.
.
Monthly Archives: February 2018
What are you waiting for? The weather or circumstances will never be perfect.
.
Develop a “do it now” attitude if you want to make progress with anything. Procrastination is at the root of most failures. What are you waiting for? The weather or circumstances will never be perfect. Opportunities will pass you by and your current minor problems will gain serious momentum while you wait.
Rene
Your best friend today can become your worst enemy two weeks from now.
Explain to your children that it is important to understand that every person is busy writing their own story in their book of life. Every person on this planet sees things from his/her personal perspective. No two persons view or experience things the same. You might think that something is obvious while other have a totally different take on the matter at hand. It will thus be silly to expect that friends, family and even strangers will see things from your perspective. Tell your child that he/she can avoid a lot of pain, frustration and conflicts when he/she fully understands that each person is living in his own world that he created for him/herself. We often feel rejected if a friend, someone at school with us or a stranger fails to act the way we expect him/her to respond. The biggest pain inducer that you child will ever be exposed to is his/her expectations. Life is very unpredictable. Your best friend today can become your worst enemy two weeks from now. Your friend possibly made an assumption about you based on false information given to him/her by someone else. It will be silly to feel wounded because you failed to sustain the relationship. You cannot control the thoughts and feelings of anyone. The best you can do is to confront your friend and ask him/her if your friendship is still ok. Listen what he/she say before you respond. Clarify any misunderstandings in a calm and relaxed manner. Move on if he/she reject your clarification or apology.
We give away our power when we have high expectations, hopes and dreams for someone else. We give such person ample opportunity to disappoint or frustrate us. We need to remain realistic and accept that there are an endless number of things that can happen and go wrong in relationships. Misunderstandings are the major cause of disputes. You give people control over you if you have unrealistic expectations. Teach your child to enjoy his/her relationships. Also teach your child that relationships can fail like most things in life. Show your child that it is sometimes necessary to walk away from relationships when it becomes a one-sided experience. It might be painful for a while, but will heal. Teach your child to be careful who they associate with. A person with a radically different focus on life can influence your child to go outside his/her norms. The desire to be or remain acceptable can influence your child to get involved in behaviour or things that could cause long-term damage.
PARENTS
Parents must understand that “fear of loss” and “fear of rejection” is major obstacles that your child will need to learn to manage. Show compassion when your child run into relationship problems. It might be a “storm in a tea cup” according to your perceptions, but could be a major issue for your child. Being isolated at school or not accepted in a group can be a painful experience. It is important that you carefully go through the principles above with your child long before he/she is put to the test. Parents keep in mind that you developed your own perceptions about everything as well. Do your best to see whatever is bothering your child from his/her perspective.
Rene
.
If you want to survive/thing called life develop a thicker skin/more mature attitude.
.
WHEN YOU LOSE YOUR SENSE OF HUMOUR!
WHEN YOU LOSE YOUR SENSE OF HUMOUR, GET A JOB RUNNING AN ELEVATOR, BECAUSE YOUR LIFE WILL BE A SERIES OF UPS AND DOWNS ANYWAY
Author unknown
.
OVER SENSITIVE PEOPLE A PAIN IN THE BACKSIDE: One of the biggest flaws that we can ever display is that of over sensitivity. I cannot think of any other characteristic that is a bigger hindrance to harmony and progress than that of over-sensitivity.
When you are forced to interact or live with a person that are hypersensitive that constantly interpret things in a negative manner your life can become hell on earth. When a person filters everything that you say or do through some kind of “suspicion filtering” device it puts a serious damper on spontaneity and honesty. Interaction with such a person is usually tiring and quite an ordeal. I once watched a person in a movie that discovered that he strayed into a minefield and how he carefully inched forward with hesitant shuffles in an attempt to avoid being blasted to kingdom come. Beads of perspiration ran down his face and you could read the terror and fear etched in his eyes.
I sometimes are quite surprised when I see how people are forced to select their words with utmost care and choose the subjects that they discuss even more carefully in an attempt to avoid that their listener becomes upset or sulk for weeks. I always knew that each world uttered carry with it a “package” of energy or feelings that can influence a person in a negative or positive manner, but when you talk to sensitive individuals they seem to discover a negative “connotation” in most things you say. I am convinced that sensitive individuals live only half a life. They are so serious about life and their egos are so fragile that it prevents them from really enjoying life.
Have you ever seen an egg with a very thin shell and how the slightest bump could cause a major mess on the kitchen floor? Hypersensitive people suffer with this “soft shell syndrome” and do not only make their own life extremely unpleasant, but also contaminate the lives of everybody that are connected to them.
Your attitude towards life creates the type of life you lead. If you are a sensitive person with a fragile disposition you are making life, that is already taxing, problem filled and complicated even more unpredictable. People treat you with the mood you set. If you are a wife that falls apart every time that your husband shares the slightest problem with you, you are forcing him to hide and camouflage things that he would love to share with you.
Most people in relationships make a big thing of “honesty” in their relationship. They threaten to leave their partner if he or she shows the slightest tendency to hide or water down information that could impact on their relationship, but fail to understand that hysterical over-reaction and two week sulking spells does not exactly promote such honesty.
If you want to survive this thing called life you need to develop a thicker skin and a more mature attitude. You need to discover the humour and lighter side of problems, people and life in general if you want to live a life of relative fun and harmony. Stop going around like a cocked gun with a hair trigger and learn to let your hair down once in a while. There is a time for everything in life. There is a time to become focused and serious, but then there comes a time that you must allow the child in you to come out and play for a while.
BALANCE IS THE KEY: Let us be honest and agree that we are living in difficult and alarming times today. If you are disaster focused you can find reasons to slit your wrists within half and hour after you crawled out of bed each morning. Your attitude towards life decides the stage that you set for yourself and the people that play on your “game chart” of life.
Have you ever considered how other people view you or what “feelings” they get when they think of you? We underestimate this “feelings” side of life to our own peril. If people experience a feeling of “what a pain in the back-side” when they think of you, you need to take stock of your general attitude towards life. The “feelings” that you activate in people could make you “popular or a lone wolf”, “poor or rich”, “a leader or follower” or “a friend or enemy”. We should often ask ourselves, “Will I one day be remembered as a warm, kind, empathetic and adult person or will people secretly rejoice when I die?
Just for a moment sit down and think of the “feelings” that you possibly generate in your wife or husband, lover, children, friends, strangers and with your associates at work. You might shrug your shoulders and say, “who cares?” but deep inside you know that you need people in your life if you want to live any type of meaningful life. People will form part of your game of life for as long as you exist and how they feel about you could make your life pleasant and successful or a tragedy and series of pathetic failures.
I know that many of the people that you live with or are forced to share your game of life with are not exactly easy to get along with. If you are a reactive person you will allow their negative attitudes to impact on you and to set the tone of your own reactions to them. Can you see how either your own attitude or the negative attitude of someone else can start a negative cycle that will gather momentum and a life of its own? Once this negative pattern is set it becomes very difficult to break such destructive habit patterns.
We all yearn for a fairly tranquil and predictable life and should work on our attitude and focus on life all the times if we want to make our journey on this planet fairly pleasant and productive. Bring humour and lightheartedness into your heart and watch how people change and embrace the “new” you.
