LIFE IS NOT A POPULARITY CONTEST – Remember people treat you the way you allow them to treat you.

I CANNOT GIVE YOU THE FORMULA FOR SUCCESS, BUT I CAN GIVE YOU THE FORMULA FOR FAILURE – TRY TO PLEASE EVERYBODY

Herbert Bayard Swope

There is an inherent thing in most of us that often leads to our downfall. Most of us have this strong desire to be loved, respected and supported by everybody. During our formative years we usually do our level best to “win” the approval of those that have dominance over us. We soon learn that the intelligent thing to do is to remain on the “good side” of individuals like our (father, mother or teachers). We soon learn how to navigate activities in such a way that our “controllers” would approve of us. Approval meant the good stuff and disapprovals usually lead to pain and isolation.

Look around you and identify some of the things you still do to avoid potential conflicts or win the approval of people that are in an authority position over you. You will never walk up to your boss and tell him or her that you think he or she is a spineless peace of garbage. Most people will tolerate their boss’s tantrums and childish behaviour because they know that he is the one that is signing their pay cheque at the end of each month.

You will not go up to your father and tell him that he will only get your respect if he earns it. Most abused sons and daughters swallow their bitterness and disgust and play-act the role of the caring son or daughter or stay out of his way as much as possible.

You do not tell a police officer that it is obvious to you that he is an idiot and would not be able to find a chicken in a chicken pen even if his life depended on it. Most people try their best to win the approval of the people that they associate with. Most of us understand this “pecking order” thing and attempt not to get the individuals higher up in the pecking order to get upset with us.

We often preach to our children that we want honesty from them, but fail to be a good example ourselves. The children hear how their parents often moan about how the boss is always taking advantage of them at work, but also see and hear how they grovel when he or she comes for a visit or when they speak to him on the phone.

 

I ACCEPT AND UNDERSTAND THAT I CAN NEVER PLEASE ALL THE PEOPLE ALL THE TIME. I UNDERSTAND THAT LIFE IS NOT A POPULARITY CONTEST.

Life is not a popularity contest. You must retain your dignity and self-esteem at all times. You are not in the army and not a soldier that must obey all commands. There is no need to change into a rebel or a person that always swims upstream, but you can demand that others always treat you with respect.

Even when you made a mistake you still do not have to stand for the abuse of a person that is possibly taking advantage of your error. Even when you made a major mistake, it still does not give any person the right to shred your self-image and self-esteem. Remember people treat you the way you allow them to treat you.

If you mentally assume the “begging position” when you are faced with a person in a “power position” he or she will wipe the floors with you. Remember that you will never please all the people all the time. Some will love you and some will hate you even if you could walk on water.

It is a fallacy to think that you can win the approval of everybody that you meet. The most successful way to destroy your self-esteem is to attempt to win or retain the favour of everybody that you meet, work or live with.

Rene

 

 

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Flowchart illustrates how men use secret seduction techniques to attract women…

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And they asked me, “Please say a few words on shame” – My lecture notes.

A defeated person becomes indifferent about his fate. He finally stops feeling ashamed or sorry. He stops resisting and fighting to reclaim his dignity. The wise is very aware that passive behaviour could make him act like a dog with a broken spirit. Our parks are filled with defeated individuals that tragically accepted their fate in life.

It is not a shame to not reach your goals, but not having goals is disastrous. How can you fly your plane of life and forget to lodge a flight plan? How can others help you if not even you know where you want to be? The formula for success is actually very simple. Decide what you want and then start doing stuff that will take you towards your desired objective. The fool is convinced that it is a shame to retreat or admit defeat. He will rather give his life, lose his house or estrange his family than admit that he made a mistake.

We sometimes must go back so we can go forward. The fool continues regardless of the obvious while the wise man retreats and learns from his mistakes. There is a saying, “Run away today so you can fight again another day.” A strategic retreat is standard procedure during times of war. The wise man knows when it is time to leave. The fool clings to his sinking ship until it is buried in the waves. Leave at the right moment and you will be missed, but overstay your welcome and you will be shunned. It is no shame to call it a day, call time out or to retire hurt for a while. The fool is too proud or too stupid to see when a cycle has ended.

