Greed is good. War is inevitable. Whether in political theory or popular culture, human nature is often portrayed as selfish and power hungry. UC Berkeley psychologist Dacher Keltner challenges this notion of human nature and seeks to better understand why we evolved pro-social emotions like empathy, compassion and gratitude.
We’ve all heard the phrase ‘survival of the fittest’, born from the Darwinian theory of natural selection. Keltner adds nuance to this concept by delving deeper into Darwin’s idea that sympathy is one of the strongest human instincts — sometimes stronger than self-interest.
A man that cannot find enough compassion in his heart to forgive is a fool. We all make mistakes, but the fool continues trying to convince everybody that he is flawless. When you master the art of forgiveness you enter a safe harbour and gain peace of mind. An energy bubble surrounds each one of us. This energy field is charged by your predominant focus at any given moment in time. People can sense when anger, grief or revengeful thoughts are trapped in this energy field. You need to sanitize this invisible energy bubble that accompanies you wherever you go if you want to improve your health or lifestyle. Letting go of the past is a good place to start. The key to a clear energy field is forgiveness. Not only the forgiveness of others, but of yourself. Do not allow your past to hold you at ransom. Forgive yourself unconditionally and get on with the game of life. Even if the mistakes that you made in the past shook the world in its foundations you still need to put them behind you. Remember you are not the mistakes that you made. You are not your history. Let go of the past or unconditionally accept the current mediocre role or position that you are in. You cannot cross the bridge of life if you continue to keep your one foot on the yesterday’s side of the bridge. If you want to cleanse yourself you will have to forgive yourself unconditionally. You must see past mistakes as stepping-stones. There is nothing you can do about past mistakes and poor choices that you made. Forgive yourself and learn from your mistakes. Be gentle with yourself. Only when you can become your own best friend will you begin to make real progress in life. If you want to forgive a person for what he or she has done to you, you will need to erase his wrongdoings or no real forgiveness can take place.
WHAT PAIN OR PLEASURE WE LINK TO SITUATIONS AND PEOPLE DETERMINES HOW WE ACT AND REACT TO THEM. WE CANNOT ACT IN A MANNER THAT PROVOKES PAIN IN PEOPLE AND EXPECTS RESPECT, LOVE AND COMPASSION FROM THEM!
People move towards pleasure provoking experiences and away from pain provoking experiences. They move towards people that make them feel good and away from people that make them feel worthless and defective. This law must always be kept in mind if you want to influence people in a positive manner.
It will be idiotic to constantly say and do things that cause somebody pain and expect loyalty and dedication from such a person. How can you kick a person in the teeth and expect him or her to love and respect you? We might not always physically kick people, but some of the things we do, fail to do or say often cause more pain than a kick in the teeth.
Everything you do or refrain from doing is governed by your perception you have of such an event. If you, for example, find it difficult to motivate yourself to do something that you know needs to be done you will find “potential pain avoidance” at the root of your resistance. We usually select the potential pleasure route in all our actions and decisions. If we have any idea that we might be exposed to potentially pain we try our level best avoid such contacts.
Just think for a moment about this principle. When you see or think of certain people what reaction do they evoke in you? If a person activates any level of discomfort in you, you will always react and respond accordingly. An opinion is formed quickly and usually takes years to modify. Most people live their life according to this law or principal. Once they formed a perception about something or someone it takes a massive jolt to dislodge perceptions. Because we are pleasure-seeking entities we tend to run on tracks for the best part of our lives. We thus get stuck in a pattern and will continue to follow this path until the day we expire.
Leaders and champions are bold enough to break these patterns and confront their fears. They know that mediocre and substandard performances are caused by the avoidance of potential pain. You can never grow, learn and win while you remain in your comfort zone. It is only when you go beyond your comfort threshold that progress can be made.
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I WILL BECOME OUTCOME FOCUSED TODAY. I WILL DO THE THINGS I FEAR UNTIL IT LOSES ITS HOLD ON MY MIND!
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We often know what we need or want in life, but we hardly ever do something about it. The main reason for this is because we amplify the potential pain so much that it outweighs the potential pleasure that reaching our goal would provide us.
If you want to stop smoking or lose weight you have to make your perceived “outcome” so exciting and pleasure provoking that it will make the effort that will be needed to work through the potential pain part less dominant. You will never reach your desired objective while the fear of the pain outweighs the potential pleasure of the outcome. It is thus imperative that you desire your outcome more than the obstacle that you may encounter along the way. Only when you become excited and motivated about your outcome will you have enough staying power to hang in until the objective (pleasure) is achieved.
If you want to become influential, you will have to learn to use this law to your advantage. You will make it easy for people to be with you and do business with you. You will say and do things that will activate expectations of potential pleasure, not pain. All your actions and reactions must show people that you respect their point of view and that you are there to help them to achieve their own objectives. Always remember that most people you deal with are running on preconceived tracks or perceptions.
Mutual respect developed in relationships ensures sustainability and good quality choices. The key is to create a platform where parties can talk openly, without fear about observations, experiences and feelings. I sometimes find it almost humorous to hear from friends how their partner went crazy, hyperventilated and pulled out clumps of hair from his or her scalp after they share some bad news with him or her. A few dramatic performances by your partner after you share the less acceptable news with him/her usually convince you that this open and honest thing should be avoided at all cost. That is one of the main reasons why partners begin to hide stuff from each other. It might be a good idea to set down a few ground rules about this open and honest mode of operation before you agree to take it on board. You must build in an escape clause if your partner begins to show symptoms of a heart attack or start looking for a sharp knife in the kitchen. I am exaggerating but hope that you will accept that some ground rules must be put in place if one or both of the partners feel that honesty is the best policy. The best rule is to agree that you will bring in a “time out” period when any of the partners move away from a rational and objective communication style. You may find that one partner insists while he or she is foaming at the mouth that you conclude whatever you are busy talking about. My friend, take time out, even if you must dodge a few “flying saucers” on your way to your workshop. No problem, relationship or dispute has ever been solved amicably while one or both of the parties work in “crazy” mode. Showing respect and compassion is impossible while you jump up and down like a clown or make noises like a wounded buffalo. I thus suggest that you set some “playing” rules in this regard and avoid any engagement while upset or angry. Remember the “time out” rule if you want to master the art of dispute management.
We allow life and people to dictate our lives. We almost always fall short of their selfish requirements. Nothing in life that is worthwhile comes to us because we have a nice smile or a submissive attitude. We need to walk tall and go for our goals and dreams in a positive and decisive manner. It is silly to think that we will be treated with respect if we allow them to sweep the floors with us. There is a time to be warm, kind and flexible, but then there are occasions that we must walk tall, become strong and do what needs to be done. It is silly to think that life is fair. Many of us think that we must never lose our cool notwithstanding the ongoing attempts of someone to knock us down psychologically. Stuff will happen daily – deal with them in a decisive manner. A person on the spiritual path is not a weakling. It takes courage, stamina and people skills to make your way through the matrix of life. Our objective is to become love. Not roleplay our way to success, but grow and learn from the many experiences on offer daily to practice our theoretical knowledge that we read in a book somewhere. I am not promoting aggressive behaviour, but urge you to master the art of assertive self-defence.
This is one of the most powerful principles you can ever master. You can have all the skills in the world, but if you need this extremely important ingredient in any area of your life you will fail. A lack of staying power is deadly and often at the root of many of the problems we face. Please read this wisdom file for a week. Read it first thing in the morning and again just before you go to bed at night. Use the POWER WORDS daily and you will report a huge difference by the end of the week. You can have all the other skills in the world but will have to accept second best and mediocrity if you lack stamina and staying power until you one day master this key force that is waiting for you to push the go button.
STAMINA AND PERSISTENCE
Use the following method and power words when you feel that you are on the verge of giving up on something or someone. We have all been faced with situations where we came to the conclusion that we just cannot continue to sustain our effort. We know that it could be beneficial to hang in, but just seem to lack the physical and mental resolve to persist until we achieve a successful outcome.
One of the main reasons for failure is a lack of persistence. We live in a society where almost everything is “instant” and available on tap. This “instant” mentality robs many of us of lucrative advantages. Many of us are brilliant at starting activities, but poor at seeing them through.
The character of a person is displayed when he or she can grind something out until the desired outcome is achieved. We do not remember the fast starters in life. We recall those that finished the race. An iron will allow you to join a special group of people. They are the top two percent of the population of the planet. They are the leaders and trendsetters. They do not wait for things to happen, they make them happen. They love problems and challenges. Persistent people become legends while quitters become faded memories.
The foundation of quitters is made up of fear and doubt. They are the ones that can tell you endless stories of the “big one that got away.” They always blame something or someone for their poor track record.
Look around you at all the amazing innovations and technological marvels. You will discover that there are always individuals behind them that stuck to their dreams. A large percentage of students that start going to university never make the grade. A large percentage of relationships end up on the garbage heap because of poor persistence.
Many stores open their doors with massive hope and anticipation. The biggest percentage does not make it through their first two years. Would you like to go on an important trip if you knew that the engine of your vehicle tends to break down when least expected? You could end up in a desert with vultures circling overhead. It is a good thing that there are no vultures circling overhead when we fail or give up on some endeavour. I am obviously not including the lawyers that often feast on our failures.
Use the following method and power words the next time that you feel that you are ready to quit. Focus on the project or situation that is causing you to contemplate resignation and repeat the power word “rock”. You will soon feel that new energy is flowing into your system. You will change from the marshmallow man to the man of steel. You will mentally see how your “rock” grinds up the things that stand between you and ultimate success. Nothing can stop a person with a “rock” hard persistency. The “rock” people never consider quitting as one of the options available to them. They know that most people quit when the victory post is just around the next corner. They hammer opposing forces to a pulp.
Use this power word whenever you are faced with a situation where you feel that you are close to quitting. The moment that they begin to mentally or verbally repeat the power word “rock” they feel as if high-octane power fuel is rushing into their depleted fuel tanks. The key is to sustain a positive attitude and to repeat the power word “rock” as explained.