Rene
The element that decides your FATE and FUTURE my friend is MONEY.
.
There is one element that decides how long you will live, how you dress, what you drive, where you stay, what you eat, who you marry and where your children go to school. This element is money. Look at the layers in society. You have the affluent at the top of the pyramid and the struggling bottom feeders right at the bottom of the pyramid found in all societies. Many of us were born into a certain layer in society. Try as we may we fail to break out of the law of gravity that keeps us locked into our social layer. It is easy to say that everybody have an equal chance of reaching the top of this pyramid. That is a bullshit story. It is almost as ridicules as the myth told by many churches that God provides each person with the same opportunity to go the heaven. Look around you and you will see that there is no equality in society. The churches say that God works on a “one strike and you are out” principle. You have one life time that can end at any time and need to find Jesus in that time allocation or your will be toasted.
The element that decides your fate and future my friend is money. Most of the money in all societies is in the hands of those that reside close to the top of the pyramid of life. Those lower down in the middle class and the bottom feeders at the base of the pyramid is expected to pull themselves up by their bootstraps. The lower you enter the game of life on this pyramid the less you earn and the scarcer the opportunities that come your way. It is these layers in society that is at the root of most of our problems when it comes to crime. Most of those that have nothing, little education have a slim chance of success. They then select crime as their career. They discover that they can lay their hands on the “magic element money” with little effort by following a career as a criminal. They can “work” for twenty minutes and earn more than most of the slaves that man the middle class of society can earn in a month. They know that they are in a risky profession, but think that there are many other professions that also carry serious risks.
The miner, policeman, fire fighter or farmer is exposed to potential adversity every day. The miner, policeman and fire fighter is confronted by occupational risks while the farmer in turn is often faced by those at the bottom of the pyramid. Crime statistics will not come down soon. Our hard working police cannot win this battle trying to get the criminals off the streets. There are millions that are ready to step into the shoes that got caught in the legal trap. Job creation and service delivery can force our crime rates down overnight.
Just look around you today and notice that there are meters running all the time that will stop the moment you fail to feed them with money. There are no lights, water, transport, fuel, food and shelter for those that lack the element of money. It is easy for those that fail to grasp the problem of access to money to judge and condemn those that live under a bridge or hide in a shack when the rain and rivers threaten their survival. It is easy to look down on those that beg for money on the streets when you have enough funds in your account to survive one more month. I want to tell you that most of us are less than three months away from jointing those that I described above if for any unforeseen reason we lose our job or health and cannot continue working.
Rene
This is how the never ending cycle of entrapment is sustained.
You should by now understand that each one of us has a unique RESISTANCE bubble or energy field that encase us like a glove. Many of us live and die within the perimeters of our RESISTANCE zone. The biggest percentage of us is so dedicated to maintain our zone of RESISTANCE that we hardly ever venture outside its perimeters. We sometimes during moments of courage pull up the heavy draw bridge of our fortress of RESISTANCE and venture into the unknown. Our visits to the unknown zone are usually fleeting. We rush back to the safety of our walls the moment we run into anyone that criticize, question or confront us with stuff that fail to match the blueprints in our perception archive. There comes a time when we feel that we must find a partner.
We are then forced to venture out of our fortress. We begin our search for a suitable partner by matching the potential partner’s RESISTANCE against our own. We do our best to avoid bringing in a partner that might cause us discomfort. We reason that it will be very beneficial if we select a partner that closely matches the frequency of our own RESISTANCE level. That is why a partner with the same religious, political or race perceptions etc. is selected. We also know that there will be a gradual merging of the RESISTANCE levels of the partners. We try our level best to find a partner that will preferably enhance our own convictions and strengthen our RESISTANCE objectives. Our fear of the unknown immediately limits the number of potential partners that we have to choose from. When we find someone that we think will be a suitable partner we propose marriage. We then go through the prescribed rituals and gradually become a collective cluster of RESISTANCE.
We then when appropriate procreate and begin to produce children. The children arrive in this dimension with no perceptions and no fears. They are free mentally. They are little spiritual bundles of joy that love unconditionally. Both partners soon realize that it is imperative that this new arrival are domesticated and taught how to become an acceptable member of the society that they live in. Can you see how the process of enslavement happened to you as well? This is how the never ending cycle of entrapment is sustained.
Look around you today and see how man has been reduced to entities that live in tiny boxes. Look at the endless rows of dwellings that go on for as far as the eye can see. Inside each of the dwellings (boxes) are living beings with hopes and dreams that are more often than not too afraid to attempt anything that might rock the boat or cause discomfort. We vigorously RESIST anything or anyone that dare to trespass into our space. We create the impression that we are happy and successful from behind our picket or barbed wired security fences.
Rene
.
THINK IT AND INK IT – Life Changing!
‘
THINK IT AND INK IT
.
The simple act of writing down small, medium, short and long term goals that include our personal, family and careers immediately make a huge difference in our life. Massive power rushes into your system the very moment that you write down a goal and start acting on it. The simple act of writing down your goals start a powerful engine in your energy field that will assist you to achieve virtually anything you have the guts to dream about. The goals that you penned and acted on cannot escape you. I dare you to be bold and to write down a single goal that you wish to achieve in the next seven days.
Write down something that you want to achieve, obtain, improve, repair or adjust within the next seven days. There is no need to write a business plan and work out every detail of the task you want to conclude. Decide for example that you want to get your roof repaired that has been leaking for a while. Take a clean sheet of paper and write at the top of the page, I am going to repair the leaking roof by next Friday. Most of us tend to “think”, “I must really find the time to repair that leaking roof”, but soon fall into a procrastination rut. We have good intentions, but allow a million and one things to side-track us. We find fancy justifications for our lack of action and can justify away our inability to get the job done in weird and wonderful ways. I can guarantee you that the moment you write down your objective and start taking action to make it a reality something awesome begin to happen in your interior. You will soon discover that ideas begin to flow into your life that will assist you to achieve your stated objectives.
Randomly write all ideas that come to mind underneath the goal that you wrote down earlier. Do not validate the ideas that come to mind. Write all of them down. Now select one of the ideas listed that might seem most feasible at the moment and take the necessary action to execute that specific idea. You will discover that the moment you have a goal and you begin to take action something amazing begins to happen. New ideas, new methods and individuals that might be able to assist you will suddenly appear in your life. Friends, family and even strangers will display a desire to assist you to achieve your desired objective that you wrote down earlier.
Rene
.
Our life position is like a set of glasses through which we see the world.
.
The concept of life positions is another basic idea from transactional analysis theory. Life positions works with the assumption that we choose very early on in our life, before age 2, a basic stance towards ourselves and other people. It represents the fundamental stance a person takes about the essential value he or she perceives in him or herself and other people. Once a child has taken up a favourite position, they’re likely to construct the rest of their world view to match that life position. One could therefore also see a life position as one of the first scrip decisions a person makes.
Another way of saying the same thing is that our life position is like a set of glasses through which we see the world. If we end up with gray tinted glasses the whole world will look gray to us. If they are clear, we can see ourselves and the world as things are, good and bad, but mostly all sorts of colors and shapes.
The following diagram is called “The OK Corral” by Franklin Ernst (with some of my own adaptations). It shows the four basic life positions we can assume:
1 “I am ok, you are ok,” which is short for “I am ok with myself and with you too.”