When we were born, we received the gift of unlimited potential. It is a shame that this gift is soon taken away by those that were responsible for our education. You were already fully conditioned before your tenth birthday to accept the limitations of the zone you were born into. The real warrior is not zone-bound and can move into any zone with ease.

Your spirit is unlimited and can adapt to any circumstances. You were born a champion and will remain a champion until your final day on this plane. When you are knocked down while playing the game of life you can see the setbacks as the end of your attempt, or you could view them as part of your education process at the university of life. There is no shame in failure or mistakes, but there is reason for concern when you stay down. Champions fail their way to success. When they fail, they get up, dust themselves off and try again. They make the necessary adjustments until they succeed. They are champions because they got up many times after being knocked down.

Champions do not see themselves as victims or cry over spilled milk. A child reared without clear boundaries has little chance of success. Limits are necessary to give purpose, direction and structure to life. The fool swims in a boundless sea of opportunity and finally drowns because of his failure to latch onto a specific purpose. He tries to own the sea while the wise man selects a single purpose (opportunity/goal) and then pursue it with all his heart. The wise man understands the power of commitment and focused thought and is well rewarded. A person that lives in a safe, moderate middle of the road manner will never experience true living. How can you appreciate victory if you never tasted defeat? How can you appreciate good food if you never went hungry? Dare to go to the outer perimeters of your comfort zone and discover the true spirit of the pioneer. Flirt with failure and learn what passion is all about.

A true warrior accepts that struggles and challenges will assist him to become a formidable fighter. The fool is afraid of problems, challenges or setbacks and can thus never become a true warrior. The formidable fighter understands that challenges and struggles will be part of his life until his final day on this planet. The fool cries and moans every time life throws a curveball at him. Setbacks and failures are part of the training school of life.

A wise man is aware of his limitations. He spends most of his time doing what he naturally excels at and does not waste valuable time pursuing activities that obviously do not suit his style. Certain people can run like the wind and others excel academically. The less informed sees himself as a failure if he is not flawless in everything he does. A wise person is not the slave of his history. He came to the realisation that whatever happened in the past is history. Every moment is a new challenge. The fool is so entangled mentally with the failures and mistakes that he made historically that he is unable to do his best in the current moment. Wisdom is to forget about your history and to accept that the state of your current world is the only reality.

People love using people’s history against them. They shackle them to their history and in this manner prevent them from making a success of the now. All of us need recognition and acceptance. We might have a history of failures and disasters, but deep inside the flame of being special to someone continues to flicker in the dark recesses of our minds. You will select your words with much more care if you can understand this inherent need of people. You will take your own priorities out of the way for a while and rather focus on the dreams and aspirations of the people that share your journey on spaceship earth. Acceptance costs nothing and can be passed on with unbridled abundance.

All you have in life is the current moment. You can only live life one moment at a time. If you allow past mistakes and poor choices to infiltrate your current moment you are setting yourself up for failure. Most of us have made many poor choices since our early childhood. There is no purpose at all in replaying past mistakes made in the theatre of your mind.

Rene

 

You must retain your dignity and self-esteem at all times. You are not in the army and not a soldier that must obey all commands.

I CANNOT GIVE YOU THE FORMULA FOR SUCCESS, BUT I CAN GIVE YOU THE FORMULA FOR FAILURE – TRY TO PLEASE EVERYBODY

Herbert Bayard Swope

There is an inherent thing in most of us that often leads to our downfall. Most of us have this strong desire to be loved, respected and supported by everybody. During our formative years we usually do our level best to “win” the approval of those that have dominance over us. We soon learn that the intelligent thing to do is to remain on the “good side” of individuals like our (father, mother or teachers). We soon learn how to navigate activities in such a way that our “controllers” would approve of us. Approval meant the good stuff and disapprovals usually lead to pain and isolation.

Look around you and identify some of the things you still do to avoid potential conflicts or win the approval of people that are in an authority position over you. You will never walk up to your boss and tell him or her that you think he or she is a spineless peace of garbage. Most people will tolerate their boss’s tantrums and childish behaviour because they know that he is the one that is signing their pay cheque at the end of each month.

You will not go up to your father and tell him that he will only get your respect if he earns it. Most abused sons and daughters swallow their bitterness and disgust and play-act the role of the caring son or daughter or stay out of his way as much as possible.

