Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.
William Shakespeare
7 Factors That Influence the Quality and Life-Span of Romantic Relationships and Marriage
.
.
When most adults embark upon a new romantic relationship, they do so with the best intentions in mind. Yet most romantic relationships usually fail within the first three months, others break down within the first year and some that last longer and even lead to marriage create more pain than happiness. People often wonder why. Things looked so good at first! “It was love at first sight”, “we had such great chemistry in the beginning”, “we had so much fun the night we met”, they frequently will say.
Truly, it does seem like a great mystery why some relationships succeed and thrive while other relationships fail miserably or become such a great source of strife and sorrow. Relationships are dynamic, they tend to take on a life of their own and it’s really hard to pinpoint what went right or wrong after some months or years. There are some factors, though, which play a significant role in the quality and life-span of relationships, factors that influence our relationships in often invisible and unnoticeable ways, sometimes nurturing them, sometimes undermining them. What are these factors?
Self-esteem. I cannot stress enough the importance of entering a relationship with relatively healthy self-esteem. What is healthy self-esteem? Self-esteem must not be confused with self-confidence which is based on our more external characteristics or abilities. Healthy self-esteem is the sense that we are acceptable, likable, lovable and worthy as individuals. Unhealthy self-esteem distorts our perception, narrows our choices, constricts our behavior, lowers our standards, causes us to make compromises we don’t have to make, makes us “impossible” as partners with our extreme neediness and insecurity, and invites what we are most afraid of. If you feel that you do not have healthy self-esteem and if you recognize that this has often led you to wrong choices or kept you in unhealthy relationships, then invest in yourself and consider having some therapy to address your issues whatever they may be before entering a new relationship. It’s an investment in your self and your future happinessyou will never regret.
Self-knowledge. We all have a sense of “who we are”, but it would be very helpful if we sat down and thought about “who we are” as if we had been asked by someone to give a thorough description of ourselves: our positive/negative traits, our abilities, our needs and desires, our preferences and dislikes, our values, our goals, ourdreams, our world-view. Knowing who you are automatically helps you see who you are a good match to and who is a good match for you, which leads us to our next factor:
Compatibility. It’s an obvious fact that not all people are alike. There is not only one type of a healthy personality, but many different types and many personality styles and not all are compatible between them. For example, an order-loving, cleanliness freak, a person whose life is constructed upon a lot of cultural “shoulds” and “musts” will have a very hard time getting along with a sloppy, chaotic and freedom-loving, non-conformist artist, even though the initial attraction and chemistry may be immense precisely because of these differences.
A lot of other variables may affect compatibility: social status or background, religious/cultural background, differences in educational level, values, a big age difference, past experiences, life-goals, etc. Family background also plays a very significant role: a person who comes from a broken family, for example, may not trust relationships, may not invest emotionally in relationships as much as a person coming from a family which stuck it out together to the end, may not have internalized the meaning of the institution of marriage in quite the same way as a person coming from a familywhere “marriage is forever”.
Timing.Frequently, a relationship fails because of poor timing. One partner is too involved with his/her studies, business, career for a certain period of his/her life and cannot or does not want to invest time and energy into a relationship, even though he/she may like a person very much. If that is the case, and you soon realize that this condition is not going to change for a while, instead of doing what people usually do – nagging, blaming, clinging, etc – let go and move on. That’s where good self-esteem comes in (I can find someone else) that’s where self-knowledge comes in (I know my needs, desires and preferences) and that’s where compatibility comes in (we have different needs but we are both OK).
True Attraction. Many times people go into a relationship not because they have met someone really special they want to be with, but because they feel lonely, or have been alone for some time and think that they “have” to have a relationship to seem normal and be socially accepted. I’m not suggesting that you stay alone, drowning in loneliness, frustration and isolation while waiting for the Ideal Person to come along! What I am suggesting, though, is that if you just rush into a relationship ignoring some red flags hoping they will go away, they won’t and pretty soon you will again find yourself out of a relationship!