2 “I am ok, you are not ok,” short for “I am ok, but I can’t rely on or trust you. I feel there is something wrong with other people around me.”
3 “I am not ok, you are ok,” short for “There is something fundamentally wrong with me, but everybody else is ok.”
4 “I am not ok, you are not ok,” short for “There is something fundamentally wrong with me and other people are unreliable, untrustworthy, wrong in some way too.”
It’s easy to see that the best place to come from is “‘I am ok, you are ok!”
I am not ok, you are ok
|
I am ok, you are ok
|
I am not ok, you are not ok
|
I am ok, you are not ok
|
Have a look at the diagram and think about your general stance in life. As adults, we don’t stay in one position all the time, but we shift between positions. Each of the childhood positions, which are a result of the quality of life and relationships we have experienced as a child, is reflected in grown-up life by a particular kind of social interaction, which acts under stress as a default pattern (e.g. the “getting on with” pattern of the “I am ok you are ok” position). Although we may have a default position due to childhood circumstances, we also have a choice of using our Adult ego state to stay in “I am ok, you are ok” as grown ups. By staying in “I am ok you are ok” we invite the best possible outcome, because we are expecting good things to happen and for other people to be reliable and trustworthy.
Your life position might be most apparent in your intimate relationship, because that’s where the stakes are highest. Additionally, we use the old attachment styles we learned as children to attach to our partners in the present. The “I am ok you are ok” position is the one which correlates with a secure attachment pattern, the others all expect abandonment, attack or rejection. If you do relate to your partner either generally or when things get tough, e.g. during arguments or absences, from a position that isn’t “I am ok, you are ok” you are expecting to get hurt due to an old pattern (also see script and transference). Unfortunately, our defensive styles often tend to invite what we most fear. If we keep putting ourselves down or not standing up for ourselves, because we relate to our partner from an “I am not ok, you are ok” position, the other person might finally get annoyed about our lack of self-confidence or indecisiveness.
It is important that you find a way to relate from an “I am ok you are ok” position as much as possible to your partner. And that he or she relates in the same way to you. Only then are you in a place where you can trust and respect yourself and the other person and you can be secure in knowing that you both are committed to working things out together when things get tough.
READ MORE AT THE LINK BELOW:
http://www.relationships-explained.com/pages/Life-positions.html
.
Lies told to your great, great grandparents still influence the CURRENT choices you make.
.
Your mind is like a fertile field that is prepared to grow concepts, ideas and opinions until they are mature enough to gain a life of their own. If we are lied to and we believe what we are told the seeds of these lies will sprout and grow in the fertile soil of our minds. A single lie can grow like a tree and ultimately spread millions of seeds of deceit that will not only contaminate our own lives, but the lives of everyone that come in contact with us. A single lie believed and acted on can thus continue to cause pain and disaster decades after it germinated in your head.
Knowledge captured and believed becomes like a structure in our minds that we use like a filter system to validate everything that we are exposed to daily. This filter system will accept and act on things that match our belief system and will react or reject anything that fail to match what we deem as truth. Most of the knowledge that we currently use through this filter device in our heads is defective and based on lies and half truths. You often have no idea of the source of the “truths” that you currently use. The original defective seed may have been planted in one of your ancestor’s heads many, many decades ago. Lies told to your great, great grandparents may be some of the false seeds that your own father or mothers planted in the fertile soil of your mind when you were still a child.
We all have a voice in our heads that talk persistently. Some of us call this voice that we hear thought, but if you listen carefully will discover that it sounds like a voice of someone that resides in our minds. This voice continually judges everything and everyone that we are exposed to. It tell us what is right and what is unacceptable, what is good and what is bad and what it think is to our advantage or disadvantage. This mystical voice can be compared to a commentator crossed with a critic. It gets up with us when we open our eyes in the morning and will sometimes babble on while we attempt to get a good night sleep at the end of a taxing day. This commentator/critic appeared early in our lives and continue its often toxic dialogue until the last breath leave our lips when we expire. This unwelcome guest in our head knows all our stories and survives because we feed it with our faith. We for some mystical reason seem to think that it knows best under all circumstances.
You arrived on this plane with a “hard drive” that contained no data at all. You were thus uncontaminated, loving, caring and spontaneous in the initial period of your life. You arrived from a higher dimension where you enjoyed the camaraderie of the fellow souls that shared this higher dimension with you. Some call this place heaven while call it paradise. You were then exposed to a wide range of “programmers” that started uploading knowledge (data) onto your mental hard drive in your head. You soon became aware of this voice in your head that started telling you stories about yourself. This voice told you when you were a good boy or girl and when you performed according to the program. This is the same voice that you still hear today when you are faced with choices or situations.
We were created at the same time that the “Big Bang” took place. We operated in collective consciousness. Our vibrations were high and our spiritual bodies perfectly merged with the endless number of other souls that occupied this dimension where love, joy, compassion bound us together in a unified field. We did not even know about the voice in our heads that would later cause us so much serious problems and distress. We were innocent like children at this stage. We were created initially with freedom of choice. It was our freedom of choice that allowed us to develop distinct personalise. Freedom of choice was necessary to prevent us from acting and reacting like robots. Some of us started experimenting with a wide range of projects. We even tried our hand at manifesting objects by focusing on energy clusters until they vibrated at a level where they solidified. We felt like the authors and painters that crystallize the thoughts and images in their heads on paper and canvas. It was an amazing experience that unfortunately went horribly wrong. I cannot say as time slipped by because time is an illusion.
Rene
.
Kick the door of opportunity down if it fail to open for you.
.
.
We all hit a wall in our lives where we feel everything is just against us. We hammer on the door of opportunity until our knuckles are raw, but know one invite us in. The key to overcome the waves of panic and pain is to trust that things will turn out ok like they did so many times before. Think back how you worried about a wide range of stuff at school and how most of them never materialised as horrific as expected. Let your mind glide through the scrap heap periods in your life and recall how many of the biggest disasters turned out ok in the end. Recall the wonderful lessons you learned and how certain individuals revealed to you that the path forward would be much more productive and pleasant without them. The biggest mistake we make when we are confronted by serious challenges is to allow the perceived magnitude to paralyze us. We start thinking in panic stricken circles and allow our minds to bind us in a state of non-action. There is nothing more lethal than a state of non-action blended with a brew of stinking thinking. The way out of any problem situation begins with calm and deliberate action. Relax and then kick the door of opportunity down if it fail to open for you. You do not have a financial problem. All you have is a shortfall on current available cash. Your cash flow can be remedied if you continue taking deliberate action. You need to write those letters and make those calls while you talk to as many people you can that can assist you. Non-action is the killer of dreams. Non-action and the waiting game destroys businesses, relationships and families. Your circumstances can change and solutions can come in the blink of an eye. The pass code that will open many doors for you and solve most problems is your attitude my friend.
Rene
.
We often know what we need/want in life, but we hardly ever do something about it.
WHAT PAIN OR PLEASURE WE LINK TO SITUATIONS AND PEOPLE DETERMINES HOW WE ACT AND REACT TO THEM. WE CANNOT ACT IN A MANNER THAT PROVOKES PAIN IN PEOPLE AND EXPECT RESPECT, LOVE AND COMPASSION FROM THEM!
