Your body is beautiful. It doesn’t matter whether you’re plump or slender.

 

 

 

As an artist’s and photographer’s model, I’ve spent substantial portions of my early-to-mid twenties standing around in front of strangers with no clothes on. And while it might be initially nerve-wracking, it’s also one of the most interesting and worthwhile experiences I’ve ever had — so worthwhile that I firmly believe it belongs on the bucket list for any young woman, no matter what her shape, size, or level of confidence with her own naked body. Why should you take a photo or two in your birthday suit?

 

• Your body is beautiful. Really, it is. And it doesn’t matter whether you’re plump or slender, reedy or Rubenesque; your whole self — top to toe — deserves its day in the spotlight. Women put in huge amounts of effort each day just to meet society’s standard of beauty, only to get bogged down by stress and insecurity over failing to fit within that narrowly-defined (and often unhealthy) ideal. Stripping down and showing it off is a celebratory, powerful, even subversive act — and it’s exhilarating. And when you see those photos in the days, months and years that follow, it’ll be with a lasting appreciation for your body as the glorious, gorgeous machine it is.

• It’s a confidence boost. Between diet culture, celebrity obsession, and the airbrushed images that we see every day on billboards and in magazines, women have developed an utterly warped idea of what a healthy body looks like. And the effects go way beyond simply disliking what we see in the mirror; at this point, many women are battling body dysmorphia and/or too afraid to even look at themselves naked. Seeing your own body given just a fraction of the star treatment — with makeup, lighting, and a skilled photographer to help you pose — is a powerful way to fight back against that fear and insecurity. Basically, you are so much hotter than you think you are.

• It’s totally vain… and completely awesome. When it comes to balancing your busy life, you’re always being told to take care, take time out, and take one day a week to do something nice for yourself. Well, go big or go home, lady. Your “just for me” weekly manicure only lasts as long as it takes your nail polish to chip, but a private album of drawings or photos that show you at your prime — young, healthy, and before childbirth, gravity, and the vagaries of time have taken their toll — is a memory you’ll have forever. (Not to mention a great conversation-starter when someone pulls it off your bookshelf in 2072 and says, “Grandma! Was that YOU?”)

 

So, are you ready to get naked? You’ve got options, but they’re not all good. Unless you’re the edgy type, avoid amateur photographers with seedy apartment “studios” and no portfolio to speak of; chances are, they’re just looking for spank material. And even if your boyfriend is a totally trustworthy dude who would never, ever blackmail you with your sexy shots post-breakup, he may lack the photographic skills to do your naked body justice. (And while an unflattering photo is never pleasant, an unflattering naked photo is a special kind of hell.) Instead, plan to drop a little cash and consider the following:

 

• Boudoir photography. If you want to look gorgeous and play coy, hire a professional boudoir photog to snap some sexy, low-lit photos of you in your favorite lingerie… or less. (Check with your individual photographer to see how he or she feels about topless shots, straight-up nudity, or tasteful draping.)

• Go retro. Love the look of old-school pin-up shots like Marilyn Monroe’s famous series with Bert Stern? Photogs specializing in vintage-inspired photoshoots have begun cropping up all over the country; if you’re nervous about taking it all off, some studios also offer costumes and wigs to get you into character.

• Sexiness optional. Naked photos don’t have to be porn-y; if looking lascivious isn’t your thing, skip the sex factor and work with a fine art photographer to shoot some artistic, black-and-white nudes that explore your body’s form in a non-erotic way.

• Put it on paper. Taking nude photos absolutely isn’t the recipe for disaster that people make it out to be — you retain the rights to pictures you’ve paid for, but even if you didn’t, a naked body isn’t a moral evil in and of itself. (Meaning that if someone sees them, it’s not like your life is over. Just ask Carla Bruni!) But if you simply can’t stomach the thought of actual photographic evidence that, at one time, you did not have clothes on, consider posing for a figure drawing or painting class. The in-practice terror factor is substantially greater — instead of one photographer seeing you nude, it’s a dozen aspiring artists and an instructor — but the sketch that one of your new artist friends gifts to you at the end of class will forever be a cool and unique souvenir of your brass-balled bravery.

SOURCE

 

 

 

Try a few time to admit your mistake without trying to justify your error.

