YOUR MIND IS FULL OF THOUGHTS OF LOVE, JUDGEMENT, PEACE, FEAR, GRACE, GUILT, JOY, ANGER, FORGIVENESS, ATTACK, LAUGHTER, WORK, PLAY, JUDGMENT, KINDNESS, ISOLATION AND ONENESS ETC!
.
YOUR HEAD IS LIKE A TOOLBOX: Everyday you make a thousand choices. You choose what to wear, where to go, who to meet, what to eat and what to do. MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, YOU decide WHAT TO THINK. One thing is sure and that is that your day will not be better than you thoughts.
Just close your eyes for a moment and see if you can visualise this open toolbox and if you can see the hundreds of tools that are neatly placed in this toolbox. Now look if you can see the maker’s name on these tools. The creator of these tools (thoughts and perceptions) is you. You created thousands of thoughts and perceptions (tools) about everything since your childhood.
When confronted with any situation or problem you reach into this toolbox and take out what you think the most appropriate tool and attempt to fix the problem. It is estimated that your mind thinks at least 2,500 thoughts an hour. Every thought that you think is a tool (perception) that you have that you imagine would work best under specific circumstances. This thought process continue day and night and will do so for the rest of your life.
I am convinced that we think ourselves to a standstill. We never stop playing with these tools in our toolbox and can hardly ever really relax for a while. If we are not faced with a problem or task that needs completion we still continue to take out these tools and mentally rehears and contemplate how we will use them should something that we fear become a reality.
We are forever thinking and scheming and never become still and tranquil inside. Our bodies might seem relaxed, but deep inside our heads this thought process continues churning around. What I am most worried about is that most of the tools that you have in our toolboxes is very old and outdated.
Many of the modern problems that you face cannot be repaired using these tools. If you take a modern mechanic’s toolbox and you place the toolbox of a mechanic of fifty years ago next to it you will find that there are major discrepancies. When you are confronted with something that needs repair and you do not have the right tool for the task at hand it can be very frustrating. We usually improvise and try using some other tool and hope that it will also get the job done.
When you are faced with a problem you need to select the right tool for the task at hand. If you do not have the tool in your toolbox it can complicate your life. What most people seem to ignore is that it is sometimes better not to reach for your toolbox when faced with a problem. Sometimes you need time to pass or need to leave the problem with its rightful owner. How well you use your tools is usually reflected in the world you see around you. What would you do if you were faced with any or all of the following?
You get a flat tire on your way to an important customer or meeting. You can fall apart, develop a migraine and think that life is against you or you can take out the right tools (patience and reality) and take care of the problem in a relaxed manner.
You have been working on the computer for hours and suddenly lose all your work. You can drop dead with a heart attack, think that God hates you or you can take out the right tool (sanity and reality) and begin over again and remember this time to make a backup your work.
A lover or wife possibly cheated on you. You can go crazy and get an assassin to take her potential lover out, think that you are a failure or you can take out the right tool (no fear of loss) and get on with your life.
When you have the right tools in your toolbox it makes life a lot easier. The choices we make are vital in our lives. The more quality choices we make during any given day the higher the probability of success and peace of mind.
I suggest that you equip your toolbox with the best tools you can lay your hands on. If you discover that one of your tools are outdated or that a more modern version is available. How would you react if your TV packed up and a technician that obviously knows very little about electronics arrived at your house with only a sledgehammer and a few other primitive tools in his toolbox? I am sure that you will send him away and find someone better qualified and equipped for the task.
You might sometimes be like this incompetent and poorly equipped technician indicated above if you do not often update your tools (thoughts) in your toolbox. You can also have all the right tools in your toolbox and never use them because you are afraid that you might make a mistake.
You must remember that happiness and success is always just one thought (tool) away. You should remember when you find it difficult to cope with something that one new tool (thought) could change your life. One fresh thought and one new idea can change your life from pain and suffering to success and peace of mind.
You are what you think. Your choices that you make on a moment-to-moment basis decide your fate and future. You are really what you think. You can never feel or perform better than the ongoing thoughts that you allow to occupy your mind!
YOUR MIND IS FULL OF THOUGHTS OF LOVE, JUDGEMENT, PEACE, FEAR, GRACE, GUILT, JOY, ANGER, FORGIVENESS, ATTACK, LAUGHTER, WORK, PLAY, JUDGMENT, KINDNESS, ISOLATION AND ONENESS ETC!
.
YOUR HEAD IS LIKE A TOOLBOX: Everyday you make a thousand choices. You choose what to wear, where to go, who to meet, what to eat and what to do. MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, YOU decide WHAT TO THINK. One thing is sure and that is that your day will not be better than you thoughts.
Just close your eyes for a moment and see if you can visualise this open toolbox and if you can see the hundreds of tools that are neatly placed in this toolbox. Now look if you can see the maker’s name on these tools. The creator of these tools (thoughts and perceptions) is you. You created thousands of thoughts and perceptions (tools) about everything since your childhood.
When confronted with any situation or problem you reach into this toolbox and take out what you think the most appropriate tool and attempt to fix the problem. It is estimated that your mind thinks at least 2,500 thoughts an hour. Every thought that you think is a tool (perception) that you have that you imagine would work best under specific circumstances. This thought process continue day and night and will do so for the rest of your life.
I am convinced that we think ourselves to a standstill. We never stop playing with these tools in our toolbox and can hardly ever really relax for a while. If we are not faced with a problem or task that needs completion we still continue to take out these tools and mentally rehears and contemplate how we will use them should something that we fear become a reality.
We are forever thinking and scheming and never become still and tranquil inside. Our bodies might seem relaxed, but deep inside our heads this thought process continues churning around. What I am most worried about is that most of the tools that you have in our toolboxes is very old and outdated.
Many of the modern problems that you face cannot be repaired using these tools. If you take a modern mechanic’s toolbox and you place the toolbox of a mechanic of fifty years ago next to it you will find that there are major discrepancies. When you are confronted with something that needs repair and you do not have the right tool for the task at hand it can be very frustrating. We usually improvise and try using some other tool and hope that it will also get the job done.
When you are faced with a problem you need to select the right tool for the task at hand. If you do not have the tool in your toolbox it can complicate your life. What most people seem to ignore is that it is sometimes better not to reach for your toolbox when faced with a problem. Sometimes you need time to pass or need to leave the problem with its rightful owner. How well you use your tools is usually reflected in the world you see around you. What would you do if you were faced with any or all of the following?
You get a flat tire on your way to an important customer or meeting. You can fall apart, develop a migraine and think that life is against you or you can take out the right tools (patience and reality) and take care of the problem in a relaxed manner.
You have been working on the computer for hours and suddenly lose all your work. You can drop dead with a heart attack, think that God hates you or you can take out the right tool (sanity and reality) and begin over again and remember this time to make a backup your work.
A lover or wife possibly cheated on you. You can go crazy and get an assassin to take her potential lover out, think that you are a failure or you can take out the right tool (no fear of loss) and get on with your life.
When you have the right tools in your toolbox it makes life a lot easier. The choices we make are vital in our lives. The more quality choices we make during any given day the higher the probability of success and peace of mind.
I suggest that you equip your toolbox with the best tools you can lay your hands on. If you discover that one of your tools are outdated or that a more modern version is available. How would you react if your TV packed up and a technician that obviously knows very little about electronics arrived at your house with only a sledgehammer and a few other primitive tools in his toolbox? I am sure that you will send him away and find someone better qualified and equipped for the task.
You might sometimes be like this incompetent and poorly equipped technician indicated above if you do not often update your tools (thoughts) in your toolbox. You can also have all the right tools in your toolbox and never use them because you are afraid that you might make a mistake.
You must remember that happiness and success is always just one thought (tool) away. You should remember when you find it difficult to cope with something that one new tool (thought) could change your life. One fresh thought and one new idea can change your life from pain and suffering to success and peace of mind.
You are what you think. Your choices that you make on a moment-to-moment basis decide your fate and future. You are really what you think. You can never feel or perform better than the ongoing thoughts that you allow to occupy your mind!
YOUR MIND IS FULL OF THOUGHTS OF LOVE, JUDGEMENT, PEACE, FEAR, GRACE, GUILT, JOY, ANGER, FORGIVENESS, ATTACK, LAUGHTER, WORK, PLAY, JUDGMENT, KINDNESS, ISOLATION AND ONENESS ETC!
.
YOUR HEAD IS LIKE A TOOLBOX: Everyday you make a thousand choices. You choose what to wear, where to go, who to meet, what to eat and what to do. MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, YOU decide WHAT TO THINK. One thing is sure and that is that your day will not be better than you thoughts.
Just close your eyes for a moment and see if you can visualise this open toolbox and if you can see the hundreds of tools that are neatly placed in this toolbox. Now look if you can see the maker’s name on these tools. The creator of these tools (thoughts and perceptions) is you. You created thousands of thoughts and perceptions (tools) about everything since your childhood.
When confronted with any situation or problem you reach into this toolbox and take out what you think the most appropriate tool and attempt to fix the problem. It is estimated that your mind thinks at least 2,500 thoughts an hour. Every thought that you think is a tool (perception) that you have that you imagine would work best under specific circumstances. This thought process continue day and night and will do so for the rest of your life.
I am convinced that we think ourselves to a standstill. We never stop playing with these tools in our toolbox and can hardly ever really relax for a while. If we are not faced with a problem or task that needs completion we still continue to take out these tools and mentally rehears and contemplate how we will use them should something that we fear become a reality.
We are forever thinking and scheming and never become still and tranquil inside. Our bodies might seem relaxed, but deep inside our heads this thought process continues churning around. What I am most worried about is that most of the tools that you have in our toolboxes is very old and outdated.
Many of the modern problems that you face cannot be repaired using these tools. If you take a modern mechanic’s toolbox and you place the toolbox of a mechanic of fifty years ago next to it you will find that there are major discrepancies. When you are confronted with something that needs repair and you do not have the right tool for the task at hand it can be very frustrating. We usually improvise and try using some other tool and hope that it will also get the job done.
When you are faced with a problem you need to select the right tool for the task at hand. If you do not have the tool in your toolbox it can complicate your life. What most people seem to ignore is that it is sometimes better not to reach for your toolbox when faced with a problem. Sometimes you need time to pass or need to leave the problem with its rightful owner. How well you use your tools is usually reflected in the world you see around you. What would you do if you were faced with any or all of the following?
You get a flat tire on your way to an important customer or meeting. You can fall apart, develop a migraine and think that life is against you or you can take out the right tools (patience and reality) and take care of the problem in a relaxed manner.
You have been working on the computer for hours and suddenly lose all your work. You can drop dead with a heart attack, think that God hates you or you can take out the right tool (sanity and reality) and begin over again and remember this time to make a backup your work.
A lover or wife possibly cheated on you. You can go crazy and get an assassin to take her potential lover out, think that you are a failure or you can take out the right tool (no fear of loss) and get on with your life.
