level never offered before. Visit this blog daily for fresh new ideas with a sprinkle of historical wisdom that stood the test of time. ..........................
Rene
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PORTABLE LIFE SKILLS DAILY WISDOM GUIDE 