This tool can change your life. It can assist you in all areas of your life. Ad some “rock” to your foundation when it starts crumbling. Repeat the power word “rock” and begin to act and react like a person that knows where he is going. This power word can be used in all areas of your life. It can and will change your life and make you proud of that person that is looking back at you when you look in the mirror. The “rock” people do the stuff that the losers are either too afraid or too fragile to do.
Repeat this power word when you feel that you are running out of steam. Rock. Rock. Rock.
Possible other power words you can use: No guts no glory. No guts no glory. Crushproof. Crushproof. Lighthouse. Lighthouse.
Here’s a million-dollar secret I’ve never shared with anyone before. When you use it, you will get inside your prospects’ heads and manipulate their thinking to get them to do what you want—including sending you money right now for your product or service. Sound hard to believe? Keep reading and I’ll prove my point to you.
Right now, as you read these words, you are practising the very thing I’m going to describe. Centuries ago people read books by moving their lips. Over time—and probably due to complaints from the family—people learned to close their mouths. But virtually all people still read the letters you send them by saying the words in their head, almost as if they were speaking them out loud, but in reality, speaking only to themselves. You’re probably doing it right now.
You are, aren’t you? It doesn’t reflect anything about your intelligence. It’s how most of us read. I read more than most people and I still read the same way you do, “mouthing” the words in my head. It’s how most of us humans accept the written word. Relax. You’re normal.
Why is this important?
Because this is a way for you to plant hypnotic commands right into the skulls of people.
This is staggering power. When people read your sales letter, you are, in essence, right INSIDE the head of the very person you want to persuade. They are speaking your words—your commands, if you do this right—to themselves. You are in their “command centre.”
Think of the power you have!
Unless you’ve taken a speed reading course—which teaches you to scan pages and avoid seeing single words—you are like everyone else: Hearing what I want you to hear right now, in your own mind. In reality, I’m in your head! What am I going to make you do?! Buy my books? Hire me to write copy for you? Make you go out with me and do my bidding?
Hmmmmmm.
You can imagine the kind of power this gives me and can give you once you learn how to do it, too. And that’s what I am going to give you a quick-start lesson in:
How to control your prospect’s mind.
First: You need to accept that people are reading your sales letters (or ads, memos, email, web copy, etc.) by pronouncing your words in their heads. This means you are in the “forbidden zone” and ready to re-wire their brains.
Second: Keep in mind that as people read, they think. You are doing it right now and you have been doing it throughout this article. You are talking to yourself as you read. You are thinking.
People read your words and also ask questions as if you were there to answer them. Your job as a Hypnotic Writer is to anticipate those questions and answer them. Do so and people will follow your commands.
Are you with me? As I mentioned earlier, I’ve never discussed this concept before because I felt it was too damn powerful to release. But when Mark Joyner asked me to expand on the material in my best-selling “Hypnotic Writing” series of books, I figured I owed the man my ace in the hole.
Here it is!
And here’s how it works:
You write your sales letter with all the hypnotic writing skills you learned from my books. You use every trick you’ve learned to grab and hold attention, build desire, and lead to a strong close because you know that’s how you create truly hypnotic writing.
And AS you write, you are also asking yourself, “What is my reader thinking right now?” This is much like trying to handle objections in a traditional sales call. The difference is, you are doing this in writing. Your customer isn’t standing in front of you. He or she may be thousands of miles away.
But that person is reading your words—voicing those words of yours in their head—and that person is asking him or herself questions. Anticipate them and answer them and you will up the odds of creating a sales letter that easily persuades.
Let me explain this another way: Hypnotists know that you will obey their commands as long as you don’t already have a counter-suggestion in you to the contrary. They can tell you to “Go open the window,” and you will do just that UNLESS you have a counter-thought, such as, “But it’s cold outside” or “I don’t have a good reason to open the window.”
This same dynamic goes on inside your readers. You can tell them to “Send me money now for my new gizmo,” and they will do exactly that UNLESS they have counter-thoughts (read objections) in them. As you probably know, most of your readers will have counter-thoughts. Your job is to anticipate them and answer them and THEN give your command.
I use this little known hypnotic skill in all my sales letters.
I work hard to create a headline that relays a benefit in a curious way. I swear to write an opening that yanks attention from wherever it was, to my words. And then I use this “hypnotic dialogue process” to write the letter.
In other words, I write my letter while pretending to talk to one person about my product or service. In a real way, I’m talking to myself. As I “talk” on the page, I imagine what my prospect will ask next. It’s a dialogue in my mind. But the truth is, that same dialogue will end up in my prospect’s mind if I do this right. You’ve been doing it throughout this article. You’ve been reading my words and asking yourself questions. Right?
Throughout the writing of this article, I kept asking myself, “What will he ask?” By anticipating your questions, I could handle them in a persuasive way. I could, in short, lead you to my way of thinking and to doing what I want.
For example, right after my opening paragraph, I wrote, “Sound hard to believe?” I placed the question there because that’s probably exactly where you ASKED the question in your own mind. You read my opening lines—about my big promise to show you how to get people to send you money—and inside yourself, you said something like, “That’s pretty hard to believe. Prove it.”
And right there, right on cue, comes my question. I anticipated your thoughts and answered them by using the dialogue process. And what did I install in your mind while you were reading?
Go back through this article and see if you can find this “dialogue process” at work. And then notice what you do next because that action will reflect the command I secretly embedded in you. And now that your objections are handled, you have little choice but to act on it, or not.
Two things in life that are difficult to achieve:-
1. To plant your idea in someone’s head
2. To plant someone’s money in your own pocket
He who succeeds in planting his idea in someone’s head – we call Lao Shi (teacher)
He who succeeds in planting someone’s money in his own pocket – we call Lao Ban (boss)
The one who succeeds in both – we call Lao Po (wife) or Lao Qian (trickster)
The one who fails in both – we call Lao Gong (husband)
WISDOM OF CONFUCIUS
If you’ve ever been convinced by a salesperson that you truly wanted a product, done something too instinctively, or made choices that seemed entirely out of character, then you’ve had an idea planted in your mind. Here’s how it’s done.
Before we get started, it’s worth noting that planting an idea in someone’s mind without them knowing is a form of manipulation. We’re not here to judge you, but this is the sort of thing most people consider evil, so you probably shouldn’t actually do anything you read here. Instead, use this information to stay sharp.
If you’ve seen the film Inception, you might think that planting an idea in someone’s mind is a difficult thing to do. It’s not. It’s ridiculously easy and it’s tough to avoid. We’re going to take a look at some of the ways it can work.
Reverse Psychology Actually Works
Reverse psychology has become an enormous cliché. I think this peaked in 1995 with the release of the film Jumanji. (If you’ve seen it and remember it, you know what I’m talking about.)
The problem is that most people look at reverse psychology in a very simple way. For example, you’d say “I don’t care if you want to go risk your life jumping out of a plane” to try and convince someone not to go skydiving. This isn’t reverse psychology — it’s passive-aggressive. So let’s leave that all behind and start from scratch.
If you’re going to use logic reversals in your favour, you need to be subtle. Let’s say you want your roommate to do the dishes because it’s his or her turn. There’s always this approach:
“Hey, would you mind doing the dishes? It’s your turn.”
But in this example, we’re assuming your roommate is lazy and the nice approach isn’t going to get the job done. So what do you do? Something like this:
“Hey, I’ve decided I don’t want to do the dishes anymore and am just going to start buying disposable stuff. Is that cool with you? If you want to give me some money, I can pick up extras for you, too.”
What this does is present the crappy alternative to not doing the dishes without placing any blame. Rather than being preoccupied with an accusation, your roommate is left to only consider the alternative. This is how reverse psychology can be effective, so long as you say it like you mean it.
Never Talk About the Idea — Talk Around It
Getting someone to want to do something can be tough if you know they’re not going to want to do it, so you need to make them believe it was their idea. This is a common instruction, especially for salespeople, but it’s much easier said than done. You have to look at planting ideas in the same way you’d look at solving a mystery. Slowly but surely you offer the target a series of clues until the obvious conclusion is the one you want. The key is to be patient because if you rush through your “clues” it will be obvious. If you take it slow, the idea will form naturally in their mind all by itself.
Let’s say you’re trying to get your friend to eat healthier food. This is a good aim, but you’ve got a tough enemy: they’re addicted to the Colonel and need a bucket of fried chicken at least once a day. Out of concern, you tell them to eat healthier. They either think that’s a good idea and then never do anything or just tell you to stop nagging them. For them to realize what they’re doing to their body, they need to have an epiphany and you can make that happen by talking around the issue.
To do this you need to be very clever and very subtle, otherwise, it will be obvious. You can’t just say “oh, I read today that fried chicken is killing 10 million children in Arkansas every year” because that’s a load of crap and comes with an incredibly obvious motivation for saying it. If chicken is the target, you need to make chicken seem really unappealing. Next time you sneeze, make a joke about coming down with the avian flu. When you’re ordering at a restaurant together, verbally convey your decision to order something other than chicken because you just learned how the most chicken is processed by restaurants.
When you’ve done enough of these things — and, again, with enough space between them so that it doesn’t seem like odd behaviour — you can start being a little more aggressive and stop going with your friend to get fried chicken. You can also take proactive steps to improve your own health and tell your friend 1) what you’re doing, and 2) how well it’s working for you. After a few weeks, if your friend hasn’t decided to reconsider his or her position on frequent fried chicken, you can casually mention it and they should be much more open to having a real discussion.
Undersell
Underselling is probably one of the easiest and most effective ways to plant an idea in someone’s mind. This is another version of reverse psychology but at a less aggressive level. Let’s say you’re trying to sell someone a hard drive. They could buy a 250GB, 500GB, or 1TB hard drive. You want to sell the largest hard drive possible because those cost more and mean more money for you. Your buyer is coming in with the idea that they want to spend the least money possible. You’re not going to get very far by telling them they should spend more money when you know they don’t want to. Instead, you need to cater to what they want: the cheap option. Here’s a sample dialogue:
Buyer: Can you tell me about this 250GB hard drive? I want to make sure it will work for me.
