Need a quick shot of confidence? Here’s how it works!

 

 

Need a quick shot of confidence? Maybe you’re in a new or difficult situation, like asking the boss for a raise or a party where you don’t know anyone. In any case, people often lack confidence in situations where having it could be the difference between success and failure.

One technique for building confidence in these kind of situations is called acting ‘As If’. More than just pretending or faking confidence in a scary situation, acting ‘As If’ is a complete process and can be used to build confidence in areas of your life where it is lacking.

Here’s how it works:

First, recognize that there are areas of your life where you do, in fact, have a lot of confidence, remember a specific time in your past where you were doing or saying something with confidence. It doesn’t have to be a particularly serious or challenging moment, just pick the first thing that comes to mind.

Next, let your body go back to that moment where you had lots of confidence. Give your whole self fully to that moment, remembering what your body felt like.

Pay attention to three specific things when you do this:

Your Posture: How do you hold your body when you’re feeling confident? Fully feel your posture while you’re remembering, and move around in your confident body.

Your Gestures: What sort of gestures do you let your body make when you’re very confident? Do you move your hands forcefully, or gently? Do you even make gestures at all? Remember that time and let your body gesture (or not) at it normally would in that moment.

Your Voice: What does your voice sound like when you’re supremely confident? Focus not so much on what you said in that moment, but what your voice sounds like. Remember the tone of voice (volume, pitch, and speed) and speak with that same confident tone here and now.

So, now that you’re fully living and breathing that moment of confidence, and focused on your posture, gestures and tone of voice, slowly allow yourself to visualize the new situation. Do this slowly, so that you can bring your confident self into the new environment. Notice what your voice sounds like as you ask your boss for that raise, notice your posture and gestures (or lack of) as you speak to those new people at the party.

Keep focusing on the 3 key areas as you visualize, and if you feel your confidence starting to fade too much, allow yourself to go back to the old situation again to refocus.

Do this slowly at first, back and forth in your mind’s eye between the confident situation, and bringing that confident you into what is now becoming a less and less challenging environment. After a bit of practice, you’ll be able to feel completely confident in your visualization of the upcoming event. Continue this exercise every night before you go to sleep for at least 3 weeks, and you’ll find confidence creeping into your life in situations you never expected.

 

By Christoph Schertler,

Creator of The NLP Confidence Builder