When you have the right tools in your toolbox it makes life a lot easier. The choices we make are vital in our lives. The more quality choices we make during any given day the higher the probability of success and peace of mind.
I suggest that you equip your toolbox with the best tools you can lay your hands on. If you discover that one of your tools are outdated or that a more modern version is available. How would you react if your TV packed up and a technician that obviously knows very little about electronics arrived at your house with only a sledgehammer and a few other primitive tools in his toolbox? I am sure that you will send him away and find someone better qualified and equipped for the task.
You might sometimes be like this incompetent and poorly equipped technician indicated above if you do not often update your tools (thoughts) in your toolbox. You can also have all the right tools in your toolbox and never use them because you are afraid that you might make a mistake.
You must remember that happiness and success is always just one thought (tool) away. You should remember when you find it difficult to cope with something that one new tool (thought) could change your life. One fresh thought and one new idea can change your life from pain and suffering to success and peace of mind.
You are what you think. Your choices that you make on a moment-to-moment basis decide your fate and future. You are really what you think. You can never feel or perform better than the ongoing thoughts that you allow to occupy your mind!
Most of us sooner or later discover that we have two forces that course through our veins. We automatically vacillate between the “upper” and “lower” limits of this force on a moment to moment basis. The UPPER end of the pole of this system is called the “ACTION” zone and the “LOWEST” end of this pole is characterized as the “NON-ACTION” zone. The feelings generated by thoughts, events or for that matter everything and everyone we encounter decides the quality of the output we intend using to deal with the matter at hand. The mistake we make is that many of us think that we are at the mercy of this so-called automatic reaction patterns that endlessly flood our minds and hearts daily. We jump with joy and run like the wind when good feelings are generated by the thought or event that we are confronted with (ACTION) or shut down and retreat into a dark place in our minds (NON-ACTION). What many of us never knew or understood is that there is no need to remain a victim of our historical conditioning or past mistakes. All that is real and valid is our current moment. We can if we decide to take control act in an appropriate and powerful manner notwithstanding the threat and feelings of doubt that we might be confronted with. You are part of a universal force that caters for evolution on a moment to moment basis. Call this force God my friend if it will make you feel more comfortable. This force is fair and allows every living thing in the universe to evolve, grow and expand notwithstanding his or her history. You can make a fresh start on a moment to moment basis. You are allocated 86400 new moments in any given day where you can make a fresh start. There is no need to fear failure or hide in the “NON-ACTION” zone. The NON-ACTION zone is a place where you become stagnant and RESIST risking the possibility of getting hurt or disappointed. The choices you make decide the quality of the outcomes you experience daily. Very few of us understand that not making a choice is actually also a choice that you make. You choose NON-ACTION and RESISTANCE and give up control.
Spend some time today to probe why you have this reluctance to take action. What is the cause of the resistance deep inside you that is preventing you from being the best you that you can ever be? Now make a list of all the things you will do if you knew that you cannot fail. Make a list of everything that comes to mind. Think it and then ink it. I will continue this series tomorrow.
Remember you are always responsible for your current mood, actions or reactions. It is wrong to point a finger at people, God or any other source for your current mood or “Feel sorry for me I am a victim attitude”. You are the one that select your moods. It is wrong to perceive that the world or people create the “MOOD CLIMATE IN YOUR HEAD”. You are the one that will ultimately decide how you are going to ACT or REACT on people and events that you are faced with.
If you ask me what is the biggest discovery that I made during my endless years of research on the reason why we fail I would boldly state the following:
It is a myth that we are the victims of our history. This myth tends to put us in a perpetual hypnotised, victim state. We walk, talk, act and react according to the filters that we look through while playing the game of life. Most of us are on auto-pilot and automatically act and react in the manner dictated to us according to our mindset on the matter at hand. We cringe and we cry or dance in elation according to the historical scripts that we adopted since early childhood. The world became our stage. We endlessly repeat our little dramas and hardly ever think that there might be better alternatives if we STOP for a moment and look at the CURRENT moment in an OBJECTIVE and COMPOSED manner.
Our history cannot impact on our CURRENT moment without our permission. Our history and perceptions on everything and everyone is nothing more than lifeless data files stored in our sub-conscious minds. They cannot spring to life without our activation. They cannot make us sad or depressed until we send the signal via our thoughts that trigger them to life. The amazing thing for many of us must be the ability of these historical pictures, when activated to force us to once more look at the blood, wounds and feelings of disaster that we experienced during the birth of these experiences. It is impossible to remain composed, in control or positive while we allow these strings of historical data to contaminate our CURRENT moments.
Did you know that time is an illusion. The only time that is REAL is this very MOMENT. Nothing that happened HISTORICALLY or that might happen in the FUTURE can contaminate your current moment without your permission. No horror movies can play on the screen of your mind until you upload a single or series of historical data packages from your sub-conscious minds. You cannot manage your life or a specific moment on MERIT while you remain in AUTO-PLAY. How can you be brave when you constantly allow your historical horror movies to scare the living shit out of you? It is a simple as that. You can never escape your current circumstances (financial, relationship etc.) while you continuously work with old and often outdated blueprints.
This nasty habit is causing billions to stagger out of bed each day and repeat the same old cycles and rituals like slaves. They dance the same old monotonous dance and hope that something or someone will bring some joy or luck into their grey and uninteresting lives. They yearn for love, friendship, joy, prosperity or success, but fail to understand that it is impossible to manifest anything that falls outside of our current or habitual mindsets.
You have something called will-power. You can take your power back today. You make hundred of choices every hour. You can decide that you are going to get off your chair or bed right now and confront each moment in an objective and positive manner. You can decide that acting like a puppet or a slave is no longer fun. You can kick adversity in the balls and challenge those that cause you discomfort to “bring it on”. Can you see that you can become objective, strong, loving and fun to be with if you stop the tendency to allow your history to dictate each and every moment in your life? You can become productive and efficient right now if you PAUSE for a moment before you act or react. The key is the choices you make. What you do, think or fail to do will manifest tomorrow, next week and next year.
Draw a line in the sand today, right now and take your power back. Be brave and make decisions even if the outcomes might not be what you anticipated. You can always make new decisions and make adjustments to your new flight plan. Decide today that you are going to LIVE until you DIE. It is easy when you understand that all you need to do is to manage your CURRENT MOMENT.
YOUR MIND IS FULL OF THOUGHTS OF LOVE, JUDGEMENT, PEACE, FEAR, GRACE, GUILT, JOY, ANGER, FORGIVENESS, ATTACK, LAUGHTER, WORK, PLAY, JUDGMENT, KINDNESS, ISOLATION AND ONENESS ETC!
.
YOUR HEAD IS LIKE A TOOLBOX: Everyday you make a thousand choices. You choose what to wear, where to go, who to meet, what to eat and what to do. MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, YOU decide WHAT TO THINK. One thing is sure and that is that your day will not be better than you thoughts.
Just close your eyes for a moment and see if you can visualise this open toolbox and if you can see the hundreds of tools that are neatly placed in this toolbox. Now look if you can see the maker’s name on these tools. The creator of these tools (thoughts and perceptions) is you. You created thousands of thoughts and perceptions (tools) about everything since your childhood.
When confronted with any situation or problem you reach into this toolbox and take out what you think the most appropriate tool and attempt to fix the problem. It is estimated that your mind thinks at least 2,500 thoughts an hour. Every thought that you think is a tool (perception) that you have that you imagine would work best under specific circumstances. This thought process continue day and night and will do so for the rest of your life.
I am convinced that we think ourselves to a standstill. We never stop playing with these tools in our toolbox and can hardly ever really relax for a while. If we are not faced with a problem or task that needs completion we still continue to take out these tools and mentally rehears and contemplate how we will use them should something that we fear become a reality.
We are forever thinking and scheming and never become still and tranquil inside. Our bodies might seem relaxed, but deep inside our heads this thought process continues churning around. What I am most worried about is that most of the tools that you have in our toolboxes is very old and outdated.
Many of the modern problems that you face cannot be repaired using these tools. If you take a modern mechanic’s toolbox and you place the toolbox of a mechanic of fifty years ago next to it you will find that there are major discrepancies. When you are confronted with something that needs repair and you do not have the right tool for the task at hand it can be very frustrating. We usually improvise and try using some other tool and hope that it will also get the job done.
When you are faced with a problem you need to select the right tool for the task at hand. If you do not have the tool in your toolbox it can complicate your life. What most people seem to ignore is that it is sometimes better not to reach for your toolbox when faced with a problem. Sometimes you need time to pass or need to leave the problem with its rightful owner. How well you use your tools is usually reflected in the world you see around you. What would you do if you were faced with any or all of the following?
You get a flat tire on your way to an important customer or meeting. You can fall apart, develop a migraine and think that life is against you or you can take out the right tools (patience and reality) and take care of the problem in a relaxed manner.
You have been working on the computer for hours and suddenly lose all your work. You can drop dead with a heart attack, think that God hates you or you can take out the right tool (sanity and reality) and begin over again and remember this time to make a backup your work.
A lover or wife possibly cheated on you. You can go crazy and get an assassin to take her potential lover out, think that you are a failure or you can take out the right tool (no fear of loss) and get on with your life.
When you have the right tools in your toolbox it makes life a lot easier. The choices we make are vital in our lives. The more quality choices we make during any given day the higher the probability of success and peace of mind.
I suggest that you equip your toolbox with the best tools you can lay your hands on. If you discover that one of your tools are outdated or that a more modern version is available. How would you react if your TV packed up and a technician that obviously knows very little about electronics arrived at your house with only a sledgehammer and a few other primitive tools in his toolbox? I am sure that you will send him away and find someone better qualified and equipped for the task.
You might sometimes be like this incompetent and poorly equipped technician indicated above if you do not often update your tools (thoughts) in your toolbox. You can also have all the right tools in your toolbox and never use them because you are afraid that you might make a mistake.
You must remember that happiness and success is always just one thought (tool) away. You should remember when you find it difficult to cope with something that one new tool (thought) could change your life. One fresh thought and one new idea can change your life from pain and suffering to success and peace of mind.
You are what you think. Your choices that you make on a moment-to-moment basis decide your fate and future. You are really what you think. You can never feel or perform better than the ongoing thoughts that you allow to occupy your mind!
YOUR MIND IS FULL OF THOUGHTS OF LOVE, JUDGEMENT, PEACE, FEAR, GRACE, GUILT, JOY, ANGER, FORGIVENESS, ATTACK, LAUGHTER, WORK, PLAY, JUDGMENT, KINDNESS, ISOLATION AND ONENESS ETC!
.
YOUR HEAD IS LIKE A TOOLBOX: Everyday you make a thousand choices. You choose what to wear, where to go, who to meet, what to eat and what to do. MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, YOU decide WHAT TO THINK. One thing is sure and that is that your day will not be better than you thoughts.
Just close your eyes for a moment and see if you can visualise this open toolbox and if you can see the hundreds of tools that are neatly placed in this toolbox. Now look if you can see the maker’s name on these tools. The creator of these tools (thoughts and perceptions) is you. You created thousands of thoughts and perceptions (tools) about everything since your childhood.