Sexual Satisfaction. Another factor that often gets overlooked (except when it comes up in the therapist’s office) is sexual compatibility and satisfaction, and this is an area in which women especially shortchange themselves, many times out of a silly tendency to protect the male ego. Sexual satisfaction is the glue that holds a relationship together, and its lack is a deadly virus that breaks out into all sorts of ugly symptoms (chronic resentment, temper tantrums, passive-aggressive behaviors like constant nagging about irrelevant issues, infidelity, etc).
If you are at the beginning of a relationship and his/her sexual characteristics, body language, sexual/sensual expression are not as you would like them to be, do both of you a favor, end the relationship and move on. If from the start you don’t naturally and spontaneously hit it off, you never will – proof of this are all the sex manuals in circulation trying to cure the problem after the fact. There are perfect, multiple sexual matches for all of us out there and we do not have to compromise, or lie to ourselves or our partner.
Adequate healing time between relationships. Before planting the seed of a new love, we must take some time to weed our soil, purify our hearts from memories of past hurts, fears and sorrows by forgiving the past, blessing it for the wisdom it has offered us, and letting it go. Many people make the mistake of thinking that the only way to cure a broken heart is to fall in love with someone else immediately or, at any rate, find a substitute for the missing partner right away. Rebound relationships never work, because it takes some time for a jilted or abandoned partner to regain their inner balance, to mend the little holes and tears in their self-esteem and enter a new relationship with a clear and unburdened heart. Usually, the rebound relationship is still about “the ex” much more than it is about the new person we have met.
Ideally, romantic relationships are unions between two individuals’ hearts, bodies, souls, spirits and minds. I believe that knowing the factors that may affect them in various degrees helps us understand our past mistakes and prevents us from repeating them over and over again by helping us gain more clarity and insight into the complexity of relationships that often evades our perception.
Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.
William Shakespeare
7 Factors That Influence the Quality and Life-Span of Romantic Relationships and Marriage
.
When most adults embark upon a new romantic relationship, they do so with the best intentions in mind. Yet most romantic relationships usually fail within the first three months, others break down within the first year and some that last longer and even lead to marriage create more pain than happiness. People often wonder why. Things looked so good at first! “It was love at first sight”, “we had such great chemistry in the beginning”, “we had so much fun the night we met”, they frequently will say.
Truly, it does seem like a great mystery why some relationships succeed and thrive while other relationships fail miserably or become such a great source of strife and sorrow. Relationships are dynamic, they tend to take on a life of their own and it’s really hard to pinpoint what went right or wrong after some months or years. There are some factors, though, which play a significant role in the quality and life-span of relationships, factors that influence our relationships in often invisible and unnoticeable ways, sometimes nurturing them, sometimes undermining them. What are these factors?
Self-esteem. I cannot stress enough the importance of entering a relationship with relatively healthy self-esteem. What is healthy self-esteem? Self-esteem must not be confused with self-confidence which is based on our more external characteristics or abilities. Healthy self-esteem is the sense that we are acceptable, likable, lovable and worthy as individuals. Unhealthy self-esteem distorts our perception, narrows our choices, constricts our behavior, lowers our standards, causes us to make compromises we don’t have to make, makes us “impossible” as partners with our extreme neediness and insecurity, and invites what we are most afraid of. If you feel that you do not have healthy self-esteem and if you recognize that this has often led you to wrong choices or kept you in unhealthy relationships, then invest in yourself and consider having some therapy to address your issues whatever they may be before entering a new relationship. It’s an investment in your self and your future happinessyou will never regret.
Self-knowledge. We all have a sense of “who we are”, but it would be very helpful if we sat down and thought about “who we are” as if we had been asked by someone to give a thorough description of ourselves: our positive/negative traits, our abilities, our needs and desires, our preferences and dislikes, our values, our goals, ourdreams, our world-view. Knowing who you are automatically helps you see who you are a good match to and who is a good match for you, which leads us to our next factor:
Compatibility. It’s an obvious fact that not all people are alike. There is not only one type of a healthy personality, but many different types and many personality styles and not all are compatible between them. For example, an order-loving, cleanliness freak, a person whose life is constructed upon a lot of cultural “shoulds” and “musts” will have a very hard time getting along with a sloppy, chaotic and freedom-loving, non-conformist artist, even though the initial attraction and chemistry may be immense precisely because of these differences.