You do not tell a police officer that it is obvious to you that he is an idiot and would not be able to find a chicken in a chicken pen even if his life depended on it. Most people try their best to win the approval of the people that they associate with. Most of us understand this “pecking order” thing and attempt not to get the individuals higher up in the pecking order to get upset with us.

We often preach to our children that we want honesty from them, but fail to be a good example ourselves. The children hear how their parents often moan about how the boss is always taking advantage of them at work, but also see and hear how they grovel when he or she comes for a visit or when they speak to him on the phone.

I ACCEPT AND UNDERSTAND THAT I CAN NEVER PLEASE ALL THE PEOPLE ALL THE TIME. I UNDERSTAND THAT LIFE IS NOT A POPULARITY CONTEST.

Life is not a popularity contest. You must retain your dignity and self-esteem at all times. You are not in the army and not a soldier that must obey all commands. There is no need to change into a rebel or a person that always swims upstream, but you can demand that others always treat you with respect.

Even when you made a mistake you still do not have to stand for the abuse of a person that is possibly taking advantage of your error. Even when you made a major mistake, it still does not give any person the right to shred your self-image and self-esteem. Remember people treat you the way you allow them to treat you.

If you mentally assume the “begging position” when you are faced with a person in a “power position” he or she will wipe the floors with you. Remember that you will never please all the people all the time. Some will love you and some will hate you even if you could walk on water.

It is a fallacy to think that you can win the approval of everybody that you meet. The most successful way to destroy your self-esteem is to attempt to win or retain the favour of everybody that you meet, work or live with.

Rene

 

Life is not a popularity contest.

I CANNOT GIVE YOU THE FORMULA FOR SUCCESS, BUT I CAN GIVE YOU THE FORMULA FOR FAILURE – TRY TO PLEASE EVERYBODY

Herbert Bayard Swope

There is an inherent thing in most of us that often leads to our downfall. Most of us have this strong desire to be loved, respected and supported by everybody. During our formative years we usually do our level best to “win” the approval of those that have dominance over us. We soon learn that the intelligent thing to do is to remain on the “good side” of individuals like our (father, mother or teachers). We soon learn how to navigate activities in such a way that our “controllers” would approve of us. Approval meant the good stuff and disapprovals usually lead to pain and isolation.

Look around you and identify some of the things you still do to avoid potential conflicts or win the approval of people that are in an authority position over you. You will never walk up to your boss and tell him or her that you think he or she is a spineless peace of garbage. Most people will tolerate their boss’s tantrums and childish behaviour because they know that he is the one that is signing their pay cheque at the end of each month.

You will not go up to your father and tell him that he will only get your respect if he earns it. Most abused sons and daughters swallow their bitterness and disgust and play-act the role of the caring son or daughter or stay out of his way as much as possible.

You do not tell a police officer that it is obvious to you that he is an idiot and would not be able to find a chicken in a chicken pen even if his life depended on it. Most people try their best to win the approval of the people that they associate with. Most of us understand this “pecking order” thing and attempt not to get the individuals higher up in the pecking order to get upset with us.

We often preach to our children that we want honesty from them, but fail to be a good example ourselves. The children hear how their parents often moan about how the boss is always taking advantage of them at work, but also see and hear how they grovel when he or she comes for a visit or when they speak to him on the phone.

 

I ACCEPT AND UNDERSTAND THAT I CAN NEVER PLEASE ALL THE PEOPLE ALL THE TIME. I UNDERSTAND THAT LIFE IS NOT A POPULARITY CONTEST.

 

Life is not a popularity contest. You must retain your dignity and self-esteem at all times. You are not in the army and not a soldier that must obey all commands. There is no need to change into a rebel or a person that always swims upstream, but you can demand that others always treat you with respect.

Even when you made a mistake you still do not have to stand for the abuse of a person that is possibly taking advantage of your error. Even when you made a major mistake, it still does not give any person the right to shred your self-image and self-esteem. Remember people treat you the way you allow them to treat you.

If you mentally assume the “begging position” when you are faced with a person in a “power position” he or she will wipe the floors with you. Remember that you will never please all the people all the time. Some will love you and some will hate you even if you could walk on water.

It is a fallacy to think that you can win the approval of everybody that you meet. The most successful way to destroy your self-esteem is to attempt to win or retain the favour of everybody that you meet, work or live with.

Rene