When confronted with any situation or problem you reach into this toolbox and take out what you think the most appropriate tool and attempt to fix the problem. It is estimated that your mind thinks at least 2,500 thoughts an hour. Every thought that you think is a tool (perception) that you have that you imagine would work best under specific circumstances. This thought process continue day and night and will do so for the rest of your life.
I am convinced that we think ourselves to a standstill. We never stop playing with these tools in our toolbox and can hardly ever really relax for a while. If we are not faced with a problem or task that needs completion we still continue to take out these tools and mentally rehears and contemplate how we will use them should something that we fear become a reality.
We are forever thinking and scheming and never become still and tranquil inside. Our bodies might seem relaxed, but deep inside our heads this thought process continues churning around. What I am most worried about is that most of the tools that you have in our toolboxes is very old and outdated.
Many of the modern problems that you face cannot be repaired using these tools. If you take a modern mechanic’s toolbox and you place the toolbox of a mechanic of fifty years ago next to it you will find that there are major discrepancies. When you are confronted with something that needs repair and you do not have the right tool for the task at hand it can be very frustrating. We usually improvise and try using some other tool and hope that it will also get the job done.
When you are faced with a problem you need to select the right tool for the task at hand. If you do not have the tool in your toolbox it can complicate your life. What most people seem to ignore is that it is sometimes better not to reach for your toolbox when faced with a problem. Sometimes you need time to pass or need to leave the problem with its rightful owner. How well you use your tools is usually reflected in the world you see around you. What would you do if you were faced with any or all of the following?
You get a flat tire on your way to an important customer or meeting. You can fall apart, develop a migraine and think that life is against you or you can take out the right tools (patience and reality) and take care of the problem in a relaxed manner.
You have been working on the computer for hours and suddenly lose all your work. You can drop dead with a heart attack, think that God hates you or you can take out the right tool (sanity and reality) and begin over again and remember this time to make a backup your work.
A lover or wife possibly cheated on you. You can go crazy and get an assassin to take her potential lover out, think that you are a failure or you can take out the right tool (no fear of loss) and get on with your life.
When you have the right tools in your toolbox it makes life a lot easier. The choices we make are vital in our lives. The more quality choices we make during any given day the higher the probability of success and peace of mind.
I suggest that you equip your toolbox with the best tools you can lay your hands on. If you discover that one of your tools are outdated or that a more modern version is available. How would you react if your TV packed up and a technician that obviously knows very little about electronics arrived at your house with only a sledgehammer and a few other primitive tools in his toolbox? I am sure that you will send him away and find someone better qualified and equipped for the task.
You might sometimes be like this incompetent and poorly equipped technician indicated above if you do not often update your tools (thoughts) in your toolbox. You can also have all the right tools in your toolbox and never use them because you are afraid that you might make a mistake.
You must remember that happiness and success is always just one thought (tool) away. You should remember when you find it difficult to cope with something that one new tool (thought) could change your life. One fresh thought and one new idea can change your life from pain and suffering to success and peace of mind.
You are what you think. Your choices that you make on a moment-to-moment basis decide your fate and future. You are really what you think. You can never feel or perform better than the ongoing thoughts that you allow to occupy your mind!
It is very important that you realise that you play a strong role in your own future. You decide who you are, what you want, what you can and cannot do and what you deserve. The choices that you make individually and collectively in conjunction with the other players in your life decide your future. It does not only decide your future pleasure, joy and happiness but it also plays a vital role in the moment-to-moment way you experience life
The feeling of personal power is key in all interpersonal relationships. Many people are not very clear about what assertiveness is and how it differs from aggressiveness. One main difference is that aggressiveness is about power over other people, while assertiveness is about being able to assert our rights and stand up for our thoughts and feelings while respecting the rights, thoughts and feelings of others.
Passive people habitually submit to other people’s dominance play, do not have clear boundaries, and are constantly being invaded by others. They tend to avoid conflict by not expressing their thoughts and feelings, avoid any sort of confrontations even when their basic rights are involved, which leaves them feeling – and being – victimized. At the same time, anger builds up in them, so when they do speak up, they tend to do it in an aggressive, attacking and blaming way rather than a constructive, solution-oriented, assertive way.
Aggressive people, on the other hand, attempt to impose their will on others, do not respect other people’s boundaries and are invasive and coercive. Aggressive people may get their way with some people at first, but in the long-run they alienate others, create a lot of stress in their social, family and work environment, experience a lot of failures in all interpersonal relationships and end up having no social support and feeling isolated and victimized themselves.
Somewhere in the middle stands assertiveness which is a way of communicating and behaving that respects the rights of all relationship partners. Assertiveness requires honesty, directness, self-confidence, knowing what your rights are and being able to defend them in positive, constructive ways. Learning to act more assertively will increase your sense of efficacy, of having an impact on your environment, your chances of having honest, straight-forward relationships, your chances of getting your needs met, will improve your ability to make your own decisions and get more satisfaction out of life.
Assertiveness is based on two important traits: relatively good self-confidence and good communication skills.
Self-confidence is built through our experience of effectiveness in the world. This effectiveness can be measured in many areas of experience, like academic or professional achievement, physical or athletic abilities, social and personal relationships, etc. Self-confidence is built from the inside out, meaning that we don’t expect others to provide us with self-confidence but we build it by giving ourselves credit for our strengths, virtues and accomplishments.
Good communication skills involve being a good listener as well being a good speaker and being able to appraise a situation in a cool-headed, non-defensive or fearful manner . Assertive communicators have developed some specific skills for standing up and speaking up for themselves. They have fewer conflicts in their dealings with others, and their needs are more frequently met, so they feel happier and more in control of life situations. Most people desiring to become more assertive start from a passive behavioral baseline and require quite a bit of practice in assertive communication skills before they can see any change in the power balance between them and other people. So start slowly in the beginning, and gradually practice more and more assertive communication skills.
Here are a few tips on what communication skills you need to develop and practice:
Maintain eye contact when you are in a conversation. This way you communicate a self-confident and honest message.
Be specific and direct about what you want, think or feel. Practice making statements like “I want to..”, or “I think…”.
Learn to say “no”.
Use your body language to emphasize your words. When making a demand or a request, stand up straight and speak in a loud and clear voice.
Don’t get personal or over-emotional when you feel your rights are being violated. Comment on the person’s behavior rather than attacking the person. Use “I” statements, instead of “you” statements that sound like accusations. Feel free to say, “I don’t like it when you yell at me” or “I don’t appreciate not being treated fairly”. Asserting yourself this way balances the power between you and the other person. Once you comment on the inappropriate behavior, don’t forget to request the more appropriate behavior that you would like to take its place, like, “I would like you to be on time when we have a date”.
Learn to reward people for positive behavior and establish a positive cooperative spirit in all interpersonal relationships.
Choose the right time and the right place for resolving issues, making sure that the other person is emotionally willing to start a conversation. Otherwise, whatever you have to say may be forgotten or overlooked.
Express your opinions honestly and do not hesitate to have a different opinion from that of other people even if those people are significant to you or in a position of authority – you still are entitled to your own opinions. “Own” your message, acknowledging that you opinion comes from your own perception of the situation, and your own frame of reference. If no agreement can be found that respects the opinion of both parties, then you can “agree to disagree” on the specific issue.
Practice leadership skills like making overtures to other people, offering positive suggestions to peers and colleagues in a positive, friendly, cooperative spirit, and supporting your own opinions, suggestions and proposals with clear and convincing arguments.
Ask for feedback. Encourage others to be clear, direct and specific in their feedback to you. This way, many misunderstandings in the conversation can be easily resolved and you also convey the message that you equally respect the opinion, feelings and rights of others as much as you respect your own.
Reward yourself every time you manage to overcome your fears and habitual passive reactions and are able to formulate an assertive response, regardless of its effect on the other person or the situation.
The important thing is that you keep practicing and reinforcing your assertive communication skills, rather than your initial effectiveness. It may be a new way of communicating for you, so it may take some time before it feels natural, but the more you practice your assertive communication skills, the more confidence you will gain and you will find out that not only is it really easy, but it’s also very effective.
YOUR MIND IS FULL OF THOUGHTS OF LOVE, JUDGEMENT, PEACE, FEAR, GRACE, GUILT, JOY, ANGER, FORGIVENESS, ATTACK, LAUGHTER, WORK, PLAY, JUDGMENT, KINDNESS, ISOLATION AND ONENESS ETC!
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YOUR HEAD IS LIKE A TOOLBOX: Everyday you make a thousand choices. You choose what to wear, where to go, who to meet, what to eat and what to do. MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, YOU decide WHAT TO THINK. One thing is sure and that is that your day will not be better than you thoughts.
Just close your eyes for a moment and see if you can visualise this open toolbox and if you can see the hundreds of tools that are neatly placed in this toolbox. Now look if you can see the maker’s name on these tools. The creator of these tools (thoughts and perceptions) is you. You created thousands of thoughts and perceptions (tools) about everything since your childhood.
When confronted with any situation or problem you reach into this toolbox and take out what you think the most appropriate tool and attempt to fix the problem. It is estimated that your mind thinks at least 2,500 thoughts an hour. Every thought that you think is a tool (perception) that you have that you imagine would work best under specific circumstances. This thought process continue day and night and will do so for the rest of your life.
I am convinced that we think ourselves to a standstill. We never stop playing with these tools in our toolbox and can hardly ever really relax for a while. If we are not faced with a problem or task that needs completion we still continue to take out these tools and mentally rehears and contemplate how we will use them should something that we fear become a reality.
We are forever thinking and scheming and never become still and tranquil inside. Our bodies might seem relaxed, but deep inside our heads this thought process continues churning around. What I am most worried about is that most of the tools that you have in our toolboxes is very old and outdated.
Many of the modern problems that you face cannot be repaired using these tools. If you take a modern mechanic’s toolbox and you place the toolbox of a mechanic of fifty years ago next to it you will find that there are major discrepancies. When you are confronted with something that needs repair and you do not have the right tool for the task at hand it can be very frustrating. We usually improvise and try using some other tool and hope that it will also get the job done.
When you are faced with a problem you need to select the right tool for the task at hand. If you do not have the tool in your toolbox it can complicate your life. What most people seem to ignore is that it is sometimes better not to reach for your toolbox when faced with a problem. Sometimes you need time to pass or need to leave the problem with its rightful owner. How well you use your tools is usually reflected in the world you see around you. What would you do if you were faced with any or all of the following?
You get a flat tire on your way to an important customer or meeting. You can fall apart, develop a migraine and think that life is against you or you can take out the right tools (patience and reality) and take care of the problem in a relaxed manner.
You have been working on the computer for hours and suddenly lose all your work. You can drop dead with a heart attack, think that God hates you or you can take out the right tool (sanity and reality) and begin over again and remember this time to make a backup your work.
