Monthly Archives: February 2018

Showing respect/compassion is impossible while you jump up/down like a clown.



Mutual respect developed in relationships ensures sustainability and good quality choices. The key is to create a platform where parties can talk openly, without fear about observations, experiences and feelings. I sometimes find it almost humorous to hear from friends how their partner went crazy, hyperventilated and pulled out clumps of hair from his or her scalp after they share some bad news with him or her. A few dramatic performances by your partner after you share less acceptable news with him or her usually convince you that this open and honest thing should be avoided at all cost. That is one of the main reasons why partners begin to hide stuff from each other. It might be a good idea to set down a few ground rules about this open and honest mode of operation before you agree to take it on board. You must build in an escape clause if your partner begins to show symptoms of a heart attack or start looking for a sharp knife in the kitchen. I am exaggerating, but hope that you will accept that some ground rules must be put in place if one or both of the partners feel that honesty is the best policy. The best rule is to agree that you will bring in a “time out” period when any of the partners move away from a rational and objective communication style. You may find that one partner insist while he or she is foaming at the mouth that you conclude whatever you are busy talking about. My friend, take time out, even if you must dodge a few “flying saucers” on your way to your workshop. No problem, relationship or dispute has ever been solved amicably while one or both of the parties work in “crazy” mode. Showing respect and compassion is impossible while you jump up and down like a clown or make noises like a wounded buffalo. I thus suggest that you set some “playing” rules in this regard and avoid any engagement while upset or angry. Remember the “time out” rule if you want to master the art of dispute management.


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Posted by on February 28, 2018 in WISDOM


Procrastination remain your biggest enemy.


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Posted by on February 28, 2018 in WISDOM


What are you waiting for? The weather or circumstances will never be perfect.



Develop a “do it now” attitude if you want to make progress with anything. Procrastination is at the root of most failures. What are you waiting for? The weather or circumstances will never be perfect. Opportunities will pass you by and your current minor problems will gain serious momentum while you wait.


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Posted by on February 28, 2018 in WISDOM


Your best friend today can become your worst enemy two weeks from now.


Explain to your children that it is important to understand that every person is busy writing their own story in their book of life. Every person on this planet sees things from his/her personal perspective. No two persons view or experience things the same. You might think that something is obvious while other have a totally different take on the matter at hand. It will thus be silly to expect that friends, family and even strangers will see things from your perspective. Tell your child that he/she can avoid a lot of pain, frustration and conflicts when he/she fully understands that each person is living in his own world that he created for him/herself. We often feel rejected if a friend, someone at school with us or a stranger fails to act the way we expect him/her to respond. The biggest pain inducer that you child will ever be exposed to is his/her expectations. Life is very unpredictable. Your best friend today can become your worst enemy two weeks from now. Your friend possibly made an assumption about you based on false information given to him/her by someone else. It will be silly to feel wounded because you failed to sustain the relationship. You cannot control the thoughts and feelings of anyone. The best you can do is to confront your friend and ask him/her if your friendship is still ok. Listen what he/she say before you respond. Clarify any misunderstandings in a calm and relaxed manner. Move on if he/she reject your clarification or apology.                

We give away our power when we have high expectations, hopes and dreams for someone else. We give such person ample opportunity to disappoint or frustrate us. We need to remain realistic and accept that there are an endless number of things that can happen and go wrong in relationships. Misunderstandings are the major cause of disputes. You give people control over you if you have unrealistic expectations. Teach your child to enjoy his/her relationships. Also teach your child that relationships can fail like most things in life. Show your child that it is sometimes necessary to walk away from relationships when it becomes a one-sided experience. It might be painful for a while, but will heal. Teach your child to be careful who they associate with. A person with a radically different focus on life can influence your child to go outside his/her norms. The desire to be or remain acceptable can influence your child to get involved in behaviour or things that could cause long-term damage.                 


 Parents must understand that “fear of loss” and “fear of rejection” is major obstacles that your child will need to learn to manage. Show compassion when your child run into relationship problems. It might be a “storm in a tea cup” according to your perceptions, but could be a major issue for your child. Being isolated at school or not accepted in a group can be a painful experience. It is important that you carefully go through the principles above with your child long before he/she is put to the test. Parents keep in mind that you developed your own perceptions about everything as well. Do your best to see whatever is bothering your child from his/her perspective.     



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Posted by on February 28, 2018 in WISDOM


If you want to survive/thing called life develop a thicker skin/more mature attitude.


Let us stop searching for answers and implement a few of the principles we already understand and know. Let us stop looking for new rules, laws and words of wisdom and start using the ones we already know, but never apply!




