It is our belief systems that produce arrogance or feelings of inferiority in all our day-to-day daily encounters.

We came to certain conclusions early in life. These perceptions became our ongoing guide with the choices we make and the way we manage everything else in our “world”. We for example concluded that winter is miserable, carrots improve your eyesight or that all men cannot be trusted or that women are devious and cunning. We can also believe that God is some kind of “super human” with white hair and a beard that live in the clouds or that boiled pumpkin cause flatulence. We believe that only our church and our saviour is right and that our God (the one that lives in the clouds) is going to kill the billions that fail to grasp this indisputable “truth”. Some of us believe passionately that only our race is intelligent, smart, productive and fair. It should thus not come as a surprise that we feel depressed on winter days or get upset when someone is unable to grasp that our religion and saviour is the only way to salvation. It is our belief systems that produce arrogance or feelings of inferiority in all our day-to-day daily encounters.

.

 Rene

We came to certain conclusions early in life. These perceptions became our ongoing guide with the choices we make and the way we manage everything else in our “world”.

Rene

 

The Masters at work – Eric Clapton/B.B. King/Buddy Guy/Jimmie Vaughn – Rock Me Baby = PLUS

 

There are some ways you can stop brain rot. Stop routine at all costs and by any means.

 

 

Brain rot is the result of an overdose of unnecessary and useless information. If you have adopted a way of living which leads your brain to rot then the consequences will be visible in the near future, if they aren’t already. Expect your behavior and perception to worsen and the overall capacity of your mind to decrease. As your brain gets used to inactivity it will shut down whole neuron networks as they seem to be unused and therefore unnecessary.

 

There are some ways you can stop brain rot. The number one factor you have to limit is routine. Stop routine at all costs and by any means. You cannot imagine how much this action will benefit you.

 

Nowadays it is very difficult to stop routine as most jobs require from you to be there every day from 9 to 5. So in the ideal case you leave work at 5 o’clock (in my country this is very rare…) and you have 7-8 hours free time to do whatever you like.

 

First of all, turn off the TV and PC. Leave it off for the last one or two hours before going to bed. Don’t spend all of your free time in front of a monitor. A part from this, in case you watch too much TV, your brain stops working and transits to a passive mode. Television is full of crappy programs that fill your mind with useless and trashy information.

 

Instead of watching TV you can go out and run. Gymnastics and especially aerobics not only stop brain rot but are very effective, healthy and natural ways to expand your mind. Gymnastics improve your whole body, not only the brain.

 

Now if you feel that watching TV is what you like to do then do it, but don’t overdo it. Ok, watch your favorite series, as this entertains you, but you don’t have to watch the next crappy celebrity news show. Do something else which will keep your brain active. You can read a book for example which engages your imagination. Or you can read an interesting magazine.

 

I prefer to be outside most of the daytime. I like to get some friends and go out for a coffee. Many times we discuss life issues. Such discussions may lead you to realize things about your life, your personality, your ambitions and your attitude towards other people and your life. Most of my realizations have occurred during discussions with friends. I find this activity way more beneficial than staying home watching TV or playing video games. I do this only when I haven’t something better to do.

Other ways you can break routine:

 

• Change the route you follow when you drive to work.

• Change entertainment places. You don’t have to drink your beer to the same place every night.

• Go excursions when you have the time (weekends?).

• Do sports.

• Acquire unusual experiences.

• Find hobbies that interest you.

• Don’t repeat the same activities, do something different.

• Question everything you don’t know.

• Change the position of your furniture.

• Get close to the nature. Go hiking, rafting, camping etc.

• Travel

• Enrich your sexual life

 

The above are some ways you can break routine. If an activity does not interest you anymore, occurs always the same time and you do it without thinking of it then it has ended up a routine. If you cannot avoid this activity then change the way you do it. This will engage your brain to think and invent new ways to complete it. The idea behind stopping the brain rot is to stop inactivity. This will also slow down the aging process.

 

Generally, anything that engages your mind to think breaks routine. Enrich your life with activities you enjoy. You will also have a feeling of fulfillment like  that you don’t observe your life passing. Live your life now, not later!

 

By Socrates Chouridis
Source: Mind-Expanding-Techniques.com

 

 

 

GAINING AND LOSING FACE IS SERIOUS BUSINESS ….especially if you’re doing business or spending a long time in China.