A lover or wife possibly cheated on you. You can go crazy and get an assassin to take her potential lover out, think that you are a failure or you can take out the right tool (no fear of loss) and get on with your life.
When you have the right tools in your toolbox it makes life a lot easier. The choices we make are vital in our lives. The more quality choices we make during any given day the higher the probability of success and peace of mind.
I suggest that you equip your toolbox with the best tools you can lay your hands on. If you discover that one of your tools are outdated or that a more modern version is available. How would you react if your TV packed up and a technician that obviously knows very little about electronics arrived at your house with only a sledgehammer and a few other primitive tools in his toolbox? I am sure that you will send him away and find someone better qualified and equipped for the task.
You might sometimes be like this incompetent and poorly equipped technician indicated above if you do not often update your tools (thoughts) in your toolbox. You can also have all the right tools in your toolbox and never use them because you are afraid that you might make a mistake.
You must remember that happiness and success is always just one thought (tool) away. You should remember when you find it difficult to cope with something that one new tool (thought) could change your life. One fresh thought and one new idea can change your life from pain and suffering to success and peace of mind.
You are what you think. Your choices that you make on a moment-to-moment basis decide your fate and future. You are really what you think. You can never feel or perform better than the ongoing thoughts that you allow to occupy your mind!
Decide once and for all that your mood, your sense of balance and well-being are your responsibility.
Decide that you are precious to yourself and that you are in charge of treating yourself well. BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND.
Decide that you love and honor yourself and repeat this as often as you need during the day.
Decide that every day your first and foremost concern is to help yourself feel a little better, no matter how you have woken up that morning or how you may feel at certain moments during the day.
When you are in a good mood, make a list of the things that please you and make you feel good; refer to your list when you feel down and do one or more of those things.
When you are in a good mood, make a list of people, activities, places, images, experiences, memories that ordinarily make you feel good, refer to your list when you feel down and focus for a few minutes on those uplifting thoughts.
Even if you are at home alone, treat yourself with respect. Do not lounge around in your pajamas, unkempt, unshaven, etc. Act as if you are expecting someone and be presentable. It will help greatly when you happen to look at yourself in the mirror.
Take care of your environment. Make it as tidy and comfortable as you can. Throw away old newspapers, magazines, junk mail, put your clothes away in your closet, make your bed, make your home an inviting place for you.
If you live alone, having something alive like a plant or a pet really does help you feel that you have some company, and something to go home to. Buy some plants and decorate your home, and consider getting a pet. Even a goldfish is good enough.
Call a friend, or write to a friend. Invite a friend to your home, or to do something together. Have something specific in mind, like going to a movie, or out to dinner, or for drinks.
REACH OUT
If no friend is available and you are feeling bored and frustrated, take yourself out to a movie, or to dinner, or for a drink. A lot of people feel self-conscious about going out alone. Remember that you are in charge of your feelings and feel proud instead that you are doing something good for yourself. DARE!
Go out for a walk, or a drive. Go on, don’t be lazy, don’t put it off, get out of the house and you will certainly be rewarded by the improvement in your mood.
GET IN TOUCH WITH NATURE. As often as you can, visit parks, places with greenery, take short holidays or daytrips and get in touch with nature. Enjoy the sounds, the smells, the sights, awaken your senses.
Attend a lecture.
Go to an art gallery.
Go to the theater and watch a great performance.
Play your favorite music, and make sure it’s your favorite uplifting music.
Take a long, luxurious bubble-bath.
Buy yourself a present, yes, go on, splurge, buy something you have been wanting for a long time.
Read an inspiring book, read some poetry, or go out and buy some new books.
Cook a gourmet dinner for yourself. Invite someone to share it.
Exercise. Doing even some simple exercises at home, by focusing on and energizing your body, you will immediately feel the improvement in your mood.Use your body, awaken your body, enliven your body and your mood will lift. Do some gardening, or some serious housecleaning!
Meditate. You don’t have to use any complicated procedures. Just decide to take a break from the negative self-talk going on in your mind. Sit quietly, focus on your breath, tell yourself to relax, and when you do feel completely relaxed lose yourself in a beautiful, relaxing scene like a serene pool, a lush forest, a beautiful beach and stay there as long as you like.
Distract yourself from the condition, topic, person, situation, event that has brought you down. Your first priority is always your balance, your peace of mind.
Avoid dwelling on past hurts and grievances, avoid painting a grim and gloomy picture of the totality of your life. Focus on the present, focus on yourself now, focus only on improving your mood now.
Find things to be thankful for, things to appreciate in yourself, your environment, your job, your friends, your family, your neighborhood, your city.
End each day by remembering to think good, loving thoughts for yourself. Make sure you fall asleep in a sweet mood. This will ensure that you will have pleasant dreams and wake up next morning in a much better mood.
The feeling of personal power is key in all interpersonal relationships. Many people are not very clear about what assertiveness is and how it differs from aggressiveness. One main difference is that aggressiveness is about power over other people, while assertiveness is about being able to assert our rights and stand up for our thoughts and feelings while respecting the rights, thoughts and feelings of others.
Passive people habitually submit to other people’s dominance play, do not have clear boundaries, and are constantly being invaded by others. They tend to avoid conflict by not expressing their thoughts and feelings, avoid any sort of confrontations even when their basic rights are involved, which leaves them feeling – and being – victimized. At the same time, anger builds up in them, so when they do speak up, they tend to do it in an aggressive, attacking and blaming way rather than a constructive, solution-oriented, assertive way.
Aggressive people, on the other hand, attempt to impose their will on others, do not respect other people’s boundaries and are invasive and coercive. Aggressive people may get their way with some people at first, but in the long-run they alienate others, create a lot of stress in their social, family and work environment, experience a lot of failures in all interpersonal relationships and end up having no social support and feeling isolated and victimized themselves.
Somewhere in the middle stands assertiveness which is a way of communicating and behaving that respects the rights of all relationship partners. Assertiveness requires honesty, directness, self-confidence, knowing what your rights are and being able to defend them in positive, constructive ways. Learning to act more assertively will increase your sense of efficacy, of having an impact on your environment, your chances of having honest, straight-forward relationships, your chances of getting your needs met, will improve your ability to make your own decisions and get more satisfaction out of life.
Assertiveness is based on two important traits: relatively good self-confidence and good communication skills.
Self-confidence is built through our experience of effectiveness in the world. This effectiveness can be measured in many areas of experience, like academic or professional achievement, physical or athletic abilities, social and personal relationships, etc. Self-confidence is built from the inside out, meaning that we don’t expect others to provide us with self-confidence but we build it by giving ourselves credit for our strengths, virtues and accomplishments.
Good communication skills involve being a good listener as well being a good speaker and being able to appraise a situation in a cool-headed, non-defensive or fearful manner . Assertive communicators have developed some specific skills for standing up and speaking up for themselves. They have fewer conflicts in their dealings with others, and their needs are more frequently met, so they feel happier and more in control of life situations. Most people desiring to become more assertive start from a passive behavioral baseline and require quite a bit of practice in assertive communication skills before they can see any change in the power balance between them and other people. So start slowly in the beginning, and gradually practice more and more assertive communication skills.
Here are a few tips on what communication skills you need to develop and practice:
Maintain eye contact when you are in a conversation. This way you communicate a self-confident and honest message.
Be specific and direct about what you want, think or feel. Practice making statements like “I want to..”, or “I think…”.
Learn to say “no”.
Use your body language to emphasize your words. When making a demand or a request, stand up straight and speak in a loud and clear voice.
Don’t get personal or over-emotional when you feel your rights are being violated. Comment on the person’s behavior rather than attacking the person. Use “I” statements, instead of “you” statements that sound like accusations. Feel free to say, “I don’t like it when you yell at me” or “I don’t appreciate not being treated fairly”. Asserting yourself this way balances the power between you and the other person. Once you comment on the inappropriate behavior, don’t forget to request the more appropriate behavior that you would like to take its place, like, “I would like you to be on time when we have a date”.
Learn to reward people for positive behavior and establish a positive cooperative spirit in all interpersonal relationships.
Choose the right time and the right place for resolving issues, making sure that the other person is emotionally willing to start a conversation. Otherwise, whatever you have to say may be forgotten or overlooked.
Express your opinions honestly and do not hesitate to have a different opinion from that of other people even if those people are significant to you or in a position of authority – you still are entitled to your own opinions. “Own” your message, acknowledging that you opinion comes from your own perception of the situation, and your own frame of reference. If no agreement can be found that respects the opinion of both parties, then you can “agree to disagree” on the specific issue.
Practice leadership skills like making overtures to other people, offering positive suggestions to peers and colleagues in a positive, friendly, cooperative spirit, and supporting your own opinions, suggestions and proposals with clear and convincing arguments.
Ask for feedback. Encourage others to be clear, direct and specific in their feedback to you. This way, many misunderstandings in the conversation can be easily resolved and you also convey the message that you equally respect the opinion, feelings and rights of others as much as you respect your own.
Reward yourself every time you manage to overcome your fears and habitual passive reactions and are able to formulate an assertive response, regardless of its effect on the other person or the situation.
The important thing is that you keep practising and reinforcing your assertive communication skills, rather than your initial effectiveness. It may be a new way of communicating for you, so it may take some time before it feels natural, but the more you practice your assertive communication skills, the more confidence you will gain and you will find out that not only is it really easy, but it’s also very effective.
YOUR MIND IS FULL OF THOUGHTS OF LOVE, JUDGEMENT, PEACE, FEAR, GRACE, GUILT, JOY, ANGER, FORGIVENESS, ATTACK, LAUGHTER, WORK, PLAY, JUDGMENT, KINDNESS, ISOLATION AND ONENESS ETC!
YOUR HEAD IS LIKE A TOOLBOX: Everyday you make a thousand choices. You choose what to wear, where to go, who to meet, what to eat and what to do. MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, YOU decide WHAT TO THINK. One thing is sure and that is that your day will not be better than you thoughts.
Just close your eyes for a moment and see if you can visualise this open toolbox and if you can see the hundreds of tools that are neatly placed in this toolbox. Now look if you can see the maker’s name on these tools. The creator of these tools (thoughts and perceptions) is you. You created thousands of thoughts and perceptions (tools) about everything since your childhood.
When confronted with any situation or problem you reach into this toolbox and take out what you think the most appropriate tool and attempt to fix the problem. It is estimated that your mind thinks at least 2,500 thoughts an hour. Every thought that you think is a tool (perception) that you have that you imagine would work best under specific circumstances. This thought process continue day and night and will do so for the rest of your life.
I am convinced that we think ourselves to a standstill. We never stop playing with these tools in our toolbox and can hardly ever really relax for a while. If we are not faced with a problem or task that needs completion we still continue to take out these tools and mentally rehears and contemplate how we will use them should something that we fear become a reality.
We are forever thinking and scheming and never become still and tranquil inside. Our bodies might seem relaxed, but deep inside our heads this thought process continues churning around. What I am most worried about is that most of the tools that you have in our toolboxes is very old and outdated.
