Most of us AUTOMATICALLY slip into our reaction patterns and our SELF-ESTEEMS start dominating all our actions/reaction.

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The ROOT CAUSE of most of our PROBLEMS and FRUSTRATIONS can be traced to an INADEQUATE SELF-IMAGE and SELF-ESTEEM. Our feelings of inadequacy stem from FEELINGS and IMAGES that we stored in our heads when we were five, six or seven years old. We formed perceptions about ourselves at this young age. These feelings and images have been around since then. These FEELINGS, EMOTIONS and IMAGES still govern everything you do, say or the way you interpret what other say or do. They say that the average person use less than 5% of his/her potential. It stands to reason that it is very difficult to confront PROBLEMS or PERFORM above average when your using the SELF-IMAGE and SELF-ESTEEM of a child of six to drive your GOALS and DREAMS or attempt to SOLVE PROBLEMS. Can you think what disorder you would create if you assigned fairly mundane project to a six year old? We learned and gain in experience and cope to some extent with our day-today activities, but run into problems when these day-to-day activities trigger our feelings and emotions. Most of us AUTOMATICALLY slip into our reaction patterns and our SELF-ESTEEMS start dominating all our actions and reaction. We react with ANGER, EMOTIONAL OUTBURSTS. We apportion BLAME, become JEALOUS or SULK when things don’t go our way. You may feel that it is impossible, but ponder what I shared above and you will soon agree that many of the INADEQUACIES programmed into our heads are still ACTIVE and CONTROL many of our thoughts, feelings, decisions and responses.

Rene

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.

 

The ROOT CAUSE of most of our PROBLEMS and FRUSTRATIONS can be traced to an INADEQUATE SELF-IMAGE and SELF-ESTEEM.

.

The ROOT CAUSE of most of our PROBLEMS and FRUSTRATIONS can be traced to an INADEQUATE SELF-IMAGE and SELF-ESTEEM. Our feelings of inadequacy stem from FEELINGS and IMAGES that we stored in our heads when we were five, six or seven years old. We formed perceptions about ourselves at this young age. These feelings and images have been around since then. These FEELINGS, EMOTIONS and IMAGES still govern everything you do, say or the way you interpret what other say or do. They say that the average person use less than 5% of his/her potential. It stands to reason that it is very difficult to confront PROBLEMS or PERFORM above average when your using the SELF-IMAGE and SELF-ESTEEM of a child of six to drive your GOALS and DREAMS or attempt to SOLVE PROBLEMS. Can you think what disorder you would create if you assigned fairly mundane project to a six year old? We learned and gain in experience and cope to some extent with our day-today activities, but run into problems when these day-to-day activities trigger our feelings and emotions. Most of us AUTOMATICALLY slip into our reaction patterns and our SELF-ESTEEMS start dominating all our actions and reaction. We react with ANGER, EMOTIONAL OUTBURSTS. We apportion BLAME, become JEALOUS or SULK when things don’t go our way. You may feel that it is impossible, but ponder what I shared above and you will soon agree that many of the INADEQUACIES programmed into our heads are still ACTIVE and CONTROL many of our thoughts, feelings, decisions and responses.

Rene

.

.

 

9 Steps to Achieving Your Goals. Believing in your ability to succeed is enormously helpful for creating and sustaining your motivation.

 

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.

Why have you been so successful in reaching some of your goals, but not others? If you aren’t sure, you are far from alone in your confusion.

 

It turns out that even brilliant, highly accomplished people are pretty lousy when it comes to understanding why they succeed or fail.

 

The intuitive answer — that you are born predisposed to certain talents and lacking in others — is really just one small piece of the puzzle. In fact, decades of research on achievement suggests that successful people reach their goals not simply because of who they are, but more often because of what they do.

9 Steps to Achieving Your Goals

 

1. Get specific. When you set yourself a goal, try to be as specific as possible. “Lose 5 pounds” is a better goal than “lose some weight,” because it gives you a clear idea of what success looks like. Knowing exactly what you want to achieve keeps you motivated until you get there.