You: What kind of computer do you have and what do you want to use it for?
Buyer: I have a 2-year old Windows laptop and I need it to store my photos. I have about 30GB of photos.
You: 250GB is definitely more than enough for just storing your photos, so as long as you don’t have many more files you might want to put onto the drive it should be just fine for your needs.
This last sentence instils doubt in the buyer. You could even add “you’d only need a larger drive if you wanted to be absolutely sure you’ll have enough space in the future” but that might be pushing it a little bit. The point is if you appear to have their best interests at heart it can be easy to make them think they want to buy more from you.
Again, I’d like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that planting ideas in the minds of others is not necessarily a nice thing to do. Use this information to detect when someone’s doing it to you and not necessarily as a guide to do it to somebody else.
The message in this interview with Will Smith is brilliant. Unfortunately, the audio is a bit rough and it’s difficult to hear, so below this video, we have transcribed the full text. The video begins with the interviewer asking a question related to the book The Power of Positive Thinking, and then Will Smith takes over with a passionate speech about the power of the human will.
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Will Smith: It’s interesting – as an actor, I search for the one thing that I connect to with the character. Whether it’s, you know… before I play a character I want to build on one thing – what is the one connective idea, that connective tissue between myself and this character that I can have.
And Chris (Chris Gardner, writer of The Pursuit of Happiness) and I were both raised in very spiritual households, and we both believe – whole-heartedly – that our thoughts, our feelings, our dreams, our ideas, are physical in the universe.
That, if we dream something, if we picture something, and we commit ourselves to it, that that is a physical thurst towards the realization that we can put into the universe.
That the universe is not a thing that is going to push us around. That the world, and people, and situations are not something that is going to push us around.
That we are going to bend the universe, and command, and demand that the universe become what we want it to be.
And that links back to a very spiritual upbringing. For me it was my mother and grandmother, and… for Chris, it was his mother, and there’s a term that Chris always uses — I want to get it right, Chris, you called it, uh – Spiritual Genetics.
That, there is a spirit of a person – and he feels that it was his mother – he has this spiritual genetics that his mother embodied, and that is the idea that was my … the first connective tissue that I connected to with Chris.
Someone asked me a question – I was in Europe a few weeks ago promoting the movie – and the person asked me what is my preoccupation with happy endings, right? And, you know, if there’s one thing that people would walk away from this movie with, that would be my deepest hope…
And I was sort of thrown by that a little bit, you know, am I preoccupied with happy endings? And, the tone was that that was unrealistic, and the question threw me because I feel like “don’t we all want to a happy ending?”
Like is anyone sitting out there right now like “damn, I hope I get hit by a car when I go outside? You know life’s too good I just want someone to run me the hell over when I go outside!”
I feel like, the first thing – YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE IT. Right? Like, you’ve got to believe that you can be married happily for 50 years if you ever expect to be married happily for 50 years. Like, you can’t talk about how unrealistic it is to be married happily for 50 years and expect it to happen.
It’s unrealistic to walk into a room and flip a switch and lights come on… that’s unrealistic. Fortunately, Edison didn’t think so. It’s unrealistic to… (audience member interrupts with some shouting to which Will jokingly responds “Security!”)
It’s unrealistic to think that you’re going to bend a piece of metal and fly people over an ocean in that metal. That’s unrealistic, but fortunately, the Wright brothers and others didn’t believe that. And it just seems like such a ridiculous idea to me to embrace the idea that “it’s not going to happen,” and “that’s not really for that to happen.”
As soon as you say it, now you just made that real, you know? I connect it to… also with racism. People ask me about racism in Hollywood. Why would I acknowledge racism? When you acknowledge the obstacle you actually give it power by the acknowledgement of it.
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I AM GONNA WALK THROUGH IT, I AM GONNA WALK OVER IT, I AM GONNA WALK AROUND IT!
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So I would say that my preoccupation is with the power that we all possess individually, and I refuse to relinquish my power. So my preoccupation with a happy ending is that is our power to believe in that possibility is our power and don’t give it away to anybody.
Detachment is a powerful tool when used for self-defense. You must allow the poisonous comments, remarks, criticism and condemnation of others flow past you like water that rolls off a duck’s back. If you experience pain or hurt after you tried to “detach” it indicates that you are still absorbing the criticism etc. with your mind and failed to apply real “non-action” and “detachment”. You are the power source of the events that cause you discomfort. You must stop living your life on a reactive basis. Stop feeding the flames of a desire. Accept what is and look for the lesson that your teacher brought to you today. Those that cause you to worry and pain are your teachers.
I mentioned in previous posts in this series that you are flooded with an endless range of distractions daily. You are also snowed under by mountains of information. We are exposed to more information in one week than our grandparents were exposed to in their entire lifetime. The distractions via magazines, newspapers, advertisements, financial pressures, and work obligations rain down relentlessly on all of us. We are so busy trying to survive and cope with the onslaughts that we became totally disconnected from our original objective when we arrived in this dimension. Our main objective was to wake up to the fact that we are one with the God force. Please note we were never disconnected from this force. We were conned into believing that God got pissed off with our original parents because they allowed a snake that mastered the art of ventriloquism to con them into eating some kind of forbidden fruit. I know it sounds absurd, but this myth forms the center pillar in most religious movements. We must master the art of DETACHMENT from the endless DISTRACTIONS that we allow ourselves to get involved in. A good example is the endless flow of news, national and international that we are exposed to daily. Most if not all of the news that we absorb and react to daily is nothing more than distractions. How does the breaking news that some or other celebrity developed a pimple on her nose become important to you? Sit for a moment the next time you watch the news and see what percentage of the nonsense dished up will impact or change anything in your life. Every morsel of news attempts to push your buttons so you will in a sheep like manner come back for more of their sensation drenched material that they dish up daily. Who cares how many goals a team that you never heard of scored in last night’s game? How can you play any role in preventing Europe to go bankrupt? What can you do about the ship that is busy sinking off the coast of Africa with thousands of people on board? My friend, it might be a tragedy, but you can make no contribution to or change most of the stuff you see on the news or listen to on the radio. Shops have wall to wall shelves with an endless range of magazines that focus on and incessant variety of stuff. How will the soppy story of a well-known singing idol that almost got robbed put food on your table? You might be a walking encyclopedia with a massive memory base on an endless range of subjects, but how will your knowledge about setting traps in the Amazon enhance the quality of your life? The key to our awakening is to discover the endless list of things that we react to daily. Our emotions jump up and down and our mood swings like crazy because of our habitual reaction patterns. We have become like sponges that suck in any old shit that hit our senses. Someone told a mutual friend that she is sure that you are an idiot. Your friend shares this piece of worthless information with you. You feel betrayed and in turn, share some gossip about the perpetrator that will make him or her look like a gutter rat. Can you see how much time we spend on absolutely worthless activities? We RESIST and fight our fingers to the bone. We act as if we are some kind of system that can be remote controlled. The people out there, the news, magazines etc. push our buttons and we faithfully respond as expected. How about DETACHING and refraining from feeling, thinking or acting for a while? OBSERVE the incoming data and then let it go. Stop the stupid habit of enrolling as a punching bag that absorbs all the punishment that all the sources mentioned above dish out to you. You are not a hero or martyr when you stand there and let the pot-shots of life bounce off your head. Someone shares some of the latest nonsense that Malema uttered yesterday. How about a rare moment of NON-ACTION for a change? When you are faced with something that you can do absolutely nothing about, just let it go. Become water and let it flow over and around you. You will not stop a charging bull with your body. Why then attempt to stop all the onslaughts with your emotions? Let whatever was said or what happened slide by and cause no damage. Do the same with your thoughts. Stop thinking up all the fears and anxieties you can dream up about the future for a while. Learn to say, “Fuck the past” and stop reshuffling your historical failures. Detach from your past and know that every moment is a new moment that provides you an opportunity to make a fresh start.
Become still for a moment and think how wonderful it will be if you rid yourself of the desire to judge, control, influence and act and react to the many distractions that come your way daily. Try for a single day to be just you and nothing else. Try not to play the role of a father, mother, child, shopper, manager etc. Just let go of any emotions that stir in you when you are confronted with the usual avalanche of activities (newspapers, magazines, TV etc. Become water and let everybody be who they decide to be at any given moment. Let the ownership of their emotions like anger, criticism, judgment etc. remain in their possession. Do not respond (internally or externally), just relax and go with the flow. You have no obligation to suck in the pollution produced by people. Smile – detach and wish them well.
Many of us frequently go through RELATIONSHIP problems or we would love to FIND a more satisfying relationship than our current existing relationship. We often enroll in relationship building programs, read books about relationship building, cry on family members shoulders, meditate under waterfalls and learn why the author claim that woman are from Venus and men from MARS. All these efforts are usually to no avail. The reason why strategies and methods fail to produce sustained SUCCESSFUL outcomes is that we remain focused on the outcomes we desire and forget that the CORE CAUSES need to be addressed. This is the main reason why relationship repairs after ugly disputes that sometimes ended up in separations or divorce often soon return. All the good intentions in the world cannot be sustained until the CORE CAUSES are addressed and removed. LOVE alone cannot overcome the inherent defective and contaminated CORE CAUSES. Relationships can only be repaired and sustained if both parties address and rectify the fundamental CORE CONTAMINATION that they import into their RELATIONSHIP.
When a miner starts the day deep underground he often works under very testing and dangerous conditions. When the prostitute waits for the phone to ring so she can sell her body she also often works under very dangerous conditions. Her life can suddenly change to a lifetime of pain, drugs, and humiliation. When some black workers rise in the morning hours long before dawn to make their way to work, often in bitterly cold conditions or pouring rain in overpacked trains and buses it takes courage and determination. When a doctor works long hours to care for the sick it displays the invisible force that controls most of the choices we make. This force is money. Every person that does anything attempt to exchange whatever skills he or she might have for a financial reward. Some earn just enough to finance their families for another month. The endless grind to earn an income starts soon after we leave school and will probably continue until we leave this plane of existence.