Many of the modern problems that you face cannot be repaired using these tools. If you take a modern mechanic’s toolbox and you place the toolbox of a mechanic of fifty years ago next to it you will find that there are major discrepancies. When you are confronted with something that needs repair and you do not have the right tool for the task at hand it can be very frustrating. We usually improvise and try using some other tool and hope that it will also get the job done.
When you are faced with a problem you need to select the right tool for the task at hand. If you do not have the tool in your toolbox it can complicate your life. What most people seem to ignore is that it is sometimes better not to reach for your toolbox when faced with a problem. Sometimes you need time to pass or need to leave the problem with its rightful owner. How well you use your tools is usually reflected in the world you see around you. What would you do if you were faced with any or all of the following?
You get a flat tire on your way to an important customer or meeting. You can fall apart, develop a migraine and think that life is against you or you can take out the right tools (patience and reality) and take care of the problem in a relaxed manner.
You have been working on the computer for hours and suddenly lose all your work. You can drop dead with a heart attack, think that God hates you or you can take out the right tool (sanity and reality) and begin over again and remember this time to make a backup your work.
A lover or wife possibly cheated on you. You can go crazy and get an assassin to take her potential lover out, think that you are a failure or you can take out the right tool (no fear of loss) and get on with your life.
When you have the right tools in your toolbox it makes life a lot easier. The choices we make are vital in our lives. The more quality choices we make during any given day the higher the probability of success and peace of mind.
I suggest that you equip your toolbox with the best tools you can lay your hands on. If you discover that one of your tools are outdated or that a more modern version is available. How would you react if your TV packed up and a technician that obviously knows very little about electronics arrived at your house with only a sledgehammer and a few other primitive tools in his toolbox? I am sure that you will send him away and find someone better qualified and equipped for the task.
You might sometimes be like this incompetent and poorly equipped technician indicated above if you do not often update your tools (thoughts) in your toolbox. You can also have all the right tools in your toolbox and never use them because you are afraid that you might make a mistake.
You must remember that happiness and success is always just one thought (tool) away. You should remember when you find it difficult to cope with something that one new tool (thought) could change your life. One fresh thought and one new idea can change your life from pain and suffering to success and peace of mind.
You are what you think. Your choices that you make on a moment-to-moment basis decide your fate and future. You are really what you think. You can never feel or perform better than the ongoing thoughts that you allow to occupy your mind!
Decide once and for all that your mood, your sense of balance and well-being are your responsibility. Decide that you are precious to yourself and that you are in charge of treating yourself well. BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND.
Decide that you love and honour yourself and repeat this as often as you need during the day.
Decide that every day your first and foremost concern is to help yourself feel a little better, no matter how you have woken up that morning or how you may feel at certain moments during the day.
When you are in a good mood, make a list of the things that please you and make you feel good; refer to your list when you feel down and do one or more of those things.
When you are in a good mood, make a list of people, activities, places, images, experiences, memories that ordinarily make you feel good, refer to your list when you feel down and focus for a few minutes on those uplifting thoughts.
Even if you are at home alone, treat yourself with respect. Do not lounge around in your pajamas, unkempt, unshaven, etc. Act as if you are expecting someone and be presentable. It will help greatly when you happen to look at yourself in the mirror.
Take care of your environment. Make it as tidy and comfortable as you can. Throw away old newspapers, magazines, junk mail, put your clothes away in your closet, make your bed, make your home an inviting place for you.
If you live alone, having something alive like a plant or a pet really does help you feel that you have some company, and something to go home to. Buy some plants and decorate your home, and consider getting a pet. Even a goldfish is good enough.
Call a friend, or write to a friend. Invite a friend to your home, or to do something together. Have something specific in mind, like going to a movie, or out to dinner, or for drinks. REACH OUT.
If no friend is available and you are feeling bored and frustrated, take yourself out to a movie, or to dinner, or for a drink. A lot of people feel self-conscious about going out alone. Remember that you are in charge of your feelings and feel proud instead that you are doing something good for yourself. DARE!
Go out for a walk, or a drive. Go on, don’t be lazy, don’t put it off, get out of the house and you will certainly be rewarded by the improvement in your mood.
GET IN TOUCH WITH NATURE. As often as you can, visit parks, places with greenery, take short holidays or day trips and get in touch with nature. Enjoy the sounds, the smells, the sights, awaken your senses.
Attend a lecture.
Go to an art gallery.
Go to the theater and watch a great performance.
Play your favorite music, and make sure it’s your favorite uplifting music.
Take a long, luxurious bubble-bath.
Buy yourself a present, yes, go on, splurge, buy something you have been wanting for a long time.
Read an inspiring book, read some poetry, or go out and buy some new books.
Cook a gourmet dinner for yourself. Invite someone to share it.
Exercise. Doing even some simple exercises at home, by focusing on and energizing your body, you will immediately feel the improvement in your mood.Use your body, awaken your body, enliven your body and your mood will lift. Do some gardening, or some serious housecleaning!
Meditate. You don’t have to use any complicated procedures. Just decide to take a break from the negative self-talk going on in your mind. Sit quietly, focus on your breath, tell yourself to relax, and when you do feel completely relaxed lose yourself in a beautiful, relaxing scene like a serene pool, a lush forest, a beautiful beach and stay there as long as you like.
Distract yourself from the condition, topic, person, situation, event that has brought you down. Your first priority is always your balance, your peace of mind.
Avoid dwelling on past hurts and grievances, avoid painting a grim and gloomy picture of the totality of your life. Focus on the present, focus on yourself now, focus only on improving your mood now.
Find things to be thankful for, things to appreciate in yourself, your environment, your job, your friends, your family, your neighborhood, your city.
End each day by remembering to think good, loving thoughts for yourself. Make sure you fall asleep in a sweet mood. This will ensure that you will have pleasant dreams and wake up next morning in a much better mood.
A defeated person becomes indifferent about his fate. He finally stops feeling ashamed or sorry. He stops resisting and fighting to reclaim his dignity. The wise is very aware that passive behaviour could make him act like a dog with a broken spirit. Our parks are filled with defeated individuals that tragically accepted their fate in life.
It is not a shame to not reach your goals, but not having goals is disastrous. How can you fly your plane of life and forget to lodge a flight plan? How can others help you if not even you know where you want to be? The formula for success is actually very simple. Decide what you want and then start doing stuff that will take you towards your desired objective. The fool is convinced that it is a shame to retreat or admit defeat. He will rather give his life, lose his house or estrange his family than admit that he made a mistake.
We sometimes must go back so we can go forward. The fool continues regardless of the obvious while the wise man retreats and learns from his mistakes. There is a saying, “Run away today so you can fight again another day.” A strategic retreat is standard procedure during times of war. The wise man knows when it is time to leave. The fool clings to his sinking ship until it is buried in the waves. Leave at the right moment and you will be missed, but overstay your welcome and you will be shunned. It is no shame to call it a day, call time out or to retire hurt for a while. The fool is too proud or too stupid to see when a cycle has ended.
When we were born, we received the gift of unlimited potential. It is a shame that this gift is soon taken away by those that were responsible for our education. You were already fully conditioned before your tenth birthday to accept the limitations of the zone you were born into. The real warrior is not zone-bound and can move into any zone with ease.
Your spirit is unlimited and can adapt to any circumstances. You were born a champion and will remain a champion until your final day on this plane. When you are knocked down while playing the game of life you can see the setbacks as the end of your attempt, or you could view them as part of your education process at the university of life. There is no shame in failure or mistakes, but there is reason for concern when you stay down. Champions fail their way to success. When they fail, they get up, dust themselves off and try again. They make the necessary adjustments until they succeed. They are champions because they got up many times after being knocked down.
Champions do not see themselves as victims or cry over spilled milk. A child reared without clear boundaries has little chance of success. Limits are necessary to give purpose, direction and structure to life. The fool swims in a boundless sea of opportunity and finally drowns because of his failure to latch onto a specific purpose. He tries to own the sea while the wise man selects a single purpose (opportunity/goal) and then pursue it with all his heart. The wise man understands the power of commitment and focused thought and is well rewarded. A person that lives in a safe, moderate middle of the road manner will never experience true living. How can you appreciate victory if you never tasted defeat? How can you appreciate good food if you never went hungry? Dare to go to the outer perimeters of your comfort zone and discover the true spirit of the pioneer. Flirt with failure and learn what passion is all about.
A true warrior accepts that struggles and challenges will assist him to become a formidable fighter. The fool is afraid of problems, challenges or setbacks and can thus never become a true warrior. The formidable fighter understands that challenges and struggles will be part of his life until his final day on this planet. The fool cries and moans every time life throws a curveball at him. Setbacks and failures are part of the training school of life.
A wise man is aware of his limitations. He spends most of his time doing what he naturally excels at and does not waste valuable time pursuing activities that obviously do not suit his style. Certain people can run like the wind and others excel academically. The less informed sees himself as a failure if he is not flawless in everything he does. A wise person is not the slave of his history. He came to the realisation that whatever happened in the past is history. Every moment is a new challenge. The fool is so entangled mentally with the failures and mistakes that he made historically that he is unable to do his best in the current moment. Wisdom is to forget about your history and to accept that the state of your current world is the only reality.
People love using people’s history against them. They shackle them to their history and in this manner prevent them from making a success of the now. All of us need recognition and acceptance. We might have a history of failures and disasters, but deep inside the flame of being special to someone continues to flicker in the dark recesses of our minds. You will select your words with much more care if you can understand this inherent need of people. You will take your own priorities out of the way for a while and rather focus on the dreams and aspirations of the people that share your journey on spaceship earth. Acceptance costs nothing and can be passed on with unbridled abundance.
All you have in life is the current moment. You can only live life one moment at a time. If you allow past mistakes and poor choices to infiltrate your current moment you are setting yourself up for failure. Most of us have made many poor choices since our early childhood. There is no purpose at all in replaying past mistakes made in the theatre of your mind.
Living your life in the moment can be the most liberating thing you ever decided on. When will we learn that we do most of our living in our heads? We experience life according to the wide range of meanings we historically allocated to everything. Other people live their lives using the same principle. It is wonderful to know that we can bring fun, joy and happiness to our lives by allowing other individuals to live their lives according to their own perceptions.
Question – Are you easy to be with or do people run for the hills when they see you approaching?
If you ask me what is the biggest discovery that I made during my endless years of research on the reason why we fail I would boldly state the following:
It is a myth that we are the victims of our history. This myth tends to put us in a perpetual hypnotised, victim state. We walk, talk, act and react according to the filters that we look through while playing the game of life. Most of us are on auto-pilot and automatically act and react in the manner dictated to us according to our mindset on the matter at hand. We cringe and we cry or dance in elation according to the historical scripts that we adopted since early childhood. The world became our stage. We endlessly repeat our little dramas and hardly ever think that there might be better alternatives if we STOP for a moment and look at the CURRENT moment in an OBJECTIVE and COMPOSED manner.