 

Also, think about the specific actions that need to be taken to reach your goal. Just promising you’ll “eat less” or “sleep more” is too vague — be clear and precise. “I’ll be in bed by 10pm on weeknights” leaves no room for doubt about what you need to do, and whether or not you’ve actually done it.

  

2. Seize the moment to act on your goals. Given how busy most of us are, and how many goals we are juggling at once, it’s not surprising that we routinely miss opportunities to act on a goal because we simply fail to notice them. Did you really have no time to work out today? No chance at any point to return that phone call? Achieving your goal means grabbing hold of these opportunities before they slip through your fingers.

To seize the moment, decide when and where you will take each action you want to take, in advance. Again, be as specific as possible (e.g., “If it’s Monday, Wednesday, or Friday, I’ll work out for 30 minutes before work.”) Studies show that this kind of planning will help your brain to detect and seize the opportunity when it arises, increasing your chances of success by roughly 300%.

3. Know exactly how far you have left to go. Achieving any goal also requires honest and regular monitoring of your progress — if not by others, then by you yourself. If you don’t know how well you are doing, you can’t adjust your behavior or your strategies accordingly. Check your progress frequently — weekly, or even daily, depending on the goal.

 

4. Be a realistic optimist. When you are setting a goal, by all means engage in lots of positive thinking about how likely you are to achieve it. Believing in your ability to succeed is enormously helpful for creating and sustaining your motivation.

But whatever you do, don’t underestimate how difficult it will be to reach your goal. Most goals worth achieving require time, planning, effort, and persistence. Studies show that thinking things will come to you easily and effortlessly leaves you ill-prepared for the journey ahead, and significantly increases the odds of failure.

 

5. Focus on getting better, rather than being good. Believing you have the ability to reach your goals is important, but so is believing you can get the ability. Many of us believe that our intelligence, our personality, and our physical aptitudes are fixed — that no matter what we do, we won’t improve. As a result, we focus on goals that are all about proving ourselves, rather than developing and acquiring new skills.

Fortunately, decades of research suggest that the belief in fixed ability is completely wrong — abilities of all kinds are profoundly malleable. Embracing the fact that you can change will allow you to make better choices, and reach your fullest potential. People whose goals are about getting better, rather than being good, take difficulty in stride, and appreciate the journey as much as the destination.

 

6. Have grit. Grit is a willingness to commit to long-term goals, and to persist in the face of difficulty. Studies show that gritty people obtain more education in their lifetime, and earn higher college GPAs. Grit predicts which cadets will stick out their first grueling year at West Point. In fact, grit even predicts which round contestants will make it to at the Scripps National Spelling Bee.

The good news is, if you aren’t particularly gritty now, there is something you can do about it. People who lack grit more often than not believe that they just don’t have the innate abilities successful people have. If that describes your own thinking… well, there’s no way to put this nicely: you are wrong. As I mentioned earlier, effort, planning, persistence, and good strategies are what it really takes to succeed. Embracing this knowledge will not only help you see yourself and your goals more accurately, but also do wonders for your grit.

7. Build your willpower muscle. Your self-control “muscle” is just like the other muscles in your body — when it doesn’t get much exercise, it becomes weaker over time. But when you give it regular workouts by putting it to good use, it will grow stronger and stronger, and better able to help you successfully reach your goals.

To build willpower, take on a challenge that requires you to do something you’d honestly rather not do. Give up high-fat snacks, do 100 sit-ups a day, stand up straight when you catch yourself slouching, try to learn a new skill. When you find yourself wanting to give in, give up, or just not bother — don’t.

 

Start with just one activity, and make a plan for how you will deal with troubles when they occur (“If I have a craving for a snack, I will eat one piece of fresh or three pieces of dried fruit.”) It will be hard in the beginning, but it will get easier, and that’s the whole point. As your strength grows, you can take on more challenges and step-up your self-control workout.