People move towards pleasure provoking experiences and away from pain provoking experiences. They move towards people that make them feel good and away from people that make them feel worthless and defective. This law must always be kept in mind if you want to influence people in a positive manner.
It will be idiotic to constantly say and do things that cause somebody pain and expect loyalty and dedication from such person. How can you kick a person in the teeth and expect him or her to love and respect you. We might not always physically kick people, but some of the things we do, fail to do or say often cause more pain than a kick in the teeth.
Everything you do or refrain from doing is governed by your perception you have of such event. If you for example find it difficult to motivate yourself to do something that you know need to be done you will find “potential pain avoidance” at the root of you resistance. We usually select the potential pleasure route in all our actions and decisions. If we have any idea that we might be exposed to potentially pain we try our level best avoid such contacts.
Just think for a moment about this principle. When you see or think of certain people what reaction do they evoke in you? If a person activates any level of discomfort in you, you will always react and respond accordingly. An opinion is formed quickly and usually takes years to modify. Most people lives their live according to this law or principal. Once they formed a perception about something or someone it takes a massive jolt to dislodge perceptions. Because we are pleasure seeking entities we tend to run on tracks for the best part of our lives. We thus get stuck in a pattern and will continue to follow this path until the day we expire.
Leaders and champions are bold enough to break these patterns and confront their fears. They know that mediocre and substandard performances are caused by the avoidance of potential pain. You can never grow, learn and win while you remain in your comfort zone. It is only when you go beyond your comfort threshold that progress can be made.
.
I WILL BECOME OUTCOME FOCUSED TODAY. I WILL DO THE THINGS I FEAR UNTIL IT LOSES ITS HOLD ON MY MIND!
.
We often know what we need or want in life, but we hardly ever do something about it. The main reason for this is because we amplify the potential pain so much that it outweighs the potential pleasure that reaching our goal would provide us.
If you want to stop smoking or lose weight you have to make your perceived “outcome” so exciting and pleasure provoking that it will make the effort that will be needed to work through the potential pain part less dominant. You will never reach your desired objective while the fear of the pain outweighs the potential pleasure of the outcome. It is thus imperative that you desire your outcome more than the obstacle that you may encounter along the way. Only when you become excited and motivated about your outcome will you have enough staying power to hang in until the objective (pleasure) is achieved.
If you want to become influential, you will have to learn to use this law to your advantage. You will make it easy for people to be with you and do business with you. You will say and do things that will activate expectations of potential pleasure not pain. All your actions and reactions must show people that you respect their point of view and that you are there to help them to achieve their own objectives. Always remember that most people you deal with are running on preconceived tracks or perceptions.
Rene
.
Knowledge shines a light in the dark dungeons where fear hides.
.
Man fear failure, pain, loss, embarrassment, rejection, and a wide range of other stuff. Why do we allow the element of fear to play such a devastating role in our lives? The main reason seems to be that we don’t want to endure pain, discomfort and anxiety because we don’t enjoy the feelings that flood our body and mind. Have the thought ever cross your mind that we don’t fear the same stuff universally? Some of us will allow a spider to sit in our hand without showing any anxiety or fear. Some of us will give a speech in front of a massive audience and enjoy it. There are those that seem to be immune to verbal abuse and rejection. A thick skin repels verbal abuse like a rug treated with a soil repellent. The reason why we have different fear patterns is because those that conditioned us during childhood had different things that they feared during your formative years. There are certain fears that are more universal. Religion and politics in the area where you grew up is usually responsible for specific fears. Fear became a universal control system that is used openly, but more often than not subliminally by governments, religion, banks etc. to put you in an almost endless state of fear. Look around you and you will discover that the whole system was designed to control the masses. The more we fear the thicker the walls become around us that keep us a prisoner. We fear rejection and take endless abuse by our partner. We fear financial pressure and eat the abuse of a slave driving boss daily. We fear crime and build prisons with high walls with barbwire that we live in. We are also controlled by our fear of other races, religions, political groups and the potential of disasters like earth warming or the second coming of Christ. We often fear Muslims and Muslims hate (form of fear) Christian. Can you see the endless invisible chains that keep us locked in a state of mental paralysis? The only way that you can escape the fear trap is to see things as they are and not the way that your controllers want you to view them. Take anything you fear and start researching it. Make it your business to fully understand the dynamics of the subject of your research. Dig deep and ask questions. Knowledge will set you free. Knowledge shines a light in the dark dungeons where fear hides in your mind. Most of the stuff you fear is nothing more than toothless paper tigers that make a lot of noise. Be bold and select one subject today that you would like to expose to the light. I guarantee you that there is virtually nothing that can threaten you once you start applying this principle. Remember someone is benefiting from your fear. Ask yourself who is benefiting from your state of fear and you will identify your fear source and at the same time grasp his/her or their motivation.
Rene
.
Assertiveness – Don’t get personal/over-emotional when you feel your rights/being violated.
.
The feeling of personal power is key in all interpersonal relationships. Many people are not very clear about what assertiveness is and how it differs from aggressiveness. One main difference is that aggressiveness is about power over other people, while assertiveness is about being able to assert our rights and stand up for our thoughts and feelings while respecting the rights, thoughts and feelings of others.
Passive people habitually submit to other people’s dominance play, do not have clear boundaries, and are constantly being invaded by others. They tend to avoid conflict by not expressing their thoughts and feelings, avoid any sort of confrontations even when their basic rights are involved, which leaves them feeling – and being – victimized. At the same time, anger builds up in them, so when they do speak up, they tend to do it in an aggressive, attacking and blaming way rather than a constructive, solution-oriented, assertive way.
Aggressive people, on the other hand, attempt to impose their will on others, do not respect other people’s boundaries and are invasive and coercive. Aggressive people may get their way with some people at first, but in the long-run they alienate others, create a lot of stress in their social, family and work environment, experience a lot of failures in all interpersonal relationships and end up having no social support and feeling isolated and victimized themselves.
Somewhere in the middle stands assertiveness which is a way of communicating and behaving that respects the rights of all relationship partners. Assertiveness requires honesty, directness, self-confidence, knowing what your rights are and being able to defend them in positive, constructive ways. Learning to act more assertively will increase your sense of efficacy, of having an impact on your environment, your chances of having honest, straight-forward relationships, your chances of getting your needs met, will improve your ability to make your own decisions and get more satisfaction out of life.
Assertiveness is based on two important traits: relatively good self-confidence and good communication skills.
Self-confidence is built through our experience of effectiveness in the world. This effectiveness can be measured in many areas of experience, like academic or professional achievement, physical or athletic abilities, social and personal relationships, etc. Self-confidence is built from the inside out, meaning that we don’t expect others to provide us with self-confidence but we build it by giving ourselves credit for our strengths, virtues and accomplishments.
Good communication skills involve being a good listener as well being a good speaker and being able to appraise a situation in a cool-headed, non-defensive or fearful manner . Assertive communicators have developed some specific skills for standing up and speaking up for themselves. They have fewer conflicts in their dealings with others, and their needs are more frequently met, so they feel happier and more in control of life situations. Most people desiring to become more assertive start from a passive behavioral baseline and require quite a bit of practice in assertive communication skills before they can see any change in the power balance between them and other people. So start slowly in the beginning, and gradually practice more and more assertive communication skills.