GAINING AND LOSING FACE IS SERIOUS BUSINESS

 

So don’t treat this concept of mianzi too lightly….especially if you’re doing business or spending a long time in China.

 

Foreigners working in China (who don’t appreciate the full cultural importance of face) often complain that their Chinese counterparts are “too sensitive” about being offended or having their feelings hurt. 

 

Similarly, many ex-pats in China—as well as other Asian countries such as Japan, Korea, Thailand, Singapore—can tell you stories of how their local friend suddenly stopped talking to them (probably because they somehow caused them to lose face).

 

And from the Western perspective, it is true—the Chinese are generally more sensitive to any perceived slights having to do with losing face since it’s so ingrained in their culture.

 

This cultural thin-skin is largely a product of culture that has valued social harmony as the prime rule (and generally avoided criticism).

 

In the West, many of these slights are seen as minor and quickly forgotten. But in China, failing to appreciate face can cause serious problems. While an American businessperson might be respected back home for his frankness and being a “straight-shooter,” he would likely be viewed in China as uncultured, overbearing, and rude.

 

For instance, an American subordinate attending a meeting where his boss is presenting would generally think nothing of raising a question, making an alternate suggestion, or even disagreeing in front of others. In China, this would be a serious face-losing situation for the subordinate, boss, and even the company.

 

In fact, making someone lose face can sometimes insult someone so deeply to create an enemy for life. Indeed, revenge is very much part of the equation—and not just on Chinese soap operas, which include a heavy dose of avenging face-losing situations. I think it’s safe to say that throughout China’s long history, face has started many unnecessary conflicts.

 

In terms of practical travel advice, a loss of face can result in some form of sabotage, non-compliance, or foot-dragging. For instance, let’s say that you’re frustrated by an employee who is processing your visa or permit. You start ranting and raving loudly—demanding to see the manager, etc. Don’t be surprised if your application is “lost” under the bottom of the pile.

 

 SO HOW DO YOU DEFINE IT EXACTLY?

 As a sociological construct, the Chinese concept of face is difficult to define. The famous writer and translator Lin Yutang (1895 –1976) even went so far as to say that “face cannot be translated or defined.” He did however characterized it as “Abstract and intangible, it is yet the most delicate standard by which Chinese social intercourse is regulated.”

The closest translations are along the lines of “pride”, “dignity” or “prestige”. But these don’t tell the whole story.

SOURCE

 

And they asked me, “Please say a few words on shame” – My lecture notes.

A defeated person becomes indifferent about his fate. He finally stops feeling ashamed or sorry. He stops resisting and fighting to reclaim his dignity. The wise is very aware that passive behaviour could make him act like a dog with a broken spirit. Our parks are filled with defeated individuals that tragically accepted their fate in life.

It is not a shame to not reach your goals, but not having goals is disastrous. How can you fly your plane of life and forget to lodge a flight plan? How can others help you if not even you know where you want to be? The formula for success is actually very simple. Decide what you want and then start doing stuff that will take you towards your desired objective. The fool is convinced that it is a shame to retreat or admit defeat. He will rather give his life, lose his house or estrange his family than admit that he made a mistake.

We sometimes must go back so we can go forward. The fool continues regardless of the obvious while the wise man retreats and learns from his mistakes. There is a saying, “Run away today so you can fight again another day.” A strategic retreat is standard procedure during times of war. The wise man knows when it is time to leave. The fool clings to his sinking ship until it is buried in the waves. Leave at the right moment and you will be missed, but overstay your welcome and you will be shunned. It is no shame to call it a day, call time out or to retire hurt for a while. The fool is too proud or too stupid to see when a cycle has ended.

When we were born, we received the gift of unlimited potential. It is a shame that this gift is soon taken away by those that were responsible for our education. You were already fully conditioned before your tenth birthday to accept the limitations of the zone you were born into. The real warrior is not zone-bound and can move into any zone with ease.