A lot of other variables may affect compatibility: social status or background, religious/cultural background, differences in educational level, values, a big age difference, past experiences, life-goals, etc. Family background also plays a very significant role: a person who comes from a broken family, for example, may not trust relationships, may not invest emotionally in relationships as much as a person coming from a family which stuck it out together to the end, may not have internalized the meaning of the institution of marriage in quite the same way as a person coming from a familywhere “marriage is forever”.
Timing.Frequently, a relationship fails because of poor timing. One partner is too involved with his/her studies, business, career for a certain period of his/her life and cannot or does not want to invest time and energy into a relationship, even though he/she may like a person very much. If that is the case, and you soon realize that this condition is not going to change for a while, instead of doing what people usually do – nagging, blaming, clinging, etc – let go and move on. That’s where good self-esteem comes in (I can find someone else) that’s where self-knowledge comes in (I know my needs, desires and preferences) and that’s where compatibility comes in (we have different needs but we are both OK).
True Attraction. Many times people go into a relationship not because they have met someone really special they want to be with, but because they feel lonely, or have been alone for some time and think that they “have” to have a relationship to seem normal and be socially accepted. I’m not suggesting that you stay alone, drowning in loneliness, frustration and isolation while waiting for the Ideal Person to come along! What I am suggesting, though, is that if you just rush into a relationship ignoring some red flags hoping they will go away, they won’t and pretty soon you will again find yourself out of a relationship!
Sexual Satisfaction. Another factor that often gets overlooked (except when it comes up in the therapist’s office) is sexual compatibility and satisfaction, and this is an area in which women especially shortchange themselves, many times out of a silly tendency to protect the male ego. Sexual satisfaction is the glue that holds a relationship together, and its lack is a deadly virus that breaks out into all sorts of ugly symptoms (chronic resentment, temper tantrums, passive-aggressive behaviors like constant nagging about irrelevant issues, infidelity, etc).
If you are at the beginning of a relationship and his/her sexual characteristics, body language, sexual/sensual expression are not as you would like them to be, do both of you a favor, end the relationship and move on. If from the start you don’t naturally and spontaneously hit it off, you never will – proof of this are all the sex manuals in circulation trying to cure the problem after the fact. There are perfect, multiple sexual matches for all of us out there and we do not have to compromise, or lie to ourselves or our partner.
Adequate healing time between relationships. Before planting the seed of a new love, we must take some time to weed our soil, purify our hearts from memories of past hurts, fears and sorrows by forgiving the past, blessing it for the wisdom it has offered us, and letting it go. Many people make the mistake of thinking that the only way to cure a broken heart is to fall in love with someone else immediately or, at any rate, find a substitute for the missing partner right away. Rebound relationships never work, because it takes some time for a jilted or abandoned partner to regain their inner balance, to mend the little holes and tears in their self-esteem and enter a new relationship with a clear and unburdened heart. Usually, the rebound relationship is still about “the ex” much more than it is about the new person we have met.
Ideally, romantic relationships are unions between two individuals’ hearts, bodies, souls, spirits and minds. I believe that knowing the factors that may affect them in various degrees helps us understand our past mistakes and prevents us from repeating them over and over again by helping us gain more clarity and insight into the complexity of relationships that often evades our perception.
Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.
William Shakespeare
7 Factors That Influence the Quality and Life-Span of Romantic Relationships and Marriage
When most adults embark upon a new romantic relationship, they do so with the best intentions in mind. Yet most romantic relationships usually fail within the first three months, others break down within the first year and some that last longer and even lead to marriage create more pain than happiness. People often wonder why. Things looked so good at first! “It was love at first sight”, “we had such great chemistry in the beginning”, “we had so much fun the night we met”, they frequently will say.
Truly, it does seem like a great mystery why some relationships succeed and thrive while other relationships fail miserably or become such a great source of strife and sorrow. Relationships are dynamic, they tend to take on a life of their own and it’s really hard to pinpoint what went right or wrong after some months or years. There are some factors, though, which play a significant role in the quality and life-span of relationships, factors that influence our relationships in often invisible and unnoticeable ways, sometimes nurturing them, sometimes undermining them. What are these factors?