Here are a few tips on what communication skills you need to develop and practice:
Maintain eye contact when you are in a conversation. This way you communicate a self-confident and honest message.
Be specific and direct about what you want, think or feel. Practice making statements like “I want to..”, or “I think…”.
Learn to say “no”.
Use your body language to emphasize your words. When making a demand or a request, stand up straight and speak in a loud and clear voice.
Don’t get personal or over-emotional when you feel your rights are being violated. Comment on the person’s behavior rather than attacking the person. Use “I” statements, instead of “you” statements that sound like accusations. Feel free to say, “I don’t like it when you yell at me” or “I don’t appreciate not being treated fairly”. Asserting yourself this way balances the power between you and the other person. Once you comment on the inappropriate behavior, don’t forget to request the more appropriate behavior that you would like to take its place, like, “I would like you to be on time when we have a date”.
Learn to reward people for positive behavior and establish a positive cooperative spirit in all interpersonal relationships.
Choose the right time and the right place for resolving issues, making sure that the other person is emotionally willing to start a conversation. Otherwise, whatever you have to say may be forgotten or overlooked.
Express your opinions honestly and do not hesitate to have a different opinion from that of other people even if those people are significant to you or in a position of authority – you still are entitled to your own opinions. “Own” your message, acknowledging that you opinion comes from your own perception of the situation, and your own frame of reference. If no agreement can be found that respects the opinion of both parties, then you can “agree to disagree” on the specific issue.
Practice leadership skills like making overtures to other people, offering positive suggestions to peers and colleagues in a positive, friendly, cooperative spirit, and supporting your own opinions, suggestions and proposals with clear and convincing arguments.
Ask for feedback. Encourage others to be clear, direct and specific in their feedback to you. This way, many misunderstandings in the conversation can be easily resolved and you also convey the message that you equally respect the opinion, feelings and rights of others as much as you respect your own.
Reward yourself every time you manage to overcome your fears and habitual passive reactions and are able to formulate an assertive response, regardless of its effect on the other person or the situation.
The important thing is that you keep practicing and reinforcing your assertive communication skills, rather than your initial effectiveness. It may be a new way of communicating for you, so it may take some time before it feels natural, but the more you practice your assertive communication skills, the more confidence you will gain and you will find out that not only is it really easy, but it’s also very effective.
Ismini Apostoli
ALSO READ
https://eagleman6788.wordpress.com/2012/11/03/being-assertive-10-tips-for-personal-power/
Life would be senseless/meaningless without problems/hardships/setbacks.
.
Humans enjoy playing board or computer games, provided the games are difficult and there are obstacles. We enjoy planning, scheming, being tested and challenged in order to finish the game. The challenges and obstacles make the game enjoyable and hook us to play for hours. Life would be senseless and meaningless without problems, hardships, setbacks and obstacles. Without the crises we experience, we will not appreciate the successes or peak experiences. The Chinese symbol for crisis comprises two characters, namely danger and opportunity. Every crisis may elicit feelings of apprehension, but it also presents an opportunity for change, growth and self-mastery. We do not always understand why certain difficult people come into our life, but there are no coincidences.
We do not always believe or accept that every person comes into our lives for a reason. We do not make mistakes or poor decisions because everything that happens to us, happens for a purpose and can be perceived as a lesson. The universe will present you with the problems and challenges that you need for your spiritual growth. Every situation, especially the adverse situations, is an opportunity to learn and to discover who you really are. If people betray or hurt you, it may be to teach you about trust or forgiveness. When faced with adversity, you have the opportunity to develop qualities such as inner strength, courage, resilience, self-discipline, willpower and resourcefulness. When people disappoint, manipulate or use you, they present you with opportunities to control your temper, to transcend your ego and to develop qualities such as patience, tolerance, unconditional love or forgiveness. Difficult people give you the opportunity to behave pro-actively and to access more light in order to attain self-mastery.
Susan Minnaar
Getting married/having/baby will not make him stop drinking/flirting/fighting.
.
.
The fool is under the impression that he can change people. People often change for a relative short period not because they see the error of their ways, but because it seems like a good strategic move to make to achieve a desire objective. The chances of a rotten person making a permanent change are less than a million to one. Accept a person without his history or take note of his history and run for the hills. Getting married will not make him stop drinking, flirting, fighting and will also not make him more caring or responsible. Having a baby will not make him more responsible and caring. Constantly giving someone money will not make him more productive. Punishing him for years will not prevent him from doing it again. Sulking for a day, week or month will not change his mind and heart. We live in a something for nothing world today. Doing as little as you can get away with seems to be a top priority. Using guilt or fear will not change anyone that lacks compassion and empathy. See things as they are my friend.
Rene
Stop going around like a cocked gun with a hair trigger.
.
.
WHEN YOU LOSE YOUR SENSE OF HUMOUR!
WHEN YOU LOSE YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR, GET A JOB RUNNING AN ELEVATOR, BECAUSE YOUR LIFE WILL BE A SERIES OF UPS AND DOWNS ANYWAY
Author unknown
.
OVER SENSITIVE PEOPLE A PAIN IN THE BACKSIDE: One of the biggest flaws that we can ever display is that of over sensitivity. I cannot think of any other characteristic that is a bigger hindrance to harmony and progress than that of over-sensitivity.
When you are forced to interact or live with a person that are hypersensitive that constantly interpret things in a negative manner your life can become hell on earth. When a person filters everything that you say or do through some kind of “suspicion filtering” device it puts a serious damper on spontaneity and honesty. Interaction with such a person is usually tiring and quite an ordeal. I once watched a person in a movie that discovered that he strayed into a minefield and how he carefully inched forward with hesitant shuffles in an attempt to avoid being blasted to kingdom come. Beads of perspiration ran down his face and you could read the terror and fear etched in his eyes.
I sometimes are quite surprised when I see how people are forced to select their words with utmost care and choose the subjects that they discuss even more carefully in an attempt to avoid that their listener becomes upset or sulk for weeks. I always knew that each world uttered carry with it a “package” of energy or feelings that can influence a person in a negative or positive manner, but when you talk to sensitive individuals they seem to discover a negative “connotation” in most things you say. I am convinced that sensitive individuals live only half a life. They are so serious about life and their egos are so fragile that it prevents them from really enjoying life.
Have you ever seen an egg with a very thin shell and how the slightest bump could cause a major mess on the kitchen floor? Hypersensitive people suffer with this “soft shell syndrome” and do not only make their own life extremely unpleasant, but also contaminate the lives of everybody that are connected to them.
Your attitude towards life creates the type of life you lead. If you are a sensitive person with a fragile disposition you are making life, that is already taxing, problem filled and complicated even more unpredictable. People treat you with the mood you set. If you are a wife that falls apart every time that your husband shares the slightest problem with you, you are forcing him to hide and camouflage things that he would love to share with you.
Most people in relationships make a big thing of “honesty” in their relationship. They threaten to leave their partner if he or she shows the slightest tendency to hide or water down information that could impact on their relationship, but fail to understand that hysterical over-reaction and two week sulking spells does not exactly promote such honesty.