Your spirit is unlimited and can adapt to any circumstances. You were born a champion and will remain a champion until your final day on this plane. When you are knocked down while playing the game of life you can see the setbacks as the end of your attempt, or you could view them as part of your education process at the university of life. There is no shame in failure or mistakes, but there is reason for concern when you stay down. Champions fail their way to success. When they fail, they get up, dust themselves off and try again. They make the necessary adjustments until they succeed. They are champions because they got up many times after being knocked down.

Champions do not see themselves as victims or cry over spilled milk. A child reared without clear boundaries has little chance of success. Limits are necessary to give purpose, direction and structure to life. The fool swims in a boundless sea of opportunity and finally drowns because of his failure to latch onto a specific purpose. He tries to own the sea while the wise man selects a single purpose (opportunity/goal) and then pursue it with all his heart. The wise man understands the power of commitment and focused thought and is well rewarded. A person that lives in a safe, moderate middle of the road manner will never experience true living. How can you appreciate victory if you never tasted defeat? How can you appreciate good food if you never went hungry? Dare to go to the outer perimeters of your comfort zone and discover the true spirit of the pioneer. Flirt with failure and learn what passion is all about.

A true warrior accepts that struggles and challenges will assist him to become a formidable fighter. The fool is afraid of problems, challenges or setbacks and can thus never become a true warrior. The formidable fighter understands that challenges and struggles will be part of his life until his final day on this planet. The fool cries and moans every time life throws a curveball at him. Setbacks and failures are part of the training school of life.

A wise man is aware of his limitations. He spends most of his time doing what he naturally excels at and does not waste valuable time pursuing activities that obviously do not suit his style. Certain people can run like the wind and others excel academically. The less informed sees himself as a failure if he is not flawless in everything he does. A wise person is not the slave of his history. He came to the realisation that whatever happened in the past is history. Every moment is a new challenge. The fool is so entangled mentally with the failures and mistakes that he made historically that he is unable to do his best in the current moment. Wisdom is to forget about your history and to accept that the state of your current world is the only reality.

People love using people’s history against them. They shackle them to their history and in this manner prevent them from making a success of the now. All of us need recognition and acceptance. We might have a history of failures and disasters, but deep inside the flame of being special to someone continues to flicker in the dark recesses of our minds. You will select your words with much more care if you can understand this inherent need of people. You will take your own priorities out of the way for a while and rather focus on the dreams and aspirations of the people that share your journey on spaceship earth. Acceptance costs nothing and can be passed on with unbridled abundance.

All you have in life is the current moment. You can only live life one moment at a time. If you allow past mistakes and poor choices to infiltrate your current moment you are setting yourself up for failure. Most of us have made many poor choices since our early childhood. There is no purpose at all in replaying past mistakes made in the theatre of your mind.

Rene

 

Reverse psychology – Underselling is probably one of the easiest and most effective ways to plant an idea in someone’s mind.

Two things in life that are difficult to achieve:-

1. To plant your idea in someone’s head

2. To plant someone’s money in your own pocket

He who succeeds in planting his idea in someone’s head – we
call Lao Shi (teacher)

He who succeeds planting someone’s money in his own pocket – we
call Lao Ban (boss)

The one who succeeds in both – we call Lao Po (wife) or Lao
Qian (trickster)

The one who fails in both – we call Lao Gong (husband)

 

WISDOM OF CONFUCIUS

  

If you’ve ever been convinced by a salesperson that you truly wanted a product, done something too instinctively, or made choices that seemed entirely out of character, then you’ve had an idea planted in your mind. Here’s how it’s done.

Before we get started, it’s worth noting that planting an idea in someone’s mind without them knowing is a form of manipulation. We’re not here to judge you, but this is the sort of thing most people consider evil, so you probably shouldn’t actually do anything you read here. Instead, use this information to stay sharp.

 

If you’ve seen the film Inception, you might think that planting an idea in someone’s mind is a difficult thing to do. It’s not. It’s ridiculously easy and it’s tough to avoid. We’re going to take a look at some of the ways it can work.

Reverse Psychology Actually Works

 

Reverse psychology has become an enormous cliché. I think this peaked in 1995 with the release of the film Jumanji. (If you’ve seen it and remember it, you know what I’m talking about.)

 

The problem is that most people look at reverse psychology in a very simple way. For example, you’d say “I don’t care if you want to go risk your life jumping out of a plane” to try and convince someone not to go skydiving. This isn’t reverse psychology — it’s passive-aggressive. So let’s leave that all behind and start from scratch.