 

8. Don’t tempt fate. No matter how strong your willpower muscle becomes, it’s important to always respect the fact that it is limited, and if you overtax it you will temporarily run out of steam. Don’t try to take on two challenging tasks at once, if you can help it (like quitting smoking and dieting at the same time). And don’t put yourself in harm’s way — many people are overly-confident in their ability to resist temptation, and as a result they put themselves in situations where temptations abound. Successful people know not to make reaching a goal harder than it already is.

 

9. Focus on what you will do, not what you won’t do. Do you want to successfully lose weight, quit smoking, or put a lid on your bad temper? Then plan how you will replace bad habits with good ones, rather than focusing only on the bad habits themselves. Research on thought suppression (e.g., “Don’t think about white bears!”) has shown that trying to avoid a thought makes it even more active in your mind. The same holds true when it comes to behavior — by trying not to engage in a bad habit, our habits get strengthened rather than broken.

If you want change your ways, ask yourself, What will I do instead? For example, if you are trying to gain control of your temper and stop flying off the handle, you might make a plan like “If I am starting to feel angry, then I will take three deep breaths to calm down.” By using deep breathing as a replacement for giving in to your anger, your bad habit will get worn away over time until it disappears completely.

It is my hope that, after reading about the nine things successful people do differently, you have gained some insight into all the things you have been doing right all along. Even more important, I hope are able to identify the mistakes that have derailed you, and use that knowledge to your advantage from now on.

Remember, you don’t need to become a different person to become a more successful one. It’s never what you are, but what you do.

.

Heidi Grant Halvorson, Ph.D. is the author of the new book Succeed: How We Can Reach Our Goals.

 

By Heidi Grant Halvorson

Source: Harvard Business Review

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.

 

Many of us go around with a victim mentality.

 

 .

Many of us go around with a victim mentality. We allow life and people to dictate our lives. We almost always fall short of their selfish requirements. Nothing in life that is worthwhile comes to us because we have a nice smile or a submissive attitude. We need to walk tall and go for our goals and dreams in a positive and decisive manner. It is silly to think that we will be treated with respect if we allow people to sweep the floors with us. There is a time to be warm, kind and flexible, but then there are occasions that we must walk tall, become strong and do what needs to be done.

 

Rene

 

Nothing in life that is worthwhile comes to us because we have a nice smile or a submissive attitude.

.

Many of us go around with a victim mentality. We allow life and people to dictate our lives. We almost always fall short of their selfish requirements. Nothing in life that is worthwhile comes to us because we have a nice smile or a submissive attitude. We need to walk tall and go for our goals and dreams in a positive and decisive manner. It is silly to think that we will be treated with respect if we allow people to sweep the floors with us. There is a time to be warm, kind and flexible, but then there are occasions that we must walk tall, become strong and do what needs to be done. We must stop waiting that things will change. What you think and do create your fate and future. We cannot allow others to do our thinking. This is how we end up in the victim roles that are often forced on us. Your are like a ship without a sail if you have no goals and dreams that you are busy acting on. You live your life on a reactive basis if you wait for life to come to you.  

Rene

 

The ROOT CAUSE of most of our PROBLEMS and FRUSTRATIONS can be traced to an INADEQUATE SELF-IMAGE and SELF-ESTEEM.

The ROOT CAUSE of most of our PROBLEMS and FRUSTRATIONS can be traced to an INADEQUATE SELF-IMAGE and SELF-ESTEEM. Our feelings of inadequacy stem from FEELINGS and IMAGES that we stored in our heads when we were five, six or seven years old. We formed perceptions about ourselves at this young age. These feelings and images have been around since then. These FEELINGS, EMOTIONS and IMAGES still govern everything you do, say or the way you interpret what other say or do. They say that the average person use less than 5% of his/her potential. It stands to reason that it is very difficult to confront PROBLEMS or PERFORM above average when your using the SELF-IMAGE and SELF-ESTEEM of a child of six to drive your GOALS and DREAMS or attempt to SOLVE PROBLEMS. Can you think what disorder you would create if you assigned fairly mundane project to a six year old? We learned and gain in experience and cope to some extent with our day-today activities, but run into problems when these day-to-day activities trigger our feelings and emotions. Most of us AUTOMATICALLY slip into our reaction patterns and our SELF-ESTEEMS start dominating all our actions and reaction. We react with ANGER, EMOTIONAL OUTBURSTS. We apportion BLAME, become JEALOUS or SULK when things don’t go our way. You may feel that it is impossible, but ponder what I shared above and you will soon agree that many of the INADEQUACIES programmed into our heads are still ACTIVE and CONTROL many of our thoughts, feelings, decisions and responses.