If you want to survive this thing called life you need to develop a thicker skin and a more mature attitude. You need to discover the humour and lighter side of problems, people and life in general if you want to live a life of relative fun and harmony. Stop going around like a cocked gun with a hair trigger and learn to let your hair down once in a while. There is a time for everything in life. There is a time to become focused and serious, but then there comes a time that you must allow the child in you to come out and play for a while.
BALANCE IS THE KEY: Let us be honest and agree that we are living in difficult and alarming times today. If you are disaster focused you can find reasons to slit your wrists within half and hour after you crawled out of bed each morning. Your attitude towards life decides the stage that you set for yourself and the people that play on your “game chart” of life.
Have you ever considered how other people view you or what “feelings” they get when they think of you?
We underestimate this “feelings” side of life to our own peril. If people experience a feeling of “what a pain in the back-side” when they think of you, you need to take stock of your general attitude towards life. The “feelings” that you activate in people could make you “popular or a lone wolf”, “poor or rich”, “a leader or follower” or “a friend or enemy”. We should often ask ourselves, “Will I one day be remembered as a warm, kind, empathetic and adult person or will people secretly rejoice when I die?
Just for a moment sit down and think of the “feelings” that you possibly generate in your wife or husband, lover, children, friends, strangers and with your associates at work. You might shrug your shoulders and say, “who cares?” but deep inside you know that you need people in your life if you want to live any type of meaningful life. People will form part of your game of life for as long as you exist and how they feel about you could make your life pleasant and successful or a tragedy and series of pathetic failures.
I know that many of the people that you live with or are forced to share your game of life with are not exactly easy to get along with. If you are a reactive person you will allow their negative attitudes to impact on you and to set the tone of your own reactions to them. Can you see how either your own attitude or the negative attitude of someone else can start a negative cycle that will gather momentum and a life of its own? Once this negative pattern is set it becomes very difficult to break such destructive habit patterns.
We all yearn for a fairly tranquil and predictable life and should work on our attitude and focus on life all the times if we want to make our journey on this planet fairly pleasant and productive. Bring humor and light compassion into your heart and watch how people change and embrace the “new” you.
Rene
.
Words are like bullets/can never be reloaded once they leave your lips.
.
POWER TOOL: Recall this image the next time you want to say something rude or sarcastic to anyone. Words are like bullets and can never be reloaded once they leave your lips. Look back in your life and think of how many times your words killed the aspirations of your child. Think how what you said or failed to say wounded your partner. Remember how jumping to conclusions cause you to shoot your verbal bullets in all directions. Those that are wise do not pull the trigger and say the first things that come to mind. How many friends, family, strangers still make their way through life notwithstanding the number of your sarcastic or angry bullets that remain lodged in their minds and hearts? Learn that virtually nothing is serious enough to justify the range of wounds that our words leave in those we claim we love. Our objective on this planet is to learn, grow, mature and become love. A loving and mature person understand that their words can also forgive, heal, encourage and repair.
Rene
Words are possibly the most powerful things on earth. Why?
.
I’m almost afraid to publish this post.
It feels like passing out a loaded gun to every random stranger that passes by.
In the wrong hands it could be very dangerous.
But when I think about it, it’s already in the wrong hands. The hands of con artists and cult leaders and politicians. And there is no way to take that power from them except to make everyone else aware of it.
Have you ever thought—I mean really thought—about the power of language? Most of us take it for granted. Not only as a tool to tell our families we love them, or to ask where the bathroom is, or to get anything done at all, but as the only way to transmit complex ideas.
It can take a whole book to explain one concept, but assign a name to that concept within the book, and you create a shortcut. Then, if a person has read that book, you can speak one word that conjures up an entire world in their mind.
Quixotic is a simpler example; in Don Quixote, Cervantes (albeit unintentionally) created a word which combined two previously separate ideas: chivalrous and foolish.
Back in 1948, “big brother” meant nothing but “older male sibling.” Then Orwell came out with 1984 and more than 60 years later, we still use the phrase to mean an all-seeing, all-powerful totalitarian government.
Or take the word hnau from C.S. Lewis’s Out of the Silent Planet, used to differentiate between animals and intelligent lifeforms in a universe where humans are not the only intelligent lifeforms. That’s an inadequate explanation, because the distinction involves far more than intelligence, or even spirit or soul—you’ll have to read the book to understand it.
Point: words are more than labels. Words are the means of wrapping big ideas in small packages, so we can hand them off to each other almost effortlessly.Collapsible concepts. Portable philosophy.
This is possibly one of the most powerful things on earth. Why?
Because you can use it to change the way people think.
Take a simple example. Consider the difference between the synonyms said and claimed. “Bob said he saw Linda at the store,” is neutral. But change it to “Bob claimed he saw Linda at the store,” and suddenly you doubt Bob’s honesty.
Or go the opposite direction and put “Bob confirmed he saw Linda at the store,” and suddenly the statement is fact.
Now apply it to one of our portable philosophies. Say there’s been a break-in at your condominium and the homeowners’ association votes to put up security cameras in all the corridors, so they can monitor who goes in and out of every condo. The cameras go up and everyone feels a lot safer. Then somebody graffitis “BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU” on the wall beneath one camera. Suddenly you’re conjuring up images of emotionless masses in jumpsuits being presided over by a giant television screen that never shuts off. Suddenly you’re worried a little less about security and a little more about privacy. And the next time someone proposes a measure “for added security,” you’re a little slower to agree. You might flat-out oppose it.
Why does it take a whole book to explain?
It only took me six words to define Big Brother at the beginning of this post. So why aren’t we creating collapsible concepts left and right? Because it has to be more than a label. If we’re going to remember it later, it needs to strike a chord with us. It takes the emotional journey of Winston Smith to solidify Big Brother in our minds. That’s the power of stories.
Of course, chances are, you knew what Big Brother meant even if you haven’t read 1984—even if it never “struck a chord” with you. That’s because it struck a chord with so many other people that it became iconic. That’s the power of storieson a world-changing scale.
Obviously, this doesn’t happen every time anybody writes a book.
But it can happen.
Remember that next time you’re reading a dystopian novel, or watching the news, or starting a new paragraph in your WIP. Listen carefully—and write even more carefully.
.
Learn about something even more dangerous: the death of words.
Read more about mind control here.
.
Persuasion Tactics – People need to feel that they have made the right choice.
.
Having good persuasion skills has become a necessity in today’s fast-paced world. A large part of your success depends on the cooperation of other people. Influencing them to your way of thinking is now a very essential step in the fulfilment of your goals.
Here are 5 simple yet effective persuasion tactics you may use everyday to build loyal and lasting relationships through the power of persuasion and influence.
Tactic # 1: You Must Enter Their World.
Copy them. Observe how they act, how they speak, and how they think. If they rub their forehead while they think, act like them. If they speak at a clear and slow pace, try to do the same thing. This is called mirroring. In due time, the people you’re mirroring will subconsciously feel more comfortable with you. It’s as if they see themselves in you. However, you must proceed with caution. Do not let them be aware that you are copying them. They might interpret it as mockery and you’ll just get into trouble.
Tactic # 2: Meet Their Existing Needs and Desires.