The merciless cycle of trying to make it financially for one more day, week or month takes up most of our waking hours. There is no guarantee that the source of our income will be sustained. Companies close down and recessions often pulverize those that pay us. We are one of the millions of cogs in this financial machine that feed the overall financial system. There are two factors that we often try to ignore while we are still productive. The first is that we might die too soon and the second is that we might live too long.
Money starvation is like a python that curls its powerful coils around us. The longer we are trapped in these coils the less our chance of recovery. Our frantic struggle to escape often allows this snake to tighten its hold on us. We initially fight like a tiger, but soon discover that the financial system has us in a deadly embrace. We rush to the bank and attempt to loan some money or get an overdraft facility. We pray that a miracle will happen that will assist us to evade the claws of the money lenders. The direct and indirect finance charges bestowed on those that dared to seek relief are suffocating and amplify the original problem many times. Those that lived too long often feel that they should have allowed the coils of the python to rather crush them to death.
Our natural instinct is to run away from potential danger or pain. Financial problems leave its victims helpless and stripped of their dignity. There is often nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. We reach out for help, but soon discover that our friends and those that we owe money treat us like a person that carries some dreaded disease.
We are all part of a system where we like worker bees keep the financial system going. We are only worth something and deemed beneficial while we can produce what the hive needs to survive, expand and grow. The system was designed so that we not only work like crazy to sustain the hive but at the same time produce future generations that can take our place when we die or lose our ability to serve the hive. This heartless system will continue to evolve and grow with or without us.
My advice to you is to attempt to build a reserve fund while you are young so you can ride the storms that will come your way while you play the game of life. Make provision to counter the winter periods that most of us are faced with periodically or you will become a statistic in a system that feels nothing for those that run into financial problems, live too long and become too frail and tired to maintain the pace. The system will use and sometimes abuse you until you reached a stage where you no longer serve a productive purpose. Self-sufficiency will help you to retain your dignity. You will then with mixed feelings one day look back on your life and be proud of the work you have done while still a healthy work bee.
Our objective when we visit this plane is not to become rich and drive around in our fancy cars. The law of attraction creates the impression that you can materialize anything your heart desire. This law is powerful but can also become a major distraction. Your objective is to find out “Who are you” and establish what will be the best way you can expand your consciousness. Chasing after stuff and status can take up valuable time. You may end up rich and successful but remain poor in spirit. There are many distractions that will prevent you from using your experiences and problems as part of your learning experience. You do not come to this plane to make your Avatar better, richer and smarter. Your Avatar is nothing more than a container that houses your perfect self (soul). You are not your ego. It takes a lot of effort to wake up to the fact that you are not your body (Avatar) or history.
Your Avatar is not who you are. Your Avatar is nothing more than a self-perception that you formed of yourself since birth. You are thus not the worker bee that I wrote about earlier. You are a spiritual being that came to one of the most challenging schools in all the universes. You might end up poor at the end of your earth cycle, but rich in the evolution of your consciousness while you successfully confronted the many challenges and obstacles that formed part of your training. I suggest you detach from the dread, disappointments and challenges that you confronted with and remain focused on your real mission (to become love) while you visit earth dimension.
Love is the most powerful energy source in the universe. Our objective is to expand our ability to love. Love rapidly expands our consciousness while dread, hate, and fear, in turn, erode our consciousness. It is impossible to love while you remain in the hive of life playing the silly games that your Avatar tends to get involved in. The solution is to deal with challenges, obstacles, and problems on a moment to moment basis. Stop viewing challenges as punishment and see them as part of your schooling.
We sometimes find it very difficult to understand or accept why something happened to us. We even sometimes blame God for our loss or pain. More often than not, we lose in one area and gain in another. We are sometimes so busy mourning our loss that we fail to see the new sprout that made its appearance in our garden of life. Life is in a state of flux all the time. Look at a house that is not well maintained. It soon shows serious wear and tears. The same process is at work in all other areas of our lives. We are either busy gaining or losing. There is no zone where your success status is permanently frozen
My mood was cold, dark, and directionless. My tortured mind was filled with thoughts of missed opportunities and broken promises.
The cutting wind on my unshaven face made my eyes water and drove the dark clouds of depression into my shattered soul.
The years slipped by like fleeting dreams. Moments of joy and victory came and vanished like the waves of the ocean pulverized on the black rocks of sadness.
I looked up and noticed the sheets of rain that endlessly poured its gift of life and growth in all directions.
A thought darted into my tired defeated mind. I suddenly noticed how nature shares her abundance with everyone and everything.
Mother Nature is not selective when she sends gifts of rain and sunshine to feed, nourish and rejuvenate everything with a smattering of life at their core.
These gifts of life are given to the seeds that are still sleeping in the soil. The dark scorched earth will soon put on a new coat of color and in turn pass on these gifts of life to the bees, birds and everything else that waited patiently on Mother Nature to return as she has done since the beginning of time.
I suddenly understood that it is mankind’s inability to give unconditionally that is responsible for the inequality that drips off this planet like black wax from a candle.
Our homes are filled to the brim with stuff, but we want more, better, faster and the latest. Something inside us drives us like a hungry pack of wolves forward in our quest to feed our greedy ego.
There is no time for compassion in our busy lives. Poverty stares at us on every corner, but we are so obsessed with our own little world that we never notice that cold and hungry child on the corner of the street or a mother that worked her hands to the bone to serve us where we sit in our artificial castles sipping our wine of success.
The clouds of gloominess gradually lifted from my bowed shoulders. I knew what Mother Nature came to teach me in this dark night of my soul. She came to teach me about compassion and gratitude. She showed me that I must learn to give unconditionally and abundantly if I want to make a contribution to life on this planet.
I noticed that the sun began to break through the clouds announcing that the rain moved on to go and do some more teaching down the road. A rainbow suddenly appeared on the horizon. I slowly got up, wiped the water from my face, pushed back my shoulders with new hope in my heart against the backdrop of the singing of the birds that were thanking Mother Nature in advance for the new gifts that she will bring the next time she pays us a visit. She will like before pour her gifts on the rich and the poor, on those that have in abundance and those that have virtually nothing. She deposits her gifts on everyone regardless of their status, race or career and knows that a time will come when mankind has evolved enough to grasp that we are one and an extension of her.
The wholesome image of yoga took a hit in the past few weeks as a rising star of the discipline came tumbling back to earth. After accusations of sexual impropriety with female students, John Friend, the founder of Anusara, one of the world’s fastest-growing styles, told followers that he was stepping down for an indefinite period of “self-reflection, therapy and personal retreat.”
Mr. Friend preached a gospel of gentle poses mixed with openness aimed at fostering love and happiness. But Elena Brower, a former confidante, has said that insiders knew of his “penchant for women” and his love of “partying and fun.”
Few had any idea about his sexual indiscretions, she added. The apparent hypocrisy has upset many followers.
“Those folks are devastated,” Ms. Brower wrote in The Huffington Post. “They’re understandably disappointed to hear that he cheated on his girlfriends repeatedly” and “lied to so many.”
But this is hardly the first time that yoga’s enlightened facade has been cracked by sexual scandal. Why does yoga produce so many philanderers? And why do the resulting uproars leave so many people shocked and distraught?
Yoga began as a Sex Cult
One factor is ignorance. Yoga teachers and how-to books seldom mention that the discipline began as a sex cult — an omission that leaves many practitioners open to libidinal surprise.
Hatha yoga — the parent of the styles now practiced around the globe — began as a branch of Tantra. In medieval India, Tantra devotees sought to fuse the male and female aspects of the cosmos into a blissful state of consciousness.
The rites of Tantric cults, while often steeped in symbolism, could also include group and individual sex. One text advised devotees to revere the female sex organ and enjoy vigorous intercourse. Candidates for worship included actresses and prostitutes, as well as the sisters of practitioners.
Hatha originated as a way to speed the Tantric agenda. It used poses, deep breathing and stimulating acts — including intercourse — to hasten rapturous bliss. In time, Tantra and Hatha developed bad reputations. The main charge was that practitioners indulged in sexual debauchery under the pretext of spirituality.
Early in the 20th century, the founders of modern yoga worked hard to remove the Tantric stain. They devised a sanitized discipline that played down the old eroticism for a new emphasis on health and fitness.
B. K. S. Iyengar, the author of Light on Yoga, published in 1965, exemplified the change. His book made no mention of Hatha’s Tantric roots and praised the discipline as a panacea that could cure nearly 100 ailments and diseases. And so modern practitioners have embraced a whitewashed simulacrum of Hatha.
But over the decades, many have discovered from personal experience that the practice can fan the sexual flames. Pelvic regions can feel more sensitive and orgasms more intense.
The Science of Tantric Sex
Science has begun to clarify the inner mechanisms. In Russia and India, scientists have measured sharp rises in testosterone — a main hormone of sexual arousal in both men and women. Czech scientists working with electroencephalographs have shown how poses can result in bursts of brainwaves indistinguishable from those of lovers.
More recently, scientists at the University of British Columbia have documented how fast breathing — done in many yoga classes — can increase blood flow through the genitals. The effect was found to be strong enough to promote sexual arousal not only in healthy individuals but among those with diminished libidos.
In India, recent clinical studies have shown that men and women who take up yoga report wide improvements in their sex lives, including enhanced feelings of pleasure and satisfaction as well as emotional closeness with partners.
At Rutgers University, scientists are investigating how yoga and related practices can foster autoerotic bliss. It turns out that some individuals can think themselves into states of sexual ecstasy — a phenomenon known clinically as spontaneous orgasm and popularly as “thinking off.”
The Rutgers scientists use brain scanners to measure the levels of excitement in women and compare their responses with readings from manual stimulation of the genitals. The results demonstrate that both practices light up the brain in characteristic ways and produce significant rises in blood pressure, heart rate and tolerance for pain — what turns out to be a signature of orgasm.