Rene

 

 

9 Steps to Achieving Your Goals – Believing in your ability to succeed is enormously helpful for creating and sustaining your motivation.

Why have you been so successful in reaching some of your goals, but not others? If you aren’t sure, you are far from alone in your confusion.

It turns out that even brilliant, highly accomplished people are pretty lousy when it comes to understanding why they succeed or fail.

The intuitive answer — that you are born predisposed to certain talents and lacking in others — is really just one small piece of the puzzle. In fact, decades of research on achievement suggests that successful people reach their goals not simply because of who they are, but more often because of what they do.

9 Steps to Achieving Your Goals

 

1. Get specific. When you set yourself a goal, try to be as specific as possible. “Lose 5 pounds” is a better goal than “lose some weight,” because it gives you a clear idea of what success looks like. Knowing exactly what you want to achieve keeps you motivated until you get there.

Also, think about the specific actions that need to be taken to reach your goal. Just promising you’ll “eat less” or “sleep more” is too vague — be clear and precise. “I’ll be in bed by 10pm on weeknights” leaves no room for doubt about what you need to do, and whether or not you’ve actually done it.

  

2. Seize the moment to act on your goals. Given how busy most of us are, and how many goals we are juggling at once, it’s not surprising that we routinely miss opportunities to act on a goal because we simply fail to notice them. Did you really have no time to work out today? No chance at any point to return that phone call? Achieving your goal means grabbing hold of these opportunities before they slip through your fingers.

To seize the moment, decide when and where you will take each action you want to take, in advance. Again, be as specific as possible (e.g., “If it’s Monday, Wednesday, or Friday, I’ll work out for 30 minutes before work.”) Studies show that this kind of planning will help your brain to detect and seize the opportunity when it arises, increasing your chances of success by roughly 300%.

3. Know exactly how far you have left to go. Achieving any goal also requires honest and regular monitoring of your progress — if not by others, then by you yourself. If you don’t know how well you are doing, you can’t adjust your behavior or your strategies accordingly. Check your progress frequently — weekly, or even daily, depending on the goal.

4. Be a realistic optimist. When you are setting a goal, by all means engage in lots of positive thinking about how likely you are to achieve it. Believing in your ability to succeed is enormously helpful for creating and sustaining your motivation.

But whatever you do, don’t underestimate how difficult it will be to reach your goal. Most goals worth achieving require time, planning, effort, and persistence. Studies show that thinking things will come to you easily and effortlessly leaves you ill-prepared for the journey ahead, and significantly increases the odds of failure.

5. Focus on getting better, rather than being good. Believing you have the ability to reach your goals is important, but so is believing you can get the ability. Many of us believe that our intelligence, our personality, and our physical aptitudes are fixed — that no matter what we do, we won’t improve. As a result, we focus on goals that are all about proving ourselves, rather than developing and acquiring new skills.

Fortunately, decades of research suggest that the belief in fixed ability is completely wrong — abilities of all kinds are profoundly malleable. Embracing the fact that you can change will allow you to make better choices, and reach your fullest potential. People whose goals are about getting better, rather than being good, take difficulty in stride, and appreciate the journey as much as the destination.

6. Have grit. Grit is a willingness to commit to long-term goals, and to persist in the face of difficulty. Studies show that gritty people obtain more education in their lifetime, and earn higher college GPAs. Grit predicts which cadets will stick out their first grueling year at West Point. In fact, grit even predicts which round contestants will make it to at the Scripps National Spelling Bee.