If you’re going to use logic reversals in your favor, you need to be subtle. Let’s say you want your roommate to do the dishes because it’s his or her turn. There’s always this approach:
“Hey, would you mind doing the dishes? It’s your turn.”

But in this example we’re assuming your roommate is lazy and the nice approach isn’t going to get the job done. So what do you do? Something like this:

“Hey, I’ve decided I don’t want to do the dishes anymore and am just going to start buying disposable stuff. Is that cool with you? If you want to give me some money, I can pick up extras for you, too.”

What this does is present the crappy alternative to not doing the dishes without placing any blame. Rather than being preoccupied with an accusation, your roommate is left to only consider the alternative. This is how reverse psychology can be effective, so long as you say it like you mean it.

Never Talk About the Idea — Talk Around It

 

Getting someone to want to do something can be tough if you know they’re not going to want to do it, so you need to make them believe it was their idea. This is a common instruction, especially for salespeople, but it’s much easier said than done. You have to look at planting ideas in the same way you’d look at solving a mystery. Slowly but surely you offer the target a series of clues until the obvious conclusion is the one you want. The key is to be patient, because if you rush through your “clues” it will be obvious. If you take it slow, the idea will form naturally in their mind all by itself.

Let’s say you’re trying to get your friend to eat healthier food. This is a good aim, but you’ve got a tough enemy: they’re addicted to the Colonel and need a bucket of fried chicken at least once a day. Out of concern you tell them to eat healthier. They either think that’s a good idea and then never do anything or just tell you to stop nagging them. For them to realize what they’re doing to their body, they need to have an epiphany and you can make that happen by talking around the issue.

To do this you need to be very clever and very subtle, otherwise it will be obvious. You can’t just say “oh, I read today that fried chicken is killing 10 million children in Arkansas every year” because that’s a load of crap and comes with an incredibly obvious motivation for saying it. If chicken is the target, you need to make chicken seem really unappealing. Next time you sneeze, make a joke about coming down with the avian flu. When you’re ordering at a restaurant together, verbally convey your decision to order something other than chicken because you just learned how most chicken is processed by restaurants.

 

When you’ve done enough of these things — and, again, with enough space between them so that it doesn’t seem like odd behavior — you can start being a little more aggressive and stop going with your friend to get fried chicken. You can also take proactive steps to improve your own health and tell your friend 1) what you’re doing, and 2) how well it’s working for you. After a few weeks, if your friend hasn’t decided to reconsider his or her position on frequent fried chicken, you can casually mention it and they should be much more open to having a real discussion.

Undersell

 

Underselling is probably one of the easiest and most effective ways to plant an idea in someone’s mind. This is another version of reverse psychology but at a less aggressive level. Let’s say you’re trying to sell someone a hard drive. They could buy a 250GB, 500GB, or 1TB hard drive. You want to sell the largest hard drive possible because those cost more and mean more money for you. Your buyer is coming in with the idea that they want to spend the least money possible. You’re not going to get very far by telling them they should spend more money when you know they don’t want to. Instead, you need to cater to what they want: the cheap option. Here’s a sample dialogue:

 

Buyer: Can you tell me about this 250GB hard drive? I want to make sure it will work for me.

You: What kind of computer do you have and what do you want to use it for?

Buyer: I have a 2-year old Windows laptop and I need it to store my photos. I have about 30GB of photos.

You: 250GB is definitely more than enough for just storing your photos, so as long as you don’t have many more files you might want to put onto the drive it should be just fine for your needs.

 

This last sentence instills doubt in the buyer. You could even add “you’d only need a larger drive if you wanted to be absolutely sure you’ll have enough space in the future” but that might be pushing it a little bit. The point is, if you appear to have their best interests at heart it can be easy to make them think they want to buy more from you.

 

Again, I’d like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that planting ideas in the minds of others is not necessarily a nice thing to do. Use this information to detect when someone’s doing it to you and not necessarily as a guide to do it to somebody else.

By Adam Dachis / Source: Lifehacker.com

 

If you need/want to persuade anyone of anything. Include the following ingredients in your recipe for maximum effect.

