Every decision or choice you make and action you take, gives you the opportunity to create yourself and to discover whom you really are. On occasion, we are all submitted to adversity, disappointments and setbacks. What happens to you is not as important as how you respond to the situation. How you respond to a situation determines who you are going to become. It is through hardship and suffering that we grow, create and ‘re-member’ who we are. Suffering and pain enable us to develop certain virtues that lead to self-mastery. God did not invent suffering and it is not His intention to punish us. Suffering or hardship is not a curse and it does not indicate that you are an evil person. Those who ignore and contradict the Universal Laws are more likely to experience suffering. Suffering occurs when we suppress negative emotions and harbour grudges, resentment, anger or hatred.
“There is nothing wrong with God’s creation. Misery and suffering only exist in the mind.” Sri Ramana Maharshi |
It is important to make wise choices and to live in harmony with nature and the people in your immediate environment. There is grace in living in harmony with the Universal Laws. Discovering your authentic self and ‘re-membering’ who you really are, will enable you to live according to Universal Truths and to eventually overcome suffering. Suffering serves a purpose; it builds character and accumulates inner strength and wisdom. Most of the great Masters endured suffering, but they succeeded in transcending their emotional and physical pain. They disciplined their minds and this enabled them to transcend any form of suffering. They developed their divinity within, which is pure love and this led them on the path to eternal joy and inner peace. The Great Masters did not have material wealth, but they had emotional and spiritual health and ‘wellth’.
When faced with an adverse situation, it is important to figure out what you can learn from the situation. The moment you find something or somebody to blame for your suffering, you do not take responsibility for the situation and you disempower yourself. Putting the blame elsewhere deprives you of an opportunity to learn from the situation. The Divine knows what you need and what you need to learn. If you are not going to learn the lesson, it may take the universe several years to orchestrate a similar experience. Trust in the Divine and know that there is a higher purpose. The perpetrator was merely the instrument and in every adverse situation, there is the possibility of healing, a gift, the promise of growth and grace. Search for the advantages, benefits, lessons or gifts in adverse situations, forgive and move on with your life. There is nobility in losing, as long as you do not lose the lesson.
“I believe that all suffering is caused by ignorance.” – The Dalai Lama |
Pain and suffering in relationships, often result from wanting to use relationships for your own purposes and needs. If you want to define the relationship in a certain way or change the other person, you will encounter resistance. If you enslave a person, you will be enslaved, but if you free someone, you will be freed. The need to enchain or change a person means that you need to look within and identify your emotional wounds that are responsible for your inappropriate behaviour. The need to change a person indicates conditional acceptance. It may also indicate that you should rather not develop a close relationship with that person. Imposing your needs on another person means that you do not truly accept and love that person, because love is not conditional and prescriptive. Love provides others with a safe place to be themselves and allows them the latitude to be imperfect and to make mistakes.
Susan Minnaar
PORTABLE LIFE SKILLS DAILY WISDOM GUIDE 