Since the baby boomers discovered yoga, the arousal, sweating, heavy breathing and states of undress that characterize yoga classes have led to predictable results. In 1995, sex between students and teachers became so prevalent that the California Yoga Teachers Association deplored it as immoral and called for high standards.
“We wrote the code,” Judith Lasater, the group’s president, told a reporter, “because there were so many violations going on.”
The Problem with Gurus
If yoga can arouse everyday practitioners, it apparently has similar, if not greater, effects on gurus — often charming extroverts in excellent physical condition, some enthusiastic for veneration.
The misanthropes among them offer a bittersweet tribute to yoga’s revitalizing powers. A surprising number, it turns out, were in their 60s and 70s.
Swami Muktananda (1908-82) was an Indian man of great charisma who favored dark glasses and gaudy robes. At the height of his fame, around 1980, he attracted many thousands of devotees — including movie stars and political celebrities — and succeeded in setting up a network of hundreds of ashrams and meditation centers around the globe. He kept his main shrines in California and New York.
In late 1981, when a senior aide charged that the venerated yogi was, in fact, a serial philanderer and sexual hypocrite who used threats of violence to hide his duplicity, Mr. Muktananda defended himself as a persecuted saint, and soon died of heart failure.
Joan Bridges was one of his lovers. At the time, she was 26 and he was 73. Like many other devotees, Ms. Bridges had a difficult time finding fault with a man she regarded as a virtual god beyond law and morality.
“I was both thrilled and confused,” she said of their first intimacy in a Web posting. “He told us to be celibate, so how could this be sexual? I had no answers.”
To denounce the philanderers would be to admit years of empty study and devotion. So many women ended up blaming themselves. Sorting out the realities took years and sometimes decades of pain and reflection, counseling, and psychotherapy. In time, the victims began to fight back.
Swami Satchidananda (1914-2002) was a superstar of yoga who gave the invocation at Woodstock. In 1991, protesters waving placards (“Stop the Abuse,” “End the Cover Up”) marched outside a Virginia hotel where he was addressing a symposium.
“How can you call yourself a spiritual instructor,” a former devotee shouted from the audience, “when you have molested me and other women?”
Another case involved Swami Rama (1925-96), a tall man with a strikingly handsome face. In 1994, one of his victims filed a lawsuit charging that he had initiated abuse at his Pennsylvania ashram when she was 19. In 1997, shortly after his death, a jury awarded the woman nearly $2 million in compensatory and punitive damages.
So, too, former devotees at Kripalu, a Berkshire’s ashram, won more than $2.5 million after its longtime guru — a man who gave impassioned talks on the spiritual value of chastity — confessed to multiple affairs.
The drama with Mr. Friend is still unfolding. So far, at least 50 Anusara teachers have resigned, and the fate of his enterprise remains unclear. In his letter to followers, he promised to make “a full public statement that will transparently address the entirety of this situation.”
The angst of former Anusara teachers is palpable. “I can no longer support a teacher whose actions have caused irreparable damage to our beloved community,” Sarah Faircloth, a North Carolina instructor, wrote on her Web site.
But perhaps — if students and teachers knew more about what Hatha can do, and what it was designed to do — they would find themselves less prone to surprise and un yogalike distress.
It feels like passing out a loaded gun to every random stranger that passes by.
In the wrong hands, it could be very dangerous.
But when I think about it, it’s already in the wrong hands. The hands of con artists and cult leaders and politicians. And there is no way to take that power from them except to make everyone else aware of it.
Have you ever thought—I mean really thought—about the power of language? Most of us take it for granted. Not only as a tool to tell our families we love them, or to ask where the bathroom is, or to get anything done at all, but as the only way to transmit complex ideas.
It can take a whole book to explain one concept but assign a name to that concept within the book, and you create a shortcut. Then, if a person has read that book, you can speak one word that conjures up an entire world in their mind.
Quixotic is a simpler example; in Don Quixote, Cervantes (albeit unintentionally) created a word which combined two previously separate ideas: chivalrous and foolish.
Back in 1948, “big brother” meant nothing but “older male sibling.” Then Orwell came out in 1984 and more than 60 years later, we still use the phrase to mean an all-seeing, all-powerful totalitarian government.
Or take the word hnau from C.S. Lewis’s Out of the Silent Planet, used to differentiate between animals and intelligent lifeforms in a universe where humans are not the only intelligent lifeforms. That’s an inadequate explanation because the distinction involves far more than intelligence, or even spirit or soul—you’ll have to read the book to understand it.
Point: words are more than labels. Words are the means of wrapping big ideas in small packages so we can hand them off to each other almost effortlessly. Collapsible concepts. Portable philosophy.
This is possibly one of the most powerful things on earth. Why?
Because you can use it to change the way people think.
Take a simple example. Consider the difference between the synonyms said and claimed. “Bob said he saw Linda at the store,” is neutral. But change it to “Bob claimed he saw Linda at the store,” and suddenly you doubt Bob’s honesty.
Or go the opposite direction and put “Bob confirmed he saw Linda at the store,” and suddenly the statement is fact.
Now apply it to one of our portable philosophies. Say there’s been a break-in at your condominium and the homeowners’ association votes to put up security cameras in all the corridors so they can monitor who goes in and out of every condo. The cameras go up and everyone feels a lot safer. Then somebody graffitis “BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU” on the wall beneath one camera. Suddenly you’re conjuring up images of emotionless masses in jumpsuits being presided over by a giant television screen that never shuts off. Suddenly you’re worried a little less about security and a little more about privacy. And the next time someone proposes a measure “for added security,” you’re a little slower to agree. You might flat-out oppose it.
Why does it take a whole book to explain?
It only took me six words to define Big Brother at the beginning of this post. So why aren’t we creating collapsible concepts left and right? Because it has to be more than a label. If we’re going to remember it later, it needs to strike a chord with us. It takes the emotional journey of Winston Smith to solidify Big Brother in our minds. That’s the power of stories.
Of course, chances are, you knew what Big Brother meant even if you haven’t read 1984—even if it never “struck a chord” with you. That’s because it struck a chord with so many other people that it became iconic. That’s the power of stories on a world-changing scale.
Obviously, this doesn’t happen every time anybody writes a book.
But it can happen.
Remember that next time you’re reading a dystopian novel, or watching the news, or starting a new paragraph in your WIP. Listen carefully—and write even more carefully.
Mr. Trump is and has been under unbelievable attack since the day that he announced that he is ready to enter the race to become the president of the US. It was mind-blowing for me when I noticed the often devious and unfair obstacles that were placed in his path. Enemies crawled out of the woodwork that did their level best to sabotage this man and prevent him from achieving success. He was not only attacked by the media and opposition but surrounded by various players of his own party that made it their objective to poison and contaminate his image every step of his journey. What I found was that a few were brave enough to attack him in the open while others selected to try and stop him using very devious methods. Subliminal and psychological methods were used and are still used daily.
There are many in the media, opposition and in his own party that could not find a single thing that he said did or achieved that remotely satisfied them. Mr. Trump according to these operators cannot walk, talk, smile or even eat without these individual finding something negative that they let loose in the public domain.
There are TV services that allow so-called “experts” to present the most comical and flawed conclusions about him. Their comments are often toxic messages that were made up by using snippets of something he said to support a specific point of view. These experts that smugly sit and voice these comments are without any doubt working for his opposition. Do a test and you will find that many of these individuals have not once make a comment that might imply that he might have a valid point that he made. In an attempt to fool the public they sometimes bring in one of his supporters to counter what the panel is claiming. You will notice that this supporter get a fraction of the time available to defend Mr. Trump. I have no idea if is a planned strategy to then allow all the against Trump commentators to swamp his/her voice with meaningless interjections. You will notice the same old anti-Trump players in most of these panels.
Have you noticed how suggestions are used to endlessly repeat certain doubt creating comments? The favorite one they use is that Mr. Trump is just not qualified and do not have the temperament to hold the highest post in the land. This message goes out 24/7 in an attempt to fix this mindset in the minds of those that dare to look at their news services. Certain clips that show a fraction of what he said are played over and over during their shows. By using these partial clips the perception is left with viewers that he is erratic and highly aggressive. They use these clips to support their half-truths and often outright lies. They use these clips to gradually degrade and dismantle his image in the eyes of potential voters. I for the life of me often hoped that he will walk away from this slanted and carefully choreographed circus. All I can say to Mr. Trump is that they do not want a strong leader and a person that threaten the endless and outdated system that for years now failed to address the vital issues that need modification or eradication. Those in power will use anything possible to keep you from taking control and change the broken system. They want more of the same and fear change. There are many that fear for the jobs and their position in the current administration. Courage to tell it like it is evading them. Mr. Trump, it is not the enemy that you can confront, but those that hide behind their massive egos that you must protect yourself. I am still convinced that you will win this thing. Tell those that oppose you that you are going to make it with or without them. You will then go down as a true champion that overcame massive the odds against you. I do not think that anybody that ever ran for office had to face the onslaughts and attacks that you are faced with daily.
My experience is that in traveling the world, especially in India, especially living in America, and especially being a fairly well-off person, I get to see the rich side, the poor side; all sides.
Rich or poor, regardless of nationality or ethnicity, there’s dissatisfaction everywhere. The world can give us an infinite variety of ways in which to convince us not to be happy.
More often than not, though, people make themselves dissatisfied, and this is because people have a tendency to think that if you’re satisfied, given all the reasons in the world and in our personal and financial lives not to be satisfied, then something must be wrong with you. It means you’re either asleep at the wheel, a slacker, or just downright unmotivated.
Society tells us to think that you should never be satisfied to just exist where you’re at, especially if you’re not doing so well when it comes to money.
I’m here to tell you, though, that it doesn’t matter how poor, or lonely, or entrapped, or whatever you are that you’re not happy with at the moment. If you can’t be satisfied with your station in life now, you never will be.
I’ve heard people in my classes go, “Wait a minute, Harv! You teach on success, and if someone is satisfied with the level that they are at then they’re not going to go for more.” Well, no, that’s not quite what I’m saying, so let’s separate those pieces for a second: the idea of satisfaction, and the motivation to strive for more.