Author unknown


OVER SENSITIVE PEOPLE A PAIN IN THE BACKSIDE: One of the biggest flaws that we can ever display is that of over sensitivity. I cannot think of any other characteristic that is a bigger hindrance to harmony and progress than that of over-sensitivity.

When you are forced to interact or live with a person that are hypersensitive that constantly interpret things in a negative manner your life can become hell on earth. When a person filters everything that you say or do through some kind of “suspicion filtering” device it puts a serious damper on spontaneity and honesty. Interaction with such a person is usually tiring and quite an ordeal. I once watched a person in a movie that discovered that he strayed into a minefield and how he carefully inched forward with hesitant shuffles in an attempt to avoid being blasted to kingdom come. Beads of perspiration ran down his face and you could read the terror and fear etched in his eyes.

I sometimes are quite surprised when I see how people are forced to select their words with utmost care and choose the subjects that they discuss even more carefully in an attempt to avoid that their listener becomes upset or sulk for weeks. I always knew that each world uttered carry with it a “package” of energy or feelings that can influence a person in a negative or positive manner, but when you talk to sensitive individuals they seem to discover a negative “connotation” in most things you say. I am convinced that sensitive individuals live only half a life. They are so serious about life and their egos are so fragile that it prevents them from really enjoying life.

Have you ever seen an egg with a very thin shell and how the slightest bump could cause a major mess on the kitchen floor? Hypersensitive people suffer with this “soft shell syndrome” and do not only make their own life extremely unpleasant, but also contaminate the lives of everybody that are connected to them.

Your attitude towards life creates the type of life you lead. If you are a sensitive person with a fragile disposition you are making life, that is already taxing, problem filled and complicated even more unpredictable. People treat you with the mood you set. If you are a wife that falls apart every time that your husband shares the slightest problem with you, you are forcing him to hide and camouflage things that he would love to share with you.

Most people in relationships make a big thing of “honesty” in their relationship. They threaten to leave their partner if he or she shows the slightest tendency to hide or water down information that could impact on their relationship, but fail to understand that hysterical over-reaction and two week sulking spells does not exactly promote such honesty.

If you want to survive this thing called life you need to develop a thicker skin and a more mature attitude. You need to discover the humour and lighter side of problems, people and life in general if you want to live a life of relative fun and harmony. Stop going around like a cocked gun with a hair trigger and learn to let your hair down once in a while. There is a time for everything in life. There is a time to become focused and serious, but then there comes a time that you must allow the child in you to come out and play for a while.


BALANCE IS THE KEY: Let us be honest and agree that we are living in difficult and alarming times today. If you are disaster focused you can find reasons to slit your wrists within half and hour after you crawled out of bed each morning. Your attitude towards life decides the stage that you set for yourself and the people that play on your “game chart” of life.

Have you ever considered how other people view you or what “feelings” they get when they think of you? We underestimate this “feelings” side of life to our own peril. If people experience a feeling of “what a pain in the back-side” when they think of you, you need to take stock of your general attitude towards life. The “feelings” that you activate in people could make you “popular or a lone wolf”, “poor or rich”, “a leader or follower” or “a friend or enemy”. We should often ask ourselves, “Will I one day be remembered as a warm, kind, empathetic and adult person or will people secretly rejoice when I die?

Just for a moment sit down and think of the “feelings” that you possibly generate in your wife or husband, lover, children, friends, strangers and with your associates at work. You might shrug your shoulders and say, “who cares?” but deep inside you know that you need people in your life if you want to live any type of meaningful life. People will form part of your game of life for as long as you exist and how they feel about you could make your life pleasant and successful or a tragedy and series of pathetic failures.

I know that many of the people that you live with or are forced to share your game of life with are not exactly easy to get along with. If you are a reactive person you will allow their negative attitudes to impact on you and to set the tone of your own reactions to them. Can you see how either your own attitude or the negative attitude of someone else can start a negative cycle that will gather momentum and a life of its own? Once this negative pattern is set it becomes very difficult to break such destructive habit patterns. 

We all yearn for a fairly tranquil and predictable life and should work on our attitude and focus on life all the times if we want to make our journey on this planet fairly pleasant and productive. Bring humour and lightheartedness into your heart and watch how people change and embrace the “new” you. 




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Posted by on February 27, 2018 in WISDOM


The element that decides your FATE and FUTURE my friend is MONEY.