The good news is, if you aren’t particularly gritty now, there is something you can do about it. People who lack grit more often than not believe that they just don’t have the innate abilities successful people have. If that describes your own thinking… well, there’s no way to put this nicely: you are wrong. As I mentioned earlier, effort, planning, persistence, and good strategies are what it really takes to succeed. Embracing this knowledge will not only help you see yourself and your goals more accurately, but also do wonders for your grit.

7. Build your willpower muscle. Your self-control “muscle” is just like the other muscles in your body — when it doesn’t get much exercise, it becomes weaker over time. But when you give it regular workouts by putting it to good use, it will grow stronger and stronger, and better able to help you successfully reach your goals.

To build willpower, take on a challenge that requires you to do something you’d honestly rather not do. Give up high-fat snacks, do 100 sit-ups a day, stand up straight when you catch yourself slouching, try to learn a new skill. When you find yourself wanting to give in, give up, or just not bother — don’t.

Start with just one activity, and make a plan for how you will deal with troubles when they occur (“If I have a craving for a snack, I will eat one piece of fresh or three pieces of dried fruit.”) It will be hard in the beginning, but it will get easier, and that’s the whole point. As your strength grows, you can take on more challenges and step-up your self-control workout.

 

8. Don’t tempt fate. No matter how strong your willpower muscle becomes, it’s important to always respect the fact that it is limited, and if you overtax it you will temporarily run out of steam. Don’t try to take on two challenging tasks at once, if you can help it (like quitting smoking and dieting at the same time). And don’t put yourself in harm’s way — many people are overly-confident in their ability to resist temptation, and as a result they put themselves in situations where temptations abound. Successful people know not to make reaching a goal harder than it already is.

9. Focus on what you will do, not what you won’t do. Do you want to successfully lose weight, quit smoking, or put a lid on your bad temper? Then plan how you will replace bad habits with good ones, rather than focusing only on the bad habits themselves. Research on thought suppression (e.g., “Don’t think about white bears!”) has shown that trying to avoid a thought makes it even more active in your mind. The same holds true when it comes to behavior — by trying not to engage in a bad habit, our habits get strengthened rather than broken.

If you want change your ways, ask yourself, What will I do instead? For example, if you are trying to gain control of your temper and stop flying off the handle, you might make a plan like “If I am starting to feel angry, then I will take three deep breaths to calm down.” By using deep breathing as a replacement for giving in to your anger, your bad habit will get worn away over time until it disappears completely.

It is my hope that, after reading about the nine things successful people do differently, you have gained some insight into all the things you have been doing right all along. Even more important, I hope are able to identify the mistakes that have derailed you, and use that knowledge to your advantage from now on.

Remember, you don’t need to become a different person to become a more successful one. It’s never what you are, but what you do.

Heidi Grant Halvorson, Ph.D. is the author of the new book Succeed: How We Can Reach Our Goals.

 

By Heidi Grant Halvorson

Source: Harvard Business Review

 

The choices that you make will lead you toward or away from your goals and dreams.

 

 

 

To accomplish (1) great things we must not only act (2), but also dream (3), not only plan (4), but also believe (5).

 Anatole France

The word accomplish is not always fully understood by people. The word (1) accomplish signifies to finish, complete or bring something to an end. You cannot claim that you accomplished your goal or objective if you do not bring something to a successful conclusion. Most people are excellent at starting things, but the real winners in life understand that without completion there is no reason to celebrate.

You might plant your seeds in the garden of life, but if you fail to follow through you will not reap the fruit of your labour. Everything that is worthwhile accomplishing starts with a dream (3). Most of the wonderful inventions you see around you today started with an idea in the head of someone. When the idea is transformed into a dream it is given the opportunity to materialize. Most people allow their ideas and dreams to die unceremoniously in their heads.

Most of the most brilliant inventions never got past the dream stage because their owners never acted (2) on their inspirations. The best books were never written because the potential authors could not summon up enough courage to write the first page. If you want to make your dreams a reality you need to think up a plan (4) to take it past the dream stage.