Self-esteem. I cannot stress enough the importance of entering a relationship with relatively healthy self-esteem. What is healthy self-esteem? Self-esteem must not be confused with self-confidence which is based on our more external characteristics or abilities. Healthy self-esteem is the sense that we are acceptable, likable, lovable and worthy as individuals. Unhealthy self-esteem distorts our perception, narrows our choices, constricts our behavior, lowers our standards, causes us to make compromises we don’t have to make, makes us “impossible” as partners with our extreme neediness and insecurity, and invites what we are most afraid of. If you feel that you do not have healthy self-esteem and if you recognize that this has often led you to wrong choices or kept you in unhealthy relationships, then invest in yourself and consider having some therapy to address your issues whatever they may be before entering a new relationship. It’s an investment in your self and your future happinessyou will never regret.
Self-knowledge. We all have a sense of “who we are”, but it would be very helpful if we sat down and thought about “who we are” as if we had been asked by someone to give a thorough description of ourselves: our positive/negative traits, our abilities, our needs and desires, our preferences and dislikes, our values, our goals, ourdreams, our world-view. Knowing who you are automatically helps you see who you are a good match to and who is a good match for you, which leads us to our next factor:
Compatibility. It’s an obvious fact that not all people are alike. There is not only one type of a healthy personality, but many different types and many personality styles and not all are compatible between them. For example, an order-loving, cleanliness freak, a person whose life is constructed upon a lot of cultural “shoulds” and “musts” will have a very hard time getting along with a sloppy, chaotic and freedom-loving, non-conformist artist, even though the initial attraction and chemistry may be immense precisely because of these differences.
A lot of other variables may affect compatibility: social status or background, religious/cultural background, differences in educational level, values, a big age difference, past experiences, life-goals, etc. Family background also plays a very significant role: a person who comes from a broken family, for example, may not trust relationships, may not invest emotionally in relationships as much as a person coming from a family which stuck it out together to the end, may not have internalized the meaning of the institution of marriage in quite the same way as a person coming from a familywhere “marriage is forever”.
Timing.Frequently, a relationship fails because of poor timing. One partner is too involved with his/her studies, business, career for a certain period of his/her life and cannot or does not want to invest time and energy into a relationship, even though he/she may like a person very much. If that is the case, and you soon realize that this condition is not going to change for a while, instead of doing what people usually do – nagging, blaming, clinging, etc – let go and move on. That’s where good self-esteem comes in (I can find someone else) that’s where self-knowledge comes in (I know my needs, desires and preferences) and that’s where compatibility comes in (we have different needs but we are both OK).
True Attraction. Many times people go into a relationship not because they have met someone really special they want to be with, but because they feel lonely, or have been alone for some time and think that they “have” to have a relationship to seem normal and be socially accepted. I’m not suggesting that you stay alone, drowning in loneliness, frustration and isolation while waiting for the Ideal Person to come along! What I am suggesting, though, is that if you just rush into a relationship ignoring some red flags hoping they will go away, they won’t and pretty soon you will again find yourself out of a relationship!
Sexual Satisfaction. Another factor that often gets overlooked (except when it comes up in the therapist’s office) is sexual compatibility and satisfaction, and this is an area in which women especially shortchange themselves, many times out of a silly tendency to protect the male ego. Sexual satisfaction is the glue that holds a relationship together, and its lack is a deadly virus that breaks out into all sorts of ugly symptoms (chronic resentment, temper tantrums, passive-aggressive behaviors like constant nagging about irrelevant issues, infidelity, etc).
If you are at the beginning of a relationship and his/her sexual characteristics, body language, sexual/sensual expression are not as you would like them to be, do both of you a favor, end the relationship and move on. If from the start you don’t naturally and spontaneously hit it off, you never will – proof of this are all the sex manuals in circulation trying to cure the problem after the fact. There are perfect, multiple sexual matches for all of us out there and we do not have to compromise, or lie to ourselves or our partner.