Our history cannot impact on our CURRENT moment without our permission. Our history and perceptions on everything and everyone is nothing more than lifeless data files stored in our sub-conscious minds. They cannot spring to life without our activation. They cannot make us sad or depressed until we send the signal via our thoughts that trigger them to life. The amazing thing for many of us must be the ability of these historical pictures, when activated to force us to once more look at the blood, wounds and feelings of disaster that we experienced during the birth of these experiences. It is impossible to remain composed, in control or positive while we allow these strings of historical data to contaminate our CURRENT moments.
Did you know that time is an illusion. The only time that is REAL is this very MOMENT. Nothing that happened HISTORICALLY or that might happen in the FUTURE can contaminate your current moment without your permission. No horror movies can play on the screen of your mind until you upload a single or series of historical data packages from your sub-conscious minds. You cannot manage your life or a specific moment on MERIT while you remain in AUTO-PLAY. How can you be brave when you constantly allow your historical horror movies to scare the living shit out of you? It is a simple as that. You can never escape your current circumstances (financial, relationship etc.) while you continuously work with old and often outdated blueprints.
This nasty habit is causing billions to stagger out of bed each day and repeat the same old cycles and rituals like slaves. They dance the same old monotonous dance and hope that something or someone will bring some joy or luck into their grey and uninteresting lives. They yearn for love, friendship, joy, prosperity or success, but fail to understand that it is impossible to manifest anything that falls outside of our current or habitual mindsets.
You have something called will-power. You can take your power back today. You make hundred of choices every hour. You can decide that you are going to get off your chair or bed right now and confront each moment in an objective and positive manner. You can decide that acting like a puppet or a slave is no longer fun. You can kick adversity in the balls and challenge those that cause you discomfort to “bring it on”. Can you see that you can become objective, strong, loving and fun to be with if you stop the tendency to allow your history to dictate each and every moment in your life? You can become productive and efficient right now if you PAUSE for a moment before you act or react. The key is the choices you make. What you do, think or fail to do will manifest tomorrow, next week and next year.
Draw a line in the sand today, right now and take your power back. Be brave and make decisions even if the outcomes might not be what you anticipated. You can always make new decisions and make adjustments to your new flight plan. Decide today that you are going to LIVE until you DIE. It is easy when you understand that all you need to do is to manage your CURRENT MOMENT.
Decide once and for all that your mood, your sense of balance and well-being are your responsibility.
Decide that you are precious to yourself and that you are in charge of treating yourself well. BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND.
Decide that you love and honour yourself and repeat this as often as you need during the day.
Decide that every day your first and foremost concern is to help yourself feel a little better, no matter how you have woken up that morning or how you may feel at certain moments during the day.
When you are in a good mood, make a list of the things that please you and make you feel good; refer to your list when you feel down and do one or more of those things.
When you are in a good mood, make a list of people, activities, places, images, experiences, memories that ordinarily make you feel good, refer to your list when you feel down and focus for a few minutes on those uplifting thoughts.
Even if you are at home alone, treat yourself with respect. Do not lounge around in your pyjamas, unkempt, unshaven, etc. Act as if you are expecting someone and be presentable. It will help greatly when you happen to look at yourself in the mirror.
Take care of your environment. Make it as tidy and comfortable as you can. Throw away old newspapers, magazines, junk mail, put your clothes away in your closet, make your bed, make your home an inviting place for you.
If you live alone, having something alive like a plant or a pet really does help you feel that you have some company, and something to go home to. Buy some plants and decorate your home, and consider getting a pet. Even a goldfish is good enough.
Call a friend, or write to a friend. Invite a friend to your home, or to do something together. Have something specific in mind, like going to a movie, or out to dinner, or for drinks. REACH OUT.
If no friend is available and you are feeling bored and frustrated, take yourself out to a movie, or to dinner, or for a drink. A lot of people feel self-conscious about going out alone. Remember that you are in charge of your feelings and feel proud instead that you are doing something good for yourself. DARE!
Go out for a walk, or a drive. Go on, don’t be lazy, don’t put it off, get out of the house and you will certainly be rewarded by the improvement in your mood.
GET IN TOUCH WITH NATURE. As often as you can, visit parks, places with greenery, take short holidays or day trips and get in touch with nature. Enjoy the sounds, the smells, the sights, awaken your senses.
Attend a lecture.
Go to an art gallery.
Go to the theatre and watch a great performance.
Play your favourite music, and make sure it’s your favorite uplifting music.
Take a long, luxurious bubble-bath.
Buy yourself a present, yes, go on, splurge, buy something you have been wanting for a long time.
Read an inspiring book, read some poetry, or go out and buy some new books.
Cook a gourmet dinner for yourself. Invite someone to share it.
Exercise. Doing even some simple exercises at home, by focusing on and energizing your body, you will immediately feel the improvement in your mood.Use your body, awaken your body, enliven your body and your mood will lift. Do some gardening, or some serious housecleaning!
Meditate. You don’t have to use any complicated procedures. Just decide to take a break from the negative self-talk going on in your mind. Sit quietly, focus on your breath, tell yourself to relax, and when you do feel completely relaxed lose yourself in a beautiful, relaxing scene like a serene pool, a lush forest, a beautiful beach and stay there as long as you like.
Distract yourself from the condition, topic, person, situation, event that has brought you down. Your first priority is always your balance, your peace of mind.
Avoid dwelling on past hurts and grievances, avoid painting a grim and gloomy picture of the totality of your life. Focus on the present, focus on yourself now, focus only on improving your mood now.
Find things to be thankful for, things to appreciate in yourself, your environment, your job, your friends, your family, your neighborhood, your city.
End each day by remembering to think good, loving thoughts for yourself. Make sure you fall asleep in a sweet mood. This will ensure that you will have pleasant dreams and wake up next morning in a much better mood.
The feeling of personal power is key in all interpersonal relationships. Many people are not very clear about what assertiveness is and how it differs from aggressiveness. One main difference is that aggressiveness is about power over other people, while assertiveness is about being able to assert our rights and stand up for our thoughts and feelings while respecting the rights, thoughts and feelings of others.
Passive people habitually submit to other people’s dominance play, do not have clear boundaries, and are constantly being invaded by others. They tend to avoid conflict by not expressing their thoughts and feelings, avoid any sort of confrontations even when their basic rights are involved, which leaves them feeling – and being – victimized. At the same time, anger builds up in them, so when they do speak up, they tend to do it in an aggressive, attacking and blaming way rather than a constructive, solution-oriented, assertive way.
Aggressive people, on the other hand, attempt to impose their will on others, do not respect other people’s boundaries and are invasive and coercive. Aggressive people may get their way with some people at first, but in the long-run they alienate others, create a lot of stress in their social, family and work environment, experience a lot of failures in all interpersonal relationships and end up having no social support and feeling isolated and victimized themselves.
Somewhere in the middle stands assertiveness which is a way of communicating and behaving that respects the rights of all relationship partners. Assertiveness requires honesty, directness, self-confidence, knowing what your rights are and being able to defend them in positive, constructive ways. Learning to act more assertively will increase your sense of efficacy, of having an impact on your environment, your chances of having honest, straight-forward relationships, your chances of getting your needs met, will improve your ability to make your own decisions and get more satisfaction out of life.
Assertiveness is based on two important traits: relatively good self-confidence and good communication skills.
Self-confidence is built through our experience of effectiveness in the world. This effectiveness can be measured in many areas of experience, like academic or professional achievement, physical or athletic abilities, social and personal relationships, etc. Self-confidence is built from the inside out, meaning that we don’t expect others to provide us with self-confidence but we build it by giving ourselves credit for our strengths, virtues and accomplishments.
Good communication skills involve being a good listener as well being a good speaker and being able to appraise a situation in a cool-headed, non-defensive or fearful manner . Assertive communicators have developed some specific skills for standing up and speaking up for themselves. They have fewer conflicts in their dealings with others, and their needs are more frequently met, so they feel happier and more in control of life situations. Most people desiring to become more assertive start from a passive behavioral baseline and require quite a bit of practice in assertive communication skills before they can see any change in the power balance between them and other people. So start slowly in the beginning, and gradually practice more and more assertive communication skills.
Here are a few tips on what communication skills you need to develop and practice:
Maintain eye contact when you are in a conversation. This way you communicate a self-confident and honest message.
Be specific and direct about what you want, think or feel. Practice making statements like “I want to..”, or “I think…”.
Learn to say “no”.
Use your body language to emphasize your words. When making a demand or a request, stand up straight and speak in a loud and clear voice.
Don’t get personal or over-emotional when you feel your rights are being violated. Comment on the person’s behavior rather than attacking the person. Use “I” statements, instead of “you” statements that sound like accusations. Feel free to say, “I don’t like it when you yell at me” or “I don’t appreciate not being treated fairly”. Asserting yourself this way balances the power between you and the other person. Once you comment on the inappropriate behavior, don’t forget to request the more appropriate behavior that you would like to take its place, like, “I would like you to be on time when we have a date”.
Learn to reward people for positive behavior and establish a positive cooperative spirit in all interpersonal relationships.
Choose the right time and the right place for resolving issues, making sure that the other person is emotionally willing to start a conversation. Otherwise, whatever you have to say may be forgotten or overlooked.
Express your opinions honestly and do not hesitate to have a different opinion from that of other people even if those people are significant to you or in a position of authority – you still are entitled to your own opinions. “Own” your message, acknowledging that you opinion comes from your own perception of the situation, and your own frame of reference. If no agreement can be found that respects the opinion of both parties, then you can “agree to disagree” on the specific issue.
Practice leadership skills like making overtures to other people, offering positive suggestions to peers and colleagues in a positive, friendly, cooperative spirit, and supporting your own opinions, suggestions and proposals with clear and convincing arguments.
Ask for feedback. Encourage others to be clear, direct and specific in their feedback to you. This way, many misunderstandings in the conversation can be easily resolved and you also convey the message that you equally respect the opinion, feelings and rights of others as much as you respect your own.
Reward yourself every time you manage to overcome your fears and habitual passive reactions and are able to formulate an assertive response, regardless of its effect on the other person or the situation.
The important thing is that you keep practicing and reinforcing your assertive communication skills, rather than your initial effectiveness. It may be a new way of communicating for you, so it may take some time before it feels natural, but the more you practice your assertive communication skills, the more confidence you will gain and you will find out that not only is it really easy, but it’s also very effective.
You are the only thinker in your mind. This is the most wonderful discovery anyone can ever make. It is the key to freedom—the high road. Because this means that you are the choice-maker. You are the one who decides.
Your ability to choose what you focus your attention on is what makes you a free individual. If you could not think for yourself and choose your focus, you would not be free. But you can, because no one else can get into your mind and think for you. Please think deeply about it—and you will see how truly amazing this is. Yes it is true that people can use force on the outer plane to coerce other people to do or say things, but no one can get into another person’s mind and think for them.
This is what makes us human beings.