People are self-centered. They are initially concerned with their own well-being before others. If you can prove that your proposal will provide more advantageous benefits to them than to your own, then they will probably accept it. If you could focus more on their interests, desires, needs, and expectations, then you would satisfy their cravings for attention. Moreover, it would show that you really care about them. Mutual trust and respect would be established. Satisfy the “What’s In It For Me?” test first, before convincing others to do what you want them to do.
Tactic # 3: Provide Them with Compelling Evidence.
Explain to them how your ideas or suggestions could be the most effective techniques to implement. Show them undeniable proof that you have the best product by way of testimonials, before and after scenarios, and detailed comparisons against your competitors. Just make sure that all your claims are true and verifiable. Always maintain a good reputation. Be friendly and nice. Smile to brighten up the day. Make a sincere compliment to raise their spirits. Little things like these count a lot. Make them feel that whenever they need help or just someone to look up to, you’ll always be there to lend a hand. They would tend to be more receptive to people that they trust.
Tactic # 4: Communicate Wittingly But Clearly.
Most people, if not all, would like to be accepted and to be perceived as likeable in the eyes of others. But what if you have to tell something undesirable to your friend, which is just for his or her own good? How can you get your message across without hurting their feelings? Substitute negative statements with positive ones. Instead of saying “You don’t understand,” say “Let me explain.” Instead of remarking “You’re wrong,” say “Permit me to clarify.” Instead of stating “You failed to say,” just mention “Perhaps this was not stated.” There are certain words that affect a person more negatively in comparison with other words that have the same meaning.
Tactic # 5: Agree with Them First…
Nothing could be more pleasing to the ear than hearing someone else say that you are right. In this case, be prepared to let other people know that you respect their opinions. You may add your comments at the end, but acknowledge them first. Say: You’re right, although … Great suggestion, however … I agree with your opinion, however … I would feel the same way if I were you, although … I understand your situation, however … Reassure your counterparts that the decision made will benefit both parties. People need to feel that they have made the right choice.
By Michael Lee
Author of How to Be an Expert Persuader
.
Book Review – “101 Relationship Myths”
.
Here’s an excerpt from “101 Relationship Myths” about sexual attraction”. Enjoy!
“One of the relationship myths that has caused me the most pain during the course of my “relationship career” is the idea that strong sexual attraction and falling in love means you’re compatible and a good match. So a couple of years ago I decided to take a closer look at this idea and find out if it’s really true that when you’re on cloud nine and feel strong sexual attraction to someone, it means you’re going to be a good match as a couple.
It didn’t take me long to find the answer. When I looked back at some of my previous relationships, I could see that even though we were really attracted to each other, the reality was that we were not that good a match. Yes we might have felt blissful or even in love in the beginning, but when it came to relationships, lifestyle and interests, we often had very different views, preferences and values.
This realization was a revelation to me. Up until then, I’d been basing my choice of partner on whether or not there was a strong sexual attraction between us and not on whether or not we were a good match. And suddenly I could see the painful consequences of this misunderstanding – for me and my partners.
One of the consequences of believing that strong sexual attraction means you’re a good match was that in the beginning of a new relationship, I often found myself exaggerating or only focusing on the woman’s “positive” sides (oh she’s so beautiful, so spiritual, and so forth) while downplaying or even ignoring her more “negative” sides. For example, I would overlook the sudden unkind remark that made me feel uncomfortable and instead sweep it under the carpet because I was so much in love. Or I’d accept an action or actions on her part that I’d never accept in anyone else. But in her case, because the attraction was so strong, I’d let it slide. And I have to admit that if I had been totally honest with myself, the truth was I already knew on the very first date, in the very first five minutes or so of our conversation, why the relationship would sooner or later become unworkable. Yes it’s true, I actually knew from the very beginning the reasons why we would not be a good match…
But because I was so infatuated and innocently believed that strong sexual attraction means you’re a good match, I ignored reality. And the result was almost always the same. As soon as the intoxication of falling in love began to wear off and the reality began to set in, it would become more and more painful for me to stay in the relationship. And then, the long, difficult battle to extricate myself would begin.
Find your core values
So if strong sexual attraction and falling in love don’t necessarily mean you’re a good match – what does? What makes two people a good match?
One of the things that make two people a good match is that they have the same “core” values. By having the same core values, I don’t mean being the same personality type or having the same education or working in the same field. I mean you have the same basic attitudes when it comes to what’s important in life, not least what’s important when it comes to relationships.
One of the reasons why many relationships get into serious trouble is that the man and the woman don’t have the same core values. A “mismatch” like this usually spells trouble because most people live according to their core values – and usually unconsciously expect their partners to do so too. This can be problematic when these core values don’t match. Let’s take an example. Let’s say one of your core values is “freedom” while your partner’s core values are “security and feeling safe”. Obviously this can make your relationship problematic because you will both unconsciously be expecting the other to behave in a manner that is in conflict with his or her core value or values. So when you are faithful to your core value and give yourself and your partner lots of “freedom”, your partner may get upset and feel insecure because his/her core values of “security and feeling safe” are not being met or are threatened. The opposite is true too. When your partner tries to live in harmony with his/her core value and strives for “security” for example, by wanting clear agreements on how you do things, the “freedom-loving” partner feels stifled and inhibited. You feel your core value of “freedom” is being threatened. So this is why it is so important to be more aware of what you and your partner’s (or a potential partner’s) core values are.
My former girlfriend, sexologist and couples therapist Joan Ørting has developed a good exercise to help us become more aware of our core values when it comes to relationships. I suggest you give this exercise a try – it can be really interesting. Ask yourself the following questions and answer as honestly as you can.
Question: What is most important for you in a relationship?
Answer: That my partner accepts me and loves me unconditionally.
Question: How does it make you feel when your partner accepts you and loves you unconditionally?
Answer: It makes me feel SAFE.
Conclusion: So feeling SAFE is one of your core values.
Repeat the questions until you identify 3-5 of your main core values. Once you’ve done this, prioritize the values so that you end up with a list that looks like this:
My core values when it comes to relationships:
1) FEELING SAFE
2) BEING TOGETHER
3) JOY
Or perhaps you’ll come up with a list of core values that looks like this:
1) FREEDOM
2) ADVENTURE
3) BEING TOGETHER
Becoming aware of your core values can be a really big help when it comes to determining if you and a potential partner are a good match. And if you’re already in a relationship and are having problems, it may be because your core values do not match. So it can also be helpful to do this exercise with your partner and then talk about what your respective core values are. Understanding how your core values differ can make it easier to communicate with each other in the future.”
.
Click here to read a short extract from the book.
.
When we forgive ourselves and others, we are literally time traveling.
.
In the Western world we’re taught to perceive time based on the clock ticking forward linearly.
However, spiritual wisdom challenges this notion through the possibility of parallel universes and time travel. And while we may not be able to magically click our heels and end up in a different time and place, we can allow our minds the joy of time travel by visualizing and creating the type of existence we seek to have.
1) Change the Meaning of the Past
Dr. Fred Alan Wolf, theoretical physicist specializing in quantum physics, suggests that when we forgive ourselves and others, we are literally time traveling.
This is because we are travelling with our mind, back into the past and then changing an imprint or meaning we gave to an event. And by changing a meaning or our perspective, we change our world.