In other words, we have been taught that the only way to succeed is to be dissatisfied, and on some level that seems to make sense because there are two primary motivators: pleasure and pain. With enough pain, you’ll be motivated, right? Under that paradigm, you should be dissatisfied, because if you are satisfied, you’ll never amount to anything, so you’ll never achieve more.
That is the philosophy of our culture. Dissatisfaction leads to motivation leads to action leads to success.
I want to let you know or remind you, that that philosophy might work for success, but it will not work for happy success. You will not be happy along the journey towards that result.
What if that result, say, making a million dollars, takes 5, 10, or 20 years?
You’ve made your $1 million…great! You look at your money bag and go, “Oh, I am so happy! I’m a millionaire! This was my goal, and I’ve achieved it! Yay! Let’s have a party!”
You have your party, but what happens two weeks later, though? Reality sets in. Actually, not much has really changed at all other than the fact that you have a bigger bank account and can afford a few more things. I mean, what’s a million dollars these days, anyway?
Look, when I got my first million, I thought I was going to buy a gorgeous home. But then you have to think about savings, investments, putting kids through school, helping your parents with their stuff. You start looking at houses with $300,000 or $400,000 down, and then there’s still a big mortgage. Now you’ve got to earn a bunch more money, yes? Maybe $3 million, or $4 million, or $5 million might do it.
So, under this philosophy of success, let’s be dissatisfied again! Let’s lose our happiness over that first million, and let’s go for that $5 million which might take another 5 or 10 or 20 years.
Can you see what a crappy strategy this is for happiness? Is there another option here?
What if you weren’t motivated by dissatisfaction? What if you were motivated by progress? What if you were motivated by passion instead of dissatisfaction and pain?
In other words, what if you were fully satisfied right now?
Maybe it’s time to change the definition of happiness/satisfaction from laughter, fun, excitement, achievement and such; all those things that we deem as “happy.” I want to change that to something that we can conceivably, realistically attain at least most of the time.
That definition is contentment.
You don’t have to be thrilled every minute to be happy. You just have to be able to say, “I am content, right this second, right this moment.” In other words, it’s all about being harmonious with the present moment.
That doesn’t mean being satisfied with an intolerable situation. It means knowing that despite tough situations you have the confidence in yourself and in the universe that this too shall pass, and that you will find ways to overcome that which does stand in the way of your success.
It means taking a balanced approach to life. You take it all in as it comes–the good, the bad, and the ugly–so that you can find joy and possibility in all that life gives us in every moment.
Fall down seven times. Stand up eight. (Japanese proverb.)
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Resilience is one of the greatest survival skills. It helps you both psychologically and physically in the long-run. While it can’t make your problems go away, it can help you endure any sort of hardship – like traumatic events, loss, illness, disaster, the death of a loved one, or any other setback or challenge.
Resilience is about enlisting your inner strengths, and harnessing your healthy coping mechanisms so that you keep functioning without getting over-anxious, depressed, overwhelmed or apathetic.
Here are 8 tips to help you learn how to bounce back when some misfortune strikes, or when you are faced with a challenge:
Maintain your hopefulness. Even though the picture may look grim for now, think back to all the challenges that you have encountered and overcome in your life so far, to gain hope and optimism that a solution will be found and remember that any wound, no matter how big it seems right now, will heal in time.
Learn to be more stoical about life. Accept that unwanted events, sudden changes in circumstances are a part of life, and instead of clinging to your belief of how things “ought to be” learn to adapt, tolerate and even welcome your problems. Sometimes, problems are teachers and help us grow and become harder and wiser.
Take some distance from the event, misfortune or challenge and try to view it as happening to someone else. How would you help that person cope? What would you advise him/her to do? Follow your own advice. There are many angles from which you can view a situation. Taking some distance, becoming an observer rather than a participant may give you the strength but also the problem-solving resources to overcome your challenge. Resilience requires flexibility, not holding onto rigidly to only one point of view.
Reach out to your friends or other support groups. You don’t have to go it alone. A friend’s advice, help or even willing ear or shoulder to cry on may help you re-organize better your inner resources. Feeling connected helps empower people in times of hardship. Offering help to others does the same. Help others in need, you will get empowered as much as they!
Take appropriate action. You don’t have to know the whole solution, you don’t have to examine all the parameters before you take some action in a positive direction. Small steps can help you greatly to feel that you are gaining control of the situation. Play it by ear for a while, test what works and what doesn’t.
Remember to laugh. Every challenge, every misfortune has its comical side. Use humor to lighten up. Think of how comedians can describe a tragic situation in ways that make you laugh. It’s a great coping mechanism, a relaxing break from serious thinking, worrying or grieving.
Don’t neglect yourself. Take good care of your nutrition, sleep, and home environment. Create relaxation time, see friends, do things that please you, like relaxing hobbies, or going to the gym.
Maintain your vision and sense of purpose. Setbacks create havoc, sometimes, emotional upheaval and tend to require all of our attention. We tend to obsess about our problem as if it’s the only thing going on in our lives. It’s good to continue to keep in mind your long-term personal goals, visions, the things that make your life meaningful and focus back on all these areas that provided joy, hope and a sense of accomplishment before the upsetting event. It will help create a sense of balance in your life.
Finally, remember that “this too shall pass”. Repeating this often to yourself will have a soothing and healing effect and boost your resilience.
I have been watching the political arena carefully for a while now. There is no doubt in my mind that Donald Trump will continue to do exceedingly well in this election notwithstanding the powerful opposing forces that he is up against.
It is easy to notice that there are an all out war (TV/media/own party) to make him look like some kind of idiot. Many photos published select photos that are showing him in the worst possible poses. I am sure that many of you took some photos at home only to later discover that there are some that are not focused. Some of of the subjects photographed might have their eyes closed or a child in the background might be busy digging in his/her nose. I notice that the worst pose or picture is often used by those that attempt to tarnish Mr. Trump’s image.
Statements that he makes are often stripped so it will create the impression that he said something totally different to his original message. I notice this in articles written by authors that daily work up a brew of negative and warped perceptions on this man. It is often expected of him to give a fully fledged plan of action on for example how he is going to make America great again or defeat some major current obstacle in two minutes flat. His opponents will then use these short sound bites to bolster the remedies that they propose. It is actually shocking to see how individuals that want to run the most powerful office on this planet distort, warp and tarnish expressions that he made. It would appear as if they want to win at all cost and will use any method to achieve this objective.
Let me tell you why I think Donald Trump will overcome the negative and destructive opponents that currently gang up on him. Why can I predict this? Easy, the voters are more than ready to select someone that have the courage to vent their desire for a better life and future.
It would appear as if most of his opponents as well a some in the media are fear driven. They just cannot manage his pace and ability to think outside the box. He is not always politically correct. He went to school in the relentless and unforgiving business world. He learned more people skills and crisis management in one year than most of his opponents mastered in their lifetime. He is very rich because he understands the dynamics of deal making. He knows when to attack and when to allow his opponent to talk him/herself into a corner. He can read people and know how they think. Trump is always a few steps ahead and that is frustrating everyone that want to see him fade or fall.
Some do not like his communication style. Many are hypocrites that role play shock when he said something that they deem out of order. They attempt to create the impression that they are pure in most things they do and say while their actions and comments display their robotic worked out answers that they hope will get a certain group or type of voter to support them.
Donald Trump will not allow anyone to play games with him. He is confident and there is no doubt in my mind that he will be an outstanding leader, because he do not have fear of loss. He can compromise when needed or insist that a desired outcome must be achieved. I noticed how many of his opponents are unable to flex and adjust some of their historical perceptions because they are too afraid to leave their comfort zones.
It would appear as if the people of the US are more than ready to look at something outside the often old and outdated systems that failed to produce the outcomes they desired. Progress is only possible when we change something and dare to look at alternatives. Most of Trump’s opponents offer just more of the same now packaged in a way that will hopefully create the impression that their message is fresh and new. It is often the same old game plan. It is a fallacy to think that a new leader when selected can use the same old building blocks and then achieve a better outcome.
I wish Mr. Trump well and know he will remain authentic. He must continue to tell it like it is. You will be surprised how many new and historical voters notwithstanding their nationality, religious convictions or political affiliation will rather deal with someone that present them with the cold hard facts. I think the days are over where voters will allow “enthusiastic” politicians to promise them the world that later fail to produce on the promises they made.
A feeling of strong RESISTANCE washed over me when I contemplated the possibility to post a series of articles on the subject matter. I immediately in my mind’s eye viewed a movie how the readers fail to appreciate the powerful impact that resistance play in all areas of our lives. I spoke to a friend about RESISTANCE, but soon noticed that his eyes glazed over like a crocodile on the banks of one of our major rivers. The more I thought about the subject matter the more intense the RESISTANCE grew inside me. I attempted to research the subject matter, but made no or little progress. It soon became clear that the RESISTANCE that I experience when confronted with choices or when faced with unpleasant tasks did not really feature in material that addresses procrastination. There were lots of tips and material that that provide some guidance regards procrastination, but not a single author focused on the invisible feelings of RESISTANCE that I thought sabotage brave and sustained action.
Another thought came to mind that it might be a good idea to offer lectures on the deadly corroding effect of RESISTANCE, but another voice in my head immediately warned that nobody will turn up for such lectures. It was only when I sat down and listed the feelings and emotions that accompany RESISTANCE that I decided to write this series. I started my notes with the unhappiness that RESISTANCE caused me for as long as I can remember when I failed to act in a decisive manner.
I recalled how unhappy I became when I missed out on an outstanding investment some years ago because I RESISTED the clear indications and projections that chances of failure was minimal. I doubted a good friend that recommended the investment and suddenly noticed several signs of greed in his eyes. I dodged my friend’s phone calls and avoided restaurants where I knew he frequently took clients for lunch. I felt guilty and disgusted at the same time. I felt like a slime ball and a coward. I grew up with this guy and could not trace a single incident where he crooked anyone. I played rugby with this guy for years. We went on several tours together. I could not work up enough courage to tell my friend to his face that I think that the investment is risky and might injure me financially.