This is what makes human life so precious, because we have the ability to be aware and choose our focus—and thus grow and evolve spiritually.
Having free will is our greatest gift and privilege. It is also our greatest challenge!
Why? Because no matter what is happening around you—no matter what—no matter what anyone says or does, you and you alone choose the focus of your attention. No one else can make this choice for you. Only you can do it.
That is why we are the choice-makers.
This choice is our only freedom.
Free will is our only freedom.
And whether we are aware of it or not, we are always exercising this privilege, this freedom because we are always choosing.
So please wake up to the fact that you are choosing right now—and every single minute of every single day.
Nothing else is going on.
And nothing is more important—or more wonderful than this!
So contemplate on this until you fully understand the significance (and power) of free will. Free will is what we are. Free will is our true nature, our essence. Free will is all we have, and fortunately for us, free will is everything!
When you observe what you are doing with this in mind, you will see that this is true. In every moment, you are choosing the focus of your attention. In every situation, you are making a choice. Either you are choosing to focus on the potential and the goodness of a situation or person before you or you are choosing to focus on the limitations and the negative in the situation or person before you. And it’s always like this. From the very smallest, most insignificant events in our lives like standing in line at the supermarket to the so-called big and important events in our personal relationships, careers and on the world stage.
When we understand this, we will also understand why the Wise say it’s all about you—andit’s always all about you. Nothing else is going on but your choice of focus.
You choose your focus and then you get to experience your choice.
It’s as simple as that.
Learning to choose wisely
This is why it is so important to learn to choose wisely!
Because we get to experience all our choices!
So it makes sense to learn to focus our attention wisely. This is what all the great teachers have been telling us throughout the ages—the importance of exercising your free will and choosing wisely.
Learning to choose wisely requires self-discipline. Learning to choose wisely means following your wisdom rather than choosing immediate pleasure. The Wise tell us that even if this is difficult, it is necessary if we wish to evolve on the pathway of life and achieve our highest potential.
Obviously this is no news to any thinking person because everyone knows that success in any field requires self-discipline. Successful people make up their minds, focus on their goals, and are disciplined about reaching them. Just think about the people you admire. How did they become great? The great leaders, the great athletes, the great musicians, the great artists, the great spiritual teachers—how did they achieve what they achieved? They used their free will to choose a course of action and then they focused all their attention on their goals. They used their free will to spend time learning and practising their skills!
And what about successful business people? No one is successful in the world of business without exercising a great deal of self-discipline. The same goes for politicians, world leaders, and for good parents, good teachers and good partners. Everyone who succeeds at achieving anything learns to use their free will wisely and to exercise self-discipline.
The same goes for happiness! Even though people may think happiness is a haphazard event, true happiness isn’t haphazard. Achieving true happiness requires self-discipline too! Now I am not talking about random or accidental type of happiness that comes from outer events and which depends on other people. I am talking about true happiness, the deep inner happiness which is our natural state and which arises in wise people who are living in harmony with this thing calls life. The people who experience this deep inner happiness see the Nature of Reality and understand the way the mind works. This kind of happiness is stable and comes from within. It is unconditional because it does not depend on outer circumstances.
For those of us on the path who can see and understand this, realizing this inner state and achieving this kind of happiness requires continual self-discipline. Achieving this goal requires constant study and daily contemplation of this thing called life. Plus using our free will to practice the techniques required to cultivate and nourish this deep inner peace and inner happiness. This is what spiritual practice is all about. And of course what most self-help books and books about personal development and spiritual growth are about. The best books describe practices for self-empowerment and spiritual growth which require study, daily practice and self-discipline.
Most people work with their bodies, but not with their minds.
Daily practice and self-discipline
Here are some examples of the types of practices I am talking—all of which require active use of our free will. The practices described below may seem simple, but anyone who has ever tried any of them knows they require a great deal of self-discipline!
Practising non-judgment: A good focal point on the spiritual pathway is making the decision to let go of our judgment about people, things and events. This is an excellent practice because we use so much mental energy judging people, things and events all the time and this creates a great deal of inner turbulence. Practising non-judgment (in other words just letting things unfold without engaging in an inner dialogue about them) quiets the mind and slowly allows a deep inner stillness to emerge. But practising non-judgment, even for an hour a day, requires self-discipline. To do this, you must use your free will. You must decide to do this and keep practising! Day in and day out!
Practicing non-resistance: Another good focal point is to use your free will to decide not to resist whatever is happening in this moment. Even though we may be unaware of it, many of us are often at war with this moment. We are resisting what is happening in our lives right now—and this creates a great deal of stress and anxiety. So what happens when we stop resisting what is happening right now? It’s an amazing experience and wonderful spiritual practice. But again, we are so used to resisting what is, that it requires real focus and self-discipline to stop resisting this moment. Do it on a regular basis and see how it transforms your life! See page xx for more about this practice.
Practicing seeing the potential for good in every situation: Here’s another good inner practice that requires active use of your free will. To see the potential for good in every situation no matter what is going on—to see the highest and best in every person present—requires constant control of your focus. You have to be aware of what you are thinking, doing and saying in order to do this. You must be mindful and self-conscious enough so when you find yourself dwelling on the negative, you are awake enough to realize that it’s time to shift your focus. Again this requires constant vigilance which is why it is a demanding spiritual practice, unless of course you are Forrest Gump! (See the Law of Substitution on page xx for more about this practice.)
Practicing no gossip: Here’s a wonderful practice I learned at Findhorn, a spiritual community in northern Scotland. This is what they attempt to do. Whenever a member of the community has something to say about another person, instead of talking behind the person’s back, the community member must go up to that person and tell the person directly to his or her face what’s it is her or she wants to say. In practice, this means that when you are talking to anyone in the community—if you have something to say about another person—they will tell you to go and tell it to that person instead of to them! This is a wonderful practice that requires a great deal of self-discipline! Try this for a few days and find out what a gossip you really are!
This was just a few examples of spiritual practices that require conscious choice and self discipline. Obviously, there are so many excellent practices we can devote ourselves to such as:
– Practicing mindfulness (being present in this moment:
– Practicing compassion
– Practicing forgiveness
– Practicing service
– Practicing meditation
– Practicing silence for an hour a day
The importance of intention
The great ones also tell us that intention is everything. Since it is difficult to see the end of all things or to know what is good or bad in the long term for ourselves or for anyone else, the motivation behind our actions should be our guiding light. What is the reason or motive for what you are doing? Is your intention love, kindness and compassion? Do you hope to ease the suffering of your fellow beings with your words and actions? Is your intention to be of service and help people? Or are you only thinking of short-term pleasure, material gain, and what’s in it for you? According to the Wise, it is our motivation and intention which determines the karmic consequences of our thoughts and actions. Thus we see the importance of using our free will wisely and the importance of our intention when it comes to making wise choices.
So practice using the information you already have! Follow the wisdom you already have (which is always a lot more than we realize)! Remember what the Great Ones say.
Don’t waste your precious time.
Follow your wisdom and not your emotions.
Exercise self-discipline.
Keep practicing and persevere.
Wake up to your true power and choose wisely!
Understanding this can and will change your life!
Reality check: It’s your choice
Everything in this book is designed to help you slow down and become more aware of your mental processes and of what you are doing. As we learn to watch our minds and our inner processes, we begin to see the mechanisms that are running our lives. In this connection, as we learn to watch our thoughts arising and disappearing again, we discover that we also have a choice when it comes to attaching to a thought or not. In other words, we start to see that we don’t actually have to believe all our thoughts! We can, for example, just watch them arise and disappear again. And we can question their validity. We can watch a thought arising and ask ourselves—is this thought true? Do I want believe this thought? Do I need to believe this thought? Do I want to let my life be run by this thought or belief? This ability to detach from our thoughts and question them is also the power of the choice-maker.
YOUR COMPOSURE CAN MAKE YOU OR BREAK YOU. THE WAY YOU WALK AND TALK AND PRESENT YOURSELF WILL DECIDE THE LEVEL ON INFLUENCE YOU EXERT!
Very few people understand the powerful role their composure plays in everything they do and how they feel. You can never act in a positive manner if you go around with a troubled look on your face, slumped shoulders and whine in your voice. How can you think and act in a positive manner if your whole demeanour is that of a loser or fader? What you think is displayed in the image you project to the people around you. I have never seen a person with a negative attitude and poor self-image go up to any rostrum to receive first prize. I have never seen any person with the image of a bird with a broken wing sell like a champion. I have never seen a parent with the image of a bullterrier win the love and respect of his own children. What you project activates chemicals in your brain that will either fuel your passion or dowse the fire in your heart.
How can you expect to feel, act and be positive if you project an image of a dog that got one too many hiding? The point I am making here is that you have the power within you to turn you negative feelings around by simply adjusting your composure. When you feel down and defeated, pull back your shoulders, lift your head and take a few deep breaths. Look life and people straight in the eye. This will immediately trigger positive chemicals in your brain. The dark clouds will lift from your brain and stop smothering your creativity and passion.
This might sound too simple to be worth much, but just try it the next time you feel down and defeated. You will be amazed what power is locked up in your brain that will be unleashed when you use this method. You will discover that the sun will push away the dark clouds of despair and the feelings of gloom that kept you imprisoned in a mental torture chamber will dissipate. You will begin to act in a manner conducive to winning again. Please remember that you cannot think or act in a positive manner with an image that reminds you of a helpless child.
I NOW HAVE A TRIGGER MECHANISM THAT I CAN USE IN MOMENTS WHEN I FEEL DEFEATED, OUTCLASSED OR DOWN.
If you want to exert influence, you will have to look at the image that you project while at work and play. People treat you the way you project yourself. People, will use and abuse you if you go around with the image of a defeated man. You will feel exactly what you project. People do not follow losers and cry babies. They latch onto winners and people that make them feel safe and protected.
Will you put your life in the hands of a doctor that project an image of insecurity and hesitation? Will you invest money with a person that presents you with an image of an illiterate person? You must never forget that life is a jungle out there. If you show any sign of weakness or vulnerability, the vultures, and scavengers of life will appear like magic.
In nature the weak always becomes the victim of the strong. When a kudu feels ill or appear injured, the scavengers will target and devour him. In life, it is the same. When your head and shoulder go down you lose your zest for life. Your tone of voice drops to a whisper or whine and your feel drained and tired. Remember the trigger to get you out of this frame of mind is to reverse the process.
Lift your head and shoulders. Take a few deep breaths and walk like a man with a mission. You will be pleasantly surprised how quickly you feel in control again and how much fresh new energy will begin to pump through your body and mind.
Happiness and success is always just one thought away. You should remember when you find it difficult to cope that one thought could change your life. One fresh thought or one new idea can change your life from pain and suffering to success and peace of mind. You are what you think. Your choices that you make on a moment-to-moment basis decide your fate and future. You can never feel or perform better than the ongoing thoughts that you allow to occupy your mind.