Adequate healing time between relationships. Before planting the seed of a new love, we must take some time to weed our soil, purify our hearts from memories of past hurts, fears and sorrows by forgiving the past, blessing it for the wisdom it has offered us, and letting it go. Many people make the mistake of thinking that the only way to cure a broken heart is to fall in love with someone else immediately or, at any rate, find a substitute for the missing partner right away. Rebound relationships never work, because it takes some time for a jilted or abandoned partner to regain their inner balance, to mend the little holes and tears in their self-esteem and enter a new relationship with a clear and unburdened heart. Usually, the rebound relationship is still about “the ex” much more than it is about the new person we have met.
Ideally, romantic relationships are unions between two individuals’ hearts, bodies, souls, spirits and minds. I believe that knowing the factors that may affect them in various degrees helps us understand our past mistakes and prevents us from repeating them over and over again by helping us gain more clarity and insight into the complexity of relationships that often evades our perception.
Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.
William Shakespeare
7 Factors That Influence the Quality and Life-Span of Romantic Relationships and Marriage
When most adults embark upon a new romantic relationship, they do so with the best intentions in mind. Yet most romantic relationships usually fail within the first three months, others break down within the first year and some that last longer and even lead to marriage create more pain than happiness. People often wonder why. Things looked so good at first! “It was love at first sight”, “we had such great chemistry in the beginning”, “we had so much fun the night we met”, they frequently will say.
Truly, it does seem like a great mystery why some relationships succeed and thrive while other relationships fail miserably or become such a great source of strife and sorrow. Relationships are dynamic, they tend to take on a life of their own and it’s really hard to pinpoint what went right or wrong after some months or years. There are some factors, though, which play a significant role in the quality and life-span of relationships, factors that influence our relationships in often invisible and unnoticeable ways, sometimes nurturing them, sometimes undermining them. What are these factors?
Self-esteem. I cannot stress enough the importance of entering a relationship with relatively healthy self-esteem. What is healthy self-esteem? Self-esteem must not be confused with self-confidence which is based on our more external characteristics or abilities. Healthy self-esteem is the sense that we are acceptable, likable, lovable and worthy as individuals. Unhealthy self-esteem distorts our perception, narrows our choices, constricts our behavior, lowers our standards, causes us to make compromises we don’t have to make, makes us “impossible” as partners with our extreme neediness and insecurity, and invites what we are most afraid of. If you feel that you do not have healthy self-esteem and if you recognize that this has often led you to wrong choices or kept you in unhealthy relationships, then invest in yourself and consider having some therapy to address your issues whatever they may be before entering a new relationship. It’s an investment in your self and your future happinessyou will never regret.
Self-knowledge. We all have a sense of “who we are”, but it would be very helpful if we sat down and thought about “who we are” as if we had been asked by someone to give a thorough description of ourselves: our positive/negative traits, our abilities, our needs and desires, our preferences and dislikes, our values, our goals, ourdreams, our world-view. Knowing who you are automatically helps you see who you are a good match to and who is a good match for you, which leads us to our next factor:
Compatibility. It’s an obvious fact that not all people are alike. There is not only one type of a healthy personality, but many different types and many personality styles and not all are compatible between them. For example, an order-loving, cleanliness freak, a person whose life is constructed upon a lot of cultural “shoulds” and “musts” will have a very hard time getting along with a sloppy, chaotic and freedom-loving, non-conformist artist, even though the initial attraction and chemistry may be immense precisely because of these differences.
A lot of other variables may affect compatibility: social status or background, religious/cultural background, differences in educational level, values, a big age difference, past experiences, life-goals, etc. Family background also plays a very significant role: a person who comes from a broken family, for example, may not trust relationships, may not invest emotionally in relationships as much as a person coming from a family which stuck it out together to the end, may not have internalized the meaning of the institution of marriage in quite the same way as a person coming from a familywhere “marriage is forever”.
Timing.Frequently, a relationship fails because of poor timing. One partner is too involved with his/her studies, business, career for a certain period of his/her life and cannot or does not want to invest time and energy into a relationship, even though he/she may like a person very much. If that is the case, and you soon realize that this condition is not going to change for a while, instead of doing what people usually do – nagging, blaming, clinging, etc – let go and move on. That’s where good self-esteem comes in (I can find someone else) that’s where self-knowledge comes in (I know my needs, desires and preferences) and that’s where compatibility comes in (we have different needs but we are both OK).