Only a few people get past their own negative self-talk. Most people do not have the courage and fortitude to take something through to a successful conclusion. Friends and family are excellent flaw finders, but usually do not have any plans of their own. Most of them resigned themselves to what they call their “fate” in life and know that they will remain just a face in the crowd of faceless mediocre people.

When you listen to the fainthearted you will become one of their clan. You will see danger and failure in every shadow. It takes courage and lots of faith in your ideas, dreams and plans if you want to take them through to a successful conclusion. You must believe (5) if you want to achieve. You must not allow negative thinkers to shoot down your plans and goals.

They say faith can move mountains. When you really believe in your mission you will overcome all obstacles that attempt to prevent you from achieving your objectives.

I WILL ACCOMPLISH ANY TASK THAT I FOCUS ON BECAUSE I AM DETERMINED AND MOTIVATED. I WILL PERSIST UNTIL MY DREAM BECOMES A REALITY!

You are the creator of your own successes and failures. The choices that you make will lead you toward or away from your goals and dreams. The cowards are afraid to act because they fear failure. The winners accept that failure is not a destination, but simply a part of the process. Nothing worthwhile was ever achieved without serious effort and painful failures. All that failure indicates to you is that you still need to make a few modifications to your plan. Failures expect their plans to work without a hitch and fall apart if the don’t. Winners expect setbacks and do not allow them to deflate their initial passion and commitment. Winners do not allow the negative comments of friends and enemies to dismantle their dreams and plans.

If you have been walking around for years with a good idea in your head, now may be a good time to activate some serious action to make it a reality. I do not claim that it will be easy or that all your dreams will become a reality, but why not give some of them your best shot? How would you feel if you read in a magazine or newspaper, that someone else made millions with a similar idea than the one you have allowed to hibernate in your mind?

René

 

 

Nothing in life that is worthwhile comes to us because we have a nice smile or a submissive attitude.

Many of us go around with a victim mentality. We allow life and people to dictate our lives. We almost always fall short of their selfish requirements. Nothing in life that is worthwhile comes to us because we have a nice smile or a submissive attitude. We need to walk tall and go for our goals and dreams in a positive and decisive manner. It is silly to think that we will be treated with respect if we allow people to sweep the floors with us. There is a time to be warm, kind and flexible, but then there are occasions that we must walk tall, become strong and do what needs to be done.

 

Rene

 

DIG DEEPER – APPLIED KNOWLEDGE SET YOU FREE!

 

You can sit in the waiting room of life forever or you can become an active player.

DO YOU HAVE A “WAIT” PROBLEM? – A WAIT PROBLEM IS REALLY A DISCONNECT BETWEEN WHAT IS TRULY POSSIBLE AND WHAT YOU WILL LET YOURSELF RECEIVE!

WHEN WILL YOU MOVE FORWARD?Do you feel that you are sitting in the “waiting room” of life, waiting for happiness, love, the green light, better times or a bridge to appear? Can it be that you are waiting for courage, permission, your turn, zero risk, the right moment or a sign or guarantee?

Sometimes waiting is a cover for fear, self-doubt, unworthiness and not taking responsibility. This habit of waiting is a common block to happiness, love and success. There is no rational reason to wait, happiness, success and love is waiting for you. They await your choice, your acceptance and a sign from you. For as long as you wait, you cannot see what is already possible if you get up and pursue you selected objectives.

When you wait for things to happen you are giving up all control. You hope and dream things will by accident fall into you lap or come your way. When you wait you disconnect between what is truly possible and what you will let yourself receive. When you wait you are like a person that put his or her life on hold. The world is waiting for you muster up enough courage to become active and do something about your objective, goals and dreams. Most of us are impatient and hates to wait for in queues or waiting rooms. Why are we then so inclined to put our lives on hold when it comes to the most important things in our lives?