I even played with the idea to lie to him and create the impression that I am under pressure in the cash flow department. I hope you can see how my RESISTANCE messed with my mind. How I allowed feelings and emotions play with me and turn me into a stumbling idiot. Idiot might be a very appropriate description of me when I look back how this investment turned out for those that invested in this opportunity. Most of them made millions on the deal. I hope that this series will assist many of you to shine the light of truth on the irrational power force of RESISTANCE that mess up our lives, relationships, careers and composure.
I suggest that you look back today to incidents where your lack of courage and composure cost you dearly. Become aware of the magic key that most outstanding business entrepreneurs use to fend off the paralyzing fear of failure, pain and loss that stop most bottom feeders from reaching their goals and dreams. The magic key is courage linked to decisive and sustained action.
Hermann Hesse’s timeless book, Siddhartha, should be required reading for any spiritual seeker. The book is about Siddhartha’s journey as a respected son of a Brahmin. Everyone expects that he will follow in his father’s footsteps. He enjoys an idyllic life and follows the tenets of his religion expecting that they will bring him peace and happiness.
He feels the pangs of discontent though, and observes that his father and elders have not yet reached enlightenment, even though they too have followed the instructions of their religion. When starving and naked ascetics cross Siddhartha’s path one day, his journey truly begins. On this endeavor, he comes to a river that teaches him many life lessons.
If you haven’t had a chance to be profoundly awakened by this book yet, here are ten quotes from it that will move you to question your own environment, religion, culture, and relationships, to possibly find something more.
“Wisdom cannot be imparted. Wisdom that a wise man attempts to impart always sounds like foolishness to someone else … Knowledge can be communicated, but not wisdom. One can find it, live it, do wonders through it, but one cannot communicate and teach it.”
We so often misunderstand the difference between wisdom and knowledge in this world. Wisdom is timeless. It can only be arrived at with discernment and the development of our consciousness to a level that understands paradox and true freedom.
Knowledge simply binds us to erroneous, concrete beliefs, making it nearly impossible to understand the truth of the Universe. Wisdom, however, discloses Truth in ways that cannot even be explained with a thousand books, a million teachings from religious figures, or a hundred million facts memorized and assimilated. Wisdom is so pure, that even language corrupts it.
“When someone seeks, then it easily happens that his eyes see only the thing that he seeks, and he is able to find nothing, to take in nothing because he always thinks only about the thing he is seeking, because he has one goal, because he is obsessed with his goal. Seeking means: having a goal. But finding means: being free, being open, having no goal.”
There are numerous literary and mythical examples of the seeker. Joseph Campbell describes the seeker in the quintessential quest for the Holy Grail – a representation of some outer prize that can be obtained with enough valor or sacrifice, but what we truly seek can be found only within our own hearts. When we seek an outside goal, this is an indication that our own hearts long to be understood. Striving for something outside ourselves causes us to forever remain a seeker.
“I have always believed, and I still believe, that whatever good or bad fortune may come our way we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value.”
All people, places and circumstances in life are fodder for spiritual advancement. Tears are a spiritual release. Hearing a song on the radio that reminds us of someone is a clue from the Universe to send that person love and compassion. Seeing someone else go through something horrible and thinking, “that could have been me,” is a reminder to be thankful.
Getting stuck at a red light is a reminder to breathe deeper. An argument is a gentle tug from the Universe to look inside yourself. Everything that we experience can help us grow. It isn’t just the positive, airy fairy things that help us grow.
When we do a life review, the times we acted with courage and faced our pain, fear, and sadness will be the moments when we smile the biggest.
“We are not going in circles, we are going upwards. The path is a spiral; we have already climbed many steps.”
This point is described in great detail by Don Beck and Christopher Cowan in their discussion of spiral dynamics. The way they visualize change is in a spiral. Though we may circle around to the same challenges, each time we do, we are higher up on the spiral, hopefully with a higher level of consciousness with which to approach the problem.
Beck explained that if we try to impose our ‘solutions’ too far ahead of the curve the result can be rebellion rather than transformation. Because of this, the authors use the term “more complex” instead of “better” or “higher” to describe humanity’s stages of evolutionary development. Even if we haven’t quit reached the apex of what we can visualize, we have already taken many steps to make a better world a reality.
“So she thoroughly taught him that one cannot take pleasure without giving pleasure, and that every gesture, every caress, every touch, every glance, every last bit of the body has its secret, which brings happiness to the person who knows how to wake it. She taught him that after a celebration of love the lovers should not part without admiring each other, without being conquered or having conquered, so that neither is bleak or glutted or has the bad feeling of being used or misused.”
Sex is so often a mindless exchange between people these days. It is not an act to be engaged in so recklessly, though. When we share each other’s bodies, subtle energies are exchanged between us. The cultivation of these energies can even be used to achieve higher states of consciousness. When we act as though our bodies are just sacks of flesh, instead of the physical manifestation of energy, then we are missing the point of sensuality.
“It may be important to great thinkers to examine the world, to explain and despise it. But I think it is only important to love the world, not to despise it, not for us to hate each other, but to be able to regard the world and ourselves and all beings with love, admiration and respect.”
One of my own spiritual teachers once said to me, you only have to learn to love. That is your only lesson while you are here. Even when we think we are loving, there are usually ways that we are not acting, thinking, and feeling from a loving place. This includes how we think and treat ourselves, not just other people.
“My real self wanders elsewhere, far away, wanders on and on invisibly and has nothing to do with my life.”
Whatever you define yourself as in this life – a father, a mother, a daughter, a son, a husband, a friend, a lover, a worker, etc. – these are only labels. They don’t not encase your infinite soul. You have been all these things and more in many lifetimes, and in many more places than where you are now.
“Opinions mean nothing; they may be beautiful or ugly, clever or foolish, anyone can embrace or reject them.”
You know that other saying about opinions and asses. Enough said.
“One can beg, buy, be presented with and find love in the streets, but it can never be stolen.”
With everything that has been taken from us by an evil, destructive, psychotic, corrupt cabal, isn’t wonderful to know that love cannot be traded like a stock or destroyed like gold, faked like paper money, or made to be more, or less valuable at the whims of a few elite. Love is eternal, indestructible, and pure. It is our greatest treasure.
“I shall no longer be instructed by the Yoga Veda or the Aharva Veda, or the ascetics, or any other doctrine whatsoever. I shall learn from myself, be a pupil of myself; I shall get to know myself, the mystery of Siddhartha.” He looked around as if he were seeing the world for the first time.”
Every single major religion on this planet has been corrupted. This doesn’t mean that religion has nothing left to teach us. It also doesn’t mean you need to believe in God or be an atheist to arrive at true wisdom, but as long as you are looking to an institution or a person to bring you enlightenment, you’ll miss it.
YOUR ABILITY TO COMPOSE YOURSELF CAN MAKE YOU OR BREAK YOU. THE WAY YOU WALK AND TALK AND PRESENT YOURSELF WILL DECIDE THE LEVEL ON INFLUENCE YOU EXERT!
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Very few people understand the powerful role their composure plays in everything they do and how they feel. You can never act in a positive manner if you go around with a troubled look on your face, slumped shoulders and whine in your voice. How can you think and act in a positive manner if your whole demeanour is that of a loser or fader? What you think is displayed in the image you project to the people around you. I have never seen a person with a negative attitude and poor self-image go up to any rostrum to receive first prize. I have never seen any person with the image of a bird with a broken wing sell like a champion. I have never seen a parent with the image of a bullterrier win the love and respect of his own children. What you project activates chemicals in your brain that will either fuel your passion or dowse the fire in your heart.
How can you expect to feel, act and be positive if you project an image of a dog that got one too many hiding? The point I am making here is that you have the power within you to turn you negative feelings around by simply adjusting your composure. When you feel down and defeated, pull back your shoulders, lift your head and take a few deep breaths. Look life and people straight in the eye. This will immediately trigger positive chemicals in your brain. The dark clouds will lift from your brain and stop smothering your creativity and passion.
This might sound too simple to be worth much, but just try it the next time you feel down and defeated. You will be amazed what power is locked up in your brain that will be unleashed when you use this method. You will discover that the sun will push away the dark clouds of despair and the feelings of gloom that kept you imprisoned in a mental torture chamber will dissipate. You will begin to act in a manner conducive to winning again. Please remember that you cannot think or act in a positive manner with an image that remind you of a helpless child.
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I NOW HAVE A TRIGGER MECHANISM THAT I CAN USE IN MOMENTS WHEN I FEEL DEFEATED, OUTCLASSED OR DOWN
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If you want to exert influence, you will have to look at the image that you project while at work and play. People treat you the way you project yourself. People, will use and abuse you if you go around with the image of a defeated man. You will feel exactly what you project. People do not follow losers and cry babies. They latch onto winners and people that make them feel safe and protected.
Will you put your life in the hands of a doctor that project an image of insecurity and hesitation? Will you invest money with a person that presents you with an image of an illiterate person? You must never forget that life is a jungle out there. If you show any sign of weakness or vulnerability, the vultures, and scavengers of life will appear like magic.
In nature the weak always becomes the victim of the strong. When a kudu feels ill or appear injured, the scavengers will target and devour him. In life, it is the same. When your head and shoulder go down you lose your zest for life. Your tone of voice drops to a whisper or whine and your feel drained and tired. Remember the trigger to get you out of this frame of mind is to reverse the process.
Lift your head and shoulders. Take a few deep breaths and walk like a person with a mission. You will be pleasantly surprised how quickly you feel in control again and how much fresh new energy will begin to pump through your body and mind.
When you were born you arrived without an instructional manual! You were expected to figure things out as you evolved. And everyone else was in the same boat.