There is one element that decides how long you will live, how you dress, what you drive, where you stay, what you eat, who you marry and where your children go to school. This element is money. Look at the layers in society. You have the affluent at the top of the pyramid and the struggling bottom feeders right at the bottom of the pyramid found in all societies. Many of us were born into a certain layer in society. Try as we may we fail to break out of the law of gravity that keeps us locked into our social layer. It is easy to say that everybody have an equal chance of reaching the top of this pyramid. That is a bullshit story. It is almost as ridicules as the myth told by many churches that God provides each person with the same opportunity to go the heaven. Look around you and you will see that there is no equality in society. The churches say that God works on a “one strike and you are out” principle. You have one life time that can end at any time and need to find Jesus in that time allocation or your will be toasted.


The element that decides your fate and future my friend is money. Most of the money in all societies is in the hands of those that reside close to the top of the pyramid of life. Those lower down in the middle class and the bottom feeders at the base of the pyramid is expected to pull themselves up by their bootstraps. The lower you enter the game of life on this pyramid the less you earn and the scarcer the opportunities that come your way. It is these layers in society that is at the root of most of our problems when it comes to crime. Most of those that have nothing, little education have a slim chance of success. They then select crime as their career. They discover that they can lay their hands on the “magic element money” with little effort by following a career as a criminal. They can “work” for twenty minutes and earn more than most of the slaves that man the middle class of society can earn in a month. They know that they are in a risky profession, but think that there are many other professions that also carry serious risks.

The miner, policeman, fire fighter or farmer is exposed to potential adversity every day. The miner, policeman and fire fighter is confronted by occupational risks while the farmer in turn is often faced by those at the bottom of the pyramid. Crime statistics will not come down soon. Our hard working police cannot win this battle trying to get the criminals off the streets. There are millions that are ready to step into the shoes that got caught in the legal trap. Job creation and service delivery can force our crime rates down overnight.


Just look around you today and notice that there are meters running all the time that will stop the moment you fail to feed them with money. There are no lights, water, transport, fuel, food and shelter for those that lack the element of money. It is easy for those that fail to grasp the problem of access to money to judge and condemn those that live under a bridge or hide in a shack when the rain and rivers threaten their survival. It is easy to look down on those that beg for money on the streets when you have enough funds in your account to survive one more month. I want to tell you that most of us are less than three months away from jointing those that I described above if for any unforeseen reason we lose our job or health and cannot continue working. 


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Posted by on February 27, 2018 in WISDOM


This is how the never ending cycle of entrapment is sustained.

a story behind each window


You should by now understand that each one of us has a unique RESISTANCE bubble or energy field that encase us like a glove. Many of us live and die within the perimeters of our RESISTANCE zone. The biggest percentage of us is so dedicated to maintain our zone of RESISTANCE that we hardly ever venture outside its perimeters. We sometimes during moments of courage pull up the heavy draw bridge of our fortress of RESISTANCE and venture into the unknown. Our visits to the unknown zone are usually fleeting. We rush back to the safety of our walls the moment we run into anyone that criticize,  question or confront us with stuff that fail to match the blueprints in our perception archive. There comes a time when we feel that we must find a partner.

We are then forced to venture out of our fortress. We begin our search for a suitable partner by matching the potential partner’s RESISTANCE against our own. We do our best to avoid bringing in a partner that might cause us discomfort. We reason that it will be very beneficial if we select a partner that closely matches the frequency of our own RESISTANCE level. That is why a partner with the same religious, political or race perceptions etc. is selected. We also know that there will be a gradual merging of the RESISTANCE levels of the partners. We try our level best to find a partner that will preferably enhance our own convictions and strengthen our RESISTANCE objectives. Our fear of the unknown immediately limits the number of potential partners that we have to choose from. When we find someone that we think will be a suitable partner we propose marriage. We then go through the prescribed rituals and gradually become a collective cluster of RESISTANCE.

We then when appropriate procreate and begin to produce children. The children arrive in this dimension with no perceptions and no fears. They are free mentally. They are little spiritual bundles of joy that love unconditionally. Both partners soon realize that it is imperative that this new arrival are domesticated and taught how to become an acceptable member of the society that they live in. Can you see how the process of enslavement happened to you as well? This is how the never ending cycle of entrapment is sustained.


Look around you today and see how man has been reduced to entities that live in tiny boxes. Look at the endless rows of dwellings that go on for as far as the eye can see. Inside each of the dwellings (boxes) are living beings with hopes and dreams that are more often than not too afraid to attempt anything that might rock the boat or cause discomfort. We vigorously RESIST anything or anyone that dare to trespass into our space. We create the impression that we are happy and successful from behind our picket or barbed wired security fences. 




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Posted by on February 27, 2018 in WISDOM

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