 

RELATIONSHIPS:Relationships suffer because people wait for things to improve and get almost perfect before they make a commitment. What people fail to understand is that relationships are always under construction. There is always work in progress.

If you are going to wait until your “relationship” is perfect and pristine you will wait forever. Have you ever thought how your indecisiveness is possibly the major reason why you are not really making progress? You must actually get into the water before you will get wet. You can stare at the water all day long, but only when you jump in will you be able to really find out what it is really like.

While you are sitting on the fence no progress will be made either. How can you ever enjoy your relationship if you continue to sit in your protective little castle, waiting for your potential lover to break down your heavily reinforced walls? When you do this you are not really in the game; you are not a member of the club. All you are is a critical spectator. You need to dive in and get wet or accept the crumbs that life throw at you from time to time.

 

LONELY?People are lonely because they wait for love instead of being loving. They wait for friendship instead of being a friend. If you are not happy with your social life then you will have to look how “available” you are to individuals that might be interested to enjoy your company? If you are hiding in your flat or home with the curtains drawn you will continue to be lonely for the rest of your life. If you have built invisible walls around yourself you should not be too surprised when people pass you by.

If you have a nasty personality that repels people you will remain isolated and lonely. When you make it difficult for people to be with you, you will gather cobwebs in your self-imposed exile. You are a walking and talking advertisement who you are and what you stand for. You can instantly repel potential interest without even saying a word with a bad attitude or if you go around with a chip on your shoulder.

 

WORK? You have a lack of team spirit because everybody is waiting for the team spirit to get better. Nothing will change until the team member stop waiting for the team spirit to get better and do something about it. Nothing will get better or improve while the various staff member sit in their boxes and wait for others to make the first move.

 

PREMATURE AGEING?People age prematurely because they postpone their happiness. They promise that they will have fun after work, after chores, after the bills are paid, after retirement and after the grandkids are settled. Life passes you by when you are constantly in a standby or waiting mode. If you think that you will one day begin to live and enjoy life when everything is perfect or taken care of you are in for a nasty surprise.

They might one day write on your tombstone “Here lays the word’s biggest spectator, born 1952 – died 1990 and buried 2012.

 

SILLY CONFLICTS? Silly conflicts last forever because both parties wait to get what they will not give. Each party waits for the other to make the first move. Many relationships flushed down the toilet because one or both parties waited that the other would admit his or her mistake, faults, shortcomings and endless love. Waiting in relationships cause serious confusion and results in bitter conflicts. As indicated above you either dive in and get wet or quit. You cannot wait and hope that your partner will entertain and love you if you are nothing more than a spectator.

 

Willingness inspires readiness. With readiness all things are possible. Be ready and allow yourself to receive. Be ready and let yourself be guided, be helped, be inspired and be loved. You must become willing to get involved in the game of life or it will pass you by like a thief in the night. You need to get involved and become a player and not a spectator.

People are not out there to entertain you. They will not break down the door of your castle and beg you to come out and play. You might feel safe behind your walls and enjoy the infrequent attempts to lure you out of your hiding place, but will discover that the interested parties usually loose interest and go to the unguarded house.

You can sit in the waiting room of life forever or you can become an active player. Look around you and notice the other people in this waiting room. Their hair is grey and their skins look like a deflated rugby ball. Some of them have been waiting for more than eighty years for love, respect, friendship and fun to come their way. What they failed to realise all these years is that life is not a waiting game, but a game where you need to play your heart out if you want to taste the good things in life.

 

Rene

 

Nothing in life that is worthwhile comes to us because we have a nice smile or a submissive attitude.

Many of us go around with a victim mentality. We allow life and people to dictate our lives. We almost always fall short of their selfish requirements. Nothing in life that is worthwhile comes to us because we have a nice smile or a submissive attitude. We need to walk tall and go for our goals and dreams in a positive and decisive manner. It is silly to think that we will be treated with respect if we allow people to sweep the floors with us. There is a time to be warm, kind and flexible, but then there are occasions that we must walk tall, become strong and do what needs to be done.

 

Rene