We learnt initially by imitation. Repeating words that our parents taught us. By the time we were 4-5 years old we were starting to figure things out and our individual personality began to develop. Then we went to school and were moulded into a functioning individual. Rather like a bakery. The dough is placed into hundreds of bread moulds and when cooked all the loaves look the same. So it is with us by the end of our basic schooling. We have learnt to fit into society and have been taught the basic reading and writing skills that enable us to join the workforce. And here the pressure to conform really begins. If we displease our boss our job is on the line. Likewise in our social environment we don’t really want to displease our church, family or members of our social groups.
Everything is a compromise because we have no real individual freedom.
That is we are not free to do things the way we really want to. And as we grow into adulthood and start a family the same pressures to conform are still with us. Society expects us to behave in an acceptable way… that is… acceptable to the society we live in.
As we progress through life we slowly come to the realisation that we are not a free spirit and never have been. It gets to the point where many individuals suddenly rebel and go off at a tangent.
Which is why so many marriages fail these days. In the “good old days” unhappy marriage partners stuck together “for the sake of the family”. There used to be tremendous social pressures on married couples to “hang in there”. These days there is no such pressure. People who have been confined and restricted all their life suddenly break out. There are plenty of alternatives available to unhappy individuals and a massive amount of information available thanks to the internet and a more open news media approach.
You have the right to be free and happy
The point is… you have the right to be free and happy. If you are not then you are denying yourself this basic freedom. The old attitude might have been acceptable 40 years ago but it now no longer applies. Many of you reading this will recognise the truth of the above analysis and will be asking what you can do about it.
To pull yourself away from the personal traps you need to sit down and rethink your beliefs and attitudes.
Many of us have developed beliefs that are simply no longer valid and we pursue them merely from force of habit. We need to break these habits and reprogram our personal belief system so that we feel we are the master of our own destinies!
At any one point in time each and every sane individual is either doing that which makes them the happiest or doing that which makes them the least unhappy. Most individuals operate in the latter category. Think about the things you have done so far today. Did they make you seriously happy or did you do them so that you wouldn’t be unhappy? I’ll bet that less than 5% of them actually made you happy! In fact think back over the past week and isolate one single event that made you blissfully happy and personally satisfied. It has taken me many years to sort out my belief system to the point where I now feel almost totally free. And I made a ton of mistakes along the way because I didn’t have an instruction manual to help me.
An instruction manual for personal freedom
But you are in a totally different position because you are currently reading this vital instruction manual!! The vast majority of individuals get stuck in this rut all their lives but occasionally a traumatic event breaks them out of it. For example a person might become seriously ill and their doctor advises that they only have 6 months to live. Now some people will roll over and pretend to be dead the moment they hear this while others will suddenly realise that they haven’t lived life at all and go hell-bent on catching up. These are the ones who get so involved in doing all those things they always wanted to do that their illness suddenly disappears. There are many recorded instances of these miraculous cures, particularly in regard to cancer. Just stop for a moment and visualise what you would do in this situation. You might be stuck with a time-wasting family situation of visiting Auntie Nellie and Uncle Erntwhistle every Sunday fortnight for dinner because that’s what you have always done and it is expected of you. If you got sudden bad news like this would you continue to visit them or would you head off to do some jet-skiing or parasailing?
Chances are you would mentally cut all the things out of your life that didn’t matter and do only those things that did. And this is where you can sit down and make a list of all the important things you do each month. Take some time about it and make a complete list. Now imagine which items you would cross out if you knew you had limited time left. You would probably find that 80% of the so-called important items had been deleted. This is the exercise I did many years ago when I realised I was wasting my life on garbage non-productive events. I crossed out all the things that didn’t really matter, particularly those items that I felt obliged to participate in because of social or family pressure. I got somewhat unpopular initially but others soon realised I had taken a new lease on life and left me alone.
My thinking was that this life of mine was not a practice run and I’d better start living it otherwise I would go to my deathbed with a ton of regrets.
Just visualise lying in a hospital bed with all your family around you in the certain knowledge that you are dying and suddenly realising that there were many things in life that you hadn’t done. You had “missed out” because of your inertia and were extremely sad about it. Do you want to spend the last few moments suffering from massive regrets? No… I don’t think so!
Everyday you make a thousand choices. You choose what to wear, where to go, who to meet, what to eat and what to do. MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, YOU decide WHAT TO THINK. One thing is sure and that is that your day will not be better than your thoughts. ...................
Just close your eyes for a moment and see if you can visualise this open toolbox and if you can see the hundreds of tools that are neatly placed in this toolbox. Now look if you can see the maker’s name on these tools. The creator of these tools (thoughts and perceptions) is you. You created thousands of thoughts and perceptions (tools) about everything since your childhood. ..................
When confronted with any situation or problem you reach into this toolbox and take out what you think the most appropriate tool would be and then attempt to fix the problem. It is estimated that your mind thinks at least 2,500 thoughts an hour. Every thought that you think is a tool (perception) that you have that you imagine would work best under specific circumstances. This thought process continues day and night and will do so for the rest of your life. .....................................
I am convinced that we think ourselves to a standstill. We never stop playing with these tools in our toolbox and can hardly ever really relax for a while. If we are not faced with a problem or task that needs completion we still continue to take out these tools and mentally rehears and contemplate how we will use them should something that we fear become a reality. ............................
We are forever thinking and scheming and never become still and tranquil inside. Our bodies might seem relaxed, but deep inside our heads this thought process continues churning around. What I am most worried about is that most of the tools that you have in your toolbox are very old and outdated. .......................
Many of the opportunities, problems and obstructions that you face daily cannot be repaired while you are using old and outdated tools. If you take a modern mechanic’s toolbox and you place the toolbox of a mechanic of fifty years ago next to it you will find that there are major discrepancies. When you are confronted with something that needs repair and you do not have the right tool for the task at hand it can be very frustrating. We usually improvise and try using some other tools and hope that it will also get the job done. ........................
When you are faced with a problem you need to select the right tool for the task at hand. If you do not have the tool in your toolbox it can complicate your life. What most people seem to ignore is that it is sometimes better not to reach for your toolbox when faced with a problem. Sometimes you need time to pass or need to leave the problem with its rightful owner. How well you use your tools is usually reflected in the world you see around you. What would you do if you were faced with any or all of the following? .........................
You get a flat tire on your way to an important customer or meeting. You can fall apart, develop a migraine and think that life is against you or you can take out the right tools (patience and reality) and take care of the problem in a relaxed manner. ........................
You have been working on the computer for hours and suddenly lose all your work. You can drop dead with a heart attack; think that God hates you or you can take out the right tool (sanity and reality) and begin over and this time remember to make a backup of your work. ....................
A lover or wife possibly cheated on you. You can go crazy and get an assassin to take out the potential threat to your relationship, think that you are a failure or you can take out the right tool (no fear of loss) and get on with your life. .......................
When you have the right tools in your toolbox it makes life a lot easier. The choices we make are vital in our lives. The more quality choices we make during any given day the higher the probability of success and peace of mind. ................
I suggest that you equip your toolbox with the best tools you can lay your hands on. It is important to upgrade if you discover that one of your tools are outdated or that a more modern version is available. How would you react if your TV packed up and a technician that obviously knows very little about electronics arrived at your house with only a sledgehammer and a few other primitive tools in his toolbox? I am sure that you will send him away and find someone better qualified and equipped for the task. .....................
You might sometimes be like this incompetent and poorly equipped technician indicated above if you do not often update your tools (thoughts) in your toolbox. You can also have all the right tools in your toolbox and never use them because you are afraid that you might make a mistake. ..................
You must remember that happiness and success is always just one thought (tool) away. You should remember when you find it difficult to cope with something that one new tool (thought) could change your life. One fresh thought and one new idea can change your life from pain and suffering to success and peace of mind. ........................
You are today what you were programmed with yesterday. The choices that you make on a moment-to-moment basis decide your fate and future. You can never feel or perform better than the ongoing thoughts and feelings that you allow to occupy your mind! .......................
The mistake we make is that most of us live our lives on a reactive basis. We start and complete our day in a reactive state of being. Something comes to our attention via our five senses or via a thought in our mind. We automatically slip into the “role” that we created for ourselves many moons ago. We act, react and experience the same feelings and emotions that we embedded with our scrip at its inception. We do exactly the same when new stimuli push the previous “drama” off the stage in our minds. We sustain this reactive mode of thinking until we finally go to bed at night. Most of our days are made up of a tapestry of “roles” that we played in our own colorful way. It is important to understand that nothing is going to change until we do something different. We cannot repeat the same old recipes and expect a different outcome. ....................
You can use the “Portable Life Skills Wisdom” book to develop a range of appropriate scripts that you can use when you are faced with a problem or project that need your attention. You will if you apply the scripts in this book find that you no longer run your life on a reactive basis. The new scripts will help you to live your life in the moment. You will become more realistic. You will treat each event on its own merit. How do you do this? ......................
The Process ....................
Read the first message in your book. Write it down if at all possible. It will assist you to absorb the data provided. Now sit back and close your eyes and visualize how you will apply the specific message in the various areas of your life. See yourself on the screen of your mind using the message in all your day-to-day activities. It is important to attempt to feel and experience the benefits that this new mode of thinking will bring into your life. Do this for ten minutes. Then open your eyes and begin to apply the wisdom on all occasions where appropriate in your activities on that given day. ...........................
Proceed to do the same with second message etc. in your book tomorrow. You will upload almost a thousand powerful recipes if you sustain the process indicated above. You can in less than three years upload a powerful “tool” system that will serve you for the rest of your life. This can be a life changing experience if you apply it daily. You will discover that the ten minutes you invest daily will upload countless new strategies into your subconscious computer. Build a successful and happy life. The key however is action. You can have the best tools available to man and still fail if you don’t use them daily. Wishing you the very best with this endeavor. .............................
Daily Support System (This Blog) ................
You not only have the massive key ideas in the book that you can use when appropriate you also receive daily posts on a wide range of subjects that will expand this system to a level never offered before. Visit this blog daily for fresh new ideas with a sprinkle of historical wisdom that stood the test of time. ..........................
Rene
PORTABLE LIFE SKILLS DAILY WISDOM GUIDE 