True Attraction. Many times people go into a relationship not because they have met someone really special they want to be with, but because they feel lonely, or have been alone for some time and think that they “have” to have a relationship to seem normal and be socially accepted. I’m not suggesting that you stay alone, drowning in loneliness, frustration and isolation while waiting for the Ideal Person to come along! What I am suggesting, though, is that if you just rush into a relationship ignoring some red flags hoping they will go away, they won’t and pretty soon you will again find yourself out of a relationship!
Sexual Satisfaction. Another factor that often gets overlooked (except when it comes up in the therapist’s office) is sexual compatibility and satisfaction, and this is an area in which women especially shortchange themselves, many times out of a silly tendency to protect the male ego. Sexual satisfaction is the glue that holds a relationship together, and its lack is a deadly virus that breaks out into all sorts of ugly symptoms (chronic resentment, temper tantrums, passive-aggressive behaviors like constant nagging about irrelevant issues, infidelity, etc).
If you are at the beginning of a relationship and his/her sexual characteristics, body language, sexual/sensual expression are not as you would like them to be, do both of you a favor, end the relationship and move on. If from the start you don’t naturally and spontaneously hit it off, you never will – proof of this are all the sex manuals in circulation trying to cure the problem after the fact. There are perfect, multiple sexual matches for all of us out there and we do not have to compromise, or lie to ourselves or our partner.
Adequate healing time between relationships. Before planting the seed of a new love, we must take some time to weed our soil, purify our hearts from memories of past hurts, fears and sorrows by forgiving the past, blessing it for the wisdom it has offered us, and letting it go. Many people make the mistake of thinking that the only way to cure a broken heart is to fall in love with someone else immediately or, at any rate, find a substitute for the missing partner right away. Rebound relationships never work, because it takes some time for a jilted or abandoned partner to regain their inner balance, to mend the little holes and tears in their self-esteem and enter a new relationship with a clear and unburdened heart. Usually, the rebound relationship is still about “the ex” much more than it is about the new person we have met.
Ideally, romantic relationships are unions between two individuals’ hearts, bodies, souls, spirits and minds. I believe that knowing the factors that may affect them in various degrees helps us understand our past mistakes and prevents us from repeating them over and over again by helping us gain more clarity and insight into the complexity of relationships that often evades our perception.
Everyday you make a thousand choices. You choose what to wear, where to go, who to meet, what to eat and what to do. MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, YOU decide WHAT TO THINK. One thing is sure and that is that your day will not be better than your thoughts. ...................
Just close your eyes for a moment and see if you can visualise this open toolbox and if you can see the hundreds of tools that are neatly placed in this toolbox. Now look if you can see the maker’s name on these tools. The creator of these tools (thoughts and perceptions) is you. You created thousands of thoughts and perceptions (tools) about everything since your childhood. ..................
When confronted with any situation or problem you reach into this toolbox and take out what you think the most appropriate tool would be and then attempt to fix the problem. It is estimated that your mind thinks at least 2,500 thoughts an hour. Every thought that you think is a tool (perception) that you have that you imagine would work best under specific circumstances. This thought process continues day and night and will do so for the rest of your life. .....................................
I am convinced that we think ourselves to a standstill. We never stop playing with these tools in our toolbox and can hardly ever really relax for a while. If we are not faced with a problem or task that needs completion we still continue to take out these tools and mentally rehears and contemplate how we will use them should something that we fear become a reality. ............................
We are forever thinking and scheming and never become still and tranquil inside. Our bodies might seem relaxed, but deep inside our heads this thought process continues churning around. What I am most worried about is that most of the tools that you have in your toolbox are very old and outdated. .......................
Many of the opportunities, problems and obstructions that you face daily cannot be repaired while you are using old and outdated tools. If you take a modern mechanic’s toolbox and you place the toolbox of a mechanic of fifty years ago next to it you will find that there are major discrepancies. When you are confronted with something that needs repair and you do not have the right tool for the task at hand it can be very frustrating. We usually improvise and try using some other tools and hope that it will also get the job done. ........................