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One of the most corrosive things many of us do is that we often rationalise perceived mistakes we made. I am often astounded with the justifications that some people come up when they fall short of their own or other’s expectations. They will find something or someone to blame. They often blame the weather, racism, historical disadvantages, God or Satan, the government, the recipe, fellow workers, the children, their partner etc. What we fail to understand is that rationalisation fortifies our habit of living a life of RESISTANCE. Did it ever cross your mind that mistakes you make or events where you fail to conclude a project successfully is a wonderful opportunity to learn and grow? The word “sin” originally simply meant that a person fell short of the expectation (goal) that he was expected to achieve. It is only when devious and clever operators noticed the wonderful opportunity to use failure as a mind control system that the concept of sin took on the horrific dimensions still used in many religions. People were made to feel like shit when they once again fell short of the so-called requirements that God personally cast in stone. What amplified the fear of sinning and letting God down was the absolute nonsense preached that nobody can escape the all seeing eye of God. People became devious and began to hide, rationalise and justify their failures. Children that have strict and obsessive parents soon discover that telling the truth can turn into a fairly unpleasant experience. They soon develop a wide range of justifications and rationalisation that would make a judge scratch his head. Some children can think up excuses and reasons for poor performance or a lack of progress that would make most defence attorneys blush. Something else that must be kept in mind is that all of us look at life through our own filter systems. We see our own perceptions as real and valid and often cannot see anything from other’s perspectives. We become mentally blind and cannot for a moment contemplate why someone is making such a fuss about a perceived mistake we made. Empathy (putting you in other’s shoes) fell apart over the years. Showing empathy means that you admit to your mistakes and as explained earlier could lead to pain and punishment. Every time we get away with the justifications we make up we entrench ourselves deeper in our castle of RESISTANCE. The problem with “making up stories and justifications” is that we must suddenly remember what bullshit story we used to cover up our dispositions. The joke is that we begin to believe our own stories and will often be prepared to fight to the death to keep what really happened under wraps. Admitting mistakes we made provide wonderful learning opportunities and at the same time extract the toxic substance that accompanies whatever transpired. We came to this dimension to experience and to grow. The mistakes we make are wonderful opportunities to learn and to expand our self-image and self-esteem. You can save lots of time, tap dancing and frustration if you admit your mistake and offer to remedy whatever damage you caused. There are parent that strongly insist that their children tell them the truth (and nothing but the truth). The child often views a hair raising performance from their parents when they tell the truth. Their mother begin to hyperventilate while she rips bundles of hair out of her sculpt while the father clutch his chest while he whisper and wheeze how he is going to beat the child up and force him to stay in his room for fifteen years. Let’s be honest. Very few children will continue to admit to mistakes after a few dramatic performances by his or her parents. Children later become adults and even later parents. They in turn duplicate the examples set by their parents and in the process produce a new generation of children that RESIST admitting mistakes that also find it impossible to show empathy to those that they harmed in with a mistake they made. The solution is to “tell it like it is” and let the chips fall where they may.

 

Spend today and see if you notice how you or others justify and rationalise when mistakes are made. See how service staff blame the computer when the messed up your account. See how incompetent mechanics flounder and lie when you question the quality of work they did on your vehicle. Try a few time do admit your mistake without trying to justify your error. You might shock a few individuals that are not used to hearing the truth – but do it anyway.

Rene

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Who do we think will come and rescue us?

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It is mind blowing to see what hardship and distress some of us need to go through before we wake up to the fact that we are trapped in a state of NON-ACTION by our fear. How many of our relationships must be destroyed by our inability to do what need to be done or say what we desire to say before we grab resistance by the throat. We resist our feelings in our relationships because our partner might gain the upper hand or get the wrong impression of us. A person or partner treat us like shit and we just stand there and bite our tongues. We are too afraid to take drastic and sustained action because we are afraid that he or she might leave us. We remain in a toxic relationship because we are afraid that we might end up lonely in a flat with only a big fat cat and a canary to keep us company. We yearn for success, money and affluence, but do little or nothing that can move us towards our desires and dreams. We are so afraid that we might fail that we remain in a sustained state of hibernation. Many of us want to write a book, play or paint something, but we fail to lift a finger because we allow the fog of resistance to cloud our mind. What are we waiting for? Who do we think will come and rescue us or break down the door to come and give us a job or show us that we are worthy? The fog of resistance clouds our judgement and ability to walk tall and play to win. This feeling or force that kept many of us prisoner since early childhood has no power to bind us. We are its power source. It feeds off our fear of failing or getting hurt. It is recharged every time we allow doubt to clasp its slimy cold fingers around our hearts. Do you know why many outperform us in business, relationships and entrepreneurial ventures? I am sad to report that they have nothing that you don’t have other than the courage to walk forward in the face of adversity. Champions also feel the fear, but they have that little something that override their fear. Their hearts are also beating like a drum, but they do what they know needs to be done until the task is completed. The key is to take that first step forward no matter what you are faced with. Then take a second, third and forth step as well. You will soon gather a rhythm of your own while you write that first page of your book or put down that paint on your masterpiece’s canvas. Yes my friend feel the fear and then do what needs to be done anyway.

 

Spend some time today pushing back the resistance that have been blocking you for far too long now. Make a list of stuff that you have been sidestepping for a while now. Take number one on the list and do what needs to be done until you can put a tick (task completed) next to it on your list. Now do the same with number two etc. You will soon be flooded with powerful surges of energy and courage. I will continue this series tomorrow.

 

Rene

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