For example, when we feel anger or resentment towards another, or to life in general, we carry this feeling forward through time and create a future that attracts such feelings too.
So forgiveness isn’t about making another person right, it’s about saying you will not take your suffering forward with you into the future.
2) Jump Into the Future
When you visualize the life you want to live, you’re sending that message to the Universe and stating the type of future you desire to have.
And with so many realms of the Universe being unknown, including that of parallel universes, it’s exciting to visualize and connect with a “greater you” in the Universe, and then project this person into your future.
As through this visualization process and the Law of Attraction, and the more you focus on the type of future you want (and who you want to be), the stronger that possibility becomes.
This is the fun that comes from living the “wish fulfilled,” as by imagining the future you would like to play a part in, and feeling the gratitude as if it existed right now, you can let go and make choices that move you in that direction.
3) Embrace the Now
Have you ever experienced moments where you’ve been so consumed by creativity that the passing of time has only seemed like minutes, when in fact, it’s been hours because you lost your perception of time?
So when we allow our minds to venture off into a creative space, without looking at the time (and when free from the ego), our minds connect with the divine power that resides within us and time travels to another place.
According to Indian sage, Patanjali, there are even more joys and ways to experience “time travel” as we progress along our path of inner knowing. But for now, use your days to transcend time with some of the above suggestions, and become your own quantum creator.
.
By Matthew Ashdown / Source: MindTrip Magazine
The THREE SECONDS formula that will change your life.
.
The THREE SECONDS formula that will change your life
The THREE SECONDS formula that will change your life
The THREE SECONDS formula that will change your life
.
PART 1 – INTRODUCTION
.
.
I want to show you how the three seconds formula can do more for you than the reading of a hundred self-help books, attending endless lectures on self-development or meditating under a waterfall.
Many of us go around with hundreds of painful memories that wash over us feelings of guilt, fear, anxiety, remorse and shame when triggered. They are dormant and inactive events stored in your subconscious mind that jump to life when triggered. The triggers can come in many ways, It can be your own thoughts, something said or done by someone or even something you notice in the street.
Everything that you see around you started with a thought in someone’s mind. A thought acted on and believed in immediately start a creation process in universal consciousness. The more attention (thought) you give anything (good or evil) the faster it will germinate and grow. You are the creator or your life and circumstances. Your faith (negative or positive) drive your thoughts and feelings until they become a reality. The more you think about anything the more you speed up the manifestation process.
This should be good news for you if your thoughts contain positive and productive intentions. It can also be bad news for you if you discover that you are growing most of the stuff that stifle your growth using this same method. Your thoughts can be your biggest enemy or it can be the magic wand to your success.
.
How to manage negative thoughts triggered by yourself or anyone else
.
There is a saying that someone said nothing until you react to what was said. There is also a saying that thoughts become things. The key that will dramatically change all areas of your life is to master the three second method.
You need to consciously stop any thought or event that triggers negative and destructive reactions in you. You have at most three seconds to repel the incoming thought before it will trigger an avalanche of feelings and images that lay in waiting in your sub-conscious mind.
The key is to immediately repel any thought, comment or trigger that generates defensive reactions in you . Do not allow it to fester and grow. Stop and take your mind off the thought immediately for best results. Focus on something else and let the thought slide away into oblivion where it belongs. Kill off any reaction by focusing on something around you that demands no effort from you. Look at a picture on the wall or check the time on your watch. Focus on anything that will in these critical seconds block your old habitual reaction pattern to kick in.
I promise you that your life will immediately confirm that this powerful method is fool proof. Your relationships will change and your career will take on a new meaning. Remember practice makes perfect. Do it once and you will be astonished how different you feel. Do it for five minutes and you will already feel the benefits attached to this method. Do it for a week or a month and you will have no desire to return to the old painful way that you allowed your own thoughts, people or events to influence your life. Don’t worry if you have a few relapses while you learn to master this method. Allow your relapses to remind you that the way to go is the three second method.
Rene
.
The THREE SECONDS formula that will change your life
The THREE SECONDS formula that will change your life
The THREE SECONDS formula that will change your life
.
.
READ THE SERIES – LINKS BELOW
.
Part 2 – The THREE SECONDS formula that will change your life!
https://eagleman6788.wordpress.com/2015/03/24/part-2-the-three-seconds-formula-that-will-change-your-life/
PART 3 – The THREE SECONDS formula that will change your life
https://eagleman6788.wordpress.com/2015/03/26/the-three-seconds-formula-that-will-change-your-life-part-3/
Part 4 – The THREE SECONDS formula that will change your life
https://eagleman6788.wordpress.com/2015/03/28/part-4-the-three-seconds-formula-that-will-change-your-life/
PART 5 – The THREE SECONDS formula that will change your life
https://eagleman6788.wordpress.com/2015/03/29/part-5-the-three-seconds-formula-that-will-change-your-life/
PART 6 – The THREE SECONDS formula that will change your life
https://eagleman6788.wordpress.com/2015/03/30/part-6-the-three-seconds-formula-that-will-change-your-life/
PART 7 – The THREE SECONDS formula that will change your life
https://eagleman6788.wordpress.com/2015/04/01/part-7-the-three-seconds-formula-that-will-change-your-life/
PART 8 – The THREE SECONDS formula that will change your life
https://eagleman6788.wordpress.com/2015/04/03/part-8-the-three-seconds-formula-that-will-change-your-life/
PART 9 – The THREE SECONDS formula that will change your life
https://eagleman6788.wordpress.com/2015/04/07/part-9-the-three-seconds-formula-that-will-change-your-life/
PART 10 – The THREE SECONDS formula that will change your life
https://eagleman6788.wordpress.com/2015/04/10/part-10-the-three-seconds-formula-that-will-change-your-life/
Life would be senseless/meaningless without problems/hardships/setbacks and obstacles.
.
Humans enjoy playing board or computer games, provided the games are difficult and there are obstacles. We enjoy planning, scheming, being tested and challenged in order to finish the game. The challenges and obstacles make the game enjoyable and hook us to play for hours. Life would be senseless and meaningless without problems, hardships, setbacks and obstacles. Without the crises we experience, we will not appreciate the successes or peak experiences. The Chinese symbol for crisis comprises two characters, namely danger and opportunity. Every crisis may elicit feelings of apprehension, but it also presents an opportunity for change, growth and self-mastery. We do not always understand why certain difficult people come into our life, but there are no coincidences.
We do not always believe or accept that every person comes into our lives for a reason. We do not make mistakes or poor decisions because everything that happens to us, happens for a purpose and can be perceived as a lesson. The universe will present you with the problems and challenges that you need for your spiritual growth. Every situation, especially the adverse situations, is an opportunity to learn and to discover who you really are. If people betray or hurt you, it may be to teach you about trust or forgiveness. When faced with adversity, you have the opportunity to develop qualities such as inner strength, courage, resilience, self-discipline, willpower and resourcefulness. When people disappoint, manipulate or use you, they present you with opportunities to control your temper, to transcend your ego and to develop qualities such as patience, tolerance, unconditional love or forgiveness. Difficult people give you the opportunity to behave pro-actively and to access more light in order to attain self-mastery.
Susan Minnaar
.
PORTABLE LIFE SKILLS DAILY WISDOM GUIDE 