When you are faced with a problem you need to select the right tool for the task at hand. If you do not have the tool in your toolbox it can complicate your life. What most people seem to ignore is that it is sometimes better not to reach for your toolbox when faced with a problem. Sometimes you need time to pass or need to leave the problem with its rightful owner. How well you use your tools is usually reflected in the world you see around you. What would you do if you were faced with any or all of the following? .........................
You get a flat tire on your way to an important customer or meeting. You can fall apart, develop a migraine and think that life is against you or you can take out the right tools (patience and reality) and take care of the problem in a relaxed manner. ........................
You have been working on the computer for hours and suddenly lose all your work. You can drop dead with a heart attack; think that God hates you or you can take out the right tool (sanity and reality) and begin over and this time remember to make a backup of your work. ....................
A lover or wife possibly cheated on you. You can go crazy and get an assassin to take out the potential threat to your relationship, think that you are a failure or you can take out the right tool (no fear of loss) and get on with your life. .......................
When you have the right tools in your toolbox it makes life a lot easier. The choices we make are vital in our lives. The more quality choices we make during any given day the higher the probability of success and peace of mind. ................
I suggest that you equip your toolbox with the best tools you can lay your hands on. It is important to upgrade if you discover that one of your tools are outdated or that a more modern version is available. How would you react if your TV packed up and a technician that obviously knows very little about electronics arrived at your house with only a sledgehammer and a few other primitive tools in his toolbox? I am sure that you will send him away and find someone better qualified and equipped for the task. .....................
You might sometimes be like this incompetent and poorly equipped technician indicated above if you do not often update your tools (thoughts) in your toolbox. You can also have all the right tools in your toolbox and never use them because you are afraid that you might make a mistake. ..................
You must remember that happiness and success is always just one thought (tool) away. You should remember when you find it difficult to cope with something that one new tool (thought) could change your life. One fresh thought and one new idea can change your life from pain and suffering to success and peace of mind. ........................
You are today what you were programmed with yesterday. The choices that you make on a moment-to-moment basis decide your fate and future. You can never feel or perform better than the ongoing thoughts and feelings that you allow to occupy your mind! .......................
The mistake we make is that most of us live our lives on a reactive basis. We start and complete our day in a reactive state of being. Something comes to our attention via our five senses or via a thought in our mind. We automatically slip into the “role” that we created for ourselves many moons ago. We act, react and experience the same feelings and emotions that we embedded with our scrip at its inception. We do exactly the same when new stimuli push the previous “drama” off the stage in our minds. We sustain this reactive mode of thinking until we finally go to bed at night. Most of our days are made up of a tapestry of “roles” that we played in our own colorful way. It is important to understand that nothing is going to change until we do something different. We cannot repeat the same old recipes and expect a different outcome. ....................
You can use the “Portable Life Skills Wisdom” book to develop a range of appropriate scripts that you can use when you are faced with a problem or project that need your attention. You will if you apply the scripts in this book find that you no longer run your life on a reactive basis. The new scripts will help you to live your life in the moment. You will become more realistic. You will treat each event on its own merit. How do you do this? ......................
The Process ....................
Read the first message in your book. Write it down if at all possible. It will assist you to absorb the data provided. Now sit back and close your eyes and visualize how you will apply the specific message in the various areas of your life. See yourself on the screen of your mind using the message in all your day-to-day activities. It is important to attempt to feel and experience the benefits that this new mode of thinking will bring into your life. Do this for ten minutes. Then open your eyes and begin to apply the wisdom on all occasions where appropriate in your activities on that given day. ...........................
Proceed to do the same with second message etc. in your book tomorrow. You will upload almost a thousand powerful recipes if you sustain the process indicated above. You can in less than three years upload a powerful “tool” system that will serve you for the rest of your life. This can be a life changing experience if you apply it daily. You will discover that the ten minutes you invest daily will upload countless new strategies into your subconscious computer. Build a successful and happy life. The key however is action. You can have the best tools available to man and still fail if you don’t use them daily. Wishing you the very best with this endeavor. .............................
Daily Support System (This Blog) ................
You not only have the massive key ideas in the book that you can use when appropriate you also receive daily posts on a wide range of subjects that will expand this system to a level never offered before. Visit this blog daily for fresh new ideas with a sprinkle of historical wisdom that stood the test of time. ..........................
Rene