Perfection is hard to achieve in any walk of life and persuasion is no different. It relies on many things going just right at the crucial moment; the perfect synchronisation of source, message and audience. But even if perfection is unlikely, we all need to know what to aim for.

 

To bring you the current series on the psychology of persuasion I’ve been reading lots of research, much more than is covered in recent posts. As I read, I noticed the same themes cropping up over and over again.

 

Here are the most important points for crafting the perfect persuasive message, all of which have scientific evidence to back them up.

 

1. Multiple, strong arguments: the more arguments, the more persuasive, but overall persuasive messages should be balanced, as two-sided arguments fare better than their one-sided equivalents (as long as counter-arguments are shot down).

 

2. Relevance: persuasive messages should be personally relevant to the audience. If not, they will switch off and fail to process it.

 

3. Universal goals: In creating your message, understand the three universal goals for which everyone is aiming: affiliation, accuracy and positive self-concept.

 

4. Likeability: ingratiating yourself with the audience is no bad thing—most successful performers, actors, lawyers and politicians do it. Likeability can be boosted by praising the audience and by perceived similarity. Even the most fleeting similarities can be persuasive.

 

5. Authority: people tend to defer to experts because it saves us trying to work out the pros and cons ourselves (read the classic experiment on obedience to authority).

 

6. Attractiveness: the physical attractiveness of the source is only important if it is relevant (e.g. when selling beauty products).

 

7. Match message and medium: One useful rule of thumb is: if the message is difficult to understand, write it; if it’s easy, put it in a video.

 

8. Avoid forewarning: don’t open up saying “I will try and persuade you that…” If you do, people start generating counter-arguments and are less likely to be persuaded.

 

9. Go slow: If the audience is already sympathetic, then present the arguments slowly and carefully (as long as they are relevant and strong). If the audience is against you then fast talkers can be more persuasive.

 

10. Repetition: whether or not a statement is true, repeating it a few times gives the all-important illusion of truth. The illusion of truth leads to the reality of persuasion.

 

11. Social proof: you’ve heard it before and you’ll hear it again—despite all their protestations of individuality, people love conformity. So tell them which way the flock is going because people want to be in the majority.

 

12. Attention: if the audience isn’t paying attention, they can’t think about your arguments, so attitudes can’t change. That’s why anything that sharpens attention, like caffeine, makes people easier to persuade. And speaking of attention…

 

13. Minimise distraction: if you’ve got a strong message then audiences are more swayed if they pay attention. If the arguments are weak then it’s better if they’re distracted.

 

14. Positively framed: messages with a positive frame can be more persuasive.

 

15. Disguise: messages are more persuasive if they don’t appear to be intended to persuade or influence as they can sidestep psychological reactance (hence the power of overheard arguments to change minds).

 

16. Psychologically tailored: messages should match the psychological preferences of the audience. E.g. some people prefer thinking-framed arguments and others prefer feel-framed arguments (see: battle between thought and emotion in persuasion). Also, some people prefer to think harder than others.

 

17. Go with the flow: persuasion is strongest when the message and audience are heading in the same direction. Thoughts which come into the audience’s mind more readily are likely to be more persuasive.

 

18. Confidence: not only your confidence, but theirs. The audience should feel confident about attitude change. Audience confidence in their own thoughts is boosted by a credible source and when they feel happy (clue: happy audiences are laughing).

 

19. Be powerful: a powerful orator influences the audience, but making the audience themselves feel powerful increases their confidence in attitude change. An audience has to feel powerful enough to change.

 

20. Avoid targeting strong beliefs: strong attitudes and beliefs are very difficult to change. Do not directly approach long-standing ideas to which people are committed, they will resist and reject. Strong beliefs must be approached indirectly.

 

How to Change Minds

 

You should be aware that many of these factors interact with each other. For example when the message is strong but the source is dodgy, the sleeper effect can arise.

 

Argument strength is also critical. The basic principle is that when arguments are strong, you need to do everything to make people concentrate on them. When they’re weak, it’s all about distracting the audience from the content and using peripheral routes to persuade, such as how confidently or quickly you talk.

 

Weaving all these together is no mean feat, but look at most professionally produced persuasive messages and you’ll see many of these principles on show. Incorporate as many as you can for maximum effect.

 

SOURCE