These lips can whisper about love, compassion, forgiveness and care, they can kiss and caress or they can become an instrument that cause untold pain for her owner and everyone that is attached to her or that come into contact with her. Use this tool well and you will live in joy and happiness – allow them to say the first thing that comes to mind and you will create ongoing problems and disasters in all areas of your life and the lives of those that you touch during your journey through life.
Rene
YOUR COMPOSURE CAN MAKE YOU OR BREAK YOU. THE WAY YOU WALK AND TALK AND PRESENT YOURSELF WILL DECIDE THE LEVEL ON INFLUENCE YOU EXERT!
Very few people understand the powerful role their composure plays in everything they do and how they feel. You can never act in a positive manner if you go around with a troubled look on your face, slumped shoulders and whine in your voice. How can you think and act in a positive manner if your whole demeanour is that of a loser or fader? What you think is displayed in the image you project to the people around you. I have never seen a person with a negative attitude and poor self-image go up to any rostrum to receive first prize. I have never seen any person with the image of a bird with a broken wing sell like a champion. I have never seen a parent with the image of a bullterrier win the love and respect of his own children. What you project activates chemicals in your brain that will either fuel your passion or dowse the fire in your heart.
How can you expect to feel, act and be positive if you project an image of a dog that got one too many hiding? The point I am making here is that you have the power within you to turn you negative feelings around by simply adjusting your composure. When you feel down and defeated, pull back your shoulders, lift your head and take a few deep breaths. Look life and people straight in the eye. This will immediately trigger positive chemicals in your brain. The dark clouds will lift from your brain and stop smothering your creativity and passion.
This might sound too simple to be worth much, but just try it the next time you feel down and defeated. You will be amazed what power is locked up in your brain that will be unleashed when you use this method. You will discover that the sun will push away the dark clouds of despair and the feelings of gloom that kept you imprisoned in a mental torture chamber will dissipate. You will begin to act in a manner conducive to winning again. Please remember that you cannot think or act in a positive manner with an image that reminds you of a helpless child.
I NOW HAVE A TRIGGER MECHANISM THAT I CAN USE IN MOMENTS WHEN I FEEL DEFEATED, OUTCLASSED OR DOWN.
If you want to exert influence, you will have to look at the image that you project while at work and play. People treat you the way you project yourself. People, will use and abuse you if you go around with the image of a defeated man. You will feel exactly what you project. People do not follow losers and cry babies. They latch onto winners and people that make them feel safe and protected.
Will you put your life in the hands of a doctor that project an image of insecurity and hesitation? Will you invest money with a person that presents you with an image of an illiterate person? You must never forget that life is a jungle out there. If you show any sign of weakness or vulnerability, the vultures, and scavengers of life will appear like magic.
In nature the weak always becomes the victim of the strong. When a kudu feels ill or appear injured, the scavengers will target and devour him. In life, it is the same. When your head and shoulder go down you lose your zest for life. Your tone of voice drops to a whisper or whine and your feel drained and tired. Remember the trigger to get you out of this frame of mind is to reverse the process.
Lift your head and shoulders. Take a few deep breaths and walk like a person with a mission. You will be pleasantly surprised how quickly you feel in control again and how much fresh new energy will begin to pump through your body and mind.
Most of us sooner or later discover that we have two forces that course through our veins. We automatically vacillate between the “upper” and “lower” limits of this force on a moment to moment basis. The UPPER end of the pole of this system is called the “ACTION” zone and the “LOWEST” end of this pole is characterized as the “NON-ACTION” zone. The feelings generated by thoughts, events or for that matter everything and everyone we encounter decides the quality of the output we intend using to deal with the matter at hand. The mistake we make is that many of us think that we are at the mercy of this so-called automatic reaction patterns that endlessly flood our minds and hearts daily. We jump with joy and run like the wind when good feelings are generated by the thought or event that we are confronted with (ACTION) or shut down and retreat into a dark place in our minds (NON-ACTION). What many of us never knew or understood is that there is no need to remain a victim of our historical conditioning or past mistakes. All that is real and valid is our current moment. We can if we decide to take control act in an appropriate and powerful manner notwithstanding the threat and feelings of doubt that we might be confronted with. You are part of a universal force that caters for evolution on a moment to moment basis. Call this force God my friend if it will make you feel more comfortable. This force is fair and allows every living thing in the universe to evolve, grow and expand notwithstanding his or her history. You can make a fresh start on a moment to moment basis. You are allocated 86400 new moments in any given day where you can make a fresh start. There is no need to fear failure or hide in the “NON-ACTION” zone. The NON-ACTION zone is a place where you become stagnant and RESIST risking the possibility of getting hurt or disappointed. The choices you make decide the quality of the outcomes you experience daily. Very few of us understand that not making a choice is actually also a choice that you make. You choose NON-ACTION and RESISTANCE and give up control.
Spend some time today to probe why you have this reluctance to take action. What is the cause of the resistance deep inside you that is preventing you from being the best you that you can ever be? Now make a list of all the things you will do if you knew that you cannot fail. Make a list of everything that comes to mind. Think it and then ink it. I will continue this series tomorrow.
Everyday you make a thousand choices. You choose what to wear, where to go, who to meet, what to eat and what to do. MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, YOU decide WHAT TO THINK. One thing is sure and that is that your day will not be better than your thoughts. ...................
Just close your eyes for a moment and see if you can visualise this open toolbox and if you can see the hundreds of tools that are neatly placed in this toolbox. Now look if you can see the maker’s name on these tools. The creator of these tools (thoughts and perceptions) is you. You created thousands of thoughts and perceptions (tools) about everything since your childhood. ..................
When confronted with any situation or problem you reach into this toolbox and take out what you think the most appropriate tool would be and then attempt to fix the problem. It is estimated that your mind thinks at least 2,500 thoughts an hour. Every thought that you think is a tool (perception) that you have that you imagine would work best under specific circumstances. This thought process continues day and night and will do so for the rest of your life. .....................................
I am convinced that we think ourselves to a standstill. We never stop playing with these tools in our toolbox and can hardly ever really relax for a while. If we are not faced with a problem or task that needs completion we still continue to take out these tools and mentally rehears and contemplate how we will use them should something that we fear become a reality. ............................
We are forever thinking and scheming and never become still and tranquil inside. Our bodies might seem relaxed, but deep inside our heads this thought process continues churning around. What I am most worried about is that most of the tools that you have in your toolbox are very old and outdated. .......................
Many of the opportunities, problems and obstructions that you face daily cannot be repaired while you are using old and outdated tools. If you take a modern mechanic’s toolbox and you place the toolbox of a mechanic of fifty years ago next to it you will find that there are major discrepancies. When you are confronted with something that needs repair and you do not have the right tool for the task at hand it can be very frustrating. We usually improvise and try using some other tools and hope that it will also get the job done. ........................
When you are faced with a problem you need to select the right tool for the task at hand. If you do not have the tool in your toolbox it can complicate your life. What most people seem to ignore is that it is sometimes better not to reach for your toolbox when faced with a problem. Sometimes you need time to pass or need to leave the problem with its rightful owner. How well you use your tools is usually reflected in the world you see around you. What would you do if you were faced with any or all of the following? .........................
You get a flat tire on your way to an important customer or meeting. You can fall apart, develop a migraine and think that life is against you or you can take out the right tools (patience and reality) and take care of the problem in a relaxed manner. ........................
You have been working on the computer for hours and suddenly lose all your work. You can drop dead with a heart attack; think that God hates you or you can take out the right tool (sanity and reality) and begin over and this time remember to make a backup of your work. ....................
A lover or wife possibly cheated on you. You can go crazy and get an assassin to take out the potential threat to your relationship, think that you are a failure or you can take out the right tool (no fear of loss) and get on with your life. .......................
When you have the right tools in your toolbox it makes life a lot easier. The choices we make are vital in our lives. The more quality choices we make during any given day the higher the probability of success and peace of mind. ................
I suggest that you equip your toolbox with the best tools you can lay your hands on. It is important to upgrade if you discover that one of your tools are outdated or that a more modern version is available. How would you react if your TV packed up and a technician that obviously knows very little about electronics arrived at your house with only a sledgehammer and a few other primitive tools in his toolbox? I am sure that you will send him away and find someone better qualified and equipped for the task. .....................
You might sometimes be like this incompetent and poorly equipped technician indicated above if you do not often update your tools (thoughts) in your toolbox. You can also have all the right tools in your toolbox and never use them because you are afraid that you might make a mistake. ..................
You must remember that happiness and success is always just one thought (tool) away. You should remember when you find it difficult to cope with something that one new tool (thought) could change your life. One fresh thought and one new idea can change your life from pain and suffering to success and peace of mind. ........................
You are today what you were programmed with yesterday. The choices that you make on a moment-to-moment basis decide your fate and future. You can never feel or perform better than the ongoing thoughts and feelings that you allow to occupy your mind! .......................
The mistake we make is that most of us live our lives on a reactive basis. We start and complete our day in a reactive state of being. Something comes to our attention via our five senses or via a thought in our mind. We automatically slip into the “role” that we created for ourselves many moons ago. We act, react and experience the same feelings and emotions that we embedded with our scrip at its inception. We do exactly the same when new stimuli push the previous “drama” off the stage in our minds. We sustain this reactive mode of thinking until we finally go to bed at night. Most of our days are made up of a tapestry of “roles” that we played in our own colorful way. It is important to understand that nothing is going to change until we do something different. We cannot repeat the same old recipes and expect a different outcome. ....................
You can use the “Portable Life Skills Wisdom” book to develop a range of appropriate scripts that you can use when you are faced with a problem or project that need your attention. You will if you apply the scripts in this book find that you no longer run your life on a reactive basis. The new scripts will help you to live your life in the moment. You will become more realistic. You will treat each event on its own merit. How do you do this? ......................
The Process ....................
Read the first message in your book. Write it down if at all possible. It will assist you to absorb the data provided. Now sit back and close your eyes and visualize how you will apply the specific message in the various areas of your life. See yourself on the screen of your mind using the message in all your day-to-day activities. It is important to attempt to feel and experience the benefits that this new mode of thinking will bring into your life. Do this for ten minutes. Then open your eyes and begin to apply the wisdom on all occasions where appropriate in your activities on that given day. ...........................
Proceed to do the same with second message etc. in your book tomorrow. You will upload almost a thousand powerful recipes if you sustain the process indicated above. You can in less than three years upload a powerful “tool” system that will serve you for the rest of your life. This can be a life changing experience if you apply it daily. You will discover that the ten minutes you invest daily will upload countless new strategies into your subconscious computer. Build a successful and happy life. The key however is action. You can have the best tools available to man and still fail if you don’t use them daily. Wishing you the very best with this endeavor. .............................
Daily Support System (This Blog) ................
You not only have the massive key ideas in the book that you can use when appropriate you also receive daily posts on a wide range of subjects that will expand this system to a level never offered before. Visit this blog daily for fresh new ideas with a sprinkle of historical wisdom that stood the test of time. ..........................
Rene
PORTABLE LIFE SKILLS DAILY WISDOM GUIDE 